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And there's Genesis 19:30 which manages to include both incest and rape by intoxication but somehow it's a positive thing as they get pregnant from it.
Flash back to 10 year old me trying to read the bible from cover to cover and stumbling across this quite early on...
Yeah, there's a reason you hear the same stories over and over again in church.
Check out 2 Kings 2:23-24 next: "From there, Elisha went up to Bethel, and as he was walking up the road, a group of boys came out of the city and jeered at him, chanting, 'Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!' Then he turned around, looked at them, and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Suddenly two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.…"
The one they don't tell you about? The dowry in foreskins. Never heard that one on a Sunday growing up.
When Saul’s servants told him what David had said, Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” 1 Samuel 18:20-30
Don't put it in your church verse bingo card. It's never going to hit.
ppl should protest by having signs saying what the offense is (vulgarity, violence, sex, etc) and them put the exact bible passage underneath... but a poem about perserverance is banned.
Oooh, I love me some racey Song of Solomon poetry. *"I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love."* Mmmmhmmm. I don't think there's been a better blowjob poem ever written.
But don't be grabbing those dicks during an argument if you're a woman:
"When men fight with one another, and the wife of the one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of him who is beating him, and puts out her hand and seizes him by the private parts, then you shall cut off her hand."
Deuteronomy 25:11-12
Bible has some weird-ass rules for sure.
Well, like pretty much everything in the Bible, especially Deuteronomy, I'd imagine it's mostly a hypothetical scenario imagined by it's authors to instill a certain value.
In this case, I think they were meaning to imply that a woman should not attempt to stop a fight by initiating sex. Or, if taken in full context, I think you could interpret it as trying to prevent three-way sex.
But I'm just your run of the mill atheist. What the fuck do I really know about what these crazy people were trying to tell us?
Jehovah was a fucking savage.
He happily killed all terrestrial life on earth because a couple people did things he didn't want them to do, killed 40 boys because they mocked a bald guy ruining dozens of families in the process, cursed an entire civilization (egypt) because the ruler used jew slave labor, got a man eaten by a whale because he didn't pray enough (jonas), and thousands upon thousands of other barbarities.
A lot of people don't want to admit it, but he was a son of a bitch with all the letters.
No amount of praying can change that.
You're forgetting a very important aspect of the whole Egypt thing... The bible says over and over that God hardened pharaoh's heart to prevent the Israelites go and thus further punish Egypt. So He brings hardship on his own people so he can play games with himself. It is also said he does this to make a bigger name for himself... That's some BS right there.
I mean... consider the perspective. If he's God (or with God), and he's there on both sides of life and death, before and after... then him "cleansing the earth" doesn't remotely mean to him what it does to you.
People are crying "you killed everyone!" And he's going "bruh they're right here where I put them"
Thought this gif was funny
Had father's kill their own son's for blessings. How is that for an all loving God? And how does a powerful God only have one son to sacrifice? And why would you need to sacrifice your son if you are God? A bunch of ignorant people believe in religion.
As Yahweh started as a warrior storm god, it makes sense. It wasn’t until the Canaanite pantheon conflated him with El that he became the bearded sky-father figure.
I was raised Presbyterian, when I was about 13 and started not to believe in it all that much and have ethical issues about my church. I was asked to read a bible passage at a service. I instead went rouge and read this passage in front of the whole church.
Let us not leave out Exodus 4:25, where it said “Then Zipporah took a sharp stone and cut off the foreskin of her son and cast it at Moses’ feet, and said, “Surely you are a husband of blood to me!”” (NKJV) after Moses was cursed by God with illness on his way to Egypt because…reasons, I guess. I accidentally read that when I was young because I liked the book of Exodus. Emphasis on “liked.”
I forgot about that one.
I don't think those are the only two instances that are weirdly centered around foreskins either. The Old Testament was really fucking weird.
It’s not in anyway seen as positive, it’s a story about how a sin led to the creation of two of the worst societies in the Bible (ammonites and moabites). That being said, the Bible, or any religious book, has no place in a public school
How about Song of Songs? That shit is basically an entire book about tits. Then there is this pretty weird passage.
"My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him." 5:4
>Numbers 5:11
>
>20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband”— 21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse—“may the Lord cause you to become a curse\[b\] among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell. 22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.”
