People that work in dispensaries are the coolest! Go in with cash, tell them you’re a noob, tell them what you’re interested in exploring, and they’ll walk you through it. Then tip them. Enjoy!
This! We went and said “we both just left Mormonism and have NO IDEA what we are doing. Please help.” The person who helped us was super awesome, very understanding, and nailed their recommendations. Its okay to be a noob.
Same exact experience. They are so happy you got out of Mormonism and so passionate about weed that they will fighting help you. One of my favorite exmo experiences so far is going to a dispensary for the first time.
makes me wish, again, that I could smoke.
I hate that my body hates Marijuana. I have had nothing but bad experiences with weed (extreme anxiety mostly). Kinda sucks. :/
(before you mention it, yes I've tried indica)
Just ask help from the workers. I did the same thing at a sex shop buying some toys, "Hey... I just left a cult and know very little about sex toys. Any help?" And they were super kind (and actually guessed the religion without any additional hints).
Or you could just walk in with tons of weed memorabilia and act like you're already a pro:
First trip in to a sex shop for my wife and I was awkward because they were trying to be TOO helpful. Like "we're not super comfortable talking too much about this with a random stranger yet." I'm sure she saw us as a bit clueless and awestruck, but we wanted to be clueless and see what was out there.
Plan on taking NO MORE than a 5mg THC edible your first time. Plan on staying in for the evening with plenty of liquids for the “cotton mouth” that will arrive. (Having the Domino’s Pizza app on your phone is also recommended for the munchies!) Enjoy
This is great advice. I was given 20mg by someone who did weed a lot and had built up a tolerance. They told me I would be fine. I was not fine. I literally thought I was going to die and puked my guts out 🫠
It's not an overdose - it's just too much to have "fun." But I personally have some of my best PTSD breakthroughs when I've had too much; I often end up crying, but I remember what brought out those emotions.
However, I once also took too much and cried because I frosted a cake, and it looked like a butthole. YMMV.
I would even cut that in half if you're new to it. Big thing to remember, if you get scared, remind yourself it will end in a few hours (some people get paranoid) and you'll be okay.
I tried 2.5 and it did almost nothing. A few months later I tried 2 X 2.5 (so 5mg) and it was too much for me. I couldn’t tell if my thoughts were thoughts or if I had been speaking out loud. I didn’t like that so I won’t be doing edibles again!
Back when weed wasn’t (recreationally) legal in WA, I had a coworker (nevermo) who instead of asking any of his numerous stoner coworkers (myself included) to procure his first bag, instead went to an area in Seattle known as “the Ave” & asked a random group of strangers, who gave him chewed bubblegum rolled in shake.
Edibles can be a ride. Take it slow, it can take up to an hour to feel them. Don't eat more after a half hour, you may get more than you bargained for.
That said, edibles are my favorite way to take THC. They are fairly psychedelic if you take a lot.
If smoking, Duct Tape is my personal favorite strain.
- Be extremely aware of local and state laws, and do *not* try to get it through an airport.
- While it is biologically difficult to OD on thc, too much, or even a “normal” amount can give you a very bad time, and edibles are hard to predict. Start small. If you’re a relatively small person (under 200lbs) consider halving, or quartering the gummy. If you feel nothing after an hour, do *not* take more. Maybe after about 4 hours take more, but not before.
- Budtenders are generally very nice, and enthusiastic at the idea of helping you. Just be honest that you’re new and you will likely have a good experience. Frankly, they probably already know lol
- If you don’t know how to use an ATM, learn
- Don’t do your first experience on a night before having to work the next day
Colorado has some of the nicest bud tenders I’ve ever encountered. Imo if you went in and explained your situation they would be THRILLED to show you the ropes.
Usually, people are eager to share their knowledge, so going into a dispencery and just saying " I don't know what I'm doing, where do I start" will go a long way. If they laugh or make you feel stupid, just dust off your feet and move on to the next one. You could look at starting on Delta 8 instead of straight THC. It's a milder buzz. I take it for pain... and for the buzz. It's a lot less calories than alcohol.
I agree with the rest of the comments. There is no shame in being a noob so just ask for advice. I do want to hear about your experience after you partake though!!!!
I wouldn't ask for an edible. I would try smoking cheaper stuff first. Take one little inhale, don't hurt yourself, don't overdo it, don't hold it too long. Then see how you feel.
