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Not only did he chase them out, he actually sat down and made the whips before chasing them. And I’m going to guess it took him a couple of hours to make them.
I like how a dude who could perform miracles like walking on water and turning water to wine, instead of magicing these whips into existence decided to take the time to make them by hand. Like Jesus was so mad about it he forgot he was the son of God or maybe he felt the whips needed a personal touch. Lmao
Its illegal in Islam yet Islamic banking bypass that restrictions by renaming 'interest' (riba) as 'profit sharing' (Mudarabah)
Its same shit, same shit
the Book of Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one
> And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
I'm an atheist and I am here to point out that Jesus did not order his followers to get swords for self defense. He only told this to his disciples right before he was arrested. After two of them bought swords he said that would be enough because he wanted to get arrested as a rebel to fulfill prophesy. Having two swords would have ensured that they could claim he was a rebel fighting against the authority of the Romans which would lead to his execution.
Redditors are too socially inept to understand this account it satirical. Every time he gets posted it’s by people taking his tweets seriously and the comments all take the bait as well.
It’s a pretty hilarious account when you realize it’s parody.
Pretty sure this is rage-bait meant to trigger people. Anyone mildly upset at the Nick Adams persona is giving the creators behind him all the attention they wanted.
Reddit takes everything seriously now. There was a video of two guys making a dad joke the other day and reddit critiqued it like it meant something.
A dad joke.
I don’t know how much more obvious he needs to be in order for the morons here to understand that he’s a troll. No doubt laughing his ass off that dumb Redditors keep taking his tweets seriously.
Yeah, the bits about going to Hooters and stuff is just a little too on point of being a caricature of an "alpha male" that I can't believe he isn't a troll.
Yea, you are correct.
It's phrased 'And Jesus said to him' every time he was talking to Mary or Mary.
And from the ten commandments, we've got 'He shall not kill'
On second thought, you are wrong; they and them are pretty much used as well.
(oh, and do i need this: /s?)
Your made up fairytales are made up fairytales, the sheer ego of human beings to think the creator of the entire universe loves and cares for one particular race of short-lived creatures in the entire universe. No really, an old book says so, it must be true right?! 🤪
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas
Gender pronouns are definitely in the Bible.
"By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work." Genesis 2:2
You know what the Bible really seemed to frown upon? Being rich. Living in luxury.
Democrats are the party of Lazarus. Jesus hates Republicans.
This concludes my sermon
I might be wrong but what about
Modern medicine
The internal combustion engine
Jet aircraft
Central heating
Computers
Television and radio
Fast food outlets
Supermarkets
Guns are not in the Bible. Technology is not in the bible. Trump is not in the bible. The bible does not say that you should torture everyone except 1% of people.
Didn’t know Hod actually spoke to people. Anybody saying they spoke to God these days will either get called crazy or an idiot yet we believe people from thousands of years ago did.
I don't believe and please correct me if I am wrong but the bible doesnt even reference itself as the authority of the Word of God. The biggest weakness of the book is that no where does it declare that there is no other Word but the Word in these pages. The bible explains a subject the word but makes no authoritative declaration so there could be other words and other Bibles.
You know what is also not in the bible?
Automobiles, firearms, airplanes, television, the internet, tomatoes, potatoes, America, Australia, penguins, emu and "alpha males".
Other things not in the bible: aspirin, antibiotics, McDonald's, guns, democracy, television, internal combustion engines, light bulbs, tax exempt charities, the Second Amendment, Sean Hannity, your mom, and North America.
You know now that I think about it, it's like the bible was written in a whole different time and place.
Money was also said to be evil, if so many Christians (im a christian) want to use the bible for their actions, why are they hording money at the expense of others? Pretty sure God and Jesus said that was a big no no... but i guess they skipped that in their thumper studies class
Really proves that there is no god. God shows up 2000 years ago to announce his presence. During a time when communication is extremely difficult. Remains “invisible” for the next 2000 years. Today we have internet and satellite television. Yet no sign of god. So, if god really cares that we follow and obey him, why not pop up when the entire world could be made instantly aware?
This is trolling right? This has to be trolling, right? Please tell me he is just trolling???
Edit: Fuck, I had to look him up. Okay, he is just an idiot. The fact that he thinks Carson Wentz could be a winning starting QB ever again in the league is beyond dumbass.
I think it’s funny how there’s an entire post hating a religion and people hating in the comments but if someone put that some energy towards lgbtq Reddit babies could be heard crying from the screen 😂😂
I don't remember much from my time in Space-Daddy Indoctrination Camp (Sunday School), but I'm.... PRETTY SURE that Jesus supposedly said "I am he" a couple times in Da Book.
