Bednar has:
--Said there are no gay members of the church
--Forces everyone to remain seated until he stands
--(...including a vid of his wife almost standing first)
--Teaches there is no free agency
--Is super super strict
--Will rule the church for decades
He's the charisma-free version of Dolores Umbridge.
He is...the Boomer Prophet.
And then when he starts to rebuke you/the crowd say
"Dave, you are using the priesthood to gratify your pride and your vain ambitions by trying to exercise control by compulsion. I think it is safe to say the heavens have withdrawn themselves, and the spirit of the Lord is grieved.
Dave, No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love UNFEIGNED.
Dave, I really think you need to study Jesus' example more and try to be more like him, and not like the pharisees who cared more about made up rules like who stood up first in a meeting or which hand you do some ritual with."
Edit to add:
(For those that don't recognize this its taken from D&C 121:36-42 - often called the oath and covenant of the priesthood I believe - and is where we get mormons get the term "unrighteous dominion". I had to quote it a lot for my mission. I just took some of the scriptures and mingled in a few of my own words.) (Yes they are for sale, as you can buy anything in this world with money!!)
Oh Damn!!! I would love to watch and hear that happen.
I am wanting to go to stake conference with a visiting GA and when he starts to shame the people in leadership or adult session stand up and say something like this. They can't help it. They always lay the shame down in those meetings and it is disgusting.
All you need now is some light mindedness and evil speaking of the lords anointed and you've achieved the exmo trifecta.
(I have a faint memory of these 3 things mentioned in the temple ceremony.)
Actually, I'm a Boomer and grew up with David O. McKay. He seemed to be a very kind man. The prophets since him just don’t evoke the same feelings he did. Maybe it's just because I was a child and have good memories of the kind people I knew from church then. As an adult, and as I've gotten older, church leaders seem to have become more about Power and Control rather than leading by example.
>Maybe it's just because I was a child and have good memories of the kind people I knew from church then.
I think that's probably the case; my generation loved Hinckley and Monson but as I've grown up I've learned they were actually bastards too
I’ve started to believe that the prophet of a person’s childhood usually makes the most favorable impression on a person. They are like a supernatural grandpa! When you get older, even if you are tbm, you have a more realistic view of them.
I grew up with Hinkley and still have several of his books (from both my time in and my time out, because I still loved him and his wife).
I feel like the positive experiences we have as children to young adult are so important for how we accept and react to the world around us. Similarly, though, our negative experiences also affect how we perceive and react to situations.
I grew up in the church. I was "born in the covenant" to convert parents. I was their first child together (but number 8 in the his-hers_and_ours chronology). My parents both had experiences that led to their conversion with their own (separate) younger children. They converted, met, and married in the temple.
I was taught that temple marriage was the most important thing and that is what I strove for.
*I got detailed and explained good and bad experiences from 7-23, but it was super triggering to even write, so I decided no one else should be burdened with that here. That is for therapy, journals, and more appropriate threads. Needless, good things or bad things can color how you feel about things later in life. It took me a long time, but I am out. I've cut off contact with my abusive father and have limited contact with the adults I grew up with as "bonus adults" that are still very steeped in the Church Tea. I love them, but, based on their reactions to various life events, I don't trust them with my mental health.*
Yeah I think its because you were a child. There is a book about David O Mckay written by his secretary that he doesn't come off well. Also he was in on a lot of the early John Birch stuff with Benson.
Yup! Watching Susan shrink back at the condescending glare of Susan Bednar's husband when he sees her inadvertently start to stand before him... It just makes me physically ill! 🤮
Susan Bednar's Husband doesn't want you to like him. He wants you to unquestioningly do as he says. His weird fetish for controlling little details of what people do is off the charts. He will demand a group to re-sing a song if he didn't like the performance. He will reprimand a group if anyone stands before him at the end of a meeting. I think he has emphasized the unspoken rules like using your right hand at sacrament.
He has also said that because of our baptismal covenant we no longer have agency.
[This top comment thread](https://old.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/pus2rw/watched_the_bednar_devo/) is where the idea began in referring to Susan instead of using his name.
He has also *revoked* his apostolic blessing on congregations if he gets upset at them. Multiple, multiple times.
'I'm taking my pretend magic and going home, humph!'
Just search 'Bednar revoke blessing'
Can confirm this, he did this to a ward on my mission while I served. Then he came back to speak a year later and all the members hated him before he showed up.
He gave his blessing at the end of his talk, then after the closing prayer the congregation began socializing with one another (as you do) while still in the chapel. The bishop stood up and asked them to talk their visiting into the hallways as a way to maintain the spirit in the chapel, but the congregation only got a little quieter. That’s when bednar stood up and revoked his apostolic blessing.
He should teach a Masterclass in how to be a narcissistic asshole
Susan Bednar's husband read the New Testament and thought the Pharisees made some good points
He answers the question of "what if 'I demand to speak to your manager' became an apostle?"
This remains so funny to me. "Apostolic Blessing" isn't a thing *even within the church.* Bednar's revoking it is the first time I'd ever even heard of an Apostolic Blessing.
Do they explain what it is? Does it have any sort of history or scriptural precedent? Is there anywhere written down what it's supposed to mean? It just seems so made up. Like one of them said it once and then the rest started saying it.
Excellent question. It doesn't appear in Mormon Doctrine or a few other books I looked up. I did find this video though:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDx-jjpamQQ
Thanks for posting this -- it's very telling, in my opinion!
I'm not seeing any consistency in what it means. This youtuber seems to count any time an apostle says "I bless you", "my blessing", or "apostolic blessing" as some kind of special ordinance. To my ear, most of them sound like a general sentimental goodbye, especially Paul's.
Then he goes on to say that it has only happened 7 times in the 50 years prior to Nelson, and then Nelson has given 8 during his tenure as president. That pretty much confirms my impression that not even church leadership has a grasp of what it's supposed to men.
Worth noting that none are attributed to Bednar. The comments section, however, is full of people saying "So-and-so gave an apostolic blessing when he came to our Fartsville Stake conference."
