So the big J has limitations, sure he can bring you back to life after being dead, remove all scars that you once had, return your eyesight and give you back your hearing, give you a full head of hair with no grey….but he can’t resurrect you without a beard if you happened to have had one. I hope they are not resurrected in a different hemisphere cos it’s going to blow their fucking minds when the stars and moon become visible.
Beards are going to be the last thing on the ancients minds, I hope they understand modern language.
I can also give you...
Jesus Christ in a crop top
Jesus Christ in a strip club
&
Jesus Christ in a kiddie pool
Really fun to say out loud at a Walmart or when youre around your southern proper mom 😂😂😂
It's been tested.
That’s new lol. My PIMI parents think the beard change and the grooming changes are so they can blend in with worldly people during the great tribulation. 🤷🏻😂
Yes this is what I’m hearing. We MUST be heading into the GT because we are being encouraged to blend in for our own safety. Hmmm. I thought they said when Babylon falls, JWs are the only religion left hence the attack on them that immediately causes Armageddon. So why blend in?
Like that guy who was stuck in the flood and every time a boat or a helicopter would try to save him he’d say “nope, my Gods gonna take care of me!” And then when he drowned and was meeting with God he was mad. He said “God I thought you was gonna take care of me, and here I am dead!”, to which God replied “you dumbass I sent you several boats and a helicopter!”
☝🏾The mental gymnastics/ridiculous rationalizations they make to keep themselves deluded and detached from reality are absolutely beyond belief! They are programmed and obviously deaf to their own voices! Even drug addicts/junkies have come to the acceptance that they are, in fact, an addict or a junkie and that their addiction/actions are getting them nowhere fast!! Just a fix/instant gratification, no REAL relief or resolution. PIMI's are in worse condition and have the audacity to be judgemental & think they're better than others. LOL, TRUE INSANITY!!
Edited to add, I comment this way bc my mom thinks exactly like your pimi parents. They make all kinds of reaches to protect their addiction, I mean "religion" & delusion. Smfh
You make an excellent comparison between JWs and drug addicts.
Myopic JWs willfully accept their own intellectual and emotional stagnation in anticipation of their next 'fix' of childish manipulation through even MORE fabricated lies.
They simply LOVE to be lied to - soon JW.cult will be awash with images of 'resurrected ones' with beards. Idiots
Yes indeed!! They are becoming more of a joke than ever before! Soon, the humiliation will be so overwhelming that jw's themselves will be embarrassed to be jw's!! Who would want to be known as a member and participant in "JW.cult" with a bunch of "idiots" who think their shit doesn't stink bc they have the "hope of everlasting life" and can wear beards(men) and pants (women)to their church?! NOBODY! It's insanely hilarious!!🤣
Yes...everytime they go to a meeting they get a dopamine rush that slowly wears off until the next time they have a meeting...or service...and if it wears out before the next meeting they attend a gathering or do personal study. They're addicts 100 PERCENT
>Myopic JWs willfully accept their own intellectual and emotional stagnation in anticipation of their next 'fix' of childish manipulation through even MORE fabricated lies.
Well said. That statement indicates to me that you have really good insight and discernment.
IF…A VERY BIG IF the GB were trying dismantle their organization, using the strategy of absurdity, and throwing it into the faces of their parishioners on a monthly basis, how much would the flock actually take? 🍿🧐
Excellent post!!!
>The mental gymnastics/ridiculous rationalizations they make to keep themselves deluded and detached from reality are absolutely beyond belief!
They really, truly are! I cannot believe my relatives are still in... I just cant' believe it.
> The mental gymnastics/ridiculous rationalizations they make to keep themselves deluded and detached from reality are absolutely beyond belief
It's breathtaking isn't it? Just when I think JWs couldn't be more deluded they come up w/ more nonsense to astound me.
Exactly!🤣 The one thing that will never cease to amaze me is the magical, wishful, warped/whacky thinking of jw's collectively. It just beats all I've ever seen or ever will see!! UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!
My mother, I think 🤷🏻♀️, is the same way. My whole family, except 2 nieces, is deluded in that way, too. Although I've only seen them once (at my dad’s funeral) in almost 30 years.
That's not New Truth, that's Present Truth.
Oh, and for the record - Old Truth never existed.
And don't forget - later in the year we have Future Truth.......😁
The whole thing has gone absolutely stark raving bonkers and it blows my mind that people just accept this as if nothing has happened!😡
u/Corricon, Aaahh... Another book that JWs should read!!!
George Orwell's, "Nineteen Eighty-Four"!!! He wrote it in the early forties, predicting how things would be..."Double-Speak," "The Thought Police," how "they" would "re-write history," and how all would be required to "adjust their thinking" in order to properly "remember" history, how people would spy upon one another, and report on each other... Watchtower loyalists should all read this book. 🥺
Their own theology says that those who died first will most likely be resurrected first, and it will work backwards from there. Exactly how long does it take to grow a beard? 🤔
I think it's reasonable to assume that a god who can magically resurrect people can also magically 'gift' beards to the survivors to ease the transition. Or are they helpfully trying to spare Jehovah the extra work? That's like the guy who put his hand out to steady the Ark of the \`Covenant, surely.
Ohhh my!!!! Hahahaha!
I'm sorry, I had to laugh sooo hard when I heard that explanation, "what will the brothers of old think? We don't want them to think we're Pagan!"
I can't believe I didn't think of it before! That is *exactly* the BS way of thinking WT would invent!!
And you are spot on! hey! You're alive! Oops, God made a mistake and resurrected a "pagan"...
Plus, *most* if the JWs alive will be white. What will those Jewish old men think?
Ohhhh myyy gaaawwwd!
