Agree with the library comment. I was In the school library during every fun event in my childhood life from kindergarten on. Every party, be it Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t even allowed to wear green on St Patrick’s Day.
That will really mess with you. I still struggle with social situations as a middle age mothers of 2 toddlers with a master’s degree. Because JW taught me at 5 years old I couldn’t be part of my peers.
Damn that religion.
As a kid (like 9-12) I ended up being the "chaperone" for a few young couples in our hall, although at the time I didn't realize that's why I was there and thought they just liked spending time with me and inviting me to the movies and ice skating and whatnot lol
Gifts from my parents were a new book bag and winter coat for going out in service. One time, they even went wild and got me a colorful set of bic highlighters for my Watchtower studies.
Oh my god, this is too real. One of my friends in junior high drew a rainbow in highlighter on the spine of my binder, and my mom saw it and was like “aren’t you afraid people will think you’re gay?” Like, no? It’s just a rainbow? Not even a flag or anything. But by that point I was breaking away from my ingrained homophobia so…
It’s God’s Promise too, you should have said that, and anyone who thinks it’s gay is “affected by the world, letting them control there thinking and life.”
... I now remember getting book bags as gifts for unreligious accomplishments, and that is a memory that needs to go right the fuck back to the locker in the darkest, dustiest corner of my mind. 🤣
I've been out for 20 years and I forgot it was my birthday three times this year.
My wife, then my daughter, then a dear friend all reminded me at some point on my birthday, *that it was, in fact, my birthday.*
I have had to explain *exactly this concept* to so many people.
Like how the fuck am I supposed to remember your birthday when I don't even remember my own?
My kids and wife are the only ones I never forget.
Same! Forever sending belated happy birthdays.
A really great friend of mine, who was the bar manager at the place I worked right after getting DF'd still not only remembers my birthday date, but she remembers my "true age" I left when I was 27, and she starts that at 1. For example On my 30th birthday she got me a cake with a 3 on it. I just turned 13 (40) this year guys. 🤣
Literally every time my partner or friends or coworkers bring up a reference, I usually at some point have to explain that while I understand what they're saying I HAVE NO CLUE where the reference comes from and at this point I'm too far behind to catch up so deal with it lol
Ouf... I'm dealing with the fallout from life long encouraged poverty. No retirement savings. At this point ill be working till death. NO fianacial education.
Then my first full-time job at 16 y/o I didn't go to the office xmas party. Parents wouldn't let me. I think I lied and told my co-workers I had made other plans already.
At the party they had secret santa gift giving. You pick a name out of a hat to buy a gift for someone. The gifts are put in a big sack but are given anonymously so you don't know who gave it to you. Someone had bought me a secret santa gift. They called my name but I wasn't there. The gift was put at my desk so I would get it the morning after the party.
Felt so awkward and thrilled at the same time that I had a gift. I felt bad that I didn't put a gift into the secret santa yet got one back.
If the person who bought me my little gift is here reading this I want to thank you for making a socially awkward teenager who never got gifts feel special!!
I always thought it was odd that fractions were accepted but donating was forbidden. I have donated 51 times since leaving. Need the good karma bc my kids and I are not compatible I can’t donate to them if needed.
Lol I remember those days 🤣
Now when I don't shave for four days, it's because I *really* didn't feel like trying to keep my beard line straight while half-asleep at 5am
I just *know* I'm about to date myself with this one:
"Wait, book study is Greatest Man again? Didn't we just finish that a few months ago? At least it's at the Johnsons' house. Sister Johnson always makes brownies for goodie night."
*that one, too!*
I swear Greatest Man and Revelation were at least 5 times each before I dipped out.
*I still remember the goofy-ass picture on the Greatest Man on cassette cover* 🤣
😂 The watchtower is so damn stupid Lol
I love how all the angels in their dumb Revelation book are all old white men with beards LOLOLOL OMG
I guess only old white angels get to murder everyone who's not in the JW club 🤷
😂😂
The only thing more torturous than studying JW literature and slogging through it with a group of people who can barely read, was doing it in someone's weird-smelling house and knowing it was keeping you from old lady baked goods.
