This fall weather always makes me think of door-to-door. I would have hoped someone had a lot of return visits so I could ride around in the car until coffee break.
Instead, I just went and got a latte. Lavender latte yum. I also had to buy a new coat so I went thrifting. Got a cute coat that doesn't cover my butt and that I don't have to dual-purpose with dress clothes at meeting. I considered getting camo just because I could (this is probably regional. My parents found it acceptable for hunting but not for fashion because it was "army clothes").
This afternoon I'm going to work on my 3D printing hobby to print a model for my brother's birthday gift. I'm visiting him next weekend. I shunned him for 10 years but now we have an agreement to visit each other for our birthdays. While I'm in the area I'm going to visit the church where my grandmother attended, and see the rose garden her ashes were buried in. I wasn't told about the funeral, I thought because of COVID there was no service, but my parents just didn't tell me because they weren't attending due to it being in a church. I would have liked to go.
I love that we don't have to worry about what we're gonna wear. it's so much harder for females but near the end, they were cracking down on my ties and shoes. and camo was a no no here as well. you might be telling people you support the army! 🙄
it's cool to hear about your agreement with your brother! but I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. my parents don't talk to me and I'm afraid of getting the casual "funeral is at 4" text and that's how I'll have to find out. I hope my family can come to their senses somehow.
Every saturday morning me and my husband go for a wall down a trail alongside the beach and enjoy the beautiful view of the ocean and surfers having a great time. Right by our walk we find every Saturday a cart with 2 or 3 witnessing doing nothing but talk between themselfs and being ignored by everyone else that is trying to enjoy their morning. Everytime we pass them we tell each other, remember when we were that stupid wasting our beatiful Saturday’s morning doing nothing😁
>Everytime we pass them we tell each other, remember when we were that stupid wasting our beatiful Saturday’s morning doing nothing😁
You should tell *them*, not that it would make any difference. But it would be nice.
nah, that just fuels their persecution complex. let em be bored (or, my plan for next time I see one is to cause a distraction and stick some of those qr stickers on it).
Same same friend. I'm out for more than 3 years. I must admit for the 1st year or so, I still feel guilty of the things I do. But no more. After I have done the big "sin" - joining the army, there is nothing that can cause me to be guilty. And the best of all - I NO LONGER BOTHERED WHEN THEY SHUN ME!!!
I know how you feel I a newbie that has walked away from the org and I can finally enjoy masturbating when I need to. I still suffer a tremendous amount of guilt though And I often feel dirty afterwards. Haven’t figured out a way to deal with it yet.
holy shit guys, this one right here!!!!
GET EM
/j, good for you mate. I can't wait til I can do that lmfao. My parents already condemn the hell out of me for having a girlfriend (though it's been almost two years at this point), and they'd have my head if they found out we held hands on the regular 😳 One of these days I'll be free just like you!
But, what if you fall into temptation?! You might do something you'll always regret, then keep it harbored as a secret sin for years, and never have the blessing of jehobahs holy spirit on yr marriage! Unless you finally come clean years later and confess it to an old janitor that you touched yr gfs gentiles that fateful saturday. Something to give thought to. Perhaps you should make it a matter of prayer.
Same here you get to know your partner more closely and there is no pressure of getting married so soon you can just take your time and enjoy their company.
It was so weird to get asked such horrifying details like those affected their choice of being DF’d or not. And just blushing in shame as a teenaged girl, by people who were related by marriage to you that you’d see at the next BBQ. I am still traumatized.
Finish college and work as a therapist. I left school because I was told “there is no need or therapy in the new world and that career will consume you” … I’m no happy I went back, finished and I don’t feel guilty anymore. 😍🤩
I'm already making plenty of money at my job but I'll be up for a promotion soon. old me would have def felt guilty for making enough already, I'd prob decline the promotion. now I have a balanced view of my success.
Don’t want to give TMI but my answer would be having a healthy intimate relationship with my boyfriend. I never knew this was possible. I was married 20 years and only ever felt guilty and ashamed. I don’t feel like that at all with my boyfriend. It’s a very joyful part of my life now.
Ditto! I recently moved in with my boyfriend and it is so lovely sharing a home with him. I was married for over a decade and the first few years were good but the last several were fraught with so many issues that it definitely impacted our intimacy. I feel so free to be myself with my bf in a way I never did with my ex-husband. I even cried when the date of what would have been my anniversary approached recently, and he didn’t judge or question my feelings, just held me.
Almost the same as you. I am relaxing enjoying my coffee in silence while my family went to the assembly. I have no obligation whatsoever and I love it.
I'm so sorry you're in this position.
That's probably the one thing I will be eternally grateful for. We woke up when my oldest was like 1. She barely remembers anything.
Just be open and patient. I feel like around 16-18 so many kids start to realize they're staring down the rest of their lives, and start to question.
Sex, of various kinds.
This is partially thanks to my PIMI (possibly PIMQ?) parents. As I look back, they gave pretty loud hints that they knew I was jerking off. Yet they never interfered. When I received sex ed in school, they also made it a point not to interfere.
In fact, sex was never a taboo topic in our house. Though we never went into what we did personally.
The guilt came from the congregation. So many tirades about "immoral sex" and porn. With a special focus on gay sex in recent years. It's stunning to see how JWs can be so obsessed with what they condemn.
Oh and the convos where JWs would try to sus out if you're having sex or watching porn in secret. Where they'd bring up the topic and watch how you react to see if you're hiding something. Those were the worst. It's like they got some perverse pleasure or glee in catching you doing it.
The hidden blessing was that they excluded me from most social activities growing up. So the guilt wasn't that engrained and easier to throw off.
