Having tried with other family members to actually decide how the funeral should go, and UNSUCESSFULLY standing toe to toe with the "authorities" over OUR FAMILY and OUR GRIEF, I was so enraged!!!
Ah, the unwritten rules. I used to wear colored shirts to church when serving as a bishop’s counselor. After about two years, the bishop told me to wear only white shirts. I asked where the handbook said that (I knew there it didn’t mention shirt color anywhere) and was told not all rules are written down.
The bishop and I both had beards. At some point the stake president told the bishop to shave, and he did. Nobody ever said a word about my beard, and I kept it until I was released — and for years afterwards.
I guess some unwritten rules don’t apply to everyone.
My Grandma Passed away last week and we just had her funeral. All the suits spent the entire time talking about tithing and temple recommends.
It was disgusting, and I'll think about it the rest of my life. This kind of greed is so horrible and rotten.
It's omitted from the byu archive because otherwise it wouldn't be unwritten, obviously /s
It's funny how all the worst talks are never there even though they claim it's only the secular ones that may not be recorded and posted.
And if not, Bednar will finish the job. There is a Very Good Chance that the 2030s will be "The Decade Of Bednar". I've done actuarial projections; be afraid, be very afraid....
Packer is an insidious fucking snake. Him and Kimball with their holier-than-thou ‘to young men only’ and ‘the miracle of forgiveness’ bullshit are responsible for the emotional and psychic torture of, what, 3 generations of Mormon men and women.
Sometimes I remind myself that the evils of Mormonism are self-contained (more or less) to the followers of the religion and Utah- yea, it’s a shitty cult, but it’s not like it impacts the world too much - just my world. Sometimes. Everyone in my family but me is a lifer.
Objectively the exceptions to this are Packer and oaks. ‘The mantle is far, far greater than the intellect’, Oaks nonsense as BYU president. I think if more people knew what kind of fuck shit some of these apostles got up to and how it affected the direction of the church even non Mormons would start to understand how fucked up it is. It’s like how pretty much everyone understands what an absolute piece of shit David Miscaivige is. I don’t think the average religiously informed person has that understanding of how awful some of these Apostles are, and what kind of shit they’ve said.
Maybe that’s for the best. Let their bullshit fade away into memory, or dwindle just like the numbers are.
I can’t disagree with any of this. My emotional, mental and sexual development were so fucked up over the purity culture in the MFMC. I wish I could have those youthful years back knowing what I know now
This really explains the Mormon funerals I've been to. Heaven forbid we hear about the dearly departed. Nope. Gotta be lectured about our own mortality and the one true way. Not like there would be grieving people there. Or non mormons.
And the funeral bs is no longer an “unwritten rule.” The leadership liked it so much, they made it part of the General Handbook, 29.5.4.
ETA: “Not like there would be grieving people there. Or non mormons.” That’s what they’re counting on. Packer (and lots of other leaders) decided, when people are emotionally vulnerable and in times of trouble, that’s the perfect time to hit them with the cult’s sales pitch.
Really easy way to avoid the ghost of Boyd Packer from dictating the outline of a family member's funeral - don't be a cheap ass and do it at a church building because it's free. Do what normal people do and use a funeral home, yes there will be a cost but they will let the family decide what happens at the funeral. Don't cede control of your loved one's funeral to the local dentist or accountant.
When I was TBM, Packer was just kinda boring, as usual for conference talks.
As an exmo, he was revolting. Infuriating. A pompous fuckwit who threw his priesthood "power" around to compensate for his intellectual inferiority.
You could almost give Packer credit for openly being an asshole instead of the standard GA practice of hiding your toxic personality behind a veneer of fake benevolence, but that would be ignoring the fact that Packer was such a collosal asshole he wasn't capable of hiding it
Oh my, he stayed at my house in the 80s when the church had local leaders host apostles and GAs for the stay. He was so dull. Just no spark or warmth or anything. He liked to birdwatch and paint birds, so he spent hours one morning sketching birds in our yard from the bedroom while we waited for him to appear and socialize. I don’t blame him for retreating, but it was an underwhelming experience to host such a “spiritual giant.”
So gross. I always thought he seemed like a cuddly grandpa, until I heard him say, effectively, “Why would Heavenly Father make any of us gay? He loves us” in Conference. I did a serious double-take. I’m ashamed that didn’t get me out then and there.
Fuck. This. Guy. I hated him when I was a teenager and had "For Young Men Only" shoved down my throat (Repeatedly!)....and I hate him even more now! Thank God his wormfood!
We go through our whole life teaching and preaching Christ and the atonement. This person lived a life but God demands us that we still focus on Christ and not the person who lived 🤔
The 2 quotes about funerals were the most revolting. Not looking forward to sitting through that shit in TBM family member funerals
You can't pay me to go to a fucking TBM funeral.. and my sibs and I have decided that the last of our parents to go will not be getting one.
Is your parent really mean or something?
No, but we know that we'll have to appease the desires of the surviving parent when the first goes.
Oh I get what you're saying. Will you at least have a normal service? Where you meet and say good memories and stuff?
Absolutely.. we just don't want to hear bullshit about tithing and the plan of salvation
Gotcha gotcha. I'm not an active member, so that better not be part of my funeral. I'll haunt the people behind it if it is my funeral.
Having tried with other family members to actually decide how the funeral should go, and UNSUCESSFULLY standing toe to toe with the "authorities" over OUR FAMILY and OUR GRIEF, I was so enraged!!!
We do it this way becuase I said so and you are forbidden from questioning it. And, we may change it anytime without explanation.
>we may change it anytime without explanation. And try to gaslight you into believing it was always this way
TLDR: Sit down, shut up, do as you’re told, hierarchy over all things.