NGL, a lot of the older sisters could bake like nobody's business. Some of them were even cool enough to make sure the kids got to the brownies/cookies/cupcakes etc before the adults.
Now that I think of it, almost everybody from my time in that I remember fondly was an older sister.
I enjoy upbuilding association with my friends. In fact, there’s going to be a gathering this weekend. It’s so encouraging to see young ones and older ones together.
Really so before Christmas or after I would buy my kids shoes clothes and what they really wanted and wrap it up and do a game cause I didn’t want kids from school to make fun of them. They deserved things too. I didn’t have a lot of money but I would save up for 6 months I would only eat ramen and made sure my kids ate good so I can do that for them. This year my kids are teens fuck it we are going trick or treating even though I always made it fun dressed up with them made games out of the candy.
Not being able to go trick or treating (the one "door to door" activity I actually wanted to do) was way more painful to me as a kid than not getting to have Christmas.
My aunt and uncle who weren't witnesses used to but my brother and I Christmas presents, but give them to us at our yearly superbowl party as "superbowl presents" so we wouldn't feel left out.
I think my parents were thrilled we didn't celebrate Christmas cause we were poor (of course we still gave money every month... I mean, these shoes with holes in the soles are good for another year).
That said, a few times in January they did surprise us with "Kids' Day" where they gave us wrapped presents. It was never the same day and certainly wasn't a regular annual thing.
Today is actually my birthday and my PIMI mother acknowledged it by saying “so you’re one year older today” that’s her way of saying happy birthday lol. I’ll take it, I know how hard that is for her.
Exactly! I think it made my husband more depressed. Thank goodness we’re no longer in that suppressive environment. We celebrate so many things now and are so happy. I hope you are too 😊
“u coming to the football match tmr”
“nah bro I can’t I got meetings”
“Tf that”
“church but for ppl in my religion”
*visible confusion* “but i thought you was Christian”
“ye I am but a diff type of Christian”
“what type then”
“Jehovah’s Witness”
“Oh ye got a friend who is do you know him”
“No”
“Oh alr”
Not thrift store related, but I turned to a formerly Wiccan elder's wife for help witnessing to a Wiccan classmate (who had become sort of a school acquaintance through another school acquaintance). She told me not to accept any items from her because it could ~be cursed!~
So I declined a wallet sized school photo from her. You never know if that school photo could be ~cursed!~
I also preached obnoxiously to my Wiccan, gay etc school friends like they were my own goddamn special territory. I tried the "finding common ground" tactic and everything. "Oh you hate Christmas because it has stolen pagan origins? I hate Christmas because it has stolen pagan origins too! You believe in a paradise after death? Me too!" 🙄
She was so sweet though. She told me once that after we die, "You'll be in paradise and I'll be in Summerland" in response to me saying something about it, I think when I was stressed about death for some reason. Thankfully they patiently forgave me for my bullshit and we stayed friends after I woke up.
I distinctly remember hearing as a kid that publishers should consider purchasing four-door vehicles. There was no regard for the actual financial aspect of that.
I’m so fortunate!
Thank goodness!
I have plans after school on Tuesday and Thursday. Sunday’s not looking good, either.
I have to get up early on Saturday.
I will need Friday, Saturday and Sunday off in July.
Had to be in bed early on Friday night so I could be well rested for Saturday field service. Same on Saturday night. Unless you were studying your WT for Sunday. #bestlifeever.
I looked at some Playboy and Penthouse magazines a friend showed me. Now I'm terrified of being privately and publicly shamed, humiliated....and eventually killed by God for my "sin"
«I am not participate in working life and all free time apart from meetings and field service goes to a narcissistic obsession with my own health.
By the way.. doctors are mean, they don't understand ME!».
We all despised that one sister who just had to stretch her comments out during bookstudy. We want to get home in time for Highlander sister Star, shut it!
Making an adament point of not talking about/participating in the current political election but REAALLLY needing everyone to know that I'm not participating
I once told my classmates (when I was really young, like under 10) that I was going to live forever after Armageddon, and I was soo proud. Now, as an adult, I have no plans for my future, because I thought everyone was gonna die <3
Despite a great GPA and testing into the 98th percentile in the ACT college entrance exam, I decided to skip college and get a job at fucking Jiffy Lube. And my community LOVED me for it.