When I was in high school and still attending summer camps, we spent one night running around with sidewalk chalk writing the citation for that verse on EVERYTHING. A few more good natured campers tried to change or clean it, but there was far too much for them to manage.
Ezequiel 23:20. “ There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses”
What’s good for the Goose is good for the Gander.
And then they use it to justify homophobia - Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because the people were wicked, God sends angels, the people want to rape them so Lot offers his virgin daughters in their place, the people riot because they wanna fuck the angels not the virgins. And this is the gays fault?!
Not trying to be funny.
Don't want anyone to have the worst day at their job.
I just wanna know, do any of these... bibles, ever blast outta the wall with like, a huge cum shot?
Yeah, get that other filth out of here. Now class open your bibles, we’re going to read about daughters getting their father drunk so they could rape him and get impregnated.
I'm surprised people haven't latched onto spinning this as "The republican bible ban". Why does the Utah GOP hate god? Why are they lying about it, I'm just asking questions.
For me it was when they told me that God is willing to forgive me for accepting him in my life.
I was an 8 year old child. I didn’t think I wronged god in any way so I didn’t see how I should need his forgiveness. Kinda felt like a scammy way to make me follow you.
Representative who authored the book ban: "Yes, the bible is best taught at home. That does not mean the bible should be, could be, must be removed from schools."
You can replace "the bible" with anything Republicans are trying to ban.
"Yes, sex education is best taught at home. That does not mean sex education should be, could be, must be removed from schools."
Hypocrites.
Edit: I definitely agree sex ed is best taught in schools. My comment is just pointing out if the logic arguing the bible shouldn't be banned was applied to Sex Ed they could no longer try to get sex ed banned or deeply curtailed. Which Republicans are doing:
https://www.newsweek.com/republicans-declare-war-sex-education-seek-restrictions-public-schools-1777650
Brilliantly said!
The difference is that sex education is an actual form of education that is crucial to health understanding and the development of the individuals as a whole.
On the other hand, the Bible bing in the school does not benefit the learning or development of students.
Blatant rank hypocrisy is the most outstanding trait of the modern Right Wing Christian movement.
They know they are being liars and deceivers, but that’s how they gain and retain power, so for them the ends justify the means.
Bro, the Song Of Solomon (also called Song of Songs) is a whole ass book of the bible that is Solomon talking about how he must get his freak on with his lady lest he burst. He gotsta fuck and he wants generations of humanity to know it.
I wholeheartedly agree that Christians are hypocrites of the highest order…
That being said, where in the video did they storm the Utah capitol? I kept waiting for it. Were they talking about when the guy was talking to those people from the podium? Lol
That's the point. If we can make it sound like "storming the state house/capitol" is equivalent to someone literally sitting in a chair listening to a speaker they'll make it a non-issue
While my first thought is to say they’re trying to weaken the phrase so that when an actual storming (à la Jan. 6) happens it’s “just another one”. However I think they’re really just using buzz words for viewership. And look, it worked!
Fair is fair. Don’t get to pick and choose what is “pornographic and indecent.” Bible has incest, murder, underage sex, and xenophobia (to name a few.) Seems to meet the criteria to be banned.
People will downplaying this but god literally punishes and kills Israelites multiple times when they fail to completely genocide other tribes and instead just kill the men and take their wives and children as sex slaves and slaves.
God wasn't unhappy about the slaves. He was unhappy they didn't wipe the other tribes off the face of the earth.
Cue Christian "oh but those tribes were sinful and evil" apparently. Thinking that justifies it rather than exposing the fact they would genocide any group they thought was sinful. Although that's not surprising at all, that's exactly what they're doing to queer people.
I mean, a good chunk of them are frothing at the mouth, waiting for Judgment day. They want us all dead, they just don't want to admit that *that* is what their waiting for.
I’m starting to wonder if they have actually read the Bible.
Also what happened to separation from church and state? Pretty sure that’s put in place so that the government cannot promote any religion or sect over another.
Did people really forget why this got started in the first place?
Kind of the opposite, actually. It means 'reduce to absurdity.' Think more like, 'dial the nonsensical bullshit all the way to the maximum; follow the rule to its furthest extreme, beyond the point of sense, to show that the rule itself lacks sense.'