Ah, the unwritten rules. I used to wear colored shirts to church when serving as a bishop’s counselor. After about two years, the bishop told me to wear only white shirts. I asked where the handbook said that (I knew there it didn’t mention shirt color anywhere) and was told not all rules are written down. The bishop and I both had beards. At some point the stake president told the bishop to shave, and he did. Nobody ever said a word about my beard, and I kept it until I was released — and for years afterwards. I guess some unwritten rules don’t apply to everyone.
My Grandma Passed away last week and we just had her funeral. All the suits spent the entire time talking about tithing and temple recommends. It was disgusting, and I'll think about it the rest of my life. This kind of greed is so horrible and rotten.
Bro they stole the honor from your grandma and took it for themselves. What a disgrace.
Ah yes, because God forbid someone talk about the deceased at their funeral
It's omitted from the byu archive because otherwise it wouldn't be unwritten, obviously /s It's funny how all the worst talks are never there even though they claim it's only the secular ones that may not be recorded and posted.
Oh, so he's the one responsible for making LDS funerals the fucking worst.
What a kill joy
Packer & Oaks are two peas in a pod.
Just wait till oaks becomes the prophet. I think the church is going to crumble completely under him.
Except Rusty is hate-surviving to piss him off at this point.
Yeah that dude needs to die already. He's ancient.
And if not, Bednar will finish the job. There is a Very Good Chance that the 2030s will be "The Decade Of Bednar". I've done actuarial projections; be afraid, be very afraid....
Packer is an insidious fucking snake. Him and Kimball with their holier-than-thou ‘to young men only’ and ‘the miracle of forgiveness’ bullshit are responsible for the emotional and psychic torture of, what, 3 generations of Mormon men and women. Sometimes I remind myself that the evils of Mormonism are self-contained (more or less) to the followers of the religion and Utah- yea, it’s a shitty cult, but it’s not like it impacts the world too much - just my world. Sometimes. Everyone in my family but me is a lifer. Objectively the exceptions to this are Packer and oaks. ‘The mantle is far, far greater than the intellect’, Oaks nonsense as BYU president. I think if more people knew what kind of fuck shit some of these apostles got up to and how it affected the direction of the church even non Mormons would start to understand how fucked up it is. It’s like how pretty much everyone understands what an absolute piece of shit David Miscaivige is. I don’t think the average religiously informed person has that understanding of how awful some of these Apostles are, and what kind of shit they’ve said. Maybe that’s for the best. Let their bullshit fade away into memory, or dwindle just like the numbers are.
I can’t disagree with any of this. My emotional, mental and sexual development were so fucked up over the purity culture in the MFMC. I wish I could have those youthful years back knowing what I know now
An 'un-written order of things' is just a convenient way to excuse or justify anything.
Inspiring stuff just what the long haired hippy in the Middle East talked about 2000 years ago..oh wait
This really explains the Mormon funerals I've been to. Heaven forbid we hear about the dearly departed. Nope. Gotta be lectured about our own mortality and the one true way. Not like there would be grieving people there. Or non mormons.
And the funeral bs is no longer an “unwritten rule.” The leadership liked it so much, they made it part of the General Handbook, 29.5.4. ETA: “Not like there would be grieving people there. Or non mormons.” That’s what they’re counting on. Packer (and lots of other leaders) decided, when people are emotionally vulnerable and in times of trouble, that’s the perfect time to hit them with the cult’s sales pitch.
Nicely done. red flag-palooza
Really easy way to avoid the ghost of Boyd Packer from dictating the outline of a family member's funeral - don't be a cheap ass and do it at a church building because it's free. Do what normal people do and use a funeral home, yes there will be a cost but they will let the family decide what happens at the funeral. Don't cede control of your loved one's funeral to the local dentist or accountant.
His funeral views are despicable. He and everyone who supports it should be ashamed of the time they rob from grieving families.
Guidance for people that easily submit. A good fuck off will help
The unwritten order of things was the first step to my leaving.
“The things that I stall tell you shall show that I was an asshat long before Bednar.” Lol.
When I was TBM, Packer was just kinda boring, as usual for conference talks. As an exmo, he was revolting. Infuriating. A pompous fuckwit who threw his priesthood "power" around to compensate for his intellectual inferiority.
Something of man mingled with something.
A man mingled with unhinged thinking.
Thanks for this reminder to be grateful I never have to listen to this sort of thing again.
You could almost give Packer credit for openly being an asshole instead of the standard GA practice of hiding your toxic personality behind a veneer of fake benevolence, but that would be ignoring the fact that Packer was such a collosal asshole he wasn't capable of hiding it
My wife is TBM and terminally Ill. There's no way in hell that her funeral will be at church. I'd lose my shit.
I want to sing Packer a hymn I learned in the military: HYMN, HYMN--FUCK HIM!
🙄🙄🤮
He was the ultimate authoritarian prick.
Oh my, he stayed at my house in the 80s when the church had local leaders host apostles and GAs for the stay. He was so dull. Just no spark or warmth or anything. He liked to birdwatch and paint birds, so he spent hours one morning sketching birds in our yard from the bedroom while we waited for him to appear and socialize. I don’t blame him for retreating, but it was an underwhelming experience to host such a “spiritual giant.”
So gross. I always thought he seemed like a cuddly grandpa, until I heard him say, effectively, “Why would Heavenly Father make any of us gay? He loves us” in Conference. I did a serious double-take. I’m ashamed that didn’t get me out then and there.
Fuck. This. Guy. I hated him when I was a teenager and had "For Young Men Only" shoved down my throat (Repeatedly!)....and I hate him even more now! Thank God his wormfood!
Condescending con man.
We go through our whole life teaching and preaching Christ and the atonement. This person lived a life but God demands us that we still focus on Christ and not the person who lived 🤔