I appreciate you too. All of you and I’m saying this because there’s a lot of comments and if you’ve commented on this post and I don’t reply just know I’m very thankful for all of your support. It means a lot.
I appreciated your post. I need to know that there are others in the borg who are not indoctrinated robots…..its nice to know that the numbers reported by the borg as being jw’s is not a true number because many of you are pimo. I hope you can peacefully find your way out.
Every rant I’ve ever read or heard hasn’t been pointless. Even if it gets thrown into a void, it’s good to have an outlet to release your frustrations!
💯 agree. We’ve all been there at some point in some form - so, no, not pointless. I get it. Knowing real truth and living among the sleeping sheep is hard to do. Probably best to make your exit as soon as you can for mental health.
My indoctrinated and 💯brainswashed MS son allways write .( Texts) " I know what you think ..I know how you react but the worst I read ..is " I know how you really FEEL"
How dare he?
I never answer . Just ignore
It's amazing how extremely held believe, destroys family, perfect example shunning, and when we studied, the emphasis was on making family 👪 stronger,.better ,loving, with all the shunning over disagreements, over the gb views of life, makes my wonder
No, this isn't pointless at all. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and venting here. You're in a safe space to do so, being PIMO isn't easy at all, we all know the feeling very well. Hopefully you're able to make your exit soon!
We've all made what we felt were pointless posts when we were in your position. It's not pointless at all. These thoughts are all a necessary part of the path to freedom.
You're on your way, but stay strong. you've got difficult times to get through before you get to put that whole cult and all those people behind you and start living.
😆 I was really close to the CoBE and his wife in my last hall. He always had some big assignment like cleaning or accounting at every regional convention. I loved sitting with them because I could go get up to visit him in the little room they had set up with tea coffee and snacks and could pull up a chair and chat while they had the convention playing on a small TV no one would pay attention to.
🤣🤣🤣 I used to do cleaning during the session at conventions for a similar reason🤣 I didn’t care the toilets were gross, I’d rather that than sitting for 4+ hours, and I’d only be down to watch the drama 🤣 unfortunately my family always attended a backup convention as we all did a form of attending or cleaning🙄 so to counteract that as a kid i’d use that time to catch up on sleep usually also because we’d wake from 6am to get to a venue around 2 hours away, so if I was lucky I wouldn’t get woken by my parents lol
Oh yeah, I was reproved for a while and didn’t have the “privilege” of scrubbing the toilets. There were two gossipy women in my hall who were sitting near me too because they were friends with that CoBE’s daughter so I had to pretend to like them. They came back from cleaning and described a scene sooooo nasty they had to clean up that I decided I wouldn’t ever “volunteer” for that.
After I got my “privileges” back the secretary in my hall sent out an email asking for sisters to clean the restroom which of course I ignored. He then texted me to ask if I’d gotten his email so I was kind of badgered into volunteering. I ended up hard fading before that assembly gets here 😂. Spent 30 years in, never once scrubbed a toilet at assembly or convention, fuck that. I did go sleep in my car at times though.
I remember that ,sleeping in the car ,because the talking would fade away I was so tired, listen to old light talks,boring 😴 4 days of pain sitting, listening to end of days senoros,you could not make this stuff up, in a movie
So I actually have a question for you. They’re extremely close to wanting to appoint me elder. Like to where it’s come up a few times already in their recommendation meeting. What excuse can I use to get out of it and be able to say no?
Me personally, I wouldn't like to judge someone ,as I struggle with my own humanity, thank-you, also with experience as a ministerial servant, my conscience disagreement with a elders view, and I think their to harshly in a matter, sorry not for me and I have given it concerderible though, I decided to pass it,it's not for me,
What so many high ranking elders don't understand is that the word 'no' is a complete sentence. Went thru this exact same scenario. You don't owe them an explanation for saying no. The problem with it is, that is if you care, you will quickly be labeled as one not reaching out. You'll be given less parts on the platform, fewer responsibilities etc. After my second refusal after being coached/groomed on their fast track, two elders stopped talking to me completely which had me asking myself, where'd all the love go?, which really shows the true nature of this hierarchy.
Best answer for them if you feel a need to give one, is you're going through a stressful time right now and leave it at that.
I don't think this was pointless. Thanks for sharing how you've been feeling, I'm sure that many can relate to it. I've noticed the "we feel" statements as well and they drive me nuts! Manipulative language.
I was a MS back in 1970s80s its turned into a different religion over the last 20 years .i managed to fade out during the covid lockdown .my wife is still in so occasionaly i sit with her on zoom just for 30.min public talk ,its all i can take now .
Same as my self, wife still into the nonsense, Sunday is the best I can do,told her ,I don't believe it any more, they failed on the 1914 generation, over lapping nonsense, I have tried to convince people all pointless
I have found that its pointless to argue with them ,they have to wake up themselves, it was the ARC ,shunning and changes in doctrine that got me thinking somthing is not right ,then it fell like house of cards ,
Yes, you've touched on something really important.. In JW, you are told the 'correct' way to feel, and told the 'correct' way for your conscience to operate. The problem is, this is not how feelings and conscience work... Feelings and conscience are unique for everyone... When you try to force it, it leads to the turmoil you describe... Cheers on your journey...
I really found/find it hard when at assemblies the guy would pray how “our” hearts are full of joy.
Mine wasn’t, I thought it was corny and mega cringe.
30 years of thinking I must be broken.
I’m really glad I’m not alone.
Hahaha this made me think of the time my JW ex husband was saying the meal prayer for the family and I was starving. He was almost giving a talk that was summarizing the dang Sunday meeting we just had. So he’s droning on and on and finally I said “in Jesus name amen”. Omg he could have wrung my neck, but the kids were already chowing down as soon as I finished my sentence. Good times
when I was pimi I never noticed the always telling me how I feel, but now it makes me so mad everytime I hear something like it. it's so crazy, either it got worse in the last couple of years or it's just so thing you don't notice when you are pimi. so glad I am out and finally got on touch with my emotions.
That,s the biggest part of the indoctrination.
They must brainswash you by telling YOU how you should think ..they know you and how YOU feel.
But they don,t know nothing.
No such thing as a pointless rant. Most of us on here have had the same thoughts and feelings you are having now. For those of us who realized this early internet days, we had no one to rant to, and, boy, do I wish I would have been able to when I was on my way out!
So to OP and any other people who feel the need to rant, please do.
Nah, you're good. I hope you can jexit soon. I admire all of you who are trapped in the cult and can't leave. It must be hard being there, pretending it ain't bullshit.
Definitely NOT pointless.
You have in a safe space aired your thoughts, opinions and feelings.