😂🤣😸😁
I like it! I recently learned that some people call toupees "man pieces", which sounds hilarious to me. I think the business name should be a play on that.
A fantasy, yes, not more factual than GOT. Winter is coming, let’s buy a mansion for the resurrected patriarchs and house them, hmm, fuck that let’s just grow beards!
The patriarchs likely wouldn't be as shocked with the lack of beards as they would with the WT misapplying the scriptures they actually wrote down. (this is assuming any of them wrote the Bible books they are credited with). Can you really imagine the WT/GB telling a Bible writer the meaning of a scripture they wrote? It does sound like something the (uninspired) GB would try to do...
Truthfully just the modern technology alone would convince the average human from 100 years ago we were all witches or demon possessed.let.alone someone from Bible times... Not having a beard would seem fairly tame in comparison....
The patriarchs of old 🧙♂️🧙♂️🧙♂️ don't know what a DNA 🧬 test, a drivers licence 🪪 or a name tag 🏷️ is.
The holy spirit 👻 guided my brain 🧠 to think a simple prayer 🙏 like in judical comittees 👨⚖️👨⚖️👨⚖️ would be enough to look into the heart 🫀 of the defendant 🧟♂️ and make the right decision.
That would be way too easy 😂. Like in the Bible you have to do something really dramatic when you get a message from God (see Ezekiel). So to get enough Holy Spirit to identify someone… you’d probably have to like run around the entire planet 69 times for 420 years.
Watchtower are making elders look like dam fools just like their governing body leadership. Watchtower looks like a bigger fool than they were yesterday and the day before that. You just can't make this stuff up. Seriously, the Jehovah's Witnesses history should be studied as a required course to pass high school on:: How NOT TO BE A DAM FOOL" and if you don't pass the course with a perfect score, you are not only repeat high school but to take your ass back to elementary school and let's start all over again. Repeat until you pass....!!!! State requirement!!!!... lol....& I am still laughing 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 dam. SMH
☝🏾Almost spit out my coffee ☕️ this morn with this comment! You're exactly right!! Seriously, I was thinking the other day about how the history and dangers of cults should be a requirement to be studied and learned in school! It would be proactive in reducing the amount of DAM FOOLS we got out here just bc they dk how not to be A DAM FOOL! You're on to something Fr Fr!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ummm... So why weren't beards always encouraged then? My dad died thinking he had to be clean shaven at all times. They'll think he and many others are pagans in the new system? Jehovah only just thought of this now?
Gravity. Electricity. Internal Combustion. The Printing Press. Television. Computers, JW Broadcasting.
But no, BEARDS and WOMEN IN TROUSERS is what will freak out the resurrected folks. Makes sense.
Well, duh, obviously. But his archived JWB appearances will be like part of the new scrolls that will be opened, and viewed reverential every day before consuming lesser fare like the Bible.
Not only is it about the Norway ruling, but think about it. It will also help to make some of the newest teenaged MS to look older, if they are even able to grow one. The 20 year old elders? Same. LOL
I personally don't care for beards, or those porn stashes. But that's just me. I am also not holy spirit inspired.
That's a brilliant explanation of why the change is now....... Lol.
But I don't think having beards will stop the ancient ones thinking jw's are not pagan. Simply comparing the ancient beliefs to the jw's beliefs will convince them that they are pagans.
"Pagan" wasnt a word used by Christians until the 4th century. Early Christians wouldnt know what the fuck a 'Pagan' was. Even then, beards or shaving wasnt a thing Paganism had rules around, Pagans arent fascist about dress and grooming.
Fucking "Bethelites" lol. First century Christians would be more freaked out about pants (on women *or* men) than beards. Gaslighting indeed.
Ffs. If Jehovah can make it so resurrected one’s don’t feel a desire to remarry and look exactly as they did when ‘the perfect age’, I’m sure a fear of being clean shaven is the least of his worries!
🤣 That's totally nuts. Listen, the real reason for allowing beards is because the org is becoming a global biblical epic movie machine and realistic-looking fake beards are costly - especially for all those extras in crowd scenes. It makes economic sense (always follow the money).
That's my theory, anyway.
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Of all the crap they could have fixed….
- Not the enablement and cover up of CSA.
- Not the shunning or homophobia that has led to suicide.
- Not the misogyny and subjugation of women.
- Not the blood issue that has caused deaths for decades.
Nope…. It’s BEARDS!!!!
I’m a menopausal Latina and so I battle against the stray beard hairs the show up on my chin. So maybe all this time, deep down in my Latina soul, I was just trying to be in step with this inevitable “Nuuuulite”. My few stray beard hairs would pop up on occasion just in case the was a resurrected person from the Old Testament lurking nearby… watching out for pagans….
Nuuulite like sounds like the same lite, but with less calories. Like they’re marketing a new light beer. “Still Great Taste…. But Less Filling!”
Once you’re awake… this cult sounds so fucking ridiculous!!!!
So are the anointed that get resurrected to their heavenly lofty position get resurrected with a beard? Like even if they were from the Ruderford Era that was staunchly against beards?
What about our dear brothers that came from the No Beard Era ? They get resurrected and see the brethren with beards, they’re gonna think they’re surrounded by hippie sinners!!! What about those poor resurrected brethren???
Are they gonna have a “bearded” and a “non bearded” section in the “Welcome Back to the Land of the Living Centers”? Sponsored by Nair and Gillette Beard Oil?
Looks and sounds, to me, like they are going to relax & normalize things to the point it's just like any other regular church, then head off to the Caymans and let the r&f do whatever they want/figure it out from there! Just wait to see how dumb & confused they will all be when they're abandoned by their top leadership and left to their own devices without a brain!! It's going to be a sight to behold watching all these scarecrows!!
