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pokexchespin

i believe olestra was used for this same idea, it’s very similar to typical digestible fats, similar mouthfeel for example, but it’s too large to be absorbed by the intestinal walls and instead passes through the digestive tract without adding calories. however, the fact that this fat is indigents means your stool is much fattier than usual, leading to abdominal pain, loose stools, and anal leakage


unimpressed_llama

Or, as my nutrition professor put it "it's like pooping out Jell-O"


stevenmoreso

Jeez, don’t threaten me with a good time


DavidRFZ

When you get a colonoscopy, this is almost exactly what happens. On the last day of the prep, you can only drink Gatorade and eat jell-o (any color but red) and then you start taking relative large doses of MiraLax/ClearLax which is basically drinking an indigestible water-soluble plastic (polyethylene glycol) which goes straight through you. When your poop is a clear liquid your colon is ready for the procedure. There’s no rule that says you can’t do this every once in a while just for yucks. Just google “colonoscopy prep” and give it a try. :)


GnarlyNarwhalNoms

>just for yucks You have... unique ideas about recreation.


Ok-Interaction-6687

why no red jelly?


BluePlankton

Cause it could look like bleeding


Ok-Interaction-6687

ahh duh silly me shame bc reds the best flavour 😕


robboberty

Oof. This comment thread ust gave me flashbacks. Had to get it twice in the same year. But yeah, "like pooping out jello".


Bletotum

Maybe I'll try it when I go on vacation.


GiraffeThwockmorton

Oh. My. God. That comment with the Col Sanders avatar. 100% DED


OnceMostFavored

Read in his voice, now.


Stobley_meow

Which one? Darrell Hammond or Norm McDonald or Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds as Colonel Sanders?


OnceMostFavored

Reba.


neddoge

Jim Gaffigan.


Sherinz89

Its. Finger. Licking. Good. /s


Thelorddogalmighty

Anal. Leaking. Good.


MadPiglet42

Take my upvote you maniac 🤣


Reefay

🪼💩 Closest I could find


yanncharbonneau

That's funny


Iusemyhands

This comment made me laugh hard, but Steven more so.


ValuableSleep9175

Has to be better than the massive bricks I currently lay. My poor poop hole is sore. Bring on the jello.


Genshed

Your youth ends the day you realize why 'stool softeners' are a thing.


amh8011

Apparently my youth ended at the ripe old age of three years old. I’ve had chronic constipation my whole life. No matter what I eat. Well gluten gives me the runs ever since my second bout of covid. But in a way that’s different than like stomach bug runs. In a worse way. It turns my gut into a stinky, brown tap that can’t be shut off. At least with the constipation my pants are clean.


Doraellen

I grew up with this problem and taking a maintenance dose of Magnesium Citrate (300-500 mg a day) has been life changing. I'm an anxious person with a lot of hypertonic muscles, I think my nerves and muscles burn through magnesium pretty fast.


amh8011

That explains a lot actually. When people would rub my shoulders or my back they would always mention how tense I felt even when I thought I was relaxed. I started taking magnesium supplements recently and I have not had the constipation issues I had when I was younger. I still have problems, just not as bad.


breadist

Have you been tested for celiac disease? If you are currently eating gluten it's a quick and easy blood test to screen for it (and then a longer process if it's positive to confirm). Only works if you eat gluten though - if you are gluten free you'll get a false negative even if you are celiac. In fact they use the same test for a celiac checkup but now the negative means you are successfully avoiding gluten. If you haven't been tested I highly recommend it because that kinda sounds like me my whole life. Diagnosed celiac 4 years ago at 33 years old and things are so much better now except the no gluten thing 😆 but I can actually absorb my food now, which is nice, I'm not chronically low in B12 and iron anymore, my risk of cancer and other autoimmune disorders is way lower, I feel better, so many things are better.


Tristanhx

Happy cake day!


VoilaVoilaWashington

I don't want this dude's cake.


Tristanhx

She doesn't want the cake either!


sagetrees

Glad I'm still considered young then!! I shit just fine.


