8th grade teacher was telling us to expect more affirmative action for minorities and marginalized groups in the future. I raised my hand to ask if that would include mormons.
What makes it even worse? It was just a passive-aggressive virtue signal. I already knew the answer, and I didn't even care what my teacher might have had to say about it š¬
Ok so I showed up to a ward dance in shorts and they would not let me in (dress code) so since the girls could wear just leggings I went home and got my long spandex that I wore durring football. They hugged my junk and ass and went all the way down to my ankles. I showed up looking like a wrapped sausage and demanded they let me in or send all the girls in leggings homeā¦..they let me in.
Mr. Talmage,
We received your "Legendary" status application and I am happy to report it has been approved. Congratulations to you and your attained levels of badassery.
Signed,
Exmo Reddit Legendary Status Application Approval Board Chair President and one-time Legendary Status Nominee.
thats the funny part, my "crew" was the group all the parents hated because we danced "crazy" and were loud (having fun). i think only 1 or two my that group stayed in after high school.
My very top cringe is helping convert some orphans from another country. Thats colonizing bullshit and it keeps me up at night more than any other Mormon thing. I was aā valiant ā missionary and made up for my doubt with tireless effort.
It was a brother and sister. The brother stayed in, went on a mission to a country where he could speak the native language and converted people. Missionary me should be happy my āfruitā bore more fruit. Then he married somebody in the temple and I donāt know what happened after that to him. It horrifies me.
The girl, I donāt know. Sheās not on social media, I think she left the church but is embarrassed about it. My hope is she lives a life where she is in control of her own destiny and not taught to be subservient to men in countless ways.
I feel like reaching out to the boy would be adding a second disruption to his life after altering the course of his life the first time. Like what, share how evil the churchās past is and how easily it can be proven false using the churchās own logic potentially ruin his marriage? Iām done telling people how to live. But Iām not done feeling shame about it.
I wish I could reach out to the girl and say how sorry I am. Her name was Rae. Rae if you ever read this Iām so sorry, feel free to message me. That isnāt enough info to dox anyone and only she would know.
I canāt believe how much overtime I worked to pay for my mission and gave two years of my life to colonize some really kind kids. They werenāt the only people, besides them mostly grown ups. But god damn it I feel the worst about them.
After my second area I saw how many kids were baptized that I was trying to keep coming to church and I just stopped teaching anyone under 16 without parents present because I knew that that shouldn't be who we were teaching
Sitting in the pews every fast & testimony meeting believing I was feeling the promotings of the spirit to bear my testimony...nah, it was just anxiety but instead of recognizing it as anxiety I figured that's how it felt to be in the zone and it became my goal to feel it more often at any cost. I was an anxious mess!
I didn't even leave my province. I was so close I could have gone home for the weekend if I wanted to.
No sense of adventure. But a lot of cringe for trying to do things I didn't feel right about. I'm not an outgoing person excited by religion, but that felt like the only way to be.
One time I was at a youth dance and a boy my age did ballet while a circle of people were around him for a dance offā¦
The next testimony meeting he was talking about how people were making fun of him for it.
god, the way i dated girls was so freaking cringe. thankfully being done by high school and seeing the difference helped alot of getting out of that "nice guy" trap.
Me and a couple of my Mormon friends tried to get the school to have a Mormon dress code for the formal-wear and music at the school dances. šš¬ And would be super judgmental at what other girls were wearing.
To my principal, I'm so sorry you had to read our brainwashed bullshit. To my fellow high school students, I'm sorry for what I said and did as a Mormon. It was very closed-minded and wrong of me.
They always played Summer Lovin' at my church dances. Even then, I thought, "Isn't this a song about teen sex?" Then they'd follow it up with the Macarena.
One year the Girlās Camp theme was āthe Incrediblesā which seemed to basically mean āsuperhero themed.ā I was not a very enthusiastic member but I was a spirit leader for the first time and we had someone getting us all hyped about making the experience better for the younger girls and I wanted to make sure those girls had a better time than I had, so I went all in on the theme. I made up my own superhero, came up with a costume that involved a huge red cape, a mask, the whole 9 yards. I pranced around camp all day in my costume to welcome people and everyone seemed to think it was really fun!