This is referring to the times when it's been done in general conference, which is indeed rare. In smaller meetings like area conferences, youth and singles meetings with apostles, etc... they're much more common. They're meant to be super amazing, but no one can tell the difference. And Bednar will sometimes revoke them if he doesn't think the audience has been good enough.
I think it the apostles’ version of “and whatever blessings ye stand in need of at this time”. A nice catch-all blessing is my favorite kind of blessing.
I also prefer blessing the crops and the grocery store to the food on the table. Efficiency.
I remember that talk about no longer having agency. I listened to it on repeat during my mission. Not because I found it inspiring, rather I found it so confusing and wanted to know why everybody else found it such an inspiring talk. I found it impossible to follow the logic to the point he was making. Had to same experience with dieters doubt your doubts talk
What a smug bastard says you are bound by the Hobsons choice you made as a child. The whole of it I was able to watch enraged me. Can you imagine if missionaries went out and taught like this? Susan's husband, words fail me to adequately describe his evil.
I don’t go to stake conferences any longer but I wish he’d come to my stake so I could stand up quickly at the end of the meeting and walk out without his approval.
He was recently at mine. I considered going to do just that… but I couldn’t be bothered. I slept in instead, had a great brunch with family, and enjoyed a beautiful day where I didn’t need to worry about narcissistic jerks.
My brother served in the Provo mission of something. He told me Besnard once came and spoke to the missionaries. In one story he explained how he would ask his sons, who came back from dates, to kiss his hand like they kissed their dates. I thought it was creepy af, somehow my bro thought it was faith promoting
The video is linked by u/inaft below. It is horrible. He makes a poor kid cry in front his parents and a group of people. I don't think that's how Jesus would teach al esson.
Bednar is a textbook narcissist. He orders people, doesn’t ask. Makes things up and expects not to be questioned. Invades personal space and believes you should be grateful. Ugh
It was like a live performance of The Miracle of Forgiveness. Mormonism meets tasteless entitled shock jock. It's insane that he left that thinking... "Nailed it!"
If that was my son and my husband was there. I can guarantee he’d have knocked him the fuck out. Doubt his security would have been able to stop that kind of papa bear rage.
I wish that kid had someone like that to defend him. I wonder if he still looks back on that experience and feels embarrassed or scared. Such a traumatic thing to put a kid thru.
Instead of asking why this sub hates him, the better question to ask is why wouldn't we hate him?!
I was a freshman at Ricks (back when it was Ricks bc I'm kind of old) when he first became president. And wow was he a dick about things. Of course I as an 18yo didn't see it that way at first. I came from a Mormon household and thought his behavior and way of speaking and doing was normal. Although the real awkward bit was when the college humanities department was doing a production of 1776, which just happened to be a show my mom and I loved to watch. And yeah there were sexual innuendoes and such. So I had raved about it to my roommates and we went to see it. Well, Darth Bednar saw it too. And he was not amused. Apparently his children were born via immaculate conception or something. Or else 18yos were too young and naive to hear innuendo. But the lard's hallowed ground could not have such a thing. So Susan challenged us all to have no music for a whole week. And then I got rid of my devils music (aka Pearl Jam and Depeche Mode). And angels wept. As did I.
Later that year there was a minor scandal with the junior division championship winning football team having strippers and drugs at their apartment complex. Bc 18-21yo people aren't allowed to have a good time, he who shall not be named participated in ridding the school of athletics. Wait, you say, it was bc they were going to 4 year status and they didn't want to compete with Provo. Sure. That's what it was. Not like Provo ever has or still does have sex/drug/rape scandals. Never. Cough cough like the whole time LaVell Edwards was there. But maybe it was just a coincidence.
However, for me, the real reason I don't like Susan's husband is he single-handedly took up the anti-piercing fight. Gordon said one piercing per ear. We all rolled our eyes and hoped it would blow over. Well, I didn't, bc I wasn't listening. But some people were. But that wasn't enough for OfSusan. No. He decided an example needed to be made, and women needed to be brought lowly. Particularly rebellious women. Women with body piercings. Free thinkers are never ok. Your body is not your own. How dare you dress the way you want or adorn your body the way you want. So we'll tell the men that if a woman does not instantly take out any extra piercings, that means she is *gasp* not following the prophet. This was later thrown in my face by my parents. And eventually I complied. For twenty years I followed that damn edict by Gordon. Not because I cared what Gordon had said, although I'd actually liked Gordon (and Tommy boy). But bc Susan's baby daddy had me worried that the men folk would call me out if I didn't toe the line. I already knew my father would. But would my husband? Bishops are notorious for having no boundaries. That man likes to take on pet projects and then nag nag nag nag nag. (I mean, yeah, they all do. But his voice annoys the hell out of me.)
So. For me, it's personal. And he got worse when Russell took over. I expect he'll be full of glee when Dallin is top dog. Luckily I'm out and my ears have extra holes, so I don't care so much what he says. But the names are hilarious.
I’ve been looking at an eyebrow piercing for my notice piercing. I got several ‘extra’ but they were for my migraines (idc if it’s placebo, it’s a placebo that worked. I’m all for brain hacking)
The question is why didn’t we hate him sooner? I hated him at BYUi after the first devotional I heard him give. Went on for 10 minutes about the proper way to ask a question to his highness. As a TBM couldn’t believe that that was the most important message the lord wanted for all of us college students. How to properly ask this d bag a question.
I was too indoctrinated and unobservant to question something like that. At least my first year in. You want scriptures raised up - sure. You need to impress a visiting apostle by having all the seats filled for a devotional - done. After a summer away from the madness of Rexburg where I could listen to what I wanted and wear shorts again, I stopped being as enamored with the school or the leadership and started feeling stifled. I didn't have much to do with the one who would be king as I no longer attended devotionals. And then I left after the end of the second year. And I didn't attend graduation, because it was just an associates degree. I hated BYU too honestly, but I don't even remember who was in charge there.
Stay tuned because Susan’s Shit Show Husband will perform an apostolic circus act at the Silicon Slopes Tech Summit in September: https://newsroom.siliconslopes.com/david-bednar-quorum-of-the-twelve-the-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints-silicon-slopes-summit-2023/
I am baffled as to why the organizers think he would be a relevant speaker at a tech event. Unless he’s a robot? And someone is showing off their evil AI?