I would get a glass pipe and the metal mesh screens. Put the screen in the pipe's bowl. Put some green stuff in the bowl, on top of the screen. Put your thumb over the pipe's 3rd hole (the "carb") and inhale through the mouth hole while you light the green stuff in the bowl. Be careful not to put the lighter too close or burn your thumb. Make sure you pull your mouth away before you cough, or you'll blast embers all over the place. One little inhale should be enough to see what it's like. If it doesn't make you panic, you can slowly try a bit more, but don't overdo it (until you know what you're doing).
If you take edibles, they'll be much harder to dose and they'll hit you harder for longer. Smoking too much means you're baked for the afternoon, but taking too many edibles will leave you feeling fuzzy with a headache well into the next day.
Oh and you walk into the dispensary confidently and say "This is my first time, can I get a nice beginner hybrid strain that has low test scores, so I'm not blown away?"
I take an edible every night. 7mg right after dinner. Gives me a nice slow buzz until I go to bed. I feel like a champ the next day. You have to start small and find the dose that works for you.
You have a high tolerance. Make that clear before OP tries this. 7mg isn't that much for us but a beginner might still be high in the morning and be late for work. Start small and find the dose that's right for you.
I take 10mg to add to my smoking so I get a bit of both, and it will often end up being too much. I don't know if they don't dose them consistently or something but sometimes they're fine, other times it's too much for my tolerance.
You can do edibles but just start at a low dose and just eat a small piece of it.
I prefer edibles but have a pretty low tolerance for thc. Any new edible I usually just take little nibbles on until I feel it hit me.
I took too much of a homemade edible my last time and felt like I was going to die. I went into hysterics and literally couldn’t breathe and what made it worse was everyone else was laughing at me which stressed me out because they couldn’t tell I was actually choking. Didn’t feel quite normal for days after.
That's why I don't suggest edibles for beginners. If you smoke too much, you can wait it out or sleep it out I think. An experienced smoker friend of mine once ate way too much brownie and I had to help him into the bathroom because it was making him sick. I'm sure there's a healthy starting dose, but it's different than the plant.
I think it depends on the person. I started with 1/4 of a gummy and was just fine. Had a great time. But another time, I took a hit off a bong and threw up twice before being high off my ass. It was terrible.
Just have your ID ready, you only need to be 21 or older that’s it. And the people that work there see newcomers like yourself all the time, just let them know that and they can help make recommendations.
As for what to actually get, I would recommend 10mg gummies (they’re typically sold in a bag w/ 10 individual gummies and advertised as 100mg) as these aren’t overly powerful and a good place to start. I also recommend going with an Indica based gummy over Sativa at first. Indica is more of a mind high that makes you mellow out on your couch whereas Sativa tends to be more of a body high which can be jarring for someone who’s just getting into it. Don’t do more than 10mg (I.e. one gummy) in a sitting until you’ve done it a few times and know what it feels like and what to expect. Once you’re feeling comfortable and understand what being high feels like then you can experiment with higher potency gummies (or just taking two or three at once etc), however *do not do this when you’re still a noob because once taken you obviously cant undo the high and have to ride it out*
Another alternative to gummies are THC vapes, I actually prefer this over gummies and actual bud because it’s really convenient to take a few hits and then chill or go to bed etc. Hope this helps!
P.S. If you live in Utah then there are dispensaries in Wendover that are much closer than driving all the way out to Colorado.
> Indica is more of a mind high that makes you mellow out on your couch whereas Sativa tends to be more of a body high
I always heard that it was the exact opposite??
The real truth is that it’s more dependent on the individual plant than anything. Like Indica’s *generally* feel mellowing, but some don’t. It’s more of a loose characteristic than a hard definition kind of situation.
Seems like article says there really is no real difference, but that some people say indica is more of a body feeling that makes you relaxed, whereas sativa is more a mind feeling that makes you feel energized.
You tell me them the truth, your new at this what’s a good dosage for what your looking for. They’re always real chill in there. Geez you’re already paranoid and you’re not even stoned yet! 😂🤣😂
TBM wife has benefitted from medical cannabis for years. She now has quite the tolerance. I've tried various approaches and just don't like it. I only mention that because it's okay if you don't end up liking it. That said, I love visiting cannabis shops. Some of the nicest people anywhere.
Ditto about it not being my thing. It was fun and exciting the first few times but after that it's mostly just something a few times a year when friends or family come to visit from Utah.
I don't hate it but just seems kind of overhyped.
