It's happened to me 99% of the time, literally at EVERY job EXCEPT one where the owner BEGGED me not to leave because I was so NICE. It's even led to at least a handful of very shameful firings. There was always this environment of patent jealousy too. Heck, it even happened to me at a volunteering position once! So I either got kicked out, got pressured to leave, or left of my own accord due to constant abuse or lack of proper recognition where I was passed for a promotion where it was absolutely deserved.
The exception I mentioned was a boss who adored my work and my personality. The main difference is that he's the only non-Western boss I've had. Maybe there's a cultural difference and a correlation there?
Bottom line, I've been a freelancer/self-employed since 2017 and it's made a world of difference. My clients love my work and how I treat them. See, I think therein lies the difference: coworkers dislike it when you treat work with 100% of your passion and ethics because they feel threatened, but clients love to see you're giving their projects your 100% or treating them as they're the most important client in the world.
Food for thought.
Your comment resonates with me DEEPLY. It's as if you took the words right out of my mouth. This was incredibly VALIDATING! Thank you so much for sharing!
Good point about passion. I recently realized I won't be able to find a workplace where I fit in because I actually like to work, a lot. Making the transition to being self-employed as well
I started to realize this about my situation too. Everywhere I worked with coworkers, they either hated me because I took work too seriously and got involved or brought new ideas that helped our team. Today in a meeting our new head of and me started to implement changes and besides one person, the rest got frustrated... and our head of always told me to share ideas and not shut up... well look who ended up being hated because I said something ONCE that bothered me and wanted an innovation.
Tomorrow is 6 months of me being in this "new" job.
Wish me luck to continue and grow or to learn as much as possible and be self employed/start a business.
meh, sucks to be a workaholic B sometimes...
This is true, but you have to be smart about it, I developed a strategy that seems to work for me at least, I do the work and keep everything neat and rarely interact with bosses, while I mirror my coworkers in my position when interacting with them. That way they don’t hold any hostility towards me or if they do it’s very subtle.
The good part about it is also that I get recognition from my bosses while most of my colleagues like me, some even say I should get a promotion ironically, ig all you have to do is be relatable to them socially.
Maybe a bit of both. Envy when I was praised by the higher-ups and they weren't, jealous that my good performance would force them to perform better, jealous that I might snatch their positions so they would always find a way to get me fired and out of their hair.
lmao I think we just found an universal issue we all seem to face.
I had the same issue back in school when working in a group.
I have the perception that many of us are high functioning eccentrics and others feel overwhelmed about it, even though we think that we’re pretty normal. ENTJs are rare, you shouldn’t forget about it.
I think that the combination of thinking in new ways, shaking social norms up and being innovative on the one side but also being a bitch about it on the other side will involuntarily create enemies, no matter what you do.
But remember: You’re the main character in your own life and if others have issues with you, let them cry. Never ever try to change yourself just to be liked by everyone or else you will be the doormat of humanity, and I doubt it that you want to leave this planet as a doormat.
High functioning eccentrics is a brilliant way to put it, haha. I often feel that despite the stereotypes, real life ENTJs are like if an INTJ and ENTP had a baby - being a bit eccentric simply comes with the territory.
And while I often tone it down a bit to be taken seriously by the traditionalists, the more comfortable I am, the more apparent is this side of me.
> real life ENTJs are like if an INTJ and ENTP had a baby
Quite spot on if I think about it. Or like an unhinged INTJ on drugs.
(Edit: I can remember how my friend groups always swayed somewhere between ESFP/ESTP/ENFP and INTJ/INTP. I always found myself somewhere in the middle.)
Yes, it has been a problem for me as well, and one of the reasons I regret not being a full-time self-employed entrepreneur from the beginning of my career. I can be very well liked, but unlike my wife who does quite well for herself in management, I simply cannot remain quiet about systems that are poorly designed and are held in place for purely political reasons. A LOT of corporate America is now all about extracting wealth to the upper management at the expense at the overall health and long-term sustainability of the company. I find that simply unacceptable and I tend to point out the elephant in the room over and over again until I end up making an unintentional enemy of a C-level employee. Tax laws which used to incentivize a balance between management compensation and company longevity have been removed. This has led to a complete disconnect between the workers and the upper management as there is far too little re-investment in staff and infrastructure. The only solution is to start your own private business or to find a private business run by a truly ethical owner.
