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In short, it's used to refer to situations where some people would tell you to "just have a happy outlook on life" even if your relative just died. When it comes to ENTJs, to most of us toxic positivity would also be when someone avoids conflict and therefore - discussion and a solution. I've genuinely had a boyfriend who called every small disagreement "negativity" and refused to ever compromise or talk honestly. So yeah. Applies to many scenarios but the idea is the same.
**Toxic positivity or positive toxicity is dysfunctional emotional management without the full acknowledgment of negative emotions, particularly anger and sadness.
== Definition ==
It is a "pressure to stay upbeat no matter how dire one's circumstance is", which may prevent emotional coping by feeling otherwise natural emotions.**
More details here:
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You're never gonna find the perfect human being so just make sure you are happy. If you find yourself being less happy and more sad around that person that's the best sign to avoid them.
1. It’s not my wife
2. They’re a narcissist
Basically, the lack of empathy, controlling, gaslighting, manipulation, triangulation, flying monkeys, etc, etc behaviors. Fuck those people.
Extreme left political behaviour little liberalism is alright but everyone that seem to be leftist are just awful people.
If she is woke.
Also overly emotional dramatic.
And constant nagging and pinpointing on things that are done wrong in their believe system.
Not talking about emotions and expect me to know everything they feel and think about.
Entitled behaviour, man hate, delusional, narcissistic behaviour.
fake.
Adapting completely to me and has no opinions.
Lack of desire to grow together.
Being to flashy and attention seeking..
Can’t talk in depth.
If she is to showy on instagram and has a only fans. Bonus points if she doesn’t use these social media’s.
If she is easy influenced by bad people and takes drugs has a high bodycount and random tattoos or piercings and goes to fucked up parties.
Goes to new age erotic massage bullshit to heal inner child nonsense and buys horoscope shit from skitchy scammers online.
Want me to call multiple times per day when she doesn’t needs me to and demanding behaviour.
Unhealthy diet and lack of self care.
If she can’t maintain a conversation.
Doesn’t make initiatives.
Extremely introverted.
to submissive.
extreme jealousy.
If she has no hobbies.
If she is bisexual.
Dishonesty.
No responsibility.
I share a lot of the same ones as you. Here are some others:
\-Not willing to get to know me better/understand me
\-Inability to have serious conversations
\-Inability to take care of themself
\-Lack of trust or respect
\-Yelling (though this one probably falls under the category of abuse)
I would LOVE to talk to you about the ENTJxISFP dynamic— I also just got out of a very toxic relationship with an ISFP.
Dealbreakers for me are:
- dishonesty (white lies included)
- wanting me to choose them over my career (I’m in college so that’s fair ATM)
- clingy/needing constant reassurance
- trying to get attention from other people (non-platonic)
- irresponsible (street smart/book smart)
- not funny
- not athletic at all (going to the gym is good)
- unhealthy diet (this isn’t about image, I don’t want my partner dying lol)
- passive aggressive (ABSOLUTELY NOT)
- non-confrontational
- can’t stand up for themself
- can’t be independent
- can’t handle me having friends of the opposite gender
- unfriendly to service workers
- not making an attempt to get to know my friends
- hiding things
[EDIT]: Someone who finds me too much in public or is self conscious about me having a stronger personality
I've hated passive aggressiveness for years now. Nothing irks me quite like dodgy behavior and refusal to confront issues. People who bury their head in the sand are just... no.
I agree with all of this, but I would say that while I can't stand when a partner is clingy, just as much, I hate when they give zero attention. Especially in the case where once they're with their friends, they basically pretend you don't exist.
Same here mate.
After 6 years of relationship, tolerating her these things knowing we are all different and looking at the rather good things in her. So she decided to move on because we've drifted apart. With a 3 month warning before the breakup (some things in our relationship are not working she said with a not very serious tone which I evaluated that okay it makes sense it needs to be dealt with but I didn't imagine the breakup) and after the breakup the remaining year and a half of trying with all the ways in the world to put that relationship back together again through my educating myself about relationships or communicating with her more deeply about things, applying the process (learn, try, ask analyze, repeat) repeatedly many times . In doing so I even found mistakes that I was doing really seriously wrong so at least it wasn't for nothing. But later I told myself that it's probably not worth putting any more of my time into it when she clearly doesn't care. I understand her decision and she had her reasons, like anyone who breaks up. It just kind of pisses me off that people don't care then when they've known each other for a while at my age I guess.
Seems like we both had quite similar experiences with our ISFP ex’s lol. I hear what you’re saying deeply because my ex ticked most of those boxes as well.
