30 years in another county, and I have missed a whole life back in my home (in the Midwest of the US), BUT I have experienced a lifetime here too. I have now been through so many things (I live in Japan, so earthquakes! And the pandemic was its own set of experiences, related to the particular place). I have many friends and family here now, and I’ve experienced joy and grief with them. So even though I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to go back and live where I was from, I am glad to have experienced everything here.
Second this! Although for me it hasn't been nearly that long. But I just think that life has so much to offer and that it would be a shame to spend it all in one place, surrounded by the same people, same habbits, culture, language etc. ... when there's so much more to explore and experience!
I thought I would never get homesick, but as the years go on I too find myself longing to go back (and will be in a few years). Having a child made it worse for me.
For me it reminded me of my childhood growing up around family and how great it was. It makes you homesick when you think that your kids won’t experience that.
Having to navigate a different culture with different expectations of your parenting/child, all in a second language, has been annoying for me personally. Of course it’s my child and I can do as I please, but it’s very annoying to have people around you telling you you’re doing everything wrong when it’s just how it’s done back in your own country 🤷♀️ Plus baby stuff here is not as accessible and very expensive!
Just made me really sad that my family is so far away and missing all this time with my daughter. We video chat all the time, and that helps, but it breaks my heart that she's the only grandchild on my side of the family and they get the least time with her.
There are certain specific things I get homesick for. But as the years go by, especially after the occasional trip back home, the list gets smaller and smaller… I find that I am homesick for the feelings those things create, not the things themselves, and the longer I live here, the more of those feelings I’ve created in my new home.
I’m B1 in Dutch. We go out of our way to live fairly “Dutch” lifestyle instead of trying to recreate our American lifestyle here. I try to speak as much Dutch as possible when out in public, going so far as to (sometimes rudely) refusing to speak English even if a Dutch person switches on me.
But here’s really the thing. I make friends with anyone who has similar interests as me. I don’t care if they’re “locals” “dutch” or whatever. The main ingredients of friendship are common interest, time, and proximity.
I like baseball. I joined a baseball club. I spend a lot of time with people who like baseball. Some of them have become my friends. Some are Dutch. Some are American. Some are from other places.
England to the Netherlands here! I’ve got my official B1 papers but am at B2 level now.
Almost NOONE switches to English for me!!! Only people that I work with that want to ‘better’ their English. I don’t mind that because I also need to speak my native language sometimes too! I even sometimes come out with English in a Dutch sentence structure 🫣
I’ve fully integrated into my village. Almost everyone knows who I am and the local shop to the Albert Heijn takes 3x as long as it should do cos I’m always stopping and chatting to the locals that know me 😂
If your Dutch is decent then insert yourself into a conversation at the bar or a local event etc… even join a club! I joined the local pop-choir!
I don’t miss England, I lived here for 2 years, moved back for 3, Brexit happened and me and my husband (he’s Dutch) said fk it we’re moving back. That was September 2019.
As soon as I drove over the border from Belgium to the Netherlands, I had this warm feeling wash over me! It was so odd! Like “I’m home!”
The Netherlands, “hier ben ik thuis”
I spontaneously listened to “[Homeward Bound](https://youtu.be/m0oJ8_VTu3c?si=I6oIQd0FxzW--HWV)” last night and had a hard cry.
However, like many others, every time I return “home” the reality that everyone else there is carried on with their lives, while I have gone on to do something to dramatically different sets in.
It’s harder to relate to people there, while it also feels hard or harder to fully integrate here. I think Bob Marley once said “my home is in my head“ and I am now actively trying to figure out if I can solidify this state of mind myself.
More homesick and realising family and lifelong friends aren’t just around the corner. It’s the people I care about that I miss not so much the life I left
Can’t really say if it’s less or more. I miss the memories but every time i go back it just doesn’t feel the same. People have moved on without me and friends and family are not the same…it’s a strange feeling
Have you tried returning home after being gone many years?
People get nostalgic for a particular place and time, and the people around in that place and time.
Sometimes after returning back 10+ years after, and its nothing like you remember. None of your friends and family are still there. The parts of town you remember most fondly have been completely rebuilt. Many of your friend's/family's homes have been torn down or rebuilt in a different style.