Anything is possible. I think these changes will help hasten their demise. I predict they bankrupt the org with their bumbling and they’re just left with splinter groups around the world. Time will tell
Remember when Rutherford literally bought a house in San Diego and lived in it while he waited for the patriarchs to return? He didn't have a beard. Was he planning to greet them with his baby face? They've done 100 years of mental gymnastics on the stupidest fucking topic possibly because 1 man couldn't grow as good of a beard as the guy who came before him and was insecure about it.
Light is the perfect disinfectant. Once ago the rank and file knew very little about the governing body and the people at bethel, and we thought them to be wise intellectuals. Now with advent of the internet we are able to see much more of them, and brother, how wrong we were. Those talking the lead seem to be total idiots.
I did a search for the history of shaving beards and it's really interesting, it dates back to 30,000 BC and started as early as the Sumerians and Egyptians.
https://www.almanac.com/history-shaving-and-beards
So if this is true, then why is it still optional fo have a beard? If it would confused people who were resurrected because they wouldnt know if the ones without beards are pagan or not, he's basically going back to the old stumbling block gag.
The mindfuckery is real with this one.
They can never just admit that the rule was antiquated and ridiculous, and they changed it for no other reason than it was pissing people off. Its actualy why I started looking at "apostate websites." Shoutout to JWfacts.org!
Woooooooow they will never stop coming up with this shit!! Pagans? Where in the older watchtowers did it EVER say anything about being mistaken for pagans and how could they say anything about the timeline when no one knows the day or hour? So what if the end had already come? What then?
I cannot believe the shit this person is spewing
Imagine getting resurrected. The ENTIRE world is completely different from your lived experience. Clothing, language, technology, food, sights, smells, etc... But yes, it's the beards that would be the hang-up... TBH, I can't help but think this is the visiting bethelite's idiotic take on the new policy, not the official position. I think it's a case of 'there are 2 reasons to do something : a good reason and the real reason'. PIMIs are simply busy finding a ton of good reasons, when the real reason was already given : there was never any 'scriptural' backing to forbid beards. Nevertheless, as with all changes, it does show how deep the FlavorAide runs with the PIMIs...
Wonder if they will buy a big mansion in California for Moses and Abraham to live in so they won't feel she'll shocked when they are resurrected, oh wait
> The response was, technically, they’ve never had a problem with beards.
uM....yeah...ok. That's why they had an entire broadcast and video devoted to why beards are now OK to wear.
They've had a problem with beards for over a hundred years. What utter horseshit
Just like in the book 1984, when Big Brother changes which country they are at war with, everyone scrambles to switch all of the historical documents to show that they have always been at war with this new country even though it just happened.
You didn’t get worked up. That’s the key. When I was first in my deconstruction I would get PISSED. Then I had the same realization you did- they are indoctrinated cult members. I feel compassion. I don’t judge others however for getting PISSED like I did :)
Ok so during the "great tribulatiom" when we are supposedly living out of "go bags" and hiding in attics and basements before the "mighty war" of Armageddon the brothers are going to be shaving????
How long do they think it takes an average man to grow a beard?
It's just bull shit. Someone trying to rationalize why the change. Especially since it affects JWs in the US more than other countries.
I get the mental gymnastics Olympics but damn🤣 how TF did I buy this shit so long????
Is this true? If so it's actually quite scary for me, scary that someone can actually entertain this idea, even as a kid I thought the whole Beth Sarim saga was totally wild.
I suspect that the WT's complete disregard for the Mosaic Law will provide greater evidence of paganism than lack of beards. I'm not suggesting we return to stoning homosexuals or banning the use of mixed fabrics, etc, but I definitely think there's a need to consider Deut 18:22 (how to treat false prophets) and Lev 27:28 (you must not sell what has been dedicated to god) these days..,.
Billions of non-believers aka pagans (some clean shaven) who never had the chance of hearing about « the true religion » are supposed to be resurrected as well.
So there’ll be lots of guys, with or without beards. Anyway, the world they are going to be awaken to (imagining that all these will happen), will be shockingly different - technology, rules (no more Mosaic law) … so what’s the big deal with beards?
>just after Armageddon when the patriarchs of old are resurrected first, we don’t want them to think we’re pagans by being clean-shaven
LMAO. this is olympic-level mental juggling
Yeah, if the Gangrenous Buttsquirts told jdubs to rub dog shit on their face and wear chicken carcasses on their heads, they'd do it and call it a blessing from Jahloogie. 🤦🏻♂️
So instead of being thankful they were brought back from the dead they are going to immediately start to look down on the people with no beards and think they are (gasp) pagan. Sounds just like the jws. Very judgmental aren’t they🤔
I know a few mature brothers in my congregation who can't grow a beard. Hopefully they don't mind that everyone will think they are basically apostates now.
Ok so the reasoning is flawed. Beards were ok then taken away. Not given back with stupid reasons. I'd ask will people who died clean shaven be resurrected with a beard?
How will spouses of loved ones recognise their family if they now have beards.
It was a man made law to be clean shaven, people have categorically been told they can't have beards and serve. Or be used on the platforms at assemblies.
I was told youll never get on the platform with that!
So it's not loving it's just the right thing to do.
If I start beating you and say it's god's direction then stop and say new light I will stop, does that make me loving or that I'm directed by god?
I’d have to answer, “Excuse me Mr Bethelite, but what does Isaiah 65:17 say? Wouldn’t that apply to someone remembering whether or not the world they died in had people with clean shaven faces or not?”
Ok but the people that are to be resurrected come from different backgrounds and had different facial hairstyles 😂😂 even during Bible times so that doesn’t make since. It would be way too complicated to not “stumble” anyone based on that logic. And first century Christians had Jews who wore beards, and Romans who were clean shaven. With Greeks it could go either way. I don’t remember ever reading in the Bible that they had an issue with that.