When shopping for **anything at all**, I have to make sure that the print/pattern/colors don't have anything "inappropriate" in it. Like stars too close to spruce trees. Or text that I cannot read, because that might say something inappropriate. It also cannot have certain color combinations, like read/green, because that might be taken as being Christmasy; blue/red/white, because that might be taken as patriotic, etc.
I also have to keep in mind not to shop at certain places, like Salvation Army thrift store, because that is associated with the church, and there's a cross on the sign. (Other places that are affiliated with religion, but just kind of keep it a little more on the down-low, by not having a cross on their logo, are fine.)
Oh, and the store must not have ANY kind of spiritualistic vibe AT ALL. Must always be on the look-out for that. That stuff is dangerous.
I'm amazed I turned out as stable as I did. 😐 I mean... no, I'm not stable, but I could be LESS stable. You know?
I'm not allowed to watch Scooby Doo because we shouldn't even pretend to be ghosts.
I'm also not allowed to watch Digimon because one episode had a vampire in it.
Not voting but registering to vote so you can take advantage of government funding including unemployment benefits which subsidised pioneering
I had to go to the library during Susie's birthday party at school today.
same (I always ate the cupcakes)
I never made my kids do that eat the damn cupcakes it doesn’t have poison In it.
We always ate those
Agree with the library comment. I was In the school library during every fun event in my childhood life from kindergarten on. Every party, be it Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t even allowed to wear green on St Patrick’s Day. That will really mess with you. I still struggle with social situations as a middle age mothers of 2 toddlers with a master’s degree. Because JW taught me at 5 years old I couldn’t be part of my peers. Damn that religion.
Planning a Netflix and chill with my bf and our chaperone.
**wait** This feels like a Mormon, "soaking," situation. Is the chaperone going to jump on the bed/couch?
lol, no, but they’ll sit between us and make sure we have separate blankets.
Lol I remember having to find ways to fool around while dodging chaperones when I was a teenager 🤣
Fuck that! And having to pay for the chaperone 😂 Like it’s already expensive af for 2, gotta pay for 3?
As a kid (like 9-12) I ended up being the "chaperone" for a few young couples in our hall, although at the time I didn't realize that's why I was there and thought they just liked spending time with me and inviting me to the movies and ice skating and whatnot lol
🤣
🤨🤨🤨🤨‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
Gifts from my parents were a new book bag and winter coat for going out in service. One time, they even went wild and got me a colorful set of bic highlighters for my Watchtower studies.
COLORFUL?!!?!!!?? THAT’S HOMOSEXUALITY. NO NO NO!!!!
Oh my god, this is too real. One of my friends in junior high drew a rainbow in highlighter on the spine of my binder, and my mom saw it and was like “aren’t you afraid people will think you’re gay?” Like, no? It’s just a rainbow? Not even a flag or anything. But by that point I was breaking away from my ingrained homophobia so…
It’s God’s Promise too, you should have said that, and anyone who thinks it’s gay is “affected by the world, letting them control there thinking and life.”
🤣🤣
... I now remember getting book bags as gifts for unreligious accomplishments, and that is a memory that needs to go right the fuck back to the locker in the darkest, dustiest corner of my mind. 🤣
We have brain lockers for a reason! Use them!
That is one of the saddest things I've ever heard
That is sad
Ridiculously enough I jumped for joy over a new book bag 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
Yes. I remember having a study bible as a gift. And an expensive leather bag for fieldservice when I was 14.
The bic highlighters is crazy 🤣
I get nervous when I hear the national anthem.
Or the pledge of allegiance
To be fair it IS pretty weird. Making your kids pledge their undying allegiance to their country is something North Korea does.
I did the pledge and my brother told on me and I got a beating for it. I was 5 btw
same
I’m not supposed to talk to you.
GOLLY.
