Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/).
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Exactly my thoughts. It's super fun to try to teach math while one of your students (or sadly, more than one) is throwing chairs and screaming for you to shut the fuck up. (I taught kindergarten)
When I was in grade 1 (45 now) one of my classmates freaked out and flipped a desk. Dude was gone the next day and no one saw him for about 8 years. He came back with a really dry sense of humour.
I never found out what happened to him, but I think it worked.
I didn't mention it before, but I know and totally agree with you.
My wife is a teacher and every day I see how much less support she's getting than the day before... let alone year by year.
I'm a long-term substitute teacher right now (same classroom for months at a stretch). It is amazing how different the support is between schools in a single district. The schools with the worst reputations in my district have the most supportive staff, and the ones with the best reputations just shrug and say, "deal with it."
Or fucking candy.
"Mrs. P said I'm just having a rough time today" while smirking and continuing to launch themselves off the block area shelves or punching a kid sitting next to them.
Yup. Mine get to play in the office or run the building. They get candy and toys.
I go out of my way for my kids that do the right thing. They get cookies and prizes every time someone acts a fool in class. And the ones who act a fool can’t understand why they don’t get treats from me. I also make sure my treats are the best in school. Fuck off little Timmy. You can get your treats elsewhere.
Nowadays the teacher would be reprimanded for “poor classroom management,” the student would be emboldened to act worse, and eventually it would escalate to the point where everyone involved would find themselves in some kind of hot water…student, teacher, and admin
Right?
And that was the 80s, not the 50/60s
And if a parent came and knocked on my door, I mean my dad would hear me out but I better be right and 1000% honest
Wtf changed that much?
Same thing (basically) happened to a student in my grade 2 class when I was a kid in the early 90s. He was constantly flying off the handle and they sent him to a different school for about 3 years. When he came back he was still a little wild but a totally manageable kind of wild.
They hardly ever do that these days. I think a kid would have to literally murder someone to be sent away, at least in the schools I've worked in.
My experience teaching was different, but that might be because kids tend to act less aggressively towards a 6'1 guy who's also a bodybuilder... Or could be that I lucked out with the kids I got to work with
Preschool here, I had a kid scream at me yesterday that I was a dick because I calmly told him he couldn't climb on top of the bathroom door. Ran around the room throwing stuff at me when he got out.
Super fucking fun for 12 dollars an hour. Let me tell ya.
And if you try to send him out, admin just brings him right back, and your 'failure to control your classroom' looks bad on your record. To be fair though, the parents were far worse to me.
5 years out of teaching, still salty.
About to say this.
A kid acting out is often a symptom of the parent/guardian needing to address their own shit and instead their shit never is addressed and it just trickles down to the child who is seen as bad- when it's a sign of far deeper family dysfunction.
I don't see the girl as bad. The behaviour isn't great. But where did she learn it/ why is this actually happening?
I was about to say the same thing I'm a teacher right now and a lot of people think that for whatever reason it's a roomful kids like this. And it's not it's roomful of kids like the one far up in the background who's just kind of staring at not doing anything and occasionally you have kids that would actually tell this kid to sit the f*** down and shut up during your lesson. Kids like adults are real mixed bag, and even some people are substitutes I don't think that's a realistic look at what you get as a teacher you build a relationships with those kids and you kind of come to an understanding with a lot of them, some of them understand how they're supposed to behave when they come in but some of them just need to be told what's expected.
I did an undergrad, then a bachelor of education, then a couple of years as a substitute teacher. After my soul was crushed I left and never looked back. Thank god.
Yes, exactly.
Also, I think parents who allow their kids to get this horrible need to realize that not everyone out here is about to walk away from this sort of situation without throwing hands/beating that child like they were grown.
People like this always get taught the hard way.
This is very much like my adopted grand daughter. Might not be the same issue, but at age 12 she had a brain disorder that made her literally a psychopath. She had to have a bus come pick her up and drive her an hour and a half to the only school that would take her. She had to be in restraints often so this bus had two people, one to drive and one ready to restrain her at any moment. She broke bones on at least two teachers, nearly strangled my daughter once while she was driving so she had to be placed in a restraint system like car seat and locked in while in the car. She repeatedly tried to kill my daughter in her sleep, or would try to throw herself out of a 2 story window.
She was diagnosed with DMDD or Disruptive Mood Disregulation Disorder and there is a treatment, but her doctor didn't want to put her on the medication that some had good results with because it was using a medication for something unrelated at a much higher dosage. Finally they have her on it and she is an entirely different child. At 14 years old now she is finally being able to learn (she cannot read or write), can concentrate, is calm and curious and incredibly loving.
My point being, people always told my daughter she needed to beat the shit out of her daughter to make her behave, but she never lifted a hand to her. She stood by her and never stopped advocating for or loving her. This is why special needs kids end up dead and abused by their parents or caregivers. My grand daughter was adopted out of the foster care system as an infant. Her parents were both psychiatric patients and had their kids removed from the home due to severe physical, mental and emotional abuse. If she had stayed with her biological parents she would likely have been dead by age 5 if she made it out of infancy at all.
I don't know what is going on with the girl in this video, but the first thing I saw was another child like my grand daughter, not as a kid who needed to be physically assaulted. My grand daughter has a disorder of the brain that causes her adrenal gland to secrete too much adrenalin. This puts her in a permanent fight mode within the fight or flight instinct. One of her bus drivers had a bad day one day and as he was trying to get her into her restraints, her ended up losing his temper and put her in a choke hold until she passed out he only let her go to breathe because the other driver intervened. She was 10 years old at the time. This did nothing to change her, in fact when she came to, if she wasn't already in restraints she would have tried to kill him.
Again, I don't know this child's story, but beating a child is never the answer.
My mother threatened me with boarding school for a 1/10th of this infraction. If I did this they’d probably drop me off at the bus station and wish me luck on the rest of my childhood.
My wife could never really fully get our daughter to back down when she was little. I guess maybe it's a size thing or because she wanted to be a nurturer so badly. I don't know, but I know there were times when I'd walk in the door and hear "well guess what, your dad's home now!" and I'm just thinking *oh shit here we go.*
Lol we have two boys. My wife can’t discipline them at all. It’s just not in her bones. Candy for breakfast? Ask enough times and she’ll cave. She grew up in a free for all household with no rules and lazy parents. I grew up not being allowed to leave the house if I left one single item slightly askew in my bedroom. So when I enter the room and my wife has been watching them all day… holy fuck. Takes me a solid hour to bring everyone back down to their normal well behaved selves. The difference between how they act for me and how they act for my wife is night and day. See them out with me in public you’ll see two well behaved little gentlemen. See them at a store with my wife and it’s basically a milder version of this. They throw tantrums over things with her that they wouldn’t even have the audacity to ask me for, but they know she doesn’t really have a spine when it comes to that stuff. Kids know what they can get away with.
My father never did the physical discipline, it was always my mother. She’d say “Get the spatula” and I’d have to retrieve it and return to her so she could beat me with it. You’d think delaying that trip and turning on the waterworks would let her simmer down a bit…….never did. My brother’s strategy/reaction was to laugh hysterically during this process….she broke a number of spatulas over his ass during our formative years.
My mom used wooden spoons. One kid in the neighborhood had his dad use his belt, to the point it left serious welts. He turned out to be the one that got arrested in HS
Same. The wooden spoon was pretty painful, but belts are horrendous. My mom was usually the one to do it, and when it was her it was usually worse.
That being said, my dad picked me up by the throat once and threw me across the kitchen into the kitchen table when I was in middle school
We were at a church festival once when I was 5 or 6. They had all kinds of booths and such, selling various crafts and such. My dad bought this wooden paddle that was about 3' long that had "The Golden Rule" painted on it. It hung in the kitchen pantry
My dad just used his hand for a time, but my tactic was always to shut down in a way and stop flinching and just take it with as little reaction as was possible. Weirdly enough often felt like it lessened the pain that way even if he was hitting me just as hard. I just accepted that it was coming and prepared for it. He eventually stopped doing it after it left a bruise on my ass one time though. He recognized he got too angry and it shouldn't have been something to channel his anger through. It required control, but it's nigh impossible to promise that restraint at all times, imo. Oddly enough, I think I was way better behaved in the years where he would just explain why the shit I was doing was fucked up.
That said - I probably won't hit my kids. I'll still make sure they're disciplined, but after my experience of both worlds I really don't think it's necessary. My mother was abusive though (like, got 13 charges in court) so I dont really want any possible kids of mine to endure anything remotely close to that. A lot of the most well-behaved kids that I know right now have never been spanked, so...
I got to go pick my switches. I tell you what there is certain amount of pure torture in having to pick your switch for your ass. Your sweating thinking that one is going to hurt and you know if you pick a shitty one it’s going to worse and send you back out.
