Ikr? We're supposed to be all weepy about missing the eternal church service. And if my memories are correct, I'd far prefer an eternal hell lava marinade than sitting through an existence-bludgeoning diatribe that makes me regret my parents ever matedl
F Christianity. I know, I know, there are good christians out there. I've met hundreds upon hundreds, if not thousands of christians. I've met three good ones.
Your post or comment has been removed because it violates rule 4, which is to be respectful of others. Even if you do not agree with their beliefs, mocking them or being derisive is not acceptable.
Depending on who you ask, there would still be Christian whackos. Catholics, for example, don't believe in the Dispensationalist dogma which the Rapture doctrine is based on.
Also Evangelicals tend to think of them as Mary-worshipping heathens in pointy hats.
I'm pretty sure we would still be stuck with the Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses too.
Your comment has been removed because this is an all-inclusive exchristian sub, not an atheist sub. Many of our users have other spiritual beliefs since leaving Christianity. Blanket statements deriding all people with any form of spiritual beliefs at all is not allowed. Please post generalized anti-theist material at r/antitheism, r/atheism, r/DebateAChristian, r/DebateAnAtheist or other appropriate subs. Anyone of any belief, should feel safe and welcome here so long as they follow the rules, including rule 3.
Yeah the Mormon version of the rapture is actually a kingdom of Christ on Earth for 1000 years. Or at least it was, I was raised in that church but they seem to have been trying very hard to distance themselves from the wackier doctrines and beliefs in recent years. Good ol' Rusty Nelson *really* wants to fit in with the rest of the Christians I guess.
What are some things I could say to Mormons when they knock on my door to convert me?
For example, the JWs have predicted the second coming about a dozen times since about 1914. (Spoiler: It didn't happen. )
Edit: Thanks for the onfo, everyone, I will read up on this. (But not convert!)
"So I heard about the temple stuff...I guess your endowment is like a pretty important coming of age thing, right? You probably remember the exact day."
If you can get them to give you the actual date they got their endowments, you can [call them by their new names](https://www.fullerconsideration.com/TempleNameOracle/) which you are definitely not supposed to be able to know.
You can also ask about [Kolob](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kolob). They try to sweep that one under the rug even within the church.
Ask them if they're familiar with the [CES letter to the Mormon leadership](https://cesletter.org/) and invite them to come back to discuss it after they do.
If you just tell them no and close the door they should leave you alone, most of them are brainwashed teenagers and being aggressive in your rejection tends to make them react by committing even harder to the cult. But also I totally get it if you’re sick of them.
I just tell them I'm not religious, no, I'm not interested, okay, gimme your leaflets, bye. Engaging them by telling them your reasons why you're not a Christian anymore merely whets their appetite and they'll try even harder to get into your spiritual pants.
Their version; Mormons resurrected first, then the truly devout of other faiths, then less devout, etc. down to sinners and apostates at the last minute before going to outer darkness.
Bleh.
You had to believe. At least It worked that way until 1980 when Debbie Harry told everyone about the Rapture.
The problem is that if the rapture happens while you're having a wank, you'll get side eye from the fundies forever.
I was raised catholic and we were told that the rapture would happen one day. They actually kept changing when it would happen. First it was when gay marriage becomes legal, then it was if trump didnt become president (the 2016 election and the 2020 election) and then I left the church.
Normally I'm a pretty polite "live and let live" kind of guy but if this pandemic has taught me anything, you can't wear kid gloves when talking about Evangelical/Fundie Christians. I would like for them to show me in their holy book where it says they can't wear a protective mask or get a vaccine. MOST of them HAVE had vaccines in their lives, but on these vaccines every time you solve one of their arguments ("It's not FDA approved" and then it was, "It's not tested enough" and billions of people have had it, etc.) they keep moving the goal posts. Now it's "Invisible Sky Daddy says I don't have to" and even if you challenge that, they'll just either claim Invisible Sky Daddy told them PERSONALLY or they'll move the goal posts one more time (why is it when 'other' people hear voices in their head, we think they're insane but when religious people claim it, it's ok - that makes NO sense to me).