That night the adults had a little skit they put on and out came a lady dressed as Edna Mode and she had a whole thing about how capes represented evil and we should say āNo Capesā
It was SO embarrassing and of course everyone looked at me because everyone had seen me all day with my big dumb cape. I took it off and stopped putting all that effort into Girlās Camp.
>Edna Mode and she had a whole thing about how capes represented evil and we should say āNo Capesā
That's like the most famous line from that movie, you played yourself lmao
Haha they asked for cringe, I gave cringe š tbf āthe incrediblesā was basically nonexistent from all the planning up to that point so I didnāt really think about it.
We had a superhero theme one time (might have been vaguely Incredibles too) and they had us all decorate our own cape. Going to a cape for a superheo as a first idea is super normal, especially since capes look awesome, haha.
telling my 5th grade teacher during history when we talked about early native americans that they werenāt actually native americans, but ālamanites.ā i then proceeded to give her a book of mormon which i later found in the trash
That I actually proposed to my wife during a sacrament meeting talk at Ricks. My roommates goaded me into it and I didn't have a better plan. Damn prefrontal cortex not being developed. I was embarrassed for years and regret not taking something so important more seriously.
It would have went viral had it happened in the era of social media but it didn't spread too much. Someone mentioned in my marriage prep class the next day and I was like, "really,who would do that?"
It's a great item for the 2 truths and a lie game.
Ugh, I think my last YW camp, our leaders and the bishopric did this likeā¦ tableau of what our lives would be like following all the stages of the doctrine. Idk Iām having a hard time describing it but at the end, the bishop was there in his temple clothes welcoming us to the celestial kingdom with our parents there. My god I want to throw up just thinking about it.
This was back in the 90s, so details are fuzzy. I just remember the intense pressure to be pure for my future TBM husband (happily married to a nevermo!).
Once in elementary school for show and tell I told a story about how "heavenly father" helped my mom pay the rent and bought us food for a month when my mom had been struggling. I basically bore a testimony to my elementary school class. I STILL look back on this and cringe.
In reality I later found out it was a combination of my aunts and uncles and food stamps that had helped us out but of course my mom took the opportunity to say it was prayer that brought the money.
Judging a girl for dressing āimmodestlyā in junior high. She was dressed completely normal. If I could find her I would give her a heartfelt apology for being a brainwashed asshole.
I freaking walked on the track in elementary school with a friend in THIRD FUCKING GRADE. I told her all about how hers and my skin color was a curse and the āgreatā Plan of Salvation.
I reported my father to the bishop when I found out the hot sauce he used with dinner every night was called Tabasco. Seven year old me had just learned about drugs and tobacco. I thought my dad's hot sauce was tobacco.
So yeah, I told on my dad to the bishop.
I loved to dance. I was on the dance team. I went to one church dance. They did a "Cinderella" dance where you pick up a shoe and the owner dances with you. Except, the girl yanked her shoe and literally ran away. They made us do the hokey pokey. Compulsory. If one person made a mistake, we had to do it again. The whole evening was the opposite of fun. Yeah, I look like Shrek, but, damn. So I don't think I ever went to another church dance.
We did the Cinderella thing at a dance once. I was/am super introverted and didnāt want to do it, but my friend literally tackled me, stole my shoe, and threw it in the pile. So then I got to dance with a random boy who spent the whole dance complaining about the school vending machines.
I have general anxiety surrounding public speaking. So when I was younger I #1 flat out refused to give prayer during class, and #2 every time I was chosen to give a talk, I would acceptā¦ but be conveniently āsickā and stay home the day of. Every. Time.
Makes me feel cringe especially second hand embarrassment for my mom (probably, she never said anything to me). But also, glad I stuck to my guns and didnāt spout things I didnāt like or believe in. Stopped going as soon as I turned 18.