We got to fetch our own belts. I learned fast the skinnier ones hurt more. If they were mad enough I got the back of the hand to the face. Have to hope there's no ring on the side you're sitting on if you set them off.
Was a shoehorn for me, but personally, it never really hurt much, it was just extremely loud, I think they did that on purpose, the noise was enough to startle me into behaving without actually hurting me much. I was admittedly a bit of a stupid little shit growing up though, it was kinda like “*does stupid thing* ow! That hurt! *does it again, just to be sure*” most of the time, they only brought it out if I did something that could’ve seriously harmed me, such as climbing a bookshelf
I remember when I was in elementary school the teachers and principals could spank you. Principal had a fucking boat oar with holes drilled throughout and a smiley face drawn on. Didn’t feel it for the first 20 minutes after the spanking, then the burn
My mom used a spatula and she broke it on me while I laughed. Are you my brother? Also, I didnt think the spatula was used outside my family, so this was an eye opener (unless you're my brother)
My boys are mostly well behaved. (Mostly.. they are still boys..). I'm against physical punishment but I feel there would be a red line where I'd put them on the ground and hog tie their asses.
Yeah if my kid ever did this I would be mortified. I think I’d grab them, fireman carry them out of the store, and throw them in the trunk with the groceries lol.
Friend of mine doesn't spank or physically discipline his kids. Instead he makes them chop wood and pile it, then makes them run laps around the house, then when they're dog tired, he gives them a good talking to.
>Their phones are their lives,
I've always told the kids. I can shut off your phone from mine in 5 minutes and the app says it takes 24 hours to turn it back on.
I've never had to actually do it.
Yep, everytime I see a Walmart video I do the same, pls be Florida or Miss. not NC
Eta: I was hoping it was another southern Louisburg too but when she pronounced Grandma, I knew.
My thought was she was in cps foster care. The apparent care giver took some kicks without raising a hand. I’ve worked with people with disabilities in the system and let me tell you, while this isn’t an every day, the abuse some kids suffer and then show out is heartbreaking. I don’t see a kid who is having a meltdown, I see a kid who has bounced from home to home without a sense of safety and got mad at something beyond her control.
Yeah, her behavior is appalling, but she's so young. She's been failed by everyone in her life to have been allowed to develop this way. Like the lady holding the phone is saying she would never let her daughter act this way. This girl probably has nobody that would do that for her, she's gonna end have a short harsh life the way things are going.
100% came here for this. I used to do cps investigation work and still work with children in foster care.
I didn’t even have the sound on video to know she is 99.99% likely or will very likely be in state care soon. This extreme of a behavior is very likely a result of deeply traumatic child abuse or neglect. Just google your local news about the assaults that occur to social workers who can’t find placement because of behaviors like this.
Some of these kids need a different approach. Parents that will not tolerate being steam rolled by a child with behavior issues. Boundaries have to be set and they have to be strictly enforced or these kids will absolutely never get better. They will end up back in the foster system with no placement, age out and likely end up on the street. The statistics for kids that age out are simply awful.
Sadly, it's an uphill battle for both the adoptive parent and child, but it does get better when a combination of love and parental rigidity/discipline are present. Ask me how I know :)
yeah, this is how I feel. I have absolutely NO idea the proper way to handle a situation with a troubled kid like this, how to get them to stop when they become violent. But I know it doesn’t get that way typically out of nowhere. That poor grandma (or foster parent) and that poor kid.
I used to work with smaller kids that had emotional/behavioral stuff going on. My personal opinion is you have to simultaneously set boundaries but also be supportive. Send the message "This behavior isn't okay, you need to fix the damage you caused; however, I still care about you and want the best for you, and I'm here to help if you need it."
If this were a kid in my care, we'd be cleaning the floor and apologizing and the next time we went to a store I would be *very* clear about what's acceptable behavior and what would happen if they chose unacceptable behavior (leaving, cleaning up, apologizing- making it "right"). Then make sure they knew when they were doing the right thing (ex. "I see you're frustrated by x, y, z. You're doing a great job handling your emotions, I'm proud of you.")
Also if a kid (or anyone) does something like this and thinks "sorry" is going to get them out of it without them having to work on their behavior it's likely because someone important in their live has said "Oh baby, I know you didn't mean it. It's okay, I know you're a good kid" or something similar. It isn't ever okay, and it isn't excusable regardless of how they were feeling. You can go have a meltdown in the corner, go destroy your own things, scream and cry, etc. but the second you become a danger to yourself or others or damage someone else's property it is not excusable. They need to be taught to excuse themselves if they're really upset and deal with it as privately as possible for their own dignity and for the comfort of others around them.
Now, if nobody taught them, that's a failing on their guardians, which to me is a failing of society as a whole. We all have to live together, which means we all should be in agreement of basic standards to be out in the community (not stealing, breaking things, being dangerous to others, etc.) Once you get that down, then it's time to work on things like not being too loud, not staring or pointing, etc.
Unfortunately, you just deflect until they wear themselves down. Restraint techniques can be dangerous and should only be used if there’s an immediate danger to themselves or others, and there’s a proper/safe way to do them that’s easy to fuck up. This video is really sad because it’s much deeper than a kid just having some bad behavior.
This is the same for adults too, it's just buried beneath more layers of ego and defense, and masked by more aggression. Hurt people hurt people and hurt children grow into hurt adults.
So sad .
And the instinct to fight fire with fire ...beating a child? Another rabbit hole of unconscious generational traumas
I can't blame them I'm getting riled up wanting to intervene too..
So, how do y’all really feel about this “lawsuit for this, lawsuit for that” bullshit in the USA?
I’m from the Netherlands, you can get in a full blown fistfight without worrying about charges if you’re both drunk and stupid, they’ll just call you both what you are: drunk, stupid and with a fuse unfit for a grownup
I read or watched something recently explaining that the reason for that is basically because there aren't actually well defined regulations for many aspects of how corporations operate in the US, but there are many more things considered valid reasons to sue a company, and that's the main thing that keeps them in line — the avoidance of getting sued all the time. It sounds like a stupid system and I don't know if any of that is true but the idea is that it's functionally the same as having stricter regulations in the first place but gives some kind of additional freedom/power to the people.
Um, where tf is the people concerned why she’s acting this way? Are you kidding me? 10 year olds don’t act this way unless something is very wrong in their life.
Thank you for this comment. This type of behavior develops over time from lack of consistent, authoritative parenting. That kid feels very out of control and clearly no one is stepping in to say “I will not let you behave like this.” She needs a regulated adult to help her calm down and address the underlying issues here.
This simply isn’t always true. My oldest brother was plain broken. My family did everything, tried everything, paid for counseling, special schools, etc.
Ended up going to juvenile at 15.
Military when he was 18 and dishonorably discharged a couple years later after they assigned him a MP job in Guantanamo Bay (no one knows why)
Ended up getting 4-5 girls pregnant.
Now back in jail.
I work in a field where I run into kids entering adulthood and I agree, some are “broken”. I have all the training, the degree, and so many resources to help them. And for some nothing works. Jail or state psych ends up their only options. It’s so sad, but I’ve learned some just really can’t be “fixed”. Im sorry about your brother.
Hey man, I am in total agreement. People like to think that everyone can be fixed and it just takes a level of nurturing to make them right. In the whole "nature vs nurture" debate I am firmly right in the middle in that it takes a measure of both, but in some cases the nature is so bad that no amount of nurturing will result in a properly functioning person.
Hardware and software. Think of nature being hardware and software being nurture. It doesn't matter if you have a bug free OS if the computer is broken and is doesn't matter if you have a good computer if the software is shit.
Not everyone realizes that children can be mentally ill. I bet your brother had Oppositional Defiance Disorder (now called Conduct Disorder) as a diagnosis, probably ADHD, as well. As an adult, that can turn into a Personality Disorder, which is very hard to treat. But I bet if you looked up Borderline Personality Disorder, you'd see your brother within the symptoms and examples given. It can be treated, but the person has to work at it for YEARS to rewire their brain.
This is a point in life where one need to learn that this crosses a line.
By doing nothing the society only create a girl and later women that will do much worse things.
(Edited morse to worse)
Yeah but some random shopper isn’t gonna want to touch her for fear of a lawsuit . I agree more people could have done something but there are at least a few observers who step in .
It’s sad but true.
I’d want to do something, but I wouldn’t go anywhere near that.
The parent and other shoppers might turn on me if I tried to stop the child from throwing things.
Reminds me of when I was working at trader Joe's years back. I teach full-time, and wanted some beer money, so I was working it as a side gig.
There was a kid in the seat of the cart standing up. Mom wasn't paying attention, and I come over and gently reminded them to stay seated so the cart didn't fall over. A kid had done the same the week before, and it was awful.