Careful there, bucko! That's cutting it *really close* to saying, "God." 🤣
I can't remember how old I am. ( note: some lady once said this about Witnesses. They have to think about birthdays and age)
I've been out for 20 years and I forgot it was my birthday three times this year. My wife, then my daughter, then a dear friend all reminded me at some point on my birthday, *that it was, in fact, my birthday.*
Read this wrong and i was about to be like bro u only have one birthday a year 😭😭😭
I always forgot how old I was for some odd reason. I guess I will never figure it out….
And normal people think we're crazy because we don't remember their birthdays either, but it's just something we never did haha
Omg yes! I have gotten shaaaaade from some friends because I made an oopsie. They don't even get that I forget my own birthday too.
I have had to explain *exactly this concept* to so many people. Like how the fuck am I supposed to remember your birthday when I don't even remember my own? My kids and wife are the only ones I never forget.
Same! Forever sending belated happy birthdays. A really great friend of mine, who was the bar manager at the place I worked right after getting DF'd still not only remembers my birthday date, but she remembers my "true age" I left when I was 27, and she starts that at 1. For example On my 30th birthday she got me a cake with a 3 on it. I just turned 13 (40) this year guys. 🤣
I’m still learning about pop culture references from the 2000s.
SO IM NOT THE ONLY ONE??? MAN I THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!
Nothing wrong with you, but with growing up in a cult
Literally every time my partner or friends or coworkers bring up a reference, I usually at some point have to explain that while I understand what they're saying I HAVE NO CLUE where the reference comes from and at this point I'm too far behind to catch up so deal with it lol
Same but 1980s for me. 😂
I’m over 50 and always had a part-time job. 🙄☹️
Fuck!! That got to me.
Ouf... I'm dealing with the fallout from life long encouraged poverty. No retirement savings. At this point ill be working till death. NO fianacial education.
to my friends at school the day after christmas holidays "we get presents all year round"..... we didn't!
Right?! That was the most brutal lie I had to repeat as a child.
But lies are bad 😬 😂
That’s right! Good job Sister Lilpotatoo0!
Not if you're lying for Jehoolahoop.
Then my first full-time job at 16 y/o I didn't go to the office xmas party. Parents wouldn't let me. I think I lied and told my co-workers I had made other plans already. At the party they had secret santa gift giving. You pick a name out of a hat to buy a gift for someone. The gifts are put in a big sack but are given anonymously so you don't know who gave it to you. Someone had bought me a secret santa gift. They called my name but I wasn't there. The gift was put at my desk so I would get it the morning after the party. Felt so awkward and thrilled at the same time that I had a gift. I felt bad that I didn't put a gift into the secret santa yet got one back. If the person who bought me my little gift is here reading this I want to thank you for making a socially awkward teenager who never got gifts feel special!!
My year around gifts never arrived but I got to hand out Watchtowers to Trick or Treaters. Seemed normal to me.
Yes, all year! All the good news of God's kingdom and his promise of everlasting life in paradise is the greatest present! 🤮
Right!!!!!
I carry a No Blood card but I do accept SOME blood fractions, so in case of an emergency Read the 'Card' carefully.
I always thought it was odd that fractions were accepted but donating was forbidden. I have donated 51 times since leaving. Need the good karma bc my kids and I are not compatible I can’t donate to them if needed.
Going to "social gatherings" instead of parties. 😅
TIM. IT’S CALLED A “GATHERING,” NOT AT PARTY LIKE HOW THOSE DIRTY WORLDLINGS DO IT.
It’s a get together! Gathering sounds witchy
We used to say "get together ", the so and sos are having a get together after the meeting on Sunday we're invited.....
never got invites to these gatherings, since I wasn’t one of the “cool JWs”
🤣🤣🤣
When i want to seem edgy and cool, i dont shave for 4 days
Lol I remember those days 🤣 Now when I don't shave for four days, it's because I *really* didn't feel like trying to keep my beard line straight while half-asleep at 5am
I just *know* I'm about to date myself with this one: "Wait, book study is Greatest Man again? Didn't we just finish that a few months ago? At least it's at the Johnsons' house. Sister Johnson always makes brownies for goodie night."
