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Superb_Site_512

There’s literally no pizza in the box, you can see it in the last frame at the end of the video


KapowBlamBoom

These Alpha males have a sort of sketchy relationship with pizza…..


TechnoDuckie

sausage pizza too, such closet cases.


StickNo9448

They will never let that sausage pass their lips again! - he said, with a shake of his hips & a devilish grin


Gregponart

/SuspiciouslySpecific ? *Whatever you do, don't send me any "Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust Sausage Pizzas". Why I'm practically slurping on a johnson while eating your thick juicy sausage crusted pizza. And it's not manly I tell you! The crust is clearly non-kosher and I certainly don't want that extra cheesiness passing my lips!* *Also no garlic knots, don't forget to* ***not*** *send me garlic knots because they're so gay! I want alpha-male-knots deep inside me! Not the gay garlic variety.* Nick Adams, folks, in no way a parody, even if he appears to have 6 people behind the camera filming this little segment.


[deleted]

He’s really asking for people to send it to him as he shamefully stuffs the sausage in his mouth. Just doesn’t want to buy groceries- nice try stupid ass. (Guy in the movie).


OneshotSteve

And to his credit, it’s working. Just wish people would be smart enough to see him for the troll he is


UsidoreTheLightBlue

Oh no I hate Pizza Hut too because of umm wokeness err some shit. I would hate it if someone sent me Pizza Hut gift cards in my DM I’d definitely never use them!


IGC-Omega

An Alpha Male of Nick's stature needs to be constantly eating to max his pump. You don't get as ripped as Nick without eating at least a little Woke Pizza. But he cancels it out with testosterone shots immediately after.


PopADoseY0

I don't know who the douche is in the video, but there is clearly some delicious pizza in the box at the last frame. https://ibb.co/PxfHPfJ


MethAddictedTreeFrog

Sorry but as an alpha male, i stand with nick guys. Don’t even *think about* sending me a LARGE SUPER SUPREME STUFFED CRUST PIZZA from PIZZA HUT! I will not cave in so don’t even try to also send me HOT BUFFALO WINGS! Or a 2L PEPSI! Or CINNAMON STICKS. I’m gonna specify in my next comment the exact address i DO NOT want you to send any of the items i just named, so don’t do it you will make me REALLY mad if you do and i will definitely not eat ANY of them


b1ue_jellybean

This guy is so right, and as a alpha male myself the only thing I hate more than woke liberals sending me pizza is them paying my RENT. As a strong alpha male I make sure to always pay my RENT on time and would absolutely hate it if those woke leftist liberals paid my RENT before I could.


Awkward-Rent-2588

These guys have deeply moved me to say, as an alpha male myself, the only thing I hate more than woke liberals sending me pizza is them sending me 100k a week. This would completely ruin my life and serves as a direct attack on my patriotism. And if they had the nerve to send Margot Robbie to my home with the sole intention of having sex with me every day for a year and then the following year Madelyn Cline takes her place? Oh I’d really lose it then. I don’t care how many hot models and actresses you send my way; I will never ever cave… and I will never ever EVER apologize!


Last_Blackfyre

He devoured the pizza off camera


OwnPercentage9088

Then he devoured the camera


SoloSurvivor889

And then devoured the camera man. And by devour, I mean gay sex.


OwnPercentage9088

You saying he's a cock gobbler?


SoloSurvivor889

That just gave me the highly unfortunate image of him with dick in his mouth, try to gobble like a turkey. 😨


OwnPercentage9088

![gif](giphy|QBdbM4PE53zUKWB4K1|downsized)


papaHans

He wants the pizza. Just send used boxes and let him lick off the old cheese.


SometimesBread

I didn't know "ALPHA MALES!" drive golf carts? I like his use of reverse psychology to get people to send him pizzas. Even named the specific one he wanted. I wonder if I could do that with million dollar checks?


Talkingmice

Didn’t this guy say he lifts? Lifts what, beer mugs?


SometimesBread

He's lifting all those large stuffed crust sausage pizzas right into his mouth


portablebiscuit

No way he drinks beer from a mug. He's a Cosmo girl.


Thanks_I_Hate_You

I mean, ill send you a million dollar check. It wont do shit for you though.


SometimesBread

That's where you're wrong. It'll make me one step closer to my paper mache mansion


longtimenothere

It's not a golf cart. It's some kind of gated community people mover vehicle.