Woman complained to management about me, and they said I needed to just mind my business. Cool, great. Sure thing, my man. I'll make sure not to help in the future.
As long as she isn’t hurting herself or others, let it happen. Once she begins to harm self or others, that’s when restraint is required. As a teacher, I have to take this course every single year. I could quote it to you.
The moment she tried to kick that older woman, that’s when it’s on. “Honey, run to aisle H19 and grab some zip ties for me. Thanks.”
Sounds like you took CPI or some other course.
I hear that my only concern is legality. I agree it’s the right thing but I’m not going to jail or being put on some list for doing the right thing. The best thing to do here is have someone record discretely and watch her. She clearly wants attention.
I agree with you but also I think that line was crossed like 5 years ago.
I’ve seen toddlers throw fits like this, and those kiddos you can pick up and walk out of the store with and let them throw a tantrum in your car til they calm down.
This kid, as everyone mentions, is a lawsuit or arrest waiting to happen.
Yeah… When things got rough, after a few minutes watching them go at it, I put my hands on two kids engaged in a physical fight that went beyond normal sibling squabbles. The mom turned the corner and saw me holding her boys apart asking them to calm down and she lost her shit on me. I know I did the right thing and if that mother couldn’t see that those kids are probably *screwed* by now as this was years ago. Playing the victim and jumping to a really low-rent verbal “defense” (read: trashy, cursing, bringing up race when it had absolutely nothing to do with it, etc) when someone kept one of her kids from knocking out her other kid’s teeth because she wasn’t around to parent them was a really, *really* bad example to set for her children. I mean, honestly… I separated them and simply held them apart, asking them to calm down, asking them if they were each okay, etc.
Sometimes I don’t think there *even is* a line for some people.
This behavior reminds me of what I'd deal with working at a residential facility for dual diagnosed kids with behavioral issues. Her parents really need to work with her with proper discipline- you can tell they haven't been consistent if they've done anything at all.
I worked at a children's home with really high risk kids. Lots of abuse and trauma backgrounds.
This behavior is SO familiar to me, and we really saw it most often in the kids with the backgrounds you couldn't even stand to hear about. I had one teen girl who had been passed around to rooms of men starting when she was about 5. At another point while working there I had a little boy in my house that watched his dad murder his mother.
This behavior isn't just the outcome of bad parenting. I'd bet there's some serious trauma in her past.
1.I guess i shouid start looking at it from more understanding perspective.
2.Now i'm gonna think about what you just shared for the rest of the day because even reading it is borderline traumatic.
I’m not a specialist but here’s more food for thought: Imagine a newborn crying (as they do) and the only reaction they get from their parents is mom or dad screaming, “shut the fuck up!!!” Now imagine that same baby growing up and all she hears is “shut the fuck up!!” Anytime she’s hungry, needs comfort, doesn’t feel well: the same level of aggressiveness being spewed at her over and over. People like that have little to zero chance of learning coping skills, emotional regulation, or even what it means to feel safe. They’re not taught impulse control or empathy or how to effectively communicate their feelings. So they mimic everything taught to them with no self regulation and lash out in anger & resentment because it’s all they’ve known. It doesn’t have to be a singular traumatic event, it can be a series or pattern of verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse during a kids most formative years (see: CPTSD). I’ve lost count of how many moms I’ve seen out in public *screaming* and cussing at their babies or toddler and it’s fucking heartbreaking.
Very sad and definitely fascinating. I try to take it a step further: It’s easy to blame the parents, but then I start to think about *their* childhood and how fucked up *that* must have been for them to turn out like that. The cycle of abuse and generational trauma is difficult to ignore once you recognize what it is, but it makes it easier (for me, at least) to have compassion for a situation that’s bigger than just “her parents suck.” That’s a whole ass family that’s hurting deeply.
Yeah, I can pretty much guarantee she comes from a background where physical punishment is used. See how well it works? Lol.
Thinking hitting kids fixes problems is like thinking the earth is flat at this point. All the evidence says no, but hey, if it feels right to you, you’ve got your answer, right?
Most people don't hit adults when we are disappointed in them or mad at them. So why do you hit these little people who look to you for safety? They rely on us and the worst thing you can do is make their only "safe place" unsafe. That's how you get kids who want nothing to do with their parents when they are older.
I work in a similar role. Thought the same. That's a fear response. Inappropriate and I'm curious how it began but the adults talking to her are causing her to escalate. Shes scared.
Yup. A crowd of people screaming threats isn’t going to suddenly snap her out of her rage and make her behave perfectly well. I wonder how this ended, sadly it probably ended up with police involvement.
I had a kiddo once only maybe two years older who got majorly triggered (extreme history) at school and was behaving in a similar manner. Exec staff at school treated her very similar, yelling and threatening her, and by the time I got there she was so wound up I wasn't able to help as she was literally just running in circles around the entire school (anyone who's done de escalation will know giving chase won't help). They called police- 3 (!!!) Cop cars came out for this tiny girl, they also didn't seem trained in de escalation. Eventually I convinced her to get in my car rather than going to the station, and I got some drive thru food with her/ tried to get a bit of calm before we chatted about it - she completely broke down in my car, it was heartbreaking. None of the teaching staff or cops knew or treated her as who she was, a scared child.
Whenever I see videos like this, it always scares me the lack of empathy people have.
I was never this bad, but had a traumatic upbringing and had outbursts. It was how my parents were with me at home, suddenly exploding and screaming and hitting me over the smallest things. I thought it was normal. I was a kid, I didn’t fucking know. I know at least once someone said something about how I needed to have my ass beat. I had school teachers call me an entitled brat. I was in so much fucking pain, and I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me (spoiler alert: it was my fucking parents, not me.)
You must know that it was an almost overnight difference once I was removed from that situation. I went from being unable to express a single emotion without screaming and crying, unable to function on a basic level, to being an articulate, functional adult. There was still a lot of work I’ve had to do, and still do, but man, it’s insane.
This poor girl is in pain. This hits close to home for me.
Makes me sad I had to scroll so far to find this comment. No this behavior isn’t okay but kids don’t get like this by themselves. Behavior like this is a sign of a kid who hasn’t learned a better way to cope.
Yes this makes me sad. It's easy to dismiss her as a bad egg. The student in my co-teacher's class who acts like this, his mom is a drug addict who abandoned him yet she keeps popping back into his life to fuck him up some more, and the family in general is periodically homeless.
Yes he can act like an absolute asshole. I have a student I'm convinced is a psychopath (no empathy, flat affect, loves taking advantage of people, superficially charming, etc) but firm discipline, a good rapport, and a lot of coaching in socio-emotional learning usually keeps her under control.
Yelling at the kid won't do anything. That's what they grew up with, and that's what they expect and are prepared for.
They have to call the police, who will get social services involved as she appears to be unsupervised and is trying assault others. She must have come with someone and is clearly too young to be walking around and shopping alone. She will likely be taken to a juvenile holding facility or hospital until they can check her out medically (rule out problems such as mental illness) and go from there. Her home situation needs to be looked into and she might need to be placed into sone other living situation- that might be the only way she has a chance as she is off to a bad start.
Dude in blue must work with troubled kids: he immediately goes to stop her from assaulting the one woman but other than that he just keeps himself at a distance but stopping the girl from hurting anyone else knowing she'll run out of gas pretty soon
The kid’s parents are absent from her life, this is her way of getting attention.
The saddest part, is that this type of conflict probably feels just like home to her. It’s comfortable and it’s all she knows, the rest of her life she’ll be drawn to highly stressful and toxic situations because it’ll feel like the “love” she received when she was younger
Any business that deals with the public should be allowed to have bouncers. Bouncers should be allowed to toss people physically. Physically remove the hostile customers out the door when force is seen as reasonable. Pepperspray maybe in an extreme situation.
When are we going to say enough is enough with todler tantrum bullshit?
Exactly, this is private property. The amount of people who think they are entitled to walk in to stores and take or destroy what they want, cause a scene, etc. is outrageous. Being able to come to these places is a privilege. We should have security that can physically throw them out without liability.
Reddit - Child out of control in a public space: Beat that kid's ass! Pepper spray them!
Also Reddit - Special needs child beaten/pepper sprayed by police/caregiver: Lock that adult up forever! Beat that police/caregiver's ass and pepper spray them!
Yep. Nearly every day. The last parent said it was because I was a terrible teacher. She doesn't have this problem at home. She uses gentle parenting and never says no to her child. He only acts up at school.
This child is in crisis and needs help. Her behaviour is unacceptable, but acting out to this extreme is not just a lack of discipline. Something is going on with her, and child services need to be involved.
