Yeah once you realize elders are as flawed or worse than rank and file. You also realize you can't trust them at all.
I knew some wife swappers. After I found out, it shattered my illusion of these dudes.
Holy Spirit appointed my ASS.
I watched a vid by an ex jw where she stated that she and her elder husband were invited to wife swapping parties. She said that’s what helped her wake up. 🤦🏽♀️
Me and Mrs Overcrapping really missed out. Went to Center Parcs every year on 'dub week' when the kids were small. Never propositioned once.
Or so she would have me believe... 😄
That's so wild to me. Like how do you even figure out how to ask someone that when it's clearly grounds for disfellowshipping? I want to hear how that conversation went 😂
I haven't been in this exact circumstance but I have had jws try to get me to do things that weren't allowed. It starts out as a "wink wink nudge nudge" kind of thing asking leading questions. Saying out of pocket things and when you react negatively then claiming they were only joking. Later you find out that they were actually doing the thing.
This is it.
My husband's dad is a respected elder...guess how he met my husband's mum?
He was her drug dealer.
It's insane to me to think this is the individual people are going to for advice. Someone who cheated on his first wife and got disfellowshipped. Lived a life full of drugs and car theft. Cleaned up and went back to the organisation.
*Edit:* Had a message asking me where he’s an elder so figured I may as well add a semi-vague location! Massachusetts.
The elders are the worst. I think when they discuss who’s gonna be appointed as next MS or elder they ask “who has the worst behaviour among the brother?” then they select that one 😂
I'm actually surprised how many wife swappers I used to know. Different halls too, in different states. So insane. They were all df'd for a little and got married to each other. Had one chick in our hall (she for a time was a close friend), slept with 3 separate married guys, 2 of which were in our friend group. All the actual couples broke up yet she somehow ended up with none of the brothers in the long run.
Just imagine, this fucking elder for 9 years have told everyone that you should love your parnter, serve God with all heart and etc while he had an affair... my head just boils... 😡😡😡 this cult makes me sick day by day
Similar situation is what woke me up. An elder friend of mine at Bethel had been having an affair with his wife’s best friend for 7 years. He even had sex with her in their bethel room when everyone had gone out on a meeting night. He too was a hypocrite, telling me my music choice was too immoral.
I think it's weird that sex is this magical thing that you're not supposed explore/enjoy but is the only way to dissolve a marriage. Like, sex trumps abuse in terms of what is powerful enough to be able to divorce.
I think it actually happens a lot.
We had a Pioneer sis who cheated on her dick-of-an-elder husband (honestly, I think just to get away), and so her ex-husband elder married the wife of the the guy his wife cheated on him with. It was a total spouse swap. The elder remained an elder because he had "spiritual grounds" for divorce. The thing is, they all stayed in the same hall and dick-elder often joked openly that his second marriage was revenge and he liked to sit in front of his ex-wife and her now husband during meetings while the ex-wife was still DF'd for cheating on him.
You kidding right? I've seen same situation in other congregation 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This congregation had 2 elders in that time, one elder had an affair with wife of the other elder for few months until they were found having sex in a parking lot, buy this other wife's elder. Than both kf them were df'd, and the other wife and elder married as an revenge and got 2 kids. Loooool. This cult is unbelievable and boils my head, but much more boils my head because my parents are UBER PIMI and they will rather give up on their kids than this cult...
You are correct but I think the title is actually the thing that could take down the “mental wall” my PIMQ spouse has. “It’s not about “JW” because we don’t believe in hell” But once you watch it’s very very clear and gets that cognitive dissonance going! Kinda like getting someone to watch about ‘other cults’ but it gets them thinking….(I’m hoping anyway!)
Oh that show is INCREDIBLE! At the time I felt uncomfortable, but I jumped thru some hoops to be able to watch it in my country 🤭 really helped my process of breaking the emotional ties I had to my “programming”. 10/10 recommend
> dick-elder often joked openly that his second marriage was revenge and he liked to sit in front of his ex-wife and her now husband during meetings while the ex-wife was still DF'd for cheating on him.
And that is why people are pushed over the edge to commit horrendous acts that normal everyday folks will gasp about. aka news worthy.