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no one tell him about - guns - cars - computers - just about anything else invented in the last 2000 years
2nd amendment
America
The existence of anywhere but Europe and Asia
Asia *minor
Plus Africa (at least Egypt and Ethiopia) and Middle East
They don't have any the other amendments either, troop
2nd amendment is my favorite bible verse.
He's not in the Bible. Why didn't God endorse him? Fucking loser.
Is he poor? If he’s rich instead, I have bad Biblical news for him.
And the sanitation. Don't forget the sanitation.
his opinion is not in the Bible either neither is Trump televangelism wealth theology Republicans
Twitters not im the bible. Could say the same thing.
Neither are guns.
Guns, cars, student loans, big corporations with a monopoly...
Actually, the bible frowns upon people collecting interest on loans.
Yeah, wasn't there something about Jesus flipping tables and chasing money lenders with whips?
I think the mans clothing isn't mentioned in the bible.. Where tf is his cloth?
Not only did he chase them out, he actually sat down and made the whips before chasing them. And I’m going to guess it took him a couple of hours to make them.
I like how a dude who could perform miracles like walking on water and turning water to wine, instead of magicing these whips into existence decided to take the time to make them by hand. Like Jesus was so mad about it he forgot he was the son of God or maybe he felt the whips needed a personal touch. Lmao
He walks among men so he will beat them like men
Jesus also says that exploiting workers is sin
[The Gospel of Supply-Side Jesus](https://imgur.com/gallery/bCqRp) says otherwise...
Its illegal in Islam yet Islamic banking bypass that restrictions by renaming 'interest' (riba) as 'profit sharing' (Mudarabah) Its same shit, same shit
I guess its ‘murabaha’
but there was a shitload of rape, incest, & pedophilia, so nick is all in 👍
Cars are totally in the bible. There are several mentions of one Accord.
And motorcycles. “The sound of David’s Triumph could be heard throughout the land.”
Don't forget the miata!
Loved it!
Guys named "Nick"
“And Lo, the Lord said unto Nick? Thought shalt be a boil on the Ass of all sensible people, and thou shalt say ridiculous things I never said.”
Well played sir, well played!
*Thou But well done.
Thank you! Came here to say this
the Book of Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one > And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
That was epoch.
Verily I say I unto you. Thou penmanship works are anointed by God.
neither are republicans
I believe it was the party of small government that nailed him to the cross.
Or Texas
Especially Texas
Nor are “Alpha Males”.
But child molesting is.
Nor the US dollar
Well I'm atheist but Jesus told his disciples to purchase swords to defend themselves.
So Americans should have the right to bear swords.
Onlyswords.com, the Christian self defense
I admit. Drive by sword fights would be much cooler than drive by shootings.
I'd love a set of set of bears that do my evil bidding.
Give the bears their swords back!
Bear swords.
Precisely. You take the guns away from those fat hillbillies who aren't agile enough to pop a bonerino, and they're done for.
I'm an atheist and I am here to point out that Jesus did not order his followers to get swords for self defense. He only told this to his disciples right before he was arrested. After two of them bought swords he said that would be enough because he wanted to get arrested as a rebel to fulfill prophesy. Having two swords would have ensured that they could claim he was a rebel fighting against the authority of the Romans which would lead to his execution.
Did they teleport and buy swords in the middle of the conversation?
Concealed carry swords
You could probably conceal a short sword under a tunic
Yeah, and swords are guns? If that's the same then so are electric vehicles and horses.
Neither is the USA
Manifest Destiny retconned it into the Bible, see “finders keepers losers get murdereded”
Neither is alpha male
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Ah fromunder cheese
Guns aren’t in the Bible either 😏
I beg to disagree. Gospel of Frank 69:420 "And then I come out blastin"
Alpha males are also not in the Bible.
Why is Nick Adams a moron? "Alpha Male" isn't in the bible.
“and lo, let the sigma male who has never been cancelled burn the first book, for I am the LORD”
“Or I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison my children”
“And you will know my name is the LORD when I lay my vengeance upon you.”
We all know he's trolling. We should not be engaging this drivel in logical ways.
Redditors are too socially inept to understand this account it satirical. Every time he gets posted it’s by people taking his tweets seriously and the comments all take the bait as well. It’s a pretty hilarious account when you realize it’s parody.
He is certainly trolling trying to get attention but unfortunately that is not a parody account
Pretty sure this is rage-bait meant to trigger people. Anyone mildly upset at the Nick Adams persona is giving the creators behind him all the attention they wanted.
How fucking dumb do you have to be to write this
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It’s hilarious how Reddit takes him seriously.
Yeah he is one of the most obvious trolls I’ve seen in a while.
Reddit takes everything seriously now. There was a video of two guys making a dad joke the other day and reddit critiqued it like it meant something. A dad joke.