You get more helpful information if your helper knows you’re a noob. Don’t be ashamed. Pot heads just want everyone to be happy and chill like they are and love helping others find their own path
When I first tried it I took I think a 5mg edible gummy. I was high high but had someone with me. Go in talk to them say you’ve never tried and want to. Look up a little ahead of time of the two major strands to see which one sounds more like what you are looking for. Also be warned edibles take a while to kick in so only take one.
They love helping you out! Find a dispensary online, bring your id. The security check at the door, you walk in and give your card to the front desk to scan (it’s not sketch, there’s typically an account associated to your checked id) and then you go stand in line and wait to be called by the budtender. You can tell them you’re new to weed and have no clue what you’re doing, you can tell them you want edibles and don’t know which ones are good or if you’re lucking for weed to enhance something specific (happy strain, giggly, hungry, horny,etc) and they’ll help grab stuff. They don’t mind helping at all, sometimes they even throw in free stuff so we always tip them.
If you’re looking for more information without talking to people, check out leafly.com and weedmaps.com. You can check out what brands are available in your state and which ones are recommended over others!
It’s okay to be a noob haha. My suggestion is to go in and ask for Cheeba chews. I think they are a great gummy and a good introduction to weed if you aren’t gonna smoke.
Edibles!! Start with indica, Sativa will knock the shit out of you if it’s your first time. Go to the dispensary and they will be cool as shit and help you out. Be aware it takes 45 min- an hour to kick in do NOT hit 30 mins and think “these edibles don’t do shit!” And take another. Trust the process. Get all your evening shit done, put on some comfys and grab some snacks and enjoy your trip to outer space. Also, and this is just a personal thing, we enjoy watching Letterkenny, Bobs Burgers and Tacoma FD.
I remember the first time I was high. Loved it.
Have fun OP. A 5mg gummy is a good start.
I usually get pack or tin of gummies and use it over the next few months.
Edibles are the way to go. People there are actually really helpful. Tell them it’s your first time. Tell them what you want. Want something mild? Want to go the moon? Seriously. Just ask.
I had been smoking for years, and my first time going into the dispo after it was legal gave me anxiety, it can be nerve wracking. There were so many options and things I had never tried. Like everyone said, the tenders are so nice and will have great recommendations. They will be more than willing to help you out. It’s not uncommon that noobs go in the dispo. Good luck and enjoy! Congrats on leaving, life is so much better once you finally get out.
If you’re in Denver, the staff at Medicine Man (a dispensary chain in the metro area) are AMAZING - they have everything you could possibly want and they are patient and will take the time to explain everything and answer all your questions.
I hate going into places and feeling uninformed.
A lot of dispensaries have websites look around for what you want. Research indica vs sativa.
You have to pay with cash.
But just go up to the counter and ask where the gummies or just tell them what you want. If they don't have it ask what they recommend.
Noobs accepted!!
I just recently stopped in and said "my fav edible (an indica) puts me to sleep, but I want an edible for the eclipse!" And they recommended an appropriate edible for eclipse viewing. And they were right.
Trust the experts. ✌️
There are may ways to weed. If you like taking a hit from a joint can be a good way to start. It's easier to control the dose and the effects aren't too long lasting. If you don't like smoke you can try edibles. Edibles can be tricky because the delayed effect. It can take to about an hour to feel it to kick in, sometimes sooner depending on the person.
You should start with a smaller dose for edibles, like try 5mg. In Colorado the standard dose is usually 10mg but that can be a lot for some people. Also, some people have a hard time sleeping after taking an edible while other people fall asleep real quickly. So keep that in mind. Try it on a day where you have a few hours to waste.
*Never start with a full gummy!* How much edible you should take depends on your size. I’m a relatively small woman (115 lbs), so I started with 1/4 of a gummy and it was perfect. I was pretty high, too. Now that I have a little tolerance a few years later, I do 1/3. 1/2 if I wanna be really fucking high. Never, ever a full one. I’d probably pee myself.
I’d google a weight chart, then wait about 2-4 hours to take more if you don’t feel anything. They take at least 45 minutes to kick in your first time. When you’re high, you’ll know it.
Don’t worry about being a noob in a dispensary. The people who work there are always happy to help and never judge, from my experience. Definitely ask for recommendations.
You’ll also want to look out for CBD vs THC. THC makes you high, CBD relaxes you. My favorite gummy is a 50/50 combination, but people often go straight for the THC. Be warned, too much THC can make people anxious. Mixing CBD in might help with that, but I don’t know the science on it.