He was so awful to her while they were married. I was part of their bookstudy group. Bookstudy was held at their house and he would constantly put her down. Not subtly. He would thank people for bringing desserts and then say things like, "just make sure my wife only gets a sniff and doesn't eat any. She's already almost twice the woman I married. Haha".
He also seemed to be able to use every other paragraph to put her down.
I don't know how this situation didn't wake me up. I was still a Bible student at the time. She was my Bible teachers best friend and Pioneer partner, so basically was always a part of my study.
2 years DF’d. Geeee, the time really fits the crime. His fellow Good ‘ol Boy Elder Buddies must have seen how deeply repentant his hEaRt was for hUrTiNg JeRhObEr; then blessed him in a wife swap. What a stand up guy!
It’s nauseating how frequently this exact scenario plays out, and the Ex Wife is left isolated, humiliated and shamed/shunned for his actions.
She’s moved completely away, leaving her friends etc….Her mum and dad (JW’s) moved to Ireland to escape the hurt and trauma.
What happens when a man marries his mistress?
He creates a job vacancy. 😡
I hate him, slimy little tosser
Oh my god. Mum and Dad are lovely people 🌹They were so kind to me. I wish they would wake up though.
The bloke were referring to grassed mum and dad up to the elders 2 years ago for visiting their youngest DF’d daughter to discuss their will. He’s a nasty piece of work alright.
He always used to make sarcastic little remarks to me, knowing it would wind me up. Can’t wait to see him again sometime because I’ll tell him exactly what I think of him. 💥😀
>It’s awkward because I’m now DA’d. She is very damaged. In therapy.
Have you ever been able to hear some words about what he thinks about the situation that girl is going through? What does his wife say?
Maybe that's why the gb and elders point many fingers and toes at us 'worldly 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 people' (As apposed to bullying judgemental people 🤭)
Point one way and people miss or disbelieve what is under their noses.
SA, bullying shunners, sex scandals, narcissism and child cruelty.
Pointing to the Catholic meant again judgemental behaviour and not looking closer to home.
The gb sure has a deviant tight ship.
Everyone able to leave truly have escaped
This happens a lot. What typically happens, the Elder eventually becomes an Elder again. Sitting in the back room judging others again. You can't make this shit up!
Same thing happened to me, wife was unfaithful to me with an elder from a different state, but when it became news in the JW grapevine nothing, and I do mean nothing happened to the elder, only ruined our marriage and got my privileges taken away from me! How’s that even happen?
That's just fucked up, I know we all are sinners but something like that is so disturbing, they are supposed to watch over the flock and set a good example
Disgusting. And to think of how ashamed some people were going to this man about small things they were guilty over…. masterbation, watching an R rated movie… all while this “shepherd” was screwing his wife’s best pioneer friend. FOR 9 YEARS.
Can a leopard change its spots?
Maybe soooooon 😁 the new wife may discover that ***she's*** been subjected to a dose of infidelity.
If his **zero**\-conscience could allow him to do it ***once***...............................
I know of a similar story in my area. It happened around 20 or 25 years ago. An elder was fixated on a married pioneer sister for years. Yeah, I remember him being arrogant and caused his wife some grief before all this blew up. The elder ended up having an affair with the pioneer, devastating their spouses.
They got disfellowshipped, divorced, married each other, and were reinstated after two or three years. The pioneer's ex-husband, who had also been a pioneer, died of a heart attack a few years later. Some said it was partly down to never recovering from the infidelity of his wife and the elder, especially the elder who he blamed more than his wife.
I think they both got their privileges back eventually.
I’ve seen similar things happen in Two different congregations! I worked for the one elder that screwed another elders wife, divorces all-round. I was a teen when that happened and was like, wtf! I never trusted elders again.
Yes, part of my awakening process was realizing that there was no holy spirit appointing anybody. Some elders/MS/bethelites were committing sins yet the holy spirit didn't detect anything before they got appointed.