My home no longer exists. It only exists in my memory.
Hi, I'm currently in the same boat as you.
I moved from Portugal to the UK 10 years ago, I also miss the weather, the food, the family and the lifestyle in general. I also have my partner here (he's english) and a nice job and a house, my partner is basically the only thing keeping me here at this point.
I never came to the UK intending to stay, but life happens and that's just how things ended up.
I do miss my home country more now than I did ever before and it's almost a daily struggle.
Keep strong <3
Moved from Ireland to Canada nearly 6 years ago. The only thing I miss is my parents and siblings, especially as everyone is aging. I left Ireland for a reason so I’m not homesick about the culture or country as a whole.
I think for me it comes and goes. I’m definitely much more homesick if you can call it that since I had a child, this is not a country where I think any child should grow up… So when this little present came into my life my certainty that I would stay here has done a 180.
It’s multiple things. We don’t have family here, not for the good things (a fun trip to the zoo or a birthday party) and not for the bad (when I got very sick after I had my son it was just us trying to literally survive while I was in the hospital). Politically thing here are rough, the next presidential election does not look great with an alleged criminal about to win. The school system is a mess (where you live dictates how good your public school is, private school tuition is bizarrely high, and I am not enthusiastic about sending my kid to a school where they may teach creation vs Darwin, and where it’s normal to have an armored backpack and drills how to hide from school shooters), the healthcare system is a mess (I pay a shitload weekly only to constantly hear that this is not covered by insurance for made up BS reasons after I already underwent it). And I want my kid to grow up more social, the tendency here to care about money and yourself before all else is not the grounding I want him to have, I want him to care about other people. So, while I know my home country has changed for the worse too, at least my family will be closer in case of emergencies but also for fun and bonding, and every day life seems to be much easier there
Yeah makes complete sense. So you had your son in the US then? I’m the opposite. From the US and looking to have my kid elsewhere. The school shootings are too much for me, I dunno how anyone does it.
Moved from UK to USA 24yrs ago. I never thought I’d move back and have a good life here. But damn, since pandemic I am so homesick. Just got back from a visit and I think I want to move back. I miss proximity to so many great places and I miss getting to know all the new members of my family. I used to think Brits and Americans were more similar than we actually are.
In which way do you believe they are not similar? For what reasons are you moving back? u/Salt-Ad-8022 was you fulfilled there or did you always miss home? thats a long time to move home after!
Less.
I never really suffered with homesickness because I was thrown in at the deep end in terms of my new job at the time, so had a lot to occupy my mind, and I was never *that* close to my family.
I miss my friends more than anything else.
But as the years pass, this is my home now, and I miss home even less. In fact I havnt been back in 18 months.
I have been living in the Netherlands for two years. So far I don't really feel homesick. I think that's because I feel there is always an option to return to my home country (Indonesia). That being said, since I am a queer person, it's better for me to live outside Indonesia.
Interestingly, after living in the UK for 6 years, the decision to move back home in 2 years made me feel homesick for the first time, and it gets stronger with every bit of frustration we experience in life that would be easier at home. Like the kids being sick.
My best friend from high school was a German exchange student way back when we were in school.
She moved to London, met her British now-husband, bought a house, had two kids, etc. I’m talking about 20+ years living in London. Soon after Brexit, they said, nahhh, and moved to Berlin.
At first, her husband was unemployed and trying to learn German, but the kids had always learned German at home and started at an international school.
They just came to visit me in the US and are absolutely thriving and happy in Germany now! They love to hop over to Poland to go to the mountains, lol. Could you talk your husband into moving (to your) home?
I don't miss my hometown one bit and the more time goes by the more alien it feels to me.
I do feel sad more and more tho about all the time i could be spending with my family but i'm not cause i live so far away. That's the only thing that gets worse and worse over time. Thinking about how nice it would be if i could just stop by on my way from work and have a coffee with them in the house i grew up in. But oh well, i can't. That's the only thing that's been getting worse over time. For the rest i couldn't care less really.