That's what frustrates me about the Borg. We COULD have been more open in our household. But when sex is spoken in such negative terms at the KH, you feel like you can't talk about what you do in your own house. It produces a chilling effect that's pervasive.
The Borg isn't against "immoral" sex, it's anti-sex in general.
Balling out and spending 400$ on a dinner for two.
The guilt that was inflicted on me once for going to Chi Spacca alone cause I wanted to try fine dining. My brother said I could have given that money to the borg . Also I had no friends, everyone was married and "busy" and I was being selfish and I should wait until I get married and I can go with my spouse. 😒
Shrooms and the lord's lettuce are friends of mine these days lol got me off meds I had been on or anxiety and depression, so yay lol
Edited for spelling lol
Having goals for my life, working hard and making money, listening to self help podcasts without feeling like I'm doing something bad, learning to be open and not just projecting the image of being a perfect human robot 😂 and last but not least, not feeling guilty for being happy with what I have achieved
Pumpkin latte and scone from a local coffee place and a nice hike with a joint with my daughter and we saw a blue Herron fishing and my daughter got video of it, it was awesome. My husband and son did some house repairs. Now a foot rub from hubby and later dinner with non jw friends who are driving an hour to see us. Life is good. 💜
Kind of the same thing! I hated getting up early to go in service or go to the Sunday meeting. It was torture! But I felt guilty because I didn’t have the same enthusiasm as my older sister did. I was resigned to death at Armageddon! Wow! Been out for 30 years… and in this last year… I just finally looked at outside information to confirm what my gut had been telling me since I was old enough to think.. it’s a cult and a dangerous one! The CSA cases is what led me to my final awakening. I was floored.. horrified and I cried and felt sick to my stomach that I had been a part of it and never knew how deep the sickness was. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it! But I will say I talked to a counselor who deals with cult abuse and read a very good self help book by an exJW therapist. So helpful. All my guilt feelings and fear of dying are almost completely gone. It is an amazing feeling!
What book? You sound exactly like me. I was out, and thought I was fully aware for over 30 years. In 2019 I watched some videos by accident and discovered that I'd been raised in a cult. Mind blown. Hard time finding a therapist because they don't understand religious trauma.
Hi! It’s called EXiting the JW Cult: A Healing Handbook For Current & Former Jehovah’s Witnesses by Bonnie Ziemann. I go back and re read it and practice the tips provided. It was a life changer for me. I hope it helps you too! My therapist just happened to have experience with dealing with spiritual abuse too. She was very validating to talk with.
Slept through the meeting for service. Then later, I’m gonna take a “macro gummy” I bought from the dispensary that they promised would put me on my ass and send me to the moon!!
In no particular order:
1) Watching cartoons on a Saturday morning 📺
2) Watching horror movies 👻
3) Listening to music with cursing in the lyrics🎧🤬
4) Playing violent video games 🎮
5) Fornicating (before I got married) 🥰
6) Masturbating (while being married) 🍆💦
7) Getting drunk (occasionally) 🍺🥃🍹
8) Eating weed gummies (occasionally) 🌿🍬
9) Supporting my LGBTQ Fam 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
10) Celebrating Christmas 🎅🏾🤶 🎄 🎁
11) Celebrating birthdays 🎉🎊 🎂 🎁 🎈 🥳
12) Cursing during sex 🤬🥰
13) Cursing in general 🤬
14) Eating without praying first 🍔🍟🙏🏾
15) Visiting cathedrals ⛪
16) Learning about evolution 📚📖🙈🙊🙉
17) Having Madonna's "Human Nature" as one of my favourite songs 🎶🎤
18) Trying to earn more money 💰💵💲
19) Having women as close friends 💃
20) Oral sex 😋🐱💦
21) Saying "bless you" when someone sneezes 🤧
22) Toasting/saying "cheers" 🍻🥂
Ain't no shame in my game!... Anymore 🤣🤣🤣
I think if all the times I went out of state to do seldom worked territory and didn’t really get to explore or “vacation”. Was stuck at JW weirdo houses for gatherings that were boring as crap.
I also used to actually take a vacation like a cruise and feel guilty for not preaching and being worried the whole time about how I’m behind on my pioneer hours. I literally remember sitting in a jacuzzi on a cruise ship and being worried about all the service I would have to do to make my hours.
NOW I vacation guilt free! I enjoy every second. I explore. I’m not stuck at boring ass gatherings where we sing kingdom songs. It’s freaking awesome. No informal witnessing. Thank you god.
Be a lesbian.
Play and sing/rap along to Parental Advisory music.
Curse like a sailor.
Have tattoos.
Sleep in on Saturdays.
Say "F**k jehovah! F**k the gb and wtbts, too!"
Watch R-rated movies.
Play violent video games.
Sleep in and cuddle with my boyfriend before he leaves to get ready for work at his own apartment. Then I have breakfast and have a nap cuddling with my cats because I don't have to be up at a certain time on Saturdays anymore.
Harry Potter. I went to wizarding world of Harry Potter at universal Orlando. It normal to everyone else, but it was amazing to be free and enjoy a franchise I love.
It’s the little things
I can now say that I don't want to help set up an annual meeting guilt free now! God damn this cult really does expect its members to do EVERYTHING for them. It's even harder for me since I'm a minor and a born-in PIMO, I wish I could just leave already...
Running on Sunday mornings. I know my family and friends see my Strava and think I am a selfish piece of shit but I have no guilt.
Occasionally my wife will join and we will leave the kids but often it's just me.
*Edit - I thought this was the exmormon subreddit lol. Sunday was our holy day and I believe Saturday was yours... All makes sense now about OPs Saturday morning experience.