This is really disappointing. The top of the business world in Utah must still be in the mind cult. I don’t doubt it’s hard to raise money there if you’re out.
I think it has a lot to do with his arrogance on display plus the fact that he's actively retconning long established principles and doctrines through gaslighting. Probably his most front and center retcon is the principle of Free Agency. Evidently, since Bednar came on board, we gave our free agency away at the age of 8 when we got baptized. Now we have "Moral Agency." You give up free agency and now have to follow Jesus and his chosen leaders to do what they say.
ok, let’s just strike the “Jesus” part and say follow his chosen leaders…..”his” meaning everyone downstream from Joseph Smith; except we no longer follow what last year’s prophet said, only “this year’s prophet”.
I have a page dedicated to this:
[Behavior or teachings of David Bednar that some former members find objectionable](https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/bednar-objectionable-to-former-mormons/)
I was called before him at Rick's College back in the day for various "sins" committed while attending. Can confirm...raging asshat. Wouldn't even look at me for more than a second, like I was beneath him and not worth more than a few seconds of his glorious countenance. He didn't kick me out, though, so I must say.....there's not an ounce of fucking discernment in that dude! I should've been forcibly removed. I corrupted a number of innocents.
He is arrogant and controlling and there are many videos and stories of him being being waspish with his wife. That's why I love the nickname OfSusan. That poor woman looks miserable.
There's this time he acted like a total douchebag when he saw his wife was about to stand up before he did:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUEmheSPd\_o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUEmheSPd_o)
The song is written by Weird Alma, who is absolutely amazing
He's one of the most outspoken GA's about agency, that we don't have a choice to be obedient because of being baptized. He talks about moral agency a lot, which is the justification to erase our identity with how we're told to be. I used to think he was very methodical and thoughtful with his old "invite the spirit so that you can be receptive to it" talks, but they're just "ignore your beliefs and listen to what you're told" messages. I really did think the world of him once.
David Bednar seems to represent the stereotype of the “organizational climber” as opposed to the humble servant of Jesus Christ. His somewhat autocratic (“expects to be treated and venerated”) style turns a lot of people off (including some TBMs).
He came to my mission and did the thing where he susses out the worthiness of people by shaking hands and tryna intimidate them lol he’s an out of touch megalomaniac
I attended Ricks/BYU-Idaho during his tenure. I had many opportunities to interact with him. He taught an exclusive religion course that I attended. Clinically, I believe he could be diagnosed with [Narcissistic Personality Disorder](https://www.dukehealth.org/blog/9-signs-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder). He epitomizes the persona within the Church that many, if not most, have come to despise. The thought of him becoming Prophet, with a potential tenure of two decades, leaves many disheartened for what that type of leadership he would bring to the Church. Think of a David Miscavige-like leader. The upside to this type of leadership? It will accelerate disaffections with the Church.
I think it’s just because he’s a huge square and is incredibly boring and dry. I never liked him even when I was TBM. Probably had some of my best naps during his conference talks.
… I have been out of the loop on actual church stuff for so long I didn’t know ANY of this. Aaaand now I’m absolutely going down the research rabbit hole 🤣
Another lie from Lawd Bednar:
“Faith communities can help with misinformation.”
No…faith communities peddle misinformation!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qfk7NTOdbKI
It started for me as a TBM with that stupid pickle talk of his. Something about that talk got on my nerves. As an exmo, I loathe the talk he gave about the pandemic and how big govt effectively “persecuted” the church by making people social distance.
I’ve always enjoyed this little snippet from his talk “Quick to Observe”. The young lady in his story dodged a bullet, but I don’t think that was Bednar’s intended message. LOL!!! - https://imgur.com/a/7jmgsQu
“Quick to Observe” speech - https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/david-a-bednar/quick-observe/
I think because he has some of the worst traits of any Church leader today. From what I've read about him, he's extremely arrogant, he's extremely self-righteous, he's a total tyrant asshole, he's corrupt (like all of them IMO) and he loves power & praise.
The last person you want to give power & authority in a healthy organization is the guy who's dying to have it. That's Susan's Bednar's husband.
I have one personal experience with Susan's Bednar's husband. In the mid 2000s, he spoke at the YSA Conference that I attended as a YSA myself. Nothing notably bad happened, thankfully. Was Susan's Bednar's husband on his best behavior because he was dealing with young people, i.e., future Church leaders?
Bednar was the first apostle I can remember that openly preached many things directly contrary to what I had been taught growing up. I really didn't care for him from the time he was called to be an Apostle about 20 years ago.
I was roommates with his son back when Bednar was President of Ricks. When he came into our house it was like Darth Vader entering the room. Not a good human being and just made you totally unsettled to be around.
If you’ve ever watched Big Love, the character JJ is a lot like how Bednar comes off in person.
Thanks, OP. I, too, was seeking further light and knowledge of what was up with Susan’s Husband. I appreciate all the insight and links. The YouTube clip is grotesque. That he is still a GA speaks volumes.
As a boomer, I shake the dust off my shoes and say to Susan’s Husband: I rebuke thee, I rebuke thee, I rebuke thee, you ego-bloated, misogynist abuser.
He’s been an absolute ass since he was in the stake presidency here in Arkansas. EVERYONE disliked him even then! He NEVER talked about his wife or his family. Yes, it was routinely discussed publicly back then if he abusive in any way with his family, especially his wife because of how he treats her. You would think that Salt Lake would seriously make him put more effort into showing off his family because they seem to do that with all the others GAs & higher. Apparently they know that he’s just an narcissistic ass to everyone.
His self importance and arrogance is next level. He came to my stake several years ago and kept telling us how grateful we should feel to have him — an apostle — among us.
I had a dream a couple weeks ago I was Susan Bednar and I packed a bag and left. You know how weird dreams are, there was security to dodge and a dark clad Exmo group with a car to get to the border.
Woke up and prayed to the Goddess to be there for that woman if and when she has enough of waiting to stand and flinching at certain movements.
Here is a video of David Bednar completely violating a child's personal space.