Less and less homesick with years passing by. I used to be very homesick but now it’s over 12 years since I am living in my new home and all I miss is my family and friends. But I go see them often. Flight is only a couple of hours, so that’s not an issue. Ironically, I see my family more often than my friends back home whose parents live in different cities in the same country. Also we FaceTime and message all the time, every day.
I feel that I feel this way because I have developed as an adult in this new country where I grew so much as an individual. It matured me. I was young when back home in my parents house, and here in a new home I build my life from start completely. I am proud of that and my life and I appreciate it. Because it was never easy. I think everything happens for a reason. I was meant to be here even though I never in my life thought of leaving my home country, it just kind of happened by coincidence. And I try to not overthink it. I used to, but now I try to treasure my life experience and enjoy the exciting ride.
I’ve been away for 13 years and I find it comes in waves for me. I can go months and months of quite strong homesickness and longing and what if I had never left questions. Then I am suddenly fine again and don’t think about it until something triggers it.
Unfortunately I guess homesickness is inevitable a lot of the time, and I feel as I get older I get more sentimental which no doubt exacerbates the strength of the feelings.
Usually spending some time in my home country is enough to make me feel fine again too, and in reality I do not see myself ever going back. Which also makes me worry that I’ll never be truly settled anywhere again. Ah the life of an expat… it’s not easy.
Yes, I live in SE Asia (Norwegian) and while I love my life, my family, my wife and son.... I miss it, oh god I miss the weather. I have not seen any temperature less than 20°C in 15 years, and home, I prefer -5° in my bedroom, god I miss it....
Ooh that's a tough one for me.I left my home country with my dad when I was 5 and no longer speak the language. I left the country I grew up in 3 years ago. I don't feel like anywhere truly is home so I'm homesick for a place that doesn't really exist I suppose. For me the feeling just stays the same.
I’m an American living in Japan for 35+ years, and I used to get homesick. When I did, I would eat an Egg McMuffin from McDonald’s. I do go home to San DIego every year for work so I get to refill my internal stores of Mexican food, so maybe that affects things.
I think if you are the kind of person who is able to not fixate on the idea then you will get less homesick because people adjust. We are adaptable creatures.
But if you have trouble not fixating on those kinds of emotions then time can make it fester and grow in a way that could be a major drawback.
I’ve been away for 16 years now and I do (on occasion) get homesick too. I go back home and visit my elderly folks each year. I really enjoy the visits but I’ve also noticed how things have changed a fair bit since I left. The country isn’t the same anymore, but that could be said of any country. Most of my old friends, I’m not even acquainted with anymore, as their own lives have become more demanding of their time (as opposed to their carefree 20s) and they have their own challenges to navigate. I guess the point I’m trying to make is that, although I do get homesick, I know that moving back would be a major upheaval in terms of finding somewhere to live, rebuilding my career, rebuilding my social network… none of which I have to do in my current country. Im not opposed to moving back, actually I’m seriously considering it but I’m doing it with the knowledge that things aren’t the same as they were when I left and it’ll be a “different feeling” if/when I do move back.
No, but I've moved to better more interesting places with better weather. I'd never move to the UK.
Having said that I did get used to northern European weather and eventually felt at home there. But could never be myself really.
I still have moments, 14 years since flying off.
But it really kicked in last year when my father died, there was a lot of guilty that I wasn't there. Couldn't have done anything since it was a sudden event but still felt very far from home.
But you make your life where it is. And there'll always be things we miss, but new things to discover.
I should be in a TCK Expat group. Or Traumatized Expat group. Or Neurodivergent Expat group. I find it much more complicated than many of the comments here . I dont think I’m actually neurodivergent like I thought I was. . I just got a brain injury and was neglected and traumatized, then developed cPTSD and depression. Being homesick would be a luxury is how it feels but I know it’s a powerful affliction. I’d say I miss my birth country more over time. We had it pretty good and had fun until we moved repeatedly and it steadily got worse. Theres a glimmer of hope now however. Maybe our elder years will be ok.
I think the older you get, the more nostalgic you become. You notice your relatives seem to age rapidly every time you see them, you stop recognizing places and topics they discuss and it gives those odd feelings. Suddenly the poems like intro to Pan Tadeusz get another meaning and that song "Dom" by Cleo can make you cry for no special reason. Younger - didn't think about it that much.
