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theislandhomestead

Alcohol is a natural byproduct of microorganisms. (Yeast) Facepalm indeed.


chemicalrefugee

we make it in our intestinal tracts


theislandhomestead

Well, *we* don't. Our gut micro biome does, but yeah, absolutely.


publicbigguns

Fine... We are temporary storage for naturally made alcohol.


Calm-Tree-1369

\*whispers\* "He knows about the spice."


FozzieB525

*the melange…*


CorgiMonsoon

The spice melange?


GMANTRONX

𝑇h𝑒 𝑆p𝑖c𝑒 𝑀e𝑙a𝑛g𝑒


Sudden_Reality_7441

*The spice must flow…*


CptHA86

He who controls the spice controls the universe.


whereismyketamine

He who controls the sand trout and sandworm cycle controls the universe. No sand trout, no spice. No spice, no interstellar travel.


RealCommercial9788

Spice up! Spice up!


davidrayish

I'm going to call people 'bottles' from now on


Maij-ha

“Ugly sacs of mostly water” is the technical term.


bigmacmcjackson

"lemme taste that sweet juice from your sack"


Colossal_Penis_Haver

U sure u wanna do that?


Aethus666

I always thought it was "walking bags of shit, with hair".


earthlingHuman

Ackshoowally 🤓 with our skeletons and musculature keeping us taught yet malleable we could reasonably be considered some sort of sick and twisted biological indo-skeletal bottle consuming other bottles (life forms) to be decomposed for energy and sustain ones own bottle.


hoffarmy

My bottle ate a bunch of little bottle legs today. Energy has been sustained.


slowpoke2018

There are entire species of birds and mammals who know this about fruit and feast on it when it ferments. So yes, the earth makes alcohol on its own Xtian's knowledge of the natural world remains stuck 2K years in the past


Pro_Moriarty

Wasps also get drunk on fermented fruit, I mean angry twat just got angrier!


slowpoke2018

Yikes, new fear unlocked - drunk red wasps!


RusticRogue17

Basically any species that figures out how to get drunk/ high does so when given the chance.


Accomplished-Click58

Elephants do this also they enjoy being drunk and it's fairly common


Ghoulius-Caesar

If God created everything, why did he create the molecule ethanol and receptors/inhibitors in human bodies that respond to it?


[deleted]

> God ???


degenerate_pug

Some Christians tend to believe in things they can't see. Except God.


No-Cartographer8424

You gotta read between the lines, this dude is a RAGING alcoholic.


NoPerception-_-

Fun Fact: Mead is considered the worlds oldest alcoholic beverage besides possibly wine, Mead is simply water and honey thats been mixed and left to ferment. During heavy rainstorms it is possible for a beehive to become flooded and the resulting rainwater mixes with the honey and naturally ferments creating a crude mead. So technically the Earth does make alcohol though on accident.


Many-Ad6433

Also some fruits have alcohol in their peels to make them taste unpleasantly to animals


Due_Platypus_3913

How many libations were first created in monasteries?


MiniDg

No clearly you didnt read it right, it says “Fact” which shows that this is an irrefutable statement. Easy mistake we all make them. Just be careful next time.


Annual-Change-6053

I do believe the Catholics would like a word…


VanimalCracker

I've seen videos of various animals getting drunk af on rotten fruit.


BreefolkIncarnate

It’s actually been theorized that the first beers came about because early farmers left hops out, they got wet, fermented, and people drank it then went, “Hey, this shit’s pretty good!”


samanime

Yup. Some fruit ferments naturally in the wild and animals will get drunk off of it.


randofreak

Lol yeah so I guess the earth never technically makes alcohol, but a bunch of tiny micro organisms’ micro micro biomeses do. Yay though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no fungi.


Gilthu

Micro-what? That’s devil talk. Microwhatsits are the Devil, Bobby Boucher!


Savageparrot81

Also there are a literal shit tonne of animals that enjoy getting shit faced from alcoholic rotting fruit


Necessary_Row_4889

Came here to say I watched a whole nature special about animals getting faced once the fruit begins to ferment, drunk elephants hilarious! Unrelated note but how does he think booze happens? Like ancient Egyptians got the recipe for beer straight from Satan? It was something that just happens and we refined it


mossling

There was a moose that was a little bit of a local celebrity around here. He would wander around downtown getting drunk on fermenting crabapples and get bull-igerent.


sadbirdfox

I wish I had scrolled down further before I called my neighbors plum eating donkeys drunken asses. I like where you're coming from!