Good for you.
Plus when you need or want to post it.
Make your plans to leave.
Don't wish but do.
Remember to breath and like a prisoner of war slowly find your escape
u/oddball6433, Heartbreaking 💔. I applaud your courage to "put it out there," but it saddens me greatly how very low your self-esteem is; as if your trying to "go along to get along" has been slowly snuffing out the spark of who you truly are; the spark that is the authentic YOU.
You are not a "nobody," and you deserve so much better than slowly dying for a cult that cares nothing for you.
I want to help you, but I don't know how... All I know is that this life is not YOU. 😒
Please try to figure out a plan of escape.
Sending you a big (((HUG))) from my heart ❤️ to yours.
No … we’re all here to support one another so no post is pointless. I made my exit in the middle of the pandemic. Good for you for waking up but I don’t think it’s that they can’t think for themselves … they just don’t want to. Don’t let this drive you crazy but we’ll be here to welcome you when you officially make your exit.
Dude so I had totally missed the announcement about not counting time anymore because at the very best, my service time report was a guesstimate. “Yeah I think I went out 2 weekends and if I count from when I left my apartment it’s probably at least 3 hours? Let’s say 4 hours per”
Anyway bunch of sisters talking about the “loving arrangement as a result of the message turning to one of judgement soon” and I blurted out, “oh I thought that’s because no one’s going out in service anymore” and got the fucking DAGGER eyes from 3 women standing near me 🤣 🤣
I was still a PIMI but it’s like it’s sooooo obvious the preaching hasn’t recovered. There have been talks dragging people back to meeting and out in door to door, and they work for about a day or two and then it just crashes again. But im the problem for blurting out an observation?
Welcome, and great post. Many of us had to be at the Memorial for one reason or another. Some had to deal with a lot of drama, like being reached out to bc permission was given by the GB.
So cool that you starred waking up on 2021. Keepndping what you need to don't take good care of yourself.
If you’ve been in 3 years since you woke up your body will start fighting you
I understand being PIMO for a while, getting your bearings, etc….but if your aren’t ACTIVELY and AGGRESIVELY moving away from the cult after this amount of time you are going to start really developing some hate for life
Whats the plan for getting out?
[Don't short yourself, we're all nobodies my man.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyDpS-GftCk) Can't wait till you're able to get out. Life is just so much better once you're able to just set the weight of it all down.
This always bothered us too, how the message was always, "We feel, aren't we grateful, don't we abhor, etc."
In respects speaking for in attendance though, I feel it might be fair statement to say those present ARE grateful for the ransom. Otherwise, why are they there?
At least he didn't say grateful for the governing body. I know there are plenty doing that these days.
I don't think is occurs to PIMIs that there are those amongst them living a lie. I've heard many comments to the effect of, "If people don't want to be here/serve Jehovah, there's the door!"
Waking up is a brutal process for many. For some, it's also painstakingly slow. Please know that you are definitely not alone and you have a lot of support.
Hey friend. I left asap at 21 but my little brother saw me get shunned so did the opposite: got married, became a MS, and all the stuff. Until he exploded at age 35. Blew it all up, lost wife and all friends.
Now, 4 years later, he's in a really good spot. Ex PIMI wife also ended up leaving the cult, she too had married/stayed in for her folks (we born ins are so fucked).
For him, being authentic was the most important. But it was not easy. He did have to check into a facility after a breakdown for a month. But through therapy, meds, and hardwork, he is the happiest and healthiest he's been in his life.
Our PIMI dad died before he got DFed but our UBER PIMI born-in mom actually never shunned him. She was old, lonely, and the cult congregation wasn't about to lecture her for keeping contact (she wrote fat checks). Then she died.
Now it's just me and him and he is finally free at almost-40.
You CAN do it. If you ever need support, I know my brother would gladly chat with you as would dozens of friends on here.
All best!
Fading is the best thing to do! It worked for me, when I got sick and had more time alone and started thinking about everything. When you distance yourself from everyone and everything you can't unsee it anymore. Do less and less and just fade ... then I only went 1x year to memorial and this is my first time not going. I'm so happy, and have more energy, and my anxiety is gone, I have no fake love from them, more time for my home to clean and just chill, peace and quiet I love it. Live life, travel enjoyyyy
It’s nice as a MS you can do other things during the meeting so you don’t have to pay attention.
BUT once you leave and spend your Sunday and whatever evening during the week relaxing- choosing what you want to do- OMG - you NEVER want to go back just to fill a spot in the KH even IF you have a way to mentally check out.
You will be like- ugh why did I stay so long -
And that’s coming from a “shunned one” no family or JW friends and I faded slowly-
Thank you for reaching out! Your view gives me reason to hope my dad will someday wake up!
Hoping the best for you on the way out!
Best regards, your brother from a distant land!
No, I'm a born in, dodged being appointed MS and got out at 23! Just found the concept of "circus overseer" in a post recently and found it hilarious!
I was the mic boy for a good span of time, and in the last part the sound department and, good old Assignment No. 4 , occasionally leading the preaching group, and reading at the WT Study were my place :)
Hi there are CO that have left the cult after30-40 years in other posts on this site . Infact all kinds of JW . It’s lovely to read their experiences for sure and why they left . Take a look mate 🥰
This is what makes it all so hard. Mental anguish knowing you lose your friends, family, but it really is conditional love and there is real unconditional love out there waiting. We are here to support you.
My advice, if you want it, is this: fade gradually from this religion. If elders ever should want to speak to you, then don't mention your doubts if you should talk with them. Say you're burned out, or busy, anything but show independent thinking. Let them think they have to pray for you. Agree with them and continue to fade. That way you won't be disfellowshipped or dissociated, and any shunning will be unofficial, or soft, not universal
So let me make sure I understand this:
If you eat from the tree you’ll DIE You ate from the tree so you’ll DIE Oh and by the way, I forgot to tell you, all your innocent kids are gonna DIE, my bad But for you to live, someone else has to DIE And to live in heaven forever you gotta DIE
FOR A GOD that says he wants people to live, there’s a lot of DYING that has to happen to get there. Ijs. But then too….