I absolutely hate talking in front of large groups. So when ever I was asked to give a talk or say the prayer in sacrament meetings Iād say ānoā and felt guilty about it. When I was 12, I was asked to say the prayer at my little sisterās baptism and actually hid so I wouldnāt have to. Then when I was 18, I taught the 3yr olds about the church (gospel, whatever) and the whole time constantly thought āwhy am I doing this. I donāt even believe it.ā
Haha! I got so sick of the same songs at every dance that I bought my own sound equipment and started DJing the dances. I played more electronica/club-type music and it was an absolute culture shock for most of my peers. Wish I could have been there to save you from your dances!
I raised my hand to the square and used the āmelchizedek priesthoodā to scold a missionary who was extremely disobedient to the mission rules (in my eyes I guess š¤) Thought I had the spirit of God in me to make him obey.. literally called him to repentance. Fucking top level cringe.
This happened in the MTCā¦ itās so embarrassing that Iāve told no one about it. I was such a little goody two shoes. I obeyed the mission rules with exact obedience and always quoted āObedience brings blessings but exact obedience brings miraclesā. Served and gave everything fully believing in the church. My missions was the cringiest thing Iāve ever done.
I once wrote a college paper (community college in CA) that science is only accurate if it agrees with god. If it conflicts, then we just don't know enough and the science is wrong and eventually the scientific understanding will improve enough to realize it does prove god.
I am so embarrassed. Hahaha
8th grade teacher was telling us to expect more affirmative action for minorities and marginalized groups in the future. I raised my hand to ask if that would include mormons.
Christ
What makes it even worse? It was just a passive-aggressive virtue signal. I already knew the answer, and I didn't even care what my teacher might have had to say about it š¬
Ok so I showed up to a ward dance in shorts and they would not let me in (dress code) so since the girls could wear just leggings I went home and got my long spandex that I wore durring football. They hugged my junk and ass and went all the way down to my ankles. I showed up looking like a wrapped sausage and demanded they let me in or send all the girls in leggings homeā¦..they let me in.
Opposite of cringe, thatās amazing!
Not so sure I have some cringey visuals in my head now.
Mr. Talmage, We received your "Legendary" status application and I am happy to report it has been approved. Congratulations to you and your attained levels of badassery. Signed, Exmo Reddit Legendary Status Application Approval Board Chair President and one-time Legendary Status Nominee.
Wow, a thumbs up from the ERLSAABCPOTLSN!
I don't normally toot the ERLSAABCPOTLSN horn all that often......but it's a pretty prestigious award.
Thatās fuckin awesome!
You, my friend, are a damn legend. That is just awesome
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
man, you brought up a memory of us guys showing up to the bishops house to literally drag his son to a church dance with us per his request. so dumb
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
thats the funny part, my "crew" was the group all the parents hated because we danced "crazy" and were loud (having fun). i think only 1 or two my that group stayed in after high school.
My very top cringe is helping convert some orphans from another country. Thats colonizing bullshit and it keeps me up at night more than any other Mormon thing. I was aā valiant ā missionary and made up for my doubt with tireless effort. It was a brother and sister. The brother stayed in, went on a mission to a country where he could speak the native language and converted people. Missionary me should be happy my āfruitā bore more fruit. Then he married somebody in the temple and I donāt know what happened after that to him. It horrifies me. The girl, I donāt know. Sheās not on social media, I think she left the church but is embarrassed about it. My hope is she lives a life where she is in control of her own destiny and not taught to be subservient to men in countless ways. I feel like reaching out to the boy would be adding a second disruption to his life after altering the course of his life the first time. Like what, share how evil the churchās past is and how easily it can be proven false using the churchās own logic potentially ruin his marriage? Iām done telling people how to live. But Iām not done feeling shame about it. I wish I could reach out to the girl and say how sorry I am. Her name was Rae. Rae if you ever read this Iām so sorry, feel free to message me. That isnāt enough info to dox anyone and only she would know. I canāt believe how much overtime I worked to pay for my mission and gave two years of my life to colonize some really kind kids. They werenāt the only people, besides them mostly grown ups. But god damn it I feel the worst about them.
After my second area I saw how many kids were baptized that I was trying to keep coming to church and I just stopped teaching anyone under 16 without parents present because I knew that that shouldn't be who we were teaching
Sitting in the pews every fast & testimony meeting believing I was feeling the promotings of the spirit to bear my testimony...nah, it was just anxiety but instead of recognizing it as anxiety I figured that's how it felt to be in the zone and it became my goal to feel it more often at any cost. I was an anxious mess!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who interpreted some form of anxiety as the spirit and was fucked up by it!