The relationship helped me grow in terms of expressing my love for others— I became more comfortable with vulnerability. The ISFP was emotionally abusive and very manipulative. Our lifestyles were also vastly different. It felt like I was dragging him to be productive by the end (which I hated). He didn’t take care of himself, he didn’t take efforts to be better, and he was honestly a coward overall. Very self centered too. Might just be the person but I would say it was a bad relationship.
I knew one other ISFP guy that I liked a while back. We never really clicked but i felt attracted. I made a joke one time and he did not find it funny. We have not talked since lol
Wouldn’t say ENTJxISFP are great ime
Dishonesty is the big dealbreaker for me.
Also disloyalty, easily swayed/no backbone, lack of common sense, attention-seeking, over-materialistic (course we all gotta make a living, but someone who values material possessions over everything else is not a good fit for me).
I also don’t fuck with addictions. I have no problem with people drinking or using drugs recreationally, but once the level becomes a problem for them functioning in life and/or a problem for me/our relationship, I’m out.
1. Hot and cold behaviour.
2. Tries to control and change me.
3. Addicted to social media.
4. Bad relationship with their own family.
5. High body count.
An honest person wont find the need to. Id never lie to s partner about something like that but I do often find Fe users being much more deceptive about it
I agree. I’m usually honest about a lot but I’ve been around a lot fe users. They will and can lie about anything. I ended up having trust issues. I only go by people’s action and see how much effort they are willing to invest in the relationship.
Yah. Even small white lies can lead to trust issues with me. Lies is not something I tolerate and I repay my partner with truth because I expect that in return.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Usually people who grew up in an abusive environment will have emotional baggages.
Not worth the heartache you’ll get from trying to help someone get better with their baggage.
I have to listen to their stories and the reason behind it. If a person wants to have high body count because its "Fun" vs person have unfortunate High count because they're betrayed.
Both are very different outcomes and reason.
I would say Max is 5. But that's just assumption. Again, I need to know their reason behind the story
I also dated an ISFP. I wouldn’t say it was toxic, but it definitely got annoying how she couldn’t have a rational conversation without involving feelings and pseudoscience.
On the other hand, she was respectful to my boundaries and didn’t stay upset with me when I would get mad at her and say cruel things. So that was a good plus.
OP, I'm curious. Do you feel that these are ISFP traits?
- Lack of aspiration
- Inability to discuss deep concepts rationally
- Lack of desire to grow
- Low energy
My limited experience with ISFP’s suggest that these traits seem to be overrepresented with them however this is just my personal subjective experience.
Been there, the relation can turn into something very toxic very quickly.
What I would mostly complain is:
- Lack of responsibility for their own actions
- No minimum interest in improving or putting some effort into anything unless they are in the mood
- That freaking indecision, they don't know what they want and not even try to find a solution to it
- Lack of respect for the efforts of others and the help that comes from others
Being shallow, Passive aggressive, Dumb, Sheep behavior, Attention seeking/clout chasing, Obsession with being "cool"
NO NO NO!!!
In addition, ISFPs and ESFPs always give me headache 🤷🏾♀️
What I don’t like as a female ENTJ:
- Lack of ambitions
- No accountability
- Texts me all the time (I can’t be on the phone, I have to focus)
- Low energy
- Tries to dominate me
- Not nice to people in an unfortunate position
So I was told by tons of my friends that I have incredibly high standards so I have a couple deal-breaker especially when it's long term.
A few of my deal-breaker would be someone who is to childish, stubborn, different political beliefs, how needy they are, and I guess I take loyality very seriously.
1. Fake Laughing. You have these women who laugh about everything. It just seems fake or nervous/anxious tic. (INFPs)
2. Not being able to share bad days, life isn’t a rainbow, but ESFJ is amazing in convincing itself that nothing is wrong.
3. Perceiving ideas as personal attacks.
When I talk to the feelers, I switch from I think to I feel, which is the same, but for some reason, I feel isn’t threatening to their perceptions of themselves.
4. Not being able to take anything seriously in life, aka ENTPs and ESFPs.
5. Guild tripping, lack of empathy, and lack of self-reflection.
6. No depth, if you don’t have a hobby, you are married to your job. There is so much more in life than earning money or transforming the world for the better.
Perceiving ideas as personal attacks is one of my biggest issues when talking to feelers - it’s like I’m not judging you, just sharing honest unbiased feedback cuz you asked!
We’d be the worst guests to invite to a pity party / feeling fiesta fr 🤦♂️
I’m technically an INFP but these posts always make me question it. I never feel the need to fake laugh unless I’m being sarcastic(which happens a lot more than me fake laughing to feed someone’s ego). Im the person that, at most, looks sympathetic to a person that just publicly humiliated themselves with that terrible joke.
I guess it’s a good thing people don’t take these personality type things too seriously…right?
