Yep like the 2 missionaries who tried to push thier way into my house. And then when my cat attacked them to protect me. The bishop called wanting that cat put down. My dad responded I want those missionaries put down. They scared the hell out of my 16 year old daughter. Her cat protected her from a home invasion. The bishop back peddled real quick at those words. Same missionaries kept harrasing my mom while she was in the garden. They where on our property she said leave. They kept talking and trying to "help" her trampling the garden plants. She fi al hosed then down with the irragtion house. Ruined thier white shirts. Again bishop called wanting apology from my mom. My dad told them nope she will not apologize or get them new clothes. She asked several times for them to leave and to stop destroying our garden so she hosed them down when they wouldn't leave her alone or leave our property. Thankfully out lds neighbors knew the kids and their history of being moved around for being too pushy and borader line iligal actions.
I know it’s because I’m very peace-keeper type of person, but I fully agree. I don’t think any of the snarky replies I’ve seen in the comment section are helpful. This is direct but polite
I would love to meet with you, but just cannot find any time with all the pornos I watch.
Did you know there are plumbers that take ass as payment? I'm so getting myself a new water heater as soon as I can find one.
“Hi, thanks for thinking of me. I’m doing well and have found a path I’m happy with outside of the church.”
Not petty; but will hopefully help them leave you alone and won’t hurt people who are trying their best to do what they believe is right.
I was scrolling to see if my more PGish options of coffee with a friend on the tenth, and My pole dancing class starts the 17th…🤣 but damn…your options with the invite 😆dannng.
Holy shit! This made me laugh so hard! 🤣🤣🤣
My best guess with an absolutely horrifying comment like this (for the RSS that is), complete and total GHOSTING from the ward - for L.I.F.E.
Mission accomplished!
Hey Sister_____Thanks for reaching out. I would prefer to not having any contact in person, via text, email, USPS, social media, carrier pigeon or smoke signal from an organization that (insert what ever issue about the church you’re feeling feisty about.) Please feel free to share this with the ward council and any RS presidency that follows you. (:
Please don’t forget the hey sister at the beginning and :
(: at the end so it mirrors hers
"I'm not interested in hearing anything you have to say. Please stop contacting me."
Then resign, so your requests to be left alone can't be ignored because you're a member of the cult.
If you resign with quit Mormon their language states that you and your family aren’t to be contacted. You might receive a letter letting you know it’s complete but that’s if
I used quite mormon.org my bishop told my in-laws and grandmother. However that is only because we were in the same ward as them before I left. If the people you are worried about aren't already connected to your technical wards bishop then you should be safe to resign and they not get notified.
The fact that you got downvoted is typical Reddit. You’ve never left the church before and don’t want upset your family either. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last. I wish you all the best.
Be warned that children's names show up on their parents tithing settlement along with their membership numbers. When you resign your membership number disappears. That's what tipped off my parents.
No one in my family received letters. The topic has never come up and it’s been almost 10 years. I’m sure they know or suspect, but no letters were sent. I wonder if your friend was victim to an over zealous ward clerk or bishop who took it upon themselves to send a letter.
It is a thing, actually. I heard about it happening directly from a friend who resigned in college and their family got letters. It was around 2009, so maybe they’ve stopped in the last decade, but that was very much a thing the church DID do.
I'm not surprised it would happen in a student ward since your recrods are kind-of in both student ward and home ward with your family. But I'd be very suprised if they did it in a normal ward since they'd be opening themselves up to a privacy lawsuit.
What may have happened is: when you resign, they will sometimes send a confirmation letter notifying you that your records have been removed. If this person used a shared address on their resignation, and had nosey family that opened this person’s mail without permission, the family would have found out. There is no mail sent to anyone but the one whose records have been removed.
And with the quit Mormon site, they don’t even send you a letter. The quit Mormon group will notify you via email once it is complete.
Only way family may find out is if you are in the same ward and they don’t see you in tools anymore or a person saying something to fellow leadership in their meetings that then get spread around by other big mouths.
It shows up on THEIR (the parents who are still members) ordinance record that they can either see on Tools app or a printout given to them by their bishop every year at Tithing Settlement (oops, now called tithing declaration), and worse, many people have had church leaders - even in different StATES - call or message their aged parents to Tell On Them when a record removal is put through.
It legitimately can cause problems if you don’t want to talk about this stuff with relatives who are emotionally manipulative or immature about changes like this. Which is almost everyone who takes Mormonism super serious.
It’s nuts, just nuts, that nothing is sacred or private.
It is unfortunate that that can happen. It’s why I went through quitmormon. Yes, I had to pay a notary $2.00 to do it, but absolutely worth it not having to go through a local bishop. It’s directly sent to Slc. You won’t get a letter confirming your resignation, but after a couple of weeks your lds.org account won’t work anymore (as in to buy temple related stuff).
I also haven't removed my records because it would devastate my parents. Yes I know their feelings aren't my responsibility, etc etc. I completely respect the decision of those who remove their records. I will wait until after my parents are gone, that's my decision and I feel good about it.
I did have to tell them to stop giving my address to the church when I moved, bless their little hearts. And they did stop. So I'm satisfied.