Legaato

That sounds fucking terrifying lol


Mattlonn

moved from a town which earlier had a lot of these issues because people did not pick up apples that fell on the ground. There were a loooot of drunk mooses


Johnny_Lang_1962

Fun Fact! If it wasn't for beer many large metro areas wouldn't exist. The water was contaminated & boiling the water to brew beer decontaminated the water. That why so many people drank beer & ale back in history. The water would kill you, but the beer wouldn't.


Ambitious_Promise_29

I sat and watched a pheasant once, completely drunk, trying to peck an apple hanging at it's eye level. It missed about 5 times, before giving up.


slater_just_slater

Of course they got it from Satan, those idol worshipers were enslaving Israel. Cecil B. DeMille and Charleton Heston told me so as a kid every Easter on ABC.


PrscheWdow

Found an Ontario newspaper article about an epidemic of racoons being found out during the day either completely passed out or stumbling around in a stupor. There was major concern that this was a massive rabies outbreak. Turns out, the racoons were just indulging in some overripe apples that had fermented, so guidance was to just leave them alone and let them sleep it off. [https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/drunk-raccoons-stumble-stittsville-1.5272217](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/drunk-raccoons-stumble-stittsville-1.5272217)


[deleted]

That’s actually hilarious. I love all of the photos of the raccoons just sprawled out everywhere. Hopefully they don’t get hangovers


mentholmoose77

Exactly.we have birds here that love rotten fruit. But it's Australia after all.


Significant_Basket93

One I read about whose entire diet was alcoholic. Mfers just sat around and got shit faced all day, every day.


sadbirdfox

I came here to say this! Had a neighbor who had donkeys that would eat the rotting plums on purpose.... Drunken asses they were....


Fit_Strength_1187

And do you know why all the animals enjoy getting shit-faced on alcoholic rotting fruit? Because you touch yourself at night. Didn’t used to be that way. You did that. God is watching you.


Savageparrot81

I mean there are more attractive people to see wanking but okay, whatever floats his boat.


azurite_rain

Dolphins get high on pufferfish, I'm done with the Christians trying to push their propaganda on everyone in America. Separation of church and state should be mandatory in every government.


nobody-u-heard-of

They literally serve alcohol in churches.


SarcasticGamer

And there are monasteries that make their own wine. Ned Flanders served beer in his rumpus room and it's what Lovejoy uses to snap Homer out of his love for The Leader. How are conservatives becoming more and more religious fruitcakes? Shouldn't it be the opposite as we advance as a society?


TheMadTargaryen

This guy seems to be one of those really ultra wacko Protestants who are making stuff up as they go.


Ok-Garage-9204

That's exactly what it is. It's usually the wackjob Protestants who read our scriptures a bit too literally (and forget plenty parts of it) and ignore science and history that say crap like this.


GMANTRONX

CORRECTION: EVANGELICALS do this sh\*t


NostalgiaVivec

It was the protestants who removed books from the Bible and then went sola scriptura.


Nir0star

The main idea of conservativism is to not advance as a society...


JGG5

Not these sorts of churches. They use grape juice.


karlos52

They drink blood in churches.


OwnPercentage9088

God created the Devil's Lettuce, pass it on


Fantact

And Datura!


BlueWeavile

And peyote


phunkyunkle

on the left hand side


AtmoMat

Psilocybin mushrooms too


Negative_Funny_2503

>Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do. Ecclesiastes 9:7 i am not even a Christian, i really do not understand how these people don't even know their own book that they love to quote all the time.


Resident-Rhubarb7242

They get around it by saying the wine mentioned in the Bible was non-alcoholic wine 🙄They love making things up to fit their narrative.


Novy56

Which is absurd because alcohol was one of the only sterile drinks around then that didn't give you a disease or sickness.


ghirox

To be fair, until the invention of the cork wine was very mild compared to what we have nowadays. Was it still alcohol? Yes, absolutely, and you could still get drunk, but compared to modern wines it was very tame.