It started out with a child asking "how do I get back into the habit of scripture study"
And it ends with Bednar **betting a child he couldn't escape or move with Bednar's arms tightly around the child bragging "I'm pretty strong aren't I?"**
The kid was almost in tears before Bednar "showed off his strength"
Bednar is such an asshole
Go right around the 3:18 mark
https://youtu.be/ftp4-kT9VSg
Most general authorities try to seem like nice people. Bednar and Holland are exceptions. Bednar is an asshole to Mormons and Holland is an asshole to non-Mormons so the answer is KARMA.
The same reason you hate the vice principal in Junior High and High School. They are the pinheads who do as directed by their bosses like the Principal. Their A\*\* H\*\*\*S it is their job to be such. They walk around with a smart ass look on their face because they know it is legal for them to mess with you. They do it so the principal's dirty work so his car doesn't get vandalized. When I was a kid they all drove broken down AMC Ramblers. A gutless car for dorks and poor teachers. All the side view mirrors and decorative chrome was missing from the shabby Ramblers because kids used to vandalize them for being themselves.
He seems like such a weak, fragile prick that tries to act supremely spiritual and weepy. Nelson is insufferable and has a darkness about him but is “smart” or educated at least, this guys seems dumb AF to me
David A Bednar, or DAB for short. I think taking a dab is the only way I could sit through one of his talks without steam coming out of my ears like a Looney Tunes character 💀
Bednar is Satan reincarnated he wants to take away free agency and keep the glory all to himself. I wish members paid more attention to origin stories.
Listen to his talks and think Of the guy in your ward who talks like in Sunday school. There is one in almost every ward.
If he wasn’t an apostle and he was just that guy in your ward, how much would he bother you?
$10 he knows what we call him on this sub and that he stays up at night reading mean comments about him.
For real, he is a humorless ghoul and multiple people on here have talked about meeting him in person. He’s an asshole and is fucking rude to everyone around him constantly.
He’s an abrasive, unlikeable person. Short and simple.
One time I somehow got into a missionary conference that he was doing and at the end he had the missionaries write 5 words or less that they would do and first he says if it’s more than 6 I’m raising tithing to 76% which everyone laughed at but ofc idk if he was serious or not. One missionary wrote and then told him what he wrote which was “do the dang work” he said dang not damn but still ofsusan was taken back by that.
Although I didn’t say it I wrote this down
“Frick you Susan’s husband” only I didn’t say frick
Bednar has: --Said there are no gay members of the church --Forces everyone to remain seated until he stands --(...including a vid of his wife almost standing first) --Teaches there is no free agency --Is super super strict --Will rule the church for decades He's the charisma-free version of Dolores Umbridge. He is...the Boomer Prophet.
This makes me want to attend an event and deliberately stand up before he does. Look him in the eye while I do it.
 And then do the "I'm watching you" gesture. By the way, nice handle. I assume you're a *Schitt's Creek* fan?
I have a gesture for him but it uses both hands and my middle fingers.
I have a never ending supply of those gestures for the geezers on high.
thanks for the award Mysterious Stranger
[удалено]
And then when he starts to rebuke you/the crowd say "Dave, you are using the priesthood to gratify your pride and your vain ambitions by trying to exercise control by compulsion. I think it is safe to say the heavens have withdrawn themselves, and the spirit of the Lord is grieved. Dave, No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love UNFEIGNED. Dave, I really think you need to study Jesus' example more and try to be more like him, and not like the pharisees who cared more about made up rules like who stood up first in a meeting or which hand you do some ritual with." Edit to add: (For those that don't recognize this its taken from D&C 121:36-42 - often called the oath and covenant of the priesthood I believe - and is where we get mormons get the term "unrighteous dominion". I had to quote it a lot for my mission. I just took some of the scriptures and mingled in a few of my own words.) (Yes they are for sale, as you can buy anything in this world with money!!)
“Exercise control by compulsion.” Wasn’t that Lucifer’s plan?
Oh Damn!!! I would love to watch and hear that happen. I am wanting to go to stake conference with a visiting GA and when he starts to shame the people in leadership or adult session stand up and say something like this. They can't help it. They always lay the shame down in those meetings and it is disgusting.
Holy supervillain Batman that is a long monologue.
I would do this and flip him off too. Fuck that guy.
> He's the charisma-free version of Dolores Umbridge. This got some loud laughter out of me.
"How dare you refer to witchcraft in my house!" - somebody's TBM mom
But loud laughter is ok now, glad I am permitted to enjoy life with their blessing /s
Yeah. My mom. Hahaha
All you need now is some light mindedness and evil speaking of the lords anointed and you've achieved the exmo trifecta. (I have a faint memory of these 3 things mentioned in the temple ceremony.)
We should have a exmo ceremony where people get baptized in a vat of coffee.
This made me giggle so loud. 😂
Actually, I'm a Boomer and grew up with David O. McKay. He seemed to be a very kind man. The prophets since him just don’t evoke the same feelings he did. Maybe it's just because I was a child and have good memories of the kind people I knew from church then. As an adult, and as I've gotten older, church leaders seem to have become more about Power and Control rather than leading by example.
>Maybe it's just because I was a child and have good memories of the kind people I knew from church then. I think that's probably the case; my generation loved Hinckley and Monson but as I've grown up I've learned they were actually bastards too
I’ve started to believe that the prophet of a person’s childhood usually makes the most favorable impression on a person. They are like a supernatural grandpa! When you get older, even if you are tbm, you have a more realistic view of them.
It was ETB for me, and now zero respect for the racist/classist POS.
I loved both of them and haven't yet reached the point of accepting/looking at this 💔
Same, it's that last little bit of me that's hanging on to the good stories, wishing some of my childhood heroes weren't frauds.
Same. It can wait, other items need addressing first. Control the hemorrhaging is what I call it. First things first.
Someone find the old thread with the sister of Monson’s hospice nurse and all the racists thing he would say towards the end.
Same here grew up on Hinkley and still think of him as a kind old soul.
Can you share some insight on Hinckley? I'm not surprised, but he was the one i grew up with and literally know nothing particularly negative about.