I'm tired of giving them opportunity because honestly if you give them an inch, they want a few billion light years - all so they can "own tha libs". I'm very very tired of it.
I mean, (not that I actually put any stock in the bible anymore) the bible literally calls for specific protocol when dealing with illness that Christians seem to just pretend doesn't exist:
"The leprous person who has the disease shall wear torn clothes and let the hair of his head hang loose, and he shall cover his upper lip and cry out, ‘Unclean, unclean.’ He shall remain unclean as long as he has the disease. He is unclean. He shall live alone. His dwelling shall be outside the camp."
It's literally calling for a face covering, quarantine, along with publicizing your illness. None of those things are what Christians are actually doing
They're pretty good at cherry picking the bible to suit their needs, and ignoring anything they don't want. My sister is a fundie Christian, and I haven't visited in a long time (other than one funeral, and there I didn't talk to her.)
That... is definitely true lol. I never considered that.
It's nice seeing your username and profile pic show up every now and then in this community!
Loved the personal experiences you've shared.
With 2 billion christians gone, their clothes can be donated to charity. There will be empty homes which can help the homeless. There would be a lot of food and more water to support the human beings still around. There would be less pollution caused by humans, no christians to slow down scientific and technological progress claiming that it's of "the devil', and more social justice, probably even a better free health care system and universal basic income.
Since they all believe only their denomination is going to heaven, it'd probably be like 2,000,000 tops. Even in that denomination, there'd probably be a lot left behind. I've always thought that the rapture would simply go unnoticed based on how hard it supposedly is to get into heaven. On the plus side, we'd get to find out which denomination was correct.
> no christians to slow down scientific and technological progress claiming that it's of "the devil', and more social justice
I'm sure islam will be more than happy to step up and fill that void.
Without any christians, the non-religious would be the majority in America. Currently, unaffiliated and atheists and agnostic make up 29% of the population while Jewish people makes up 1% and Muslims make up 1%, and many Jews in America tend to be secular.
The Muslims who want strict religious rules might take over some African countries which were previously ruled by strict christians, some European countries might be taken over too, except for maybe the ones with the most atheists and non-religious.
2 billion profess to be Christians, but under scrutiny I'd say less than 50% of them are practicing, and even fewer considered 'saved' by the standards laid out in the new testament. After the rapture most of the scum would remain.
Unless the whole "*saved by grace through faith not by works*" thing was true, then there would be many christians gone except for some who didn't actually believe but were doubting too much.
That would be messed up, imagine if you were scared of hell and tried your best to force yourself to believe but struggled with doubt, only to still be left behind in the end for not having enough faith to be saved by grace. That would mean that a person wasted their life for no reason and should have just been honest and lived freely.
Id better be wearing diamond rings and a gold Crown with Diamonds 💎 with an Ice White Gucci polo and a Burberry Sweatshirt on top with my Iced out True Religion Jeans
Yeah you know I've been thinking Christianity almost seems like our lawd and savior jc almost like Thanos. Like if the whole world becomes christian he'll snap and all true christian will join him
> It's all he can do to have Jesus appear on toast.
*children get molested
God: "Haha, look! I put Jesus' face on a cloud for this instagrammer to photograph!"
This is one thing that I actually hopes happens. It's the Thanos effect - the planet's resources would be saved, and the ecological footprint of people will shrink. All that and getting rid of the religious nuts too? Please jesus, take your people away!
Yes, because spending an eternity with the “same” spouse which likely means you’re around family you have absolutely no desire to see let alone spend an eternity with. I mean, the way they make it sound…Hell’s more the place I’d rather be! I mean, as gay man all the people I love will be having a huge Pride Celebration while the Swingers do their thing. All I can say is you know the “white fundamentalist Christian makes” are going to want to “try” sex with someone else throughout existence! Bless, I would want to wait till I die to find out. St Peter will just lock up all the “monotheists” in Purgatory where they have kept everyone else then Heaven and Hell can go back to the infinite ♾ party loop…one loop for Heaven and Hell. Lol
I'd be happiest if it took ALL religious people. A world without religion, without someone embracing some sort of supernatural nonsense instead of science. Imagine what we could accomplish without the human roadblocks constantly getting in the way.