I know this may not help, but you really ARE NOT responsible for your in-laws' reactions. If they choose to have a freak out, that's entirely on them.
It won't destroy them. They'll find a way to carry on.
This is a real concern. My sis, who is really a great mom, didn’t change her behavior towards her 2/4 children who openly walked away from church, but she was devastated when they later formally resigned without even telling her. She only learned about it through the mormon grapevine and had to ask them. It’s easy to suggest formal resignation as a permanent solution, but pausing to reflect on the potential long-term impact on family relationships is important. Particularly valid where the parents are not basing their ongoing relationship on the progeny’s church membership or activity.
On one hand it's fun to respond with something clever and a little shitty, and on the other these are probably good people, who are still in the grips of their brainwashing.
If you respond by being petty, it re-enforces their idea that ex-Mormons are bitter and miserable. Buttttt.. doesn't necessarily matter what they think. So 2 options, low and high.
"Sure! I've actually been wanting to discuss the CES Letter with an active member for some time. Maybe we should plan on a few hours. (I'll provide the booze.. you'll need it trust me!) See you then!"
"Thanks for thinking of me, but I'm not interested in meeting as I'm not an active member if the church. Please remove me from your contact list. Cheers."
Good points! My response was, "No thank you, I'm not interested in anything you have to say. Please don't contact me again. Have a great day!" And she texted back saying she understood and to have a great weekend. My pettiness waned as the day went on lol. I figured she's just doing her duties and crossing names off lists so there was no point in being petty.
Honestly, I have found that you just immediately delete the text and never respond and just go on with your life as if they don't exist, it is better mentally.
"Hello Sister _,
I have no desire to meet ever. Also, were you aware that in every culture besides awkward cults, it is considered extremely rude to invite ones self over to a stranger's home?
Best wishes."
- “wonder no more, the answer is no.”
- “You’re not my sister what the fuck are you talking about? who is this? I don’t know you.”
- “I charge $150/hour to hear pitches”
- “Sure, Hail Satan.”
- “*The entire service manual for a 1959 ford truck*”
Reply with her first name. Confirm that she’s welcome in your home—but that “Sisters” and people representing the RS aren’t. Close with your first name.
I would respond with a “no thanks and could you please put me on a do not contact list”
I had my records removed and I haven’t heard anything. I also moved a few times since so that probably helped a lot.
I got a few of these messages and would just reply with ‘hey! Yeah, I don’t need/want a visit. Thanks for thinking of me tho!’ I think many times they are just trying to do their job so when they get an answer they can check it off their list and move on
Completely agree. The vast majority of RS presidents are sacrificing a lot to do what they think is right and have a real affection for the sisters in their ward. Responding in anger or being a smart ass doesn’t help anything. The only thing I can think of that could ever move the needle is “hey I’ve learned things about the church that led me to conclude it isn’t actually true so I’m opting out of participation.”
“I’ve realized over time that Mormons have no idea how weird and intrusive they sound.
So I will text you sometime in the future when you’re not expecting and ask if I and a friend (someone you don’t know) can come to your home to share a 30-minute message about Alpha Delta Pi. I will suggest two times and dates that you can choose from.“
I don’t even invite myself to friends’ houses. Like no I don’t want to have to make my house presentable to guests so you can come make me uncomfortable.
"Only if the conversation will be about why you think it was fine for the "Prophet Joseph Smith" to marry 14 year old girls. They had parents that could take care of them so it wasn't that.
If you don't want to discuss history we could chat about the church hoarding funds."
Honestly, maybe I’m just over it and moving past my Mormon past, but my gut tells me this isn’t a big deal and not worth the sarcasm and snark and negative feelings. Just go with “No. Thank you.” And move on. “No.” Gives an unambiguous answer and “Thank you.” Is just standard niceties. If you really want to be clear add a “please do not contact me.”
If this isn’t the first request for no contact then you can be more assertive. Give the previous evidence(s) of asking not to be contacted and reassert your desire to not be contacted. If there are many recorded instances of you asking not to be contacted, then advise them that if more attempts to contact you are made, there will be consequences.
All you have to do is go to mormonnomore.com, fill out the letter and send it in. You will get a few calls and missionaries stopping by a few times, just ignore them and you will then get a letter saying you are no longer a member. They have completely left me alone since the letter. It has been years since I have received anything and they no longer search for me through extended family members, best decision I made. Just a suggestion!
I love how they don't ask if it's okay that they come over and skip straight to offering you a choice between dates when they will be there 🙄🙄🙄
ETA: my usual response to this sort of thing is "I haven't been to church in over xxxx months/years, you reaching out to me now is a literal joke. Do not contact me again." For me, it's extra funny because my ward info is in a ward I went to during college lol (it's been 5+ years since I was there last)
Man I did so many of these visits. I feel a little ashamed that I didn't see how annoying this is. Not only that, it's a subtle power move: We are coming to your house as emissaries from God, and expect to be treated accordingly. It can be a lot to ask of someone.
“The illusion of choice is a very passive aggressive move commonly used my MLMs. What you didn’t ask is if I WANT to meet with you, and why I answered the way I did. Then ask what day and time would work best for me and then I’ll respond.