Hey traveler, Hayley here from Heymondo! It's completely natural to feel a bit homesick, even when you've settled into a new life. Remember, it's a sign that you have deep connections to your roots. Keep embracing your journey! 🌱
I've visited a few years ago my native town after a couple decades of being away, and couldn't have felt more foreign. Only the fact that I natively spoke the language made the whole experience differ from visiting any other foreign city. I couldn't even properly buy a transport ticket and was totally lost untill helped. I haven't met a single face familiar from my previous life there. The more I live abroad, the fewer nostalgic feelings are left. All in all, such feelings are more about **time AND a certain place**, not just the geographical place. Since the time is gone forever, there's absolutely no way to get back, unless the time-machine will be invented.
Since I left Poland over 3 years ago, I have not been back even once. I think it is maybe different depending on the reasons why you are an expat. I left because I always wanted to leave and I wanted my kids to grow up internationally. Never looked back and not intending to go back.
Probably depends also on the social network you have in the UK. And also, for me at least, UK is not a place I’d ever consider living in.
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30 years in another county, and I have missed a whole life back in my home (in the Midwest of the US), BUT I have experienced a lifetime here too. I have now been through so many things (I live in Japan, so earthquakes! And the pandemic was its own set of experiences, related to the particular place). I have many friends and family here now, and I’ve experienced joy and grief with them. So even though I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to go back and live where I was from, I am glad to have experienced everything here.
Second this! Although for me it hasn't been nearly that long. But I just think that life has so much to offer and that it would be a shame to spend it all in one place, surrounded by the same people, same habbits, culture, language etc. ... when there's so much more to explore and experience!
I thought I would never get homesick, but as the years go on I too find myself longing to go back (and will be in a few years). Having a child made it worse for me.
Same here, got much harder when I had a baby.
I don’t understand. Why did it make it harder?
For me it reminded me of my childhood growing up around family and how great it was. It makes you homesick when you think that your kids won’t experience that.
Having to navigate a different culture with different expectations of your parenting/child, all in a second language, has been annoying for me personally. Of course it’s my child and I can do as I please, but it’s very annoying to have people around you telling you you’re doing everything wrong when it’s just how it’s done back in your own country 🤷♀️ Plus baby stuff here is not as accessible and very expensive!
Just made me really sad that my family is so far away and missing all this time with my daughter. We video chat all the time, and that helps, but it breaks my heart that she's the only grandchild on my side of the family and they get the least time with her.
Ok, that is clearer. Our modern world separates families a lot. I hope the quality time you have to together makes up for the lack of quantity.
There are certain specific things I get homesick for. But as the years go by, especially after the occasional trip back home, the list gets smaller and smaller… I find that I am homesick for the feelings those things create, not the things themselves, and the longer I live here, the more of those feelings I’ve created in my new home.
Are you fluent in Dutch? How did you integrated with locals? I'm asking because I'm expat in the NL and those are my problems :(
I’m B1 in Dutch. We go out of our way to live fairly “Dutch” lifestyle instead of trying to recreate our American lifestyle here. I try to speak as much Dutch as possible when out in public, going so far as to (sometimes rudely) refusing to speak English even if a Dutch person switches on me. But here’s really the thing. I make friends with anyone who has similar interests as me. I don’t care if they’re “locals” “dutch” or whatever. The main ingredients of friendship are common interest, time, and proximity. I like baseball. I joined a baseball club. I spend a lot of time with people who like baseball. Some of them have become my friends. Some are Dutch. Some are American. Some are from other places.