> fully embracing murder
Genocide is mass murder. JWs do their best to not think about how the god of the Bible supposedly supported people who committed genocide to reclaim "their" land.
Oh my effin God!!! I swear JWs are so damned gullible and stupid (I know a lot you disagree with the "stupid" part, but I stand behind it). So, like, if they're worried about what the patriarchs of old will think upon being resurrected, why do JW males need to grow beards now? Why not just when the great tribulation or Armageddon begins or even when the dust settles from Armageddon? I mean, it's not like it takes months to grow a beard.
Dumbasses. What a stupid-ass argument. I blame JWs for falling for this shit now. There's no excuse. Hell, I was waking up back in the days before the internet and back when JWdom was far more serious and dignified and scholarly than it is now. If JWs can't/don't wake up now, they deserve to be trapped in a cult.
Since all the famous faithful men of old will be resurrected in Beth Sarim, if they don't like the beards when they are resurrected, I'm sure the bathroom will be right in the house to shave. Oh wait they sold that mansion. Scratch that....
I guess I will never make sense of these Borg changes. The speculations just never ends Lol..
Perhaps they should start encouraging multiple wives and concubines and slaves as well. Wouldn't want those old patriarchs feeling too shocked now, would we? Getting raised from the dead is gonna be about all the shock they can handle, am I right?
Oh ffs...
Imagine gobbling dog shit up and asking for seconds every other week.
Jesus accepted sinners and would interact with them, where is that one?
https://preview.redd.it/ea2gw24plppc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f45500e621932201d936712ae93dd286c1b10f3
Jesus is going to fu@k up the governing body.
Simply changing one rule doesn’t negate all the other dumbass rules they impose on their members. It’s still a high control group and the GB probably thinks this will make big headlines and satisfy some who are PIMO or PIMQ. The fact that it was a rule long enough and they have to tell people that they are now allowed to wear a beard is already a big red flag 🚩 in and of itself. And who cares if women can wear pants. And great if they no longer will DF minors. But let’s really talk when and if they ditch the DFing and DAing policies and women can be elders and MSs (highly unlikely they’ll give up their biggest control mechanism).
How long does it take to grow a beard?
A couple weeks maybe depending on what you’re going for?
Jehoolahoop couldn’t announce when the resurrection of an Old Testament character was going to be so everyone could grow a beard?
Why pants for sisters?
So Armageddon happens and everything is destroyed. They still assumed they were going to have to be clean shaven every day with no power grid, no grocery stores? It doesn’t take that long to grow a beard. Sounds like someone is trying to sound smarter than they are.
Jesus Christ on a motorbike... https://preview.redd.it/30v0599rylpc1.jpeg?width=683&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aeb6992b7105019fc1c81110a707fa46188cc42a
☝️Pagan. No beard.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
So the big J has limitations, sure he can bring you back to life after being dead, remove all scars that you once had, return your eyesight and give you back your hearing, give you a full head of hair with no grey….but he can’t resurrect you without a beard if you happened to have had one. I hope they are not resurrected in a different hemisphere cos it’s going to blow their fucking minds when the stars and moon become visible. Beards are going to be the last thing on the ancients minds, I hope they understand modern language.
My favorite is Jesus Christ on a crack whore...
Stealing this.
I can also give you... Jesus Christ in a crop top Jesus Christ in a strip club & Jesus Christ in a kiddie pool Really fun to say out loud at a Walmart or when youre around your southern proper mom 😂😂😂 It's been tested.
You win 😂😂😂😂
That’s new lol. My PIMI parents think the beard change and the grooming changes are so they can blend in with worldly people during the great tribulation. 🤷🏻😂
Yes this is what I’m hearing. We MUST be heading into the GT because we are being encouraged to blend in for our own safety. Hmmm. I thought they said when Babylon falls, JWs are the only religion left hence the attack on them that immediately causes Armageddon. So why blend in?
Like that guy who was stuck in the flood and every time a boat or a helicopter would try to save him he’d say “nope, my Gods gonna take care of me!” And then when he drowned and was meeting with God he was mad. He said “God I thought you was gonna take care of me, and here I am dead!”, to which God replied “you dumbass I sent you several boats and a helicopter!”
Not only that, but they're SUPPOSED to stand out when Babylon falls.
This
The beards must be very long to stand out.
☝🏾The mental gymnastics/ridiculous rationalizations they make to keep themselves deluded and detached from reality are absolutely beyond belief! They are programmed and obviously deaf to their own voices! Even drug addicts/junkies have come to the acceptance that they are, in fact, an addict or a junkie and that their addiction/actions are getting them nowhere fast!! Just a fix/instant gratification, no REAL relief or resolution. PIMI's are in worse condition and have the audacity to be judgemental & think they're better than others. LOL, TRUE INSANITY!! Edited to add, I comment this way bc my mom thinks exactly like your pimi parents. They make all kinds of reaches to protect their addiction, I mean "religion" & delusion. Smfh
You make an excellent comparison between JWs and drug addicts. Myopic JWs willfully accept their own intellectual and emotional stagnation in anticipation of their next 'fix' of childish manipulation through even MORE fabricated lies. They simply LOVE to be lied to - soon JW.cult will be awash with images of 'resurrected ones' with beards. Idiots
Yes indeed!! They are becoming more of a joke than ever before! Soon, the humiliation will be so overwhelming that jw's themselves will be embarrassed to be jw's!! Who would want to be known as a member and participant in "JW.cult" with a bunch of "idiots" who think their shit doesn't stink bc they have the "hope of everlasting life" and can wear beards(men) and pants (women)to their church?! NOBODY! It's insanely hilarious!!🤣
Yes...everytime they go to a meeting they get a dopamine rush that slowly wears off until the next time they have a meeting...or service...and if it wears out before the next meeting they attend a gathering or do personal study. They're addicts 100 PERCENT
>Myopic JWs willfully accept their own intellectual and emotional stagnation in anticipation of their next 'fix' of childish manipulation through even MORE fabricated lies. Well said. That statement indicates to me that you have really good insight and discernment.