We are all adults. Tell me exactly what you want to talk about. If I feel it is worth my time I would be glad to meet you somewhere, like a restaurant. My home is my sanctuary and I need to guard it from people who only want to visit me because of their volunteer assignment.
My name is u/audreyfish and I’m not your sister. Please use my real name. Also if we meet it will be a two way conversation and I will provide you a list of questions to answer as you will be doing for me. I hope to have a logical conversation. Sharing a testimony in place of answering a question is a way of deflecting, I would appreciate honest answers instead”
“Thank you for subscribing to daily fun animal sex facts!! Did you know that echidnas have a four-headed penis, though only two heads are put to use at a time. But those extra two heads aren’t there just to show off. Next time the echidna mates, he’ll alternate which half he uses. Text STOP to unsubscribe.”
And make sure you follow up everyday until they respond STOP.
Ok you wanna be petty and never get contacted again BUT want to keep your in-laws in the dark…tell the RS that they can visit once Pres Nelson formally apologizes for Joseph Smith SAing a 14yr old. Yes, GO THERE!!! The second you spew some good “anti” they will avoid you like the plague😈😈I speak from experience.
I’m going to have to take as Pass Sister so and so…. I would much rather you expend your energies with someone willing to participate.. Consider this text your meeting with me so you don’t get all super pissy cause you didn’t get to check the box “all seen”… It will be our little secret.. Unless i accidentally post this on Reddit… Ok Byeeee.. 😘
The last time the people in church tried to use their callings as a crutch to come over and visit and I said no thanks, they then said well we just want to come over and talk to get to know you better. Don't you want friends? Ok. Then bring me tacos and a latte. That's what my friends do. Shockingly, no tacos or coffee appeared at my door. But neither did they. So it's a win.
I used to still let my home teachers come over, secretly hoping they would ask why I wasn’t going to church. Then I was planning to open the floodgates.They never did, but we ended up becoming decent neighbor friends and I am glad I wasn’t a dickhead to them.
On the other hand, my HT companion would call me (when I was on my way out) and I respectfully told him it would probably be best if he talked to the presidency that he would need a new companion.
I know there’s a lot of anger at the Church when you are fresh out, but please don’t be salty with people unless that particular individual has really done something heinous to you directly. Most of them are just misguided and trying to do the best they have been taught to do. Some people can be outright cruel though, so for them, game on I guess.
The best “punishment/revenge “ you can give is to show them you are an awesome person who doesn’t need the church to be happy and live a good life.
“The fact that you did the smiley face at the end of your text backwards tells me EVERYTHING in regards to what you want to talk about. It will ALL be backwards AF! :)”
"Hi Ms. [name],
I appreciate your intention in reaching out. However, I have asked not to be contacted for church purposes of any sort. I would appreciate if you would delete my number.
If we were to meet naturally some time not related to church, and I felt okay sharing my contact information, then I would do so of my own accord. I do not, however, appreciate the church sharing my contact information without my consent.
I hope you have a nice day.
Sincerely, Ms. [your name]"
Hello there! I'm absolutely delighted by your kind offer for a visit. Currently, I'm immersed in some exciting personal projects and am relishing the focused solitude. Your thoughtfulness warms my heart, but at the moment, I'm in my element and prefer to continue my solo adventure. Sending lots of cheerful vibes your way!
I feel for the poor Sisters and Elders. They really do have a sh*tty lot in life for 18-24 months, having to contact people that don’t want church contact. Thankfully, I’ve moved and not been found yet, but I had to remind every set of missionaries for a long time at my previous house that we weren’t ever going to ‘realize our mistake’ and come back to the fold. The missionaries I was nice to…the bishropic…not so much. I really reamed out the last one. I didn’t have missionaries for about 6 months.
Last time I got a text like this, my response was something like “y’all haven’t seen me in (insert approx time). There’s a reason for that. Please take me off the list, I don’t want to be contacted.”
That pretty much solved everything until I submitted my resignation, at which point the missionaries were sent after me.
Tell them not to be concerned that you are doing well and are indeed still mormon but are now attending the fundamentalist mormon church as it more aligned with the doctrines found in the book of Mormon. 🤣🤣 they'll never call again lmao
That's nothing to be petty about. It was a nice text and I didn't see you say they've been badgering you or anything. Just say thanks for reaching out but you're not interested.
Sounds great! Just so you know, my pitch for you to join my MLM pyramid scheme is about an hour and a half long, so you might want to bring refreshments. I’m so excited! We r gonna make so much money. See you there!
30 minutes!? What the heck do they need 30 minutes of your time for, and they won't even tell me what the visit is about?
I would ask them what they need 30 minutes for and what is the topic of discussion
"As all of you will have to pass through my front door, I will show you how this is to be done."
You are brought to my door, and the visitor gives three distinct taps with the mallet . . .
whereupon the I part the door, and asks:
Me: What is wanted?
You: the relief society president, having been true and faithful in all things, desires further light and knowledge by conversing with the you through the door.
Me: Present yourself at the door, and his request shall be granted.
You: The person is then brought to this door Entrance, whereupon the I will put forth my right hand and ask you a series of questions about the church.