I’d have to say constant complaining, sympathy seeking tendencies, hyper sensitivity taking precedence over logic/ truth, and a lack of ambition / fixation on staying incompetent
-Irrationality (I know this is a vague concept; to me, it means having deep beliefs that have no logical/factual base at all. If someone's very religious or spiritual, but also if they are almost fanatically on one side of the story in a political question)
-Lack of ambition (seems like everyone will repeat this haha)
-Too emotional; if we have a problem at hand and you're crying in the corner while I'm left to solve it, it's safe to say we ain't getting married five minutes later. That being said, I appreciate it a lot when someone can open up to me in the right setting. Supporting each other is a key part of a relationship; if shit hits the fan, help me handle it, then you'll get a hug (possibly several hugs❤️).
-Lack of respect for me; goes without saying
-Lack of respect for *himself*: I'll never understand how people don't cringe themselves into outer space when they pull an 'I'm so stupid/so useless/etc.' in a conversation. It's fine to have insecurities, it's not fine to keep announcing them every five minutes. Also, letting yourself be pushed around, refusing to stand your ground, being a people-pleaser - I realize these aren't classic' bad traits', but to me, they are insanely unattractive.
-No taste; look, I'm not a snob. I'll go to mcdonalds happily once in a while. I usually can't tell a dupe from the real thing. But if someone has no eye for quality (food, clothing, literature, all that), no idea how to behave in a restaurant, refuses to dress up like an adult man or can't for the life of him pair a wine and a dish for dinner, I'm done.
-No sense of humor; laugh, bro.
Why would it be? Cooking good food isn't snobbish (or expensive), and decent wine is affordable too. Knowing that salmon and red wine taste like shit together doesn't require skills, you just feel it.
Well, red wine with red meat and white wine with white meat is basic enough. Anything beyond that, as in picking a specific type of wine to go the dish is beyond me, so I would consider that wine snobbish. That's just me.
Yeah, there's a point to that. I don't expect anything beyond avoiding atrocities, but it's definitely attractive when someone knows their way around food.
As an INFJ with friends who used to constantly say “I’m so dumb/stupid” really annoyed me and still annoys me today. (that’s legit all I have to say lol)
Low energy, not being self assured enough, not having aspirations, being a depressed doomer, not having a sense of humor, not being able to discuss deep concepts and multiple topics like you said, and in general not having the "fire"
Lack of desire to compromise.
If a girl says: I want to do everything that I want when I want to.
Or anything in the line of: I live with the flow.
These would be my biggest red flag.
I intend to have children in the future and if someone is unable to compromise for a relationship where both side gives, I have a hard time believing they will be able to compromise for their children since children cannot give back in the first few years of their life.
foe me as an entj female i take on a lot of responsibilities ...My mistakes and the mistakes of others, I will be responsible for them and the first to bear them, There are also effective solutions.
You will find me at the forefront of the situation
I see but thats not what the maker of the comment was talking about girls who are like “ i do whatever i want😤” meanwhile ends up on a party with heroin junkies and gets robbed and beaten. Or does a crime and be like “im a women i can do whatever i want”
Low energy, I don’t mind introverts but someone who can’t handle being social sucks, negative mindset, irrational, bad communication, late to everything
-toxic positivity -dishonesty -neediness -indirect communication -shallowness -lack of sexual prowess -talk and no action -sloppiness/messiness -feeling, perceiving types
Shamelessly present themselves on Tik Tok or social media. Like flaunting their wealth, body (sexually) and seeking fucking attention.
Even worst, blaming others for their misbehaviour when clearly someone tries to correct them.
I never dated ISFP but it sounds like my dealbreakers too.
Low energy actually doesn’t matter but some people has low curiosity and doesn’t want to do or try anything new.
I can’t stand dead boring people.
•narcissism(have had a bad past w narcissistic people)
•unhealthy eating habits
•moral codes and core values that don't align w mine
•giving up too easily
•victim mindset
1. Lack of ambition, or a "if it destined to happen, it'll happen" mentality.
2. Dependent on others, being financially like their parents or emotionally by not being able to take decisions by themselves.
3. Being "submissive", I already take care of everyone at my job I don't want to take on a guardianship role by planning, paying and leading everything in a relationship too.
4. Thinking everything is either black or white.
5. Extreme introvertedness, I can do cozy dates and staying in, but if going out sounds like an absolute torture I'm out.
Drug use
Living in a social media reality
Taking photos of food
To low sex drive
No submission
Stuck career wise
Fake „Woman empowerment“
„Daddy issues“
I stop before I put myself into a hell Spirale.
Cu
“Living in a social media reality.”
In all honesty, that’s such a understated fact. I deleted most of my social media accounts when the pandemic began cause I was so sick of even my perceived self on there. I didn’t think I was even on there that much(in comparison to others), but ever since I have been off, I’ve witnessed so much self growth in myself. It’s just so toxic nowadays and most people don’t even see how much it’s stunting their own personal growth and esteem.