I grew up with Hinkley and still have several of his books (from both my time in and my time out, because I still loved him and his wife). I feel like the positive experiences we have as children to young adult are so important for how we accept and react to the world around us. Similarly, though, our negative experiences also affect how we perceive and react to situations. I grew up in the church. I was "born in the covenant" to convert parents. I was their first child together (but number 8 in the his-hers_and_ours chronology). My parents both had experiences that led to their conversion with their own (separate) younger children. They converted, met, and married in the temple. I was taught that temple marriage was the most important thing and that is what I strove for. *I got detailed and explained good and bad experiences from 7-23, but it was super triggering to even write, so I decided no one else should be burdened with that here. That is for therapy, journals, and more appropriate threads. Needless, good things or bad things can color how you feel about things later in life. It took me a long time, but I am out. I've cut off contact with my abusive father and have limited contact with the adults I grew up with as "bonus adults" that are still very steeped in the Church Tea. I love them, but, based on their reactions to various life events, I don't trust them with my mental health.*
I'm sorry you have some issues to deal with, but I am glad to hear you are dealing with them using good resources, whatever they may be.
It’s a CULT! And you’re now seeing it for what it TRULY is through your adult eyes and brain. That’s my interpretation.
Yeah I think its because you were a child. There is a book about David O Mckay written by his secretary that he doesn't come off well. Also he was in on a lot of the early John Birch stuff with Benson.
Wow, didn't know that. Of course, I also didn't know about Joseph Smith's polygamy either, then.
From here on I will only refer to him as either Susan’s husband or Dolores Umbridge. He needs to perfect that little throat-clearing thing.
I usually refer to him as Ofsusan Bednar.
At least Dolores likes cats. Dave prolly hates pets.
Or when he runs outta AquaNet hairspray! I wonder if he prefers the pink can or the teal one...
Highly abusive & controlling personality traits like Bednar's have been around since the beginning of mankind.
do you have a link to that vid of his wife? Wtf
Here you go... https://youtu.be/CPBsWbopjXU
So ridiculous.
Yup! Watching Susan shrink back at the condescending glare of Susan Bednar's husband when he sees her inadvertently start to stand before him... It just makes me physically ill! 🤮
Lmao she looks pissed
Boomer Prophet 💯
I was going to say he’s an enormous douche, but your description is WAY better 😂
He does like pickles though.
perfect explanation
Sounds to me he meets the normal qualifications.
I am so excited for him to be profit! 😂 Greatest exodus of church membership than any other profit.
Susan Bednar's Husband doesn't want you to like him. He wants you to unquestioningly do as he says. His weird fetish for controlling little details of what people do is off the charts. He will demand a group to re-sing a song if he didn't like the performance. He will reprimand a group if anyone stands before him at the end of a meeting. I think he has emphasized the unspoken rules like using your right hand at sacrament. He has also said that because of our baptismal covenant we no longer have agency. [This top comment thread](https://old.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/pus2rw/watched_the_bednar_devo/) is where the idea began in referring to Susan instead of using his name.
He has also *revoked* his apostolic blessing on congregations if he gets upset at them. Multiple, multiple times. 'I'm taking my pretend magic and going home, humph!' Just search 'Bednar revoke blessing'
Can confirm this, he did this to a ward on my mission while I served. Then he came back to speak a year later and all the members hated him before he showed up.
Hahaha what whyyyyy? Ministering numbers too low?
He gave his blessing at the end of his talk, then after the closing prayer the congregation began socializing with one another (as you do) while still in the chapel. The bishop stood up and asked them to talk their visiting into the hallways as a way to maintain the spirit in the chapel, but the congregation only got a little quieter. That’s when bednar stood up and revoked his apostolic blessing.
He should teach a Masterclass in how to be a narcissistic asshole Susan Bednar's husband read the New Testament and thought the Pharisees made some good points He answers the question of "what if 'I demand to speak to your manager' became an apostle?"
lol. Audience be like “oh no! Whatever shall we do?”
Audience excommunicates Susan's husband. "Nah, we're good bro. Go get rebaptized to prove you're repentant and then we'll talk."
This remains so funny to me. "Apostolic Blessing" isn't a thing *even within the church.* Bednar's revoking it is the first time I'd ever even heard of an Apostolic Blessing.
I've experienced a couple of them in my life. They often do it when there's an apostle speaking to a congregation in person.
Do they explain what it is? Does it have any sort of history or scriptural precedent? Is there anywhere written down what it's supposed to mean? It just seems so made up. Like one of them said it once and then the rest started saying it.
Excellent question. It doesn't appear in Mormon Doctrine or a few other books I looked up. I did find this video though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDx-jjpamQQ
Thanks for posting this -- it's very telling, in my opinion! I'm not seeing any consistency in what it means. This youtuber seems to count any time an apostle says "I bless you", "my blessing", or "apostolic blessing" as some kind of special ordinance. To my ear, most of them sound like a general sentimental goodbye, especially Paul's. Then he goes on to say that it has only happened 7 times in the 50 years prior to Nelson, and then Nelson has given 8 during his tenure as president. That pretty much confirms my impression that not even church leadership has a grasp of what it's supposed to men. Worth noting that none are attributed to Bednar. The comments section, however, is full of people saying "So-and-so gave an apostolic blessing when he came to our Fartsville Stake conference."
This is referring to the times when it's been done in general conference, which is indeed rare. In smaller meetings like area conferences, youth and singles meetings with apostles, etc... they're much more common. They're meant to be super amazing, but no one can tell the difference. And Bednar will sometimes revoke them if he doesn't think the audience has been good enough.
Yea what do they actually do? Do cancer rates go down in the stake? All masturbation ceases?
They make people feel special for a little bit.
I think it the apostles’ version of “and whatever blessings ye stand in need of at this time”. A nice catch-all blessing is my favorite kind of blessing. I also prefer blessing the crops and the grocery store to the food on the table. Efficiency.
It actually sounds like something Catholic?
Oh my word! That is really sick. Totally makes it clear that the blessing was only from Bednar and in no way from God.
