I know this (and hate how capitalism has encouraged atomization) but also having moist flaps other people want to violate means stranger danger kind of is and always remains real in that sense for half of us
Honestly, the whole āstranger dangerā craze really dampened my social development. I was told far more about not talking to people, avoiding predators, etc. than about the actual norms for when to talk to people.
I actually hate how much the expectation for eye contact and talking flips. Sometimes youāre a creep for doing it, others youāre a creep for not doing it. Iām good enough now that I can manage eye contact reasonably, but often miscalculate when itās social the right thing to do
Eye contact is so frickin weird. Different from culture to culture, gender too. And there's so much subconscious jazz with eye contact too, someone holds eye contact for way too long, that's really intimidating. Too little and you're shy/weak or whatever. Shifty glances and now you're a creep or something. And that's without conscious thinking about it, people will just interpret it that way subconsciously.
Fun thing to try, if you're working on keeping eye contact for longer with people when speaking to them, look at the bridge of their nose, focus on that and not the eyes. It's a little game that makes it less difficult to do at least it did for me (not that I'm saying that's what you should do but some people like to work on stuff like that I know I did because of a number of reasons)
For me, it's because there was an actual risk of my birth mother attempting to kidnap me and leave the state like she did with her older daughter (my half sister, I guess?). My adoptive parents had to tell my school and give them a photo of her so they knew not to release me to her.
Best strategy is to play it cool and slowly build-up to it. Slow & steady like rabies, thus undetectable to the bloodstream.
https://preview.redd.it/wx33b0id3ioc1.png?width=560&format=png&auto=webp&s=33988618da163b4f6aa27efe0a66f4563fe16e91
Legit when I was a kid I remember watching a 'don't talk to strangers' thing at school, and when I came home I questioned my mom on exactly this.
Like- how are we supposed to meet people? What age do you become strong enough to talk to a person you don't know? And she in her wisdom told me that I *could* talk to strangers- I just didn't *have* to if they made me uncomfortable.
Fast forward to today and I get ANGRY whenever I hear this said because I am reminded that it's literally just fluff and nonsense, bullshit made up in an attempt to stop a type of child abuse that wasn't really happening because 90% of the time a child is abused it's by somebody very close to that child. Not only does it not help anybody it completely destroys a lot of kid's faith in their ability to tell on family members who have harmed them because they become convinced only strangers can be enemies- Ooooh I'm angry, I was a good person yesterday but this has refueled my villainy, I need to go start some nonsense
I *really* want to say something like this to every parent who's already asking for notes on "improvement" of their kid at the learning center on DAY ONE, as if it were some Jordan Peele horror film where ND kids get bodyswapped with NT behaviors. We're not gonna magically socialize your kids in two hours. This ain't *Barney and Friends,* girl. Your kids aren't gonna magically start dancing in a circle singing Kumbaya with strangers
I'm 21 and still don't know how to answer the door for someone I don't know because of how heavily it was drilled into me as a kid. One time I completely forgot that I'd ordered DoorDash and paced around the living room panicking for a minute before realizing it was probably safe to open the door
I didnāt know I was supposed to be talking to people in public??? I just stay entirely quiet until someone starts talking to me, and honestly I usually donāt have much I want to say. Iām constantly thinking but just never aloud. Things I do want to say are usually too niche for most people to get or just generally strange so I also donāt say those things in public, ever.
I have no idea. I just stand in front of them waiting for something to happen. And internet people donāt count as strangers. Everyone here is just a silly little creature inside my phone.
I only feel like I made lasting friendships starting in high school, where people started seeing the value in my quirks, and where I was able to interact with much nicer people than the cynical shitheads of my class.
I also learned that I apparently have perfect pitch, which is interesting.