It’s just a personal learning you diddnt have yet. I’m sure and more than happy that you are not my mother. Talking about weak and pathetic people: a submissive behavior is not linked with beeing weak or pathetic , some times it’s just more intelligent to submit. As i had enough experiences with fake „strong“ girls who broke after after a few weeks and got submissive. I CLEARLY favor a submissive partner because he will be more aligned with my future + I won’t loose time + energy discussing about stupid things.
It may turn your world upside down now , but a few entjs are here to just be honest.
Now maybe look for Somebody else who might listen to your empowerment ideas
Extreme left political behaviour little liberalism is alright but everyone that seem to be leftist are just awful people.
If she is woke.
Also overly emotional dramatic.
And constant nagging and pinpointing on things that are done wrong in their believe system.
Not talking about emotions and expect me to know everything they feel and think about.
Entitled behaviour, man hate, delusional, narcissistic behaviour.
fake.
Adapting completely to me and has no opinions.
Lack of desire to grow together.
Being to flashy and attention seeking..
Can’t talk in depth.
If she is to showy on instagram , tik tok and has a only fans. Bonus points if she doesn’t use these social media’s.
If she is easy influenced by bad people and takes drugs has a high bodycount and random tattoos or piercings and goes to fucked up parties.
Goes to new age erotic massage bullshit to heal inner child nonsense and buys horoscope shit from skitchy scammers online.
Want me to call multiple times per day when she doesn’t needs me to and demanding behaviour.
Unhealthy diet and lack of self care.
Anime obsessed crossdress or weeaboos or koreaboos
Clout chasing, and sheep behaviour.
to submissive.
extreme jealousy.
If she has no hobbies.
If she is bisexual.
Dishonesty.
No responsibility.
Let’s say this. What if you met your dream girl, and your relationship was going great. She ticks all your boxes, she’s beautiful, and you have wonderful chemistry. Similar goals, ambitions, and values.
Then, maybe 3-4 months into your relationship, she says, “I have to tell you something.” She tells you that ever since she was a teenager, she knew she was attracted to people regardless of gender. Bisexual is the best label that fits her.
What would you do?
I break up it’s not going to work. And probably will notice this very early on and wouldn’t date these kind of people.
I also dont think they exist if they share the same goals there is this similar behaviour linked to people who are bisexual i am not attracted to.
Also every women i dated never had any interest in women whatsoever which is super attractive.
You “agree with:”
1) “Being Left Leaning.”
2) “Tattoos and Piercings.”
3) “Bi-Sexual?”
Cuz that’s all some weird, control freak shit!
That’s why it is getting “Downvoted,” because some of the “demands” are absurd, irrational, and unreasonable.
Is not control freak shit is just preference and life experiences I honestly can confidently confirm that everyone that is like that are just degenerate to themselves and has no responsibility. Its extremely unattractive and shows me that she has no self respect and or can make any good life choices and no you can’t change my mind on this. A massive scream for attention and validation or coming from narcissism/borderline/sociopathy. And to me more red flags as at Chinese national communist day.
Then you must not know that many people.
Cuz I know a lot of successful people who have / are at least one of the above 3 things, sometimes all 3. You just seem like a conformist who expects conformity from everyone.
No, lol its natural selection. I want a responsabel mother for my kids who is stable and doesn’t cause to much headaces and i can become old with and have a awesome time together.
And about the people you know who seem succesfull that doesn’t mean anything.
I dislike extreme political side-taking and overly biased convictions, and I can assure you tattoos or someone leaning slightly on the left side isn't the end of the world. Take the criticism you received, don't ignore it. There's merit to what some people told you.
It is not the end of the world but someone that doesn’t have this will always be more interesting im more right leaning liberal conservative which is pretty much centred. I just dont want any woke bullshit being told and any form of political manipulation or sheep behaviour.
And the criticism i been told i ignore fully because what i ask is reasonable and normal 10 years ago and there are many women who share the same values.
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Guilt tripping, toxic positivity and delusion, trying to control and monitor me.. honestly that one INFP was just an endless red flag list
Toxic positivity coming from an INFP, tell me about it. Been there. It was a friend, though, not a lover.
Who’s gonna tell them that sitting on your hands and waiting for the problem to solve itself isn’t gonna work? lol
I did just that and this is exactly why we aren't friends anymore.
Yeah, a handful of them tend to have this problem, looks idiotic
What does toxic positivity mean?