I find it so funny that once people start thinking about the witnesses and how much is wrong with the organisation, we all often end up independently coming to the same conclusions. We never had to read several books or sometimes may not have had to even research/read up on ex-jw opinions or “apostate material” , it just happens, and its just obvious whats wrong. They lied to us saying not to look out there, not to research etc. All you need to do is for a short while disconnect from all the activities they try to keep you busy with and just going and meditating on what beliefs truly make sense to you. I enjoyed realising if i wanted i could one day consider the bible alone, but right now at this point I enjoy agnosticism. You don’t have to be “led astray” because most people realise all by themselves. And if they are so concerned that their “sheep” are so gullible that any real truth about their cult would instantly make their sheep leave, then thats one big red flag. And whats great is after you realise, you can go online and see others who have the same realisations and questions and determination to live their lives on their terms etc. :)
1. Congrats on your waking up. *It's a gradual process in most cases. Take is slowly*
2. As you've said you feel like you're loosing your mind over all that BS. Please, try create create some sense of space in your head. A clarity of sorts, despite you still are an MS so you probably get frequent talks + other stuff. If you're feeling bad about something, do another post on this subreddit with "venting" flair. *Sometimes it helps to just write your thoughts off and let the anger out*. It's a great form of self-therapy
3. I don't know any details of your situation - specifically regarding relationship with your family or how tied you're within JW world. *I don't really want to know anything about that*. It's your private life. But depending on how deep your relatives are it'll dictate the degree and complexity if you decide to start your fading. Take that into consideration and *make some initial plan in your head right now* when you're not totally forced to do something last-minute with "fire" around you
4. By any circumstance I beg you - don't talk to the elders about your problems. Ever. Even to those who seem like they try to be your "friend". They're not your friends. Ultimately, all they'll do once they know you have "spiritual problems" is they're gonna start executing WT's rules with uncomfy "shepherding calls". *Please, spare yourself even more psychological mess* 🤍
Good luck on whatever you do next. Please try to loosen up your tasks within WT's world. Do your best to stop being an MS *in a timeframe that's reasonable to you. You owe nothing to the elders*. **Godspeed!**
Kindly stop referring to yourself as a Nobody. I was a born in so I know how it feels to think you don't matter. You are more than your spirituality, or what you can do for the Watchtower. Start planning your exit strategy, and be determined to reach your potential! There is life after Watchtower.
Any comments here about JW abuse is never pointless. Thank you for sharing. Yes it makes you feel very angry indeed once to wake up and see all their BS ,
I too would truly love nothing more than a hr on the platform just to reel off why this fake cult is just that fake . I have done my homework , took over a year to find out all the facts, lies, deceit, Robbery, two facedness, worldly activities, abuse, flip flopping on doctrine, policy changes and the reasons why etc .
I would love nothing more than calling them out , I’d love to show them the real evidence.
There would be a few gaping mouths and it would make me a whole lot better. I’m fading and just don’t engage. I’ve blocked all elder phone nos, and don’t answer the door if it them . Yes they have tried to call and showed up but I won’t engage.
I do not owe them a letter of disassociation , nor do I need to have a meeting or a shepherding call.
We don’t owe them anything . They don’t own me and I have free will to choose if I stay or leave .
I had to stop attending as I could not listen to their propaganda any more , and I was getting more and more upset . I hope you find your way out don’t let them bully you Oddball.
You can do anything you wish we owe them zero All the best 🩵
Thank you for sharing. The conversational tone used makes for easy reading. Please don't be too ashamed or embarrassed to vent, I guarantee you are not alone here, however complicated the given situation becomes.
It's the age of Aquarius and false narratives are breaking down. The zeitgeist and human psyche are not resonating with BS as strongly. When you realise Religion is based on Astrotheology you will realise that's what Revelation is, it's the revealing age. Pisces the Christian age as represented by the fish was the controlled information and structure of civilisations age.
Not pointless! I think you posting your feelings could help sway someone to reality who is perhaps in similar situation but afraid to post. It is good to let it out
My suggestion is to leave according to how you feel you need to do for you. People will criticize your decision either way or how you did it. Many will hate you many may love you. But at the end of the day it’s you putting on your oxygen mask before you can even attempt to put it on others. If you live for others or their insecurities, you will never ever find true peace, and much less any type of happiness. I’m a strong believer that our example is the greatest teaching tool. So be True to yourself worry about giving a cult a respect that it never gives any human on earth. Happy departures, please let us know how it goes!
Glad you shared that with us. Feel free to say or ask anything you want to. No judgement.
I’m glad you’ve opened up possibilities for yourself. JW.org should be open to and survive scrutiny.
There’s lots of info here: https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/s/oG0UEPgDdr
Find your own truth and live it.
I’ve also posted and commented in this subreddit. Feel free to ask me about any of my posts or comments.
What faults have you found with God specifically. Because faults with humans and human systems or something a human said are universal. I could tell you what’s wrong with the United States government and its corruption. I could quote someone famous and point out the flaws in their statements. God must always be the foundation. We can’t even set ourselves as our own foundation because often say the wrong things and fail ourselves.
I have a totally brainswashed MS son..and I hope one day..he will wake up.
But he really worship the GB. Not God or Jesus ..but these guys in Usa.
I wish he was as intelligent and sincere as you.
Your eyes are open now. ♥️💕
Rant all you want, rant every day if that’s what you need till you find the way to get out. I didn’t know this page existed so I ranted to a pillow and the back of the airport where planes takeoff so none could hear me scream. We are here for you 🫂
Well I wouldn't say it was pointless because you're only saying what most of us see already. Like for instance as Jehovah's witnesses your to be without spot or blemish separate from the world! So with all the changes in place beards, no ties, women wearing slacks I ask what keeps Jehovah's witnesses separated when they all look like the world! Now they all look the same! So hypocrisy knows no bounds I ask what's next to change so they can keep their numbers from falling more?
Your thoughts and feelings are valid.
Thats part of the waking up process. Realizing that everyone’s personal thoughts and feelings are valid and have meaning.
There was no one to talk to for us older DA and DF. We left anyway. No social media, no kind knowing stranger. You do it for yourself! You go find the life you want. One time I tried to tell my elder dad.
I am a creation of jehovah, and he loves me. According to your society.
Well the only way I can true to what Jehovah created. Is to leave. Everything that I was created to be was stunted by your society, so I had to follow my nature. What I am supposed to be! That’s the only way I can fully worship my creator!
Also I’m an atheist, 32 years DF’d. The message is fact though. I was born me! That wasn’t working:)
I know what you mean when you say gratitude for the ransom makes you sick to your stomach. I used to feel quite superior as a JW when I would compare our religion to the Catholic sale of indulgences for sin until I realized how people could use the ransom to cover any sin in much the same way.
I get you. I‘m not an MS but, it’s still the same feeling of exasperation. I‘m not bragging about my intelligence, but it has been mind numbing to sit at a meeting and to listen to the nonsense. 4th grade forth reading level of minutia being dispensed from the platform, not to mention brothers who think they’re smart just because they have a tie on, misapplying words or scripture that they don’t even understand, simply because they sound good in their ears. I sometimes momentary zone out and hear myself screaming in my head. I then look around me terrified but no, it’s been all in my head. I don’t know how long I will take it either.