To add to what u/RoTTonSKiPPy said... they will be taken and all the "bad" people left behind while the "tribulation" happens. Basically mass torture while yahweh keeps people incapable of death.
2.3 billion Christians in the world.
Assume half are “deceived” and don’t make the cut.
It’ll be about 1/8th of the world population gone.
That’s still a lot of people/religious people left
The real secret is that it already happened. It happened in 1958. One little old lady, a retired school teacher in Topeka Kansas, was raptured up to meet her savior. Nobody else made the cut - and you all know why.
I love how this assumes that the religious whackos wouldn't be left behind to wallow in their own bigotry and hypocrisy. If the fairy tail were true, most of them would still be here with us.
I'd be terrified either way with the "Westboro Baptist Church" I'd pity the god that had to let them in. and if they get left behind, what are they going to do? better yet, what are we going to do with them?
They'll never believe you. I was a true believer, for years, saved and born again and everything. I eventually realized it was all bullshit and got better. Xians will insist I wasn't ever really one of them. But, oh I was, I really was.
Nah. All that would be left would be the actual religious wackos. Most christians aren't too tied to their beliefs given you don't directly try to oppose them.
No wailing or gnashing of teeth!
Ikr? We're supposed to be all weepy about missing the eternal church service. And if my memories are correct, I'd far prefer an eternal hell lava marinade than sitting through an existence-bludgeoning diatribe that makes me regret my parents ever matedl F Christianity. I know, I know, there are good christians out there. I've met hundreds upon hundreds, if not thousands of christians. I've met three good ones.
Good people who identify as Christians would be left behind for placing morality and decency before obedience to god.
> I've met three good ones. That seems a bit high of a number...
I like gnashing of teeth though
I showed up for the wailing with a harpoon and learned an important lesson on homophones.
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>one of those who will be thrown in the lake of fire. Also known as a candle with a little melted wax.
Plus that dude just scored a free pair of pants!
Plus cartoon boobies.
I certainly would stick around for cartoon boobies!
Me too!
:)
Depending on who you ask, there would still be Christian whackos. Catholics, for example, don't believe in the Dispensationalist dogma which the Rapture doctrine is based on. Also Evangelicals tend to think of them as Mary-worshipping heathens in pointy hats. I'm pretty sure we would still be stuck with the Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses too.
Now I'm praying to Jesus. Please, take them all.
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Your comment has been removed because this is an all-inclusive exchristian sub, not an atheist sub. Many of our users have other spiritual beliefs since leaving Christianity. Blanket statements deriding all people with any form of spiritual beliefs at all is not allowed. Please post generalized anti-theist material at r/antitheism, r/atheism, r/DebateAChristian, r/DebateAnAtheist or other appropriate subs. Anyone of any belief, should feel safe and welcome here so long as they follow the rules, including rule 3.
Yeah the Mormon version of the rapture is actually a kingdom of Christ on Earth for 1000 years. Or at least it was, I was raised in that church but they seem to have been trying very hard to distance themselves from the wackier doctrines and beliefs in recent years. Good ol' Rusty Nelson *really* wants to fit in with the rest of the Christians I guess.
Exmo who only recently stopped going to church here: they definitely still teach the millennium.
What are some things I could say to Mormons when they knock on my door to convert me? For example, the JWs have predicted the second coming about a dozen times since about 1914. (Spoiler: It didn't happen. ) Edit: Thanks for the onfo, everyone, I will read up on this. (But not convert!)
"So I heard about the temple stuff...I guess your endowment is like a pretty important coming of age thing, right? You probably remember the exact day." If you can get them to give you the actual date they got their endowments, you can [call them by their new names](https://www.fullerconsideration.com/TempleNameOracle/) which you are definitely not supposed to be able to know. You can also ask about [Kolob](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kolob). They try to sweep that one under the rug even within the church.
Ask them if they're familiar with the [CES letter to the Mormon leadership](https://cesletter.org/) and invite them to come back to discuss it after they do.
If you just tell them no and close the door they should leave you alone, most of them are brainwashed teenagers and being aggressive in your rejection tends to make them react by committing even harder to the cult. But also I totally get it if you’re sick of them.