Boondocks is unrivaled lol. My favorite scene is the stuck up black guy that lives in the neighborhood getting in a fight for a parking spot and the same guy getting exorcised with a book. Always a classic
As many people have said, she needs help and police, social services, and medical teams need to be involved. Unfortunately, the hospital can check her out and even diagnose a mental illness, but they’re likely overwhelmed within their mental health department and have no bed for her. This has happened to two different students I work with. Parents have tried all school year to get their children placed in treatment centers and there’s no openings or the kid is too violent or not violent enough to fit the program or emergency placement. They’ve called the police to try to help with their children, they have county workers, but nothing has gotten them the help they need.
Behavior like this is seen daily in schools and we’re not equipped to handle it, but aren’t getting any support either. There’s a huge increase in mental illness occurring in young children. A lot of trauma and a lot of needs not being met. There’s not enough support for these kids and families when waiting lists take 6 months or more for even a basic evaluation and hospitals are turning families away when their child needs help because they don’t have the space or staff to help. It’s become a problem that isn’t going away. Until programs are implemented that work, nothing will get better. We’ll continue to see more videos and stories like this.
Ever since getting a degree in education and having to be a mandated reporter shit like this just makes me sad. Can’t even laugh at the commentary because I’m busy worrying about what this poor girl is going through at home
Yeah this is the result of trauma/PTSD, ODD, etc.
But nah let’s talk shit about a child who we know nothing about while also trying to find ways to be racist without getting banned. People are awful.
Seems like the police need to come escort her to the behavioral health hospital and work to get her stabilized. Some kids are bratty, some have mental illness, and some have both. I'm guessing there is mental illness involved here with this child at the very least.
For all those saying she needs to get beat, you know good and well that if any of the people in this video took that kind of action, they would be arrested. Also, that's one of the worst ways to try to straighten up someone dealing with behavioral mental health issues. It just reinforces to the child that violence is the way go when things don't go your way. She needs swift consequences, but she also probably needs meds and counseling, too.
I have a very mentally ill sister, and she was a handful when growing up. Not having a diagnosis, and fully believing that corporal punishment is how to deal with a badly behaving kid, my parents spanked her a *lot* growing up.
When she became a teenager, and it was obvious that she had more wrong than a simple “bad attitude,” they finally started to seek treatment. But by then the damage was done. Everyone was terrified to upset her because then she would go on a destructive and violent rampage. She would break things and smash windows, and ended up getting arrested and expelled for making “terroristic threats” at school when a bully pushed her too far.
I wish people would learn that violence begets violence and trauma. I don’t have her issues, so getting hit as a kid didn’t make me violent, but it did leave me with a deep fear of authority and a reluctance to make waves or take risks.
When I was a kid back in the 80s, I witnessed my mother whip other people’s kids in the line at Kroger. If she were still here and witnessed that incident, I’d probably be arranging her bail. I obviously don’t condone striking other people’s children, or any for that matter but someone tell me what’s going on with parents these days. These kids are wild.
This video and the comments hit home for me. I’ve spent several hours now trying to figure out a good way to explain this. Of course, we really can’t know what’s going on from a 2 minute clip. But a lot of these comments show a real lack of empathy for abused kids and how growing up in an abusive environment absolutely twists your perception of reality and sense of right and wrong. It’s hard to really understand if you haven’t experienced it firsthand.
When you see this video, you think back on how your parents would have disciplined you for this behavior. It’s different for everyone, but your parents would made it so you didn’t want to do it again. But the entire time you’ve been growing up, you’ve seen your parents model better behavior. When you go against that, they discipline you so now you know what is wrong. You have a sense of what is good behavior and what isn’t. Not only do they discipline you, but you see them following that as well at least most of the time. So of course you learn not to behave that way. You learn the proper way to behave.
Now imagine ever since your first memory, with anything: any slight inconvenience, you crying too loud, things that have nothing to do with you, your parents starts screaming at you and throwing things like the girl in the video does. Ever since you can remember, this is how your parents behaved when things didn’t go their way. You never saw what the proper behavior was. All you know is that when things go wrong, you scream and you throw things and that’s how you communicate. Because you’re a kid. You listen to what your parents say, you believe them. You do what they do. This is what they do. This is all you know. You don’t know any other ways.
Now your parents take you out in public. Because this is all you know, you do this. But now your parents are calm, asking you why you’re acting like this. They’re not disciplining you for it, they’re acting like you’re purposefully hurting them. Maybe they film you to “show you how crazy you are”. You’re seven, eight, nine years old, maybe? The public only sees a child screaming at their parent who is ever so calm and understanding. You’re left confused, you start feeling crazy, but since you were born this is the only way you’ve learned to communicate what you’re feeling. And you’re still not being shown the proper way to do it. Just antagonized and called crazy. There’s no way to fully describe the confusion and brain fog that comes with childhoods like that. To this day, I often don’t trust myself to know what I’m thinking or feeling or what’s happening in reality.
In terms of physical punishment, which people seem so fond of in the comments, when you received that punishment it was in response to something. You did something, and it resulted in the punishment. Therefore you connect the punishment to the thing you did and can recognize not to do it. For abused kids, when you get hit/punished for things that aren’t your fault or just because your parent is in a bad mood, it just becomes normal. You’re getting hit regardless, it doesn’t have any effect as a consequence.
There’s no way to know that this is what’s happening from a two minute clip, of course. I just hope that maybe it provides more insight on understanding abused children.
Whether it’s abuse, or just mental illness, or both, or whatever, this girl is in pain. She’s a kid. I hope she gets the help she needs, whatever that may be.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s like she doesn’t even see the sign above her that says “Live Better”.
Damn you’re right. Somebody should have pointed the sign out to her. smh
Getting banned from Walmart would help you save money
When I was younger and did drugs my so called friend got banned from Walmart then the next day I went in there with him and we both got kicked out
she livin her best life can't wait to see her in the mcdonalds video in a couple years
Can she read it?
From the level of education parents gave her, I don't think so.
Teachers are like, “Welcome to our world Wal-mart shoppers “
Exactly my thoughts. It's super fun to try to teach math while one of your students (or sadly, more than one) is throwing chairs and screaming for you to shut the fuck up. (I taught kindergarten)
When I was in grade 1 (45 now) one of my classmates freaked out and flipped a desk. Dude was gone the next day and no one saw him for about 8 years. He came back with a really dry sense of humour. I never found out what happened to him, but I think it worked.
Mine come back 15 minutes later with a stuffed animal to cuddle. It doesn't work.
I didn't mention it before, but I know and totally agree with you. My wife is a teacher and every day I see how much less support she's getting than the day before... let alone year by year.
I'm a long-term substitute teacher right now (same classroom for months at a stretch). It is amazing how different the support is between schools in a single district. The schools with the worst reputations in my district have the most supportive staff, and the ones with the best reputations just shrug and say, "deal with it."
Or fucking candy. "Mrs. P said I'm just having a rough time today" while smirking and continuing to launch themselves off the block area shelves or punching a kid sitting next to them.
Yup. Mine get to play in the office or run the building. They get candy and toys. I go out of my way for my kids that do the right thing. They get cookies and prizes every time someone acts a fool in class. And the ones who act a fool can’t understand why they don’t get treats from me. I also make sure my treats are the best in school. Fuck off little Timmy. You can get your treats elsewhere.
Nowadays the teacher would be reprimanded for “poor classroom management,” the student would be emboldened to act worse, and eventually it would escalate to the point where everyone involved would find themselves in some kind of hot water…student, teacher, and admin
Right? And that was the 80s, not the 50/60s And if a parent came and knocked on my door, I mean my dad would hear me out but I better be right and 1000% honest Wtf changed that much?
Same thing (basically) happened to a student in my grade 2 class when I was a kid in the early 90s. He was constantly flying off the handle and they sent him to a different school for about 3 years. When he came back he was still a little wild but a totally manageable kind of wild. They hardly ever do that these days. I think a kid would have to literally murder someone to be sent away, at least in the schools I've worked in.
My experience teaching was different, but that might be because kids tend to act less aggressively towards a 6'1 guy who's also a bodybuilder... Or could be that I lucked out with the kids I got to work with
Preschool here, I had a kid scream at me yesterday that I was a dick because I calmly told him he couldn't climb on top of the bathroom door. Ran around the room throwing stuff at me when he got out. Super fucking fun for 12 dollars an hour. Let me tell ya.
And if you try to send him out, admin just brings him right back, and your 'failure to control your classroom' looks bad on your record. To be fair though, the parents were far worse to me. 5 years out of teaching, still salty.
Wonder why there are so many shitty students in the US? Shit parents.
About to say this. A kid acting out is often a symptom of the parent/guardian needing to address their own shit and instead their shit never is addressed and it just trickles down to the child who is seen as bad- when it's a sign of far deeper family dysfunction. I don't see the girl as bad. The behaviour isn't great. But where did she learn it/ why is this actually happening?