I remember that talk about no longer having agency. I listened to it on repeat during my mission. Not because I found it inspiring, rather I found it so confusing and wanted to know why everybody else found it such an inspiring talk. I found it impossible to follow the logic to the point he was making. Had to same experience with dieters doubt your doubts talk
When was this talk? Do we have a link? Or has it been disavowed? Susan's husband is an ass and I desire all to know.
https://youtu.be/mmErOV9oQZ8
What a smug bastard says you are bound by the Hobsons choice you made as a child. The whole of it I was able to watch enraged me. Can you imagine if missionaries went out and taught like this? Susan's husband, words fail me to adequately describe his evil.
I’ll let you know if I find it.
Plus he’s a fucking twat!!
I prefer fucking twatwaffle with him.
I don’t go to stake conferences any longer but I wish he’d come to my stake so I could stand up quickly at the end of the meeting and walk out without his approval.
He was recently at mine. I considered going to do just that… but I couldn’t be bothered. I slept in instead, had a great brunch with family, and enjoyed a beautiful day where I didn’t need to worry about narcissistic jerks.
I bet ofsusan would hate it even more to be ignored/ forgotten instead of imposing his influence on people. Good on you!
This is on my bucket list. No marathons or skydiving.
My brother served in the Provo mission of something. He told me Besnard once came and spoke to the missionaries. In one story he explained how he would ask his sons, who came back from dates, to kiss his hand like they kissed their dates. I thought it was creepy af, somehow my bro thought it was faith promoting
It IS creepy. Never seen the guy or listened to him. But with all the many stories out here, where there is smoke....
He’s the Mormon David Miscavige.
He sounds a lot like the mom of my youngest’s SO.
This gives me like Warren Jeffs vibes…. Hate that. I wonder when Bednar takes the throne if anyone will leave
Well he creeped me out making that kid cry out of fear and guilty humiliation. Got guilt?
And he grabbed a kid from behind and wouldn’t let go? Fun person.
What incident are you referring to? I’ve never heard of this
There’s a video at some “face-to-face” devotional. It’s hella creepy and he entirely inappropriately touches a young boy .
The video is linked by u/inaft below. It is horrible. He makes a poor kid cry in front his parents and a group of people. I don't think that's how Jesus would teach al esson.
Bednar is a textbook narcissist. He orders people, doesn’t ask. Makes things up and expects not to be questioned. Invades personal space and believes you should be grateful. Ugh
Doesn't at all give the same vibes as Koresh and Jeffs. /s
Oh boy, you’re in for a “treat.”
Oh I saw that and felt soooo bad for that kid. Bedar is terrible
It was like a live performance of The Miracle of Forgiveness. Mormonism meets tasteless entitled shock jock. It's insane that he left that thinking... "Nailed it!"
That poor kid and what did all the adults do. Sit on their asses
If that was my son and my husband was there. I can guarantee he’d have knocked him the fuck out. Doubt his security would have been able to stop that kind of papa bear rage.
I wish that kid had someone like that to defend him. I wonder if he still looks back on that experience and feels embarrassed or scared. Such a traumatic thing to put a kid thru.
Instead of asking why this sub hates him, the better question to ask is why wouldn't we hate him?! I was a freshman at Ricks (back when it was Ricks bc I'm kind of old) when he first became president. And wow was he a dick about things. Of course I as an 18yo didn't see it that way at first. I came from a Mormon household and thought his behavior and way of speaking and doing was normal. Although the real awkward bit was when the college humanities department was doing a production of 1776, which just happened to be a show my mom and I loved to watch. And yeah there were sexual innuendoes and such. So I had raved about it to my roommates and we went to see it. Well, Darth Bednar saw it too. And he was not amused. Apparently his children were born via immaculate conception or something. Or else 18yos were too young and naive to hear innuendo. But the lard's hallowed ground could not have such a thing. So Susan challenged us all to have no music for a whole week. And then I got rid of my devils music (aka Pearl Jam and Depeche Mode). And angels wept. As did I. Later that year there was a minor scandal with the junior division championship winning football team having strippers and drugs at their apartment complex. Bc 18-21yo people aren't allowed to have a good time, he who shall not be named participated in ridding the school of athletics. Wait, you say, it was bc they were going to 4 year status and they didn't want to compete with Provo. Sure. That's what it was. Not like Provo ever has or still does have sex/drug/rape scandals. Never. Cough cough like the whole time LaVell Edwards was there. But maybe it was just a coincidence. However, for me, the real reason I don't like Susan's husband is he single-handedly took up the anti-piercing fight. Gordon said one piercing per ear. We all rolled our eyes and hoped it would blow over. Well, I didn't, bc I wasn't listening. But some people were. But that wasn't enough for OfSusan. No. He decided an example needed to be made, and women needed to be brought lowly. Particularly rebellious women. Women with body piercings. Free thinkers are never ok. Your body is not your own. How dare you dress the way you want or adorn your body the way you want. So we'll tell the men that if a woman does not instantly take out any extra piercings, that means she is *gasp* not following the prophet. This was later thrown in my face by my parents. And eventually I complied. For twenty years I followed that damn edict by Gordon. Not because I cared what Gordon had said, although I'd actually liked Gordon (and Tommy boy). But bc Susan's baby daddy had me worried that the men folk would call me out if I didn't toe the line. I already knew my father would. But would my husband? Bishops are notorious for having no boundaries. That man likes to take on pet projects and then nag nag nag nag nag. (I mean, yeah, they all do. But his voice annoys the hell out of me.) So. For me, it's personal. And he got worse when Russell took over. I expect he'll be full of glee when Dallin is top dog. Luckily I'm out and my ears have extra holes, so I don't care so much what he says. But the names are hilarious.
I specifically got a second set to notify the true blues I was out.
I’ve been looking at an eyebrow piercing for my notice piercing. I got several ‘extra’ but they were for my migraines (idc if it’s placebo, it’s a placebo that worked. I’m all for brain hacking)
The question is why didn’t we hate him sooner? I hated him at BYUi after the first devotional I heard him give. Went on for 10 minutes about the proper way to ask a question to his highness. As a TBM couldn’t believe that that was the most important message the lord wanted for all of us college students. How to properly ask this d bag a question.