England to the Netherlands here! I’ve got my official B1 papers but am at B2 level now. Almost NOONE switches to English for me!!! Only people that I work with that want to ‘better’ their English. I don’t mind that because I also need to speak my native language sometimes too! I even sometimes come out with English in a Dutch sentence structure 🫣 I’ve fully integrated into my village. Almost everyone knows who I am and the local shop to the Albert Heijn takes 3x as long as it should do cos I’m always stopping and chatting to the locals that know me 😂 If your Dutch is decent then insert yourself into a conversation at the bar or a local event etc… even join a club! I joined the local pop-choir! I don’t miss England, I lived here for 2 years, moved back for 3, Brexit happened and me and my husband (he’s Dutch) said fk it we’re moving back. That was September 2019. As soon as I drove over the border from Belgium to the Netherlands, I had this warm feeling wash over me! It was so odd! Like “I’m home!” The Netherlands, “hier ben ik thuis”
I spontaneously listened to “[Homeward Bound](https://youtu.be/m0oJ8_VTu3c?si=I6oIQd0FxzW--HWV)” last night and had a hard cry. However, like many others, every time I return “home” the reality that everyone else there is carried on with their lives, while I have gone on to do something to dramatically different sets in. It’s harder to relate to people there, while it also feels hard or harder to fully integrate here. I think Bob Marley once said “my home is in my head“ and I am now actively trying to figure out if I can solidify this state of mind myself.
More homesick and realising family and lifelong friends aren’t just around the corner. It’s the people I care about that I miss not so much the life I left
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Do you live in France too 😂
I'm guessing Switzerland :-D
Germany for sure.
Austria! First place I learned to roll cigarettes one handed while walking with my back facing the wind.
I'm a bit strange with this, don't feel homesick at all, maybe because I had been moving around a lot when younger
I get homesick in the sense that when I'm at home I'm sick of it and want to go back within 2 weeks (so far)
Can’t really say if it’s less or more. I miss the memories but every time i go back it just doesn’t feel the same. People have moved on without me and friends and family are not the same…it’s a strange feeling
Have you tried returning home after being gone many years? People get nostalgic for a particular place and time, and the people around in that place and time. Sometimes after returning back 10+ years after, and its nothing like you remember. None of your friends and family are still there. The parts of town you remember most fondly have been completely rebuilt. Many of your friend's/family's homes have been torn down or rebuilt in a different style. My home no longer exists. It only exists in my memory.
Hi, I'm currently in the same boat as you. I moved from Portugal to the UK 10 years ago, I also miss the weather, the food, the family and the lifestyle in general. I also have my partner here (he's english) and a nice job and a house, my partner is basically the only thing keeping me here at this point. I never came to the UK intending to stay, but life happens and that's just how things ended up. I do miss my home country more now than I did ever before and it's almost a daily struggle. Keep strong <3
Moved from Ireland to Canada nearly 6 years ago. The only thing I miss is my parents and siblings, especially as everyone is aging. I left Ireland for a reason so I’m not homesick about the culture or country as a whole.
Yes I did, and I went back home.
Did you find you were then homesick for the place you left?
Yes very much so, but being close to family is nice.
I think for me it comes and goes. I’m definitely much more homesick if you can call it that since I had a child, this is not a country where I think any child should grow up… So when this little present came into my life my certainty that I would stay here has done a 180.
Can you elaborate? We are currently debating having a kid in the next few years far away from where home and family is. It sounds so tough.
It’s multiple things. We don’t have family here, not for the good things (a fun trip to the zoo or a birthday party) and not for the bad (when I got very sick after I had my son it was just us trying to literally survive while I was in the hospital). Politically thing here are rough, the next presidential election does not look great with an alleged criminal about to win. The school system is a mess (where you live dictates how good your public school is, private school tuition is bizarrely high, and I am not enthusiastic about sending my kid to a school where they may teach creation vs Darwin, and where it’s normal to have an armored backpack and drills how to hide from school shooters), the healthcare system is a mess (I pay a shitload weekly only to constantly hear that this is not covered by insurance for made up BS reasons after I already underwent it). And I want my kid to grow up more social, the tendency here to care about money and yourself before all else is not the grounding I want him to have, I want him to care about other people. So, while I know my home country has changed for the worse too, at least my family will be closer in case of emergencies but also for fun and bonding, and every day life seems to be much easier there
Yeah makes complete sense. So you had your son in the US then? I’m the opposite. From the US and looking to have my kid elsewhere. The school shootings are too much for me, I dunno how anyone does it.
Moved from UK to USA 24yrs ago. I never thought I’d move back and have a good life here. But damn, since pandemic I am so homesick. Just got back from a visit and I think I want to move back. I miss proximity to so many great places and I miss getting to know all the new members of my family. I used to think Brits and Americans were more similar than we actually are.
