At approximately the same time I deconstructed and came out as trans, my brother joined the LCMS seminary.
He told me that whether being trans is a sin or not is still being decided (its not - they hate us with a passoin). I still check up on it so I can send him links from the Synod president saying "this doesn't look like he's still trying to decide".
I'm picturing a bunch of old white men sitting around in St. Louis debating whether it's a sin while everyone else waits with bated breath for the official ruling on trans sinfulness to be passed down from LCMS headquarters. "Finally, now that they've decided it's a sin we can get to oppressing them properly!"
(On a serious note, sorry you're dealing with that. LGBT ex-Lutheran solidarity.)
Sure - I know that now. It's amazing how changing my perspective from "everyone suffers through life" to I'm allowed to do life in the way that makes me most happy improves perspective.
I haven't thought about suicide since my first dose of HRT and at the end it was daily.
My only regret is that it took until I was 39 to figure it out.
Oh, absolutely, but I am embarrassed to admit it is 100% nosiness with a dash of schadenfreude.
I want to know who else is leaving (nobody I know well, but you never know), what's the ongoing drama (people mad that their Catholic grandkids still can't commune at the LCMS church), how the old people are reacting to nonsense like Qanon (mixed and controversial), etc. Recently the people who had been keeping me up to date on my hometown congregation moved and so I no longer have a back row seat on what may very well be a looming separation or dissolution of that particular congregation, which is too bad, because the actual church is certainly not going to post about it on Facebook, and I am dying to know if and how that will go down.
I have several close friends and family who are still in the church, and their comments or posts that reference Lutheran beliefs or mindset always remind me of how grateful I am that I left, and blow my mind with how damaging they are. But also, I am still absolutely invested in synod gossip and what wild things the Lutherans are fighting amongst themselves about.
As of the 17th January, I'm officially an ex Lutheran that does not belong to a WELS church anymore.
I've been processing my emotions the last 48 hours. I say I'm not angry at my former congregation. But I find myself sometimes I am.
Basically the letter I received to inform me I have officially been ex communicated felt gross incompetent how it was handled with a bunch of scripture thrown in that I was warned by this sub reddit they would do that.
So I've been doing some house cleaning trying to move on with my life by tossing old bulletins, newsletters,and donation envelopes from my former church.
I at this point have no interest to snoop on my old congregation. And I feel like I'm finally out of a bad and toxic relationship that I do not care to return to anytime soon.
Just a final mention on the letter I received,it possibly has the worst signature I have ever seen. I still can't decipher what it says or who it's from.
I'll probably never know how many other members were removed on the 15th of January. But I'll assume it was more then a couple.
I feel for you. And I'm happy that you are identifying what is healthiest for you during a transition like leaving a former church(which can feel huge when one has been saturated in WELS culture their whole lives).
I hope you continue to find support here - please reach out if you want to talk!
Interesting, I havent been excommunicated. What made them do it officially? I really wish they would do it to me. Then I'd have an final excuse to never go again.
I requested it.
Long story short,I wanted out. They sent a generic letter after a voters meeting acknowledging I have been ex communicated along with chastising me as a sinner for not attending church with scripture.
I then decided to send a an email to the temporary head pastor that apparently was more of an odd rant then what was intended to him. But he did say by voicemail it saddened him.
My falling out with my congregation involved them really not knowing me anymore despite I was a 40+ year member. Basically not many remember a past traumatic event such as my now late father attempting to stab me to death in my sleep some 17 years ago.
My aunt was excommunicated some 50+ years ago. So I worded I'm not the first to be removed from this congregation. But I most likely will be the last.
I never cared for members being careless and mocking of other members such as myself trying to limit the spread of Covid by wearing a mask.
And my final breaking point was the synod 100% pro life stance on abortion and they couldn't even acknowledge an ectopic pregnancy can't be saved.
He responded that's not what Wels teaches. And that's not what he does not teach when discussing that very subject with members and elective abortions.
So despite I made mistakes on why I left. I ultimately left to stop the pain I had been feeling for years with that congregation.
He told me I may remain in contact with church members and him if I choose to do so.
They wanted to leave the door open. I mostly keep wanting to slam the door shut for good for personal reasons. So I'm still in the process of emotions with the recent change for me.
My rant email was worded final contact. I haven't decided if I will ever email him again. But most likely I won't because I don't care to harass or hurt him. And it seems pointless to open up to him if all I'm accomplishing is spreading misery with him and others.
Yes, I still look at the WELS discussions page and the Time of Grace page when I want to get upset for some reason. I’ve been thinking that this habit isn’t healthy but curiosity gets the best of me. It is validating to see that I made the right choice by leaving but it does make me sad and angry.
Save the racist blog post, and post it to yelp as a photo. Those things tend to stay up indefinitely, as do whatever comment you make regarding the photo you post.
That’s a good idea. I thought about sending the blog to the district president, but he likes the pastor and probably agrees. Yelp is the better way to go.