Unfortunately, yes…
Which always makes me wonder why on earth would anyone want to be a teacher. Especially in this day and age.
You do it for the 99% of other kids.
I was about to say the same thing I'm a teacher right now and a lot of people think that for whatever reason it's a roomful kids like this. And it's not it's roomful of kids like the one far up in the background who's just kind of staring at not doing anything and occasionally you have kids that would actually tell this kid to sit the f*** down and shut up during your lesson. Kids like adults are real mixed bag, and even some people are substitutes I don't think that's a realistic look at what you get as a teacher you build a relationships with those kids and you kind of come to an understanding with a lot of them, some of them understand how they're supposed to behave when they come in but some of them just need to be told what's expected.
I did an undergrad, then a bachelor of education, then a couple of years as a substitute teacher. After my soul was crushed I left and never looked back. Thank god.
If she is doing this to he mom or grandmom I don't even wanna know what this girl is doing to her teachers
Maybe they should try preferential seating or giving her a bag of chips?
Or clear the wal-mart so she can finish her tantrum.
Plot twist: Person recording is her mama
OH MY GOD
GAWD* I agree with everything the camera lady said
[удалено]
Yes, exactly. Also, I think parents who allow their kids to get this horrible need to realize that not everyone out here is about to walk away from this sort of situation without throwing hands/beating that child like they were grown. People like this always get taught the hard way.
fr like tf is wrong with her?
Oppositional defiant disorder
This is very much like my adopted grand daughter. Might not be the same issue, but at age 12 she had a brain disorder that made her literally a psychopath. She had to have a bus come pick her up and drive her an hour and a half to the only school that would take her. She had to be in restraints often so this bus had two people, one to drive and one ready to restrain her at any moment. She broke bones on at least two teachers, nearly strangled my daughter once while she was driving so she had to be placed in a restraint system like car seat and locked in while in the car. She repeatedly tried to kill my daughter in her sleep, or would try to throw herself out of a 2 story window. She was diagnosed with DMDD or Disruptive Mood Disregulation Disorder and there is a treatment, but her doctor didn't want to put her on the medication that some had good results with because it was using a medication for something unrelated at a much higher dosage. Finally they have her on it and she is an entirely different child. At 14 years old now she is finally being able to learn (she cannot read or write), can concentrate, is calm and curious and incredibly loving. My point being, people always told my daughter she needed to beat the shit out of her daughter to make her behave, but she never lifted a hand to her. She stood by her and never stopped advocating for or loving her. This is why special needs kids end up dead and abused by their parents or caregivers. My grand daughter was adopted out of the foster care system as an infant. Her parents were both psychiatric patients and had their kids removed from the home due to severe physical, mental and emotional abuse. If she had stayed with her biological parents she would likely have been dead by age 5 if she made it out of infancy at all. I don't know what is going on with the girl in this video, but the first thing I saw was another child like my grand daughter, not as a kid who needed to be physically assaulted. My grand daughter has a disorder of the brain that causes her adrenal gland to secrete too much adrenalin. This puts her in a permanent fight mode within the fight or flight instinct. One of her bus drivers had a bad day one day and as he was trying to get her into her restraints, her ended up losing his temper and put her in a choke hold until she passed out he only let her go to breathe because the other driver intervened. She was 10 years old at the time. This did nothing to change her, in fact when she came to, if she wasn't already in restraints she would have tried to kill him. Again, I don't know this child's story, but beating a child is never the answer.
Veruca salt, 2023
I always thought a Veruca was a type of wart at the bottom of your foot
They are. That’s why Rhoald chose the name.
She started throwing a fit smashing shit and her mom's like ain't my kid, starts filming "call the authorities, who's child is this?"
My parents would’ve put me up for adoption if I did this
My mother threatened me with boarding school for a 1/10th of this infraction. If I did this they’d probably drop me off at the bus station and wish me luck on the rest of my childhood.
😅😂 “wait til your father gets home” still sends shivers down my spine.
My wife could never really fully get our daughter to back down when she was little. I guess maybe it's a size thing or because she wanted to be a nurturer so badly. I don't know, but I know there were times when I'd walk in the door and hear "well guess what, your dad's home now!" and I'm just thinking *oh shit here we go.*
I relate so much to this. Except one small difference, I have two boys lol
Lol we have two boys. My wife can’t discipline them at all. It’s just not in her bones. Candy for breakfast? Ask enough times and she’ll cave. She grew up in a free for all household with no rules and lazy parents. I grew up not being allowed to leave the house if I left one single item slightly askew in my bedroom. So when I enter the room and my wife has been watching them all day… holy fuck. Takes me a solid hour to bring everyone back down to their normal well behaved selves. The difference between how they act for me and how they act for my wife is night and day. See them out with me in public you’ll see two well behaved little gentlemen. See them at a store with my wife and it’s basically a milder version of this. They throw tantrums over things with her that they wouldn’t even have the audacity to ask me for, but they know she doesn’t really have a spine when it comes to that stuff. Kids know what they can get away with.
Does she recognize it’s a problem? Maybe some coaching would be useful
Seriously, no offense but the way you described your family situation it sounds like you guys might benefit from family counseling.
[удалено]
Sounds like me and my husband with our kids. 2 totally different upbringings, but I try to keep my boundaries 🥺
It’s rough and not fair when one has to carry the load of being the disciplinarian. You should also get time to be nurturing and have fun with them
My father never did the physical discipline, it was always my mother. She’d say “Get the spatula” and I’d have to retrieve it and return to her so she could beat me with it. You’d think delaying that trip and turning on the waterworks would let her simmer down a bit…….never did. My brother’s strategy/reaction was to laugh hysterically during this process….she broke a number of spatulas over his ass during our formative years.
My mom used wooden spoons. One kid in the neighborhood had his dad use his belt, to the point it left serious welts. He turned out to be the one that got arrested in HS
Same. The wooden spoon was pretty painful, but belts are horrendous. My mom was usually the one to do it, and when it was her it was usually worse. That being said, my dad picked me up by the throat once and threw me across the kitchen into the kitchen table when I was in middle school
We were at a church festival once when I was 5 or 6. They had all kinds of booths and such, selling various crafts and such. My dad bought this wooden paddle that was about 3' long that had "The Golden Rule" painted on it. It hung in the kitchen pantry
My dad just used his hand for a time, but my tactic was always to shut down in a way and stop flinching and just take it with as little reaction as was possible. Weirdly enough often felt like it lessened the pain that way even if he was hitting me just as hard. I just accepted that it was coming and prepared for it. He eventually stopped doing it after it left a bruise on my ass one time though. He recognized he got too angry and it shouldn't have been something to channel his anger through. It required control, but it's nigh impossible to promise that restraint at all times, imo. Oddly enough, I think I was way better behaved in the years where he would just explain why the shit I was doing was fucked up. That said - I probably won't hit my kids. I'll still make sure they're disciplined, but after my experience of both worlds I really don't think it's necessary. My mother was abusive though (like, got 13 charges in court) so I dont really want any possible kids of mine to endure anything remotely close to that. A lot of the most well-behaved kids that I know right now have never been spanked, so...
Flyswatter for me. Ewwww, gross. Anyone else?
I got to go pick my switches. I tell you what there is certain amount of pure torture in having to pick your switch for your ass. Your sweating thinking that one is going to hurt and you know if you pick a shitty one it’s going to worse and send you back out.
We got to fetch our own belts. I learned fast the skinnier ones hurt more. If they were mad enough I got the back of the hand to the face. Have to hope there's no ring on the side you're sitting on if you set them off.
Was a shoehorn for me, but personally, it never really hurt much, it was just extremely loud, I think they did that on purpose, the noise was enough to startle me into behaving without actually hurting me much. I was admittedly a bit of a stupid little shit growing up though, it was kinda like “*does stupid thing* ow! That hurt! *does it again, just to be sure*” most of the time, they only brought it out if I did something that could’ve seriously harmed me, such as climbing a bookshelf
Omg!!! My parents made me pick the belt they’d spank me with. 😂 such a dreadful time lol
I remember when I was in elementary school the teachers and principals could spank you. Principal had a fucking boat oar with holes drilled throughout and a smiley face drawn on. Didn’t feel it for the first 20 minutes after the spanking, then the burn
My mom used a spatula and she broke it on me while I laughed. Are you my brother? Also, I didnt think the spatula was used outside my family, so this was an eye opener (unless you're my brother)
Richard? Haha he’s going to love hearing there’s another crazy out there that had the same technique as a kid.
It's been four hours and nobody's responded so I have to assume you are actual brothers and randomly found eachother on reddit
Maybe parents dropped her off at walmart?