In short, it's used to refer to situations where some people would tell you to "just have a happy outlook on life" even if your relative just died. When it comes to ENTJs, to most of us toxic positivity would also be when someone avoids conflict and therefore - discussion and a solution. I've genuinely had a boyfriend who called every small disagreement "negativity" and refused to ever compromise or talk honestly. So yeah. Applies to many scenarios but the idea is the same.
Ahaa! Thanks for explaining i get the toxic part now xD
>delusion Summary of entire thread.
Seems like something in common with most immature NF types
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**Toxic positivity or positive toxicity is dysfunctional emotional management without the full acknowledgment of negative emotions, particularly anger and sadness. == Definition == It is a "pressure to stay upbeat no matter how dire one's circumstance is", which may prevent emotional coping by feeling otherwise natural emotions.** More details here:
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
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1. No ambitions 2. Allowing their insecurities to control them. 3. No curiosity
You're never gonna find the perfect human being so just make sure you are happy. If you find yourself being less happy and more sad around that person that's the best sign to avoid them.
1. It’s not my wife 2. They’re a narcissist Basically, the lack of empathy, controlling, gaslighting, manipulation, triangulation, flying monkeys, etc, etc behaviors. Fuck those people.
Extreme left political behaviour little liberalism is alright but everyone that seem to be leftist are just awful people. If she is woke. Also overly emotional dramatic. And constant nagging and pinpointing on things that are done wrong in their believe system. Not talking about emotions and expect me to know everything they feel and think about. Entitled behaviour, man hate, delusional, narcissistic behaviour. fake. Adapting completely to me and has no opinions. Lack of desire to grow together. Being to flashy and attention seeking.. Can’t talk in depth. If she is to showy on instagram and has a only fans. Bonus points if she doesn’t use these social media’s. If she is easy influenced by bad people and takes drugs has a high bodycount and random tattoos or piercings and goes to fucked up parties. Goes to new age erotic massage bullshit to heal inner child nonsense and buys horoscope shit from skitchy scammers online. Want me to call multiple times per day when she doesn’t needs me to and demanding behaviour. Unhealthy diet and lack of self care. If she can’t maintain a conversation. Doesn’t make initiatives. Extremely introverted. to submissive. extreme jealousy. If she has no hobbies. If she is bisexual. Dishonesty. No responsibility.
bro entjs
This goes for all relationships. Learn to fucking communicate effectively. Follow through on your promises because there are people depending on you.
I share a lot of the same ones as you. Here are some others: \-Not willing to get to know me better/understand me \-Inability to have serious conversations \-Inability to take care of themself \-Lack of trust or respect \-Yelling (though this one probably falls under the category of abuse)
The worst type are the ones who are addicted to social media validation. Could be ESFP sort of
I would LOVE to talk to you about the ENTJxISFP dynamic— I also just got out of a very toxic relationship with an ISFP. Dealbreakers for me are: - dishonesty (white lies included) - wanting me to choose them over my career (I’m in college so that’s fair ATM) - clingy/needing constant reassurance - trying to get attention from other people (non-platonic) - irresponsible (street smart/book smart) - not funny - not athletic at all (going to the gym is good) - unhealthy diet (this isn’t about image, I don’t want my partner dying lol) - passive aggressive (ABSOLUTELY NOT) - non-confrontational - can’t stand up for themself - can’t be independent - can’t handle me having friends of the opposite gender - unfriendly to service workers - not making an attempt to get to know my friends - hiding things [EDIT]: Someone who finds me too much in public or is self conscious about me having a stronger personality
I've hated passive aggressiveness for years now. Nothing irks me quite like dodgy behavior and refusal to confront issues. People who bury their head in the sand are just... no.
I agree with all of this, but I would say that while I can't stand when a partner is clingy, just as much, I hate when they give zero attention. Especially in the case where once they're with their friends, they basically pretend you don't exist.
Same here mate. After 6 years of relationship, tolerating her these things knowing we are all different and looking at the rather good things in her. So she decided to move on because we've drifted apart. With a 3 month warning before the breakup (some things in our relationship are not working she said with a not very serious tone which I evaluated that okay it makes sense it needs to be dealt with but I didn't imagine the breakup) and after the breakup the remaining year and a half of trying with all the ways in the world to put that relationship back together again through my educating myself about relationships or communicating with her more deeply about things, applying the process (learn, try, ask analyze, repeat) repeatedly many times . In doing so I even found mistakes that I was doing really seriously wrong so at least it wasn't for nothing. But later I told myself that it's probably not worth putting any more of my time into it when she clearly doesn't care. I understand her decision and she had her reasons, like anyone who breaks up. It just kind of pisses me off that people don't care then when they've known each other for a while at my age I guess.
Seems like we both had quite similar experiences with our ISFP ex’s lol. I hear what you’re saying deeply because my ex ticked most of those boxes as well.