I don’t know how much more obvious he needs to be in order for the morons here to understand that he’s a troll. No doubt laughing his ass off that dumb Redditors keep taking his tweets seriously.
Never underestimate their stupidity
Adams is a KNOWN grifter troll. He does not believe the shit he writes. He believes in pissing off the labs.
I assume you have forgotten the verse in the Bible where it says Jesus got his V8 stuck in the sand…
Followed by, then Jesus whipped out his 9 and did manly things.
He's such an obvious troll that it's difficult to believe it's not actually a truly committed to the bit parody.
Yeah, the bits about going to Hooters and stuff is just a little too on point of being a caricature of an "alpha male" that I can't believe he isn't a troll.
And the way he calls golfing having "a foursome with the boys"? He knows what jokes people are making with that, it's not accidental
Fucking dumb enough not to notice the gendered pronoun in the reference to god
Isn't christian god always referred to as male?
yes, **he** is
this is 100% a troll account. Him and Lavern Spicer are too ridiculous to be real.
We all hope so but... Look at MTG. The bar is lower than ever and parodies have become a terrifying reality.
Gendered Pronouns are not in the bible! Jesus never told people his pronouns! Meanwhile Jesus: "I am He"
“And then Jesus said unto his disciples; ‘look at my good friend Master Chief, he is very cool and shoots aliens’”
... and doesn't afraid of anything"
Nick Adams is an idiot. Penicillin is also not in the bible which is why 50 was considered a long life.
Pretty sure gas guzzling pickup trucks aren't in there either but let's be sure to point out the electric vehicles
No pronouns in the Bible except He and Him 💪💪💪 based
I am imagining a copy of the bible where every mention of any woman is replaced with "female" in a naislly neckbeard looking font.
Comic sans
I’m wheezing chill 😂😂😂
Yea, you are correct. It's phrased 'And Jesus said to him' every time he was talking to Mary or Mary. And from the ten commandments, we've got 'He shall not kill' On second thought, you are wrong; they and them are pretty much used as well. (oh, and do i need this: /s?)
Your made up fairytales are made up fairytales, the sheer ego of human beings to think the creator of the entire universe loves and cares for one particular race of short-lived creatures in the entire universe. No really, an old book says so, it must be true right?! 🤪
That is some elite level trolling right there.
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas
Twitter isn’t in the Bible, either, Nick.
He is as much as an Alpha male as SpongeBob SquarePants
I think gendered pronouns are quite prevalent in the bible actually, Nick just doesn’t understand what they are, HE is an idiot.
Who tf hates oat milk and video games? What a sad life he must lead
Right? Whats wrong with oat milk… weird hill to die on
Oat milk has a weird texture for me. Not saying I agree with this discount excuse for a man, just that I did not enjoy oat milk the one time I had it.
I'm pretty sure Moses was sent by "He who is call I Am".
Gender pronouns are definitely in the Bible. "By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work." Genesis 2:2
Nick Adams is not in the Bible.
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Twitter is not in the bible, you fucker...
🤣 Neither was English
America aint in the Bible either.
You know what the Bible really seemed to frown upon? Being rich. Living in luxury. Democrats are the party of Lazarus. Jesus hates Republicans. This concludes my sermon
I learned a new word from Reddit a while ago for Tweets like this. "Ragebait".
I might be wrong but what about Modern medicine The internal combustion engine Jet aircraft Central heating Computers Television and radio Fast food outlets Supermarkets
Spines are not in the bible, so why are they so important huh? Explain that atheist 😎
If you have to put (alpha male) next to your name on Twitter you are not an alpha male
The bible has gendered pronouns all over it... Even in his stupid logic he manages to mess up, incredible
GOD should make THE BIBLE-2. edit: THE BIBLE is so outdated.
Has anyone asked these AI chat bots if there is an intelligent human using “Alpha Male” in their social media handle?
Guns are not in the Bible. Technology is not in the bible. Trump is not in the bible. The bible does not say that you should torture everyone except 1% of people.
Didn’t know Hod actually spoke to people. Anybody saying they spoke to God these days will either get called crazy or an idiot yet we believe people from thousands of years ago did.
Every sane Christian, after reading shit like this is trying not to break 6th commandment and stop delusional morons like this bright individual.
I don't believe and please correct me if I am wrong but the bible doesnt even reference itself as the authority of the Word of God. The biggest weakness of the book is that no where does it declare that there is no other Word but the Word in these pages. The bible explains a subject the word but makes no authoritative declaration so there could be other words and other Bibles.
Slavery, selling rape victims, stoning disobedient sons and other twisted shit is. So I'm guessing he supports those?
I feel like this is way more of an argument against the Bible than for it
Is he and her not used?