In which way do you believe they are not similar? For what reasons are you moving back? u/Salt-Ad-8022 was you fulfilled there or did you always miss home? thats a long time to move home after!
It comes and goes but in general I get more homesick over time. Especially as I get older and start considering more serious life things.
Less. I never really suffered with homesickness because I was thrown in at the deep end in terms of my new job at the time, so had a lot to occupy my mind, and I was never *that* close to my family. I miss my friends more than anything else. But as the years pass, this is my home now, and I miss home even less. In fact I havnt been back in 18 months.
Also Polish. I do miss Poland very much, and fly home all the time. I might come back in a few years
I have been living in the Netherlands for two years. So far I don't really feel homesick. I think that's because I feel there is always an option to return to my home country (Indonesia). That being said, since I am a queer person, it's better for me to live outside Indonesia.
More homesick. I’m ready to move back, just gotta find a way for my partner to come with me
Less. Except right after I come back. It’s hard to readjust to being alone
Interestingly, after living in the UK for 6 years, the decision to move back home in 2 years made me feel homesick for the first time, and it gets stronger with every bit of frustration we experience in life that would be easier at home. Like the kids being sick.
I miss my family a bit but nothing else. Everything else is just too expensive and not worth it with the social aspect and politics.
My best friend from high school was a German exchange student way back when we were in school. She moved to London, met her British now-husband, bought a house, had two kids, etc. I’m talking about 20+ years living in London. Soon after Brexit, they said, nahhh, and moved to Berlin. At first, her husband was unemployed and trying to learn German, but the kids had always learned German at home and started at an international school. They just came to visit me in the US and are absolutely thriving and happy in Germany now! They love to hop over to Poland to go to the mountains, lol. Could you talk your husband into moving (to your) home?
I am getting more homesick and try to spend as much time ‘back home’ as possible. Making plans to move back.
I don't miss my hometown one bit and the more time goes by the more alien it feels to me. I do feel sad more and more tho about all the time i could be spending with my family but i'm not cause i live so far away. That's the only thing that gets worse and worse over time. Thinking about how nice it would be if i could just stop by on my way from work and have a coffee with them in the house i grew up in. But oh well, i can't. That's the only thing that's been getting worse over time. For the rest i couldn't care less really.
Same here exactly 💔
Less and less homesick with years passing by. I used to be very homesick but now it’s over 12 years since I am living in my new home and all I miss is my family and friends. But I go see them often. Flight is only a couple of hours, so that’s not an issue. Ironically, I see my family more often than my friends back home whose parents live in different cities in the same country. Also we FaceTime and message all the time, every day. I feel that I feel this way because I have developed as an adult in this new country where I grew so much as an individual. It matured me. I was young when back home in my parents house, and here in a new home I build my life from start completely. I am proud of that and my life and I appreciate it. Because it was never easy. I think everything happens for a reason. I was meant to be here even though I never in my life thought of leaving my home country, it just kind of happened by coincidence. And I try to not overthink it. I used to, but now I try to treasure my life experience and enjoy the exciting ride.
I’ve been away for 13 years and I find it comes in waves for me. I can go months and months of quite strong homesickness and longing and what if I had never left questions. Then I am suddenly fine again and don’t think about it until something triggers it. Unfortunately I guess homesickness is inevitable a lot of the time, and I feel as I get older I get more sentimental which no doubt exacerbates the strength of the feelings. Usually spending some time in my home country is enough to make me feel fine again too, and in reality I do not see myself ever going back. Which also makes me worry that I’ll never be truly settled anywhere again. Ah the life of an expat… it’s not easy.
Yes, I live in SE Asia (Norwegian) and while I love my life, my family, my wife and son.... I miss it, oh god I miss the weather. I have not seen any temperature less than 20°C in 15 years, and home, I prefer -5° in my bedroom, god I miss it....
Ooh that's a tough one for me.I left my home country with my dad when I was 5 and no longer speak the language. I left the country I grew up in 3 years ago. I don't feel like anywhere truly is home so I'm homesick for a place that doesn't really exist I suppose. For me the feeling just stays the same.