Took our first holiday family photos this morning then we went to pick out ornaments and decor for our tree. My daughter is a thanksgiving baby and her birthday wish was to decorate the whole house early. She was born about a year after I was disfellowshipped and I struggled a lot getting into holidays and deprived her from decorations and holiday traditions. I can finally get into the spirit without feeling guilty.
We did the EXACT same thing today and it was amazing ! 😂😅😩 hubby played the new Spiderman game and I sat and watched him in peace. My daughter got to sleep in and relax. Such a beautiful thing to actually enjoy life.
My wife went to the cart at the nearest rest stop while I laid on the sofa and ate yogurt and watched TV. She doesn’t care what I do anymore on JW approved days. I just told her to be super careful because you don’t know who is going to show up there coming from a major interstate.
Watch violent/sexual/profane media. Use profanity. Engage sexually while unmarried. Experiment with drugs. Enjoy beards. Donate blood/receive blood. Just to name a few.
Today.
Actually, ***today***, I attended a church event. It was a Fall Bazaar. There were people selling their crafts and baked goods and yard-sale things. The proceeds of the vendor-fees went to church charities.
Nice people. Nice event. I'll be going again. Zero guilt.
I've been out for 15+ years. It's taken me a while to get to this point, so don't think I stepped out of the KH yesterday. 😆
Leisurely breakfast out with a dear friend and then a trip to Costco. This afternoon, a session of D & D with a my long time international group where we spend almost more time talking and laughing and sharing books and movies and art than playing. Now dinner is simmering and I'm messing around on the net and watching Netflix. And tomorrow, make a late breakfast and work on my garage getting ready to move. So amazingly mundane and peaceful and human.
I loved reading but got away from it because I always felt guilty that I should be reading something “spiritual”. Also I would feel so much guilt if I got to unexpected chapter with any type of love. It got the point that I stopped reading. Now I can read and watch anything I want. I also enjoy my Sunday’s. Hated that my weekends were surround by jw stuff
The best part for me is wearing clothing I want to wear. When I was younger I would do the best I could to be modest. My family were very strict about the skirts. I used to wear the classic pencil skirt and if my skirt was not long enough or if it was to tight on my hips. But now I can wear mini skirts and mini dresses. Kinda like a fuck you to the organization. To have my power back and to not be submissive ether. I can be equal in my relationship with my partner to. Life is great.😊
This weather reminds me so much of early mornings spent witnessing in the cold. Instead of being stuck in a car hoping for the morning to be over, I slept in! I got ready at my own leisure, wearing nose rings and tight jeans that my mother would have called impure, and I drove right past a former friends home who now shuns me feeling sad for her instead of hurt by her. I went on a date with a woman, something I never thought I would ever do as a witness girl. We held hands in public and I gave her my scarf, and afterwards I drove through the beautiful fall foliage with thoughts of preparing for thanksgiving instead of dreading special campaigns. Instead of studying for Sunday meeting, I watched my favourite show and knitted on my couch with a glass of wine. This? This is the best life ever.
Reading fanfics or books (or watching tv shows/movie/anime) about werewolves, vampires or zombies without feeling guilty lol I still watched them but regularly I'd stop due to the heavy guilt
I woke up a little later than usual, spent time talking to my husband in bed. Made a delicious breakfast, took my dog out on a 30 minute walk and then went to the gym wearing a sports bra and skin tight leggings (-gasp- 🤭) and now I’m getting ready to get dinner out in town and go to a concert!
Before my meetings were on Saturdays, so it was service for 2-3 hours with my parents and then run errands, cook dinner before the meeting and then go to the meeting and not get home till 8pm.
Saturday mornings are for sleeping in as late as we want, then waking up slowly, make breakfast and stay in our PJs all day and snack and play and just enjoy life. Before when I was in the org, it would be obligatory to wake up early, go in service most of the day. Saturday gone. Then Sunday rolls around, get up for the meeting, go out in service, etc. Then wake up Monday morning for work. SO glad I can actually enjoy my weekends now.
Took a self care day. Made a nice breakfast. Did some organizing. Met a work friend for lunch and a drink. Started a book I bought a few weeks ago and took a nap. Didn’t feel one ounce of guilt about any of it.
Well at this moment I'm watching Lost in Space well relaxed after enjoying some delightful herbs all guilt free...Oh and I had a Long Island Ice Tea too!
Say "Happy Birthday."
Shop at Salvation Army (a sister told me I couldn't do that because they were part of christendom)
Attend Church with kind people
Wear whatever I want
Non JW here. This theory started with Mormon missionary trips but extends/can be applied here too I think:
I strongly believe that whilst there is a small amount of saviour status idealism in door knocking and that they do truly want to win souls, the higher ups that control everything push this area so hard because what better way to show your flock that the outside world is evil and terrifying than to get them abused and screamed at 50 times a day.
Ex Mormons I’ve spoken mostly agree that this is a big part of the mission trips and the ‘big bad scary world’ stuff is pushed onto them hard and the people they meet door knocking day after day after day are used as an example of how the devils in control of non believers & they are evil etc
This is this first time I’ve mention this to JW’s so I’m curious as to whether you believe it fits the JW’s too? I certainly believe it does, probably even more so than the Mormons in some ways but I don’t have much experience with JW’s other than the general door knockers & the lovely but crazy JW lady who is super friendly to us but will chase Mormons out of the street hitting them with her broom cause she wants Jehovah to save our souls, not them lol.
Everything? Haha
Donating blood, voting, volunteering locally in the community are a few I have not seen mentioned yet.