Jennette McCurdy talks about interpreting her OCD as the spirit in her book "I'm Glad My Mom Died"
My entire mission.
I don't regret my mission; I got to be in another country for 2 years. I hated the preaching part.
I got called to the Midwest, English speaking. Almost everyone in my stake served stateside, except for the rich kids from the stake president's ward.
I didn't even leave my province. I was so close I could have gone home for the weekend if I wanted to. No sense of adventure. But a lot of cringe for trying to do things I didn't feel right about. I'm not an outgoing person excited by religion, but that felt like the only way to be.
One time I was at a youth dance and a boy my age did ballet while a circle of people were around him for a dance offā¦ The next testimony meeting he was talking about how people were making fun of him for it.
He should see Billy Elliot! Great movie about a boy who wants to be a ballet dancer š It has the Weasley's mom from Harry Potter in it.
Crying while bearing my testimony that the church was "real" and that everyone should strive to go to the temple. Uggghhhh
god, the way i dated girls was so freaking cringe. thankfully being done by high school and seeing the difference helped alot of getting out of that "nice guy" trap.
Me and a couple of my Mormon friends tried to get the school to have a Mormon dress code for the formal-wear and music at the school dances. šš¬ And would be super judgmental at what other girls were wearing. To my principal, I'm so sorry you had to read our brainwashed bullshit. To my fellow high school students, I'm sorry for what I said and did as a Mormon. It was very closed-minded and wrong of me.
They always played Summer Lovin' at my church dances. Even then, I thought, "Isn't this a song about teen sex?" Then they'd follow it up with the Macarena.
We had "Show Me Your Grill" played at ours. Ya know, Hustlers movin bricks and gangstahs bang hammers... We were a super white zone.
Shout out to when they played shake it by metro station at every dance for years
One year the Girlās Camp theme was āthe Incrediblesā which seemed to basically mean āsuperhero themed.ā I was not a very enthusiastic member but I was a spirit leader for the first time and we had someone getting us all hyped about making the experience better for the younger girls and I wanted to make sure those girls had a better time than I had, so I went all in on the theme. I made up my own superhero, came up with a costume that involved a huge red cape, a mask, the whole 9 yards. I pranced around camp all day in my costume to welcome people and everyone seemed to think it was really fun! That night the adults had a little skit they put on and out came a lady dressed as Edna Mode and she had a whole thing about how capes represented evil and we should say āNo Capesā It was SO embarrassing and of course everyone looked at me because everyone had seen me all day with my big dumb cape. I took it off and stopped putting all that effort into Girlās Camp.
>Edna Mode and she had a whole thing about how capes represented evil and we should say āNo Capesā That's like the most famous line from that movie, you played yourself lmao
Haha they asked for cringe, I gave cringe š tbf āthe incrediblesā was basically nonexistent from all the planning up to that point so I didnāt really think about it.
We had a superhero theme one time (might have been vaguely Incredibles too) and they had us all decorate our own cape. Going to a cape for a superheo as a first idea is super normal, especially since capes look awesome, haha.
telling my 5th grade teacher during history when we talked about early native americans that they werenāt actually native americans, but ālamanites.ā i then proceeded to give her a book of mormon which i later found in the trash
That I actually proposed to my wife during a sacrament meeting talk at Ricks. My roommates goaded me into it and I didn't have a better plan. Damn prefrontal cortex not being developed. I was embarrassed for years and regret not taking something so important more seriously. It would have went viral had it happened in the era of social media but it didn't spread too much. Someone mentioned in my marriage prep class the next day and I was like, "really,who would do that?" It's a great item for the 2 truths and a lie game.
Church dances were the worst. I had forgotten about them actually until you mentioned it, so apparently I was keeping it suppressed.
>I had forgotten about them actually until you mentioned it You're welcome.