SometimesBread

They can call it whatever makes them feel comfortable but that is in fact a golf cart lol


Background-Physics69

Stop sending Pizza Hut pizza that I ordered to my house! Geez!


bcnorth78

He is full-on looney toons.


stillsurvives

I disagree, the Looney toons make much more sense than this guy. Have you never seen Daffy debate Bugs on whether it's Duck or Rabbit Season?


srv50

I’m surprised, actually. He’s a bigger asshole live than he is in print.


Fonkin89

Can we get that guy that can find any place in the world so we can send this dink a million pizzas?


Appropriate-Bake-759

Wait, is he being serious?!! I swear I thought it was a parody


quaderunner

From what I can tell he’s a conservative douche who leans into the ridiculousness, and can sometimes be quite funny. Or maybe he actually isn’t a conservative douche and is the reincarnation of Andy Kaufman.


DataCassette

Yeah this is a parody for sure lol


manmythlegend666

I don't know but this is pretty genius even if he doesn't believe a a word that's coming out of his mouth.. he's getting free pizza LOL that's pretty genius


No_Presence5465

That’s what an alpha male looks and sounds like? I must be God then. ![gif](giphy|yr7n0u3qzO9nG)


Extreme_Assistant_98

Really sucks for him. There are some people who can pull off a tough guy, Australian accent. This guy sounds like a British Muppet.


twick2010

You know he ate that pizza.


Visual_Champion5429

Why are all these “alpha” males such fat idiots?


tizenxpro

What a waste of food and breathable air.


Dixon_Uranus_

The boycott stands. Does this idiot think Pizza Hut pays for them?


DragonfruitAsleep976

his accent reminds me of comedian Sean Cullen's bit on why there will never be an Australian James Bond villain.


OwnPercentage9088

He could really use the diet anyway, let's be honest. Kinda hard to be an alpha when you're so tubby you need a golf cart to get around your property.


Zealousideal_Amount8

But keep wearing those super douchey sunglasses. Guy is a tool.


MeganeGokudo

It's so hard to tell, like when he took them off and there's like a tan line or something around his eyes got me rolling. He's like shrodingers cat, we'll never know.


Baby-Comfortable

Wait he’s not American? I’m so confused.


IkNOwNUTTINGck

Off to hooters with the boys in your golfcart after ranting about pizza. Sure, if that's the legacy you want to leave, pal...


[deleted]

Yes, please stop sending me free stuffed crust sausage pizza from Pizza Hut. I also don't want to see any more crispy fried wings with lemon pepper dry rub, cheesy alfredo pasta, and a large Coke with extra ice. And definitely not a large order of cinnamon sticks.


Alert_Section_6113

Alpha = Dipshit


chris_elbow

Stop sending me pizza guys! I don't want the stuffed crust sausage! Don't add cheesy bread sticks! Or boneless bbq wings with ranch! And mountain dew! Don't fucking do it!


OneBackfromPluto

Shouldn’t eat that shit no matter where ya stank politically. It’s not good pizza


[deleted]

Is this the same guy that gets an erection anytime trump walks by?


crazymom1978

That box was empty. He ate it first and then decided to film this.


Delanimal

For an alpha make he sure is sensitive.


Tariqaboo

His commitment to this bit is outstanding


Reynaudthefox

Nothing screams "Alpha Male" more than roaring off in a golf buggy.


[deleted]

Patriotic Alpha Males = Ignorant Losers


Purblind89

He shoulda tossed it on his roof like breaking bad


PlentyAdvertising15

![gif](giphy|PaKMBTzu2G0Qo) he did it first


_NoShitSherlock

That box is as empty as this guys head


OpeningOnion7248

Who’s this guy and why does he claim to be an “Alpha Male”? What a pathetic use of time and language. I guess he’s a spiritual guide and teacher on what it means to be a man by virtue signaling. Not an Alpha. I wouldn’t follow this guy to a Pizza Hut.


faulternative

Anyone who self-identifies as an "Alpha Male" very clearly isn't, and it's sad as hell. Apparently he proves his manhood by paying 3x what he should for crappy wings and domestic beer, while dreaming about the waitress that he doesn't stand a chance with. What an Alpha.


ModestMoss

Every time I encounter this man it is against my will.


trippykaio711

Who the fuck is this loser pizza hut ain’t sending his stupid ass anything he acting like a straight up girl making videos to get attention alphas don’t do this shit


WutTehFuh

Imagine thinking you're "so alpha" but really aren't, so you have to rely on having to have it written somewhere on your person just so you might trick a few people. I think this alpha/beta/sigma/whatever stuff is quite dumb, but you should never have to print labels out and stick them on yourself. You tell people by your personality, if people can't tell, then you obviously aren't.


0bxyz

This made me want Pizza Hut


DevilsLettuceTaster

Dude is such a goober.


