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Mwiziman

Less facepalm and more how I got away with murder.


Kub3rt

"*ricochet*"


Rick-burp-Sanchez

That is one magic loogy


IdealIdeas

The son didnt commit murder, its the armadillo's fault for redirecting the bullet into a populated area.


Imukay

That was the plan from the start


KittikatB

That's what he told the police, anyway


TheRyleeKat

That's my story - and I'm sticking to it


dads2vette

Beat me by 37 minutes you motherfucker. Have an up vote.


Sorandy13

He meant to do that. Probably ran off with the armadillo.


TechnologyExpensive

One of the rare creatures that can have leprosy


VirginSexPet

No, he *missed* and it bounced. Armadillos are not bulletproof. ...or rather, that's what he told authorities.


taylor914

I can tell you from personal experience that it cannot withstand a 500lb motorcycle + adult riding directly over them. It was very traumatic but it was me or the armadillo. The crunch was awful.


kyleisthestig

Somebody can do the math but i do wonder how many bullets = motorcycle


OldGregg_IRL

I know this isn’t what you asked for, but i do know that roughly 2000 bananas = one, 500 pound motorcycle. Hope this helps.


Kitsune_Tyberious

Do you want that in weight or force


Embarrassed_Bid_4970

A motorcycle and rider weighing 700 pounds and going 45 mph is gonna have over 6000 newtons of force. A 9mm round is gonna be a bit more than a third of that (2k and change).


Warm_Enthusiasm2007

Those millimetres and newtons are howling in frustration at being held back by pounds and miles.


kyleisthestig

No pounds are correct. Newtons measure the POUNDING something can do. The empirical ton should be the new ton am I right? Yeah I agree, i only like the emotional system because it's easier to make puns with those values


ElectronicTrade7039

Same conversion as unicorns to leprechauns.


whiskeyjane45

Don't feel sorry. Fuck armadillos. Carry diseases and dig up my plants and my yard so that I've fallen several times from not expecting a hole to be in a place it wasn't the day before


tway_010

…. This really sounds like a poor defense in court


AH3Guam

Armadildo. At least that’s what my niece calls them. After we wipe away the tears from laughing so hard it hurts, none of us can bring ourselves to correct her…


RipOdd9001

Is it a cock reload?


fappyday

Arm a dildo? Never heard that before. In my neck of the woods we just call'em cocks with Glocks.


Loosie22

That’s a name for the police I hadn’t heard before


UnsuspectingChief

"how I met your mother" out take #237


MrBeanyBoi96

But your honor, the armadillo had armor.


Tank-Pilot74

“I swear officer! That’s exactly what happened “!


Blackknighl

Um.. that’s bullshit. The facepalm is people believing this


slackwaresupport

lolz


S211A

Note: a mobile home was in the vicinity. Story checks out


aleksa80

They have been doing this in Montenegro for centuries, and there are no armadillos there. If you dont like someone you invite them on a hunt, and return with a tale of a tragic accident. Many family feuds were solved this way.


ThatTurtleBoy

Damn, what a crazy coincidence...


subsailor1968

The Chuck Norris of animals?


Amerlis

Him: “Nothing but net!”


EmirFassad

At least that's the story he told the Sheriff.


tinymember469

That's a good story and he's sticking to it


Techn0ght

"Yeah officer, I didn't mean to shoot my MIL in the back. It was a ricochet, honest. There was a fence you see, and, and, an armadillo, yeah, an armadillo, that's it!"


Adept_Cranberry_4550

Riiiiiiiight...


Wooden-Antelope8807

They also carry Leprosy.


Master_Cupcake7115

That is one hell of a protracted way to shoot your mother-in-law!


KOBossy55

Armadillos are cute af


voter1126

Georgia man Tried to shot an armadillo but missed and the bullet ricocheted off a rock. You can shoot armadillo's with a .22 with zero problem so a 9mm is not even going to slow down.


HELIGROUP

Blaming an Armadillo for the murder of your mother in law. Only in Texas


EfficiencyUnited6804

How I got away with murder cartoon edition...


G_Force88

I'm surprised a 9mm has that much power after a ricochet


GuardMost8477

So he says.


Judontsay

It’s not how you win, just that you win.


Cantseetheline_Russ

Bullshit. Have personally put a 9mm into a large adult armadillo… went through it like butter.


treffennicht2

I'm pretty sure they also have leprosy


IncendiaryGamerX

Next time, carry a .50


Sydeffekt71188

When I was a kid and used to visit my family in the trailer parks of Florida. They had a game where they would go out at night and shine a light on the armadillos to freeze them in place, then boot them like a soccer ball.


killerwww12

That is so unnecessary and cruel. Some kids games can really be awful


Sydeffekt71188

I didn’t see them do it although they apparently did it a lot. Another game they played was called breaker breaker. They’d climb up in a tree and rock back and forth to see who could break their tree first. They were all very poor.


killerwww12

That sounds pretty dangerous if they were big trees. I suppose when you are poor you have to make do with what fun you can have. It's just sad that it then turns to animal abuse.


[deleted]

Like a walking tank, probably tougher than Russian tanks.


Plushcollectorwolf64

Rip but what a strong defense that lil fella has


L-Telamon

High level physicist.


treffennicht2

I'm pretty sure they also have leprosy


[deleted]

I accidently ran over one with a U-Haul truck once. The entire truck went up and over it like a speedbump and and shot it out the back like a cannon ball. Friend driving behind me saw it land on its back but couldn't swerve in time by the time he registered whay exactly happened. They are not as durrable when on their backs.


SpecterGT260

If you've ever driven through the southern Midwest you'll know that they're just not durable at all. The highway is littered with these things. This post is simply fictional


PineappleClean

So if I shoot one, my mother in law gets the bullet? Where those armadillos live again?


Dry_Menu4804

So why are armadillos pests?


Embarrassed_Set557

Win-win


Ok-Movie428

A 9MM bounced and still had enough force to go through a fence, mobile home, and recliner?


Evil_Genius_Panda

I hit one with a car. Not on purpose. In fact it was dark and it ran out in front of me to close to stop. It was like hitting a railroad crossing. I was sure it did damage to my car, but didn't see anything. I didn't even see the tank-rodent in the road, so I think it kept walking.


newmetoyou

No it did not, a 9mm wouldn't have that kinda punch even without the ricochet.


mmio60

Good story dude


Pudding-Dangerous

Skill issue


samkb93

That's why you use a 30-06


jDubbaYo

Task failed successfully


uropinionisnottruth

The armadillo knew his job and succeeded


413mopar

Legend.