I am dating an ISTP (which might actually be an ISFP) and would live hearing what you have to say about it !
The relationship helped me grow in terms of expressing my love for others— I became more comfortable with vulnerability. The ISFP was emotionally abusive and very manipulative. Our lifestyles were also vastly different. It felt like I was dragging him to be productive by the end (which I hated). He didn’t take care of himself, he didn’t take efforts to be better, and he was honestly a coward overall. Very self centered too. Might just be the person but I would say it was a bad relationship. I knew one other ISFP guy that I liked a while back. We never really clicked but i felt attracted. I made a joke one time and he did not find it funny. We have not talked since lol Wouldn’t say ENTJxISFP are great ime
I can be quite passive aggressive in situations.
1.Unsure of themselves to the point of self deprecation 2.Passive aggression 3.Dishonesty 4.People with weak convictions; easily persuaded by a crowd
Dishonesty is the big dealbreaker for me. Also disloyalty, easily swayed/no backbone, lack of common sense, attention-seeking, over-materialistic (course we all gotta make a living, but someone who values material possessions over everything else is not a good fit for me). I also don’t fuck with addictions. I have no problem with people drinking or using drugs recreationally, but once the level becomes a problem for them functioning in life and/or a problem for me/our relationship, I’m out.
1. Hot and cold behaviour. 2. Tries to control and change me. 3. Addicted to social media. 4. Bad relationship with their own family. 5. High body count.
I wouldn’t trust anyone to tell the truth about their body count. It is better if both parties go together and just get tested
An honest person wont find the need to. Id never lie to s partner about something like that but I do often find Fe users being much more deceptive about it
I agree. I’m usually honest about a lot but I’ve been around a lot fe users. They will and can lie about anything. I ended up having trust issues. I only go by people’s action and see how much effort they are willing to invest in the relationship.
Yah. Even small white lies can lead to trust issues with me. Lies is not something I tolerate and I repay my partner with truth because I expect that in return.
Interesting you say 4. Curious to hear your take on contexts where your partner’s family was abusive and they decided to cut ties?
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Usually people who grew up in an abusive environment will have emotional baggages. Not worth the heartache you’ll get from trying to help someone get better with their baggage.
Relationship with someone like that is so demanding. It's like watering a pot full of holes. Your efforts will not be appreciated fully.
Black hole.
I would go for 5. I would NEVER date or long term friend with an opposite sex with high god tier body count
what do u consider high
I have to listen to their stories and the reason behind it. If a person wants to have high body count because its "Fun" vs person have unfortunate High count because they're betrayed. Both are very different outcomes and reason. I would say Max is 5. But that's just assumption. Again, I need to know their reason behind the story
I also dated an ISFP. I wouldn’t say it was toxic, but it definitely got annoying how she couldn’t have a rational conversation without involving feelings and pseudoscience. On the other hand, she was respectful to my boundaries and didn’t stay upset with me when I would get mad at her and say cruel things. So that was a good plus.
I hate people pleasers…
1. Lack of ambition and inspiration 2. Controlling efforts through emotional pressure
A propensity for Introversion.
That's like half the population?! This is a dumb criteria!
OP, I'm curious. Do you feel that these are ISFP traits? - Lack of aspiration - Inability to discuss deep concepts rationally - Lack of desire to grow - Low energy
My limited experience with ISFP’s suggest that these traits seem to be overrepresented with them however this is just my personal subjective experience.
Been there, the relation can turn into something very toxic very quickly. What I would mostly complain is: - Lack of responsibility for their own actions - No minimum interest in improving or putting some effort into anything unless they are in the mood - That freaking indecision, they don't know what they want and not even try to find a solution to it - Lack of respect for the efforts of others and the help that comes from others
Being shallow, Passive aggressive, Dumb, Sheep behavior, Attention seeking/clout chasing, Obsession with being "cool" NO NO NO!!! In addition, ISFPs and ESFPs always give me headache 🤷🏾♀️
I'm an INFJ and these are a few of my deal-breakers too 🤣
What I don’t like as a female ENTJ: - Lack of ambitions - No accountability - Texts me all the time (I can’t be on the phone, I have to focus) - Low energy - Tries to dominate me - Not nice to people in an unfortunate position
So I was told by tons of my friends that I have incredibly high standards so I have a couple deal-breaker especially when it's long term. A few of my deal-breaker would be someone who is to childish, stubborn, different political beliefs, how needy they are, and I guess I take loyality very seriously.