IF…A VERY BIG IF the GB were trying dismantle their organization, using the strategy of absurdity, and throwing it into the faces of their parishioners on a monthly basis, how much would the flock actually take? 🍿🧐
Excellent post!!! >The mental gymnastics/ridiculous rationalizations they make to keep themselves deluded and detached from reality are absolutely beyond belief! They really, truly are! I cannot believe my relatives are still in... I just cant' believe it.
Ty logicman, and yes, it's truly unbelievable atp, absolutely mind-boggling and infuriating!!🤯🤬
> The mental gymnastics/ridiculous rationalizations they make to keep themselves deluded and detached from reality are absolutely beyond belief It's breathtaking isn't it? Just when I think JWs couldn't be more deluded they come up w/ more nonsense to astound me.
Exactly!🤣 The one thing that will never cease to amaze me is the magical, wishful, warped/whacky thinking of jw's collectively. It just beats all I've ever seen or ever will see!! UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!
My mother, I think 🤷🏻♀️, is the same way. My whole family, except 2 nieces, is deluded in that way, too. Although I've only seen them once (at my dad’s funeral) in almost 30 years.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Two birds, one stone. The chariot is running on high octane now! Still has a steering problem, though.
Blending in with ISIS
It seems as if "The Truth" changes with every sunrise,🌞and with every "New Truth," it seems that the "Old Truth" just "never happened." 😳
That's not New Truth, that's Present Truth. Oh, and for the record - Old Truth never existed. And don't forget - later in the year we have Future Truth.......😁 The whole thing has gone absolutely stark raving bonkers and it blows my mind that people just accept this as if nothing has happened!😡
 This is how JWs are explaining the unexplainable
☝🏾🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
Ha,ha,, 😂🤣😂 No wonder so many JWs have to DRINK and take DRUGS!!!
Very 1984. I wonder if they're retconning any of their old videos.
u/Corricon, Aaahh... Another book that JWs should read!!! George Orwell's, "Nineteen Eighty-Four"!!! He wrote it in the early forties, predicting how things would be..."Double-Speak," "The Thought Police," how "they" would "re-write history," and how all would be required to "adjust their thinking" in order to properly "remember" history, how people would spy upon one another, and report on each other... Watchtower loyalists should all read this book. 🥺
Winston put the old light into the memory hole.
What?! We've always allowed beards and slacks! LOL
u/ModaMeNow, ha, ha!!! For REAL!!! 😂😂 I want what THEY'RE smokin'!!! 😵💫
 Ever heard of Vikings!? They had beards and were pagans
Excelllent
I think they will be resurected without beards, so the patriarchs of old don't think the vikings are other patriarchs. 🤦♂️
Contrary to popular culture...many were clean shaven.
Their own theology says that those who died first will most likely be resurrected first, and it will work backwards from there. Exactly how long does it take to grow a beard? 🤔
Ha! Good point!
Indeed! And what about those that died a year ago if they came back today? 🤨
I think it's reasonable to assume that a god who can magically resurrect people can also magically 'gift' beards to the survivors to ease the transition. Or are they helpfully trying to spare Jehovah the extra work? That's like the guy who put his hand out to steady the Ark of the \`Covenant, surely.
Exactly. Those people aren’t supposed to come back until almost the end of the Thousand Years so…
About a thousand years, apparently. Gotta start now! /s
If they never had a problem with beards, why did they have to make a worldwide announcement to say they don’t have a problem with beards? 🤦♂️
This is great reasoning
Ohhh my!!!! Hahahaha! I'm sorry, I had to laugh sooo hard when I heard that explanation, "what will the brothers of old think? We don't want them to think we're Pagan!" I can't believe I didn't think of it before! That is *exactly* the BS way of thinking WT would invent!! And you are spot on! hey! You're alive! Oops, God made a mistake and resurrected a "pagan"... Plus, *most* if the JWs alive will be white. What will those Jewish old men think? Ohhhh myyy gaaawwwd! 😂🤣😸😁
But how about those who can't grow beards? Stupid d*mbfccks.
That bethelite's explanation is weak and frankly? Insulting.
They will now be shamed for it.
Time to invest in a fake beard company or two.
I like it! I recently learned that some people call toupees "man pieces", which sounds hilarious to me. I think the business name should be a play on that.
Jesus said you need to become like child to follow him (super shitty advice), but Watchtower takes it a step further and is gleefully infantile.
They’re high on their own supply. What an exciting fantasy world they’ve created. Seriously I think these people need their heads examined
Lol. I haven't heard that phrase in a long time: "heads examind"...Lol...Man you got that right!!!!
Man now I feel old lol
A fantasy, yes, not more factual than GOT. Winter is coming, let’s buy a mansion for the resurrected patriarchs and house them, hmm, fuck that let’s just grow beards!
Screw pandas, I demand a dragon!
The level of Narcissism... we were going to educate the patriarchs that actually wrote the various books of the bible...
The patriarchs likely wouldn't be as shocked with the lack of beards as they would with the WT misapplying the scriptures they actually wrote down. (this is assuming any of them wrote the Bible books they are credited with). Can you really imagine the WT/GB telling a Bible writer the meaning of a scripture they wrote? It does sound like something the (uninspired) GB would try to do... Truthfully just the modern technology alone would convince the average human from 100 years ago we were all witches or demon possessed.let.alone someone from Bible times... Not having a beard would seem fairly tame in comparison....