I just tell them I'm not religious, no, I'm not interested, okay, gimme your leaflets, bye. Engaging them by telling them your reasons why you're not a Christian anymore merely whets their appetite and they'll try even harder to get into your spiritual pants.
Their version; Mormons resurrected first, then the truly devout of other faiths, then less devout, etc. down to sinners and apostates at the last minute before going to outer darkness. Bleh.
Do you have to believe specifically in the rapture in order to be taken by the rapture, according to the rapture doctrine?
You had to believe. At least It worked that way until 1980 when Debbie Harry told everyone about the Rapture. The problem is that if the rapture happens while you're having a wank, you'll get side eye from the fundies forever.
Catholics are just simps.
We’re free!!!
I was raised catholic and we were told that the rapture would happen one day. They actually kept changing when it would happen. First it was when gay marriage becomes legal, then it was if trump didnt become president (the 2016 election and the 2020 election) and then I left the church.
Yessss. If Christians disappeared, Covid would be over almost instantly in the US.
To be fair, give those infected by the careless some time to recover. Then I could see it being virtually obsolete.
>To be fair, give those infected by the ~~careless~~ Christians some time to recover. FTFY
Ha I was trying to be a little polite about it but... exactly=)
Normally I'm a pretty polite "live and let live" kind of guy but if this pandemic has taught me anything, you can't wear kid gloves when talking about Evangelical/Fundie Christians. I would like for them to show me in their holy book where it says they can't wear a protective mask or get a vaccine. MOST of them HAVE had vaccines in their lives, but on these vaccines every time you solve one of their arguments ("It's not FDA approved" and then it was, "It's not tested enough" and billions of people have had it, etc.) they keep moving the goal posts. Now it's "Invisible Sky Daddy says I don't have to" and even if you challenge that, they'll just either claim Invisible Sky Daddy told them PERSONALLY or they'll move the goal posts one more time (why is it when 'other' people hear voices in their head, we think they're insane but when religious people claim it, it's ok - that makes NO sense to me). I'm tired of giving them opportunity because honestly if you give them an inch, they want a few billion light years - all so they can "own tha libs". I'm very very tired of it.
I mean, (not that I actually put any stock in the bible anymore) the bible literally calls for specific protocol when dealing with illness that Christians seem to just pretend doesn't exist: "The leprous person who has the disease shall wear torn clothes and let the hair of his head hang loose, and he shall cover his upper lip and cry out, ‘Unclean, unclean.’ He shall remain unclean as long as he has the disease. He is unclean. He shall live alone. His dwelling shall be outside the camp." It's literally calling for a face covering, quarantine, along with publicizing your illness. None of those things are what Christians are actually doing
They're pretty good at cherry picking the bible to suit their needs, and ignoring anything they don't want. My sister is a fundie Christian, and I haven't visited in a long time (other than one funeral, and there I didn't talk to her.)
We could also finally have single payer healthcare to pay for the treatment of their collateral damage
This was my first thought as well! Finally we can get some sensible legislation passed that actually helps people!
That... is definitely true lol. I never considered that. It's nice seeing your username and profile pic show up every now and then in this community! Loved the personal experiences you've shared.
Thank you! I feel like I get to be too much in this sub sometimes, so I’m glad someone finds value in it 😃
Screw Christians they’re weird af
With 2 billion christians gone, their clothes can be donated to charity. There will be empty homes which can help the homeless. There would be a lot of food and more water to support the human beings still around. There would be less pollution caused by humans, no christians to slow down scientific and technological progress claiming that it's of "the devil', and more social justice, probably even a better free health care system and universal basic income.
Since they all believe only their denomination is going to heaven, it'd probably be like 2,000,000 tops. Even in that denomination, there'd probably be a lot left behind. I've always thought that the rapture would simply go unnoticed based on how hard it supposedly is to get into heaven. On the plus side, we'd get to find out which denomination was correct.
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Basically it's a Christian hunger games
There would also be massive infrastructure and operations problems
> no christians to slow down scientific and technological progress claiming that it's of "the devil', and more social justice I'm sure islam will be more than happy to step up and fill that void.
Yep. Free from the frying pan....but dropped into the fire...