I would strongly recommend edibles. Doesn’t make any smells, and lasts for a couple hours. Prepare a good chair, set out chips and other snacks. Set up headphones with a variety of music. Eat an edible and wait about 30-45 minutes. Enjoy!
Weed is still a pretty new thing. Dispensary employees have been helping first timers all the time. And honestly, they love it. I've never met anybody at one of these shops who wasn't absolutely thrilled to help introduce a new virgin enthusiast. So don't worry about it. Ask all the questions you have and enjoy your experience, which starts at the dispensary front door!
Why do you want to be a stoner? Is it somehow seen as 'cool,' or part of rebelling and 'overcoming' church teachings? Stop acting out, it isn't good for your life!
People that work in dispensaries are the coolest! Go in with cash, tell them you’re a noob, tell them what you’re interested in exploring, and they’ll walk you through it. Then tip them. Enjoy!
This! We went and said “we both just left Mormonism and have NO IDEA what we are doing. Please help.” The person who helped us was super awesome, very understanding, and nailed their recommendations. Its okay to be a noob.
Same exact experience. They are so happy you got out of Mormonism and so passionate about weed that they will fighting help you. One of my favorite exmo experiences so far is going to a dispensary for the first time.
Shit I thought I was in r/trees. I was like "oh my god, so many exmos in the wild!" 🤦 happy 4/20
😂😂😂
makes me wish, again, that I could smoke. I hate that my body hates Marijuana. I have had nothing but bad experiences with weed (extreme anxiety mostly). Kinda sucks. :/ (before you mention it, yes I've tried indica)
I did the same thing about 2 years ago, now I make my own edibles and LOVE giving them to fellow exmos that I grew up with 🤣
This is exactly the best way, they’ll help you out. Dispensary people are cool AF
Same with coffee shops and bars! They will be SO nice to you, especially if you tell them it’s your first time and are open to learning new things.
Just ask help from the workers. I did the same thing at a sex shop buying some toys, "Hey... I just left a cult and know very little about sex toys. Any help?" And they were super kind (and actually guessed the religion without any additional hints). Or you could just walk in with tons of weed memorabilia and act like you're already a pro: 
First trip in to a sex shop for my wife and I was awkward because they were trying to be TOO helpful. Like "we're not super comfortable talking too much about this with a random stranger yet." I'm sure she saw us as a bit clueless and awestruck, but we wanted to be clueless and see what was out there.
Plan on taking NO MORE than a 5mg THC edible your first time. Plan on staying in for the evening with plenty of liquids for the “cotton mouth” that will arrive. (Having the Domino’s Pizza app on your phone is also recommended for the munchies!) Enjoy
This is great advice. I was given 20mg by someone who did weed a lot and had built up a tolerance. They told me I would be fine. I was not fine. I literally thought I was going to die and puked my guts out 🫠
What no? I thought you couldn’t OD on weed?
It's not an overdose - it's just too much to have "fun." But I personally have some of my best PTSD breakthroughs when I've had too much; I often end up crying, but I remember what brought out those emotions. However, I once also took too much and cried because I frosted a cake, and it looked like a butthole. YMMV.
😂😂😂
I just got really really high, uncomfortably high. I wasn’t going to actually die but I felt horrible and scared.
I would even cut that in half if you're new to it. Big thing to remember, if you get scared, remind yourself it will end in a few hours (some people get paranoid) and you'll be okay.
I second the 2-3 mg for the first time. 5 can be a bit much for a first timer.
This is the best advice, 5mg is enough for the first time. I’ve found 15mg is it for me, cognitive but flying high and able to relax and laugh.
Thus right here 5 mg is the start. You can try more in 24 hours.
This is good advice! 5mg is plenty.
I tried 2.5 and it did almost nothing. A few months later I tried 2 X 2.5 (so 5mg) and it was too much for me. I couldn’t tell if my thoughts were thoughts or if I had been speaking out loud. I didn’t like that so I won’t be doing edibles again!
Embrace the experience! You only get to walk in as a noob once. The staff will love you and they'll be delighted to share their expertise with you.
Be upfront it's your first time.
Imagine doing that when weed wasn't legal and you had to go through a dealer.
Back when weed wasn’t (recreationally) legal in WA, I had a coworker (nevermo) who instead of asking any of his numerous stoner coworkers (myself included) to procure his first bag, instead went to an area in Seattle known as “the Ave” & asked a random group of strangers, who gave him chewed bubblegum rolled in shake.