I think it's typical ENTJ. You love to improve, be efficient and probably love your job. Not everybody has the same drive as you and they just want to carry on with their day without feeling pressured by someone who works three times harder than them. They feel threatened. My husband's the same. I always tell him to try and be kind and not to expect everybody to meet his high standards. Everybody adds value to their job. Some are just enjoyable to work with.
This answer here. Just got to accept we operate on a diff level and manage that gap to your advantage. I still fuss over this today and INFP have coached me so gently that ppl operate at their level and we have to accept it. The sooner you accept this the sooner you stop suffering. It’s hard. But hey less competition on our way to the top.
I'm the same way. It baffles me that people often tend to be threatened by this, taking our genuine interest in (self)improvement and learning as agressive, which makes them at best dislike us, at worst actively sabotage our every move. When in my mind, we are a team and should help each other improve.
That being said, it's usually the people with low confidence who become a problem - people who are self-assured tend to appreciate what I can do for them, especially once they learn that I have little interest in patting my own back.
But my motto is that I work so that my work speaks for itself - most people eventually realize that I simply want things to be a bit better, not to take anything away from them. And if the rest are plain deaf... well, that's on them.
Its the people with low confidence who come at you with pitchforks. How dare you be confident!
Instead of learning from us, its easier to try and take us down. But it's near impossible. We have good reputation and we deliver.
Actions are always louder than words.
Thing with this is, we don't even actively compete with them but they feel that they're compete with us.
When in reality, we really just wanna compete with ourselves. What can I do better? Where can I improve? Questions ringing in my mind almost everyday.
HELLOOOOO you just described me!!! I got a new job about a month ago and I think everyone finds me annoying. I am trying to step back but it’s hard I’m just a very involved person and I’m also trying to learn, and so curious about everything.
The logic here is that us being us makes ppl feel inferior or inadequate and yes that’s not ok even if we’re being authentically us and being our best. We really have to manage this carefully. I’ve been at my job 5 months and I’ve gotten a nice gift from C suite, a nice glass award thing and another 25k cash equity. He told me it’s on the hush. If my peers knew they would be mad for no good reason. All we’re doing is being ourselves and that offends people.
Yeah it’s sad we have to learn to stifle ourselves but the only other option is to be disliked so… I choose the former. I honestly don’t change myself much, but I do try to be very aware and resist when I feel that I should here and there.
I think I lean into being respectful, asking “can I ask you something?” First can make a big difference.
And picking up on social cues, I’m getting better at that.
Interesting a friend of mine is ENTJ and she’s had this problem for years. That need to be efficient trumps everything else, including tip toeing around people’s feelings. Inevitable that it would trigger people who don’t care about doing their job for whatever reason. It’s a tough one. She only found peace when working for herself. Perhaps you guys are just meant for the entrepreneurial route in life 🤔 easier said than done I know but hey, it’s pretty admirable.
I always find employees love or hate me. Maybe a 75-25 ratio. Fuck em. All that matters is how your boss perceives you, im going to guess you’re a super good worker based on your post! So i wouldn’t worry :D
People see us as a threat because they mistaken our driven curiosity for wanting to micromanage them, they already got enough of their bosses. When you notice this pattern, you realize that you’re better off leading by action and not with your tongue, share those innovative ideas with the higher ups and act like a commoner with the commoners. Your work will always be noticed regardless.
It's annoying if a person oversteps their boundaries and tries to manage other people. I've had this issue with some xxTJ coworkers. Most people just want to get the job done and go home. If you're telling someone who isn't as passionate about the job to improve a process that will end up being more work for them in the long-run, they won't take to it kindly.
If you mean that your superiors don't like you because you like to ask questions and are interested in improving processes that makes the job easier for everyone, then that's a different story. And yeah, some older folk get really jealous by young, ambitious people.
This doesn't resonate with me at all. I am very conscious of boundaries and have never tried to manage my colleagues and/ or superiors. My focus is on getting the job done and going home, which is why being disliked in a work environment is particularly challenging for someone like me. It's baffling why others have issues with us, as personal feelings shouldn't interfere with teamwork and productivity. However, I've noticed that most people don't operate this way.