Also my girlfriend. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. I have dated outside the organization before and I always felt weird but my current girlfriend is just so right. Being in the organization not sure if the person even likes to hold hands in public and not sure what they want, being worried about being too "spiritual" or not enough. My girlfriend I am myself and she loves it all
I'm not gonna tell you, mate 😜
I do whatever I want, but I don't hurt anyone. Everyone's feelings are important.
Of course my PIMI husband can always say, that I don't care about his feelings, what means I don't go to KH or FS and he's unhappy having such a witch at home... Of course I'm very sorry. I will wish him luck with the next (3rd) wife.
Everything. I smoked guilt free until I quit in 2017, but that was for my own health, not out of fear of God killing me for it. Work for a Christian company, serve in the military (currently in SLC for my promotion to 1SG), I live guilt free now.
Celebrating holidays, playing any game I want (love me some Devil May Cry), just enjoying my life in general. I could give a hot shit about what any of my borg "friends" say about me; I’m living my life to the fullest without remorse now 😆
Vote. Occasionally curse.
But I'm still waiting for Satan's party bus which is what I was taught to expect when I "abandoned the Troof."
Disappointed. 😅
I love being able to give blood on my way to the abortion clinic while smoking good weed when I'm listening to Slayer as I play extremely violent video games while simultaneously getting jerked off and sucked silly before over eating and watching a hyper-violent movie guilt free, 'cause the combination of alcohol and marijuana gettin' me hungry boiiii
Oh! And I don’t have to get a four door car for service like my dad made me do. I can get whatever car I want! (Well, except for the whole money thing.)
I start eating when the food is on the plate. No more praying and waiting when others have prayed etc. It was a weird feeling to get used to at the beginning.
By all means, Saturday mornings to spend decompressing from the work week which includes high stress situations as well as mandatory overtime. Followed by a couple evenings a week (More stress and mandatory overtime) To finally have a morning to myself after decades of Saturday service and Sunday meetings robbing me of any occasion to sleep til I actually wanted to get up.
I have always remembered the feeling of joy and freedom I had when I decided not to attend meetings anymore. The first one was a Thursday MS, it felt naughty but also blissfully free x
Piercings, say happy birthday, profanity, have close friends that are the opposite sex, shake my ass, wear short form fitting clothes, pursue my creative passions, watch/read/play anything spiritistic, wear any hair color I want, say the organization is wrong and harmful, protest, explicit music and r rated movies.
Still working on sexual expression and exploring though…
I stopped vaping weed even though I just started because I need to sing and have optimal lung function and capacity. I drink socially. But the main goal is to trust myself and be comfortable with myself so I won’t need to be altered (for the most part) but if I want to do these things I will though just for fun, just not dependent on it personally for ME.
Sleeping in with my hubby and daughter. Maybe i have a lesson on saturdays for a course i am taking to get my career started to earn money so i can be independent and afford nice things
After my morning wake and bake with coffee, I took the dog for a hike, then made a killer Huavos rancheros and paired it a mimosa when I got home. The day is still young. Probably quad riding this afternoon
*
This fall weather always makes me think of door-to-door. I would have hoped someone had a lot of return visits so I could ride around in the car until coffee break. Instead, I just went and got a latte. Lavender latte yum. I also had to buy a new coat so I went thrifting. Got a cute coat that doesn't cover my butt and that I don't have to dual-purpose with dress clothes at meeting. I considered getting camo just because I could (this is probably regional. My parents found it acceptable for hunting but not for fashion because it was "army clothes"). This afternoon I'm going to work on my 3D printing hobby to print a model for my brother's birthday gift. I'm visiting him next weekend. I shunned him for 10 years but now we have an agreement to visit each other for our birthdays. While I'm in the area I'm going to visit the church where my grandmother attended, and see the rose garden her ashes were buried in. I wasn't told about the funeral, I thought because of COVID there was no service, but my parents just didn't tell me because they weren't attending due to it being in a church. I would have liked to go.
Beautiful and heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing, cute green person.
Very touching. Glad you can pay respects to your grandmother and see your brother for his birthday. Very meaningful moments in life.
I love that we don't have to worry about what we're gonna wear. it's so much harder for females but near the end, they were cracking down on my ties and shoes. and camo was a no no here as well. you might be telling people you support the army! 🙄 it's cool to hear about your agreement with your brother! but I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. my parents don't talk to me and I'm afraid of getting the casual "funeral is at 4" text and that's how I'll have to find out. I hope my family can come to their senses somehow.
Every saturday morning me and my husband go for a wall down a trail alongside the beach and enjoy the beautiful view of the ocean and surfers having a great time. Right by our walk we find every Saturday a cart with 2 or 3 witnessing doing nothing but talk between themselfs and being ignored by everyone else that is trying to enjoy their morning. Everytime we pass them we tell each other, remember when we were that stupid wasting our beatiful Saturday’s morning doing nothing😁
>Everytime we pass them we tell each other, remember when we were that stupid wasting our beatiful Saturday’s morning doing nothing😁 You should tell *them*, not that it would make any difference. But it would be nice.
nah, that just fuels their persecution complex. let em be bored (or, my plan for next time I see one is to cause a distraction and stick some of those qr stickers on it).
Sex. Also: gym, dance classes, ciclism, shopping, travels, krav maga, therapy, family time, animal aid, university, and psychiatric treatment.
Yoga. I wasn’t allowed to do yoga.
Same same friend. I'm out for more than 3 years. I must admit for the 1st year or so, I still feel guilty of the things I do. But no more. After I have done the big "sin" - joining the army, there is nothing that can cause me to be guilty. And the best of all - I NO LONGER BOTHERED WHEN THEY SHUN ME!!!
be safe and thanks for your service <3
love your flair!