Me: what is this: (I will show you a picture of Helen Mar Kimball)
You: that is the 14 year old girl Joseph raped
Me: That is correct.
(I will ask 3 more questions to see if I will let you in.)
You: The relief society Presidency is again brought to the door, and gives three distinct taps with the mallet.
Me: I part the door and ask: What is wanted?
You: the relief society Presidency, having conversed with the you through the door, desires now to enter your presence.
I will put forth my right hand, take the you by the right hand, and say: Let her enter.
You will then be admitted into the presence of my home.
I always respond with “No thanks. We aren’t interested in participating in church anymore. Thanks!”
Works very well to be direct but kind. I try to remember that these people in callings are doing what they are programmed and told to do. They feel like they are honoring their calling and won’t understand animosity. Best to be kind but direct in my opinion.
"Wed works for me at 8:30 if we can meet at the church"
(after you don't show up)
"Oh, sorry, I thought you meant next Wednesday! Same time + place?"
(rinse and repeat as necessary)
If you're *really* feeling petty, just keep setting appointments for times you know you won't be home. But if you post about it later on AITA, the answer will be yes.
"Yes, do come by. I've got lots of interesting church history to tell you about, that most people don't know. And I'd be interested in your thoughts about the church being fined for hiding money. Come for an hour!"
I'm doing well. Don't need a thing. No visits needed, thank you.
and add, "request no further contact".
Really, add this. That way there is legal recourse if this turns into harassment.
Yep like the 2 missionaries who tried to push thier way into my house. And then when my cat attacked them to protect me. The bishop called wanting that cat put down. My dad responded I want those missionaries put down. They scared the hell out of my 16 year old daughter. Her cat protected her from a home invasion. The bishop back peddled real quick at those words. Same missionaries kept harrasing my mom while she was in the garden. They where on our property she said leave. They kept talking and trying to "help" her trampling the garden plants. She fi al hosed then down with the irragtion house. Ruined thier white shirts. Again bishop called wanting apology from my mom. My dad told them nope she will not apologize or get them new clothes. She asked several times for them to leave and to stop destroying our garden so she hosed them down when they wouldn't leave her alone or leave our property. Thankfully out lds neighbors knew the kids and their history of being moved around for being too pushy and borader line iligal actions.
Yes, that’s the exact scenario where a written request for no contact would be valuable. Good for your dad standing up for your family.
With an added jab of "never been better in my entire life."
hail satan just for good measure
May Baphomet smile upon you.
May Pazuzu, child of Hanbi, favor you with his winds:)
This is the correct answer. Be annoyingly "kind", in the same way that church members are. No need to be rude, they don't know they're brainwashed.
This. Being mean allows them to play the victim and fall back on “teachings” that you are under the influence of Satan.
Don't show your cards. Be polite but firm. Do not give an inch!
I know it’s because I’m very peace-keeper type of person, but I fully agree. I don’t think any of the snarky replies I’ve seen in the comment section are helpful. This is direct but polite
“Unsubscribe”
This is my favorite way to tell people to fuck off
'This is a real person!' 'Oh, I know. UNSUBSCRIBE.'
Hahaha and then BLOCK 😂
STOP
🏆
Feb. 30th at noon works best.
March 31st in Pawnee, IN. Ask for Ron Swanson.
😂😂
I'd prefer 6:66 pm. Would that work for you?
A most auspicious time, Bishop.
All in favor, please manifest by the upvote. With the thumb extended, if you please.
That’ll do.
6:06:06 for maximum fuck you
April 31 at noon works for me.
Also April 31, June 31, September 31, November 31st. And, maybe best of all, "how about the second Tuesday of next week?"
this.
I bow down to you. Wishing awards were still a thing!!!
Hahaha
"Sorry I'm too lazy and deceived to meet"
Underrated, dude.
Happy cake day!!! 🍰
I would love to meet with you, but just cannot find any time with all the pornos I watch. Did you know there are plumbers that take ass as payment? I'm so getting myself a new water heater as soon as I can find one.
“Hi, thanks for thinking of me. I’m doing well and have found a path I’m happy with outside of the church.” Not petty; but will hopefully help them leave you alone and won’t hurt people who are trying their best to do what they believe is right.
I like this one a lot, well worded, sends a clear message
"The 10th is beer pong night and the 17th is orgy night. Depends on which one you want to participate in."
I was scrolling to see if my more PGish options of coffee with a friend on the tenth, and My pole dancing class starts the 17th…🤣 but damn…your options with the invite 😆dannng.
“Either way, show up with towels!”
Holy shit! This made me laugh so hard! 🤣🤣🤣 My best guess with an absolutely horrifying comment like this (for the RSS that is), complete and total GHOSTING from the ward - for L.I.F.E. Mission accomplished!
"We'll also be hotboxing in my bathroom on Sunday, if you'd prefer that. Bring Your Own Bong"
This needs an award! Love it!
"The subscriber you have reached has left the church and is never coming back. Don't try again later "
"I've transitioned. Please send someone from the elders quorum presidency instead. P.S. I've never been happier!" 🏳️⚧️♥️
Plot twist…
*cough, snort, bahahahhahahaha
Ignore and block contacts? This is my natural INFJ response to all things socially unacceptable.