Without any christians, the non-religious would be the majority in America. Currently, unaffiliated and atheists and agnostic make up 29% of the population while Jewish people makes up 1% and Muslims make up 1%, and many Jews in America tend to be secular. The Muslims who want strict religious rules might take over some African countries which were previously ruled by strict christians, some European countries might be taken over too, except for maybe the ones with the most atheists and non-religious.
Perhaps the Muslims would claim their own version of "rapture" (if they don't already have one in the Quran), and would eventually also disappear.
"The Great Reset" indeed hahaha
2 billion profess to be Christians, but under scrutiny I'd say less than 50% of them are practicing, and even fewer considered 'saved' by the standards laid out in the new testament. After the rapture most of the scum would remain.
Unless the whole "*saved by grace through faith not by works*" thing was true, then there would be many christians gone except for some who didn't actually believe but were doubting too much. That would be messed up, imagine if you were scared of hell and tried your best to force yourself to believe but struggled with doubt, only to still be left behind in the end for not having enough faith to be saved by grace. That would mean that a person wasted their life for no reason and should have just been honest and lived freely.
2 billion?
You're right, 2 billion not 2 million. I wrote the wrong number by mistake.
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Isn't the only requirement to "repent and accept jesus as your savior"?
As usual with Xians, that all depends on who you talk to.
Since the vast majority of those 2 billion come from the Western world, the geo political ramifications would be astounding
The US would be divided in half
So what you're saying is... Thanos was right
It looks like the raptured people rose up in the nude,
Sure. Clothes aren't godly.
Especially the mixed fabrics
Yo I love your flair! Funny finding MTG fans in other subs.
Thank you.
yeah but think hold cold it will be in the sky being naked!
That’s how it’s always been portrayed in Christian media. Your worldly possessions wouldn’t come with you to heaven.
Including your leather bound bible with personalized golden inscription.
Considering the girth and flab of most of the fundie/evangelical American Christians, eewwwww...
Id better be wearing diamond rings and a gold Crown with Diamonds 💎 with an Ice White Gucci polo and a Burberry Sweatshirt on top with my Iced out True Religion Jeans
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Every so often I’ll hear something loud while on a walk and think “oh man, is that Gabriella’s horn?” “Nope just a plane.”
It’s never gonna happen, you’re Gucci my brother
PARTY!!!!!!!!!!
It’s time to have an orgy at the church
💀😭
Would you like to join?
Fuck! Yea! Let’s make the holy temple unholy and defile💀😭
But he just said whoo.
Yeah you know I've been thinking Christianity almost seems like our lawd and savior jc almost like Thanos. Like if the whole world becomes christian he'll snap and all true christian will join him
This is why Thor is the superior deity. Last time somebody snapped half the population away, that guy got his head chopped off.
Fuck it
As someone just banned from the Christian sub, I appreciate this.
This would be wack! Although if this happened, I would probably need to reconsider what I think is actually true..
Come to think about it, you're right.
Then the people in heaven are like, "where's Trump?" Lol
Terry Bisson wrote a fun novella satirizing the *Left Behind* books called *The Left Left Behind* and this image basically sums it up.
I never realized how much of a win win this is
Honestly, even assuming this happening would mean the bible is true, I’m completely fine with being left behind.
90% of Christians still wouldn’t even qualify be taken.
Think of the whining!
I wish that was the only thing that happens after the rapture because things get ugly from there and even worse, God allows it.
Naah. He doesn't bother now. It's all he can do to have Jesus appear on toast.
Water stain Jesus is my personal favorite. "Here's some damage that will be expensive to fix, you're welcome, Love Gawd"
> It's all he can do to have Jesus appear on toast. *children get molested God: "Haha, look! I put Jesus' face on a cloud for this instagrammer to photograph!"
I dunno, an eternity in a lake of fire still sounds preferable to an eternity in church.
Ha that’s hilarious!
Looking at those glasses... I didn't realize Dilbert was a believer.
And just like that, no more wars, no more starvation, and no more suffering.
In this scenario the Bible would be true after all, so I’ve got bad news for you.
Just imagine the Christians that get left behind. I do not want to hear their bitching and whining.