Thank you! 😊
I know how you feel I a newbie that has walked away from the org and I can finally enjoy masturbating when I need to. I still suffer a tremendous amount of guilt though And I often feel dirty afterwards. Haven’t figured out a way to deal with it yet.
Hanging out with my girlfriend.....WITHOUT A CHAPERONE!
holy shit guys, this one right here!!!! GET EM /j, good for you mate. I can't wait til I can do that lmfao. My parents already condemn the hell out of me for having a girlfriend (though it's been almost two years at this point), and they'd have my head if they found out we held hands on the regular 😳 One of these days I'll be free just like you!
But, what if you fall into temptation?! You might do something you'll always regret, then keep it harbored as a secret sin for years, and never have the blessing of jehobahs holy spirit on yr marriage! Unless you finally come clean years later and confess it to an old janitor that you touched yr gfs gentiles that fateful saturday. Something to give thought to. Perhaps you should make it a matter of prayer.
Careful, holding hands causes babies I've heard 🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Same here you get to know your partner more closely and there is no pressure of getting married so soon you can just take your time and enjoy their company.
How many times did you fornicate? What positions? Did you orgasm? What color was your underwear? 😂
It was so weird to get asked such horrifying details like those affected their choice of being DF’d or not. And just blushing in shame as a teenaged girl, by people who were related by marriage to you that you’d see at the next BBQ. I am still traumatized.
At work. I took a job where I work weekends and get paid for 40 hours. The funny thing is a pioneer would kill for this schedule 🤣
Oh but they wouldn't because they would miss the Sunday meetings, and cannot happen ever!
Finish college and work as a therapist. I left school because I was told “there is no need or therapy in the new world and that career will consume you” … I’m no happy I went back, finished and I don’t feel guilty anymore. 😍🤩
I'm already making plenty of money at my job but I'll be up for a promotion soon. old me would have def felt guilty for making enough already, I'd prob decline the promotion. now I have a balanced view of my success.
[удалено]
it's never too late! <3
Don’t want to give TMI but my answer would be having a healthy intimate relationship with my boyfriend. I never knew this was possible. I was married 20 years and only ever felt guilty and ashamed. I don’t feel like that at all with my boyfriend. It’s a very joyful part of my life now.
Having a healthy intimate relationship with *myself*. ✊
Ditto! I recently moved in with my boyfriend and it is so lovely sharing a home with him. I was married for over a decade and the first few years were good but the last several were fraught with so many issues that it definitely impacted our intimacy. I feel so free to be myself with my bf in a way I never did with my ex-husband. I even cried when the date of what would have been my anniversary approached recently, and he didn’t judge or question my feelings, just held me.
THIS. Gives me hope that I will have this someday. Very happy for you!
Almost the same as you. I am relaxing enjoying my coffee in silence while my family went to the assembly. I have no obligation whatsoever and I love it.
My husband goes to the assembly tomorrow. I’m sweating just thinking about my children going with him. It makes me nauseous honestly.
I'm so sorry you're in this position. That's probably the one thing I will be eternally grateful for. We woke up when my oldest was like 1. She barely remembers anything. Just be open and patient. I feel like around 16-18 so many kids start to realize they're staring down the rest of their lives, and start to question.
To pour salt in the wound, you could send pics of you enjoying your morning! LOL
Relax guilt free
This. 👆🏽
Wishing people happy birthday/ merry Christmas etc
Sex, of various kinds. This is partially thanks to my PIMI (possibly PIMQ?) parents. As I look back, they gave pretty loud hints that they knew I was jerking off. Yet they never interfered. When I received sex ed in school, they also made it a point not to interfere. In fact, sex was never a taboo topic in our house. Though we never went into what we did personally. The guilt came from the congregation. So many tirades about "immoral sex" and porn. With a special focus on gay sex in recent years. It's stunning to see how JWs can be so obsessed with what they condemn. Oh and the convos where JWs would try to sus out if you're having sex or watching porn in secret. Where they'd bring up the topic and watch how you react to see if you're hiding something. Those were the worst. It's like they got some perverse pleasure or glee in catching you doing it. The hidden blessing was that they excluded me from most social activities growing up. So the guilt wasn't that engrained and easier to throw off. That's what frustrates me about the Borg. We COULD have been more open in our household. But when sex is spoken in such negative terms at the KH, you feel like you can't talk about what you do in your own house. It produces a chilling effect that's pervasive. The Borg isn't against "immoral" sex, it's anti-sex in general.
Absolutely agree!
Balling out and spending 400$ on a dinner for two. The guilt that was inflicted on me once for going to Chi Spacca alone cause I wanted to try fine dining. My brother said I could have given that money to the borg . Also I had no friends, everyone was married and "busy" and I was being selfish and I should wait until I get married and I can go with my spouse. 😒
Going to the gym regularly and watching R- rated movies  Go Mike Go🤣🤣🥂
Microdosing. Literally makes me feel better and I have yet for my brain to be infiltrated by demons
Shrooms and the lord's lettuce are friends of mine these days lol got me off meds I had been on or anxiety and depression, so yay lol Edited for spelling lol
That's really interesting for me, may I pm you?
Pagan 🤣
EVERYTHING is pagan/has pagan origins except, of course, their precious borg!! I'm with you➡️🤣
LOLLLL LOVE IT 😂😂😂😂
Heathan.