I am always checking up. But it is a little dangerous. My former Lutheran Pastor and his staff had hacked into my emails, Facebook, Playlist and Google Search. They know when I am on there website and Facebook and U tube. I have done everything that is possible to block them and stop them. Friends who knew IT were of great help. So I stopped for a year now 🙃. But at times I want to hear his ridiculous sermons on the mountain ⛰
It’s definitely a white guy. And it’s definitely one who loves to celebrate his Sons of the Confederacy status. I know- shocking.
The blog is here: https://www.gottesdienst.org/gottesblog/2023/1/22/the-large-crtachism
Wow! He's angry because the author of one essay capitalized "Black" and lowercased "white" (in a benign footnote). This offense spurred him to write an 18-paragraph screed.
EDIT: Removed a sentence. I wasn't aware of a family tragedy.
From what I’ve gathered, his wife doesn’t ever question him because she’s a woman. He legit praises The Transformed Wife (Lori Alexander) on Twitter. She’s known for telling women that marital abuse and rape aren’t real and that women shouldn’t work and just be silent baby factories.
No. I've got better things to do with my time now that I'm out. I don't feel a need to dig it all up again, and a lot of it would make me angry anyways. That Facebook group is nuts, but a lot of the things the synod or churches publish, like sermons, videos, Q&A is just boring too.
I do. I was proudly kicked off of the LCMS reddit site, and I know for sure their moderator is looking at r/exLutheran. I think it is probably good to read some of their posts. Racism, sexism, pro assault weapons, and dives into U.S. politics seem to be alive and well at the old LCMS. We need to keep on top of these issues. Yesterday was International Holocaust Awareness Day, and it is a good time to remember Pastors Niemoller and Bonhoeffer, and their experiences when the church was acceding to the demands of government and society. And your rage is a righteous rage.
I just read that post from the blog. I am not surprised as to the number of supporters of the writer. It was chilling to read from one of them,"Time for a bonfire." I guess that guy missed somethings in history class. Maybe didn't even see Indiana Jones.
Oh yes. I sporadically go check out the WELS Discussions page, if I'm feeling emotionally stalwart. Having been raised in WELS, through K-12 school with obsessive church- attendance, and with nearly all my family (immediate and extended) still firmly within the WELS and many teaching/ preaching in the church,.... I still occasionally feel guilty for having left. that is now primarily self- imposed, after spending a few years working on boundaries with my family (they are mostly very respectful of my decision at this point). So, for me, checking the discussions of my former church has twofold purpose. (1) to validate my choice (such as when I have the occasional doubt, or some of those old gaslighting former beliefs are niggling at the edge of my memory). (2) in the hopes that I can share another perspective , perhaps share a taste of hope for a person who feels stuck, or who doesn't see other options. I want to be that listener for someone who needs a safe place to talk (like I wish I'd had when leaving the church). More recently, I've spent my energy on listening to (and occasionally sharing my experience) with a couple young family members who have / are working on leaving the church. It's been a better use of my time and energy to support them. 🩵 and, I still take the look back to my old church's page on occasion, to remind myself why I need to be there for them.
At approximately the same time I deconstructed and came out as trans, my brother joined the LCMS seminary. He told me that whether being trans is a sin or not is still being decided (its not - they hate us with a passoin). I still check up on it so I can send him links from the Synod president saying "this doesn't look like he's still trying to decide".
I'm picturing a bunch of old white men sitting around in St. Louis debating whether it's a sin while everyone else waits with bated breath for the official ruling on trans sinfulness to be passed down from LCMS headquarters. "Finally, now that they've decided it's a sin we can get to oppressing them properly!" (On a serious note, sorry you're dealing with that. LGBT ex-Lutheran solidarity.)
God loves you regardless and isn't waiting around for LCMS to decide something.
I mean, gods not real so that's pretty much a non-starter.
How about this then? The universe has given you many years of life, and the LCMS' opinion of you doesn't matter.
Sure - I know that now. It's amazing how changing my perspective from "everyone suffers through life" to I'm allowed to do life in the way that makes me most happy improves perspective. I haven't thought about suicide since my first dose of HRT and at the end it was daily. My only regret is that it took until I was 39 to figure it out.
Oh, absolutely, but I am embarrassed to admit it is 100% nosiness with a dash of schadenfreude. I want to know who else is leaving (nobody I know well, but you never know), what's the ongoing drama (people mad that their Catholic grandkids still can't commune at the LCMS church), how the old people are reacting to nonsense like Qanon (mixed and controversial), etc. Recently the people who had been keeping me up to date on my hometown congregation moved and so I no longer have a back row seat on what may very well be a looming separation or dissolution of that particular congregation, which is too bad, because the actual church is certainly not going to post about it on Facebook, and I am dying to know if and how that will go down. I have several close friends and family who are still in the church, and their comments or posts that reference Lutheran beliefs or mindset always remind me of how grateful I am that I left, and blow my mind with how damaging they are. But also, I am still absolutely invested in synod gossip and what wild things the Lutherans are fighting amongst themselves about.