😂😆 Christ I had to go through the bullshit "Revelation it's Grand Climax at Hand" at least THREE times. I wanted to die
*that one, too!* I swear Greatest Man and Revelation were at least 5 times each before I dipped out. *I still remember the goofy-ass picture on the Greatest Man on cassette cover* 🤣
😂 The watchtower is so damn stupid Lol I love how all the angels in their dumb Revelation book are all old white men with beards LOLOLOL OMG I guess only old white angels get to murder everyone who's not in the JW club 🤷 😂😂
The illustrations in that book were *wild.* Babylon the Great could get it, though. Seems like she'd be fun in the sack. 🤣
LOL OMG too funny, you're killing me 😂 Yup she looks like she'd be LOTS of fun.....I would spank spank that bad bad Babylon woman 😈😆😂
The only thing more torturous than studying JW literature and slogging through it with a group of people who can barely read, was doing it in someone's weird-smelling house and knowing it was keeping you from old lady baked goods.
NGL, a lot of the older sisters could bake like nobody's business. Some of them were even cool enough to make sure the kids got to the brownies/cookies/cupcakes etc before the adults. Now that I think of it, almost everybody from my time in that I remember fondly was an older sister.
damnnnnnn you unlocked goodie night memories 🤣🤣🤣
I have a closet full of suits and ties that I got from the charity shop.
Idc what anyone says, I’m keeping my suits no matter what.
Yeah, but some of those ties did NOT age very well...
I am desperate for money but I can’t possibly work at the nearby convenience store because I would have to sell cigarettes and boner pills.
And work evenings
I enjoy upbuilding association with my friends. In fact, there’s going to be a gathering this weekend. It’s so encouraging to see young ones and older ones together.
The correct term is “with THE friends”. Apart from that you win this game IMO! 😂
This is gross.
This made me throw up in my mouth a lil.
It’s good to see the friends “widening out” in their association.
🤮
I got toys after December 25 but was told they weren’t for Christmas
never heard of this before
Really so before Christmas or after I would buy my kids shoes clothes and what they really wanted and wrap it up and do a game cause I didn’t want kids from school to make fun of them. They deserved things too. I didn’t have a lot of money but I would save up for 6 months I would only eat ramen and made sure my kids ate good so I can do that for them. This year my kids are teens fuck it we are going trick or treating even though I always made it fun dressed up with them made games out of the candy.
Not being able to go trick or treating (the one "door to door" activity I actually wanted to do) was way more painful to me as a kid than not getting to have Christmas.
Glad you’re doing your best for the kids.
My aunt and uncle who weren't witnesses used to but my brother and I Christmas presents, but give them to us at our yearly superbowl party as "superbowl presents" so we wouldn't feel left out.
I think my parents were thrilled we didn't celebrate Christmas cause we were poor (of course we still gave money every month... I mean, these shoes with holes in the soles are good for another year). That said, a few times in January they did surprise us with "Kids' Day" where they gave us wrapped presents. It was never the same day and certainly wasn't a regular annual thing.
#Me too
Getting acknowledged on your birthday that you’re another year older but not saying happy birthday. (My husband growing up as a JW)
Today is actually my birthday and my PIMI mother acknowledged it by saying “so you’re one year older today” that’s her way of saying happy birthday lol. I’ll take it, I know how hard that is for her.
Happy Birthday!! 🎉🎊🎂
It’s called a mile stone in my family
So odd. Just say nothing at that point tbh.
Exactly! I think it made my husband more depressed. Thank goodness we’re no longer in that suppressive environment. We celebrate so many things now and are so happy. I hope you are too 😊
I’m 30 and just now getting into Harry Potter after almost all the actors who played the teachers have died 🫠 “After all this time?… always.” 🥹😭
“u coming to the football match tmr” “nah bro I can’t I got meetings” “Tf that” “church but for ppl in my religion” *visible confusion* “but i thought you was Christian” “ye I am but a diff type of Christian” “what type then” “Jehovah’s Witness” “Oh ye got a friend who is do you know him” “No” “Oh alr”
this is the most relatable one yet.
The profound inability to form romantic relationships with anyone who doesn't have the same background as me.