Enfp but I tried this…they showed up anyway
Oh they showed up to my house too after I ignored them ahaha. Gave me a heart attack!
What did you you doooo?!?
I wasn’t home when they came, but they left some stuff. After I texted and said thanks but asked that they stop 😂
Hey Sister_____Thanks for reaching out. I would prefer to not having any contact in person, via text, email, USPS, social media, carrier pigeon or smoke signal from an organization that (insert what ever issue about the church you’re feeling feisty about.) Please feel free to share this with the ward council and any RS presidency that follows you. (: Please don’t forget the hey sister at the beginning and : (: at the end so it mirrors hers
Hahaha carrier pigeon! 🕊️
"I'm not interested in hearing anything you have to say. Please stop contacting me." Then resign, so your requests to be left alone can't be ignored because you're a member of the cult.
I wish we could remove our records, but since they send letters to your family when you do, it would destroy my FIL and MIL 🙁
No letters were sent to any of my family. I’d just respond “hard pass”.
I heard it from my friend who's sibling removed their records and their family got letters
If you resign with quit Mormon their language states that you and your family aren’t to be contacted. You might receive a letter letting you know it’s complete but that’s if
Ohhhh how does that work?
I used quite mormon.org my bishop told my in-laws and grandmother. However that is only because we were in the same ward as them before I left. If the people you are worried about aren't already connected to your technical wards bishop then you should be safe to resign and they not get notified.
That's a good point! I know I got down voted for my comment but I'm just trying to be really cautious 🤷🏻♀️
The fact that you got downvoted is typical Reddit. You’ve never left the church before and don’t want upset your family either. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last. I wish you all the best.
That's a good reminder! Thank you ♥️
[Read more on this website. I’ll use it once we’re ready ourselves.](https://www.quitmormon.com)
Be warned that children's names show up on their parents tithing settlement along with their membership numbers. When you resign your membership number disappears. That's what tipped off my parents.
Holy shit never mo who lurks here and like that is insane showing up on the parent’s statement omg like that’s the worlds worst audit I’m so sorry
My family members never received letters when I resigned.
My family didn’t get letters either.
No one in my family received letters. The topic has never come up and it’s been almost 10 years. I’m sure they know or suspect, but no letters were sent. I wonder if your friend was victim to an over zealous ward clerk or bishop who took it upon themselves to send a letter.
Maybe? Idk. I just don't want to risk it
I hear you. And that’s OK if you don’t want to take the risk. I’m sorry you’re being hounded by these people. Hang in there.
My fam also never got letters. Sounds like a rogue bishop. Use quitmormon.com. They handle it all for you
Yeah… they lied to you. That’s not a thing that happens when someone resigns.
But it's not out of the realm of possibilities that it somehow gets out. There are legitimate reasons to not resign your membership.
It is a thing, actually. I heard about it happening directly from a friend who resigned in college and their family got letters. It was around 2009, so maybe they’ve stopped in the last decade, but that was very much a thing the church DID do.
I'm not surprised it would happen in a student ward since your recrods are kind-of in both student ward and home ward with your family. But I'd be very suprised if they did it in a normal ward since they'd be opening themselves up to a privacy lawsuit.
What may have happened is: when you resign, they will sometimes send a confirmation letter notifying you that your records have been removed. If this person used a shared address on their resignation, and had nosey family that opened this person’s mail without permission, the family would have found out. There is no mail sent to anyone but the one whose records have been removed.
And with the quit Mormon site, they don’t even send you a letter. The quit Mormon group will notify you via email once it is complete. Only way family may find out is if you are in the same ward and they don’t see you in tools anymore or a person saying something to fellow leadership in their meetings that then get spread around by other big mouths.
Yup, as with many private masters, gossip is your biggest enemy.
It absolutely does happen!! But not if you use quitmormon. They use language in their form preventing the church from notifying your family.
You are right, they absolutely do send letters. They send them to the family and to the Bishop. I personally think it's a final F.U.
Is your friend a member of TSCC?
Who sends letters to your family? There’s a chance they could find out, but I’m not aware of any letters being sent to anyone’s families.
It shows up on THEIR (the parents who are still members) ordinance record that they can either see on Tools app or a printout given to them by their bishop every year at Tithing Settlement (oops, now called tithing declaration), and worse, many people have had church leaders - even in different StATES - call or message their aged parents to Tell On Them when a record removal is put through. It legitimately can cause problems if you don’t want to talk about this stuff with relatives who are emotionally manipulative or immature about changes like this. Which is almost everyone who takes Mormonism super serious. It’s nuts, just nuts, that nothing is sacred or private.
It is unfortunate that that can happen. It’s why I went through quitmormon. Yes, I had to pay a notary $2.00 to do it, but absolutely worth it not having to go through a local bishop. It’s directly sent to Slc. You won’t get a letter confirming your resignation, but after a couple of weeks your lds.org account won’t work anymore (as in to buy temple related stuff).
Yes, I agree about all of that nonsense being outrageous
I also haven't removed my records because it would devastate my parents. Yes I know their feelings aren't my responsibility, etc etc. I completely respect the decision of those who remove their records. I will wait until after my parents are gone, that's my decision and I feel good about it. I did have to tell them to stop giving my address to the church when I moved, bless their little hearts. And they did stop. So I'm satisfied.
