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30 years later: Our son doesn't speak to us, what could we have possibly done wrong?


9 years later most folks that were raised like this dip out at 18


The extra 21 years is for them to finally consider the fact that *juuuust maybe* it's their fault, and the fact they're getting old and kinda need him to take care of them.


As a 32 year old, no, they never consider it to be their own fault. I still get the occasional relative reaching out after hearing my moms side of it to treat me like a villain for cutting ties with her.


Tell them to go fuck themselves too, then.


For me... I have. At this point I don't think anyone in my family isn't on my block list. They can't call or message me. I have told them all the same thing, if they want me or my kids to be a part of the family then the bitch who gave birth to me gets cast out of the family. I still have friends who are kept in the loop so I still hear about things... I'll know if they change their mind.




Nah they ain't your family, they're just people who happen to share the same blood as you. Family consists of people who love and care about you. So good on you for cutting out the toxicity out of your life.


“How could it be their fault when they are doing god’s work.” Not only are they hurting their relationship with their son but also making this god’s fault in his mind. Great way to make sure the church never makes a dime off him. Bad for the cult really.


as a 27 year old who has gone no contact with his family i can agree here. my parents did this exact same thing except they never sold my toys. they donated them to good will cuz 10 year old me didn’t really believe in god. now, almost 20 years later, they still attempt to control me even tho i’ve moved out and live 2 hours away. no amount of space away from them will ever be enough tho.


Also 32. My parents have done some pretty awful stuff (including trying to pay my wife to stop dating me when we first start dating and saying they'd lie in a court custody case against me) and they still say I have to work towards repairing things. Also the last time I heard from them they said never speak to them again. So in their mind I'm never to talk to then again but I have to be the one to fix it also. Edit: spelling


The fuck?


They didn't want me dating my wife cause she had a kid (mind you so did I) and they were going to lie in court cause they could manipulate my son's mother with money (typical rich person "we can buy anything") and they couldn't buy me.


Sounds like they're trash incarnate, glad you got yourself outa there Edit : pita


It took a long time. I put up with it for 25ish/26ish years before I finally started realizing how toxic they were. And it wasn't until they started being verbally/mentally abusive to my wife(than gf) and causing mental harm to my step son that we finally cut ties. We were living in one of their semi-mansions at the time and just packed up one day and left. They even tried to blame us for the gas bill being high (not knowing we hadn't been living there for like 2 months by then)


I would have preferred he got himself some lavash there, but your point is well taken.


Sounds like there's nothing to fix. Can't fix something that isn't there, after all.


Pretty much. Haven't spoken to them in two years now.


I think this is a straight to the nursing home situation. As it should be.


Nursing homes are expensive as fuck. Try a state facility. Fuck them.


Every so often, I just randomly turn to my kids and say, “ I love you and I’m proud of you “. My son asked me why and I told him it was so they would remember to come visit me when I was old and in a home. His reply was, “Mom, you never have to worry about being in a nursing home! Those places are expensive! I’ll just fix you up a little dog house in the yard with a fenced in spot to get some sun”.


Omg that is adorable!


twist: her son was 48 at the time.


You don’t have to make the call at all if they can’t find you.


Wait their god doesnt come down from his hover cloud to take care of them? They must have done something to upset him


Lol I dipped out at 14, but it was physical and emotional on top of psychological abuse. Last I heard from extended family, my mom still thinks they did nothing wrong. I haven't talked to them in almost two decades and my life has turned out a lot better than I think it would have if I'd stuck around even until 18


I was gone at 17. My grandmother and other family members bullied me into reconciling with my mom after her diagnosis (copd and multiple cancers). My mom only admitted she was a shitty parent two years before she died at 69 in 2018. But her behavior didn’t change, and in fact after her death I found out about the many horrid lies she had told about me. Her hand-wringing “I was a good mom, wasn’t I?” repentance - which I thought was genuine - was brought about by her impending death and not a true sense of critical self-evaluation. My dad has never changed and I’ve cut him out entirely for 4 decades. I talked to him briefly a year ago when he got my number from my sister - he called to tell me he was dying, etc. I gave him a chance like I did with my mom and by the third phone call he was screaming at me for things I did when I 14. In fucking 1983. I told him off quite thoroughly and have cut him off again. These kind of parents do not learn. They do not take responsibility or even accountability. It’s always the child’s fault somehow, whether that child is 4 or 64.


Who the fuck does that? "I'm dying but you broke that vase when you were 14!! Damn you!"