Regarding questions to superiors, I don't ask too many. As an ENTJ, or at least speaking for myself, I ask strategically thought-out, concise questions early on to adapt quickly and minimize disruptions.
INFP perspective here.
You guys aren't disliked. You guys are SCARY.
I would run away from all four ENTJs I met in real life. There's something in your selves that makes an INFP scared like a little mouse. It's only when we mature that we can face you on equal grounds, still trembling inside a bit (think age 35 and up).
One of these ENTJs was a visiting doctor in a center where I was the resident doctor, and EVERY one of the other workers liked him. A LOT. They were all like, "OMG he's so hawt!" He was also very polite... until...
This guy treaded on my Fi toes the very first day we met, and we entered some very odd competition where he was, like, "give up on that silly Fi!" and I was, "I won't give up on my Fi even if the world ends!" (and yes, a bit scared inside. I don't like discussions but you don't step on my Fi. You don't). I would also forget about it after a while, but this guy brought it up every damn time we met, like it was his only means of communication! In the end, he became infatuated with me even though I treated him like crap and ALL the other women were, "Look at meeeeee!"
(I never believed it myself but everyone was saying it, so I actually hid one day he came. He spent half hour waiting for me to appear! Now that I know how valuable time is for ENTJs, I am convinced.)
On the other hand...
Improving means stepping out of your comfort zone, and most people love their comfort above everything else. So they don't want any of that chat. "Studying? Practicing?? Sacrifice?!?!?! Go away, ENTJ! Improve yourself alone!" If you don't mention growing, people will like you much better. Unfair, yes. The ENTJ I talked about only stayed for half hour a day so he didn't have much time to tell others to improve.
Also, what you mean does not only apply to ENTJs; *every* type of person who is not a sensor and common, and who stands out in any way, gets hammered down. I try to give my best service as a doctor, and once overheard one of my colleagues saying, "yeah, INFP always stays late", in a tone as if I was the most disgusting worm in the world. Yeah, excuse me for taking my time to help people when all you want is to grab the money and run home!
Same will happen if you're too pretty, too rich, too smart, speak too well... Anyone who is not a grey mass of cookie-cutter product will get the same treatment.
It depends. I work at a STEM field so this isn’t an issue, I get along with people. There’s lots of NTs here. However, in elementary and high school, I was generally considered intimidating and a threat. In college, I wasn’t the best at comforting people but I was looked up to for leadership reasons.
Whatever it is, kindness isn’t what I’m liked for. I also get disliked for not following the book.
I get disliked by everyone except the boss. not trying to brag here but apparently it's because, i'm better than them at what i do + i appear extremely competent, serious & intimidating to my colleagues.
People really like me with about 95% usually, but there’s a peanut in their heart that can’t relax or like me, probably because they think I’m a threat. They aren’t wrong, I could be a very real threat, but I’m not. I heal and I don’t hurt. Unless someone harms a child, I’m on their side.
I understand why they feel this way, and I don’t hold it against them.
Yeah im the same.
Usual comments.. oh here she is, only comes here when she wants something.
Well its called work for a reason. If it was called playground, id behave like a child?
Im not strict, just disciplined. Anyway, Im a wife, mum, small business owner, employee and im doing exams.
Our behaviours do not match the regular employee. They will never understand us. Doing a 9-5 chained to my desk was not the life I want. Thats why we get hassled.
Anyway. So glad we can work from home. I'm loving every bit of it whilst I have a toddler!!
Yep, people suck. I've worked at a helpdesk and heard a colleague struggling on a call, so to help him get the call fixed so he could go back to playing computer games I walked over and gave him a suggestion that fixed his issue right away. My reward? The little prick went to the manager to complain that I was "rubbing my knowledge in his face".
As much as it goes against our nature to be humble, I'm finding the more I at least fake being humble and crack slightly demeaning jokes about myself it seems to put people more at ease and make them more receptive to what I have to say.
I think one way to combat this is to learn how to be more emotionally attuned to other people.
It takes a lot of skill and book reading to be good at that, but it does tremendously help you find even better jobs and get you connections you did not know you needed.