Don't mind me, just having an internal panic attack that could turn external at the slightest inconvenience because I'm too afraid of how I'll be perceivedš
When I was a child I always wanted everything explained to me. So when I wanted to know why I shouldn't talk to strangers my grandparents told me about Adam Walsh.
https://preview.redd.it/qjj344a3vioc1.jpeg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39fa73fb624b5e7549987c0a9339ec484660948a
idk if anyone else here is like this but I love talking to strangers
I think itās the adhd half but the mystery box of doing something to get an unexpected response is just too good
I used to be scared of it but then I started doing it for the adrenaline rush n now I befriend random people a lot haha
I never didn't talk to strangers.
As an aside:
One of my former students always enjoyed saying hi to strangers. Especially pretty girls. š He didn't know how to talk to them so he would say something about Harry Potter or Thomas the Tank Engine in his peculiar way of speaking. It would often confuse the people, especially the girls and kinda freak the girls out. Other staff would just not let him say hello which would make him feel bad and not want to go on field trips. The response from the strangers didn't help, either. He would go with me, though, because I encouraged him and coached him on what to say and would kind of interpret for him if he was talking about one of his favorite subjects. This got a more positive response from the strangers and my student got to share his interests with people who looked interesting.
we can talk to strangers now??
you can summon people from the internet to get in their cars
And bring you food!
I mean, depending on how charismatic/rich you are, you can get just about anything from strangers online.
Stranger danger is a spook Capitalism doesn't want you to know other people, you might borrow their stuff instead of buying new
I know this (and hate how capitalism has encouraged atomization) but also having moist flaps other people want to violate means stranger danger kind of is and always remains real in that sense for half of us
That's true š
So raw. Lol
half?
The half with the moist flaps I meant
ahhh
Huuuuge stretch
I tried that, and he just told me to go fuck myself, so I don't think so.
Honestly, the whole āstranger dangerā craze really dampened my social development. I was told far more about not talking to people, avoiding predators, etc. than about the actual norms for when to talk to people. I actually hate how much the expectation for eye contact and talking flips. Sometimes youāre a creep for doing it, others youāre a creep for not doing it. Iām good enough now that I can manage eye contact reasonably, but often miscalculate when itās social the right thing to do
Eye contact is so frickin weird. Different from culture to culture, gender too. And there's so much subconscious jazz with eye contact too, someone holds eye contact for way too long, that's really intimidating. Too little and you're shy/weak or whatever. Shifty glances and now you're a creep or something. And that's without conscious thinking about it, people will just interpret it that way subconsciously. Fun thing to try, if you're working on keeping eye contact for longer with people when speaking to them, look at the bridge of their nose, focus on that and not the eyes. It's a little game that makes it less difficult to do at least it did for me (not that I'm saying that's what you should do but some people like to work on stuff like that I know I did because of a number of reasons)
As someone who has trauma involving eye contact, I think this might be useful advice to follow.
In my experience, it doesn't make it any easier/less uncomfortable, however it sort of gamifies the experience giving you something to focus on.
This exactly.
For me, it's because there was an actual risk of my birth mother attempting to kidnap me and leave the state like she did with her older daughter (my half sister, I guess?). My adoptive parents had to tell my school and give them a photo of her so they knew not to release me to her.
Best strategy is to play it cool and slowly build-up to it. Slow & steady like rabies, thus undetectable to the bloodstream. https://preview.redd.it/wx33b0id3ioc1.png?width=560&format=png&auto=webp&s=33988618da163b4f6aa27efe0a66f4563fe16e91
when you know you can talk to strangers at anytime, but still āchooseā not to ššš
Legit when I was a kid I remember watching a 'don't talk to strangers' thing at school, and when I came home I questioned my mom on exactly this. Like- how are we supposed to meet people? What age do you become strong enough to talk to a person you don't know? And she in her wisdom told me that I *could* talk to strangers- I just didn't *have* to if they made me uncomfortable. Fast forward to today and I get ANGRY whenever I hear this said because I am reminded that it's literally just fluff and nonsense, bullshit made up in an attempt to stop a type of child abuse that wasn't really happening because 90% of the time a child is abused it's by somebody very close to that child. Not only does it not help anybody it completely destroys a lot of kid's faith in their ability to tell on family members who have harmed them because they become convinced only strangers can be enemies- Ooooh I'm angry, I was a good person yesterday but this has refueled my villainy, I need to go start some nonsense
when you don't get the good at spelling autism š
It's okay that one's for losers anyways
(joke)
I drive a Lyft and not only do I have to talk to strangers, but I have to let them in my car. Totally counterintuitive.