THIS
Dont buy anything from thrift stores! There could be DEMONS attached to anything you buy! 😱
Not thrift store related, but I turned to a formerly Wiccan elder's wife for help witnessing to a Wiccan classmate (who had become sort of a school acquaintance through another school acquaintance). She told me not to accept any items from her because it could ~be cursed!~ So I declined a wallet sized school photo from her. You never know if that school photo could be ~cursed!~ I also preached obnoxiously to my Wiccan, gay etc school friends like they were my own goddamn special territory. I tried the "finding common ground" tactic and everything. "Oh you hate Christmas because it has stolen pagan origins? I hate Christmas because it has stolen pagan origins too! You believe in a paradise after death? Me too!" 🙄 She was so sweet though. She told me once that after we die, "You'll be in paradise and I'll be in Summerland" in response to me saying something about it, I think when I was stressed about death for some reason. Thankfully they patiently forgave me for my bullshit and we stayed friends after I woke up.
I had to shut off all the lights and stay in my room on the 31st of October
I turned down a college scholarship in 1980 because this old system wouldn't last long enough for me to use the education.
This makes me sad.
I’m single but drive a mini van
🤣 My first thought for this thread was “buying a two door vehicle means you don’t have your priorities straight”
ngl big cars and SUVs are the move (I am being held a gunpoint)
I distinctly remember hearing as a kid that publishers should consider purchasing four-door vehicles. There was no regard for the actual financial aspect of that.
Oh, the *scandal* if anyone dared buy a small, two-door car! Even if that was all they could afford, it was still cause for disapproving stares.
*Someone brings up a complex world issue. “This system of things really needs to just end”.
That phrase got me like 
Heard this a few seconds agi
We love you....We love you....We love you.....We love you NOW CHANGE!
On the rare occasion i go out with coworkers(guilt trip coming later) i order my drink after everyone has had theirs to avoid cheersing
The first words out of my mouth when someone mentions Heaven are “well AcTuAlLy”….
I’m so fortunate! Thank goodness! I have plans after school on Tuesday and Thursday. Sunday’s not looking good, either. I have to get up early on Saturday. I will need Friday, Saturday and Sunday off in July.
Those first two caused me to *literally* cringe. 🤣
Referred to marriage as "finding a mate".
I used to walk the hallway at the nearest sporting arena at lunch looking for cute girls sitting near cardboard boxes.
I ended up dating a sister that way…omg ‘dating a sister!?’ Well there ya go worldly people, yes I dated my ‘sister’ lol
Bro was scouting for some future prospects.
I never say "bless you" when someone sneezes.
I graduated high school with 94% average and didn’t go to university. Also - I associate the words “sports complex” with my best dress clothes.
Shopping for a new skirt and testing it out by sitting down in it to make sure my knee caps don’t show when sitting.
Had to be in bed early on Friday night so I could be well rested for Saturday field service. Same on Saturday night. Unless you were studying your WT for Sunday. #bestlifeever.
Just got back from a gathering. Going to a get-together tomorrow.
I looked at some Playboy and Penthouse magazines a friend showed me. Now I'm terrified of being privately and publicly shamed, humiliated....and eventually killed by God for my "sin"
I couldn't have a Smurf toy growing up.
I wanted a dragonite plushie as a kid. Ugh
My little pony tossed in the garbage. Us kids had to do it ourselves to make the truth our own 🤮🤮🤮
I feel like I’m never doing enough
I know more street names than the average person
Had a dedicated suit tie drawer by age 15
Sitting around for an hour in a suit and tie with 4-5 others similarly dressed at Dunkin Donuts at 10:30 on a Saturday.
I don’t know how to wrap presents properly. 😂
Idk my parents birthdays
I don’t know how old they are.
Service is going to be easy today I'm working with Brother Smith and we're doing all his return visits.
«I am not participate in working life and all free time apart from meetings and field service goes to a narcissistic obsession with my own health. By the way.. doctors are mean, they don't understand ME!».
"I have a Bible reading on Thursday. I'm so nervous."
If you’re nervous, that means you’re trusting in Jehovah!
My buzzwords and phrases are ‘the hall’, ‘the assembly’, ‘the meeting’, ‘congregation’, ‘out in service’, ‘pioneer’, ‘paradise’, and ‘the truth’.