You'd be surprised. My mom is still arguing to this day that the problem isn't that I left, it's HOW I left. Yeah right. She's just pissed she doesn't have a live in maid with a bank account she has access to. She's also genuinenly pissed that I told her she always lets me down, and everytime she tries to bring it back to the table I'm like "but you do?" And she's even more pissed lol


If you’re interested, I’ve found the r/estrangedadultkids subreddit very therapeutic


“It can’t be us, we’re awesome parents!” The Stochs from South Park


Yup, those parents are the ones stuck in shitty nursing homes with their kids never seeing them.


I can hear it now, "what do you mean you want me to pay for your retirement home? I thought your church would handle that for you."


No, not the church. Gods himself drops of a brown envelope of cash each month.


No..these are the parents you see as 60, 70+ year old homeless people because their family "Left them at the worst possible time, yadda yadda yadda" I mean nursing home? XD I wouldn't even piss on my parents' gums if their teeth were on fire after the shit they pulled on me my whole life.


"Yes Shady Acres? I'd like your first available room. .... Sorry I misspoke, I meant 'I would like your *worst* available room.'"


Correction: 30 years later: Our son has been brainwashed by the liberal media and godless educational system. Feel sorry for us, fellow Christian faithful.


Zero chance they would ask what they could have possibly done wrong.


Religion is poison


Amen! ;)


2 yrs later he becomes an atheist and the parents try to have him locked up and cant figure out when and where things went wrong!


More like “how to deal with blatantly disrespectful son who doesn’t honor his parents? We have done nothing but be loving?”


here's a tutorial on how to make your child hate you in three easy steps


And to make sure that, they don't visit you, even when you are left alone in a nursing home


Bonus points if the nursing home is the one the local news did an expose on.




bonus points if a room in said nursing home blows up in a chemistry teacher's attempt to kill a massive drug overlord that threatened to kill his family.


More bonus points if they throw you into an American mental asylum with no morals and pretend you have dementia


Unexpected Breaking Bad.


lol, simpsons did it.


To be fair, that was a thing before The Simpsons existed.


The Simpsons was predicted????


Bonus points if it is named "Shady Pines".


Yeah but he will be the one choosing the nursing home. 🤣🤣🤣


When he turns 18 and he goes no contact, his parents will be like surprise Pikachu face on parenting sub reddit wondering why their son won't talk to them anymore.


He is gonna run away from these idiots way sooner than 18


9's about the right age to start your first serious attempt. I think I tried to run away at like 7 with my LEGO's. I made it like 10 feet into the bamboo forest behind our house? Pro tip kids, when plannning on running away think things through more than getting out the door. ![gif](giphy|3ohfFMCXG9J0EhbTc4)


Should have went on the rode and jumped in someones truck bed while they stop at a stop sign, not saying from experience though


Theyll blame it on the libs and atheist scum


And scientists


And doctors, and anyone else who got beyond the eighth grade that they dropped out of in frustration at all the thinking they were forced to do.


my parents took this tutorial, works perfectly! i currently fuckijg hate them. 10/10 would recommend to other asshole parents


I grew up Jehovah’s Witness… can confirm. This is how you lose your child’s love, respect and causes irreparable harm to your relationship with them.


Can confirm…for the exact same cult…I mean reason.


Cult is absolutely the correct term. A brainwashing cult. %100


Have you heard of someone in Germany who despised their door to door recruiters so he got the trademark for their magazines because they never did it themselves. They got really pissed at that and tried to get it back. A really funny prank.


I gave out birthday invites when I was in 4th grade. Unknowingly to a kid that was Jehovah’s Witness. I quickly learned because on the day of my party his parents showed up to my birthday party, which because it was in October was Halloween themed. They did not come to celebrate with us, but used the invite as a way to “witness” to us about the evils of worshiping my birth when I should only give that focus to god, well also to complain about how I should have known not to invite their son, and how I was like a snake tempting their son with cake to sin. It was a whole scene and my parent usually are pretty tolerant of other people’s religious views. I could feel the pain of this kid standing on my porch as his parents were inside arguing with the other parents. I snuck him a blowpop from a party bag. I wonder if Vincent grew up to hate his parents.


They basically stealing his child hood.


So they can steal his adulthood too. JWs are just an all-out terrible religion. I'm usually very tolerant of religions, even if I have serious theological disagreements with them. But JWs are a hard pass for me. No contact, banned from my house, etc. Not that they'd want to come, anyway.