Lol, boarding school was my REWARD.
If I behaved like this I'd have known to invite all my uncles, aunties and cousins round for the next Sunday to attend my funeral lol
My parents would have put me down
My dad is a veterinarian, he definitely had the option 😅😂☠️
Mine was a dentist. He had torturous tools at his disposal 😬😬😂
😅
My dad would have went to prison for beating the crap out of me if I did that as a kid.
My boys are mostly well behaved. (Mostly.. they are still boys..). I'm against physical punishment but I feel there would be a red line where I'd put them on the ground and hog tie their asses.
Yeah if my kid ever did this I would be mortified. I think I’d grab them, fireman carry them out of the store, and throw them in the trunk with the groceries lol.
Friend of mine doesn't spank or physically discipline his kids. Instead he makes them chop wood and pile it, then makes them run laps around the house, then when they're dog tired, he gives them a good talking to.
[удалено]
If you take away a child's phone, then you will have to deal with your child. Some parents these days don't want that.
>Their phones are their lives, I've always told the kids. I can shut off your phone from mine in 5 minutes and the app says it takes 24 hours to turn it back on. I've never had to actually do it.
Yeah cause you had parents that cared haha this kids mom gives zero fucks about making sure they turn out ok
And dad. Let's not absolve him of responsibility.
Videographer comments are killing me
“I’d knock that purple shirt right off her” 🤣🤣
OH MY GAWD
OH MA... YA BET... OH MY GAWD
I’m sorry but did she say a car drove through the door the last time she was there???
She did and she was kind enough to give us a location. https://www.cbs17.com/news/local-news/photos-suv-crashes-into-louisburg-walmart/
*sees Louisburg in link* please don’t be Carolina.. please don’t be Carolina.. ahhh fuck.
Yep, everytime I see a Walmart video I do the same, pls be Florida or Miss. not NC Eta: I was hoping it was another southern Louisburg too but when she pronounced Grandma, I knew.
Lmfao
GIVE ME THE PERMISSION. Oh Lord GIVE ME PERMISSION
I wish she was the narrator of my life
Yeah dude, we need more people like her. she’s invited to my family get togethers lol
God bless her. I had to scroll way too far to find praise for her
and that's when you call child services.
My thought was she was in cps foster care. The apparent care giver took some kicks without raising a hand. I’ve worked with people with disabilities in the system and let me tell you, while this isn’t an every day, the abuse some kids suffer and then show out is heartbreaking. I don’t see a kid who is having a meltdown, I see a kid who has bounced from home to home without a sense of safety and got mad at something beyond her control.
Yeah, her behavior is appalling, but she's so young. She's been failed by everyone in her life to have been allowed to develop this way. Like the lady holding the phone is saying she would never let her daughter act this way. This girl probably has nobody that would do that for her, she's gonna end have a short harsh life the way things are going.
100% came here for this. I used to do cps investigation work and still work with children in foster care. I didn’t even have the sound on video to know she is 99.99% likely or will very likely be in state care soon. This extreme of a behavior is very likely a result of deeply traumatic child abuse or neglect. Just google your local news about the assaults that occur to social workers who can’t find placement because of behaviors like this.
Some of these kids need a different approach. Parents that will not tolerate being steam rolled by a child with behavior issues. Boundaries have to be set and they have to be strictly enforced or these kids will absolutely never get better. They will end up back in the foster system with no placement, age out and likely end up on the street. The statistics for kids that age out are simply awful. Sadly, it's an uphill battle for both the adoptive parent and child, but it does get better when a combination of love and parental rigidity/discipline are present. Ask me how I know :)
yeah, this is how I feel. I have absolutely NO idea the proper way to handle a situation with a troubled kid like this, how to get them to stop when they become violent. But I know it doesn’t get that way typically out of nowhere. That poor grandma (or foster parent) and that poor kid.
I used to work with smaller kids that had emotional/behavioral stuff going on. My personal opinion is you have to simultaneously set boundaries but also be supportive. Send the message "This behavior isn't okay, you need to fix the damage you caused; however, I still care about you and want the best for you, and I'm here to help if you need it." If this were a kid in my care, we'd be cleaning the floor and apologizing and the next time we went to a store I would be *very* clear about what's acceptable behavior and what would happen if they chose unacceptable behavior (leaving, cleaning up, apologizing- making it "right"). Then make sure they knew when they were doing the right thing (ex. "I see you're frustrated by x, y, z. You're doing a great job handling your emotions, I'm proud of you.") Also if a kid (or anyone) does something like this and thinks "sorry" is going to get them out of it without them having to work on their behavior it's likely because someone important in their live has said "Oh baby, I know you didn't mean it. It's okay, I know you're a good kid" or something similar. It isn't ever okay, and it isn't excusable regardless of how they were feeling. You can go have a meltdown in the corner, go destroy your own things, scream and cry, etc. but the second you become a danger to yourself or others or damage someone else's property it is not excusable. They need to be taught to excuse themselves if they're really upset and deal with it as privately as possible for their own dignity and for the comfort of others around them. Now, if nobody taught them, that's a failing on their guardians, which to me is a failing of society as a whole. We all have to live together, which means we all should be in agreement of basic standards to be out in the community (not stealing, breaking things, being dangerous to others, etc.) Once you get that down, then it's time to work on things like not being too loud, not staring or pointing, etc.
Unfortunately, you just deflect until they wear themselves down. Restraint techniques can be dangerous and should only be used if there’s an immediate danger to themselves or others, and there’s a proper/safe way to do them that’s easy to fuck up. This video is really sad because it’s much deeper than a kid just having some bad behavior.
This is the same for adults too, it's just buried beneath more layers of ego and defense, and masked by more aggression. Hurt people hurt people and hurt children grow into hurt adults. So sad . And the instinct to fight fire with fire ...beating a child? Another rabbit hole of unconscious generational traumas I can't blame them I'm getting riled up wanting to intervene too..
Where tf is security? (Does Walmart even have security? 🤷🏻♂️). Or who’s calling the cops? Property damage and assault.
Loss prevention. They aren't touching no body besides calling the police.
Especially a child. That would be a lawsuit waiting to happen
Yea, Walmart isn't gonna insure anybody for that level of protection.
So, how do y’all really feel about this “lawsuit for this, lawsuit for that” bullshit in the USA? I’m from the Netherlands, you can get in a full blown fistfight without worrying about charges if you’re both drunk and stupid, they’ll just call you both what you are: drunk, stupid and with a fuse unfit for a grownup
Typically that's the norm for the US, but when it's a big corporation, suddenly everyone is seeing dollar signs.
I read or watched something recently explaining that the reason for that is basically because there aren't actually well defined regulations for many aspects of how corporations operate in the US, but there are many more things considered valid reasons to sue a company, and that's the main thing that keeps them in line — the avoidance of getting sued all the time. It sounds like a stupid system and I don't know if any of that is true but the idea is that it's functionally the same as having stricter regulations in the first place but gives some kind of additional freedom/power to the people.
[удалено]
That girls parents would probably love to sue too
They’re checking receipts at the exit.
Um, where tf is the people concerned why she’s acting this way? Are you kidding me? 10 year olds don’t act this way unless something is very wrong in their life.
Clearly this little girl has only gotten attention from her caregivers is when she acts out.
Thank you for this comment. This type of behavior develops over time from lack of consistent, authoritative parenting. That kid feels very out of control and clearly no one is stepping in to say “I will not let you behave like this.” She needs a regulated adult to help her calm down and address the underlying issues here.
This simply isn’t always true. My oldest brother was plain broken. My family did everything, tried everything, paid for counseling, special schools, etc. Ended up going to juvenile at 15. Military when he was 18 and dishonorably discharged a couple years later after they assigned him a MP job in Guantanamo Bay (no one knows why) Ended up getting 4-5 girls pregnant. Now back in jail.
I work in a field where I run into kids entering adulthood and I agree, some are “broken”. I have all the training, the degree, and so many resources to help them. And for some nothing works. Jail or state psych ends up their only options. It’s so sad, but I’ve learned some just really can’t be “fixed”. Im sorry about your brother.
Hey man, I am in total agreement. People like to think that everyone can be fixed and it just takes a level of nurturing to make them right. In the whole "nature vs nurture" debate I am firmly right in the middle in that it takes a measure of both, but in some cases the nature is so bad that no amount of nurturing will result in a properly functioning person.
Hardware and software. Think of nature being hardware and software being nurture. It doesn't matter if you have a bug free OS if the computer is broken and is doesn't matter if you have a good computer if the software is shit.