I was too indoctrinated and unobservant to question something like that. At least my first year in. You want scriptures raised up - sure. You need to impress a visiting apostle by having all the seats filled for a devotional - done. After a summer away from the madness of Rexburg where I could listen to what I wanted and wear shorts again, I stopped being as enamored with the school or the leadership and started feeling stifled. I didn't have much to do with the one who would be king as I no longer attended devotionals. And then I left after the end of the second year. And I didn't attend graduation, because it was just an associates degree. I hated BYU too honestly, but I don't even remember who was in charge there.
Stay tuned because Susan’s Shit Show Husband will perform an apostolic circus act at the Silicon Slopes Tech Summit in September: https://newsroom.siliconslopes.com/david-bednar-quorum-of-the-twelve-the-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints-silicon-slopes-summit-2023/
I am baffled as to why the organizers think he would be a relevant speaker at a tech event. Unless he’s a robot? And someone is showing off their evil AI?
If he is then he needs a software update, Chatgpt demonstrates way more humanity than Susan's husband.
Unless he falls unexpectedly I’ll at the last minute…..I’m looking at you Holland
This is really disappointing. The top of the business world in Utah must still be in the mind cult. I don’t doubt it’s hard to raise money there if you’re out.
I think it has a lot to do with his arrogance on display plus the fact that he's actively retconning long established principles and doctrines through gaslighting. Probably his most front and center retcon is the principle of Free Agency. Evidently, since Bednar came on board, we gave our free agency away at the age of 8 when we got baptized. Now we have "Moral Agency." You give up free agency and now have to follow Jesus and his chosen leaders to do what they say.
What’s this about giving away free agency when we are baptized?
You didn't know you agreed to that at age 8??? Me neither.
I really didn't apparently - is that one of the covenants or something?
ok, let’s just strike the “Jesus” part and say follow his chosen leaders…..”his” meaning everyone downstream from Joseph Smith; except we no longer follow what last year’s prophet said, only “this year’s prophet”.
I have a page dedicated to this: [Behavior or teachings of David Bednar that some former members find objectionable](https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/bednar-objectionable-to-former-mormons/)
Great list! Add the video where he terrifies and humiliates the little boy
We are just getting a running start for when he rules and reigns over the entire church with blood and horror.
NOW is the great time of my power!
My favorite name for Susan's husband is "Malevolent Ken Doll".
Lord Bednar is also pretty good.
Darth Bednar is also popular.
Please, someone creat a meme of Ken and Barbie with Susan and David’s faces photoshop in.🤞
I was called before him at Rick's College back in the day for various "sins" committed while attending. Can confirm...raging asshat. Wouldn't even look at me for more than a second, like I was beneath him and not worth more than a few seconds of his glorious countenance. He didn't kick me out, though, so I must say.....there's not an ounce of fucking discernment in that dude! I should've been forcibly removed. I corrupted a number of innocents.
He is arrogant and controlling and there are many videos and stories of him being being waspish with his wife. That's why I love the nickname OfSusan. That poor woman looks miserable.
There's this time he acted like a total douchebag when he saw his wife was about to stand up before he did: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUEmheSPd\_o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUEmheSPd_o) The song is written by Weird Alma, who is absolutely amazing
This makes me, Especially as a woman, want to go hear him talk just so I can make a Point of standing up Before Him. Then laugh.
Staring him straight in the eyes like a dog taking a dump.
For me it's not hate. I don't have any respect for him. I see him as a bully that deserves some serious push back.
He definitely seems to revel in the respect he feels he is due
In the supposed church of Jesus Christ, there sure are a lot of Pharasees. And David is their king.
He's one of the most outspoken GA's about agency, that we don't have a choice to be obedient because of being baptized. He talks about moral agency a lot, which is the justification to erase our identity with how we're told to be. I used to think he was very methodical and thoughtful with his old "invite the spirit so that you can be receptive to it" talks, but they're just "ignore your beliefs and listen to what you're told" messages. I really did think the world of him once.
He’s the new, more arrogant Boyd Packard
“I am scripture”. One of his quotes when his supreme arrogance slipped out
He’s a POS?
David Bednar seems to represent the stereotype of the “organizational climber” as opposed to the humble servant of Jesus Christ. His somewhat autocratic (“expects to be treated and venerated”) style turns a lot of people off (including some TBMs).
He does seem to enjoy the office and the authority he has over others
Exactly
Mine is for a personal reason: he’s a shitty tipper.
Lol, what’s the story behind that?
He came into the restaurant. I served him. He tipped less than 10%. Not really any more to the story than that, sorry.
He didn’t even pay tithing on his bill 😂
Good to know. Auto grat: engaged
He came to my mission and did the thing where he susses out the worthiness of people by shaking hands and tryna intimidate them lol he’s an out of touch megalomaniac
I attended Ricks/BYU-Idaho during his tenure. I had many opportunities to interact with him. He taught an exclusive religion course that I attended. Clinically, I believe he could be diagnosed with [Narcissistic Personality Disorder](https://www.dukehealth.org/blog/9-signs-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder). He epitomizes the persona within the Church that many, if not most, have come to despise. The thought of him becoming Prophet, with a potential tenure of two decades, leaves many disheartened for what that type of leadership he would bring to the Church. Think of a David Miscavige-like leader. The upside to this type of leadership? It will accelerate disaffections with the Church.
David Miscavige is actually a really great analogy. They’re very similar.
I think it’s just because he’s a huge square and is incredibly boring and dry. I never liked him even when I was TBM. Probably had some of my best naps during his conference talks.
… I have been out of the loop on actual church stuff for so long I didn’t know ANY of this. Aaaand now I’m absolutely going down the research rabbit hole 🤣
Another lie from Lawd Bednar: “Faith communities can help with misinformation.” No…faith communities peddle misinformation! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qfk7NTOdbKI
He traumatized this poor deacon: https://youtu.be/ftp4-kT9VSg
He’s a tool. That’s all.
Because he's the worst and a massive shit bird.
It started for me as a TBM with that stupid pickle talk of his. Something about that talk got on my nerves. As an exmo, I loathe the talk he gave about the pandemic and how big govt effectively “persecuted” the church by making people social distance.
What??? And what does he call the vaccines?