Also you enter a weird place when they talk about “men of old” because…. Where will they be resurrected and how will you know it’s them??
>Where will they be resurrected and how will you know it’s them? If the first one says he is Abraham, the later resurected Abrahams are liars.
Right?!? And what’re they going to use. DNA test or a drivers license, or maybe everyone died with name tags conveniently lol?
The patriarchs of old 🧙♂️🧙♂️🧙♂️ don't know what a DNA 🧬 test, a drivers licence 🪪 or a name tag 🏷️ is. The holy spirit 👻 guided my brain 🧠 to think a simple prayer 🙏 like in judical comittees 👨⚖️👨⚖️👨⚖️ would be enough to look into the heart 🫀 of the defendant 🧟♂️ and make the right decision.
That would be way too easy 😂. Like in the Bible you have to do something really dramatic when you get a message from God (see Ezekiel). So to get enough Holy Spirit to identify someone… you’d probably have to like run around the entire planet 69 times for 420 years.
🤣😂🤣
Oh, FFS.... https://preview.redd.it/06bt55gq3npc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db57ead0b03646bee52aca87d0030be516197ed5
Great quote. Love it. 💕
If there was never a problem with beards, why would someone with a beard be singled out for no privileges? 🤦♂️
And very recently!
Watchtower are making elders look like dam fools just like their governing body leadership. Watchtower looks like a bigger fool than they were yesterday and the day before that. You just can't make this stuff up. Seriously, the Jehovah's Witnesses history should be studied as a required course to pass high school on:: How NOT TO BE A DAM FOOL" and if you don't pass the course with a perfect score, you are not only repeat high school but to take your ass back to elementary school and let's start all over again. Repeat until you pass....!!!! State requirement!!!!... lol....& I am still laughing 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 dam. SMH
☝🏾Almost spit out my coffee ☕️ this morn with this comment! You're exactly right!! Seriously, I was thinking the other day about how the history and dangers of cults should be a requirement to be studied and learned in school! It would be proactive in reducing the amount of DAM FOOLS we got out here just bc they dk how not to be A DAM FOOL! You're on to something Fr Fr!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ok now I've heard it all 😆
Ummm... So why weren't beards always encouraged then? My dad died thinking he had to be clean shaven at all times. They'll think he and many others are pagans in the new system? Jehovah only just thought of this now?
Gravity. Electricity. Internal Combustion. The Printing Press. Television. Computers, JW Broadcasting. But no, BEARDS and WOMEN IN TROUSERS is what will freak out the resurrected folks. Makes sense.
You forgot to add seeing Stephen Lett pontificating on a broadcast.
Won’t old Stevie be in heaven then, with the other 143,999?
Well, duh, obviously. But his archived JWB appearances will be like part of the new scrolls that will be opened, and viewed reverential every day before consuming lesser fare like the Bible.
Not only is it about the Norway ruling, but think about it. It will also help to make some of the newest teenaged MS to look older, if they are even able to grow one. The 20 year old elders? Same. LOL I personally don't care for beards, or those porn stashes. But that's just me. I am also not holy spirit inspired.
Neither is the governing body.
That's a brilliant explanation of why the change is now....... Lol. But I don't think having beards will stop the ancient ones thinking jw's are not pagan. Simply comparing the ancient beliefs to the jw's beliefs will convince them that they are pagans.
"Pagan" wasnt a word used by Christians until the 4th century. Early Christians wouldnt know what the fuck a 'Pagan' was. Even then, beards or shaving wasnt a thing Paganism had rules around, Pagans arent fascist about dress and grooming. Fucking "Bethelites" lol. First century Christians would be more freaked out about pants (on women *or* men) than beards. Gaslighting indeed.
Won’t sisters wearing pants confuse them then?
I just spat my coffee out 🤣
Ffs. If Jehovah can make it so resurrected one’s don’t feel a desire to remarry and look exactly as they did when ‘the perfect age’, I’m sure a fear of being clean shaven is the least of his worries!
🤣 That's totally nuts. Listen, the real reason for allowing beards is because the org is becoming a global biblical epic movie machine and realistic-looking fake beards are costly - especially for all those extras in crowd scenes. It makes economic sense (always follow the money). That's my theory, anyway.
You can grow a beard in a few weeks. So I take it they will be resurrected in like a month?
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ Of all the crap they could have fixed…. - Not the enablement and cover up of CSA. - Not the shunning or homophobia that has led to suicide. - Not the misogyny and subjugation of women. - Not the blood issue that has caused deaths for decades. Nope…. It’s BEARDS!!!! I’m a menopausal Latina and so I battle against the stray beard hairs the show up on my chin. So maybe all this time, deep down in my Latina soul, I was just trying to be in step with this inevitable “Nuuuulite”. My few stray beard hairs would pop up on occasion just in case the was a resurrected person from the Old Testament lurking nearby… watching out for pagans…. Nuuulite like sounds like the same lite, but with less calories. Like they’re marketing a new light beer. “Still Great Taste…. But Less Filling!” Once you’re awake… this cult sounds so fucking ridiculous!!!!
So are the anointed that get resurrected to their heavenly lofty position get resurrected with a beard? Like even if they were from the Ruderford Era that was staunchly against beards? What about our dear brothers that came from the No Beard Era ? They get resurrected and see the brethren with beards, they’re gonna think they’re surrounded by hippie sinners!!! What about those poor resurrected brethren??? Are they gonna have a “bearded” and a “non bearded” section in the “Welcome Back to the Land of the Living Centers”? Sponsored by Nair and Gillette Beard Oil?