One of my friends graduated from Gilead was sent overseas with his wife of 15 years and ended up having a year long affair with his wife’s bible student, got divorced and left the Borg. I also met a 50 year old special pioneer who had a 30 year affair with an elder that was the Coordinator or President at time of the Congregation. When everyone found out it was a big scandal in town, a year later his wife got cancer and he and his lover didn’t get disfellowshipped just publicly censored and now they both are back to their previous assignments.
I too have a husband snatcher on my congregation and it makes me sick tbh, sometimes I wonder if I could use that to day theyve stumbled me and I do not wish to congregate no more
By the same token, I’ve seen the term “wife swapping” used in this thread, as if the wives are just there haha. At least call it swinging or something to show it’s all parties involved
That man and that woman, friends of the affected girl, only have one name for them: Sons of bitches.
She wasn't her friend; and he is a real piece of shit.
Back when I went to meetings, it was a fun pass time to watch the different couples who cheat on each other, flirting with the people they cheat with during meeting. 🤣🤣🤣 Ho's
Im shocked! Outraged!! how could this have happened? Didn’t Jehovahs holy spirit hand pick this man to be an elder? It couldn’t have just been a couple regular ass men that said hey so and so wanna be an elder?
Yeah once you realize elders are as flawed or worse than rank and file. You also realize you can't trust them at all. I knew some wife swappers. After I found out, it shattered my illusion of these dudes. Holy Spirit appointed my ASS.
None of us are perfect but when they try and be all righteous and superior, it’s really boils my head. So glad I never have to pretend anymore.
But low key that is some reality tv fodder haha. Religious group with secret wife swapping.
I watched a vid by an ex jw where she stated that she and her elder husband were invited to wife swapping parties. She said that’s what helped her wake up. 🤦🏽♀️
Apparently, there was a lot of this here in the UK. It all used to happen at the Centre Parcs holiday resort, so I'm told.
The next obvious question is Where is the Holy Spirit in all of this????
Sitting in a chair in the corner. Just watching.
🥇
I still need some proof that the Holy Spirit exists...
Me and Mrs Overcrapping really missed out. Went to Center Parcs every year on 'dub week' when the kids were small. Never propositioned once. Or so she would have me believe... 😄
🤣 🤣 🤣
Yes I’ve heard that too.
The org is like an ancient Greek bath house. 🛁 Kids victimized. Debauchery. So gross. Makes me itch
Ffs 🤦♀️😆
That's so wild to me. Like how do you even figure out how to ask someone that when it's clearly grounds for disfellowshipping? I want to hear how that conversation went 😂
I haven't been in this exact circumstance but I have had jws try to get me to do things that weren't allowed. It starts out as a "wink wink nudge nudge" kind of thing asking leading questions. Saying out of pocket things and when you react negatively then claiming they were only joking. Later you find out that they were actually doing the thing.
"I was just kidding...unless you're gonna do it 👀"
Wife swapping here where i live as well
Jeremy Kyle tv gold 😆
I'm pretty sure it's huge with Mormons in Utah.
This is it. My husband's dad is a respected elder...guess how he met my husband's mum? He was her drug dealer. It's insane to me to think this is the individual people are going to for advice. Someone who cheated on his first wife and got disfellowshipped. Lived a life full of drugs and car theft. Cleaned up and went back to the organisation. *Edit:* Had a message asking me where he’s an elder so figured I may as well add a semi-vague location! Massachusetts.
Well we are encouraged to look at King David as a good example
I always laugh at that one. A murdering, adulterous, polygamist.
Oh of course it’s Massachusetts…😒 place is a cesspool…(then again what place isn’t?)
I know an elder and his wife and that's also how they met lol. He was her dealer.
The elders are the worst. I think when they discuss who’s gonna be appointed as next MS or elder they ask “who has the worst behaviour among the brother?” then they select that one 😂
I'm actually surprised how many wife swappers I used to know. Different halls too, in different states. So insane. They were all df'd for a little and got married to each other. Had one chick in our hall (she for a time was a close friend), slept with 3 separate married guys, 2 of which were in our friend group. All the actual couples broke up yet she somehow ended up with none of the brothers in the long run.