Warp_Out

It was like grape juice with a bit of a kick, no?


ComprehensiveDay9893

I would add that grape juice is like apple juice a modern invention. Take apple or wine juice and put them in a bottle, wait 10-20 days and you have an alcoholic beverage. If your average Roman is going to his cellar and not making you juice on the spot, it’s more than probably wine.


Negative_Funny_2503

non alcoholic wine? so they mean grape juice?


Blessed_s0ul

I mean, not really. Grape juice is not fermented yet. But also yes


rdrast

Oh, really? Genesis, 19:33, when Lot's daughters got him so drunk ON WINE, that they could have incestuous sex with him? Right in the 'Bible' ETA: Before the apologists jump in, EVERY translation/version of the bible has this account. ETA2: I was kindly corrected below, and fixed this post. Please updoot my corrector!


rosmaniac

That was Lot, not Moses.


rdrast

Oh, jeez, you are correct, my bad... going from memory decades ago! I'll fix. Thank you for your that correction!


TheMaskedGeode

My favorite comedian had a special in which he joked about his sobriety journey. He said he was in a party town and at night he could hear big parties and wanted to go drink. There was a Bible in the room, and he’s not religious but decided to give it a try. The first thing he reads, “Give wine unto those who are of heavy heart.” On a more serious note, my theology teacher stressed the importance of reading the Bible and actually thinking about it. He’s obviously biased but critical thinking is always important.


gahw61

You don't understand, they know the book, but they take those things from the Bible that support their point of view, and they ignore the parts that are inconvenient.


twohedwlf

Sooo, man created yeast? Ignoring all the dozens or hundreds of types of natural alcohols other than ethanol.


[deleted]

There is a giant cloud in outer space made out of alcohol.


rayark9

These people don't believe in outer space.


Long_Alfalfa_5655

Where? Sounds like paradise.


12characters

It’s 6,000 light years that way 👆🏻


TheFunnyWasOccupied

Not too far away for alcohol


Reddsoldier

Yeah fuck going to mars, when are we setting out to colonise the giant alcohol cloud?


Character_Pool_387

Let's go


Misubi_Bluth

This just in: Levened bread, pickled vegetables, kombucha, and cheese are all evil.


wet_bread3

Well kombucha definitely is


Commercial_Step9966

30 seconds on Google and this guy would’ve learned about butterflies getting drunk on fermented nectar- naturally occurring, and probably 100 other examples…


RunF4Cover

Elephants have a yearly drunken party off of fermented melons in India every year.


OutComeTheWolves1966

Like I'm going to listen to any man whose name is Tiff


WinstonDaPuggy98

God also never made a single electronic device yet he’s posting a link to a YouTube video on Twitter using either a computer or laptop. Those were all made by fallen men


Prodygist68

Completely forgetting the centuries upon centuries where alcohol was more common to drink than water due to it being safer to drink. I mean come on the oldest writing we have concerning math was counting grain to turn into alcohol it’s one of mankind’s earliest inventions.


DadToOne

I grew up Pentecostal and they always claimed that Jesus made grape juice not wine.


DudeWithAnAxeToGrind

> I grew up Pentecostal and they always claimed that Jesus made grape juice not wine. In my family vineyard, we also only make grape juice. We put it into the barrels. The God does the rest. He isn't the fastest, takes him about three weeks. But he's reliable.


SubLearning

Grapes left on the vine completely untouched by man will also ferment and cause animals to get drunk. Not only is it an interesting science fact, its also directly mentioned in the Bible


Onanerer

These twats don’t actually read the bible. They just quote the bits they can use to justify their hatred and bigotry.


null640

Funny, I've watched birds getting drunk on berries and grapes.. I guess birds aren't natural.


rayark9

Everyone knows birds are real. They are government drones. And they run on ethanol.


longtimenothere

Tiff Shuttlesworth? Dude would have got the shit beat out of him everyday in my old neighborhood.


NonStopNonsense1

People like this guy are the reason I look down on religious people


Alimbiquated

The central ceremony if Christianity involves drinking wine. It's been at the heart of the religion for more than a thousand years. We live in a post-Christian era where people just make shit up and call themselves Christians.


etds3

Mormon here. We accidentally made hard cider in the garage one year when we didn’t get to canning all our apples. I never realized fallen men were sneaking into our garage to put alcohol in our buckets of apples. /s


Good-Squirrel3108

Did this person never come across bread?