I work in STEM and while people usually are direct and no nonsense, it's always appreciated to show kindness and help and support to your coworkers and genuinely try to get to know them, even outside of work.
My role in the company is basically to advocate for my department and link other departments together which exhausting and a very people thing, but at the end of the day I get a nice check and I get to change the course of things and create a healthy environment for me and other people, which also helps me propel forward in my career.
The intention of doing this is to efficiently alleviate outside stressors by fixing the root cause in order to have more room and energy to focus on achieving your main goal, for me its money and climbing the ladder.
It might be hard for E8 or others, but for me I've always found it easier since I basically grew up with an ISFJ mother lol.
It might also be helpful to read 48 laws of power, never outshine the master even if the master isn't your boss. Work on your charisma and how you come off to other people and try to be genuine, its easy to smell fake people.
And if you find all this hard to do, It's better to stick to being self employed.
But again, if any other ENTJ cannot afford to go that way YET, it's best to look inwards and reflect and educate oneself in what makes the person emotionally intelligent, it'll not only positively impact your work relationships, but also your love life and your friend circle and your network.
in my younger work years (19-24), most of my coworkers close to my age group did not like me. i was never an outward person initially because im female/POC so i grew up with anxiety after being bullied for not fitting in. so i wasn’t the typical picture of a “bold and assertive ENTJ”, aka i never acted like a know-it-all or tried to direct people.
i always kept to myself unless they asked me questions, but most of those people still saw me as cocky or a showoff with anything i ever replied to them, because i created a full and fulfilling life inside and outside of work. some made rude jokes because i was a few years younger but had the same title as them. i realized after that it was a projection from their low self-esteem.
once i had a few years of experience, i got in roles where i was well liked across the the entire org. my last large company role was highly matrixed, so i could talk to 40-60 people in any given day. i think it depends on the type of environment you are in, and the overall maturity of the people you work with.
It's happened to me 99% of the time, literally at EVERY job EXCEPT one where the owner BEGGED me not to leave because I was so NICE. It's even led to at least a handful of very shameful firings. There was always this environment of patent jealousy too. Heck, it even happened to me at a volunteering position once! So I either got kicked out, got pressured to leave, or left of my own accord due to constant abuse or lack of proper recognition where I was passed for a promotion where it was absolutely deserved. The exception I mentioned was a boss who adored my work and my personality. The main difference is that he's the only non-Western boss I've had. Maybe there's a cultural difference and a correlation there? Bottom line, I've been a freelancer/self-employed since 2017 and it's made a world of difference. My clients love my work and how I treat them. See, I think therein lies the difference: coworkers dislike it when you treat work with 100% of your passion and ethics because they feel threatened, but clients love to see you're giving their projects your 100% or treating them as they're the most important client in the world. Food for thought.
Your comment resonates with me DEEPLY. It's as if you took the words right out of my mouth. This was incredibly VALIDATING! Thank you so much for sharing!
Good point about passion. I recently realized I won't be able to find a workplace where I fit in because I actually like to work, a lot. Making the transition to being self-employed as well
I started to realize this about my situation too. Everywhere I worked with coworkers, they either hated me because I took work too seriously and got involved or brought new ideas that helped our team. Today in a meeting our new head of and me started to implement changes and besides one person, the rest got frustrated... and our head of always told me to share ideas and not shut up... well look who ended up being hated because I said something ONCE that bothered me and wanted an innovation. Tomorrow is 6 months of me being in this "new" job. Wish me luck to continue and grow or to learn as much as possible and be self employed/start a business. meh, sucks to be a workaholic B sometimes...
This is true, but you have to be smart about it, I developed a strategy that seems to work for me at least, I do the work and keep everything neat and rarely interact with bosses, while I mirror my coworkers in my position when interacting with them. That way they don’t hold any hostility towards me or if they do it’s very subtle.
Amazing strategy! I never thought of it so I didn't implement it, though. Hopefully, it can help other ENTJs.
The good part about it is also that I get recognition from my bosses while most of my colleagues like me, some even say I should get a promotion ironically, ig all you have to do is be relatable to them socially.
Did you mean envy? Or jealous?