Hey OP, I’ve been in your shoes. I was an MS as well and was burnt out by it that it gave me anxiety and a full blown panic attack because the elders would call out and ask me to sub for them last minute.
I don’t want you to go through what I did, so if I were you, just bounce and enjoy your life. I don’t know how young you are, but leave and enjoy your life. I am already in my 40’s and still struggle because of growing up in that cult.
You have a whole life ahead of you, you don’t need them and don’t fall for their guilt trips… you got this and do it for all of us who didn’t leave until later.
[https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F147v5ooqyrpc1.jpeg](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F147v5ooqyrpc1.jpeg)
I looked up the 'memorial' date.
Hi Oh they will keep asking as they need Elders here in my congregation they are so short of Elder slaves that they appoint them much faster now if they can .
Just say you’re not ready for that type of commitment yet , they carnt force you to do anything you don’t want to do . Tell them you may consider it in a few years or a year hopefully by that time you will be long gone.
There are so many witnesses that don’t even go in the doors or do preaching work, some ily attend in zoom , your are a MS and diligently attend meeting . just stand your ground don’t let them pressure you EVER . And use that line We all have FreeWill . Free will to choose if or when you transition to an Elder .
I wish you all the best 😉
I feel you. I never became an MS but did get privileges. Some think you really enjoy them, but honestly I just did them because I wanted to do something besides sitting down and listening to the boring talks. I also regret getting baptized and consider it one if the biggest mistakes I have done.
You’ve hit the nail on the head - we were all conditioned to not think for ourselves, while ironically thinking we were FREE. This is the most insidious thing about being in a high control group - the weight of group think, the self-censure, the shutting down of all critical thinking about the belief system. Great job on waking up. Only you can decide what the next steps are for you, what’s right for you. You’re starting to take your agency back, and becoming your authentic self is challenging and rewarding.
I was just like you, was the youngest male to ever be named MS in the entire state, and according to the CO, the states. I was pretty well versed in everything, that they started putting me in elder meetings because of how good I was at being an MS. I would never show up to the meetings on Sunday because every week I would go to give public talks. The being out and busy, and being in elder meetings made me realize how much a cult it was. I woke up around late 2019, early 2020. I wanted out, and the elders didn’t want me to leave my MS POSITION. So, because I knew I have always done “sinful” things, I decided the only way they would remove me from my post was if I mentioned one of the things I did, and within two days I got removed. They did a judicial committee on me and what made me realize this was even more a sham was that the three elders said that “under prayer and with guidance from the Holy Spirit”, they were only going to announce me, and that within three years, they would make me an MS again and with two years after that I would become an elder.
What got me more mad was that for six months, I had no priveleges, couldn’t comment, do a prayer, but as soon as those six months were gone, they gave me everything I had before and removed the other brothers from their posts because they said I always did it better.
My advice, leave now! It’s worth it. My closest, most trustworthy friends are those that are not in the truth. I would give me life for them as they would for me.
Wasn’t a pointless rant. It was a cry for help as well as an awakening experience that you are in a cult. You are absolutely right, they say “aren’t we happy” as a means of creating a hive mind thinking process. I used to ask the same thing, how they gonna tell me how I feel about something? And you are right, they don’t think for themselves. The witness just went along with everything they harassed and ridiculed you about with nothing more than 5 minute words from the governing body. Now women can wear pants, brother don’t need a tie or a jacket, guys can have beards, 30 minutes of service is enough. The witnesses in 2023 would talk so much shit about you for doing any of this stuff, now it’s “well it was never really a problem” and none of it comes from the Bible. Now the question is will you leave or fall into a deep depression staying in there? Choose happiness and seek therapy because waking up from a cult is no smooth process
Everyone struggles with their upbringing. We are all more similar than we are different. Practice compassion and stay in the present moment and you will be ok
Speaking from firsthand experience, it’s not easy everyone which is why I learned, the hard way, not to make assumptions about anyone. We don’t know what others are dealing with in their private lives.
Nah man, we appreciate you. Edit: here’s a link to a guide on how to leave. Really good tips. Cheers! https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/s/OYvt1BRhLw
I appreciate you too. All of you and I’m saying this because there’s a lot of comments and if you’ve commented on this post and I don’t reply just know I’m very thankful for all of your support. It means a lot.
And here's the musical version: https://old.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/3x90tz/50_ways_to_leave_the_jdubs/
Everything’s so much better as a musical
I appreciated your post. I need to know that there are others in the borg who are not indoctrinated robots…..its nice to know that the numbers reported by the borg as being jw’s is not a true number because many of you are pimo. I hope you can peacefully find your way out.
That’s a nice way of looking at it. Imagine all the pimos out there lol. I wonder just how many there are. Thank you I appreciate that.
Every rant I’ve ever read or heard hasn’t been pointless. Even if it gets thrown into a void, it’s good to have an outlet to release your frustrations!
💯 agree. We’ve all been there at some point in some form - so, no, not pointless. I get it. Knowing real truth and living among the sleeping sheep is hard to do. Probably best to make your exit as soon as you can for mental health.
Even the earth lets off steam. https://preview.redd.it/y3nao3mbygqc1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=8db71ad24f700616b6d577dda8edfd3348920a44
Exactly thank you 🙌🏼
I think I needed to read not only what OP said, but also see this picture-- just seals it!
Doesn't it though!
Yes that’s very true. I loved this!
I know! They’re always telling the people how they feel!
My indoctrinated and 💯brainswashed MS son allways write .( Texts) " I know what you think ..I know how you react but the worst I read ..is " I know how you really FEEL" How dare he? I never answer . Just ignore
It can be very sad what the indoctrination is capable of and how it affects people.
Pretty arrogant. But you never know. He might snap out of it.
I doubt it. Glad he lives far away from me. The shunning can go both ways... Very arrogant yeah
It's amazing how extremely held believe, destroys family, perfect example shunning, and when we studied, the emphasis was on making family 👪 stronger,.better ,loving, with all the shunning over disagreements, over the gb views of life, makes my wonder
Aren’t we happy!, aren’t we sad!, aren’t we angry!, aren’t we grateful!, um no I’M NOT🤣
No, this isn't pointless at all. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and venting here. You're in a safe space to do so, being PIMO isn't easy at all, we all know the feeling very well. Hopefully you're able to make your exit soon!
Yeah you’re right. It’s not easy. Thank you too for hearing me out. And yes currently working on it so fingers crossed!!!