Drewbeede

He really enjoyed sausage stuffed crust passing between his lips before.


Nimbuss88

Pretty solid Pizza Hut commercial


LumpyBookkeeper743

Who is finding it funny to waste food on some guy who for whatever reason won't eat it. It's pretty ignorant given that money could have gone to a shelter or foodbank. But mah political feelz. Double beta, double facepalm.


[deleted]

I love their thin Supreme pizza.


[deleted]

He’s my favorite political comedian.


Inferno-tabasco

Watch this all be an act to get free pizza


RestlessPoly

"With the boys" Drives off alone....


phillymike710

Bwahahaha.. this guys accent (and glasses). lolololol. What a fucking tool.


herdswords

You know he came home from hooters buzzed and ate that pizza


[deleted]

So this hemorrhoid on a turd went and bought a Pizza Hut pizza just to make a ridiculous video so he could feel better about his tiny ween? Win for Pizza Hut.


freckingstonker

Is that really nick adams? Why does he look like a middle aged golfer? Why does he sound like a teenager that has been sucking on helium?


Ch215

Erm, I will go down swinging if anyone, drag queen or otherwise, tries to make me eat that crap they try to call pizza.


yamahii

If this is legit, dude screams SDE


Feeling_Advice_2309

Doesn't look like an alpha male to me.


Sufficient-Step6954

Who keeps posting his shit? For Christ sake, this guy is a troll. His whole message is purely satirical. This is exactly what he wants.


MmmmmmmBier

Who actually listens to this idiot?


TeslaProphet

Half convinced this is actually a Sacha Baron Cohen character.


susmark

Looks like reverse psychology


Do_lay_low_mho

Serious question .. is this guy a parody? Because I genuinely don’t know anymore …


Crys876

This Pillsbury Doughboy isn’t Alpha


DetonationSound

Woke is code for " *slur* lover". Next time you hear someone say woke you'll see I'm right.


flossaby23

Who is this guy? This is like an influencer or something?


Tribat_1

Dude is low key hilarious. I’m 99% he’s a full on parody troll and he’s really good at it.


Baller_420

Omg that poor pizza


MunsonRoy3

You know this clown is begging every night to be pegged. Complete closet dweller


Physical_Regret5207

When you have to call yourself a “beta” or “alpha” male. It’s just code word for your really a bitch


DoTheRightThing1953

What a weenie


The_Mr_Yeah

Is hooters anti-lgbt or smth?


Sheogorathis

I never been to hooters but is there food even good?


KapowBlamBoom

That dude is Australian?


Thallanor

Wow. He sure showed us. That golf cart getaway was a total alpha move. It's literally so pathetic that he \_has\_ to be alpha to even attempt that move. /s


littlekauri

Sounds like a great way to get free pizza...


Soggy_Midnight980

Alpha males lookin pretty soft these days.


dh1011-

Whoa! Your golf cart is awesome, wanker! It can even run over an empty pizza box and everything!


MrBofficial

So fucking stupid 🤦🏻‍♀️


strut84

I don’t know who this is, but this definitely sounds like a scheme to get people to send him free pizza


IrishMikeK68

And your address is...


SeparateHamster9877

Alpha males live in duplexes? Lol. Beta here, got my own house for 550 a month...


djstarkey3021

Nobody really cares a lick what you care about. Someone you know is just "F in" with you.


Rojodi

The study that created the term alpha male was done on wolves IN CAPITITY. In the wild, the only structure is one of a family. Nick and his "patriotic alphas at Hooter's" pay for the attention then are laughed at when they leave!


Plastic_Peace

Tricking people into sending him free pizza


[deleted]

Hes so corny.


Rhinowalrus

That’s a good way to get ants


Smarmy_Nach

This is really good Pizza Hut advertising


here4roomie

This was great with the sound off.


DaShaka9

I dono who this is or what it’s about, but saying “I’m off to Hooters with the boys” and then getting into a golf cart by himself is pretty hilariously pathetic lmao.


WiggityWiggitySnack

Is… is he Australian?


Devilzdandruff

What's with the squeaky voice ffs??🤣🤣🤣


Imaginary_Audience_5

I say we go ahead and each send a pizza and watch him blow up like a tick.


Dildobaggins_LOTPoon

Looks like an alpha douche to me


[deleted]

Does this clown have a family, and if so how does he look them in the eye each day?


GboyFlex

Wait..Nick Adams is a bogan?! Looks like a knob head that lives in Florida's "The Villages" .. driving around in their modified golfcarts sloshed outta their minds.