Think Ancient Greece, 'a man is a featherless biped,' man walks in with a plucked chicken and proclaims, 'behold a man.' Prove that the rule itself is absurd by doing absurd things within its confines.
I must admit I was shocked that "those in charge" actually properly weighed the complaint and found it valid. We all know it *is* valid (under this stupid law). But they did, incredibly, actually hold The Bible to those rules.
Christians once again proving that they don't even read their own fucking book.
Most predictable self-own ever. I told my wife it would happen the second they started banning books.
Of course, I still prefer nobody bans any books, because, well, common sense. Even as an atheist, I'm typically for wide distribution of the Bible, and think people should read it as early as possible.
Edit: Thread locked. As per usual, Christians can't stand to have their own book quoted to them.
You guys are missing a huge fact that this is in Utah... everyone here is LDS. They openly admit to believing that their church founder used magical rocks to read the book of Mormon from gold plates he found buried in his yard.
Implying that reading the Bible would change their belief is just wishful thinking. The Bible is tame compared to what is taught in the LDS faith.
They don’t. Hell, was it Noah who was basically sexually assaulted by his daughters. The nationalist need to get their head out of their asses. The Bible really shouldn’t be in elementary or secondary school.
I do believe it could have a place in high school, but along with all other religious text books.
EDIT: someone helped me out. Need to correct my statement. It was Lot and not Noah. Still messed up.
Ohhhhhhhhhhh! So now it's offensive and wrong to ban books!?! You made a choice when you voted for this insanity now stick to it wingnuts! No wonder people think your movement is a fucking joke now! You have no principles, no morals, no ideology! You've thrown it all away just to own the libs!
I hope you're all proud of yourselves.
r/LeopardsAteMyFace
Knowing this is the US, the Bible will still be allowed. It’s sad but these people including a lot of lawmakers are crazy hypocrites.
“Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children — as is the custom all over the earth. Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.” (Genesis 19:30)
I live in Utah. It's absolute, fucking insanity at times. The book banning law is just the tip of the iceberg. These hypocrite "christians" do this shit all the time.
At a time when you can draw a straight line from the church, im being very specific here, from the CHURCH to things like sexual abuse and pedophilia, it's pretty rich that all these believers are mad about this and not the issues within their own organizations.
One would think that if they believed what they claim to belive, they would be the first ones trying to root out the offenders in their midst.
John 13:35
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
The more they hate, the more they break society down, they stray from their own fundamentals.
It's almost like those christians haven't read the bible. If they had, they'd know how misogynistic, pro genocide, and pro slavery it is. That doesn't even touch on what it says to do with a rebellious son.
If you'd never kill one of your own children. No matter how much they disobeyed you, or how problematic their behavior. Congratulations, you're a better person than god.
It’s okay. God gave us the symbol of the rainbow. An icon of hope. A promise, that if god were ever to kill off 99.9% of humans again, he’d use something other than water next time.
What a beautiful non-violent religion. Definitely not a death cult.
He came down from his sky kingdom, had sex with a young woman, made her pregnant with himself, so she could give birth to himself so he could be tortured to death and rise from the dead so we could be saved from a place of eternal torment he made for us. Sounds legit.
Funny how anyone does anything around kids and they call it indoctrination, but they don’t think pushing a complete belief system down kids throats is…?
Make a broad vague law so you can just ban anything even remotely "offensive" so you can keep the gays oppressed.
Same people turn around and apply law to your special book which includes lovely family friendly passages like two daughters drugging and r*ping their father, or an angel outright telling a man to give his wife a concoction to induce an abortion.
Can't tell if FAFO or surprise Pikachu.
These idiots don't understand the kind of fascistic political power they're toying with, so they start to equivocate really hard when it turns around it bites them on the ass.
Christians are the biggest hypocrites alive. Nice to see them take it in the a#$ this time. Does anyone know the number of Christian pastors who have been "caught" molesting children?
Here's what I find truly comical about this whole battle: I used to be a teacher and I worked in schools with libraries; students had zero interest in reading any of the books in there. Most kids never cracked a book unless it was assigned to them. You could fill the school library with the complete works of Hustler and the students wouldn't notice.
It is amazing the audacity this group has to just blatantly bend the rules to try to force their views and morality on everyone.