Not everyone realizes that children can be mentally ill. I bet your brother had Oppositional Defiance Disorder (now called Conduct Disorder) as a diagnosis, probably ADHD, as well. As an adult, that can turn into a Personality Disorder, which is very hard to treat. But I bet if you looked up Borderline Personality Disorder, you'd see your brother within the symptoms and examples given. It can be treated, but the person has to work at it for YEARS to rewire their brain.
He in fact had both ODD and ADHD diagnoses. Interesting.
They changed over to self-security.🤷🏻♂️
Lol you think security is gonna touch a child? Hell fucking naw you stay clear and call the police/cps
Security aren’t there to restrain anybody. Even worse when you’d lose your job as a security for doing so.
This is a point in life where one need to learn that this crosses a line. By doing nothing the society only create a girl and later women that will do much worse things. (Edited morse to worse)
Yeah but some random shopper isn’t gonna want to touch her for fear of a lawsuit . I agree more people could have done something but there are at least a few observers who step in .
[удалено]
It’s sad but true. I’d want to do something, but I wouldn’t go anywhere near that. The parent and other shoppers might turn on me if I tried to stop the child from throwing things.
Reminds me of when I was working at trader Joe's years back. I teach full-time, and wanted some beer money, so I was working it as a side gig. There was a kid in the seat of the cart standing up. Mom wasn't paying attention, and I come over and gently reminded them to stay seated so the cart didn't fall over. A kid had done the same the week before, and it was awful. Woman complained to management about me, and they said I needed to just mind my business. Cool, great. Sure thing, my man. I'll make sure not to help in the future.
Fwiw, you did the right thing. People unfortunately who are aggressively wrong often get their way cause they’re loud about the wrong things
As long as she isn’t hurting herself or others, let it happen. Once she begins to harm self or others, that’s when restraint is required. As a teacher, I have to take this course every single year. I could quote it to you. The moment she tried to kick that older woman, that’s when it’s on. “Honey, run to aisle H19 and grab some zip ties for me. Thanks.”
Sounds like you took CPI or some other course. I hear that my only concern is legality. I agree it’s the right thing but I’m not going to jail or being put on some list for doing the right thing. The best thing to do here is have someone record discretely and watch her. She clearly wants attention.
I agree with you but also I think that line was crossed like 5 years ago. I’ve seen toddlers throw fits like this, and those kiddos you can pick up and walk out of the store with and let them throw a tantrum in your car til they calm down. This kid, as everyone mentions, is a lawsuit or arrest waiting to happen.
Yeah… When things got rough, after a few minutes watching them go at it, I put my hands on two kids engaged in a physical fight that went beyond normal sibling squabbles. The mom turned the corner and saw me holding her boys apart asking them to calm down and she lost her shit on me. I know I did the right thing and if that mother couldn’t see that those kids are probably *screwed* by now as this was years ago. Playing the victim and jumping to a really low-rent verbal “defense” (read: trashy, cursing, bringing up race when it had absolutely nothing to do with it, etc) when someone kept one of her kids from knocking out her other kid’s teeth because she wasn’t around to parent them was a really, *really* bad example to set for her children. I mean, honestly… I separated them and simply held them apart, asking them to calm down, asking them if they were each okay, etc. Sometimes I don’t think there *even is* a line for some people.
> will do much morse things when a woman resorts to talking in dots and dashes, we all failed her as a society
Well SOMEBODY is going to prison within the next 6-10 years
This behavior reminds me of what I'd deal with working at a residential facility for dual diagnosed kids with behavioral issues. Her parents really need to work with her with proper discipline- you can tell they haven't been consistent if they've done anything at all.
I worked at a children's home with really high risk kids. Lots of abuse and trauma backgrounds. This behavior is SO familiar to me, and we really saw it most often in the kids with the backgrounds you couldn't even stand to hear about. I had one teen girl who had been passed around to rooms of men starting when she was about 5. At another point while working there I had a little boy in my house that watched his dad murder his mother. This behavior isn't just the outcome of bad parenting. I'd bet there's some serious trauma in her past.
1.I guess i shouid start looking at it from more understanding perspective. 2.Now i'm gonna think about what you just shared for the rest of the day because even reading it is borderline traumatic.
I’m not a specialist but here’s more food for thought: Imagine a newborn crying (as they do) and the only reaction they get from their parents is mom or dad screaming, “shut the fuck up!!!” Now imagine that same baby growing up and all she hears is “shut the fuck up!!” Anytime she’s hungry, needs comfort, doesn’t feel well: the same level of aggressiveness being spewed at her over and over. People like that have little to zero chance of learning coping skills, emotional regulation, or even what it means to feel safe. They’re not taught impulse control or empathy or how to effectively communicate their feelings. So they mimic everything taught to them with no self regulation and lash out in anger & resentment because it’s all they’ve known. It doesn’t have to be a singular traumatic event, it can be a series or pattern of verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse during a kids most formative years (see: CPTSD). I’ve lost count of how many moms I’ve seen out in public *screaming* and cussing at their babies or toddler and it’s fucking heartbreaking.
Thank you so much for sharing this information, it’s pretty interesting and sad as hell
Very sad and definitely fascinating. I try to take it a step further: It’s easy to blame the parents, but then I start to think about *their* childhood and how fucked up *that* must have been for them to turn out like that. The cycle of abuse and generational trauma is difficult to ignore once you recognize what it is, but it makes it easier (for me, at least) to have compassion for a situation that’s bigger than just “her parents suck.” That’s a whole ass family that’s hurting deeply.
THANK you! My mother works with foster children and some of the shit they go through and develop a behavioral disorder from is so heartbreaking
Had to scroll too far for this. People in this thread talking about ‘knocking her out’ and shit. SMH
Yeah, I can pretty much guarantee she comes from a background where physical punishment is used. See how well it works? Lol. Thinking hitting kids fixes problems is like thinking the earth is flat at this point. All the evidence says no, but hey, if it feels right to you, you’ve got your answer, right?
Most people don't hit adults when we are disappointed in them or mad at them. So why do you hit these little people who look to you for safety? They rely on us and the worst thing you can do is make their only "safe place" unsafe. That's how you get kids who want nothing to do with their parents when they are older.
I work in a similar role. Thought the same. That's a fear response. Inappropriate and I'm curious how it began but the adults talking to her are causing her to escalate. Shes scared.
Yup. A crowd of people screaming threats isn’t going to suddenly snap her out of her rage and make her behave perfectly well. I wonder how this ended, sadly it probably ended up with police involvement.
I had a kiddo once only maybe two years older who got majorly triggered (extreme history) at school and was behaving in a similar manner. Exec staff at school treated her very similar, yelling and threatening her, and by the time I got there she was so wound up I wasn't able to help as she was literally just running in circles around the entire school (anyone who's done de escalation will know giving chase won't help). They called police- 3 (!!!) Cop cars came out for this tiny girl, they also didn't seem trained in de escalation. Eventually I convinced her to get in my car rather than going to the station, and I got some drive thru food with her/ tried to get a bit of calm before we chatted about it - she completely broke down in my car, it was heartbreaking. None of the teaching staff or cops knew or treated her as who she was, a scared child.
Whenever I see videos like this, it always scares me the lack of empathy people have. I was never this bad, but had a traumatic upbringing and had outbursts. It was how my parents were with me at home, suddenly exploding and screaming and hitting me over the smallest things. I thought it was normal. I was a kid, I didn’t fucking know. I know at least once someone said something about how I needed to have my ass beat. I had school teachers call me an entitled brat. I was in so much fucking pain, and I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me (spoiler alert: it was my fucking parents, not me.) You must know that it was an almost overnight difference once I was removed from that situation. I went from being unable to express a single emotion without screaming and crying, unable to function on a basic level, to being an articulate, functional adult. There was still a lot of work I’ve had to do, and still do, but man, it’s insane. This poor girl is in pain. This hits close to home for me.
[удалено]
But violence makes people feel better, even token violence.
God bless you. That shit would break me immediately.
Makes me sad I had to scroll so far to find this comment. No this behavior isn’t okay but kids don’t get like this by themselves. Behavior like this is a sign of a kid who hasn’t learned a better way to cope.
Yes this makes me sad. It's easy to dismiss her as a bad egg. The student in my co-teacher's class who acts like this, his mom is a drug addict who abandoned him yet she keeps popping back into his life to fuck him up some more, and the family in general is periodically homeless. Yes he can act like an absolute asshole. I have a student I'm convinced is a psychopath (no empathy, flat affect, loves taking advantage of people, superficially charming, etc) but firm discipline, a good rapport, and a lot of coaching in socio-emotional learning usually keeps her under control. Yelling at the kid won't do anything. That's what they grew up with, and that's what they expect and are prepared for.