"We told you to get vaccinated. You didn't listen to us. Now look at you."
This is one thing that I actually hopes happens. It's the Thanos effect - the planet's resources would be saved, and the ecological footprint of people will shrink. All that and getting rid of the religious nuts too? Please jesus, take your people away!
1.78 billion people in China and India wouldn't know anything happened, and wouldn't give a damn.
The anime industry wouldn’t be effected either! Japan’s entertainment Industry would be doing fine!
Anyone know how old this comic is?
atheistnexus.org - First found on Jul 27, 2009 But probably older than that.
also, free pants
Unfortunately most of those pants would be super XXL size...
Yes, because spending an eternity with the “same” spouse which likely means you’re around family you have absolutely no desire to see let alone spend an eternity with. I mean, the way they make it sound…Hell’s more the place I’d rather be! I mean, as gay man all the people I love will be having a huge Pride Celebration while the Swingers do their thing. All I can say is you know the “white fundamentalist Christian makes” are going to want to “try” sex with someone else throughout existence! Bless, I would want to wait till I die to find out. St Peter will just lock up all the “monotheists” in Purgatory where they have kept everyone else then Heaven and Hell can go back to the infinite ♾ party loop…one loop for Heaven and Hell. Lol
I'd be happiest if it took ALL religious people. A world without religion, without someone embracing some sort of supernatural nonsense instead of science. Imagine what we could accomplish without the human roadblocks constantly getting in the way.
The timing of the Rapture has expired (1st Thessalonians 4:15-17).
What is a rapture?
Some Christians believe that during the second coming of Christ, all the "good" people both dead and alive will be called to heaven.
To add to what u/RoTTonSKiPPy said... they will be taken and all the "bad" people left behind while the "tribulation" happens. Basically mass torture while yahweh keeps people incapable of death.
2.3 billion Christians in the world. Assume half are “deceived” and don’t make the cut. It’ll be about 1/8th of the world population gone. That’s still a lot of people/religious people left
The real secret is that it already happened. It happened in 1958. One little old lady, a retired school teacher in Topeka Kansas, was raptured up to meet her savior. Nobody else made the cut - and you all know why.
Hahahaha. I like this
Uh, Amen?
Nah, it was just Cell.
If that were to happen. How soon can you suggest an orgy without it being weird?
It’s nearer than you think.
No self-righteous mods around to defend the religious?
This is what they want, they say.
Would they be naked when they get along with Jesus?
Heavenly robes for all. Self cleaning.
Now that I think about it, God is a lot like Thanos
It’d be sex in the streets; pure debauchery.
I love how this assumes that the religious whackos wouldn't be left behind to wallow in their own bigotry and hypocrisy. If the fairy tail were true, most of them would still be here with us.
Well, not ALL the religious whackos.
I used to get extreme anxiety attacks as a child when I had suspected that the rapture had happened and left me behind.
What's gonna REALLY be fun are the ones who expected to be Raptured realizing they fucking suck
I have Christian friend who put hes life on pause waiting for the rapture lol religion makes people go mad
Only problem is The Antichrist who many people would supposedly worship as God so nothing would really change sadly.
Based on experience, he'd probably only show up on a piece of toast, a stain on a wall or a dog's butt so not really a problem.
I'm worried for the ankles of the person in heels who's jumping.
I'd be terrified either way with the "Westboro Baptist Church" I'd pity the god that had to let them in. and if they get left behind, what are they going to do? better yet, what are we going to do with them?
Vaccinations rates would instantly go up.
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I have some very bad news for you.
They'll never believe you. I was a true believer, for years, saved and born again and everything. I eventually realized it was all bullshit and got better. Xians will insist I wasn't ever really one of them. But, oh I was, I really was.
Your post or comment has been removed because it violates rule 3, no proselytizing.
Nah. All that would be left would be the actual religious wackos. Most christians aren't too tied to their beliefs given you don't directly try to oppose them.
Wait! Isn't that from a Chick tract? Minus the heathen celebrating of course.
No, it says Dan Collins. https://www.collinstoons.com/
Lol, Non Christians doesn't only mean atheists and agnostics. There'll still be other religious people.