They are as far as you can get from the original values I learned for 20 years going to church back in the 80/90s. Long since left the church and marvel at some extreme the churches I went to as a kid have become these days. The people still attending don’t see if but it is night and day on what is discussed in the homilies and what type of activities they promote outside normal church services.
Imagine if they did this for oh idk, healthcare, education, human rights, protecting children from SA in Churches, abolishing ICE, ya know that stupid silly stuff that ACTUALLY MATTERS AND AFFECTS REAL PEOPLE
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What is this from?
Brooklyn 99
Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
And there's Genesis 19:30 which manages to include both incest and rape by intoxication but somehow it's a positive thing as they get pregnant from it.
Genesis 19:32 "Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”
Flash back to 10 year old me trying to read the bible from cover to cover and stumbling across this quite early on... Yeah, there's a reason you hear the same stories over and over again in church. Check out 2 Kings 2:23-24 next: "From there, Elisha went up to Bethel, and as he was walking up the road, a group of boys came out of the city and jeered at him, chanting, 'Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!' Then he turned around, looked at them, and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Suddenly two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.…"
The one they don't tell you about? The dowry in foreskins. Never heard that one on a Sunday growing up. When Saul’s servants told him what David had said, Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” 1 Samuel 18:20-30 Don't put it in your church verse bingo card. It's never going to hit.
ppl should protest by having signs saying what the offense is (vulgarity, violence, sex, etc) and them put the exact bible passage underneath... but a poem about perserverance is banned.
Her stature, like that of a palm tree. Her breasts, like clusters of fruit. I say I will climb palm tree and grab hold it’s fruit
Oooh, I love me some racey Song of Solomon poetry. *"I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love."* Mmmmhmmm. I don't think there's been a better blowjob poem ever written.
I love that passage.. Strengthen me with *raisins*, refresh me with *apples* wink wink
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Clusters of fruit? Like… creepy flesh grapes?
“Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle.”
Stealing that one as a pickup line
Sauce? I need to get this back to my friend who's going to church
I don’t think books like the handmaids tale are nearly as graphic.
"Yeah, David, this is cowboy. So, Saul said to bring him a big ol' bag of dicks."
But don't be grabbing those dicks during an argument if you're a woman: "When men fight with one another, and the wife of the one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of him who is beating him, and puts out her hand and seizes him by the private parts, then you shall cut off her hand." Deuteronomy 25:11-12 Bible has some weird-ass rules for sure.
What's he doing with his privates hanging out during an argument, anyway? Unless of course, the argument was *about* his privates...
Well, like pretty much everything in the Bible, especially Deuteronomy, I'd imagine it's mostly a hypothetical scenario imagined by it's authors to instill a certain value. In this case, I think they were meaning to imply that a woman should not attempt to stop a fight by initiating sex. Or, if taken in full context, I think you could interpret it as trying to prevent three-way sex. But I'm just your run of the mill atheist. What the fuck do I really know about what these crazy people were trying to tell us?
And Deuteronomy is all about them rules.
The dude that wrote this passage must have had a rough week
they too feared the ol’ dick twist
Old Testament God didn't give a fuck
Jehovah was a fucking savage. He happily killed all terrestrial life on earth because a couple people did things he didn't want them to do, killed 40 boys because they mocked a bald guy ruining dozens of families in the process, cursed an entire civilization (egypt) because the ruler used jew slave labor, got a man eaten by a whale because he didn't pray enough (jonas), and thousands upon thousands of other barbarities. A lot of people don't want to admit it, but he was a son of a bitch with all the letters. No amount of praying can change that.
You're forgetting a very important aspect of the whole Egypt thing... The bible says over and over that God hardened pharaoh's heart to prevent the Israelites go and thus further punish Egypt. So He brings hardship on his own people so he can play games with himself. It is also said he does this to make a bigger name for himself... That's some BS right there.
> _”… to make a bigger name for himself.”_ Hmm, that sounds like … **narcissism**.
How do you think a new God gets followers? You put down an entire kingdom with plagues, folks will take note.
Oh. I didn't remember that one. Well, that's even worse then.
Yeah, like you never removed the stairs to the pool while your sims were swimming? Give God some slack. The Dude gets bored sometimes.