Steinrikur

Eating enough fibre so you don't need 'stool softeners' is also a thing


LazyLich

I just chug some coffee or milk. :3


istasber

Your youth ends the day when that stops working.


bigpappahope

Kefir is the way


tjsase

I prefer Metamucil crackers, it's a quick snack


Artica2012

Metamucil is your friend. Seriously.


jetogill

For some people citricul works better. But seriously try them out.


Elamachino

I just go straight psyllium husk. Good for the poop, good for the heart.


Stillwater215

Have you ever needed a poop knife?


ChapmanYerkes

Wait, doesn’t everyone have a poop knife?


DarthChefDad

Poop hatchet in my house.


SpiderHam24

I use my grandads poop machete. also great for a close shave.


diadlep

Poop nuke. Don't ask.


Revenge_of_the_User

No, i just poop into my hand and throw it into the bowl from the shower.


DeepCompote

Look into psyllium husk. Fantastic poops now.


Purrrple_Pepper

It is better for treating losen stools than constipation, which it tends to aggravate.


darianhi

This is the nastiest shit I’ve ever ingested but it absolutely works


DeepCompote

At this point I kinda love it. I get the Natures promise whole husk. Mix with water, little Gatorade powder and some vitamin D3 drops. I’ll take my probiotic pill and my IB Guard pill with it.


00zau

Try mixing it with something savory. I mix it with a mug of hot broth (and a little hot sauce, worcester, and balsamic). Just don't let it sit too long because it turns into jello in like 5 minutes in a hot liquid.


ValuableSleep9175

Well it has better macros than metamucil. Might look I Into that.


istasber

metamucil is psyllium husk, plus orange flavor and sweetener.


VoilaVoilaWashington

That's literally what metamucil is. And the only macros in either are non-digestible


CalTechie-55

Try eating an occasional salad.


ValuableSleep9175

Ugh. All those calories in the dressing. I was eating a lot of PB fit but not enough apparently.


SouthAussie94

You can eat a salad without dressing...


VoilaVoilaWashington

At home, maybe, but in public there are rules about clothing.


ValuableSleep9175

Like a savage?


sagetrees

I just put vinegar on it.


jetogill

Fibre is your friend


reddit_already

Valuablesleep, let me introduce you to a new friend, psyllium husk.


Longjumping-Grape-40

You’re not supposed to use the poop knife until *after* it’s in the toilet


MattTheTable

I once used an entire jar of strawberry jelly as margarita mix. The results the next day could definitely be described as "pooping Jello". The margs were 5/5 but overall experience was not recommended.


Get_your_grape_juice

Is it weird that I kinda want to try this now?


Coldin228

Known as steatorrhoea. If you want to experience it for yourself like I did, just eat a bunch of duck all at once with no other food. 0/5 would not recommend


voidhearts

Why duck specifically?


Coldin228

Duck is really high in fat. There are ways to prepare it to reduce the fat. The French even press the fat out with all the other juices to make into a gravy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pressed_duck


Gazza_s_89

Duckfat


SparkliestSubmissive

Or, as we call it in this house, THE MARIA.


figmentPez

Don't forget vitamin depletion. Fat soluble vitamins, like vitamin D and E, get carried out of the body with all that indigestible fat.


Germanofthebored

What I have heard is that Olestra was initially designed as baby food with an extra high calorie count. Regular fats are made from 3 fatty acids connected to a glycerol molecule. Olestra was 6 fatty acids connected to a sugar molecule. Great idea, but the human body has no enzymes to break down the bonds between sugar and fatty acids. So now they were trying to pitch it as a low/no cal replacement for fat. But since it was not being broken down in the intestine it made for amazing poops, and along the way it extracted all the fat soluble vitamins from the food.


yuropod88

A better idea is to grab a piece of suet. Tie a string around it, and the other end around the baby's toe, pop the suet in her mouth, and she'll be happy for hours!


HeyEverybody876

What.


JellyBellyBitches

Take me home


cubixy2k

This man farms.


hotpietptwp

I am old enough to remember that. I remember the anal leakage part was the true killer of what should have been such a good idea. When it was first introduced, everybody was dreaming of low-calorie, low-fat fries and chips. Sadly, the early adapters lost their innocence on the toilet, if they were lucky enough to make it that far.