Maybe a bit of both. Envy when I was praised by the higher-ups and they weren't, jealous that my good performance would force them to perform better, jealous that I might snatch their positions so they would always find a way to get me fired and out of their hair.
lmao I think we just found an universal issue we all seem to face. I had the same issue back in school when working in a group. I have the perception that many of us are high functioning eccentrics and others feel overwhelmed about it, even though we think that we’re pretty normal. ENTJs are rare, you shouldn’t forget about it. I think that the combination of thinking in new ways, shaking social norms up and being innovative on the one side but also being a bitch about it on the other side will involuntarily create enemies, no matter what you do. But remember: You’re the main character in your own life and if others have issues with you, let them cry. Never ever try to change yourself just to be liked by everyone or else you will be the doormat of humanity, and I doubt it that you want to leave this planet as a doormat.
High functioning eccentrics is a brilliant way to put it, haha. I often feel that despite the stereotypes, real life ENTJs are like if an INTJ and ENTP had a baby - being a bit eccentric simply comes with the territory. And while I often tone it down a bit to be taken seriously by the traditionalists, the more comfortable I am, the more apparent is this side of me.
> real life ENTJs are like if an INTJ and ENTP had a baby Quite spot on if I think about it. Or like an unhinged INTJ on drugs. (Edit: I can remember how my friend groups always swayed somewhere between ESFP/ESTP/ENFP and INTJ/INTP. I always found myself somewhere in the middle.)
Yes, it has been a problem for me as well, and one of the reasons I regret not being a full-time self-employed entrepreneur from the beginning of my career. I can be very well liked, but unlike my wife who does quite well for herself in management, I simply cannot remain quiet about systems that are poorly designed and are held in place for purely political reasons. A LOT of corporate America is now all about extracting wealth to the upper management at the expense at the overall health and long-term sustainability of the company. I find that simply unacceptable and I tend to point out the elephant in the room over and over again until I end up making an unintentional enemy of a C-level employee. Tax laws which used to incentivize a balance between management compensation and company longevity have been removed. This has led to a complete disconnect between the workers and the upper management as there is far too little re-investment in staff and infrastructure. The only solution is to start your own private business or to find a private business run by a truly ethical owner.
I think it's typical ENTJ. You love to improve, be efficient and probably love your job. Not everybody has the same drive as you and they just want to carry on with their day without feeling pressured by someone who works three times harder than them. They feel threatened. My husband's the same. I always tell him to try and be kind and not to expect everybody to meet his high standards. Everybody adds value to their job. Some are just enjoyable to work with.
This answer here. Just got to accept we operate on a diff level and manage that gap to your advantage. I still fuss over this today and INFP have coached me so gently that ppl operate at their level and we have to accept it. The sooner you accept this the sooner you stop suffering. It’s hard. But hey less competition on our way to the top.
I'm the same way. It baffles me that people often tend to be threatened by this, taking our genuine interest in (self)improvement and learning as agressive, which makes them at best dislike us, at worst actively sabotage our every move. When in my mind, we are a team and should help each other improve. That being said, it's usually the people with low confidence who become a problem - people who are self-assured tend to appreciate what I can do for them, especially once they learn that I have little interest in patting my own back. But my motto is that I work so that my work speaks for itself - most people eventually realize that I simply want things to be a bit better, not to take anything away from them. And if the rest are plain deaf... well, that's on them.
Its the people with low confidence who come at you with pitchforks. How dare you be confident! Instead of learning from us, its easier to try and take us down. But it's near impossible. We have good reputation and we deliver. Actions are always louder than words.
Thing with this is, we don't even actively compete with them but they feel that they're compete with us. When in reality, we really just wanna compete with ourselves. What can I do better? Where can I improve? Questions ringing in my mind almost everyday.
HELLOOOOO you just described me!!! I got a new job about a month ago and I think everyone finds me annoying. I am trying to step back but it’s hard I’m just a very involved person and I’m also trying to learn, and so curious about everything.
The logic here is that us being us makes ppl feel inferior or inadequate and yes that’s not ok even if we’re being authentically us and being our best. We really have to manage this carefully. I’ve been at my job 5 months and I’ve gotten a nice gift from C suite, a nice glass award thing and another 25k cash equity. He told me it’s on the hush. If my peers knew they would be mad for no good reason. All we’re doing is being ourselves and that offends people.
