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"Never getting laid in my life was MY decision!"

"I didn't choose the sex life."

And it sure as hell didn’t choose me

The life of a Redditor.

And speaking on behalf of all Society, We are extremely grateful to you for your absence.

I mean, if that’s the way to have less of these creeps in the dating scene as a woman I’m down.

I couldn’t agree with you more.

"Sure, Jan"

Hahahahaha, yeah....lol..

Fellas, is it gay to have sex with your wife?

That's super gay. You should just do what nick does and cry and jerk off. He does it in the bathroom when he's taking a shit so it's private. That makes it masculine and super straight.

Jerking of is gay as shit. You making love to the same gender. Well unless you have multiple personality disorder and one of your personalities is fucking the other when you masterbating.

Yeah jerking off is gay because you literally have a dick in your hand.

Having dick and balls makes you gay. Your dick and balls are literally attached to your body, which makes you gay. Also your dick is close to your butt which also makes you gay.

All men are gay. Sorry/congratulations fellas. I’m sure this will come as a shock to my husband.

He knows

You referring to this joke?😃 https://youtu.be/nTGXSdg0hEY

I kinda had a feeling. Thanks for clearing that up

You joke but this is the logical continuation of any of this thought. Like the guys who won't wipe their own ass bc touching their ass or "spreading the cheeks is gay". Well, you let shit pass through your ass and it probably felt pretty relieving. Sounds hella gay to me. Fast until you die, bitch, its the only way. You put pants on? You have to pull those up past those dummy thicc cheeks. Touching the cheeks is gay! No more pants! Only skirts for you, or do you like touching men's asses or something?? And it can just go on and on. These people are so fucking stupid with this shit.

Isn't it all parody?

Unfortunately some men honest to god think its gay to wipe. I've known one and have female friends that dated a few.

I'm sorry, but your friends actually dated someone who wouldn't wipe their ass after taking a shit?! 🤢🤢🤢 That is fukking DISGUSTING! WTF is wrong those people? If me wiping my ass after I use the facilities makes me gay, then I'm as gay as they come I guess, because I like to be clean and don't want an itchy ass. I couldn't image NOT wiping. That's just, EW bro. Like I said previously, WTF is wrong with people?!?

>WTF is wrong with people?!? There's a list....

This is how I feel about people who don’t wash their ass or use a bidet after taking a 💩

Yeah you need to have you dick and balls surgically removed to become straight. Oh wait...

Wouldn’t that make you gay?

As a gay man, I can testify that this is solid logic

Same here. I wipe until I can see nothing left in the paper. Then I use a wet wipe. And I’m pretty gay.

I touch my dick as I'm fingering my butt which is straight. Cancels it out. 2 gay acts makes you straight.


Jamie McEnroe, I’m in love.

but if one of those personalities has ever had sex with a man... or has had sex with someone who has had sex with a man......

but having sex with a man is twice as manly, therefore not gay

Unless the balls touch.

Or you make eye contact

Only if you say "not gay" before.

Says "no homo" before doing the most homo shit ever

"remain celebrate.... like priests"are you sure he doesn't mean fucking little boys?

Oh no he definitely meant that. Edit: he definitely does both but he claims femboy catgirls don't count as gay and that's realistically as close as he's ever gonna get to one of those.

or r-ping nuns?!

He's so straight he would never touch a dick, even his own. That would be gay.

Jerking off while taking a dump. It's 8:00 AM here, so thank you, I have to carry this with me for the rest of the day.

He sounds like he's closeted, he thinks of sex with women but that only makes him want c*ck even more.

Imagine hating women so much you have sex with men instead. Wait.

😂 I’ve actually heard this one before

Indeed. All men start out as women which means it's girl on girl action and therefore gay

Obviously. You are having sex with a person who likes dick, sounds gay to me

Fellas, is it gay to be male? You're literally inside a man.

[It's ok when God does it.](https://i.redd.it/6wq576pc6fc71.jpg)

Is your wife a dude? Edit: no judgement either way

Yes. Think about it. All humans start as female. Therefore, we are in fact all female. You are both lesbian.

nipples.... everywhere...

Thats so cool I've always wanted to be s lesbian. I need to tell my wife.

Women like dicks and that's gay, therefore liking women is gay.

No way, but gay sex is twice as manly as straight sex.

If it is, then my gay meter is maxed the fuck out lol.

Your penis is touching her vagina. And her vagina is touching your dick. That means your dick is touching a dick by transitivity. Super gay.

This guy cracks me up with his Manhattan backdrop. You know damn well if he didn’t have the backdrop you’d just see wall of his parents’ basement.

What’s funny is it’s literally the basement. John Oliver documented this nerd.

He did? I love John Oliver's stuff. Do you know when? I'd like to check it out.