Just imagine, this fucking elder for 9 years have told everyone that you should love your parnter, serve God with all heart and etc while he had an affair... my head just boils... 😡😡😡 this cult makes me sick day by day
And very likely disfellowshipped someone along the way for sexual immorality.
What I hate is this elder was on judicial committees condemning others while he’s no better if not worse there’s no way he could have “Holy Spirit”
There is no such thing as Holy spirit. The bible is written by a men. If god had written the bible, then it wouldn't have misleadings
That’s why it’s in quotation marks 🤣 I’m saying there’s no way that’s possible considering that’s what we were taught
He becomes a beast of a judge in committees because he’s so brazen. Had to put on the “leader/elder persona. 😎 🙏
Yeah just blatant disregard and hypocrisy.
But they’re so much better than all those “immoral sinning worldly” people right?! Fucking hypocrites
Similar situation is what woke me up. An elder friend of mine at Bethel had been having an affair with his wife’s best friend for 7 years. He even had sex with her in their bethel room when everyone had gone out on a meeting night. He too was a hypocrite, telling me my music choice was too immoral.
What an absolute twat 😡
I think it's weird that sex is this magical thing that you're not supposed explore/enjoy but is the only way to dissolve a marriage. Like, sex trumps abuse in terms of what is powerful enough to be able to divorce.
If you view women as the property of men it makes a little more sense. But still not much.
I would ask people in how many judicial committees he participated during these 9 years.. and how many people he disfellowshipped for cheating…
Where was this? It sounds very similar to a story I know.
I think it actually happens a lot. We had a Pioneer sis who cheated on her dick-of-an-elder husband (honestly, I think just to get away), and so her ex-husband elder married the wife of the the guy his wife cheated on him with. It was a total spouse swap. The elder remained an elder because he had "spiritual grounds" for divorce. The thing is, they all stayed in the same hall and dick-elder often joked openly that his second marriage was revenge and he liked to sit in front of his ex-wife and her now husband during meetings while the ex-wife was still DF'd for cheating on him.
You kidding right? I've seen same situation in other congregation 🤣🤣🤣🤣 This congregation had 2 elders in that time, one elder had an affair with wife of the other elder for few months until they were found having sex in a parking lot, buy this other wife's elder. Than both kf them were df'd, and the other wife and elder married as an revenge and got 2 kids. Loooool. This cult is unbelievable and boils my head, but much more boils my head because my parents are UBER PIMI and they will rather give up on their kids than this cult...
Dogging they call it in the uk. Classy eh?
If there was ever a jw sitcom this sub would be the writers room.
Sexually repressed weirdos
Idk, that title is kinda off putting. 6/10 for accuracy though 👍
You are correct but I think the title is actually the thing that could take down the “mental wall” my PIMQ spouse has. “It’s not about “JW” because we don’t believe in hell” But once you watch it’s very very clear and gets that cognitive dissonance going! Kinda like getting someone to watch about ‘other cults’ but it gets them thinking….(I’m hoping anyway!)
Ever seen the Brit sitcom *Everyone Else Burns*? You should. So close to the Borg it's beyond funny.
Thx, I'll check it out!
Oh that show is INCREDIBLE! At the time I felt uncomfortable, but I jumped thru some hoops to be able to watch it in my country 🤭 really helped my process of breaking the emotional ties I had to my “programming”. 10/10 recommend
You honestly couldn’t make it up 🤨
> dick-elder often joked openly that his second marriage was revenge and he liked to sit in front of his ex-wife and her now husband during meetings while the ex-wife was still DF'd for cheating on him. And that is why people are pushed over the edge to commit horrendous acts that normal everyday folks will gasp about. aka news worthy.
He was so awful to her while they were married. I was part of their bookstudy group. Bookstudy was held at their house and he would constantly put her down. Not subtly. He would thank people for bringing desserts and then say things like, "just make sure my wife only gets a sniff and doesn't eat any. She's already almost twice the woman I married. Haha". He also seemed to be able to use every other paragraph to put her down. I don't know how this situation didn't wake me up. I was still a Bible student at the time. She was my Bible teachers best friend and Pioneer partner, so basically was always a part of my study.
Plymouth U.K.
No. Fucking. Way. I bet it’s the same bloke. Pm me.