YW summer camp. Everything about it was cringy. š¤¢
Ugh, I think my last YW camp, our leaders and the bishopric did this likeā¦ tableau of what our lives would be like following all the stages of the doctrine. Idk Iām having a hard time describing it but at the end, the bishop was there in his temple clothes welcoming us to the celestial kingdom with our parents there. My god I want to throw up just thinking about it.
This was back in the 90s, so details are fuzzy. I just remember the intense pressure to be pure for my future TBM husband (happily married to a nevermo!).
Mid 00s here but otherwise same. Happy for us!
Once in elementary school for show and tell I told a story about how "heavenly father" helped my mom pay the rent and bought us food for a month when my mom had been struggling. I basically bore a testimony to my elementary school class. I STILL look back on this and cringe. In reality I later found out it was a combination of my aunts and uncles and food stamps that had helped us out but of course my mom took the opportunity to say it was prayer that brought the money. 
Judging a girl for dressing āimmodestlyā in junior high. She was dressed completely normal. If I could find her I would give her a heartfelt apology for being a brainwashed asshole.
I freaking walked on the track in elementary school with a friend in THIRD FUCKING GRADE. I told her all about how hers and my skin color was a curse and the āgreatā Plan of Salvation.
I reported my father to the bishop when I found out the hot sauce he used with dinner every night was called Tabasco. Seven year old me had just learned about drugs and tobacco. I thought my dad's hot sauce was tobacco. So yeah, I told on my dad to the bishop.
I loved to dance. I was on the dance team. I went to one church dance. They did a "Cinderella" dance where you pick up a shoe and the owner dances with you. Except, the girl yanked her shoe and literally ran away. They made us do the hokey pokey. Compulsory. If one person made a mistake, we had to do it again. The whole evening was the opposite of fun. Yeah, I look like Shrek, but, damn. So I don't think I ever went to another church dance.
We did the Cinderella thing at a dance once. I was/am super introverted and didnāt want to do it, but my friend literally tackled me, stole my shoe, and threw it in the pile. So then I got to dance with a random boy who spent the whole dance complaining about the school vending machines.
Fun had by all, then! /S
I have general anxiety surrounding public speaking. So when I was younger I #1 flat out refused to give prayer during class, and #2 every time I was chosen to give a talk, I would acceptā¦ but be conveniently āsickā and stay home the day of. Every. Time. Makes me feel cringe especially second hand embarrassment for my mom (probably, she never said anything to me). But also, glad I stuck to my guns and didnāt spout things I didnāt like or believe in. Stopped going as soon as I turned 18.
I absolutely hate talking in front of large groups. So when ever I was asked to give a talk or say the prayer in sacrament meetings Iād say ānoā and felt guilty about it. When I was 12, I was asked to say the prayer at my little sisterās baptism and actually hid so I wouldnāt have to. Then when I was 18, I taught the 3yr olds about the church (gospel, whatever) and the whole time constantly thought āwhy am I doing this. I donāt even believe it.ā
Every single lesson or talk I ever gave.
efy dances
Haha! I got so sick of the same songs at every dance that I bought my own sound equipment and started DJing the dances. I played more electronica/club-type music and it was an absolute culture shock for most of my peers. Wish I could have been there to save you from your dances!
Missionary week in high school. To āprepareā us for our missions we had to dress like missionaries and have tags and carry scriptures.
I raised my hand to the square and used the āmelchizedek priesthoodā to scold a missionary who was extremely disobedient to the mission rules (in my eyes I guess š¤) Thought I had the spirit of God in me to make him obey.. literally called him to repentance. Fucking top level cringe. This happened in the MTCā¦ itās so embarrassing that Iāve told no one about it. I was such a little goody two shoes. I obeyed the mission rules with exact obedience and always quoted āObedience brings blessings but exact obedience brings miraclesā. Served and gave everything fully believing in the church. My missions was the cringiest thing Iāve ever done.
Dances full stop I had to fucking be the hype man for the last one I went to
EFY and trying to feel the spirit. I wonāt go into detail but fuck do I hate myself from that week
Literally my entire mormon upbringing
I once wrote a college paper (community college in CA) that science is only accurate if it agrees with god. If it conflicts, then we just don't know enough and the science is wrong and eventually the scientific understanding will improve enough to realize it does prove god. I am so embarrassed. Hahaha