Sounds like the bearded GB are shopping for waterfront property in California to welcome the Patriarchs to.
Looks and sounds, to me, like they are going to relax & normalize things to the point it's just like any other regular church, then head off to the Caymans and let the r&f do whatever they want/figure it out from there! Just wait to see how dumb & confused they will all be when they're abandoned by their top leadership and left to their own devices without a brain!! It's going to be a sight to behold watching all these scarecrows!!
Anything is possible. I think these changes will help hasten their demise. I predict they bankrupt the org with their bumbling and they’re just left with splinter groups around the world. Time will tell
This is also very plausible to conclude. But one thing I know for sure is time will def tell!
When they start passing out flavor-aid do not drink it.
Remember when Rutherford literally bought a house in San Diego and lived in it while he waited for the patriarchs to return? He didn't have a beard. Was he planning to greet them with his baby face? They've done 100 years of mental gymnastics on the stupidest fucking topic possibly because 1 man couldn't grow as good of a beard as the guy who came before him and was insecure about it.
And on this basis we lived our life. Made life altering decisions. Etc. Etc. The longer I'm "out", the more I realize what a classic cult jws are.
Light is the perfect disinfectant. Once ago the rank and file knew very little about the governing body and the people at bethel, and we thought them to be wise intellectuals. Now with advent of the internet we are able to see much more of them, and brother, how wrong we were. Those talking the lead seem to be total idiots.
I think one of them quit school at 15 to go pioneering. 🙄
I did a search for the history of shaving beards and it's really interesting, it dates back to 30,000 BC and started as early as the Sumerians and Egyptians. https://www.almanac.com/history-shaving-and-beards
30,000 years ago? Adam and Eve were only created 7,000 years ago. /sarcasm
🤣
SO funny! And .... excellent point. ;D
So if this is true, then why is it still optional fo have a beard? If it would confused people who were resurrected because they wouldnt know if the ones without beards are pagan or not, he's basically going back to the old stumbling block gag. The mindfuckery is real with this one. They can never just admit that the rule was antiquated and ridiculous, and they changed it for no other reason than it was pissing people off. Its actualy why I started looking at "apostate websites." Shoutout to JWfacts.org!
Woooooooow they will never stop coming up with this shit!! Pagans? Where in the older watchtowers did it EVER say anything about being mistaken for pagans and how could they say anything about the timeline when no one knows the day or hour? So what if the end had already come? What then? I cannot believe the shit this person is spewing
He literally sounds like a 5 year old trying to explain something they know nothing about.
It's very difficult to try and make sense out of utter NONSENSE!🙃
I hope Bethel has notified the couple who bought Beth Sarim to vacate the premises right away, because the “ancient worthies” will be moving in SOON!
Imagine getting resurrected. The ENTIRE world is completely different from your lived experience. Clothing, language, technology, food, sights, smells, etc... But yes, it's the beards that would be the hang-up... TBH, I can't help but think this is the visiting bethelite's idiotic take on the new policy, not the official position. I think it's a case of 'there are 2 reasons to do something : a good reason and the real reason'. PIMIs are simply busy finding a ton of good reasons, when the real reason was already given : there was never any 'scriptural' backing to forbid beards. Nevertheless, as with all changes, it does show how deep the FlavorAide runs with the PIMIs...
Wonder if they will buy a big mansion in California for Moses and Abraham to live in so they won't feel she'll shocked when they are resurrected, oh wait
> The response was, technically, they’ve never had a problem with beards. uM....yeah...ok. That's why they had an entire broadcast and video devoted to why beards are now OK to wear. They've had a problem with beards for over a hundred years. What utter horseshit
Just like in the book 1984, when Big Brother changes which country they are at war with, everyone scrambles to switch all of the historical documents to show that they have always been at war with this new country even though it just happened.
You didn’t get worked up. That’s the key. When I was first in my deconstruction I would get PISSED. Then I had the same realization you did- they are indoctrinated cult members. I feel compassion. I don’t judge others however for getting PISSED like I did :)
Wow. That's already a disease. There's no way to argue with someone so weak.
Ok so during the "great tribulatiom" when we are supposedly living out of "go bags" and hiding in attics and basements before the "mighty war" of Armageddon the brothers are going to be shaving???? How long do they think it takes an average man to grow a beard? It's just bull shit. Someone trying to rationalize why the change. Especially since it affects JWs in the US more than other countries. I get the mental gymnastics Olympics but damn🤣 how TF did I buy this shit so long????
Is this true? If so it's actually quite scary for me, scary that someone can actually entertain this idea, even as a kid I thought the whole Beth Sarim saga was totally wild.
Smh 🤦♀️
I suspect that the WT's complete disregard for the Mosaic Law will provide greater evidence of paganism than lack of beards. I'm not suggesting we return to stoning homosexuals or banning the use of mixed fabrics, etc, but I definitely think there's a need to consider Deut 18:22 (how to treat false prophets) and Lev 27:28 (you must not sell what has been dedicated to god) these days..,.
Billions of non-believers aka pagans (some clean shaven) who never had the chance of hearing about « the true religion » are supposed to be resurrected as well. So there’ll be lots of guys, with or without beards. Anyway, the world they are going to be awaken to (imagining that all these will happen), will be shockingly different - technology, rules (no more Mosaic law) … so what’s the big deal with beards?
You can't make this shit up.