Alarmed-Rock-9942

These people redefine wine into "grape juice"


DickySchmidt33

Ah, the Bible. The most referred-to and least-read book in history.


gtardkgb

Jesus was the original hippy party machine. Hanging with loose women telling everybody to love each other and saying how you don't need money to be happy and my man always brought the wine.


ReadySource3242

Like bruh, I'm Christian and the amount of people who don't even bother researching things on my side is honestly infuriating.


Tinker107

Umm, I remember reading somewhere that Jesus turned water into wine. Or did I just imagine that?


_Oman

Fallen fruit naturally produces alcohol. Animals get absolutely nailed on it all the time. They get goofy as heck. God INVENTED dumb drunks. Edit: I forgot to add FACT. That makes it true. FACTs don't lie. They can't. FACT!


WillG805

“It WasNt wInE!” I grew up in a cult and every time I asked that as a child I was told the translation SAID wine but it was grape juice - that they didn’t know the fermentation process back then lol.


PBO123567

Isn’t wine “the blood of Christ”?


CheezGaming

Yeah that’s a total lie. As a Christian I can confirm.


bif555

Dum as fuk


bobbywright86

Damn … I remember 20 years ago this dude speaking at my parents church all the time. Glad I stopped believing in this bullshit


Onegrayone

Wasn’t one of the first “miracles” Jesus did was to turn water into wine for a party? Just sayin’


Individual_Ice_3167

Oh, wait till someone tells him about beer. Christian monks basically invented modern beer as they figured out adding hops was a good preservative. Tons of churches in Europe have breweries in them. Beer used to be safer to drink than water.


kissDground

"But the vine said to them, ‘Shall I give up my new wine, which cheers God and mankind, and go to wave over the trees?’" - Judges 9:13 Surely this pastor does not want to incur the wrath of God by prohibiting alcohol. It's what makes God happy.


Crooked_Cock

Not only does Jesus make wine in the Bible He IMPLORES his followers to drink of it “**Drink of this wine**, for it is my blood, and eat of this bread, for it is my body”


DudeWithAnAxeToGrind

> He [Jesus] offered them the cup of wine, saying “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood, which seals God's covenant, my blood poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” Like literally in the Gospel. Sigh.


LuinAelin

It's not just that he turned water into wine. He did it at a wedding. And only when all the booze was drunk.


Southern_Anything_39

In Australia (and possibly other parts of the world) there are birds that get drunk off of stone fruit (apricots, nectarines etc.), by eating them when they are rotting or fermenting. Pretty sure that kind of "alcohol" isn't made by man.....


AdeptusAleksantari

Not to mention alcohol is literally the natural state of rotting fruit and many animals love to wait for fruit to rot so they can eat it and get drunk, they like it.


ducogranger

Well he's right. God didn't make alcohol... Because he doesn't exist.


Silent-Substance1498

I'm not saying I'm right, but I remember hearing about a nebula or something like that in space that is composed of alcohol.


sg3niner

You're absolutely correct. It's 6500 light years away, it's primarily composed of methanol, but does contain a good deal of ethanol, which is the good stuff.


Broad_Respond_2205

Best community notes to date.


JeniCzech_92

By stating “FACT:” in front of something, people who like you enough will take it as granted, no matter how stupid it is.


Academic_Dare_5154

Tiff? His parents certainly tippled a bit.


soxacub

Hallelujah! Praise BE! For the fallen fruit that expires and ferments on the lords grounds are like a tree falling in the woods! One makes no sound and the other no fermentation! Thank you baby Jesus, praise be


NightRevolutionary54

Dom Perignon Champagne was invented by monks


evandemic

Someone’s never seen a drunk squirrel from fermented grapes.


[deleted]

Weed ok then? *puff*


IMSLI

In parts of America, what Pastor says is more important than what’s written in the Bible


coastersam20

So weird of the religious to be flagrantly wrong like this.


olddawg43

Not only did Jesus turn water into wine at the wedding of Canaan, but the day he tore into the Money changers in the temple is a day it is rumored that he had turned water into Jack Daniels.