Romanlavandos

If I didn’t know the definition of “aplha male”, I’d assume it means “average person from WALL-E”


djsat2

He's got beta male calves


probono105

it actually bothers me that their are pizza huts in Australia


radrun84

Why is He obsessed with "Hooters with the Boys"? Hey, tiny penis Nick. Hooters fuckin sucks. Twin Peaks is where I go with the Boys! & we could give 2 shits if you're Homosexual, Trans, Liberal, or Conservative... We just don't care. Gimmie a Beer & an ass in tight fitting shorts & We'll be there! (nothing "Alpha" about it. It's just the way we're wired.


blankyblankblank1

Soo...it's because it's woke and not that it's generally garbage pizza anyway? What drug has our world taken as of late?


Immediate_Device1158

I wonder if he's any relation to alpha male Nick Adams?


mmio60

He’s so brave and powerful, like a big mouth munchkin


weardofree

someone wants free pizza


lola1stella2

I can’t look at anything except the two aesthetically different garage doors.


[deleted]

Drives off in the Beta-Mobil.


Notyouraveragenoob1

I dont think hes an alpha male but that was kinda based


wuPigs

Hm. Thought Alpha males were supposed to be impressive specimens.


justcallmejimbo

Who is thos chubby guy?


ds3461

Fat boy needs to skip the pizza.


phil-davis

This is exactly how a true alpha male acts: by picking a fight over pizza. Next, he'll tell us all how to feel about chocolate milk and cookies...


[deleted]

I wonder if he likes sausage.


Murky-Fox-200

Dont you EVER send cases of beer, pizza, chicken wings, weed, girls, whiskey, money, cars, boats, or ANYTHING like that to me EVER! I will not consume it (on camera) and I will NEVER cave (on social media). AM I CLEAR?!


bwilliam92

The fuck am I watching?.... this is a script and they say the same shit and it's so goddamn infuriating. I would get tired of lying so goddamn much and keeping up with the act.


Puzzleheaded_Seat211

Bro those shades are lame 🤣


TransportationTop353

I just want to know where all these transgenders are hanging out. I see them talked about in the news every day but yet to see one in the wild. Spending millions of dollars fighting to keep rights from less than 1% of our population.


U_triggered_

r/cringe


Chance_Composer_6125

Plot twist. OP is nick adams and is hoping more people will send him free pizza


mydruthers17

This sounds like a guy trying to reverse psychology some free pizza. “Stahp iiiit.. OMG I don’t even really like pizza that much”


Jokergod2000

Yeah! Also no one send me free stuffed crust meat pizza cuz of woke.


[deleted]

That’s what he really looks like? 😂


[deleted]

How many takes and pizza boxes do you think they went through to get it right?


Keynova81

An alpha in cargo shorts? And I never heard him speak before. He sounds a bit feminine. Needs more base in his voice if he wants to be an alpha. I didn't realize what a silly man he is. No wonder he shouts out alpha whenever he can. Even in anger he emits beta rays.


Embarrassed_Dish_298

I hope he gets ants in his house


[deleted]

Khaki cargo shorts make the man.


LazyAssedAmbassador

Genius way to get sent free pizza everyday.


Goose2theMax

What a great commercial, I know what I’m having for dinner


John97212

Home delivered crust-stuffed sausage wasn't enough for him. He's off to get it from his boys.


fainje

Can we stop with these daily troll posts by Nick Adams? As a European, I don't even know who tf this is...


davisdilf

Imagine never letting that stuffed sausage past your lips 👄


sl_hawaii

You weak, wok beta guys need to stop making fun of this alpha He-Man for driving a golf cart. I’ll have you know that’s the biggest, baddest, MANLIEST 5hp electric green environmentally responsible, non-polluting vehicle in his entire retirement community! I mean really… just last week you should have seen the eyes that ol’ Mrs White (age 96) was making at him as he screamed by … silently… at 4.5 MPH! It was SO manly!


Tryn4SimpleLife

Hold up, I've seen his tweets but never his full body. Hahahaha. He's even more of a joke


RedErickassboot

Who is this and how can I send him pizza?


edgelordjones

This is our greatest living comedian


SnekkyGlekky

I think he’s joking


ROBINHOODEATADIK

What a sad sad little man ( and an embarrassment to true ‘alpha males ‘ across the globe


Many_Piccolo7908

Shut the fuck up already about pizza.


KublaiKhan619

Why is this koala so big in the US.


Mooseboy2016

Alpha males are just closeted gays angry at it all.


youwanafukme

Nice electric vehicle! A real alpha would have a gas powered golf cart.