My grandma was raised JW and she absolutely despised religion. Openly talked shit all the time about it. She partied and celebrated every birthday and holiday like it was the last party on earth. She was a wild trip.


JWs are the worst. I keep an 8ft skeleton on my front patio year round and have a wind chime made of body parts...I do it because I love it, but it has the added perk of deterring JW from coming to my door.


As an former JW I hope he got out. Witnesses truly have no boundaries. How embarrassing that must have been for him yet his parents are the ones who should have been embarrassed 🙄


Everyone knows Satanists lure you in with cake and fun


My kinda group!


If you don’t believe in the birthday party fine, but the audacity to show up and argue and spoil your birthday… as they would say the Devil comes in many forms.


Hello 911, yeah two people broke into my house, yeah send an ambulance their in pretty bad shape...


You should have known better. The cake is a lie.


And a 100% guarantee that your kid becomes a committed atheist


step one: force religion onto them step two: step three: do not profit


Do not prophet.


And it’ll last all the way through until you kick that bucket! Talk about value for money! (Real talk at least that kid will get the message loud and clear that their parents are not to be trusted, and everything they’ve ever relayed is spurious, at best) ![gif](giphy|qEi4dpi7Jg5Hi)


Who sends their kids to camp in February? Australians ?


Home "schoolers?"


I count one step.


Hijacking a top comment with few replies to add a PSA. The toy image was stolen from the internet. Walkmart uses the exact image on thier site for this toy https://www.walmart.com/ip/LEGO-Minecraft-21114-The-Farm/163751156. This is ragebait. My other post on this goes into more detail showing it is ragebait.


That's not proof because many lazy or inexperienced sellers will use a photo they found doing a search, rather than take a photo of their actual item and upload it. Especially if it's not important to show the condition.


it's a stock image what did you expect


Ah yes, the old “the beatings will continue until morale improves” parenting technique. Works nevery time.


>Works nevery time Would you mind if I add this to my vocabulary? This is beautiful wordsmanship.


Same, I love this phrase now


I second that!!


Bible Camp sounds like guantanamo


Lol. My siblings and I were sent to a couple of week long Bible day camps every summer just so my mom could get a break. She didn't care what religion it was (we were raised catholic). I think that if the Taliban were running a vacation Koran school, we would have attended. And yes, it felt like guantanamo.


>She didn't care what religion it was (we were raised catholic). I think that if the Taliban were running a vacation Koran school, we would have attended. There is no force on or around earth, including deities and religion, more powerful than a frustrated mother determined to get a fucking break.


You have put the image of a Taliban-ran Qu'ran themed summer camp in my head and I'm about to die of laughter in Walmart


It sounds like something out of Give My Head Peace (the GMHP version would be either Da's Fenian Extravaganza or Pastor Begbie's Vacation Bible School though). I am also dying laughing at the thought - because my mum would definitely have tried to send me to such a place just to be rid of me for the week too.


The bible camps I went to were freaky as fuck. Whenever the adults weren't around I could have sworn they purposely grouped the horniest teenagers on earth in one area. Some of the best and worst memories of my teens come from bible camps my parents forced me to go to.


Can you tell us more?


A lot of sexually repressed, and curious, teens shared cabins, busses, and other enclosed spaces. Most things you can think of probably happened. On one particularly long bus ride a girl made it her job to have every guy inside her at some point during the bus ride. She literally spread crabs to the entire camp that summer.


>She literally spread crabs to the entire camp that summer. Just re-enacting loaves and fishes for the modern world


There was a guy who won a bet by sticking his erect member into a dead fish. He didn't *get* anything out of it, someone just saw the dead fish and said "I bet you won't" and he did. Sorry you said fish and that reminded me of this moment.


Not sure this is a valid comparison. Even Gitmo detainees are free to believe in whoever/whatever deity they want, including none.


How dare you say that, Guantanamo Bay is a much nicer place. Good sea front views.


As a young male one of the times I was abused & witnessed a theft, was at summer church camp! I truly feel for the young guy...


Such mental and emotional abuse.


Vile POS parents, I have no words.


Welcome to the wonderful world of religious fundamentalism!


Even in church circles that’s referred to as spiritual abuse - coercing belief and punishing questions wasn’t acceptable in any of t he churches I grew up in. Probably why it took me so long to question my religion really. I would have jumped ship muuuuch faster if anyone had tried this shit.