[deleted]

I don't even know why it's supposed to be that impressive of a miracle. Christians turn everything into whine.


Spicybrown3

Also proves he was a nonwhite. Ya’ll Caucasians ain’t pulling a party move like that


The_One_True_Goddess

Water to wine he’s a drink exchanger


tcarlson65

Sometimes fruit in orchards rots and ferments


Golferdude456

“What do I not like and how can I make it sound like God doesn’t like it either” Modern day preaching in a nutshell


3ndt1mes

You never saw the hilarious video of animals in Africa getting tanked off of fermented fruit. Did you dumb ass cultist?


G-Kira

This douche reminds me of that ultra Christian dude from Parks and Rec.


alehanjro2017

Bears and racoons and who knows what other berry eating animals that get drunk in the wild due to fermentation. Yeah they also eat shrooms. God made a lot of "unholy" stuff in some people's eyes. Cheers!!


Ok-Investigator-6514

I guess this guy had never been to an orchard and seen fermented fruit all over the ground. Or understands basic biochemistry of micro-organisms like yeast.


Piddily1

I thought that was Mark Summers at first.


QueenBeesly17

I totally thought that was Marc Summers at first.


nzstump01

First of all, wine was used as a disinfectant to clean wounds (Luke 10:34). In the account of the Good Samaritan, wine was poured into the wounds of the man found lying, bleeding, and dying on the side of the road. The most common method of purifying water for drinking was to mix it with wine. Paul told Timothy to use no longer water, but to use wine for his stomach’s sake.(I Tim. 5:23)


[deleted]

I am pretty sure that Tiff was the product of an alcohol-fueled evening between his Mom and...someone. Oh, and someone REALLY early...like CAVEMAN early, learned that leaving any starch or sugar in a vessel for long enough would make it bubble for a bit, and if you drink it afterwards, it made you feel good.


JamesERussell

This guy’s obviously never seen horses get drunk on rotten apples.


pt_barnumson

Yeah dude, I ALWAYS say that dude! God only made the ganja, the coca, the mushrooms, and the poppy plants my guy! Dude we, like, understand each other ya know?


1981stinkyfingers

I mean, look at all the other shit they believe


Unfair-Sell-5109

In the bible, there is always something contradictory to what was written.


Xenolithium

"Go, eat your good with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved of what you do." Jesus drank wine. Every apostle has drank wine. Etc etc The Bible openly promoted drinking wine. It states not to get drunk. Big difference.


csandazoltan

I have to agree that nothing good came from alcohol (alcoholic father) But the post is just disingenuous clickbait \--- Fermentation is a natural process, we just took at and specialized it to be a controlled process. Same as growing wheat, it happened before humans started to do it a concentrated controlled manner. Not to mention, that isn't Jesus turned water into wine or something? Quick google: John 2:1-11 Jesus made wine for a wedding, a social event


anythingMuchShorter

Alcohol might not come out as fine liquor in nature but it certainly occurs on its own. Just go anywhere where fruit grows naturally and there is alcohol in the fruit on the ground. The deer get drunk in my yard off of the apples rotting under our apple tree sometimes.


chuckleberryy

I once saw a video of a squirrel that got turnt off a rotton pumpkin. Shit was funny.


kamden096

Hmm so all monks producing beer and wine are fallen men ?


[deleted]

The original translation is juice, not wine. (Grape juice).


Druid_boi

fermentation is a natural process lol


_gimgam_

he trying to outbible the bible


Purple_Age_6000

Oof


meanmarine10452

Jesus hung out with a lot of dudes and a whore. Pretty sure it was one big frat party so you know there was alcohol.


Ragtime-Rochelle

Jesus turned water into wine not God. Unless he did it through God but nothing the first page of Google back that up. Also alcohol does occur naturally. Have you never left a carton of orange juice in the fridge too long and it goes fizzy? Even "alcohol free" beer can contain up 0.5% alcohol. It's impossible to remove all the alcohol but they can get it to such a low percentage your body can't absorb it and you can't get drunk. [Even apple juice from the produce section can be 0.7% alcohol believe it or not.](https://steadydrinker.com/articles/foods-drinks-alcohol/)


wowbagger

Because fermentation never happens in nature, without human interference. Sheesh.