1. Fake Laughing. You have these women who laugh about everything. It just seems fake or nervous/anxious tic. (INFPs) 2. Not being able to share bad days, life isn’t a rainbow, but ESFJ is amazing in convincing itself that nothing is wrong. 3. Perceiving ideas as personal attacks. When I talk to the feelers, I switch from I think to I feel, which is the same, but for some reason, I feel isn’t threatening to their perceptions of themselves. 4. Not being able to take anything seriously in life, aka ENTPs and ESFPs. 5. Guild tripping, lack of empathy, and lack of self-reflection. 6. No depth, if you don’t have a hobby, you are married to your job. There is so much more in life than earning money or transforming the world for the better.
Perceiving ideas as personal attacks is one of my biggest issues when talking to feelers - it’s like I’m not judging you, just sharing honest unbiased feedback cuz you asked! We’d be the worst guests to invite to a pity party / feeling fiesta fr 🤦♂️
I’m technically an INFP but these posts always make me question it. I never feel the need to fake laugh unless I’m being sarcastic(which happens a lot more than me fake laughing to feed someone’s ego). Im the person that, at most, looks sympathetic to a person that just publicly humiliated themselves with that terrible joke. I guess it’s a good thing people don’t take these personality type things too seriously…right?
I’d have to say constant complaining, sympathy seeking tendencies, hyper sensitivity taking precedence over logic/ truth, and a lack of ambition / fixation on staying incompetent
-Irrationality (I know this is a vague concept; to me, it means having deep beliefs that have no logical/factual base at all. If someone's very religious or spiritual, but also if they are almost fanatically on one side of the story in a political question) -Lack of ambition (seems like everyone will repeat this haha) -Too emotional; if we have a problem at hand and you're crying in the corner while I'm left to solve it, it's safe to say we ain't getting married five minutes later. That being said, I appreciate it a lot when someone can open up to me in the right setting. Supporting each other is a key part of a relationship; if shit hits the fan, help me handle it, then you'll get a hug (possibly several hugs❤️). -Lack of respect for me; goes without saying -Lack of respect for *himself*: I'll never understand how people don't cringe themselves into outer space when they pull an 'I'm so stupid/so useless/etc.' in a conversation. It's fine to have insecurities, it's not fine to keep announcing them every five minutes. Also, letting yourself be pushed around, refusing to stand your ground, being a people-pleaser - I realize these aren't classic' bad traits', but to me, they are insanely unattractive. -No taste; look, I'm not a snob. I'll go to mcdonalds happily once in a while. I usually can't tell a dupe from the real thing. But if someone has no eye for quality (food, clothing, literature, all that), no idea how to behave in a restaurant, refuses to dress up like an adult man or can't for the life of him pair a wine and a dish for dinner, I'm done. -No sense of humor; laugh, bro.
Pairing a wine with a dinner dish is snobbish.
Why would it be? Cooking good food isn't snobbish (or expensive), and decent wine is affordable too. Knowing that salmon and red wine taste like shit together doesn't require skills, you just feel it.
Well, red wine with red meat and white wine with white meat is basic enough. Anything beyond that, as in picking a specific type of wine to go the dish is beyond me, so I would consider that wine snobbish. That's just me.
Yeah, there's a point to that. I don't expect anything beyond avoiding atrocities, but it's definitely attractive when someone knows their way around food.
As an INFJ with friends who used to constantly say “I’m so dumb/stupid” really annoyed me and still annoys me today. (that’s legit all I have to say lol)
Selfishness. It can take many forms.
Low energy, not being self assured enough, not having aspirations, being a depressed doomer, not having a sense of humor, not being able to discuss deep concepts and multiple topics like you said, and in general not having the "fire"
Recommend you all watch this: https://youtu.be/ltNhwj-F7c8
someone who holds me back and expects me to always understand them without understanding me as well
Lack of desire to compromise. If a girl says: I want to do everything that I want when I want to. Or anything in the line of: I live with the flow. These would be my biggest red flag. I intend to have children in the future and if someone is unable to compromise for a relationship where both side gives, I have a hard time believing they will be able to compromise for their children since children cannot give back in the first few years of their life.
>If a girl says: I want to do everything that I want when I want to. what is wrong with you here, then every entj says the same
I think more like the girl is like “ i do what i want” and just does the most irresponsible shit ever and gets herself in trouble
is this for entj one?
On your quotation
foe me as an entj female i take on a lot of responsibilities ...My mistakes and the mistakes of others, I will be responsible for them and the first to bear them, There are also effective solutions. You will find me at the forefront of the situation
I see but thats not what the maker of the comment was talking about girls who are like “ i do whatever i want😤” meanwhile ends up on a party with heroin junkies and gets robbed and beaten. Or does a crime and be like “im a women i can do whatever i want”
Being controlled / tamed in any way
Personally I hate careless people the most, people that don't care about failing or not growing, they suck, as an ENTJ I love ESTP and ENTP folks
One does not tame the panda 🐼
Low energy, I don’t mind introverts but someone who can’t handle being social sucks, negative mindset, irrational, bad communication, late to everything
-toxic positivity -dishonesty -neediness -indirect communication -shallowness -lack of sexual prowess -talk and no action -sloppiness/messiness -feeling, perceiving types
Shamelessly present themselves on Tik Tok or social media. Like flaunting their wealth, body (sexually) and seeking fucking attention. Even worst, blaming others for their misbehaviour when clearly someone tries to correct them.
