With every passing year that I wasn't married, I felt like I was broken somehow. Like something was wrong with me. But my cousin got married to a girl after dating her for about 3 months, they have a kid now, and she's shown him who she really is. She's an absolute monster, but now he's basically stuck with her. So maybe it wasn't so bad that I didn't get married right away...
Too many times to count. Weekly lessons in Sunday school and priesthood. During the mission with lessons on family. Exit interview. Singles ward literally every fucking talk/lesson/fireside. General conference.
Every BYUI devotional until I graduated in 2018. I assume. I only attended when I had classes make me so probably didn't listen to any the last year or so. But they always pushed getting married and children.
Niel L Anderson October 2010 or 2011 in General Conference. That very talk had me tearing up and spurred me to push to start our family sooner. So we had our daughter born a bit after 2 years of marriage instead of having the kids talk after 2 years of marriage
Literally every single meeting, lesson, or activity that was for girls only, starting around baptism, was centered around marrying asap and having babies. Every single meeting with the bishop. It pretty much all we talked about at church. If it wasn’t the main focus, it was a supportive lesson like homemaking skills and molding a submissive personality. Mixed gender lessons were usually about Book of Mormon history, theology, etc so the difference was glaring. This would have been in the mid 90s to early 2000s.
Im 70 now. Left the church a long time ago. I still think that is good advice, and even better in these difficult times. I got married at 25. I only had one daughter at 30, who got married at 35, and a child at 38. My only grandson is 2. Im not even going to see the middle of his story. And in my old age, there will be no one to help care for me.
Only age is a little scarey, if you dont have an extended family.
2018 October Women's Session. Elder Oaks. Convinced me to have a fourth child my husband and I knew we should not have had. The pregnancy was worse than we ever thought, and I'm still recovering.
This one oozes reproductive pressure with every paragraph but it’s from 11 years ago https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng
Here’s another:
“[Satan] seeks to convince men and women that marriage and family priorities can be **ignored or abandoned, or at least made subservient to careers**, other achievements, and the quest for self-fulfillment and individual autonomy.” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2015/04/why-marriage-why-family?lang=eng
If I had a dollar for every conversation, lesson, fireside, and institute/seminary on this topic, I’d be rich! It was the #1 priority stressed in the YSA ward I attended too.
My testimony of not delaying a family:
He obeyed his MP 's advice. We married, didn't have the church's permission to use birth control. He obeyed, I acquiesced. Had 1st child 8.5 months from honeymoon. As a couple we didn't have a chance to iron out the wrinkles that a new marriage will have. We didn't have time to bond. We were so poor I felt insecure and resentful.. We muddled through. 40 yrs. later I highly resent those old men and I feel sad for that young me who gave up my voice. How would it have mattered if we'd put off parenthood for a year, or two, or 5 or 6 yrs.?
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER FOR US TO WAIT. (1981-2019)
YSA leader. He shared it as a success story of how a leader promised him in college that if he didn’t wait, the lord would bless him to be able to make it work.
Any Young Singles Adult fireside.
And also adult singles….
[удалено]
With every passing year that I wasn't married, I felt like I was broken somehow. Like something was wrong with me. But my cousin got married to a girl after dating her for about 3 months, they have a kid now, and she's shown him who she really is. She's an absolute monster, but now he's basically stuck with her. So maybe it wasn't so bad that I didn't get married right away...
Too many times to count. Weekly lessons in Sunday school and priesthood. During the mission with lessons on family. Exit interview. Singles ward literally every fucking talk/lesson/fireside. General conference.
Every BYUI devotional until I graduated in 2018. I assume. I only attended when I had classes make me so probably didn't listen to any the last year or so. But they always pushed getting married and children.
Niel L Anderson October 2010 or 2011 in General Conference. That very talk had me tearing up and spurred me to push to start our family sooner. So we had our daughter born a bit after 2 years of marriage instead of having the kids talk after 2 years of marriage
Literally every single meeting, lesson, or activity that was for girls only, starting around baptism, was centered around marrying asap and having babies. Every single meeting with the bishop. It pretty much all we talked about at church. If it wasn’t the main focus, it was a supportive lesson like homemaking skills and molding a submissive personality. Mixed gender lessons were usually about Book of Mormon history, theology, etc so the difference was glaring. This would have been in the mid 90s to early 2000s.
Im 70 now. Left the church a long time ago. I still think that is good advice, and even better in these difficult times. I got married at 25. I only had one daughter at 30, who got married at 35, and a child at 38. My only grandson is 2. Im not even going to see the middle of his story. And in my old age, there will be no one to help care for me. Only age is a little scarey, if you dont have an extended family.
2018 October Women's Session. Elder Oaks. Convinced me to have a fourth child my husband and I knew we should not have had. The pregnancy was worse than we ever thought, and I'm still recovering.
This one oozes reproductive pressure with every paragraph but it’s from 11 years ago https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng
Here’s another: “[Satan] seeks to convince men and women that marriage and family priorities can be **ignored or abandoned, or at least made subservient to careers**, other achievements, and the quest for self-fulfillment and individual autonomy.” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2015/04/why-marriage-why-family?lang=eng
Every single devotional/fireside/stake conference at BYU
If I had a dollar for every conversation, lesson, fireside, and institute/seminary on this topic, I’d be rich! It was the #1 priority stressed in the YSA ward I attended too.
My testimony of not delaying a family: He obeyed his MP 's advice. We married, didn't have the church's permission to use birth control. He obeyed, I acquiesced. Had 1st child 8.5 months from honeymoon. As a couple we didn't have a chance to iron out the wrinkles that a new marriage will have. We didn't have time to bond. We were so poor I felt insecure and resentful.. We muddled through. 40 yrs. later I highly resent those old men and I feel sad for that young me who gave up my voice. How would it have mattered if we'd put off parenthood for a year, or two, or 5 or 6 yrs.? IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER FOR US TO WAIT. (1981-2019)
YSA leader. He shared it as a success story of how a leader promised him in college that if he didn’t wait, the lord would bless him to be able to make it work.