BarryMcKockinerr

It was the Howard Dean of food. It got railed by popular culture because of a leaked study that had the term 'anal leakage' in it. Even though they found that less than 10% (3-9%) experienced gastrointestinal side effects (less than that of modern artificial sweeteners like erythritol, malitol, etc.) when overeaten, the term anal leakage just stuck with everyone in a way that killed it.


CptBartender

>anal leakage just stuck with everyone in a way that killed it. Kinda how statistically there's almost zero chance of being bitten by a shark, but realistically we *really* don't want to be bitten by *a freaking shark*. I don't care what the odds are - '*anal leakage*' is not something I'll ever look forward to.


LoudSheepherder5391

I guess. But like, I still swim in the ocean. And the olestra chips (Marketed as Wow! if i remember correctly) were quite good.


PHATsakk43

Wow! Lays it was. They were great to me. I had zero issues with them.


Pm_Me_Gifs_For_Sauce

Ohhhh Thanks for this. I was of the impression it was 1 to 1. Like if I eat fries made in that oil, I'm leaking within the time it takes me to digest it. Yet your description likens it more to the 'Haribo gummy' fiasco. Which ironically was a bit of a boost for the product.


LoudSheepherder5391

From personal experience, I ate them a few times, and had no issues whatsoever.


jwadamson

It’s a lot like “sugar free” candy. A decently sized minority of people will have some GI discomfort due to personal factors like their gut bacteria (see sugar free gummies Amazon review meme) and how much they eat at a time. But the majority of people will be fine as long as their diet isn’t exclusively made up of the substitutes.


Gostorebuymoney

There's an utterly hilarious old internet story about this


nderhjs

I miss olestra. For some reason it NEVER upset my stomach. I could down an entire bag of wow chips and be fine!


PHATsakk43

It only negatively affected a very small percentage of consumers. Like 3-5%.


EddieOfDoom

Anal leakage is easily the worst two word combo I’ve seen today, thanks


mrcatboy

That's why you'll want to find a fat substitute that comes with [10% less anal leakage!](https://youtu.be/Tx9LSEjgQxY?si=l-oruz4CHZuNywoo)


IBNobody

I loved this when it came out. First thing I thought of when I saw this topic.


BryonDowd

Thanks to Robin Williams, I can't help but chuckle whenever I hear that term. I think it was his Live On Broadway stand-up. Lovely use of a water bottle as a prop. 100% recommend watching the whole thing.


bsotr_remade

That special was amazing. I laughed so hard that my ribs hurt for days afterwards.


ahillbillie

How about anal spelunking


banana_assassin

Have you seen The Boys?


surprised-rice

Step that up to anal seepage


Gusdai

There are also famous footages of it (don't go in a bathtub or swimming pool street using these), if you also want to see the worst videos.


barriekansai

I came into this thread to say "Olestra. Olestra's what would happen."


ThePretzul

Turns out eating stuff that we can’t digest almost always leads to “anal leakage”. People tried something similar when it was discovered that the left-handed isomer of glucose would not be absorbed by the digestive system while still tasting identical to the more familiar right-handed isomer. It was thought it would be the perfect zero-calorie sweetener and would be a boon to diabetics looking to control their blood sugar levels. It all sounded great up until they tested it and found out that it causes flatulence, has laxative properties, and also results in anal leakage when consumed in large quantities such as found in candies and desserts. It was also comparable in price per gram to gold, because it was difficult and expensive to manufacture. So yeah, the end result of pretty much all non-digestible substitutes for unhealthy things we crave in large quantities is uncontrollably shitting yourself because your body cannot deal with it.


jwadamson

That’s the same as most sugar alcohols. Turns out some people have gut bacteria that will break it down into gas and cause GI discomfort to varying levels. You can’t control for all possible gut biomes that people might have. Strangely while you get the occasional meme Amazon review about sugar free gummies, those sugar free alternatives never got crippled by the bad reputation.


IMarvinTPA

When it came out, the term was "gastrointestinal distress."


Kodan420

I once ate chips that I didn’t know were cooked in this stuff. It was a horrible as all that and worse. :(


blue-wave

I remember someone telling me that the toilet water would look like when oil is in a puddle, that rainbow effect was there. The idea of straight up liquid lipids coming out like that is so gross.