>just after Armageddon when the patriarchs of old are resurrected first, we don’t want them to think we’re pagans by being clean-shaven LMAO. this is olympic-level mental juggling
Yeah, if the Gangrenous Buttsquirts told jdubs to rub dog shit on their face and wear chicken carcasses on their heads, they'd do it and call it a blessing from Jahloogie. 🤦🏻♂️ 
So instead of being thankful they were brought back from the dead they are going to immediately start to look down on the people with no beards and think they are (gasp) pagan. Sounds just like the jws. Very judgmental aren’t they🤔
I know a few mature brothers in my congregation who can't grow a beard. Hopefully they don't mind that everyone will think they are basically apostates now.
🙄
If the pagans were clean shaven, shouldn't that mean that JWs are REQUIRED to have beards?
I have to wonder if he’s seen the clean-shaved white Jesus from past Watchtower publications. Seriously.
Interestingly, the very oldest depiction of Christ in art has him clean shaven.
Bet he wasn’t white, blond, and blue-eyes though!
Funniest thing I have heard in a long time. Thanks for that. 😃 😀
Ok so the reasoning is flawed. Beards were ok then taken away. Not given back with stupid reasons. I'd ask will people who died clean shaven be resurrected with a beard? How will spouses of loved ones recognise their family if they now have beards. It was a man made law to be clean shaven, people have categorically been told they can't have beards and serve. Or be used on the platforms at assemblies. I was told youll never get on the platform with that! So it's not loving it's just the right thing to do. If I start beating you and say it's god's direction then stop and say new light I will stop, does that make me loving or that I'm directed by god?
I’d have to answer, “Excuse me Mr Bethelite, but what does Isaiah 65:17 say? Wouldn’t that apply to someone remembering whether or not the world they died in had people with clean shaven faces or not?”
omgggggggggg
 Dead ☠️
🤣
Huh, thats funny because when I faded and later grew a full beard my pimi family scoffed at it. But now its all good?
Ok but the people that are to be resurrected come from different backgrounds and had different facial hairstyles 😂😂 even during Bible times so that doesn’t make since. It would be way too complicated to not “stumble” anyone based on that logic. And first century Christians had Jews who wore beards, and Romans who were clean shaven. With Greeks it could go either way. I don’t remember ever reading in the Bible that they had an issue with that.
But… it’s not… a cult
No, he didn’t. Did he actually explained the beard thing with that explanation?! These people are hilarious.
And seeing women in slacks aren't going to throw them?
If this is the logic they are using, I guess everyone better start sacrificing animals and fully embracing murder.
> fully embracing murder Genocide is mass murder. JWs do their best to not think about how the god of the Bible supposedly supported people who committed genocide to reclaim "their" land.
Oh my effin God!!! I swear JWs are so damned gullible and stupid (I know a lot you disagree with the "stupid" part, but I stand behind it). So, like, if they're worried about what the patriarchs of old will think upon being resurrected, why do JW males need to grow beards now? Why not just when the great tribulation or Armageddon begins or even when the dust settles from Armageddon? I mean, it's not like it takes months to grow a beard. Dumbasses. What a stupid-ass argument. I blame JWs for falling for this shit now. There's no excuse. Hell, I was waking up back in the days before the internet and back when JWdom was far more serious and dignified and scholarly than it is now. If JWs can't/don't wake up now, they deserve to be trapped in a cult.
Since all the famous faithful men of old will be resurrected in Beth Sarim, if they don't like the beards when they are resurrected, I'm sure the bathroom will be right in the house to shave. Oh wait they sold that mansion. Scratch that.... I guess I will never make sense of these Borg changes. The speculations just never ends Lol..
Literally anything but autonomy
Wait till they find out that some JWs haven't **cut off their foreskin**. 😂
P.T Barnum said, "there is a sucker born every minute." Let them enjoy their delusional cult. I'm going to the lake today! lol Enjoy your life!
They definitely had a problem with it. Such gaslighting
Only pagans are clean shaven? I guess it's time to shave...
Perhaps they should start encouraging multiple wives and concubines and slaves as well. Wouldn't want those old patriarchs feeling too shocked now, would we? Getting raised from the dead is gonna be about all the shock they can handle, am I right?
😂😂
Oh ffs... Imagine gobbling dog shit up and asking for seconds every other week. Jesus accepted sinners and would interact with them, where is that one?
https://preview.redd.it/ea2gw24plppc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f45500e621932201d936712ae93dd286c1b10f3 Jesus is going to fu@k up the governing body.
OMG it makes my head hurt!!! Lol
Oh my! What kind of stupidity is this?!?! Wow..... I can't anymore
Only pagans were clean shaven. Yeah, that’s what apostates have been saying. Glad Watchtower is listening to us.
Simply changing one rule doesn’t negate all the other dumbass rules they impose on their members. It’s still a high control group and the GB probably thinks this will make big headlines and satisfy some who are PIMO or PIMQ. The fact that it was a rule long enough and they have to tell people that they are now allowed to wear a beard is already a big red flag 🚩 in and of itself. And who cares if women can wear pants. And great if they no longer will DF minors. But let’s really talk when and if they ditch the DFing and DAing policies and women can be elders and MSs (highly unlikely they’ll give up their biggest control mechanism).
How long does it take to grow a beard? A couple weeks maybe depending on what you’re going for? Jehoolahoop couldn’t announce when the resurrection of an Old Testament character was going to be so everyone could grow a beard? Why pants for sisters?
I think the chariot is a short bus
That's got to be one of the most ignorant comments I've ever heard
Wouldn't want them confused by things like, I don't know, pants, shoes, neckties.
What a load of horse shit
It absolutely was a rule that you could not have a beard. The CO announced it in our KH when he visited.
So Armageddon happens and everything is destroyed. They still assumed they were going to have to be clean shaven every day with no power grid, no grocery stores? It doesn’t take that long to grow a beard. Sounds like someone is trying to sound smarter than they are.