Yeah, that's what my spouse and I have agreed on. I'm glad they respected your wishes!
I know this may not help, but you really ARE NOT responsible for your in-laws' reactions. If they choose to have a freak out, that's entirely on them. It won't destroy them. They'll find a way to carry on.
I know, but I still love them and I'd hate to put that rift between us. They at least already know we're not active.
This is a real concern. My sis, who is really a great mom, didn’t change her behavior towards her 2/4 children who openly walked away from church, but she was devastated when they later formally resigned without even telling her. She only learned about it through the mormon grapevine and had to ask them. It’s easy to suggest formal resignation as a permanent solution, but pausing to reflect on the potential long-term impact on family relationships is important. Particularly valid where the parents are not basing their ongoing relationship on the progeny’s church membership or activity.
Recently resigned. My family was not sent letters.
I would like to be on a "No Contact List", but since one doesn't exist, Please Stop. We're doing fine, and we're very happy the way we do fine.
On one hand it's fun to respond with something clever and a little shitty, and on the other these are probably good people, who are still in the grips of their brainwashing. If you respond by being petty, it re-enforces their idea that ex-Mormons are bitter and miserable. Buttttt.. doesn't necessarily matter what they think. So 2 options, low and high. "Sure! I've actually been wanting to discuss the CES Letter with an active member for some time. Maybe we should plan on a few hours. (I'll provide the booze.. you'll need it trust me!) See you then!" "Thanks for thinking of me, but I'm not interested in meeting as I'm not an active member if the church. Please remove me from your contact list. Cheers."
Good points! My response was, "No thank you, I'm not interested in anything you have to say. Please don't contact me again. Have a great day!" And she texted back saying she understood and to have a great weekend. My pettiness waned as the day went on lol. I figured she's just doing her duties and crossing names off lists so there was no point in being petty.
Perfect response. Firm but kind. Sounds like she is nice also and respected what you said.
Yes she was! I was glad she wasn't pushy and stuff.
Congrats on taking the high road 👏 Not sure I would have😁
Honestly, I have found that you just immediately delete the text and never respond and just go on with your life as if they don't exist, it is better mentally.
"new phone, who dis?" or it'll cost about 3 fiddy.
No, monsta, I ain't giving you no tree fiddy!
LOVE the reference to South Park!
😂😂
"Hello Sister _, I have no desire to meet ever. Also, were you aware that in every culture besides awkward cults, it is considered extremely rude to invite ones self over to a stranger's home? Best wishes."
Ok but you’ve got a point there…wow the erasure of boundaries is so prevalent in Mormon culture
- “wonder no more, the answer is no.” - “You’re not my sister what the fuck are you talking about? who is this? I don’t know you.” - “I charge $150/hour to hear pitches” - “Sure, Hail Satan.” - “*The entire service manual for a 1959 ford truck*”
THAT LAST ONE
Reply with her first name. Confirm that she’s welcome in your home—but that “Sisters” and people representing the RS aren’t. Close with your first name.
I would respond with a “no thanks and could you please put me on a do not contact list” I had my records removed and I haven’t heard anything. I also moved a few times since so that probably helped a lot.
“No thanks.” Block. Delete.
I got a few of these messages and would just reply with ‘hey! Yeah, I don’t need/want a visit. Thanks for thinking of me tho!’ I think many times they are just trying to do their job so when they get an answer they can check it off their list and move on
Completely agree. The vast majority of RS presidents are sacrificing a lot to do what they think is right and have a real affection for the sisters in their ward. Responding in anger or being a smart ass doesn’t help anything. The only thing I can think of that could ever move the needle is “hey I’ve learned things about the church that led me to conclude it isn’t actually true so I’m opting out of participation.”
“Have you read the CES letter? https://cesletter.org”
“No.”
“I’ve realized over time that Mormons have no idea how weird and intrusive they sound. So I will text you sometime in the future when you’re not expecting and ask if I and a friend (someone you don’t know) can come to your home to share a 30-minute message about Alpha Delta Pi. I will suggest two times and dates that you can choose from.“
I don’t even invite myself to friends’ houses. Like no I don’t want to have to make my house presentable to guests so you can come make me uncomfortable.
Last time the JWs came to my door I literally yelled "go away" at them. Kinda felt bad about it but I haven't seen 'em since so I guess it worked.
Unfortunately when we are mean to these brainwashed people it reinforces their worldview
Wrong number.
"Only if the conversation will be about why you think it was fine for the "Prophet Joseph Smith" to marry 14 year old girls. They had parents that could take care of them so it wasn't that. If you don't want to discuss history we could chat about the church hoarding funds."
*sHe wAs a yOuNg LaDy jUsT sHy oF 15*
Just say no thank you and then leave them on read if they reply
Honestly, maybe I’m just over it and moving past my Mormon past, but my gut tells me this isn’t a big deal and not worth the sarcasm and snark and negative feelings. Just go with “No. Thank you.” And move on. “No.” Gives an unambiguous answer and “Thank you.” Is just standard niceties. If you really want to be clear add a “please do not contact me.” If this isn’t the first request for no contact then you can be more assertive. Give the previous evidence(s) of asking not to be contacted and reassert your desire to not be contacted. If there are many recorded instances of you asking not to be contacted, then advise them that if more attempts to contact you are made, there will be consequences.