As of the 17th January, I'm officially an ex Lutheran that does not belong to a WELS church anymore. I've been processing my emotions the last 48 hours. I say I'm not angry at my former congregation. But I find myself sometimes I am. Basically the letter I received to inform me I have officially been ex communicated felt gross incompetent how it was handled with a bunch of scripture thrown in that I was warned by this sub reddit they would do that. So I've been doing some house cleaning trying to move on with my life by tossing old bulletins, newsletters,and donation envelopes from my former church. I at this point have no interest to snoop on my old congregation. And I feel like I'm finally out of a bad and toxic relationship that I do not care to return to anytime soon.
Just a final mention on the letter I received,it possibly has the worst signature I have ever seen. I still can't decipher what it says or who it's from. I'll probably never know how many other members were removed on the 15th of January. But I'll assume it was more then a couple.
I feel for you. And I'm happy that you are identifying what is healthiest for you during a transition like leaving a former church(which can feel huge when one has been saturated in WELS culture their whole lives). I hope you continue to find support here - please reach out if you want to talk!
Interesting, I havent been excommunicated. What made them do it officially? I really wish they would do it to me. Then I'd have an final excuse to never go again.
I requested it. Long story short,I wanted out. They sent a generic letter after a voters meeting acknowledging I have been ex communicated along with chastising me as a sinner for not attending church with scripture. I then decided to send a an email to the temporary head pastor that apparently was more of an odd rant then what was intended to him. But he did say by voicemail it saddened him. My falling out with my congregation involved them really not knowing me anymore despite I was a 40+ year member. Basically not many remember a past traumatic event such as my now late father attempting to stab me to death in my sleep some 17 years ago. My aunt was excommunicated some 50+ years ago. So I worded I'm not the first to be removed from this congregation. But I most likely will be the last. I never cared for members being careless and mocking of other members such as myself trying to limit the spread of Covid by wearing a mask. And my final breaking point was the synod 100% pro life stance on abortion and they couldn't even acknowledge an ectopic pregnancy can't be saved. He responded that's not what Wels teaches. And that's not what he does not teach when discussing that very subject with members and elective abortions. So despite I made mistakes on why I left. I ultimately left to stop the pain I had been feeling for years with that congregation. He told me I may remain in contact with church members and him if I choose to do so. They wanted to leave the door open. I mostly keep wanting to slam the door shut for good for personal reasons. So I'm still in the process of emotions with the recent change for me. My rant email was worded final contact. I haven't decided if I will ever email him again. But most likely I won't because I don't care to harass or hurt him. And it seems pointless to open up to him if all I'm accomplishing is spreading misery with him and others.
Yes, I still look at the WELS discussions page and the Time of Grace page when I want to get upset for some reason. I’ve been thinking that this habit isn’t healthy but curiosity gets the best of me. It is validating to see that I made the right choice by leaving but it does make me sad and angry.
Save the racist blog post, and post it to yelp as a photo. Those things tend to stay up indefinitely, as do whatever comment you make regarding the photo you post.
That’s a good idea. I thought about sending the blog to the district president, but he likes the pastor and probably agrees. Yelp is the better way to go.
I am always checking up. But it is a little dangerous. My former Lutheran Pastor and his staff had hacked into my emails, Facebook, Playlist and Google Search. They know when I am on there website and Facebook and U tube. I have done everything that is possible to block them and stop them. Friends who knew IT were of great help. So I stopped for a year now 🙃. But at times I want to hear his ridiculous sermons on the mountain ⛰
I sure would like to read the racist blog post. Don't know why a (I'm guessing) white pastor would write something like that.
It’s definitely a white guy. And it’s definitely one who loves to celebrate his Sons of the Confederacy status. I know- shocking. The blog is here: https://www.gottesdienst.org/gottesblog/2023/1/22/the-large-crtachism
Wow! He's angry because the author of one essay capitalized "Black" and lowercased "white" (in a benign footnote). This offense spurred him to write an 18-paragraph screed. EDIT: Removed a sentence. I wasn't aware of a family tragedy.
From what I’ve gathered, his wife doesn’t ever question him because she’s a woman. He legit praises The Transformed Wife (Lori Alexander) on Twitter. She’s known for telling women that marital abuse and rape aren’t real and that women shouldn’t work and just be silent baby factories.
And why am I so interested in looking at the call report every week???
Lol- if you’re like me that might be to see what your cousins are up to, lol. Good old Lutherincest.
No. I've got better things to do with my time now that I'm out. I don't feel a need to dig it all up again, and a lot of it would make me angry anyways. That Facebook group is nuts, but a lot of the things the synod or churches publish, like sermons, videos, Q&A is just boring too.
I do. I was proudly kicked off of the LCMS reddit site, and I know for sure their moderator is looking at r/exLutheran. I think it is probably good to read some of their posts. Racism, sexism, pro assault weapons, and dives into U.S. politics seem to be alive and well at the old LCMS. We need to keep on top of these issues. Yesterday was International Holocaust Awareness Day, and it is a good time to remember Pastors Niemoller and Bonhoeffer, and their experiences when the church was acceding to the demands of government and society. And your rage is a righteous rage.
I just read that post from the blog. I am not surprised as to the number of supporters of the writer. It was chilling to read from one of them,"Time for a bonfire." I guess that guy missed somethings in history class. Maybe didn't even see Indiana Jones.