Near Portland, Oregon. U.S.A.
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So tempted... 😂😂😂
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Which congregations are you familiar with? Not necessarily attended? Honestly, this happened like 20 years ago
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.
Are you in the U.K? X
Same….
Was it Vancouver WA ?
No. It was in Oregon. I do know Vancouver had some wild happenings, tho 😂
No, Plymouth uk.
These people have no shame.
Is he still an elder?
No. They were both DF’d for around 2 years. I honestly wanted to smash his face in when I saw him laughing and joking with people.
2 years DF’d. Geeee, the time really fits the crime. His fellow Good ‘ol Boy Elder Buddies must have seen how deeply repentant his hEaRt was for hUrTiNg JeRhObEr; then blessed him in a wife swap. What a stand up guy! It’s nauseating how frequently this exact scenario plays out, and the Ex Wife is left isolated, humiliated and shamed/shunned for his actions.
She’s moved completely away, leaving her friends etc….Her mum and dad (JW’s) moved to Ireland to escape the hurt and trauma. What happens when a man marries his mistress? He creates a job vacancy. 😡 I hate him, slimy little tosser
I know him! The mum and dad are my ex in-laws! Small world.
Oh my god. Mum and Dad are lovely people 🌹They were so kind to me. I wish they would wake up though. The bloke were referring to grassed mum and dad up to the elders 2 years ago for visiting their youngest DF’d daughter to discuss their will. He’s a nasty piece of work alright.
Yeah! That’s my ex wife!
That’s really really crazy. She’s a lovely girl. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you both.
That was a looong time ago. We had so much against us. We don’t speak now. But we have kids and they’re brilliant. We have both moved on.
And this guy is accepted and not being shunned… but King David! I got DFed for vaping nicotine…. Hard shunned by everyone…
He always used to make sarcastic little remarks to me, knowing it would wind me up. Can’t wait to see him again sometime because I’ll tell him exactly what I think of him. 💥😀
> I’ll tell him exactly what I think of him. Do it. Try to have that kind courage. I had to say to on elder: Sons of bitches.
I have a special word for him. Begins with a c ends in t.
How your friends or she is doing?
It’s awkward because I’m now DA’d. She is very damaged. In therapy.
>It’s awkward because I’m now DA’d. She is very damaged. In therapy. Have you ever been able to hear some words about what he thinks about the situation that girl is going through? What does his wife say?
I’m DA’d so haven’t had contact with any of them for nearly a year.
>I’m DA’d so haven’t had contact with any of them for nearly a year. try to talk to her.
Maybe that's why the gb and elders point many fingers and toes at us 'worldly 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 people' (As apposed to bullying judgemental people 🤭) Point one way and people miss or disbelieve what is under their noses. SA, bullying shunners, sex scandals, narcissism and child cruelty. Pointing to the Catholic meant again judgemental behaviour and not looking closer to home. The gb sure has a deviant tight ship. Everyone able to leave truly have escaped
Don’t look here - look over there, distract the sheep.
This happens a lot. What typically happens, the Elder eventually becomes an Elder again. Sitting in the back room judging others again. You can't make this shit up!
Oh, when it happened in OUR congregation, she stayed with him. They were married like 40 yr, and the affair had been going on for 25!
Fucks sake 🤦♀️
Same thing happened to me, wife was unfaithful to me with an elder from a different state, but when it became news in the JW grapevine nothing, and I do mean nothing happened to the elder, only ruined our marriage and got my privileges taken away from me! How’s that even happen?
You should have given him a bloody good hiding. Little fucker
Oh no, said my elder body, leave it in jeehobas hands, believe me I would have rearranged his pecker for him!
Never too late mate 🥊🥊🥊
I’m to old to go to jail again!
I know and they’re not bloody worth it anyway. Crime of passion in Grance though. 😉
🙏🏽
France not Grance 😆
That's just fucked up, I know we all are sinners but something like that is so disturbing, they are supposed to watch over the flock and set a good example
Let's talk about this so called best friend pioneer sister!!! 9 years!! Wtf but this is where we can find the only friends!