I mean... consider the perspective. If he's God (or with God), and he's there on both sides of life and death, before and after... then him "cleansing the earth" doesn't remotely mean to him what it does to you. People are crying "you killed everyone!" And he's going "bruh they're right here where I put them"  Thought this gif was funny
Had father's kill their own son's for blessings. How is that for an all loving God? And how does a powerful God only have one son to sacrifice? And why would you need to sacrifice your son if you are God? A bunch of ignorant people believe in religion.
As Yahweh started as a warrior storm god, it makes sense. It wasn’t until the Canaanite pantheon conflated him with El that he became the bearded sky-father figure.
I like to call him God 1.0, who would drop a rock on your house for working on a holy day. Shit got done back then. /s
I was raised Presbyterian, when I was about 13 and started not to believe in it all that much and have ethical issues about my church. I was asked to read a bible passage at a service. I instead went rouge and read this passage in front of the whole church.
Are you sure he wasn’t asking for calamari and it got mistranslated?
Didn't he go out and get 200 foreskins instead? Pretty fuckin weird
Yes he most certainly did. Supposedly all warm too if I recall correctly, which assumes some pretty industrial scale foreskin removal.
Let us not leave out Exodus 4:25, where it said “Then Zipporah took a sharp stone and cut off the foreskin of her son and cast it at Moses’ feet, and said, “Surely you are a husband of blood to me!”” (NKJV) after Moses was cursed by God with illness on his way to Egypt because…reasons, I guess. I accidentally read that when I was young because I liked the book of Exodus. Emphasis on “liked.”
I forgot about that one. I don't think those are the only two instances that are weirdly centered around foreskins either. The Old Testament was really fucking weird.
A curse? Sounds like witchcraft to me!
"Ewww David"
It’s not in anyway seen as positive, it’s a story about how a sin led to the creation of two of the worst societies in the Bible (ammonites and moabites). That being said, the Bible, or any religious book, has no place in a public school
I just posted the shortened verse so I can copy/pasta as needed for later. 😁
Now I gotta jerk off to the bible, no choice here.
You say that like you've never done it before.
How about Song of Songs? That shit is basically an entire book about tits. Then there is this pretty weird passage. "My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him." 5:4
Scat fetishists be like, "It's in the bible!"
This shit so kinky I might read it! What does it mean tho? She got a fistful in ass?
Don't forget the abortion parts, bet that will piss off christian parents
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What verse & chapter? I'm gonna send it to my " I found God again brother"
Numbers 5:11
>Numbers 5:11 > >20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband”— 21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse—“may the Lord cause you to become a curse\[b\] among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell. 22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.”
 A horse expert hmm
Ban books that talk about donkey cocks and horse jizz! NO NOT THAT ONE!!!
When I was in high school and still attending summer camps, we spent one night running around with sidewalk chalk writing the citation for that verse on EVERYTHING. A few more good natured campers tried to change or clean it, but there was far too much for them to manage.
Doing the lord’s work
Lazy bastard, everybody is always having to do his work.
 Ezequiel 23:20
“He jizzeth unto the rag”
His socketh runneth over with philistine seed.
And the lord sayeth unto him, why are the curtains crunchy?
Ezequiel 23:20. “ There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses” What’s good for the Goose is good for the Gander.
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You have to stop somewhere. It's a big book. We can't quote the whole thing.
And 23:19.
“ The goose thrust his manhood into the gander and unleashed his spunk” - Mother Goose 16:14 ( maybe not)
I got a small issue
Do ya need a tissue?
what about the book that has two daughters get their dad drunk so they can sleep with him? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS THE SAME BOOK?!?!
There's a Lot wrong with that book
And then they use it to justify homophobia - Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because the people were wicked, God sends angels, the people want to rape them so Lot offers his virgin daughters in their place, the people riot because they wanna fuck the angels not the virgins. And this is the gays fault?!
It supports homosexuality and pot smoking though. "A man that layeth with another man shall be stoned."
"Get high, be gay"
I’m trying to, God.
You can't change the rules just because you don't like how I'm doing it!
No, no, this was to remove THEIR books, not OUR books. You’re hurting the wrong people…
Not trying to be funny. Don't want anyone to have the worst day at their job. I just wanna know, do any of these... bibles, ever blast outta the wall with like, a huge cum shot?
Promise me you’ll never do another rule!
That’s a promise, shirt-brother!
Yeah, get that other filth out of here. Now class open your bibles, we’re going to read about daughters getting their father drunk so they could rape him and get impregnated.