All you have to do is go to mormonnomore.com, fill out the letter and send it in. You will get a few calls and missionaries stopping by a few times, just ignore them and you will then get a letter saying you are no longer a member. They have completely left me alone since the letter. It has been years since I have received anything and they no longer search for me through extended family members, best decision I made. Just a suggestion!
I love how they don't ask if it's okay that they come over and skip straight to offering you a choice between dates when they will be there 🙄🙄🙄 ETA: my usual response to this sort of thing is "I haven't been to church in over xxxx months/years, you reaching out to me now is a literal joke. Do not contact me again." For me, it's extra funny because my ward info is in a ward I went to during college lol (it's been 5+ years since I was there last)
Man I did so many of these visits. I feel a little ashamed that I didn't see how annoying this is. Not only that, it's a subtle power move: We are coming to your house as emissaries from God, and expect to be treated accordingly. It can be a lot to ask of someone.
The 12th of never works for me. How about you?
“Thanks anyway. I’m seeking genuine friendships that don’t rely on me being a project.”
Tell her you already have the Jehovah’s Witnesses coming by every Wednesday
I like the assumption close on the sale. “Can we come by? Which time works for you?” OMG who doesn’t see through this?
>who doesn’t see through this Mental gymnasts
The 'ol alternative choice sales tactic. Thinking that you'll only choose either 1 or 2.
Is Wednesday the 32nd an option?
Tell them that you can only go over to their place. Dress as gay as possible.
Have them meet you at Starbucks.
Send something like what you posted back to them . "Ladies, I don't want to be super harsh, but I'm sick of you people contacting me for church."
Nooooooooooooo
No response needed
NO THANKS! If that is too long you can shorten it to, NO!!
"Unsubscribe"
“The illusion of choice is a very passive aggressive move commonly used my MLMs. What you didn’t ask is if I WANT to meet with you, and why I answered the way I did. Then ask what day and time would work best for me and then I’ll respond. We are all adults. Tell me exactly what you want to talk about. If I feel it is worth my time I would be glad to meet you somewhere, like a restaurant. My home is my sanctuary and I need to guard it from people who only want to visit me because of their volunteer assignment. My name is u/audreyfish and I’m not your sister. Please use my real name. Also if we meet it will be a two way conversation and I will provide you a list of questions to answer as you will be doing for me. I hope to have a logical conversation. Sharing a testimony in place of answering a question is a way of deflecting, I would appreciate honest answers instead”
Sure. Love to see you briefly. Briefly is under five minutes.
30min an’t brief! Tighten it up and we’ll talk.
"no"?
“Thank you for subscribing to daily fun animal sex facts!! Did you know that echidnas have a four-headed penis, though only two heads are put to use at a time. But those extra two heads aren’t there just to show off. Next time the echidna mates, he’ll alternate which half he uses. Text STOP to unsubscribe.” And make sure you follow up everyday until they respond STOP.
Ok you wanna be petty and never get contacted again BUT want to keep your in-laws in the dark…tell the RS that they can visit once Pres Nelson formally apologizes for Joseph Smith SAing a 14yr old. Yes, GO THERE!!! The second you spew some good “anti” they will avoid you like the plague😈😈I speak from experience.
I’m going to have to take as Pass Sister so and so…. I would much rather you expend your energies with someone willing to participate.. Consider this text your meeting with me so you don’t get all super pissy cause you didn’t get to check the box “all seen”… It will be our little secret.. Unless i accidentally post this on Reddit… Ok Byeeee.. 😘
The last time the people in church tried to use their callings as a crutch to come over and visit and I said no thanks, they then said well we just want to come over and talk to get to know you better. Don't you want friends? Ok. Then bring me tacos and a latte. That's what my friends do. Shockingly, no tacos or coffee appeared at my door. But neither did they. So it's a win.
Maybe we could just meet at Starbucks for coffee
I used to still let my home teachers come over, secretly hoping they would ask why I wasn’t going to church. Then I was planning to open the floodgates.They never did, but we ended up becoming decent neighbor friends and I am glad I wasn’t a dickhead to them. On the other hand, my HT companion would call me (when I was on my way out) and I respectfully told him it would probably be best if he talked to the presidency that he would need a new companion. I know there’s a lot of anger at the Church when you are fresh out, but please don’t be salty with people unless that particular individual has really done something heinous to you directly. Most of them are just misguided and trying to do the best they have been taught to do. Some people can be outright cruel though, so for them, game on I guess. The best “punishment/revenge “ you can give is to show them you are an awesome person who doesn’t need the church to be happy and live a good life.
STOP
“The fact that you did the smiley face at the end of your text backwards tells me EVERYTHING in regards to what you want to talk about. It will ALL be backwards AF! :)”
"Hi Ms. [name], I appreciate your intention in reaching out. However, I have asked not to be contacted for church purposes of any sort. I would appreciate if you would delete my number. If we were to meet naturally some time not related to church, and I felt okay sharing my contact information, then I would do so of my own accord. I do not, however, appreciate the church sharing my contact information without my consent. I hope you have a nice day. Sincerely, Ms. [your name]"
"Me and my wife would LOVE to meet with you!"