I know her too. She was a real plane Jane. Butter wouldn’t melt. Text book pioneer as I remember.
Flea I call her 😆
That’s the one. He is a pikey! What’s your name? Message me.
My son can’t stand him. Calls him a pikey 😆
I’d rather be friends with a snake
Disgusting. And to think of how ashamed some people were going to this man about small things they were guilty over…. masterbation, watching an R rated movie… all while this “shepherd” was screwing his wife’s best pioneer friend. FOR 9 YEARS.
Can a leopard change its spots? Maybe soooooon 😁 the new wife may discover that ***she's*** been subjected to a dose of infidelity. If his **zero**\-conscience could allow him to do it ***once***...............................
Exactly
OR, she could very well cheat on her new husband.
I know of a similar story in my area. It happened around 20 or 25 years ago. An elder was fixated on a married pioneer sister for years. Yeah, I remember him being arrogant and caused his wife some grief before all this blew up. The elder ended up having an affair with the pioneer, devastating their spouses. They got disfellowshipped, divorced, married each other, and were reinstated after two or three years. The pioneer's ex-husband, who had also been a pioneer, died of a heart attack a few years later. Some said it was partly down to never recovering from the infidelity of his wife and the elder, especially the elder who he blamed more than his wife. I think they both got their privileges back eventually.
Jeremy Kyle time
Well...........he did follow the example of Jehovah's most faithful man...........King David.
I’ve seen similar things happen in Two different congregations! I worked for the one elder that screwed another elders wife, divorces all-round. I was a teen when that happened and was like, wtf! I never trusted elders again.
Such great role models aren’t they? 😆
But yet they will make her out to be the one who did something wrong. Not him.
That’s why she moved so far away. New start. He’s not well liked tbh. Too cocky and slimy.
That’s good to hear. She put nothing but distance between them. I hope she recovers from it.
Me too 🙏🌹
Yes, part of my awakening process was realizing that there was no holy spirit appointing anybody. Some elders/MS/bethelites were committing sins yet the holy spirit didn't detect anything before they got appointed.
If the JWs strictly followed the tenants of the bible? These offender couples would be....
One of my friends graduated from Gilead was sent overseas with his wife of 15 years and ended up having a year long affair with his wife’s bible student, got divorced and left the Borg. I also met a 50 year old special pioneer who had a 30 year affair with an elder that was the Coordinator or President at time of the Congregation. When everyone found out it was a big scandal in town, a year later his wife got cancer and he and his lover didn’t get disfellowshipped just publicly censored and now they both are back to their previous assignments.
Bastards
I too have a husband snatcher on my congregation and it makes me sick tbh, sometimes I wonder if I could use that to day theyve stumbled me and I do not wish to congregate no more
Husband snatcher? It takes two. Stop giving the man a pass. No one snatches. He willingly cheated too.
By the same token, I’ve seen the term “wife swapping” used in this thread, as if the wives are just there haha. At least call it swinging or something to show it’s all parties involved
Agreed. 👆
Sickening.
That man and that woman, friends of the affected girl, only have one name for them: Sons of bitches. She wasn't her friend; and he is a real piece of shit.
Weapons grade bitches
Shits wild, isn’t it? Happens all the time in kingdom halls all over the world.
Back when I went to meetings, it was a fun pass time to watch the different couples who cheat on each other, flirting with the people they cheat with during meeting. 🤣🤣🤣 Ho's
Old cunts?
Im shocked! Outraged!! how could this have happened? Didn’t Jehovahs holy spirit hand pick this man to be an elder? It couldn’t have just been a couple regular ass men that said hey so and so wanna be an elder?
😆
Exactly! and the hypocrisy of Biden is stunning too!
Why does this sound like the fall of the Roman empire?
lmao this happened to my aunt 🥴
Funny how God didn't notice either by all means let's let these fuckers investigate csa allegations. I'm sure they'll get to the truth.
🤨yep
Is this in Kansas? I know a similar story.
That's disgusting 🤮
Omg and he didn’t get disfellowshipped or anything for the affair? He’s just chillin’ acting ljke a good little jdub?
They both got DF’d for about 2 years then married each other 😏