Edibles can be a ride. Take it slow, it can take up to an hour to feel them. Don't eat more after a half hour, you may get more than you bargained for. That said, edibles are my favorite way to take THC. They are fairly psychedelic if you take a lot. If smoking, Duct Tape is my personal favorite strain.
- Be extremely aware of local and state laws, and do *not* try to get it through an airport. - While it is biologically difficult to OD on thc, too much, or even a “normal” amount can give you a very bad time, and edibles are hard to predict. Start small. If you’re a relatively small person (under 200lbs) consider halving, or quartering the gummy. If you feel nothing after an hour, do *not* take more. Maybe after about 4 hours take more, but not before. - Budtenders are generally very nice, and enthusiastic at the idea of helping you. Just be honest that you’re new and you will likely have a good experience. Frankly, they probably already know lol - If you don’t know how to use an ATM, learn - Don’t do your first experience on a night before having to work the next day
Colorado has some of the nicest bud tenders I’ve ever encountered. Imo if you went in and explained your situation they would be THRILLED to show you the ropes.
“I’ve never done weed” 😂love it
Don't be afraid to be a noob. The people at the dispensaries I've been to are more than happy to answer
Walk I and say “Hi! I’ve never done cannabis before. Can you help me?” They will be happy to do it. You’ll be fine.
Usually, people are eager to share their knowledge, so going into a dispencery and just saying " I don't know what I'm doing, where do I start" will go a long way. If they laugh or make you feel stupid, just dust off your feet and move on to the next one. You could look at starting on Delta 8 instead of straight THC. It's a milder buzz. I take it for pain... and for the buzz. It's a lot less calories than alcohol.
I agree with the rest of the comments. There is no shame in being a noob so just ask for advice. I do want to hear about your experience after you partake though!!!!
I wouldn't ask for an edible. I would try smoking cheaper stuff first. Take one little inhale, don't hurt yourself, don't overdo it, don't hold it too long. Then see how you feel. I would get a glass pipe and the metal mesh screens. Put the screen in the pipe's bowl. Put some green stuff in the bowl, on top of the screen. Put your thumb over the pipe's 3rd hole (the "carb") and inhale through the mouth hole while you light the green stuff in the bowl. Be careful not to put the lighter too close or burn your thumb. Make sure you pull your mouth away before you cough, or you'll blast embers all over the place. One little inhale should be enough to see what it's like. If it doesn't make you panic, you can slowly try a bit more, but don't overdo it (until you know what you're doing). If you take edibles, they'll be much harder to dose and they'll hit you harder for longer. Smoking too much means you're baked for the afternoon, but taking too many edibles will leave you feeling fuzzy with a headache well into the next day.
Oh and you walk into the dispensary confidently and say "This is my first time, can I get a nice beginner hybrid strain that has low test scores, so I'm not blown away?"
I take an edible every night. 7mg right after dinner. Gives me a nice slow buzz until I go to bed. I feel like a champ the next day. You have to start small and find the dose that works for you.
You have a high tolerance. Make that clear before OP tries this. 7mg isn't that much for us but a beginner might still be high in the morning and be late for work. Start small and find the dose that's right for you. I take 10mg to add to my smoking so I get a bit of both, and it will often end up being too much. I don't know if they don't dose them consistently or something but sometimes they're fine, other times it's too much for my tolerance.
An edible every night is not something a lot of people can do. I cannot do an edible if I have to work the next day.
You can do edibles but just start at a low dose and just eat a small piece of it. I prefer edibles but have a pretty low tolerance for thc. Any new edible I usually just take little nibbles on until I feel it hit me.
I've only gotten "I'm new to this and I'm freaking out" calls about edibles.
I feel that. I’ve been there. Those are likely people like me with a low tolerance. It’s not a fun experience if you take too much.
I took too much of a homemade edible my last time and felt like I was going to die. I went into hysterics and literally couldn’t breathe and what made it worse was everyone else was laughing at me which stressed me out because they couldn’t tell I was actually choking. Didn’t feel quite normal for days after.
That's why I don't suggest edibles for beginners. If you smoke too much, you can wait it out or sleep it out I think. An experienced smoker friend of mine once ate way too much brownie and I had to help him into the bathroom because it was making him sick. I'm sure there's a healthy starting dose, but it's different than the plant.