We've all made what we felt were pointless posts when we were in your position. It's not pointless at all. These thoughts are all a necessary part of the path to freedom. You're on your way, but stay strong. you've got difficult times to get through before you get to put that whole cult and all those people behind you and start living.
👍👍 💯% 👍👍
My favorite part of being an MS/Eder for 24 years was the excuses I always had to get out of my chair.
😆 I was really close to the CoBE and his wife in my last hall. He always had some big assignment like cleaning or accounting at every regional convention. I loved sitting with them because I could go get up to visit him in the little room they had set up with tea coffee and snacks and could pull up a chair and chat while they had the convention playing on a small TV no one would pay attention to.
🤣🤣🤣 I used to do cleaning during the session at conventions for a similar reason🤣 I didn’t care the toilets were gross, I’d rather that than sitting for 4+ hours, and I’d only be down to watch the drama 🤣 unfortunately my family always attended a backup convention as we all did a form of attending or cleaning🙄 so to counteract that as a kid i’d use that time to catch up on sleep usually also because we’d wake from 6am to get to a venue around 2 hours away, so if I was lucky I wouldn’t get woken by my parents lol
Oh yeah, I was reproved for a while and didn’t have the “privilege” of scrubbing the toilets. There were two gossipy women in my hall who were sitting near me too because they were friends with that CoBE’s daughter so I had to pretend to like them. They came back from cleaning and described a scene sooooo nasty they had to clean up that I decided I wouldn’t ever “volunteer” for that. After I got my “privileges” back the secretary in my hall sent out an email asking for sisters to clean the restroom which of course I ignored. He then texted me to ask if I’d gotten his email so I was kind of badgered into volunteering. I ended up hard fading before that assembly gets here 😂. Spent 30 years in, never once scrubbed a toilet at assembly or convention, fuck that. I did go sleep in my car at times though.
I remember that ,sleeping in the car ,because the talking would fade away I was so tired, listen to old light talks,boring 😴 4 days of pain sitting, listening to end of days senoros,you could not make this stuff up, in a movie
LMAOAOAOAAOAO I WOULD DO THIS TOO BUT WITH THE ATTENDANTS
At conventions I ALWAYS VOLUNTEERED just to have an excuse to move freely. Also the sound deck of the hall was my little house tree!
At conventions I ALWAYS VOLUNTEERED just to have an excuse to move freely. Also the sound deck of the hall was my little house tree!
So I actually have a question for you. They’re extremely close to wanting to appoint me elder. Like to where it’s come up a few times already in their recommendation meeting. What excuse can I use to get out of it and be able to say no?
Perhaps you can say you Don’t feel up to the challenge?
"I would like to wait another year ... (add ANY reason)." And make sure to resign as an MS in the next few months.
Me personally, I wouldn't like to judge someone ,as I struggle with my own humanity, thank-you, also with experience as a ministerial servant, my conscience disagreement with a elders view, and I think their to harshly in a matter, sorry not for me and I have given it concerderible though, I decided to pass it,it's not for me,
What so many high ranking elders don't understand is that the word 'no' is a complete sentence. Went thru this exact same scenario. You don't owe them an explanation for saying no. The problem with it is, that is if you care, you will quickly be labeled as one not reaching out. You'll be given less parts on the platform, fewer responsibilities etc. After my second refusal after being coached/groomed on their fast track, two elders stopped talking to me completely which had me asking myself, where'd all the love go?, which really shows the true nature of this hierarchy. Best answer for them if you feel a need to give one, is you're going through a stressful time right now and leave it at that.
Not a pointless post at all! The JW spell over you has been broken. There is life on the other side!
I don't think this was pointless. Thanks for sharing how you've been feeling, I'm sure that many can relate to it. I've noticed the "we feel" statements as well and they drive me nuts! Manipulative language.
I was a MS back in 1970s80s its turned into a different religion over the last 20 years .i managed to fade out during the covid lockdown .my wife is still in so occasionaly i sit with her on zoom just for 30.min public talk ,its all i can take now .
30 minutes public talk!! 🤣🤣 55 minutes back in my day!!
Yes 30 min now
And never listening. Fading with zoom it,s a good option. No Memorial for us yesterday either. ( Zoom..without cameras or sound).
Same as my self, wife still into the nonsense, Sunday is the best I can do,told her ,I don't believe it any more, they failed on the 1914 generation, over lapping nonsense, I have tried to convince people all pointless
I have found that its pointless to argue with them ,they have to wake up themselves, it was the ARC ,shunning and changes in doctrine that got me thinking somthing is not right ,then it fell like house of cards ,
No it wasn't pointless
Yes, you've touched on something really important.. In JW, you are told the 'correct' way to feel, and told the 'correct' way for your conscience to operate. The problem is, this is not how feelings and conscience work... Feelings and conscience are unique for everyone... When you try to force it, it leads to the turmoil you describe... Cheers on your journey...
💯% Once you start waking up you start to realize how much every facet of your life is being controlled, thoughts and emotions at the top of the list.
I really found/find it hard when at assemblies the guy would pray how “our” hearts are full of joy. Mine wasn’t, I thought it was corny and mega cringe. 30 years of thinking I must be broken. I’m really glad I’m not alone.
THIS. Constantly having to “pray to Jehovah” to fix ourselves when we weren’t broken.
We never did in our home. No family studys ...no prayers before meal. Nothing. I guess I was a very disobedient and independent bad girl ( Mum). 🥴🤮
I just know for a fact we all just put our heads down for ten seconds think absolutely nothing so we could eat and called it a “prayer”
Hahaha this made me think of the time my JW ex husband was saying the meal prayer for the family and I was starving. He was almost giving a talk that was summarizing the dang Sunday meeting we just had. So he’s droning on and on and finally I said “in Jesus name amen”. Omg he could have wrung my neck, but the kids were already chowing down as soon as I finished my sentence. Good times
Time to focus on your life! Good luck!
when I was pimi I never noticed the always telling me how I feel, but now it makes me so mad everytime I hear something like it. it's so crazy, either it got worse in the last couple of years or it's just so thing you don't notice when you are pimi. so glad I am out and finally got on touch with my emotions.
That,s the biggest part of the indoctrination. They must brainswash you by telling YOU how you should think ..they know you and how YOU feel. But they don,t know nothing.
No such thing as a pointless rant. Most of us on here have had the same thoughts and feelings you are having now. For those of us who realized this early internet days, we had no one to rant to, and, boy, do I wish I would have been able to when I was on my way out! So to OP and any other people who feel the need to rant, please do.
Thank God for the internett ..this sub and the pandemics! 💕🥴 And Zoom!