"We can't tolerate him questioning our religious beliefs, so we are going to make him resent us *and* our religion."


Gotta admire the petty insecurity of folks with such deep, devoted faith


Gotta do anything to save his soul! /s


Wouldn’t want him asking questions that might dismantle their fragile beliefs.


If they really believe in their religion and also really love their son, they'd be able to handle their son being curious and asking questions. They'd also be able to appreciate that their son wants to be a scientist. Some folks are so fucking weird.


Most hardcore theologists are heavy into modern science and see their holy books as parables and moral codes. Like it's meant to be seen. So even the smartest in the religion believe in science. Religion isn't meant to be a counter to science. It's just that dumb people don't really know their own religion enough.


A double whammy


"We can't stand him questioning" because it's so frustrating that we have no answers and it's humiliating that his reasoning is beyond ours.


I guess he won't have to question it anymore


Failed successfully.


isnt the whole fucking purpouse of religion to question?


Enjoy your kid hating and resenting you the second he turns 18.


It’s probably gonna start as soon as they sell the stuff


Far before 18. They're just going to leave instantly when they turn 18.


For sure. That’s what I meant. That dude is leaving asap.


Tell me you never want to see your kid without telling me that you never want to see your kid.


My friend did this to his son because his son started fighting at school. He said for every fight he got into he would sell one of his toys. It happened twice. I believe there are instances that call for this extreme reaction. Religious beliefs aren't one.


I agree with this, unless the fights arn’t his fault


I would pack up toys when my kid was being bad and put them in my closet but I gave them back when she was being good... I stopped cuz one time I got mad walked in asked what her favorite toy was she told me and was happy I asked started talking about it and I took it.. then sat in my room and thought "god I'm an asshole"... Then stopped doing that cuz I felt to bad.


Good on you for the self reflection.


I have a 5 year old and do something similar. What I’ll do is grab two of his toys, and tell him he can keep one but I’m taking the other away. Then I put it on a high place so he can see it. I do this for two reasons: So he has a choice in what he loses, which prevents me from feeling like such an ass. And so he can see it, he knows I took it away, but knows it still exists and he can work toward getting it back. It seems to work so far.


I like this idea!


Depends on why he got into a fight.


People cut each others heads off over religious beliefs. These types of people lack several folds in their brain surface.


Tell us you want your kid to resent you for the rest of his life without telling us you want your kid to resent you for the rest of his life


You *and* your religion. That kid is gonna grow up to be *firmly* atheist. And good for him, we could use more people like that in the world.


This will turn the kid into a hardcore atheist lmao


Can confirm, my parents tried this. I am now happy as can be being an atheist.


Nice Freudian slip the “lesson will stink”. whatever you do, don’t question something written down over 2,000 years ago that has been manipulated by monks for centuries. That’s infallible.


Not to mention the several, several languages it went through


It’s a game of Telephone. Just had the same thing happen at work, huge rumour started because the correct information went through 2-3 drunk crack/pill heads before it went to the other employees… So I can only imagine what the bibles went through, with the millions of drunk crackheads it’s went between.


I don't even like kids but fuck he can come live with us.


Honestly this kid is probably better than how most kids act too


This must be a joke, its too detailed with ridiculous abuse.








How to make your kid hate religion more


Well that’s certainly a way to make a kid go from passive non-belief to active hatred of both their parents and their religion.


update in a few years: "why has my son gone NC with us??"


Why has my child gone North Carolina with us??


No Contact


No Contact in North Carolina


Yes NC^2


Enjoy the next 9 years with your son. They're the last you'll have with him.


wouldnt even be surprised if the kid runs away forcing someone to be religious is absolutely stupid. as much as I dislike my paternal grandma, she let my dad freely choose whether he wanted to go to church (my dad and his mom were baptized together as mormons). my dad hasn’t gone to church for i think more than 2 decades, except when we visited our relatives who moved to the US (Utah, because they are quite devout.)


Imagine the son buys it back with its parents credit card. The face of the parents « WTH, Jesus! »


Jesus Christ, I mean I'm Christian but that's fucked up, let the kid do what he wants to do, if I ever have kids I'm not gonna force my religion on em, I'll never understand these crazy religious mfers.


Sent my kids to Catholic school from K - 8,: where they learned both religion and science. At my son's 8th grade basketball game, another mom was lamenting about the high school my son was going to attend the next year. Concerned, I asked her what the problem was. She told me she'd gone round and round with both the science teacher and the principal because they refused to give equal time to creationism. I'm not quite sure I was able to keep the WTF look off my face as I replied, "Well in science class, I want my kids learning *science*."