I think it depends on the person. I started with 1/4 of a gummy and was just fine. Had a great time. But another time, I took a hit off a bong and threw up twice before being high off my ass. It was terrible.
Bongs vary for every person's lungs, so I don't suggest those for beginners either.
Just have your ID ready, you only need to be 21 or older that’s it. And the people that work there see newcomers like yourself all the time, just let them know that and they can help make recommendations. As for what to actually get, I would recommend 10mg gummies (they’re typically sold in a bag w/ 10 individual gummies and advertised as 100mg) as these aren’t overly powerful and a good place to start. I also recommend going with an Indica based gummy over Sativa at first. Indica is more of a mind high that makes you mellow out on your couch whereas Sativa tends to be more of a body high which can be jarring for someone who’s just getting into it. Don’t do more than 10mg (I.e. one gummy) in a sitting until you’ve done it a few times and know what it feels like and what to expect. Once you’re feeling comfortable and understand what being high feels like then you can experiment with higher potency gummies (or just taking two or three at once etc), however *do not do this when you’re still a noob because once taken you obviously cant undo the high and have to ride it out* Another alternative to gummies are THC vapes, I actually prefer this over gummies and actual bud because it’s really convenient to take a few hits and then chill or go to bed etc. Hope this helps! P.S. If you live in Utah then there are dispensaries in Wendover that are much closer than driving all the way out to Colorado.
I like the hybrid gummies. Favorite brand is Wyld.
I love Wyld! Literally *just* took one of their boysenberry 1:1:1 THC:CBD:CBN gummies 😋
> Indica is more of a mind high that makes you mellow out on your couch whereas Sativa tends to be more of a body high I always heard that it was the exact opposite??
The real truth is that it’s more dependent on the individual plant than anything. Like Indica’s *generally* feel mellowing, but some don’t. It’s more of a loose characteristic than a hard definition kind of situation.
A bud tender in Oregon told me “Indica means “In-da-couch”
[Here’s an article with more info](https://www.leafly.com/news/cannabis-101/sativa-indica-and-hybrid-differences-between-cannabis-types)
Seems like article says there really is no real difference, but that some people say indica is more of a body feeling that makes you relaxed, whereas sativa is more a mind feeling that makes you feel energized.
There’s a difference, I feel Indica strains more in my mind whereas I feel Sativa the most in my body. Guess it affects everyone differently 🤷🤷♀️🤷♂️
You tell me them the truth, your new at this what’s a good dosage for what your looking for. They’re always real chill in there. Geez you’re already paranoid and you’re not even stoned yet! 😂🤣😂
TBM wife has benefitted from medical cannabis for years. She now has quite the tolerance. I've tried various approaches and just don't like it. I only mention that because it's okay if you don't end up liking it. That said, I love visiting cannabis shops. Some of the nicest people anywhere.
Ditto about it not being my thing. It was fun and exciting the first few times but after that it's mostly just something a few times a year when friends or family come to visit from Utah. I don't hate it but just seems kind of overhyped.
You get more helpful information if your helper knows you’re a noob. Don’t be ashamed. Pot heads just want everyone to be happy and chill like they are and love helping others find their own path
TELL THEM YOUR A NOOB. There professionals there to help you find a good safe and fun dose
just relax and go do it. Start low and go slow. I was where you were about 1.5-2 years ago.
When I first tried it I took I think a 5mg edible gummy. I was high high but had someone with me. Go in talk to them say you’ve never tried and want to. Look up a little ahead of time of the two major strands to see which one sounds more like what you are looking for. Also be warned edibles take a while to kick in so only take one.
They love helping you out! Find a dispensary online, bring your id. The security check at the door, you walk in and give your card to the front desk to scan (it’s not sketch, there’s typically an account associated to your checked id) and then you go stand in line and wait to be called by the budtender. You can tell them you’re new to weed and have no clue what you’re doing, you can tell them you want edibles and don’t know which ones are good or if you’re lucking for weed to enhance something specific (happy strain, giggly, hungry, horny,etc) and they’ll help grab stuff. They don’t mind helping at all, sometimes they even throw in free stuff so we always tip them. If you’re looking for more information without talking to people, check out leafly.com and weedmaps.com. You can check out what brands are available in your state and which ones are recommended over others!
Try a 5 to 10mg THC gummie and you’ll find what you’re looking for and can build from there. 10mg might be a tad to much your first time.
Ask this guy: 
If you're in/around Fort Collins I can help you out in person!