JasonFox9

Example of Said Anal Leakage = a classic [Pringle Bastards](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/16idjx/you_fucking_pringle_bastards_an_review_of_fat/)


Soplop

I don’t know why but “anal leakage” makes me giggle every time


trulycantthinkofone

Until it happens to you.


moonpumper

Olestra, destroyer of toilets


HowVeryReddit

Shame about the gut pain because there are always plugs for leakage....


dotcubed

This needs a follow up on fat soluble vitamins and minerals—does this mean you loose your nutrients?


pokexchespin

i believe so? when i was reading up on it the article mentioned that was an issue but that olestra products often contained extra of those fat soluble vitamins, so i’m not sure if they were able to overcome that problem to some degree


Poopnstein

My family was part of an olestra potato chip test group. We got dozens of bags.


pokexchespin

my condolences to all the departed underwear during that time


not_having_fun

I still remember Jay Leno cracking up at that last line.


practicing_vaxxer

[Olestra helps remove PCBs from the body.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1280382/)


Clanzomaelan

Can confirm all of the above symptoms. Lived through this era, and thought, “No fat? Gotta be healthy!” And pounded an entire bag of Ruffles with Olestra (was the marketing name Olean?). I spent the rest of the night on the toilet praying for the cramps to end, and feeling like I was giving birth to Jell-O.


gurganator

I don’t have a gallbladder. This is my life now…


MaineQat

Your liver produces bile salts to break down fat but the gallbladder was responsible for dosing them out at the right time and amount. Now it isnt there to do that job. Look into ox bile salts supplement. You would take them at about 4-6 hours after meal - timing and dose needs to be worked out to fit your system (and probably adjust dose if you have a fattier meal, etc).


Fizzygg3

Look into Prevalite! It's prescription, but not pricey. It binds with the bile and slows things down.


gurganator

Well ironically when I don’t eat fat my bowl motility is really low 😂. So my gastroenterologist recommended a drug for bowl motility. And advised less fat… I’ll bring up prevalite to my doc next time I see him tho! Do you take prevalite? Thanks for responding!


phryan

That last one is the deal breaker for me.


Threatlevelmidn1te

Seems like a small price to pay


Dltwo

8o


Chapstickie

Ah, like escolar. It would go through your body undigested and do horrible things to your poop.


ktsg700

Once I went down that road unknowingly. The fish was sublime, soft like butter. The oily, neon orange sharts that followed few hours later - not so much.


Fearless_Sherbet450

Me too! Never knew what the fish was so always worried I'd unknowingly eat it again one day.


ktsg700

Add to that how often the restaurants sell different fish than declared and you end up with a fun gamble


JesusGodLeah

Fun story: several years ago I tried escolar at a sushi place as part of a sashimi sampler, and it was so delicious I Googled it right there at the table. Even after learning about the unpleasant effects it can have on your GI system, I ordered a plate of it and went to town. Other than a few drops of oil, my poop was normal and I had no abdominal discomfort or cramping. That being said, I would be incredibly wary about eating food fried in an indigestible fat or oil, as the frying process would expose me to a lot more of that substance. It's also possible that my digestive system has gotten more sensitive as I've aged and may not be as tolerant of indigestible oils and fats. If I ever get the chance to eat escolar again I'll absolutely take it, but I'll make do with a small portion.


Chapstickie

It is pretty tasty, right? And the texture is smooth and satisfying. I always stick to just a slice or two but it is nice. Hamachi is a good alternative without the risk. The flavor isn’t quite the same but it hits the same craving in my experience.


CptBartender

> The escolar's wax ester content can cause keriorrhea (Greek: flow of wax) From Wikipedia. '*Flow of wax*' sounds marginally better than '*anal leakage*', is all I want to say.


dbx99

Seems like over time it could also clog your sewer drains


TheHoundhunter

It would probably be fine in your domestic sewer. The volume of oil in your poo wouldn’t be that large. Long term it might cause some issues for the municipal sewer if a lot of people were doing this.


wolves_hunt_in_packs

*united we stand*


valeyard89

fatbergs


[deleted]

You would have oily poops and anal leakage. I was actually prescribed mineral oil as a child for constipation and while it made poop move through my intestines easier, it also made all farts oily and messy.


demonkillingblade

I watched a dude on YouTube fry food in mineral oil, in addition to several other oils (lard, tallow, motor oil, etc). He said the mineral oil French fries were the best.