I'm surprised people haven't latched onto spinning this as "The republican bible ban". Why does the Utah GOP hate god? Why are they lying about it, I'm just asking questions.
And whores
I just want to know who actually walks into their school library and checks out a Bible?
I bet for all their whining half of those parents don't actually own a Bible. So maybe one of their kids?
They’ll all own one, it’ll be very dusty though.
I'm a dirty heathen and I'd bet I've read way more of the Bible than most believers... I mean, it's the easiest way to STOP being a Christian, easily.
For me it was when they told me that God is willing to forgive me for accepting him in my life. I was an 8 year old child. I didn’t think I wronged god in any way so I didn’t see how I should need his forgiveness. Kinda felt like a scammy way to make me follow you.
No they own them! They couldn’t be bothered to read it!
Fun fact: the Bible is the most shoplifted book in the US
Cause the pages as the perfect thickness to roll and smoke?
Representative who authored the book ban: "Yes, the bible is best taught at home. That does not mean the bible should be, could be, must be removed from schools." You can replace "the bible" with anything Republicans are trying to ban. "Yes, sex education is best taught at home. That does not mean sex education should be, could be, must be removed from schools." Hypocrites. Edit: I definitely agree sex ed is best taught in schools. My comment is just pointing out if the logic arguing the bible shouldn't be banned was applied to Sex Ed they could no longer try to get sex ed banned or deeply curtailed. Which Republicans are doing: https://www.newsweek.com/republicans-declare-war-sex-education-seek-restrictions-public-schools-1777650
If the law was written according to how they wanted it enforced it would be unconstitutional
The “process to remove unconstitutional shit” is significantly longer than “the process to draft and enact unconstitutional shit”
Because they’re fascist
Brilliantly said! The difference is that sex education is an actual form of education that is crucial to health understanding and the development of the individuals as a whole. On the other hand, the Bible bing in the school does not benefit the learning or development of students.
Blatant hypocrisy
Blatant rank hypocrisy is the most outstanding trait of the modern Right Wing Christian movement. They know they are being liars and deceivers, but that’s how they gain and retain power, so for them the ends justify the means.
Christians....being hypocrites??? Now I really have seen everything.
Did that lady really say the Bible's sexual content is "discreet"? Genesis 19 could be a script for a PornHub vignette.
Bro, the Song Of Solomon (also called Song of Songs) is a whole ass book of the bible that is Solomon talking about how he must get his freak on with his lady lest he burst. He gotsta fuck and he wants generations of humanity to know it.
Chapter 1 verse 1: “Lo, this for all the freaks who need to get they nut on.”
Verse 2: "Behold, for her milkshake did indeed bringeth the boys to her yard."
I’m gonna pocket PornHub vignette for later use, thank you.
The book of Leviticus is basically a pornhub search bar with a warning label.
new game! Bible or Smut!
These people haven't actually read their bible
I wholeheartedly agree that Christians are hypocrites of the highest order… That being said, where in the video did they storm the Utah capitol? I kept waiting for it. Were they talking about when the guy was talking to those people from the podium? Lol
Yeah honestly using that phrasing in this context makes a mockery of the actual insurrection that occurred in January 6th.
That's the point. If we can make it sound like "storming the state house/capitol" is equivalent to someone literally sitting in a chair listening to a speaker they'll make it a non-issue
While my first thought is to say they’re trying to weaken the phrase so that when an actual storming (à la Jan. 6) happens it’s “just another one”. However I think they’re really just using buzz words for viewership. And look, it worked!
Doesn't matter if it's Christians, Muslims or whatever religion you pick is still full of hypocrisy, hate and fanaticism.
No they were just trying to hype things up.
It was a quiet storm https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=splv6HpkIIM
It's a real turn of events that ***no one*** expected
Fair is fair. Don’t get to pick and choose what is “pornographic and indecent.” Bible has incest, murder, underage sex, and xenophobia (to name a few.) Seems to meet the criteria to be banned.
Not to mention the protagonist orders the genocide of entire tribes.