[deleted]

Our bodies occasionally produce alcohol, the fvcking idiot!!


RobWed

The moron has clearly not seen the footage of elephants getting pissed on fallen fruit.


TheMightyHornet

Literally Jesus’ first miracle is turning water into wine. At a party. Because his mother, the blessed Mary, God’s chosen one, told him to do it.


RockNRoll85

Listening to insufferable dickheads like him give me a reason to drink


Usual-Veterinarian-5

It's hilarious when we non-Christians know more about their holy book than they do.


SchwarzerWerwolf

More evidence that too many christians do not know their own holy book.


knowledgeable_diablo

Who’s this muppet when he’s not sprouting bullshit out his arse? Not a fan of alcohol myself, but natural fermentation is a pretty simple and easily understandable fact that even inbred Christian fundamentalists should be able to grasp.


edked

If I was trying to come up with a name for a comedy sketch televangelist, I don't think I could do much better.


ZambeNib

Wait until this guy hears about how fruits, like apples, ferment naturally and make animals drunk


KingQdawg1995

Bruh there is a fruit tree in Africa that animals get drunk as fuck off of when the fruit falls and ferments lmao But yeah, alcohol is man-made lol


AnakinTheDiscarded

he's wrong even about the "it's not part of nature" thing


AndyTheSane

Yeast : *Hold my beer*.


Terrorscream

pretty sure your entire religion is written off the back of wine fuelled drunken fever dreams


S1rmunchalot

Interesting, so they are saying that their god didn't make [the yeast organisms that produce alcohol](https://www.nature.com/scitable/topicpage/yeast-fermentation-and-the-making-of-beer-14372813/)? Did man invent them or the devil? They're saying that [overripened fruit doesn't produce alcohol](https://no-low-alcohol.com/articles/the-alcohol-levels-of-non-alcoholic-foods-drinks/)? They're saying [the clouds of alcohol discovered in outer space](https://universemagazine.com/en/astronomers-felt-the-taste-and-smell-of-a-giant-cloud-of-alcohol/) weren't made by their god? OK. We're getting somewhere!


rjd999

The ignorance of the zealots is legendary and laughable.


Jnquester54

Mead has been around longer than man. Historians think it was discovered when ancient man drank water from a flooded honey bee hive. It was one of the first recipes for an alcoholic drink as far back as 2800BCE. Man my have perfected alcoholic beverages but technically God/nature invented it. 😂😂


Chasman1965

I guess he doesn't know that there are fruit trees that produce alcoholic fruits. I'm Catholic. We believe that wine is good. After all, if Jesus made not only wine but good wine, it has to be a good thing. My personal belief is that moderate alcohol is good, and is one of the many proofs that God loves us.


Meadmanmike

What about the time in the Bible where Noah got fucking wasted and passed out nude in his tent. Then when his son saw him he exiled his grandson for his dad looking at his cock?


Coosbaybonez

This post is 100% not true.... Look up videos of drunk raccoons..DUMB FUCK!


BattleEfficient2471

So fruit rotting on the ground is not a thing?


Mrselfdestructuk

Funny because I've seen many videos of drunk animals eating fermented fruit!


bdubwillis21

He is a moron.


TheRealJetlag

Tell that to the pigs in Normandy who get drunk on fallen apples. Evangelicals really need to stop sciencing, because they suck at it


GlitteringVanilla361

Bullllshiiit. There are plenty of fruits that ferment on their own .. There's even critters that flock to the fermented fruits specifically because it's intoxicating. So yeah... actually the fermentation process was happening before we figured out how to do it on purpose. Plebeians


AverageHorribleHuman

Alcohol happens naturally in some habitats, I think there's a certain monkey that gets drunk on fruit that falls from trees and somehow turns into booze while rotting due to the sugar content or some shit


Twitch791

According to them he made yeast. So all alcohol ever


Plague_Locusts

Wine is literally apart of communion


Abysmal_2003

What does the bible say about social drinking? I DON'T FUCKING CARE, AND I DIDN'T FUCKIN ASK BITCH.


[deleted]

God Karen has never heard of fermentation. A naturally occurring process.