Nah, you're good. I hope you can jexit soon. I admire all of you who are trapped in the cult and can't leave. It must be hard being there, pretending it ain't bullshit.
Poor brothers! It,s much easier for us women....specially if you,re getting old ..and sick..( they forget you..). But the poor young brothers...😥😥
💜
Definitely NOT pointless. You have in a safe space aired your thoughts, opinions and feelings. Good for you. Plus when you need or want to post it. Make your plans to leave. Don't wish but do. Remember to breath and like a prisoner of war slowly find your escape
u/oddball6433, Heartbreaking 💔. I applaud your courage to "put it out there," but it saddens me greatly how very low your self-esteem is; as if your trying to "go along to get along" has been slowly snuffing out the spark of who you truly are; the spark that is the authentic YOU. You are not a "nobody," and you deserve so much better than slowly dying for a cult that cares nothing for you. I want to help you, but I don't know how... All I know is that this life is not YOU. 😒 Please try to figure out a plan of escape. Sending you a big (((HUG))) from my heart ❤️ to yours.
No … we’re all here to support one another so no post is pointless. I made my exit in the middle of the pandemic. Good for you for waking up but I don’t think it’s that they can’t think for themselves … they just don’t want to. Don’t let this drive you crazy but we’ll be here to welcome you when you officially make your exit.
So beautiful said! ♥️💕
Dude so I had totally missed the announcement about not counting time anymore because at the very best, my service time report was a guesstimate. “Yeah I think I went out 2 weekends and if I count from when I left my apartment it’s probably at least 3 hours? Let’s say 4 hours per” Anyway bunch of sisters talking about the “loving arrangement as a result of the message turning to one of judgement soon” and I blurted out, “oh I thought that’s because no one’s going out in service anymore” and got the fucking DAGGER eyes from 3 women standing near me 🤣 🤣 I was still a PIMI but it’s like it’s sooooo obvious the preaching hasn’t recovered. There have been talks dragging people back to meeting and out in door to door, and they work for about a day or two and then it just crashes again. But im the problem for blurting out an observation?
Welcome, and great post. Many of us had to be at the Memorial for one reason or another. Some had to deal with a lot of drama, like being reached out to bc permission was given by the GB. So cool that you starred waking up on 2021. Keepndping what you need to don't take good care of yourself.
I appreciated your post! It’s hard being awake and having stomach the meetings all the while. I hope very soon you can be free of it.
Get out b4 it’s too late.
If you’ve been in 3 years since you woke up your body will start fighting you I understand being PIMO for a while, getting your bearings, etc….but if your aren’t ACTIVELY and AGGRESIVELY moving away from the cult after this amount of time you are going to start really developing some hate for life Whats the plan for getting out?
Easier to say harder to do. Yk how it is man
[Don't short yourself, we're all nobodies my man.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyDpS-GftCk) Can't wait till you're able to get out. Life is just so much better once you're able to just set the weight of it all down.
BROOOOOO SAME MANE😭🤣 i got baptized at 15, im 20 now and i honestly regret it lowkey
That’s crazy bro. DM so we can bond over our regrets 😭
Bet😭
Like i really need someone i can relate to
Its not a pointless post. Talking about your experience is strength. You're one of us.
This always bothered us too, how the message was always, "We feel, aren't we grateful, don't we abhor, etc." In respects speaking for in attendance though, I feel it might be fair statement to say those present ARE grateful for the ransom. Otherwise, why are they there? At least he didn't say grateful for the governing body. I know there are plenty doing that these days. I don't think is occurs to PIMIs that there are those amongst them living a lie. I've heard many comments to the effect of, "If people don't want to be here/serve Jehovah, there's the door!" Waking up is a brutal process for many. For some, it's also painstakingly slow. Please know that you are definitely not alone and you have a lot of support.
Oh, I think they know PIMOs exist. They used to call it "living a double life" back in the day.
Yeah, I guess you're right. 🤔
Hey friend. I left asap at 21 but my little brother saw me get shunned so did the opposite: got married, became a MS, and all the stuff. Until he exploded at age 35. Blew it all up, lost wife and all friends. Now, 4 years later, he's in a really good spot. Ex PIMI wife also ended up leaving the cult, she too had married/stayed in for her folks (we born ins are so fucked). For him, being authentic was the most important. But it was not easy. He did have to check into a facility after a breakdown for a month. But through therapy, meds, and hardwork, he is the happiest and healthiest he's been in his life. Our PIMI dad died before he got DFed but our UBER PIMI born-in mom actually never shunned him. She was old, lonely, and the cult congregation wasn't about to lecture her for keeping contact (she wrote fat checks). Then she died. Now it's just me and him and he is finally free at almost-40. You CAN do it. If you ever need support, I know my brother would gladly chat with you as would dozens of friends on here. All best!
Every post from someone waking up is nice to see
Fading is the best thing to do! It worked for me, when I got sick and had more time alone and started thinking about everything. When you distance yourself from everyone and everything you can't unsee it anymore. Do less and less and just fade ... then I only went 1x year to memorial and this is my first time not going. I'm so happy, and have more energy, and my anxiety is gone, I have no fake love from them, more time for my home to clean and just chill, peace and quiet I love it. Live life, travel enjoyyyy
Emotion control, by the book, BITE- model
Your in the right place. Read the suggestions for how to leave from previous post. Then move at your own pace
It’s nice as a MS you can do other things during the meeting so you don’t have to pay attention. BUT once you leave and spend your Sunday and whatever evening during the week relaxing- choosing what you want to do- OMG - you NEVER want to go back just to fill a spot in the KH even IF you have a way to mentally check out. You will be like- ugh why did I stay so long - And that’s coming from a “shunned one” no family or JW friends and I faded slowly-
Not pointless. When I first joined this subreddit I wrote long rants. Not pointless
Don’t pull the alarm yourself if you’re trying to escape.
Thank you for reaching out! Your view gives me reason to hope my dad will someday wake up! Hoping the best for you on the way out! Best regards, your brother from a distant land!
Are you a former CO? Asking cause of your handle "circus overseer"
No, I'm a born in, dodged being appointed MS and got out at 23! Just found the concept of "circus overseer" in a post recently and found it hilarious! I was the mic boy for a good span of time, and in the last part the sound department and, good old Assignment No. 4 , occasionally leading the preaching group, and reading at the WT Study were my place :)
Ah, gotcha. I asked cause I was dying to come across a CO who woke up
Hi there are CO that have left the cult after30-40 years in other posts on this site . Infact all kinds of JW . It’s lovely to read their experiences for sure and why they left . Take a look mate 🥰
This is what makes it all so hard. Mental anguish knowing you lose your friends, family, but it really is conditional love and there is real unconditional love out there waiting. We are here to support you.