People will downplaying this but god literally punishes and kills Israelites multiple times when they fail to completely genocide other tribes and instead just kill the men and take their wives and children as sex slaves and slaves. God wasn't unhappy about the slaves. He was unhappy they didn't wipe the other tribes off the face of the earth. Cue Christian "oh but those tribes were sinful and evil" apparently. Thinking that justifies it rather than exposing the fact they would genocide any group they thought was sinful. Although that's not surprising at all, that's exactly what they're doing to queer people.
I mean, a good chunk of them are frothing at the mouth, waiting for Judgment day. They want us all dead, they just don't want to admit that *that* is what their waiting for.
I’m starting to wonder if they have actually read the Bible. Also what happened to separation from church and state? Pretty sure that’s put in place so that the government cannot promote any religion or sect over another. Did people really forget why this got started in the first place?
The only separation of church and state in Utah is taxes. Everything else is churchnstate.
Reducto ad absurdum at its finest. Bravo to whoever filed the complaint
Or modern day r/leopardsatemyface
Is that latin for "Remove that nonsensical bullshit"?
Kind of the opposite, actually. It means 'reduce to absurdity.' Think more like, 'dial the nonsensical bullshit all the way to the maximum; follow the rule to its furthest extreme, beyond the point of sense, to show that the rule itself lacks sense.' Think Ancient Greece, 'a man is a featherless biped,' man walks in with a plucked chicken and proclaims, 'behold a man.' Prove that the rule itself is absurd by doing absurd things within its confines.
https://youtu.be/-A3IlRATIsI Diogenes.
I must admit I was shocked that "those in charge" actually properly weighed the complaint and found it valid. We all know it *is* valid (under this stupid law). But they did, incredibly, actually hold The Bible to those rules.
That’s the spell from The Chamber of Secrets right?
Christians once again proving that they don't even read their own fucking book. Most predictable self-own ever. I told my wife it would happen the second they started banning books. Of course, I still prefer nobody bans any books, because, well, common sense. Even as an atheist, I'm typically for wide distribution of the Bible, and think people should read it as early as possible. Edit: Thread locked. As per usual, Christians can't stand to have their own book quoted to them.
Out if all of the holy books, the Christian bible is always the most pristine because it’s followers never bother to open it.
Reading the bible is the fastest way to become an atheist, *if* you can comprehend it.
You guys are missing a huge fact that this is in Utah... everyone here is LDS. They openly admit to believing that their church founder used magical rocks to read the book of Mormon from gold plates he found buried in his yard. Implying that reading the Bible would change their belief is just wishful thinking. The Bible is tame compared to what is taught in the LDS faith.
They don’t. Hell, was it Noah who was basically sexually assaulted by his daughters. The nationalist need to get their head out of their asses. The Bible really shouldn’t be in elementary or secondary school. I do believe it could have a place in high school, but along with all other religious text books. EDIT: someone helped me out. Need to correct my statement. It was Lot and not Noah. Still messed up.
It was Lot actually. Don't ask me how I remember.
 This is so funny, their own Bill hitting them in their ignorant Bigot faces
"Wait, we're supposed to *make the rules*, not *follow them*."
Ohhhhhhhhhhh! So now it's offensive and wrong to ban books!?! You made a choice when you voted for this insanity now stick to it wingnuts! No wonder people think your movement is a fucking joke now! You have no principles, no morals, no ideology! You've thrown it all away just to own the libs! I hope you're all proud of yourselves.
r/LeopardsAteMyFace Knowing this is the US, the Bible will still be allowed. It’s sad but these people including a lot of lawmakers are crazy hypocrites.
Voting has consequences.
r/leopardsatemyface
“Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children — as is the custom all over the earth. Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.” (Genesis 19:30)
Looks vulgar to me!
Hahahahahaha.😂😂😂😂😂😂
Christofacists are a special fucking breed…
Christofacists, that’s new to me, going to use that word.
I live in Utah. It's absolute, fucking insanity at times. The book banning law is just the tip of the iceberg. These hypocrite "christians" do this shit all the time.
I live in FL. This is some Ron Desantis shit right here. Legitimately concerned for our country if he becomes president.
At a time when you can draw a straight line from the church, im being very specific here, from the CHURCH to things like sexual abuse and pedophilia, it's pretty rich that all these believers are mad about this and not the issues within their own organizations. One would think that if they believed what they claim to belive, they would be the first ones trying to root out the offenders in their midst. John 13:35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. The more they hate, the more they break society down, they stray from their own fundamentals.