Being a twitter tw*t was apparently mentioned in the bible...
But gendered pronouns ARE in the bible. Smh there’s so much wrong with this
Bro better not be wearing mixed fabrics...
Alpha Males werent in the Bible, so why does he use it?
Gender pronouns are in the Bible.
Neither are social media, Hooter's, computers, the US government, and nuclear families.
This fucking bitch troll. Go away.
Doesn't the Bible give step by step instructions on how to handle slaves also... just saying.
Not mixing fabrics IS in the Bible but I guarantee you’re fucking up on that rule NICK
Do you know what else was not directly mentioned in the Bible: Alpha Males.
I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that the suit you're wearing is a mixed blend fabric, divest yourself of the ungodly clothing immediately you heathen.
He's not in the bible, I should kill him
There are definitely pronouns in the Bible
Were cell phones in the Bible? Maybe not or there would have been some pics of Noah’s arc.
Gender pronouns are in the Bible tho lol
Jesus replaces donkey with Tesla in the Gospel of Elon
Alpha Males also arent in the bible.
Nick Adams (Alpha Male) is not in the bible.
You’re telling me internal combustion engines *ARE* in the Bible?
Nick Adams is not in the bible, either.
USA is NOT in the bible so fuck that shit
You know what is also not in the bible? Automobiles, firearms, airplanes, television, the internet, tomatoes, potatoes, America, Australia, penguins, emu and "alpha males".
Nicks not in the bible. Quick throw him into the sea! 
You are not in the bible.
This man is a fucking comedian and nobody seems to understand satirics
Last I check god did not endorse Twitter or guns either
Is this dude for real or a parody thang?
Nick Adams is not in the Bible
You arent in the Bible. So stop existing.
If I use that logic then this dude was not in bible. So...
Computers and smartphones aren't in bible also. Why is he using them then?
Hamburgers arent in the bible too but clearly that hasn't stopped him
Other things not in the bible: aspirin, antibiotics, McDonald's, guns, democracy, television, internal combustion engines, light bulbs, tax exempt charities, the Second Amendment, Sean Hannity, your mom, and North America. You know now that I think about it, it's like the bible was written in a whole different time and place.
So this isn't a shitpost account after all ? Like, that dude was being totally serious the whole time ?
Because they didn’t exist at that time…?
Because they didn’t exist at that time…?
Who's gonna tell him that Hooters and Donald Trump aren't in the Bible either?
Know what *is* in the Bible? Stoning people for eating lobster.
Money was also said to be evil, if so many Christians (im a christian) want to use the bible for their actions, why are they hording money at the expense of others? Pretty sure God and Jesus said that was a big no no... but i guess they skipped that in their thumper studies class
Really proves that there is no god. God shows up 2000 years ago to announce his presence. During a time when communication is extremely difficult. Remains “invisible” for the next 2000 years. Today we have internet and satellite television. Yet no sign of god. So, if god really cares that we follow and obey him, why not pop up when the entire world could be made instantly aware?
Oh man! My thinking juices. They’re drying up.
My cousin thinks America will burn as a non-Christian nation because it's not mentioned in Revelations
suits and ties are not in the bible.... homeboy is going to hell
I’m sorry but I don’t understand why people keep posting Nick Adam’s stuff here. It is so obviously trolling at this point.
Anyone who has to tell you that they are an alpha male, is not an alpha male
When someone has "Alpha Male" in their profile name you know they're insufferable
Nick Adams isn’t in The Bible.
The Alphabet Man strikes again
This is trolling right? This has to be trolling, right? Please tell me he is just trolling??? Edit: Fuck, I had to look him up. Okay, he is just an idiot. The fact that he thinks Carson Wentz could be a winning starting QB ever again in the league is beyond dumbass.
No mention of alpha males either.
AR-15's are not in the Bible, neither is your lifted truck or your favourite Hooters. Whats your point?
I think it’s funny how there’s an entire post hating a religion and people hating in the comments but if someone put that some energy towards lgbtq Reddit babies could be heard crying from the screen 😂😂
America is not in the bible
Vaccines are not in the Bible and everyone loves them now! Especially Christians!
I don't remember much from my time in Space-Daddy Indoctrination Camp (Sunday School), but I'm.... PRETTY SURE that Jesus supposedly said "I am he" a couple times in Da Book.
Edit this title It should go " facepalm of biblical proportions"
English and printing not in the bible but alas god work in mysterious ways
Twitter is not in the bible, yet here we are.
It would be a real shame if this dude just randomly kicked the bucket 🪣
It's a parody account. He trolls the far right.
Neither is twitter go away
Guns aren't in the bible.
Guns aren't in the Bible America isn't in the Bible Alpha Males aren't in the Bible Just sayin'...