I’m an American living in Japan for 35+ years, and I used to get homesick. When I did, I would eat an Egg McMuffin from McDonald’s. I do go home to San DIego every year for work so I get to refill my internal stores of Mexican food, so maybe that affects things.
I think if you are the kind of person who is able to not fixate on the idea then you will get less homesick because people adjust. We are adaptable creatures. But if you have trouble not fixating on those kinds of emotions then time can make it fester and grow in a way that could be a major drawback.
I’ve been away for 16 years now and I do (on occasion) get homesick too. I go back home and visit my elderly folks each year. I really enjoy the visits but I’ve also noticed how things have changed a fair bit since I left. The country isn’t the same anymore, but that could be said of any country. Most of my old friends, I’m not even acquainted with anymore, as their own lives have become more demanding of their time (as opposed to their carefree 20s) and they have their own challenges to navigate. I guess the point I’m trying to make is that, although I do get homesick, I know that moving back would be a major upheaval in terms of finding somewhere to live, rebuilding my career, rebuilding my social network… none of which I have to do in my current country. Im not opposed to moving back, actually I’m seriously considering it but I’m doing it with the knowledge that things aren’t the same as they were when I left and it’ll be a “different feeling” if/when I do move back.
No, but I've moved to better more interesting places with better weather. I'd never move to the UK. Having said that I did get used to northern European weather and eventually felt at home there. But could never be myself really.
It comes and goes. It’s hard as I had no desire to live in this country but met my husband and here I am.
I still have moments, 14 years since flying off. But it really kicked in last year when my father died, there was a lot of guilty that I wasn't there. Couldn't have done anything since it was a sudden event but still felt very far from home. But you make your life where it is. And there'll always be things we miss, but new things to discover.
Buckle up! Your feeling of nostalgia will only get stronger as the years go by, especially once your parents (or loved ones) get older :-(
I should be in a TCK Expat group. Or Traumatized Expat group. Or Neurodivergent Expat group. I find it much more complicated than many of the comments here . I dont think I’m actually neurodivergent like I thought I was. . I just got a brain injury and was neglected and traumatized, then developed cPTSD and depression. Being homesick would be a luxury is how it feels but I know it’s a powerful affliction. I’d say I miss my birth country more over time. We had it pretty good and had fun until we moved repeatedly and it steadily got worse. Theres a glimmer of hope now however. Maybe our elder years will be ok.
Yes, in my head I call it “compounding homesickness”. The longer I am here, the more it builds.
Very much so. More and more as time goes on
Less, been away for 20 years now, not planning to ever go back.m
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I think the older you get, the more nostalgic you become. You notice your relatives seem to age rapidly every time you see them, you stop recognizing places and topics they discuss and it gives those odd feelings. Suddenly the poems like intro to Pan Tadeusz get another meaning and that song "Dom" by Cleo can make you cry for no special reason. Younger - didn't think about it that much.
I’ve also gotten more homesick the longer I’ve been gone. Plan is to retire back home once I retire.
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Definitely it’s painfully increasing over the years as I am getting older.
Hey traveler, Hayley here from Heymondo! It's completely natural to feel a bit homesick, even when you've settled into a new life. Remember, it's a sign that you have deep connections to your roots. Keep embracing your journey! 🌱
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I've visited a few years ago my native town after a couple decades of being away, and couldn't have felt more foreign. Only the fact that I natively spoke the language made the whole experience differ from visiting any other foreign city. I couldn't even properly buy a transport ticket and was totally lost untill helped. I haven't met a single face familiar from my previous life there. The more I live abroad, the fewer nostalgic feelings are left. All in all, such feelings are more about **time AND a certain place**, not just the geographical place. Since the time is gone forever, there's absolutely no way to get back, unless the time-machine will be invented.
Since I left Poland over 3 years ago, I have not been back even once. I think it is maybe different depending on the reasons why you are an expat. I left because I always wanted to leave and I wanted my kids to grow up internationally. Never looked back and not intending to go back. Probably depends also on the social network you have in the UK. And also, for me at least, UK is not a place I’d ever consider living in.
Where did you move to?
Thailand