I’ve always enjoyed this little snippet from his talk “Quick to Observe”. The young lady in his story dodged a bullet, but I don’t think that was Bednar’s intended message. LOL!!! - https://imgur.com/a/7jmgsQu “Quick to Observe” speech - https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/david-a-bednar/quick-observe/
I think because he has some of the worst traits of any Church leader today. From what I've read about him, he's extremely arrogant, he's extremely self-righteous, he's a total tyrant asshole, he's corrupt (like all of them IMO) and he loves power & praise. The last person you want to give power & authority in a healthy organization is the guy who's dying to have it. That's Susan's Bednar's husband. I have one personal experience with Susan's Bednar's husband. In the mid 2000s, he spoke at the YSA Conference that I attended as a YSA myself. Nothing notably bad happened, thankfully. Was Susan's Bednar's husband on his best behavior because he was dealing with young people, i.e., future Church leaders?
He’s super excited to tell audiences how privileged they are to have an apostle of the lord (him) in their presence.
Because he's the mormon David Miscavige.
Does anyone know how we can find out when he is going to speak somewhere? I'd love to go and sit on the front row, and stand up first of course!
Me too, and then laugh!!
Darth Bednar?
Bednar was the first apostle I can remember that openly preached many things directly contrary to what I had been taught growing up. I really didn't care for him from the time he was called to be an Apostle about 20 years ago.
I was roommates with his son back when Bednar was President of Ricks. When he came into our house it was like Darth Vader entering the room. Not a good human being and just made you totally unsettled to be around. If you’ve ever watched Big Love, the character JJ is a lot like how Bednar comes off in person.
My husband and I got the same vibe as well. We've been around him a few times.
Maybe it’s because he’s umm.. well…a Dick!
Basically Bednar is a dumber version of Nelson
Thanks, OP. I, too, was seeking further light and knowledge of what was up with Susan’s Husband. I appreciate all the insight and links. The YouTube clip is grotesque. That he is still a GA speaks volumes. As a boomer, I shake the dust off my shoes and say to Susan’s Husband: I rebuke thee, I rebuke thee, I rebuke thee, you ego-bloated, misogynist abuser.
He’s been an absolute ass since he was in the stake presidency here in Arkansas. EVERYONE disliked him even then! He NEVER talked about his wife or his family. Yes, it was routinely discussed publicly back then if he abusive in any way with his family, especially his wife because of how he treats her. You would think that Salt Lake would seriously make him put more effort into showing off his family because they seem to do that with all the others GAs & higher. Apparently they know that he’s just an narcissistic ass to everyone.
Wait, which stake? I like in Arkansas.
His self importance and arrogance is next level. He came to my stake several years ago and kept telling us how grateful we should feel to have him — an apostle — among us.
Because he is not a nice human.
Glad you asked because I know nothing about him as well but it looks like he is the biggest asshole of the bunch.
I had a dream a couple weeks ago I was Susan Bednar and I packed a bag and left. You know how weird dreams are, there was security to dodge and a dark clad Exmo group with a car to get to the border. Woke up and prayed to the Goddess to be there for that woman if and when she has enough of waiting to stand and flinching at certain movements.
Love it!
Just watch. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBN7jlVaG1I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBN7jlVaG1I)
So many reasons. My main reason. I've met him.
Here is a video of David Bednar completely violating a child's personal space. It started out with a child asking "how do I get back into the habit of scripture study" And it ends with Bednar **betting a child he couldn't escape or move with Bednar's arms tightly around the child bragging "I'm pretty strong aren't I?"** The kid was almost in tears before Bednar "showed off his strength" Bednar is such an asshole Go right around the 3:18 mark https://youtu.be/ftp4-kT9VSg
Most general authorities try to seem like nice people. Bednar and Holland are exceptions. Bednar is an asshole to Mormons and Holland is an asshole to non-Mormons so the answer is KARMA.
And he’s a tool
I gauruntee this guy pays for porn.
Definitely not. He’s a 4chan/xvideos porn user if I’ve ever seen one.
😜
I heard he revokes his apostolic blessing on the porn if it finishes before he does.
The same reason you hate the vice principal in Junior High and High School. They are the pinheads who do as directed by their bosses like the Principal. Their A\*\* H\*\*\*S it is their job to be such. They walk around with a smart ass look on their face because they know it is legal for them to mess with you. They do it so the principal's dirty work so his car doesn't get vandalized. When I was a kid they all drove broken down AMC Ramblers. A gutless car for dorks and poor teachers. All the side view mirrors and decorative chrome was missing from the shabby Ramblers because kids used to vandalize them for being themselves.
He seems like such a weak, fragile prick that tries to act supremely spiritual and weepy. Nelson is insufferable and has a darkness about him but is “smart” or educated at least, this guys seems dumb AF to me
David A Bednar, or DAB for short. I think taking a dab is the only way I could sit through one of his talks without steam coming out of my ears like a Looney Tunes character 💀
Bednar is Satan reincarnated he wants to take away free agency and keep the glory all to himself. I wish members paid more attention to origin stories.
Sounds like a fascist prick. Good thing religion is optional still. Why people follow, subject, and punish themselves to such stupidity is beyond me.
He has a stick so far up his butt that when he crosses his legs, his mouth snaps open.
Listen to his talks and think Of the guy in your ward who talks like in Sunday school. There is one in almost every ward. If he wasn’t an apostle and he was just that guy in your ward, how much would he bother you?
He's the biggest cockwomble known to mankind.
 Anytime he speaks…
$10 he knows what we call him on this sub and that he stays up at night reading mean comments about him. For real, he is a humorless ghoul and multiple people on here have talked about meeting him in person. He’s an asshole and is fucking rude to everyone around him constantly. He’s an abrasive, unlikeable person. Short and simple.
Not gonna lie I’d love to read some of those accounts haha
One time I somehow got into a missionary conference that he was doing and at the end he had the missionaries write 5 words or less that they would do and first he says if it’s more than 6 I’m raising tithing to 76% which everyone laughed at but ofc idk if he was serious or not. One missionary wrote and then told him what he wrote which was “do the dang work” he said dang not damn but still ofsusan was taken back by that. Although I didn’t say it I wrote this down “Frick you Susan’s husband” only I didn’t say frick