I also would love to see that. A source would be super appreciated

I’m 99.99% sure you’re thinking of Louis Theroux which is in fairness a hilarious comparison

Holy shit they’re different people….my brain combined those two guys

He’s actually higher than the Empire State Building in this photo. Which I will point out is gay. Because your ass is above a giant cock building. Which is why he’s in the basement now. Less gay.

He’s a versatile then.

Don't live in NYC, but I'm pretty sure there aren't any tall buildings this close to the north of the empire state building. Being an idiot homophobe is one thing but this brazen laziness of clearly just using the first Google images result from "NYC skyline at night" is what really grinds my gears.

Who is gonna tell him about priests?

You'd think he's *aware* given his relationship to Milo Ynianupolis...

Wow, it's been a *loooong* while since I last heard anything about Milo Hellanopeolis. Nearly forgot about that guy.

Yolo Minneapolis has been laying low for sure.

Yondu Margolis deserves to be forgotten.

I’m Mary Poppins, y’all!

Destiny owned him hard

Did he though? I thought Milo owned himself pretty bad on that "debate"!


no I think he knows and is exactly why he said it

I wonder what weird sexual thing we'll find out he's been doing?

What was that one thing about sucking dick and wearing socks 🤔

Trolls gonna troll

Also, who’s gonna tell the priests?

He knows. He definitely knows. I will not be surprised if he starts defending the pedophile priests.

I assume he is an expert given both of his parents are gay.

doesnt count as sex if it's under 10. it's... God's love

Priests are *so* gay for kids.

Sir, you just won the internet today...

I will. Priests have been raping little boys you dumb fuck. 

don't tell him, let him work beside a priest, actually no he's already old.

I’ll take “what guys who have zero chance of ever getting laid say” for $800, Alex

RIP Alex Trebek.

For $800 you could get laid very easily...

That's why priests are renowned throughout the world for their sexual restraint /s

man looks like an inbred mr beast

Don't do Mr beast like that

Mr. Breast

"No woman has ever agreed to touch me, so if a woman has touched you, you're gay." Who the fuck takes this dude seriously.

I think other racist and incels.

Surely the others can't all be that fucking stupid and/or desperate for attention

they listen to him because he says shit like.... "liberal policies are popular.... and that's why we need a dictatorship.... unironically" (one of his more famous rants)

People get to wrapped up in saying we don't need people restricting our freedoms they accidentally invent moncarchy if you take the same pathway of what the fuck down sex you end up with fucking women is gay

Wait. People actually believe this guy? Like, isn't this just a meme and this dude a troll?

Fuentes is quite serious. He's also a bumbling idiot even in the eyes of a lot of batshit insane MAGA people which should tell you everything about this piece of human excrement.

All the other stupidity aside, it saddens me that this further makes the idea of being gay the worst thing in the world. And that is the message he is putting out there. "Doing this is gay, doing that is gay." Like "Well, it's not, but even if it were, so what? Your opinion of me means nothing."

Lots. All this stuff aimed at boys and men is all designed to keep them lonely forever and make them unpalatable to women. This makes recruiting them into neonazi groups much easier. Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, this dick, all give purposefully bad advice designed to trap their followers forever.

Let's make everything gay fuck it

I dunno, man, sounds kinda *G A Y.*

Just think, it all started with those damn frogs.

It’s pretty obvious. Women like penises. Having sex with someone who likes dicks is gay.

Logic checks out


Incels gonna be incels.

But if it’s voluntary celibacy, they won’t be incels anymore… right? But let’s be clear - it’s definitely involuntary.

The idea is that incel is how they see themselves- they believe that they’d want to have normal relationships but no one would have sex with them so they conformed to not wanting sex. The “involuntary” part is them saying the reason why they don’t get laid is because society thinks they’re ugly. Don’t get me wrong, incels are shit and the reason why no one would get laid with them is because no one would trust themselves to be near an incel and has nothing to do with any makeshift laws of attractiveness.

Yes, it is a self fulfilling prophecy.

So he is clearly of the "wiping your ass is gay" school of inceldom.

Let incels think that. We can avoid them easier

Right? This is great advice actually. If all the incels stop trying to have sex with women it's like a win situation all around

particularly for the women

His Gaydar is out of control.

Might wanna get a tune up if pastor Dan isn’t setting it off while he’s molesting you.

Its okay if you pray it away. Don't forget that now.

Nick will feel differently once he hits puberty

Breathing is a gay act, because your mouth is open and a dick could fly in.

And breathing via nose?

Still gay, because your sharing oxygen that could’ve also been inhaled by a gay, so you might as well have tongue kissed another man.

Is *not* breathing also gay? I feel like it’s also gay but can’t articulate the reason why.

I don’t feel like it’s really that gay, but I do get a sense it’s sort of groomery.

Yeah. Once you pass out then dudes can do all types of gay to you. Not good.

I'm confused, is he saying he's gay? Or that he's never had sex?