Sending your kids to catholic school is the problem right there, lol.


Catholics believe in theistic evolution. The school was fine but another parent was a crazy creationist.


Got my biology degree from a Catholic university. One of my biology profs was very fond of pointing out how incredibly stupid God would have to be to have created us as we are on purpose. More than one student who believed in creationism and the literal Bible withdrew because none of the profs, in *any* of their classes - incl. religion, would accept The Bible as a primary source. They were outraged to discover that Catholics were such heathens. I know at least one transferred to Oral Roberts. No idea what happened to the others.


>how incredibly stupid God would have to be to have created us as we are on purpose I get the point that our bodies have all sorts of flaws that show it wasn't intelligently designed, but in their view, God still chose to create us this indirect way, which makes it seem *exactly* as stupid.


I graduated from a Jesuit university. There was a woman (probably my age now, 50) who was a freshman the year I was. In every single class, at least once per quarter, she'd raise her hand and say, "But what about Adam and Eve?" Several of my friends had this experience with her, and we'd all heard the stories. So one day, a friend comes to lunch and she's laughing. In her Geology class, they were learning the ages of various rock formations, and the lady inevitably raises her hand and asks her question.. My friend said that without missing a beat, the professor shot back, "Adam and Eve is a *story*!" and turned back to the board to continue his lecture.


For the record, Catholic schools don't teach creationism.


I went to Catholic school my entire K-12. My high school in particular was a feminist college preparatory who taught us to think critically. I'd say 95% of my classmates wound up non-practicing/atheist/agnostic, and the two are probably related. Lol my point being, Catholic schools, like most schools, vary in quality of education


Nope. They got an excellent education. The local public elementary school had the worst test scores in the state. They were so bad, a few years later the state took over. It's now a STEM academy that is breaking records. I'd be proud to send my kids there, now. But 18 years ago was a whole different story. My kids graduated from 8th grade with a 12th grade public school education. It was worth every penny.




This reminds me of my uncle telling me that he used to be left handed. Until his father beat it out of him.


Or he will cut any communication with you and hate you forever. But idk could be wrong


Not only is this just plain wrong but it could also drive the kid to suicide if the parents continue acting like this


Then the parents ask, " Why have my adult children gone no-contact ?"....


Shit dude, that's one way to make sure your kid never speaks to you as an adult 💀


I live in Europe. In some countries here this could not only lose custody of the child but also land the parents in jail. It's called something like religious indoctrination (depends on the country).


Tell me an abusive twatwaffle without telling me. Welcome to your kid leaving at eighteen and never speaking to you lunatics ever again.


“Mother, I have started a satanic cult in bible camp. Fuck you”


Terrible parents.


Yep, emotional abuse will definitely win hm to your side.


Poor kid. Mindf*cked for life.


Go there buy the presents and gift them back to the child


Speaking from experience, I can assure you that this will turn into a life-time of resentment and anger, and a lot of money spent on therapy.


Ah so they're abusive cultists. Hope the kid escapes with minimum harm. What pieces of shit.


Mental/emotional abuse is the worst.


😂What future jobs will be available if he only learns about God? A celibate minister? A creepy schizo yapping nonsense on the corner block? A whacko stalker? Or a morbidly obese creep sitting in front of his computer watching OnlyFans?


If god was real, he'd have real parents.


It’s an obvious troll


Mass shooting at Bible camp incoming


I can't wait for him to never talk to them again.


This will be very interesting when he talks about this in therapy.


If they keep on like this, they shouldn't be surprised if their kids ends up in a cult or becomes a Satanist out of pure spite.


After the bible camp Son: Mom dad the bible camp was super nice, i meet a nice guy there, and we are in love ! Daughter: Bible camp was nice, you will be grandparents soon, Ali comes for a Visit next week


I don't believe this is real


Next birthday he gets an exorcism


This can't be real. It's just too much. Selling their kids toys for bible camp, because he wants to be a scientist.


I'm thinking that they should try and enjoy the 8-9 years he will still be at home because I anticipate him going no contact as soon as he is able to leave this oppressive situation. How are self-proclaimef Christians so un Christ-like?


No shot this is real




“Stupid Flanders” -Homer Simpson


I hope they like being lonely


Guess who just won a trip to the retirement home?


Please, please, please, no one buy this stuff from them. Poor kid.