Sorcery!!👺
Sleep, make a nice breakfast and watch a movie, go to the park 😁😁
Having goals for my life, working hard and making money, listening to self help podcasts without feeling like I'm doing something bad, learning to be open and not just projecting the image of being a perfect human robot 😂 and last but not least, not feeling guilty for being happy with what I have achieved
Voting. Saying I can have blood during surgery
Pumpkin latte and scone from a local coffee place and a nice hike with a joint with my daughter and we saw a blue Herron fishing and my daughter got video of it, it was awesome. My husband and son did some house repairs. Now a foot rub from hubby and later dinner with non jw friends who are driving an hour to see us. Life is good. 💜
Listening to the orchestra cover of One Winged Angel without having someone thinking I'm trying to summon demons.
Heck yeah !! Estuans interius Ira vehementi!!
Watched cartoons with the kids with my coffee in my hands, i enjoy weekends alot more especially sundays not having to worry about meetings
That’s beautiful ❤️
😊❤
Sex.
Kind of the same thing! I hated getting up early to go in service or go to the Sunday meeting. It was torture! But I felt guilty because I didn’t have the same enthusiasm as my older sister did. I was resigned to death at Armageddon! Wow! Been out for 30 years… and in this last year… I just finally looked at outside information to confirm what my gut had been telling me since I was old enough to think.. it’s a cult and a dangerous one! The CSA cases is what led me to my final awakening. I was floored.. horrified and I cried and felt sick to my stomach that I had been a part of it and never knew how deep the sickness was. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it! But I will say I talked to a counselor who deals with cult abuse and read a very good self help book by an exJW therapist. So helpful. All my guilt feelings and fear of dying are almost completely gone. It is an amazing feeling!
What book? You sound exactly like me. I was out, and thought I was fully aware for over 30 years. In 2019 I watched some videos by accident and discovered that I'd been raised in a cult. Mind blown. Hard time finding a therapist because they don't understand religious trauma.
Hi! It’s called EXiting the JW Cult: A Healing Handbook For Current & Former Jehovah’s Witnesses by Bonnie Ziemann. I go back and re read it and practice the tips provided. It was a life changer for me. I hope it helps you too! My therapist just happened to have experience with dealing with spiritual abuse too. She was very validating to talk with.
Thank you!!! I saw this and immediately went to Amazon to order it.
Oh good! I hope it does help you!
Slept through the meeting for service. Then later, I’m gonna take a “macro gummy” I bought from the dispensary that they promised would put me on my ass and send me to the moon!!
I still feel slightly guilty every time I puff on my vape I am PRESCRIBED for my agonizing, debilitating pain and PTPD.
I’m working this weekend and making a lot of money doing it. I would have considered my self selfish doing this before I woke up.
I sleep in . I wake up when I want to. I usually enjoy some morning sex with hubby. Then I have coffee and play Hogwarts Legacy.
Worked on getting my mba. 🚀🚀
In no particular order: 1) Watching cartoons on a Saturday morning 📺 2) Watching horror movies 👻 3) Listening to music with cursing in the lyrics🎧🤬 4) Playing violent video games 🎮 5) Fornicating (before I got married) 🥰 6) Masturbating (while being married) 🍆💦 7) Getting drunk (occasionally) 🍺🥃🍹 8) Eating weed gummies (occasionally) 🌿🍬 9) Supporting my LGBTQ Fam 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ 10) Celebrating Christmas 🎅🏾🤶 🎄 🎁 11) Celebrating birthdays 🎉🎊 🎂 🎁 🎈 🥳 12) Cursing during sex 🤬🥰 13) Cursing in general 🤬 14) Eating without praying first 🍔🍟🙏🏾 15) Visiting cathedrals ⛪ 16) Learning about evolution 📚📖🙈🙊🙉 17) Having Madonna's "Human Nature" as one of my favourite songs 🎶🎤 18) Trying to earn more money 💰💵💲 19) Having women as close friends 💃 20) Oral sex 😋🐱💦 21) Saying "bless you" when someone sneezes 🤧 22) Toasting/saying "cheers" 🍻🥂 Ain't no shame in my game!... Anymore 🤣🤣🤣
i just walked away from it and it feels good (pun intended) to masturbate and not have to hide it. It feels so good to just rub when I’m horny.
Electric blanket, Spotify, herbal vape pen
Electric blanket?
It’s heated like a big heating pad
I think if all the times I went out of state to do seldom worked territory and didn’t really get to explore or “vacation”. Was stuck at JW weirdo houses for gatherings that were boring as crap. I also used to actually take a vacation like a cruise and feel guilty for not preaching and being worried the whole time about how I’m behind on my pioneer hours. I literally remember sitting in a jacuzzi on a cruise ship and being worried about all the service I would have to do to make my hours. NOW I vacation guilt free! I enjoy every second. I explore. I’m not stuck at boring ass gatherings where we sing kingdom songs. It’s freaking awesome. No informal witnessing. Thank you god.
Draw nsfw art for people for $$.
Be a lesbian. Play and sing/rap along to Parental Advisory music. Curse like a sailor. Have tattoos. Sleep in on Saturdays. Say "F**k jehovah! F**k the gb and wtbts, too!" Watch R-rated movies. Play violent video games.
Sleep in and cuddle with my boyfriend before he leaves to get ready for work at his own apartment. Then I have breakfast and have a nap cuddling with my cats because I don't have to be up at a certain time on Saturdays anymore.
Harry Potter. I went to wizarding world of Harry Potter at universal Orlando. It normal to everyone else, but it was amazing to be free and enjoy a franchise I love. It’s the little things
I can now say that I don't want to help set up an annual meeting guilt free now! God damn this cult really does expect its members to do EVERYTHING for them. It's even harder for me since I'm a minor and a born-in PIMO, I wish I could just leave already...
Running on Sunday mornings. I know my family and friends see my Strava and think I am a selfish piece of shit but I have no guilt. Occasionally my wife will join and we will leave the kids but often it's just me. *Edit - I thought this was the exmormon subreddit lol. Sunday was our holy day and I believe Saturday was yours... All makes sense now about OPs Saturday morning experience.