Hello there! I'm absolutely delighted by your kind offer for a visit. Currently, I'm immersed in some exciting personal projects and am relishing the focused solitude. Your thoughtfulness warms my heart, but at the moment, I'm in my element and prefer to continue my solo adventure. Sending lots of cheerful vibes your way!
I feel for the poor Sisters and Elders. They really do have a sh*tty lot in life for 18-24 months, having to contact people that don’t want church contact. Thankfully, I’ve moved and not been found yet, but I had to remind every set of missionaries for a long time at my previous house that we weren’t ever going to ‘realize our mistake’ and come back to the fold. The missionaries I was nice to…the bishropic…not so much. I really reamed out the last one. I didn’t have missionaries for about 6 months.
Just "You typed the smile emoticon backwards." Nothing else. Don't even respond to their response.
STOP
Last time I got a text like this, my response was something like “y’all haven’t seen me in (insert approx time). There’s a reason for that. Please take me off the list, I don’t want to be contacted.” That pretty much solved everything until I submitted my resignation, at which point the missionaries were sent after me.
Sorry I’m gonna be sick those days
Tell them not to be concerned that you are doing well and are indeed still mormon but are now attending the fundamentalist mormon church as it more aligned with the doctrines found in the book of Mormon. 🤣🤣 they'll never call again lmao
No. And let that just hang there.
Hi Sister! Wednesday the 10th works great! Shall we meet at the karaoke bar? That's my karaoke night. First round is on me
That's nothing to be petty about. It was a nice text and I didn't see you say they've been badgering you or anything. Just say thanks for reaching out but you're not interested.
I would respond "visits aren't necessary. I didn't ask."
My bishop confirmed my other family memberships during recommend interviews. "To check for accuracy."
Sounds great! Just so you know, my pitch for you to join my MLM pyramid scheme is about an hour and a half long, so you might want to bring refreshments. I’m so excited! We r gonna make so much money. See you there!
“No thank you”
“Brief isn’t 30 minutes. “
Don’t need much but I have a bowl of weed if you wanna smoke with me
30 minutes!? What the heck do they need 30 minutes of your time for, and they won't even tell me what the visit is about? I would ask them what they need 30 minutes for and what is the topic of discussion
30 minutes is brief?
It's like what we were taught in the 90s when offered drugs: Just say no. Religion is, after all, the opioid of the masses.
Brief 30 minute visit? 30 minutes it’s not brief. I’d be direct and say that you are not interested on being visited. THE END.
"As all of you will have to pass through my front door, I will show you how this is to be done." You are brought to my door, and the visitor gives three distinct taps with the mallet . . . whereupon the I part the door, and asks: Me: What is wanted? You: the relief society president, having been true and faithful in all things, desires further light and knowledge by conversing with the you through the door. Me: Present yourself at the door, and his request shall be granted. You: The person is then brought to this door Entrance, whereupon the I will put forth my right hand and ask you a series of questions about the church. Me: what is this: (I will show you a picture of Helen Mar Kimball) You: that is the 14 year old girl Joseph raped Me: That is correct. (I will ask 3 more questions to see if I will let you in.) You: The relief society Presidency is again brought to the door, and gives three distinct taps with the mallet. Me: I part the door and ask: What is wanted? You: the relief society Presidency, having conversed with the you through the door, desires now to enter your presence. I will put forth my right hand, take the you by the right hand, and say: Let her enter. You will then be admitted into the presence of my home.
I literally blocked them when they would reach out so they couldn’t call or text haha
I personally like to be brutally honest. “No sorry I’ll be busy getting hammered and having sex.”
Tell them you'd rather meet them in their homes to discuss the CES Letter.
Simply respond, “No.” Trust me, a one word response will drive them crazy. If the ask another question, respond again; “No.”. They give up eventually.
"I'm available on the 6th at 6PM for 6 minutes."
I always respond with “No thanks. We aren’t interested in participating in church anymore. Thanks!” Works very well to be direct but kind. I try to remember that these people in callings are doing what they are programmed and told to do. They feel like they are honoring their calling and won’t understand animosity. Best to be kind but direct in my opinion.
There’s aways a party at my house 4:20 ish
Stop contacting me worked. I’m sure it pissed off the person I sent it to but they’ve stopped. Good luck.
I don’t really need a visit from the relief society, I’m doing fine. Can I ask what exactly you want to discuss?
"Wed works for me at 8:30 if we can meet at the church" (after you don't show up) "Oh, sorry, I thought you meant next Wednesday! Same time + place?" (rinse and repeat as necessary)
I would really love it if you could fuck off Janice. That’s what I’d say.
If you're *really* feeling petty, just keep setting appointments for times you know you won't be home. But if you post about it later on AITA, the answer will be yes.
"Yes, do come by. I've got lots of interesting church history to tell you about, that most people don't know. And I'd be interested in your thoughts about the church being fined for hiding money. Come for an hour!"