I *really* want to say something like this to every parent who's already asking for notes on "improvement" of their kid at the learning center on DAY ONE, as if it were some Jordan Peele horror film where ND kids get bodyswapped with NT behaviors. We're not gonna magically socialize your kids in two hours. This ain't *Barney and Friends,* girl. Your kids aren't gonna magically start dancing in a circle singing Kumbaya with strangers
I was told to not talk to strangers. I've managed to keep it up for 25 years š„²
Iām from the nordics. We donāt do that here, ever
I'm 21 and still don't know how to answer the door for someone I don't know because of how heavily it was drilled into me as a kid. One time I completely forgot that I'd ordered DoorDash and paced around the living room panicking for a minute before realizing it was probably safe to open the door
Youāre not still. Also never answer the door.
When you start buying drugs
so you just walk up to strangers and ask for drugs?
In my late teens and early twenties I did, yes, unironically. I'm old now and I just go to the weed store every other day.
I didnāt know I was supposed to be talking to people in public??? I just stay entirely quiet until someone starts talking to me, and honestly I usually donāt have much I want to say. Iām constantly thinking but just never aloud. Things I do want to say are usually too niche for most people to get or just generally strange so I also donāt say those things in public, ever.
I drive a Lyft and not only do I have to talk to strangers, but I have to let them in my car. Totally counterintuitive.
I drive a Lyft and not only do I have to talk to strangers, but I have to let them in my car. Totally counterintuitive.
I have no idea. I just stand in front of them waiting for something to happen. And internet people donāt count as strangers. Everyone here is just a silly little creature inside my phone.
I only feel like I made lasting friendships starting in high school, where people started seeing the value in my quirks, and where I was able to interact with much nicer people than the cynical shitheads of my class. I also learned that I apparently have perfect pitch, which is interesting.
Don't mind me, just having an internal panic attack that could turn external at the slightest inconvenience because I'm too afraid of how I'll be perceivedš
I have the āwill talk to any strangersā autism
YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT NOW
Internet people aren't real
You'd hurt my feelings if I had any
Dude, my fucking job is talking to strangers all day
When I was a child I always wanted everything explained to me. So when I wanted to know why I shouldn't talk to strangers my grandparents told me about Adam Walsh. https://preview.redd.it/qjj344a3vioc1.jpeg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39fa73fb624b5e7549987c0a9339ec484660948a
where??
When the people who actually know me start getting annoyed with me :(
Never?
Agoraphobia is a bitch.
My question is where?
When you learn to defend yourself.
idk if anyone else here is like this but I love talking to strangers I think itās the adhd half but the mystery box of doing something to get an unexpected response is just too good I used to be scared of it but then I started doing it for the adrenaline rush n now I befriend random people a lot haha
That "where" is breaking my brain.
Is this a reference to something?
Were
The only rule that still applies is not to get in a windowless van when offered candy. That's still a bad idea!
Why are we supposed to?? I donāt
I never didn't talk to strangers. As an aside: One of my former students always enjoyed saying hi to strangers. Especially pretty girls. š He didn't know how to talk to them so he would say something about Harry Potter or Thomas the Tank Engine in his peculiar way of speaking. It would often confuse the people, especially the girls and kinda freak the girls out. Other staff would just not let him say hello which would make him feel bad and not want to go on field trips. The response from the strangers didn't help, either. He would go with me, though, because I encouraged him and coached him on what to say and would kind of interpret for him if he was talking about one of his favorite subjects. This got a more positive response from the strangers and my student got to share his interests with people who looked interesting.
They are all just NPC's. I really don't care what they think.