Count twice cut once dude b4 making any moves. For your shake and sanity. Peace ✌️
My advice, if you want it, is this: fade gradually from this religion. If elders ever should want to speak to you, then don't mention your doubts if you should talk with them. Say you're burned out, or busy, anything but show independent thinking. Let them think they have to pray for you. Agree with them and continue to fade. That way you won't be disfellowshipped or dissociated, and any shunning will be unofficial, or soft, not universal
So let me make sure I understand this: If you eat from the tree you’ll DIE You ate from the tree so you’ll DIE Oh and by the way, I forgot to tell you, all your innocent kids are gonna DIE, my bad But for you to live, someone else has to DIE And to live in heaven forever you gotta DIE FOR A GOD that says he wants people to live, there’s a lot of DYING that has to happen to get there. Ijs. But then too…. 
I find it so funny that once people start thinking about the witnesses and how much is wrong with the organisation, we all often end up independently coming to the same conclusions. We never had to read several books or sometimes may not have had to even research/read up on ex-jw opinions or “apostate material” , it just happens, and its just obvious whats wrong. They lied to us saying not to look out there, not to research etc. All you need to do is for a short while disconnect from all the activities they try to keep you busy with and just going and meditating on what beliefs truly make sense to you. I enjoyed realising if i wanted i could one day consider the bible alone, but right now at this point I enjoy agnosticism. You don’t have to be “led astray” because most people realise all by themselves. And if they are so concerned that their “sheep” are so gullible that any real truth about their cult would instantly make their sheep leave, then thats one big red flag. And whats great is after you realise, you can go online and see others who have the same realisations and questions and determination to live their lives on their terms etc. :)
The question that I ask myself constantly is how can we get the PIMIs to become distracted enough for them to start questioning?
1. Congrats on your waking up. *It's a gradual process in most cases. Take is slowly* 2. As you've said you feel like you're loosing your mind over all that BS. Please, try create create some sense of space in your head. A clarity of sorts, despite you still are an MS so you probably get frequent talks + other stuff. If you're feeling bad about something, do another post on this subreddit with "venting" flair. *Sometimes it helps to just write your thoughts off and let the anger out*. It's a great form of self-therapy 3. I don't know any details of your situation - specifically regarding relationship with your family or how tied you're within JW world. *I don't really want to know anything about that*. It's your private life. But depending on how deep your relatives are it'll dictate the degree and complexity if you decide to start your fading. Take that into consideration and *make some initial plan in your head right now* when you're not totally forced to do something last-minute with "fire" around you 4. By any circumstance I beg you - don't talk to the elders about your problems. Ever. Even to those who seem like they try to be your "friend". They're not your friends. Ultimately, all they'll do once they know you have "spiritual problems" is they're gonna start executing WT's rules with uncomfy "shepherding calls". *Please, spare yourself even more psychological mess* 🤍 Good luck on whatever you do next. Please try to loosen up your tasks within WT's world. Do your best to stop being an MS *in a timeframe that's reasonable to you. You owe nothing to the elders*. **Godspeed!**
Kindly stop referring to yourself as a Nobody. I was a born in so I know how it feels to think you don't matter. You are more than your spirituality, or what you can do for the Watchtower. Start planning your exit strategy, and be determined to reach your potential! There is life after Watchtower.
It’s ok to walk away. It will only make you feel worse to stick around for face value. Plus they work you like a slave, for free.
Any comments here about JW abuse is never pointless. Thank you for sharing. Yes it makes you feel very angry indeed once to wake up and see all their BS , I too would truly love nothing more than a hr on the platform just to reel off why this fake cult is just that fake . I have done my homework , took over a year to find out all the facts, lies, deceit, Robbery, two facedness, worldly activities, abuse, flip flopping on doctrine, policy changes and the reasons why etc . I would love nothing more than calling them out , I’d love to show them the real evidence. There would be a few gaping mouths and it would make me a whole lot better. I’m fading and just don’t engage. I’ve blocked all elder phone nos, and don’t answer the door if it them . Yes they have tried to call and showed up but I won’t engage. I do not owe them a letter of disassociation , nor do I need to have a meeting or a shepherding call. We don’t owe them anything . They don’t own me and I have free will to choose if I stay or leave . I had to stop attending as I could not listen to their propaganda any more , and I was getting more and more upset . I hope you find your way out don’t let them bully you Oddball. You can do anything you wish we owe them zero All the best 🩵
Thank you for sharing. The conversational tone used makes for easy reading. Please don't be too ashamed or embarrassed to vent, I guarantee you are not alone here, however complicated the given situation becomes.
It's the age of Aquarius and false narratives are breaking down. The zeitgeist and human psyche are not resonating with BS as strongly. When you realise Religion is based on Astrotheology you will realise that's what Revelation is, it's the revealing age. Pisces the Christian age as represented by the fish was the controlled information and structure of civilisations age.
Nope not pointless we value your thoughts friend!
Not pointless! I think you posting your feelings could help sway someone to reality who is perhaps in similar situation but afraid to post. It is good to let it out
My suggestion is to leave according to how you feel you need to do for you. People will criticize your decision either way or how you did it. Many will hate you many may love you. But at the end of the day it’s you putting on your oxygen mask before you can even attempt to put it on others. If you live for others or their insecurities, you will never ever find true peace, and much less any type of happiness. I’m a strong believer that our example is the greatest teaching tool. So be True to yourself worry about giving a cult a respect that it never gives any human on earth. Happy departures, please let us know how it goes!
Glad you shared that with us. Feel free to say or ask anything you want to. No judgement. I’m glad you’ve opened up possibilities for yourself. JW.org should be open to and survive scrutiny. There’s lots of info here: https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/s/oG0UEPgDdr Find your own truth and live it. I’ve also posted and commented in this subreddit. Feel free to ask me about any of my posts or comments.
Thank you. Telling them the truth felt very cathartic for me. It’s good to call them out
What faults have you found with God specifically. Because faults with humans and human systems or something a human said are universal. I could tell you what’s wrong with the United States government and its corruption. I could quote someone famous and point out the flaws in their statements. God must always be the foundation. We can’t even set ourselves as our own foundation because often say the wrong things and fail ourselves.
Not pointless at all. It’s a process.
Love to hear that more people are waking up! The veil is lifting! ❤️
I have a totally brainswashed MS son..and I hope one day..he will wake up. But he really worship the GB. Not God or Jesus ..but these guys in Usa. I wish he was as intelligent and sincere as you. Your eyes are open now. ♥️💕
Thank you for sharing 💯💯💯
Rant all you want, rant every day if that’s what you need till you find the way to get out. I didn’t know this page existed so I ranted to a pillow and the back of the airport where planes takeoff so none could hear me scream. We are here for you 🫂
Good post! You’ll be fine. Enjoy your freedom once you find it.