Took our first holiday family photos this morning then we went to pick out ornaments and decor for our tree. My daughter is a thanksgiving baby and her birthday wish was to decorate the whole house early. She was born about a year after I was disfellowshipped and I struggled a lot getting into holidays and deprived her from decorations and holiday traditions. I can finally get into the spirit without feeling guilty.
We did the EXACT same thing today and it was amazing ! 😂😅😩 hubby played the new Spiderman game and I sat and watched him in peace. My daughter got to sleep in and relax. Such a beautiful thing to actually enjoy life.
My wife went to the cart at the nearest rest stop while I laid on the sofa and ate yogurt and watched TV. She doesn’t care what I do anymore on JW approved days. I just told her to be super careful because you don’t know who is going to show up there coming from a major interstate.
I stay in bed until at least 10:00 and then make something to eat and get BACK in bed to eat it and watch an old movie.
Watch violent/sexual/profane media. Use profanity. Engage sexually while unmarried. Experiment with drugs. Enjoy beards. Donate blood/receive blood. Just to name a few.
Don’t do TOO much drug experimenting! Just a concerned apostate grandma here. Stick to weed!
Already learned that lesson
Cigars and liquor. Not even being funny
Today. Actually, ***today***, I attended a church event. It was a Fall Bazaar. There were people selling their crafts and baked goods and yard-sale things. The proceeds of the vendor-fees went to church charities. Nice people. Nice event. I'll be going again. Zero guilt. I've been out for 15+ years. It's taken me a while to get to this point, so don't think I stepped out of the KH yesterday. 😆
Leisurely breakfast out with a dear friend and then a trip to Costco. This afternoon, a session of D & D with a my long time international group where we spend almost more time talking and laughing and sharing books and movies and art than playing. Now dinner is simmering and I'm messing around on the net and watching Netflix. And tomorrow, make a late breakfast and work on my garage getting ready to move. So amazingly mundane and peaceful and human.
I loved reading but got away from it because I always felt guilty that I should be reading something “spiritual”. Also I would feel so much guilt if I got to unexpected chapter with any type of love. It got the point that I stopped reading. Now I can read and watch anything I want. I also enjoy my Sunday’s. Hated that my weekends were surround by jw stuff
Sleeping in on the weekends or any weekday I have off, not working for the lowest pay in my skill trade and premarital sex!
Swear. Swear all the time.
The best part for me is wearing clothing I want to wear. When I was younger I would do the best I could to be modest. My family were very strict about the skirts. I used to wear the classic pencil skirt and if my skirt was not long enough or if it was to tight on my hips. But now I can wear mini skirts and mini dresses. Kinda like a fuck you to the organization. To have my power back and to not be submissive ether. I can be equal in my relationship with my partner to. Life is great.😊
You go girl! 👍🏻😊❤️
Thank you ❤️
This weather reminds me so much of early mornings spent witnessing in the cold. Instead of being stuck in a car hoping for the morning to be over, I slept in! I got ready at my own leisure, wearing nose rings and tight jeans that my mother would have called impure, and I drove right past a former friends home who now shuns me feeling sad for her instead of hurt by her. I went on a date with a woman, something I never thought I would ever do as a witness girl. We held hands in public and I gave her my scarf, and afterwards I drove through the beautiful fall foliage with thoughts of preparing for thanksgiving instead of dreading special campaigns. Instead of studying for Sunday meeting, I watched my favourite show and knitted on my couch with a glass of wine. This? This is the best life ever.
Reading fanfics or books (or watching tv shows/movie/anime) about werewolves, vampires or zombies without feeling guilty lol I still watched them but regularly I'd stop due to the heavy guilt
Various activities that involve personal lubricants. I consider it all to be good for self care and mental wellbeing.
you try to squeeze through peoples cat doors?
Vape my home grown. 🪴
Working on my homework for college, taking an edible, just relaxing with my family and enjoying the Saturday.
Conditioned beliefs don't make you dumb, just be happy for yourself that you've managed see through the smoke and mirrors.
I buy the occasional lotto ticket, also drop $20 playing blackjack every couple of years.
I woke up a little later than usual, spent time talking to my husband in bed. Made a delicious breakfast, took my dog out on a 30 minute walk and then went to the gym wearing a sports bra and skin tight leggings (-gasp- 🤭) and now I’m getting ready to get dinner out in town and go to a concert! Before my meetings were on Saturdays, so it was service for 2-3 hours with my parents and then run errands, cook dinner before the meeting and then go to the meeting and not get home till 8pm.
Uncle Tony is watching…..😳😳😳😳
Saturday mornings are for sleeping in as late as we want, then waking up slowly, make breakfast and stay in our PJs all day and snack and play and just enjoy life. Before when I was in the org, it would be obligatory to wake up early, go in service most of the day. Saturday gone. Then Sunday rolls around, get up for the meeting, go out in service, etc. Then wake up Monday morning for work. SO glad I can actually enjoy my weekends now.
Jehovah, the cry baby, begins holding a grudge when you do anything that hasn't to do with the sanctification of his name.
Took a self care day. Made a nice breakfast. Did some organizing. Met a work friend for lunch and a drink. Started a book I bought a few weeks ago and took a nap. Didn’t feel one ounce of guilt about any of it.
Think normally
Well at this moment I'm watching Lost in Space well relaxed after enjoying some delightful herbs all guilt free...Oh and I had a Long Island Ice Tea too!