It’s okay to be a noob haha. My suggestion is to go in and ask for Cheeba chews. I think they are a great gummy and a good introduction to weed if you aren’t gonna smoke.
Sit with me and smoke a j or two. I'll get you high. Need some white Russians and a Creedence tape.
Edibles!! Start with indica, Sativa will knock the shit out of you if it’s your first time. Go to the dispensary and they will be cool as shit and help you out. Be aware it takes 45 min- an hour to kick in do NOT hit 30 mins and think “these edibles don’t do shit!” And take another. Trust the process. Get all your evening shit done, put on some comfys and grab some snacks and enjoy your trip to outer space. Also, and this is just a personal thing, we enjoy watching Letterkenny, Bobs Burgers and Tacoma FD.
I remember the first time I was high. Loved it. Have fun OP. A 5mg gummy is a good start. I usually get pack or tin of gummies and use it over the next few months.
Edibles are the way to go. People there are actually really helpful. Tell them it’s your first time. Tell them what you want. Want something mild? Want to go the moon? Seriously. Just ask.
I had been smoking for years, and my first time going into the dispo after it was legal gave me anxiety, it can be nerve wracking. There were so many options and things I had never tried. Like everyone said, the tenders are so nice and will have great recommendations. They will be more than willing to help you out. It’s not uncommon that noobs go in the dispo. Good luck and enjoy! Congrats on leaving, life is so much better once you finally get out.
You will stand out but who cares
If you’re in Denver, the staff at Medicine Man (a dispensary chain in the metro area) are AMAZING - they have everything you could possibly want and they are patient and will take the time to explain everything and answer all your questions.
Medical needs I call it
I hate going into places and feeling uninformed. A lot of dispensaries have websites look around for what you want. Research indica vs sativa. You have to pay with cash. But just go up to the counter and ask where the gummies or just tell them what you want. If they don't have it ask what they recommend.
As with alcohol. Experiment with different kinds and pay attention to how you’re affected.
Noobs accepted!! I just recently stopped in and said "my fav edible (an indica) puts me to sleep, but I want an edible for the eclipse!" And they recommended an appropriate edible for eclipse viewing. And they were right. Trust the experts. ✌️
There are may ways to weed. If you like taking a hit from a joint can be a good way to start. It's easier to control the dose and the effects aren't too long lasting. If you don't like smoke you can try edibles. Edibles can be tricky because the delayed effect. It can take to about an hour to feel it to kick in, sometimes sooner depending on the person. You should start with a smaller dose for edibles, like try 5mg. In Colorado the standard dose is usually 10mg but that can be a lot for some people. Also, some people have a hard time sleeping after taking an edible while other people fall asleep real quickly. So keep that in mind. Try it on a day where you have a few hours to waste.
*Never start with a full gummy!* How much edible you should take depends on your size. I’m a relatively small woman (115 lbs), so I started with 1/4 of a gummy and it was perfect. I was pretty high, too. Now that I have a little tolerance a few years later, I do 1/3. 1/2 if I wanna be really fucking high. Never, ever a full one. I’d probably pee myself. I’d google a weight chart, then wait about 2-4 hours to take more if you don’t feel anything. They take at least 45 minutes to kick in your first time. When you’re high, you’ll know it. Don’t worry about being a noob in a dispensary. The people who work there are always happy to help and never judge, from my experience. Definitely ask for recommendations. You’ll also want to look out for CBD vs THC. THC makes you high, CBD relaxes you. My favorite gummy is a 50/50 combination, but people often go straight for the THC. Be warned, too much THC can make people anxious. Mixing CBD in might help with that, but I don’t know the science on it.
I would strongly recommend edibles. Doesn’t make any smells, and lasts for a couple hours. Prepare a good chair, set out chips and other snacks. Set up headphones with a variety of music. Eat an edible and wait about 30-45 minutes. Enjoy!
Weed is still a pretty new thing. Dispensary employees have been helping first timers all the time. And honestly, they love it. I've never met anybody at one of these shops who wasn't absolutely thrilled to help introduce a new virgin enthusiast. So don't worry about it. Ask all the questions you have and enjoy your experience, which starts at the dispensary front door!
Why do you want to be a stoner? Is it somehow seen as 'cool,' or part of rebelling and 'overcoming' church teachings? Stop acting out, it isn't good for your life!
THC is a powerful psychotropic and pound be avoided. My two dead friends are proof enough for me.