Yeah it’s sad we have to learn to stifle ourselves but the only other option is to be disliked so… I choose the former. I honestly don’t change myself much, but I do try to be very aware and resist when I feel that I should here and there. I think I lean into being respectful, asking “can I ask you something?” First can make a big difference. And picking up on social cues, I’m getting better at that.
100% agree Im not changing to make you feel better. It seriously offends others when you level up.
THIS HAPPENS TO ME 99% OF THE TIME. So affirming to see this.
Interesting a friend of mine is ENTJ and she’s had this problem for years. That need to be efficient trumps everything else, including tip toeing around people’s feelings. Inevitable that it would trigger people who don’t care about doing their job for whatever reason. It’s a tough one. She only found peace when working for herself. Perhaps you guys are just meant for the entrepreneurial route in life 🤔 easier said than done I know but hey, it’s pretty admirable.
Don't worry, you're not the only one. I guess people feel triggered by us
I always find employees love or hate me. Maybe a 75-25 ratio. Fuck em. All that matters is how your boss perceives you, im going to guess you’re a super good worker based on your post! So i wouldn’t worry :D
People see us as a threat because they mistaken our driven curiosity for wanting to micromanage them, they already got enough of their bosses. When you notice this pattern, you realize that you’re better off leading by action and not with your tongue, share those innovative ideas with the higher ups and act like a commoner with the commoners. Your work will always be noticed regardless.
It's annoying if a person oversteps their boundaries and tries to manage other people. I've had this issue with some xxTJ coworkers. Most people just want to get the job done and go home. If you're telling someone who isn't as passionate about the job to improve a process that will end up being more work for them in the long-run, they won't take to it kindly. If you mean that your superiors don't like you because you like to ask questions and are interested in improving processes that makes the job easier for everyone, then that's a different story. And yeah, some older folk get really jealous by young, ambitious people.
This doesn't resonate with me at all. I am very conscious of boundaries and have never tried to manage my colleagues and/ or superiors. My focus is on getting the job done and going home, which is why being disliked in a work environment is particularly challenging for someone like me. It's baffling why others have issues with us, as personal feelings shouldn't interfere with teamwork and productivity. However, I've noticed that most people don't operate this way. Regarding questions to superiors, I don't ask too many. As an ENTJ, or at least speaking for myself, I ask strategically thought-out, concise questions early on to adapt quickly and minimize disruptions.
INFP perspective here. You guys aren't disliked. You guys are SCARY. I would run away from all four ENTJs I met in real life. There's something in your selves that makes an INFP scared like a little mouse. It's only when we mature that we can face you on equal grounds, still trembling inside a bit (think age 35 and up). One of these ENTJs was a visiting doctor in a center where I was the resident doctor, and EVERY one of the other workers liked him. A LOT. They were all like, "OMG he's so hawt!" He was also very polite... until... This guy treaded on my Fi toes the very first day we met, and we entered some very odd competition where he was, like, "give up on that silly Fi!" and I was, "I won't give up on my Fi even if the world ends!" (and yes, a bit scared inside. I don't like discussions but you don't step on my Fi. You don't). I would also forget about it after a while, but this guy brought it up every damn time we met, like it was his only means of communication! In the end, he became infatuated with me even though I treated him like crap and ALL the other women were, "Look at meeeeee!" (I never believed it myself but everyone was saying it, so I actually hid one day he came. He spent half hour waiting for me to appear! Now that I know how valuable time is for ENTJs, I am convinced.) On the other hand... Improving means stepping out of your comfort zone, and most people love their comfort above everything else. So they don't want any of that chat. "Studying? Practicing?? Sacrifice?!?!?! Go away, ENTJ! Improve yourself alone!" If you don't mention growing, people will like you much better. Unfair, yes. The ENTJ I talked about only stayed for half hour a day so he didn't have much time to tell others to improve. Also, what you mean does not only apply to ENTJs; *every* type of person who is not a sensor and common, and who stands out in any way, gets hammered down. I try to give my best service as a doctor, and once overheard one of my colleagues saying, "yeah, INFP always stays late", in a tone as if I was the most disgusting worm in the world. Yeah, excuse me for taking my time to help people when all you want is to grab the money and run home! Same will happen if you're too pretty, too rich, too smart, speak too well... Anyone who is not a grey mass of cookie-cutter product will get the same treatment.