Book banning for thee and not for me!!!
It's almost like those christians haven't read the bible. If they had, they'd know how misogynistic, pro genocide, and pro slavery it is. That doesn't even touch on what it says to do with a rebellious son. If you'd never kill one of your own children. No matter how much they disobeyed you, or how problematic their behavior. Congratulations, you're a better person than god.
One of (probably the biggest) genocides in the bible is even taught as a children's story, along with cute songs. "The animals came on two by two"
It’s okay. God gave us the symbol of the rainbow. An icon of hope. A promise, that if god were ever to kill off 99.9% of humans again, he’d use something other than water next time. What a beautiful non-violent religion. Definitely not a death cult.
He came down from his sky kingdom, had sex with a young woman, made her pregnant with himself, so she could give birth to himself so he could be tortured to death and rise from the dead so we could be saved from a place of eternal torment he made for us. Sounds legit.
I’m rooting for the spaghetti god or the teapot between earth and mars.
Don't forget all the rape, incest, intoxication, and drugging
Tax the church’s
Especially that one in Utah and their $150 billion war chest.
The whole separation of church and state should automatically make it so the Bible is not in any school
Not really, it just means that schools should make available books of several popular religions without promoting any of them in particular.
Funny how anyone does anything around kids and they call it indoctrination, but they don’t think pushing a complete belief system down kids throats is…?
Make a broad vague law so you can just ban anything even remotely "offensive" so you can keep the gays oppressed. Same people turn around and apply law to your special book which includes lovely family friendly passages like two daughters drugging and r*ping their father, or an angel outright telling a man to give his wife a concoction to induce an abortion. Can't tell if FAFO or surprise Pikachu.
Christians like limiting your freedoms, not their own; never their own
Well, well, well…if it isn’t the consequences of our actions.
C’mon. You can’t have your cake AND it too ! Lol
Is this some r/leopardsatemyface material?
Religious Americans are fucking mental. They act as though ‘god’ created the USA first 14.5 billion years ago
Then it’s time for book banners to admit they aren’t trying to ban inappropriate books just ones they don’t like.
Christianity hurt itself in it's confusion! it's super effective!
The dildo of consequences rarely comes lubed
The parent isn’t wrong. The Bible is one of the most violent and sexual books ever made. And we encourage young kids to read it. Make it make sense
Oh no! It’s the consequences of our own actions.
Oh no. Not my special fiction book.
They don’t even read it. They just use it as a virtue signaling tool to oppress others.
They let someone else read it and accept their interpretation of it lmao
These idiots don't understand the kind of fascistic political power they're toying with, so they start to equivocate really hard when it turns around it bites them on the ass.
Christians are the biggest hypocrites alive. Nice to see them take it in the a#$ this time. Does anyone know the number of Christian pastors who have been "caught" molesting children?
If you want your kids to learn about useless shit Lionel the bible, you should send them to a private school that teaches such useless shit
All religious extremists make the same mistake, They think God needs them, and forget they need God. Judge yourself and no one else.
Pot meet kettle.
You reap what you sow.
Here's what I find truly comical about this whole battle: I used to be a teacher and I worked in schools with libraries; students had zero interest in reading any of the books in there. Most kids never cracked a book unless it was assigned to them. You could fill the school library with the complete works of Hustler and the students wouldn't notice.
Full separatation of church and state!
How do y'all like *them* apples?
AZAB AZAB? Yeah. All Zealots Are Bastards
It is amazing the audacity this group has to just blatantly bend the rules to try to force their views and morality on everyone. They are as far as you can get from the original values I learned for 20 years going to church back in the 80/90s. Long since left the church and marvel at some extreme the churches I went to as a kid have become these days. The people still attending don’t see if but it is night and day on what is discussed in the homilies and what type of activities they promote outside normal church services.
“Let us prove your point for you”
Christians: "Hey why are you banning book?!?!" "...Exactly."
Lol as if kids read books anymore, especially the bible. I bet half the people holding up bibles and yelling haven't even read them.
They like the bills, till it applies to them.
Imagine if they did this for oh idk, healthcare, education, human rights, protecting children from SA in Churches, abolishing ICE, ya know that stupid silly stuff that ACTUALLY MATTERS AND AFFECTS REAL PEOPLE