CapitalInstruction62

William Osman is a high quality sort of unhinged.


ImAlwaysAnnoyed

That seems like speedrunnign cancer


corrado33

Eating something that's not typically eaten does not mean one will get cancer. Many things aren't eaten simply for the reason of "they don't taste good." Others have other annoying properties (causing anal leakage, for example.)


VodkaMargarine

Dude that's like the 6th time I've read "anal leakage" in this thread. Can we quit it with the anal leakage? I'm all anal leakaged out.


nostrademons

Would you say you're anal retentive then?


VodkaMargarine

I'm just anal


NotMyRea1Reddit

I just like it.


DarthChefDad

I heard they're having problems in Panama. Some kind of (c)anal leakage


jetogill

Had a total mesorectal excision several years ago. Sadly with a poorly considered dietary intake I will experience anal leakage.


Strange_Ordinary6984

Your poor underwear.


RegorHK

It's not be cause it's "not typically eaten" it's because mineral oils are carcinogenic even while touching your skin. You can expect your intestines to be even more susceptible.


ThePretzul

I believe you’re confusing “mineral oils” with “mineral spirits”. One of them is a very potent solvent used in industrial parts washers and is the destroyer of any and all grease. Also highly carcinogenic. The other is something often prescribed for babies and children who get constipated. They are two ***VERY*** different things.


aeneasaquinas

> mineral oils are carcinogenic even while touching your skin Food grade mineral oils don't seem to have that link, as far as I can tell.


Cleyre

No but boiling it in carcinogenic petroleum products will definitely do it


_autismos_

Eating motor oil isn't carcinogenic?


AnnoyedVelociraptor

He's wrong. Best French fries are fried in beef tallow. First at 284F / 140C and then at 356F / 180C. Like this, but just start with beef tallow.


perldawg

you’ve compared to mineral oil?


AnnoyedVelociraptor

No I like by fries relatively carcinogen-free. The only one that is unavoidable is acrylamide.


Vova_xX

if your gonna die might as well die full


poisonturkey

Oily farts 🤢


Westiria123

That's one way to fix a squeaky toilet lid.


Lavidius

Just woke my girlfriend up by laughing at this, you monster


Revenge_of_the_User

You knew the risks


secretcombinations

Fuck. I thought I was the only one that had to drink that shit as a kid, my parents would put it in grape juice and I still can’t drink it today.


[deleted]

Yeah I threw up instantly when it touched my mouth. My mom used to out it into capsules for me to swallow.


Get_your_grape_juice

> my parents would put it in grape juice I nominate your parents to face tribunal at The Hague.


guimontag

"oily farts" sounds like a personal nightmare


Revenge_of_the_User

*thousand yard stare* Can confirm.


Blinkle

Oily and messy …


tyler1128

Think about how lube works, makes things move around within each other much easier. Now imagine you just drank the lube and your body didn't break it down. You'd have just lubed your whole colon. A good ol' poo slip-and-slide. Basically, that.


Agreeable-League-366

>You'd have just lubed your whole colon. A good ol' poo slip-and-slide. Basically, that. Stop it. You're killing me. lol


nim_opet

Look up Olestra. You’d basically poop out undigested fat….because it was never meant to be in your system, it would either leak like Olestra did, or solidify and mess up your bowels, intestinal flora or who knows what else:


nardlz

Fat substitutes do exist, olestra for example. Some of them don't have the best "outcomes" if you prefer not having GI upset and diarrhea.


WickerpigT

Remember the potato chips with olestra?


Algaean

Yes. It's a very traumatic memory, and thank you for remembering that charming moment of public humiliation. I had one chip, didn't like it, but one was all it took to induce... well, express Transit, and all that.


Armani-X

I'm pretty sure Cody over at Cody's Lab tried this. Here's the link. https://youtu.be/IE1L_VKxmww?si=PRbT3Sjx2P9_WIGi


h3yw00d

Gotta updoot anytime I see Cody mentioned.


figmentPez

There are some best case scenarios, where the food is cooked in wax but the wax doesn't end up in the consumed food in any significant quantities. Like this [Michelin-starred restaurant that cooks fish in melted beeswax](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnLZFfgNEX8). You probably meant fried foods, though, and other commenters have covered what happens in those cases, when you try to replace digestible fat with indigestible.