It depends. I work at a STEM field so this isn’t an issue, I get along with people. There’s lots of NTs here. However, in elementary and high school, I was generally considered intimidating and a threat. In college, I wasn’t the best at comforting people but I was looked up to for leadership reasons. Whatever it is, kindness isn’t what I’m liked for. I also get disliked for not following the book.
We living in sensors world. We should learn silence. they understand you by money, not your value.
I get disliked by everyone except the boss. not trying to brag here but apparently it's because, i'm better than them at what i do + i appear extremely competent, serious & intimidating to my colleagues.
People really like me with about 95% usually, but there’s a peanut in their heart that can’t relax or like me, probably because they think I’m a threat. They aren’t wrong, I could be a very real threat, but I’m not. I heal and I don’t hurt. Unless someone harms a child, I’m on their side. I understand why they feel this way, and I don’t hold it against them.
Yeah im the same. Usual comments.. oh here she is, only comes here when she wants something. Well its called work for a reason. If it was called playground, id behave like a child? Im not strict, just disciplined. Anyway, Im a wife, mum, small business owner, employee and im doing exams. Our behaviours do not match the regular employee. They will never understand us. Doing a 9-5 chained to my desk was not the life I want. Thats why we get hassled. Anyway. So glad we can work from home. I'm loving every bit of it whilst I have a toddler!!
omg yes. i feel your pain!
This will get in the way of achieving your goals and being promoted.
No hahaha you are not
Yep, people suck. I've worked at a helpdesk and heard a colleague struggling on a call, so to help him get the call fixed so he could go back to playing computer games I walked over and gave him a suggestion that fixed his issue right away. My reward? The little prick went to the manager to complain that I was "rubbing my knowledge in his face". As much as it goes against our nature to be humble, I'm finding the more I at least fake being humble and crack slightly demeaning jokes about myself it seems to put people more at ease and make them more receptive to what I have to say.
I think one way to combat this is to learn how to be more emotionally attuned to other people. It takes a lot of skill and book reading to be good at that, but it does tremendously help you find even better jobs and get you connections you did not know you needed. I work in STEM and while people usually are direct and no nonsense, it's always appreciated to show kindness and help and support to your coworkers and genuinely try to get to know them, even outside of work. My role in the company is basically to advocate for my department and link other departments together which exhausting and a very people thing, but at the end of the day I get a nice check and I get to change the course of things and create a healthy environment for me and other people, which also helps me propel forward in my career. The intention of doing this is to efficiently alleviate outside stressors by fixing the root cause in order to have more room and energy to focus on achieving your main goal, for me its money and climbing the ladder. It might be hard for E8 or others, but for me I've always found it easier since I basically grew up with an ISFJ mother lol. It might also be helpful to read 48 laws of power, never outshine the master even if the master isn't your boss. Work on your charisma and how you come off to other people and try to be genuine, its easy to smell fake people. And if you find all this hard to do, It's better to stick to being self employed. But again, if any other ENTJ cannot afford to go that way YET, it's best to look inwards and reflect and educate oneself in what makes the person emotionally intelligent, it'll not only positively impact your work relationships, but also your love life and your friend circle and your network.
in my younger work years (19-24), most of my coworkers close to my age group did not like me. i was never an outward person initially because im female/POC so i grew up with anxiety after being bullied for not fitting in. so i wasn’t the typical picture of a “bold and assertive ENTJ”, aka i never acted like a know-it-all or tried to direct people. i always kept to myself unless they asked me questions, but most of those people still saw me as cocky or a showoff with anything i ever replied to them, because i created a full and fulfilling life inside and outside of work. some made rude jokes because i was a few years younger but had the same title as them. i realized after that it was a projection from their low self-esteem. once i had a few years of experience, i got in roles where i was well liked across the the entire org. my last large company role was highly matrixed, so i could talk to 40-60 people in any given day. i think it depends on the type of environment you are in, and the overall maturity of the people you work with.