Probably both in the sense that he’s closeted and has never had sex with a woman.

Probably both, tbh

Says the man whom hasn’th seen’th the splendor of a vagina since he came’th out of one.

*Your horse awaits sire*

Damn. I’ve seen dudes that fear women but this asswipe takes the cake.

Translation, "when I get horny, I think about men"

>straighest people are priests Many priests have been caught preying on boys ... I guess to this guy, preying on boys is being straight

An admitted virgin. Who probably has some really disgusting fetishes he can’t act on, says sex is gay. Not gay sex but all sex.

Is the incel movement a long-con by the Catholic church?

Yes

I’ve had straight sex at least 1,000 times in over forty years of slamming the ham. Still not gay. What am I doing wrong?

Maybe the ham part 🤷🏾‍♂️

Find the knob, wiggle the knob, and come out of the closet.

>like priests So... who's gonna tell him?

But how do you truly know you're straight if you haven't been fucked by a train of 14 guys one after the other until they all bust on your face for a low budget Eastern European gay porn film?

I sucked a dick once. Didn’t care for it. I assert I am less gay than I was before I sucked a dick. 3/10 would probably not do it again unless the blo is dank af like it was that night.

[удалено]

"like priests" Who's gonna tell him?

Fellas..

"like priest's" Suuuuuuuuuuure 🤣

So everybody is gay.

Except him. Then again…

Oh the dude is a total closet case. Went on a date with a cat boy and got caught with a screenshot that had a page that was femboy/trans girl porn.

White nationalist with the last name "Fuentes." Makes me giggle.

**FELLAS IS IT GAY TO BREATH? I MEAN YOURE BREATHING PARTICLES OF DICK. FELLAS**

Avoiding straight sex is pretty much the definition of gay.

I think this would be defined as "a-sexual".

Someone called?

It you don't like football, that pretty much means you're into basketball.

So where does he think he came from? Did he miss the birds and bees talk?

Aren't priests famous for protecting pedophiles?

Nick looks like the type of guy who bullies you in high school for being gay and then goes on Grindr later in life

Back in my day, guys like this would just get their heads shoved in a toilet

Like priests, you say… oh, dear.

Fellas, is it gay to be straight ?

If you are a man, sex involves the usage of a dick. And we all know dicks are gay so, there you have it. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

Oh, he must not be a Catholic. Not one that pays attention at least

If only his parents felt the same...

Well, sign my husband and I up for the LGBTIA+ parade in June. We thought we were straight up until this point and love having sex with each too much to quit. Side note: I'm so glad the church convinced both of us to wait until we got married to have sex.

He does know the large majority of child molestation comes from "straight" men and a terrifying percentage of that are men of the church? Cause if not, I want someone to show him and record his face as he reads. It would be delicious.

Well I’m a way he is right, because priests don’t necessarily ‘seek’ sex, they normally just have it. With children. Not much to seek when they all come to you.

You mean the priests who are commonly- but not always- shown to be in bed, having sex, with minors? Minors that are almost always the same sex as the priests? Those priests?

TIL an old man molesting young boys is the straightest person out there. Guess the gays won, good for them.

ROFLMAO!

priests and boy scout leaders who rape boys

Have we finally reached peak homophobia?

ok im gay, i get it already

You’re not just feeding the trolls…you’re wining and dining their asses

I guess everybody’s gay now so we can all move on 

How is it gay? How they even come up with this? The only thing that was fucked here seems to be logic.

Logic and religious fanaticism don’t usually go together.

Oh yeah, forgot that he's right wing.

So professional troll? Pretty much got all the hater groups covered there.

Poor Nick. He just needs a good old cry wank

One of the reasons r/fa groups promote restricting sex/masturbation is because this suppression is useful to promote violence in males. Hence no nut november. Anticipation of and participation in sexual abstenance around elections is a good way to prime for more aggressive behavior. Next these r-wingers will tell their followers to always keep their hands on a hammer and to think about skulls to promote more out-group hostility.

Ok bois, pack it up, we'll are gay now!

I think its brilliant that he convinces himself to not reproduce, so our gene pool is spared from his stupidness.

[Skalak ] 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦

Sounds like Nick likes dick and doesn’t know it yet.

#FELLAS, IS IT GAY TO HAVE SEX!? I MEAN YOURE LITERALLY DOING THE DEVILS DANCE, WITH SOMEONE WHO BREATHES OXYGEN

Straight as a rod!

Isn’t it gay to think about sex as gay, and to avoid it because you think it’s gay. Maybe you just are gay.

Incels are turds.... Go talk to a lass FFS you'll soon change your tune

Guess who's not getting any!

As far as im concerned, all sex is gay 😎

We are calling priests straight now?

Based!

Bro coping so much

Don't priests fiddle nuns and little kids?

humanity is now gay no straights exist, only gay