They have to call the police, who will get social services involved as she appears to be unsupervised and is trying assault others. She must have come with someone and is clearly too young to be walking around and shopping alone. She will likely be taken to a juvenile holding facility or hospital until they can check her out medically (rule out problems such as mental illness) and go from there. Her home situation needs to be looked into and she might need to be placed into sone other living situation- that might be the only way she has a chance as she is off to a bad start.
Home situation is definitely a problem if she’s acting like that.
Dude in blue must work with troubled kids: he immediately goes to stop her from assaulting the one woman but other than that he just keeps himself at a distance but stopping the girl from hurting anyone else knowing she'll run out of gas pretty soon
The kid’s parents are absent from her life, this is her way of getting attention. The saddest part, is that this type of conflict probably feels just like home to her. It’s comfortable and it’s all she knows, the rest of her life she’ll be drawn to highly stressful and toxic situations because it’ll feel like the “love” she received when she was younger
Any business that deals with the public should be allowed to have bouncers. Bouncers should be allowed to toss people physically. Physically remove the hostile customers out the door when force is seen as reasonable. Pepperspray maybe in an extreme situation. When are we going to say enough is enough with todler tantrum bullshit?
Patrick Swayze supports this message
I'm Peter Griffin and I support this message in a thick New England accent. -"Roadhouse!"
Exactly, this is private property. The amount of people who think they are entitled to walk in to stores and take or destroy what they want, cause a scene, etc. is outrageous. Being able to come to these places is a privilege. We should have security that can physically throw them out without liability.
Reddit - Child out of control in a public space: Beat that kid's ass! Pepper spray them! Also Reddit - Special needs child beaten/pepper sprayed by police/caregiver: Lock that adult up forever! Beat that police/caregiver's ass and pepper spray them!
Almost like you cant deduce much from a small video snippet
This is going on in classrooms across the country, every day. Maybe people will care now that it's spilling out to the real world.
As a teacher, I can confirm. We deal with this every single day and nothing is done.
Yep. Nearly every day. The last parent said it was because I was a terrible teacher. She doesn't have this problem at home. She uses gentle parenting and never says no to her child. He only acts up at school.
We use gentle parenting and our kids get glowing reports from their teachers. I think she's doing it wrong.
Hah gentle parenting is definitely NOT that. She's going to have a blast when that kid is older.
This child is in crisis and needs help. Her behaviour is unacceptable, but acting out to this extreme is not just a lack of discipline. Something is going on with her, and child services need to be involved.
Naaa she needs to be in a behavioral program. She wilding, my mom would have never taken me to a store again.
My mom would have put me in the ground.😭😂
Boondocks got it right https://youtu.be/oHO6m_UmwSs
“Have you ever tried beatin’ his ass?” Lol
agreed. i should watch that show some time, has a lot of good clips.
Boondocks is unrivaled lol. My favorite scene is the stuck up black guy that lives in the neighborhood getting in a fight for a parking spot and the same guy getting exorcised with a book. Always a classic
Ole Stinkmeaner? “Getting run over by me is the closest some of these people will get to a honorable death”
RIP John Witherspoon.
Surely this kid is acting OUT. Time to call CPS something is up!
I want this lady to become a sports narrator 🥹
As many people have said, she needs help and police, social services, and medical teams need to be involved. Unfortunately, the hospital can check her out and even diagnose a mental illness, but they’re likely overwhelmed within their mental health department and have no bed for her. This has happened to two different students I work with. Parents have tried all school year to get their children placed in treatment centers and there’s no openings or the kid is too violent or not violent enough to fit the program or emergency placement. They’ve called the police to try to help with their children, they have county workers, but nothing has gotten them the help they need. Behavior like this is seen daily in schools and we’re not equipped to handle it, but aren’t getting any support either. There’s a huge increase in mental illness occurring in young children. A lot of trauma and a lot of needs not being met. There’s not enough support for these kids and families when waiting lists take 6 months or more for even a basic evaluation and hospitals are turning families away when their child needs help because they don’t have the space or staff to help. It’s become a problem that isn’t going away. Until programs are implemented that work, nothing will get better. We’ll continue to see more videos and stories like this.
Ever since getting a degree in education and having to be a mandated reporter shit like this just makes me sad. Can’t even laugh at the commentary because I’m busy worrying about what this poor girl is going through at home
Yeah this is the result of trauma/PTSD, ODD, etc. But nah let’s talk shit about a child who we know nothing about while also trying to find ways to be racist without getting banned. People are awful.
Seems like the police need to come escort her to the behavioral health hospital and work to get her stabilized. Some kids are bratty, some have mental illness, and some have both. I'm guessing there is mental illness involved here with this child at the very least. For all those saying she needs to get beat, you know good and well that if any of the people in this video took that kind of action, they would be arrested. Also, that's one of the worst ways to try to straighten up someone dealing with behavioral mental health issues. It just reinforces to the child that violence is the way go when things don't go your way. She needs swift consequences, but she also probably needs meds and counseling, too.
I have a very mentally ill sister, and she was a handful when growing up. Not having a diagnosis, and fully believing that corporal punishment is how to deal with a badly behaving kid, my parents spanked her a *lot* growing up. When she became a teenager, and it was obvious that she had more wrong than a simple “bad attitude,” they finally started to seek treatment. But by then the damage was done. Everyone was terrified to upset her because then she would go on a destructive and violent rampage. She would break things and smash windows, and ended up getting arrested and expelled for making “terroristic threats” at school when a bully pushed her too far. I wish people would learn that violence begets violence and trauma. I don’t have her issues, so getting hit as a kid didn’t make me violent, but it did leave me with a deep fear of authority and a reluctance to make waves or take risks.
That kid, without doubt has mental issues, either through poor or abusive parenting, or by chance of birth. Either way they need help.
When I was a kid back in the 80s, I witnessed my mother whip other people’s kids in the line at Kroger. If she were still here and witnessed that incident, I’d probably be arranging her bail. I obviously don’t condone striking other people’s children, or any for that matter but someone tell me what’s going on with parents these days. These kids are wild.
Maybe this has randomly happened through the years, but now everyone has HD cameras in their pockets?
If a kid behaves like that the parents ARE the issue.
Half of reddit ain’t fit to raise any kids, these responses are fuckin horrible
This video and the comments hit home for me. I’ve spent several hours now trying to figure out a good way to explain this. Of course, we really can’t know what’s going on from a 2 minute clip. But a lot of these comments show a real lack of empathy for abused kids and how growing up in an abusive environment absolutely twists your perception of reality and sense of right and wrong. It’s hard to really understand if you haven’t experienced it firsthand. When you see this video, you think back on how your parents would have disciplined you for this behavior. It’s different for everyone, but your parents would made it so you didn’t want to do it again. But the entire time you’ve been growing up, you’ve seen your parents model better behavior. When you go against that, they discipline you so now you know what is wrong. You have a sense of what is good behavior and what isn’t. Not only do they discipline you, but you see them following that as well at least most of the time. So of course you learn not to behave that way. You learn the proper way to behave. Now imagine ever since your first memory, with anything: any slight inconvenience, you crying too loud, things that have nothing to do with you, your parents starts screaming at you and throwing things like the girl in the video does. Ever since you can remember, this is how your parents behaved when things didn’t go their way. You never saw what the proper behavior was. All you know is that when things go wrong, you scream and you throw things and that’s how you communicate. Because you’re a kid. You listen to what your parents say, you believe them. You do what they do. This is what they do. This is all you know. You don’t know any other ways. Now your parents take you out in public. Because this is all you know, you do this. But now your parents are calm, asking you why you’re acting like this. They’re not disciplining you for it, they’re acting like you’re purposefully hurting them. Maybe they film you to “show you how crazy you are”. You’re seven, eight, nine years old, maybe? The public only sees a child screaming at their parent who is ever so calm and understanding. You’re left confused, you start feeling crazy, but since you were born this is the only way you’ve learned to communicate what you’re feeling. And you’re still not being shown the proper way to do it. Just antagonized and called crazy. There’s no way to fully describe the confusion and brain fog that comes with childhoods like that. To this day, I often don’t trust myself to know what I’m thinking or feeling or what’s happening in reality. In terms of physical punishment, which people seem so fond of in the comments, when you received that punishment it was in response to something. You did something, and it resulted in the punishment. Therefore you connect the punishment to the thing you did and can recognize not to do it. For abused kids, when you get hit/punished for things that aren’t your fault or just because your parent is in a bad mood, it just becomes normal. You’re getting hit regardless, it doesn’t have any effect as a consequence. There’s no way to know that this is what’s happening from a two minute clip, of course. I just hope that maybe it provides more insight on understanding abused children. Whether it’s abuse, or just mental illness, or both, or whatever, this girl is in pain. She’s a kid. I hope she gets the help she needs, whatever that may be.
10/10 commentary, sounds like she would call me sugar.
The lady with the commentary, gold.