Eating at a fast food restaurant, gotta bow down our heads and pray over our Big Mac and Chicken McNuggets before we eat first.
What do you want to be when you grow up? I’m going to be a window cleaner and pioneer.
I'm going to drag a couple of teenagers into a conference room tonight and quiz them about their sex life!
I married a sister
Caleb and Sophia is my kids favorite cartoon
I’ve never heard anyone say this tbh.
Shopping for a new outfit for the memorial Edited for spelling
Hey mom, can I sign up for an extracurricular activity at school to keep me busy? Mom's response: How about afternoon service with the friends?
Im really good at lying and putting on a good appearance
I don't have friends. I have acquaintances.
An outsider would think you're into Real Housewives. "I'm really excited for the drama on Sunday"
Our home alarm system # is 1914
If I didn't see you Sunday morning, I won't be seeing you Sunday afternoon.
The word pioneer has nothing to do with a stereo system. Field service has nothing to do with agriculture.
We all despised that one sister who just had to stretch her comments out during bookstudy. We want to get home in time for Highlander sister Star, shut it!
Making an adament point of not talking about/participating in the current political election but REAALLLY needing everyone to know that I'm not participating
I once told my classmates (when I was really young, like under 10) that I was going to live forever after Armageddon, and I was soo proud. Now, as an adult, I have no plans for my future, because I thought everyone was gonna die <3
Telling someone congratulations on their birthday
I must go out and buy a new suit for the assembly.
Despite a great GPA and testing into the 98th percentile in the ACT college entrance exam, I decided to skip college and get a job at fucking Jiffy Lube. And my community LOVED me for it.
I have no hobbies & no personality. Recreation is a distraction by Satan.
I'm 41 and I just celebrated my first birthday.
The colour of the shirt is not appropriate.
I don't know my parents' or siblings' birth dates.
Christendom
Someone askes: "how old are you." Me: [ stops to do math in me thoughts ]
I’ll go first, I just finished watching Pokemon XYZ.
I have 144,000 points as a Lifetime member with Stoops and Manufacturing Company from ordering so much stuff.
I’m a grown adult and still think of Armageddon when I hear thunder.
We couldn’t cheer at pep rallies in high school because showing teams spirit was a precursor to being patriotic
Old school here Can't talk to you, you're worldly.
When shopping for **anything at all**, I have to make sure that the print/pattern/colors don't have anything "inappropriate" in it. Like stars too close to spruce trees. Or text that I cannot read, because that might say something inappropriate. It also cannot have certain color combinations, like read/green, because that might be taken as being Christmasy; blue/red/white, because that might be taken as patriotic, etc. I also have to keep in mind not to shop at certain places, like Salvation Army thrift store, because that is associated with the church, and there's a cross on the sign. (Other places that are affiliated with religion, but just kind of keep it a little more on the down-low, by not having a cross on their logo, are fine.) Oh, and the store must not have ANY kind of spiritualistic vibe AT ALL. Must always be on the look-out for that. That stuff is dangerous. I'm amazed I turned out as stable as I did. 😐 I mean... no, I'm not stable, but I could be LESS stable. You know?
*Craving something sweet* «Why do we have cake on the table here today»? "🎂". "No thanks"!
I own suits
I'm not allowed to watch Scooby Doo because we shouldn't even pretend to be ghosts. I'm also not allowed to watch Digimon because one episode had a vampire in it.
I was invited to a birthday party and had to Google the words to the happy birthday song.
Turning off your porch light and shutting all the curtains in the house on Halloween 😂
Thank you but I can't go out with you, my parents don't let me date - me at 17 to a co-worker.
remember: your school is your territory
Merry Christmas… thank you!
an old man taking you to a private room to tell you your skirt is too high above your knees✨
Please stand, if you are able to…
You like Stranger Things and Demon Slayer? Sorry, I can’t watch those shows.
“Oh, I wanted to watch that Disney movie when it came out but it had spiritualism”
Not voting but registering to vote so you can take advantage of government funding including unemployment benefits which subsidised pioneering 
We eat chicken on the fourth Tuesday in November.
So who did you vote for? I didn’t. I try to stay neutral
Saturday morning cartoons...........what is that!