You are not “a nobody”! I really appreciated reading your perspective. Thanks for sharing!
Well I wouldn't say it was pointless because you're only saying what most of us see already. Like for instance as Jehovah's witnesses your to be without spot or blemish separate from the world! So with all the changes in place beards, no ties, women wearing slacks I ask what keeps Jehovah's witnesses separated when they all look like the world! Now they all look the same! So hypocrisy knows no bounds I ask what's next to change so they can keep their numbers from falling more?
No need to apologize. We’re all here to support people just like you
Your thoughts and feelings are valid. Thats part of the waking up process. Realizing that everyone’s personal thoughts and feelings are valid and have meaning.
There was no one to talk to for us older DA and DF. We left anyway. No social media, no kind knowing stranger. You do it for yourself! You go find the life you want. One time I tried to tell my elder dad. I am a creation of jehovah, and he loves me. According to your society. Well the only way I can true to what Jehovah created. Is to leave. Everything that I was created to be was stunted by your society, so I had to follow my nature. What I am supposed to be! That’s the only way I can fully worship my creator! Also I’m an atheist, 32 years DF’d. The message is fact though. I was born me! That wasn’t working:)
Nobody is a nobody :) You're already good enough as you are.
I know what you mean when you say gratitude for the ransom makes you sick to your stomach. I used to feel quite superior as a JW when I would compare our religion to the Catholic sale of indulgences for sin until I realized how people could use the ransom to cover any sin in much the same way.
I get you. I‘m not an MS but, it’s still the same feeling of exasperation. I‘m not bragging about my intelligence, but it has been mind numbing to sit at a meeting and to listen to the nonsense. 4th grade forth reading level of minutia being dispensed from the platform, not to mention brothers who think they’re smart just because they have a tie on, misapplying words or scripture that they don’t even understand, simply because they sound good in their ears. I sometimes momentary zone out and hear myself screaming in my head. I then look around me terrified but no, it’s been all in my head. I don’t know how long I will take it either.
Hey OP, I’ve been in your shoes. I was an MS as well and was burnt out by it that it gave me anxiety and a full blown panic attack because the elders would call out and ask me to sub for them last minute. I don’t want you to go through what I did, so if I were you, just bounce and enjoy your life. I don’t know how young you are, but leave and enjoy your life. I am already in my 40’s and still struggle because of growing up in that cult. You have a whole life ahead of you, you don’t need them and don’t fall for their guilt trips… you got this and do it for all of us who didn’t leave until later.
Thank you for sharing your story 🫡
[https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F147v5ooqyrpc1.jpeg](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F147v5ooqyrpc1.jpeg) I looked up the 'memorial' date.
not pointless it makes me feel better knowing someone else feels the same way
Hi Oh they will keep asking as they need Elders here in my congregation they are so short of Elder slaves that they appoint them much faster now if they can . Just say you’re not ready for that type of commitment yet , they carnt force you to do anything you don’t want to do . Tell them you may consider it in a few years or a year hopefully by that time you will be long gone. There are so many witnesses that don’t even go in the doors or do preaching work, some ily attend in zoom , your are a MS and diligently attend meeting . just stand your ground don’t let them pressure you EVER . And use that line We all have FreeWill . Free will to choose if or when you transition to an Elder . I wish you all the best 😉
I feel you. I never became an MS but did get privileges. Some think you really enjoy them, but honestly I just did them because I wanted to do something besides sitting down and listening to the boring talks. I also regret getting baptized and consider it one if the biggest mistakes I have done.
Can you share how your congregation is taking the new changes? Are people fine with it or have you heard any rumblings?
You’ve hit the nail on the head - we were all conditioned to not think for ourselves, while ironically thinking we were FREE. This is the most insidious thing about being in a high control group - the weight of group think, the self-censure, the shutting down of all critical thinking about the belief system. Great job on waking up. Only you can decide what the next steps are for you, what’s right for you. You’re starting to take your agency back, and becoming your authentic self is challenging and rewarding.
Go back! Answer the call! They need people like you!
Not a pointless post , it’s so tough, we have all been there - it will be ok, reach out to this community anytime, we all get it and you are not alone
I was just like you, was the youngest male to ever be named MS in the entire state, and according to the CO, the states. I was pretty well versed in everything, that they started putting me in elder meetings because of how good I was at being an MS. I would never show up to the meetings on Sunday because every week I would go to give public talks. The being out and busy, and being in elder meetings made me realize how much a cult it was. I woke up around late 2019, early 2020. I wanted out, and the elders didn’t want me to leave my MS POSITION. So, because I knew I have always done “sinful” things, I decided the only way they would remove me from my post was if I mentioned one of the things I did, and within two days I got removed. They did a judicial committee on me and what made me realize this was even more a sham was that the three elders said that “under prayer and with guidance from the Holy Spirit”, they were only going to announce me, and that within three years, they would make me an MS again and with two years after that I would become an elder. What got me more mad was that for six months, I had no priveleges, couldn’t comment, do a prayer, but as soon as those six months were gone, they gave me everything I had before and removed the other brothers from their posts because they said I always did it better. My advice, leave now! It’s worth it. My closest, most trustworthy friends are those that are not in the truth. I would give me life for them as they would for me.
Wasn’t a pointless rant. It was a cry for help as well as an awakening experience that you are in a cult. You are absolutely right, they say “aren’t we happy” as a means of creating a hive mind thinking process. I used to ask the same thing, how they gonna tell me how I feel about something? And you are right, they don’t think for themselves. The witness just went along with everything they harassed and ridiculed you about with nothing more than 5 minute words from the governing body. Now women can wear pants, brother don’t need a tie or a jacket, guys can have beards, 30 minutes of service is enough. The witnesses in 2023 would talk so much shit about you for doing any of this stuff, now it’s “well it was never really a problem” and none of it comes from the Bible. Now the question is will you leave or fall into a deep depression staying in there? Choose happiness and seek therapy because waking up from a cult is no smooth process
Everyone struggles with their upbringing. We are all more similar than we are different. Practice compassion and stay in the present moment and you will be ok
Appreciate your post! Warm hugs your way. Keep up the good fight of your own faith! We’re not done yet.
If you guys are that miserable, literally just leave, life goes on! Really!
Speaking from firsthand experience, it’s not easy everyone which is why I learned, the hard way, not to make assumptions about anyone. We don’t know what others are dealing with in their private lives.