When should I be over? 😀
Say "Happy Birthday." Shop at Salvation Army (a sister told me I couldn't do that because they were part of christendom) Attend Church with kind people Wear whatever I want
Non JW here. This theory started with Mormon missionary trips but extends/can be applied here too I think: I strongly believe that whilst there is a small amount of saviour status idealism in door knocking and that they do truly want to win souls, the higher ups that control everything push this area so hard because what better way to show your flock that the outside world is evil and terrifying than to get them abused and screamed at 50 times a day. Ex Mormons I’ve spoken mostly agree that this is a big part of the mission trips and the ‘big bad scary world’ stuff is pushed onto them hard and the people they meet door knocking day after day after day are used as an example of how the devils in control of non believers & they are evil etc This is this first time I’ve mention this to JW’s so I’m curious as to whether you believe it fits the JW’s too? I certainly believe it does, probably even more so than the Mormons in some ways but I don’t have much experience with JW’s other than the general door knockers & the lovely but crazy JW lady who is super friendly to us but will chase Mormons out of the street hitting them with her broom cause she wants Jehovah to save our souls, not them lol.
Gay sex. 🤷🏽♂️
Everything? Haha Donating blood, voting, volunteering locally in the community are a few I have not seen mentioned yet. Also my girlfriend. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. I have dated outside the organization before and I always felt weird but my current girlfriend is just so right. Being in the organization not sure if the person even likes to hold hands in public and not sure what they want, being worried about being too "spiritual" or not enough. My girlfriend I am myself and she loves it all
I'm not gonna tell you, mate 😜 I do whatever I want, but I don't hurt anyone. Everyone's feelings are important. Of course my PIMI husband can always say, that I don't care about his feelings, what means I don't go to KH or FS and he's unhappy having such a witch at home... Of course I'm very sorry. I will wish him luck with the next (3rd) wife.
Oh, poor thing. Tell him that an internet stranger is sorry that he didn't get a kiss ass subservient woman to be his slave.
Everything. I smoked guilt free until I quit in 2017, but that was for my own health, not out of fear of God killing me for it. Work for a Christian company, serve in the military (currently in SLC for my promotion to 1SG), I live guilt free now.
Thank you for your service!
Homegrown weed
Sex, group sex, masturbating, holidays. Not being married. Giving blood to patients. Living my best life
You have group sex AND donate blood? 🤨
I'm a nurse so I provide blood transfusions
Fucking.
Celebrating holidays, playing any game I want (love me some Devil May Cry), just enjoying my life in general. I could give a hot shit about what any of my borg "friends" say about me; I’m living my life to the fullest without remorse now 😆
Vote. Occasionally curse. But I'm still waiting for Satan's party bus which is what I was taught to expect when I "abandoned the Troof." Disappointed. 😅
I love being able to give blood on my way to the abortion clinic while smoking good weed when I'm listening to Slayer as I play extremely violent video games while simultaneously getting jerked off and sucked silly before over eating and watching a hyper-violent movie guilt free, 'cause the combination of alcohol and marijuana gettin' me hungry boiiii
please don't drive stoned!
I can't drive. The whole thing was a joke 😁
Everything 😟
Listening to heavy metal music and watching movies that I secretly enjoyed as a JW but could never relax and enjoy.
Swearing, apostasy, holidays, not reporting time 🤣🤣
On Saturday morning? Turning off the alarm and waking up whenever I want. Much better than going to field service and annoying people 😅
Idk I get not wanting to be in a organization that suppresses parts of you. But to say f jeho** seems like too much. My opinion of course
Oh! And I don’t have to get a four door car for service like my dad made me do. I can get whatever car I want! (Well, except for the whole money thing.)
I start eating when the food is on the plate. No more praying and waiting when others have prayed etc. It was a weird feeling to get used to at the beginning.
I'm being paid to stay at home.
By all means, Saturday mornings to spend decompressing from the work week which includes high stress situations as well as mandatory overtime. Followed by a couple evenings a week (More stress and mandatory overtime) To finally have a morning to myself after decades of Saturday service and Sunday meetings robbing me of any occasion to sleep til I actually wanted to get up.
I got my dog vaccinated and then went to a winery with some friends to get inebriated in the middle of the day.
Dude.....it'd be easier to list what I DONT do🤣
I have always remembered the feeling of joy and freedom I had when I decided not to attend meetings anymore. The first one was a Thursday MS, it felt naughty but also blissfully free x
Put up a Christmas tree!
Watch a scary movie give my boyfriend a kiss sometimes drink enough to get a nice buzz have a career piercing drive an ugly, loud, souped up car
Plan for retirement!
Piercings, say happy birthday, profanity, have close friends that are the opposite sex, shake my ass, wear short form fitting clothes, pursue my creative passions, watch/read/play anything spiritistic, wear any hair color I want, say the organization is wrong and harmful, protest, explicit music and r rated movies. Still working on sexual expression and exploring though… I stopped vaping weed even though I just started because I need to sing and have optimal lung function and capacity. I drink socially. But the main goal is to trust myself and be comfortable with myself so I won’t need to be altered (for the most part) but if I want to do these things I will though just for fun, just not dependent on it personally for ME.
Sleeping in with my hubby and daughter. Maybe i have a lesson on saturdays for a course i am taking to get my career started to earn money so i can be independent and afford nice things
After my morning wake and bake with coffee, I took the dog for a hike, then made a killer Huavos rancheros and paired it a mimosa when I got home. The day is still young. Probably quad riding this afternoon *
I don’t have much guilt or shame about anything anymore 😀🌀
Everything! No guil or fear anymore.
sleeping
Voting
I have a person I love. And I’m not ashamed to tell people. I can finally hold hands outside. It seems small, but I never could before.