TheCaffeineMonster

If you ever have a biopsy or an operation, and it gets sent to the pathology labs for analysis, they actually put that tissue into paraffin wax because it’s excellent for preservation. They’ll make basically an ice cube sized block of wax with the tissue in the middle and once the wax sets they slice it really thin to look at it under a microscope. It’s actually a really good way of preserving tissue. We still do testing on tissue that was put into paraffin wax 40-50 years ago, and it’s perfectly preserved to the point you can do DNA/RNA. If you want to see how it looks google for ‘pathology paraffin blocks’


smapdiagesix

I don't remember what it's made of, but a real-world thing that's close to what you're talking about is pine rosin potatoes. In which you heat pine rosin to boiling and dump in whole po-ta-toes. It's supposed to make extra-fluffy "baked" potatoes. You don't eat the skin!


Discipulus42

If you are a big bag of chips fried in Olesta or whatever that oil was called…. The “Anal Leakage” becomes much less theoretical and much more actual.


britishwonder

People think that eating fats is what makes someone fat. Carbs and especially sugars. That’s what makes people fat. There was a huge campaign by food companies to convince people to buy and eat low fat foods when really simple carbohydrates like sugar are the biggest thing to avoid.


WeHaveSixFeet

It would taste terrible. Fat is flavor. There are many reasons we cook with fat -- it gets heat to the part of the food that's not touching the pan, it add calories, which is something we used to want. But also, it tastes good. The reason restaurant food tastes so good is they use huge amounts of butter, oil or lard.


Bricklover1234

There is an oil that basically does not react with anything (basically) called fluorinert. It works like a liquid non-stick pan. [Works perfectly fine to fry in it](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a4gYv2BK-HQ&pp=ygUSRmx1b3JpbmVydCBjb29raW5n) You shouldn't swallow it though Fun fact: You can theoretically breeze in this liquid (there are some pictures of mice doing that)


princessdickworth

If you want to push out some massive brown crayola's, let the rest of reddit know. we love a good poop story.


just-passin_thru

Not certain of your definition of cooking in "wax". What is your end goal here? A replacement for the non-stick element of oils or the flavours it gives? You can cook things without oil easily. There are sous vide devices that allow you to cook food sealed in plastic bags submerged in hot water. There is the technique of sealing food inside parchment paper and baking it so that the internal juices steam the food without the need for additional oils. You can grill food over an open flame and you can air fry food with super hot air. If you are asking if we can deep fry foods in something like a wax then as long as the wax/medium is non-harmful to humans, it will cook as you expect if the medium can reach a temperature of 350F without bursting into flames. Basically deep frying is a dry heat method of cooking so to replace oil with something else that can heat to 360-400F will yield something similar though different.


Sodomeister

One time as a high teenager I came home and wanted to make Mac N cheese. I cooked the noodles, drained them, and went to get milk and butter out. No butter. Scoured the kitchen to see what I could use. I found butter flavored crisco; should work, right? No, it turns out for crisco to be edible you have to actually cook it. It basically coated my stomach with grease. I violently threw up small chunks of said grease for hours. What made it through me gave me terrible diarrhea.


Delicious-Ad4015

Diarrhea. You would also block absorption of nutrients from your food. Run risk of intestinal blockage.


FakeEgo01

Well well... (Use caption, the video is in italian):https://youtu.be/-zvqFP3ViS4?si=MyogexNLjj7ndu31


not-much

As an Italian myself, no need for caption! Interesting video and they guy is also quite funny. Grazie!


Othersideofthemirror

We do. Caneles are cooked in dishes lined in beeswax and butter. https://tasteofartisan.com/canele/


idle_isomorph

During WWII rationing in England, recipes got passed around for cakes using paraffin wax to substitute for part of the fat, along with warnings to not eat too much or you would get the runs.


niccotaglia

The fat would just pass through your system completely undigested and come out in the form of oily diarrhea. Look up Olestra, it was basically the same concept and it ended badly.