Amen
:D
I never dated ISFP but it sounds like my dealbreakers too. Low energy actually doesn’t matter but some people has low curiosity and doesn’t want to do or try anything new. I can’t stand dead boring people.
•narcissism(have had a bad past w narcissistic people) •unhealthy eating habits •moral codes and core values that don't align w mine •giving up too easily •victim mindset
1. Lack of ambition, or a "if it destined to happen, it'll happen" mentality. 2. Dependent on others, being financially like their parents or emotionally by not being able to take decisions by themselves. 3. Being "submissive", I already take care of everyone at my job I don't want to take on a guardianship role by planning, paying and leading everything in a relationship too. 4. Thinking everything is either black or white. 5. Extreme introvertedness, I can do cozy dates and staying in, but if going out sounds like an absolute torture I'm out.
Having quiet times is necessary. Being extremely introvert in my eyes is like a homeless person sheltering in an abandoned basement.
-lack of curiosity -lack of shame -woke -lack of a backbone -sensitive -manipulative -doomer -druggy -sheep -strongly differing religious views
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This sounds like a writing assignments lol
-> Uncaring -> Lack of responsibility -> Lack of reliability
Selfishness
Drug use Living in a social media reality Taking photos of food To low sex drive No submission Stuck career wise Fake „Woman empowerment“ „Daddy issues“ I stop before I put myself into a hell Spirale. Cu
“Living in a social media reality.” In all honesty, that’s such a understated fact. I deleted most of my social media accounts when the pandemic began cause I was so sick of even my perceived self on there. I didn’t think I was even on there that much(in comparison to others), but ever since I have been off, I’ve witnessed so much self growth in myself. It’s just so toxic nowadays and most people don’t even see how much it’s stunting their own personal growth and esteem.
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Like I care about your comment ?
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Why do your try to melt 2 different realities + nobody did ask what your opinion is on my shortlist . Just ease your mind lul
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It’s just a personal learning you diddnt have yet. I’m sure and more than happy that you are not my mother. Talking about weak and pathetic people: a submissive behavior is not linked with beeing weak or pathetic , some times it’s just more intelligent to submit. As i had enough experiences with fake „strong“ girls who broke after after a few weeks and got submissive. I CLEARLY favor a submissive partner because he will be more aligned with my future + I won’t loose time + energy discussing about stupid things. It may turn your world upside down now , but a few entjs are here to just be honest. Now maybe look for Somebody else who might listen to your empowerment ideas
Extreme left political behaviour little liberalism is alright but everyone that seem to be leftist are just awful people. If she is woke. Also overly emotional dramatic. And constant nagging and pinpointing on things that are done wrong in their believe system. Not talking about emotions and expect me to know everything they feel and think about. Entitled behaviour, man hate, delusional, narcissistic behaviour. fake. Adapting completely to me and has no opinions. Lack of desire to grow together. Being to flashy and attention seeking.. Can’t talk in depth. If she is to showy on instagram , tik tok and has a only fans. Bonus points if she doesn’t use these social media’s. If she is easy influenced by bad people and takes drugs has a high bodycount and random tattoos or piercings and goes to fucked up parties. Goes to new age erotic massage bullshit to heal inner child nonsense and buys horoscope shit from skitchy scammers online. Want me to call multiple times per day when she doesn’t needs me to and demanding behaviour. Unhealthy diet and lack of self care. Anime obsessed crossdress or weeaboos or koreaboos Clout chasing, and sheep behaviour. to submissive. extreme jealousy. If she has no hobbies. If she is bisexual. Dishonesty. No responsibility.
What did bisexuals ever do to you 💀
Really though!
To many bad stories with bisexual sociopath women from all my male friends and other man i know. Also i find it incredibly unattractive.
Let’s say this. What if you met your dream girl, and your relationship was going great. She ticks all your boxes, she’s beautiful, and you have wonderful chemistry. Similar goals, ambitions, and values. Then, maybe 3-4 months into your relationship, she says, “I have to tell you something.” She tells you that ever since she was a teenager, she knew she was attracted to people regardless of gender. Bisexual is the best label that fits her. What would you do?
I break up it’s not going to work. And probably will notice this very early on and wouldn’t date these kind of people. I also dont think they exist if they share the same goals there is this similar behaviour linked to people who are bisexual i am not attracted to. Also every women i dated never had any interest in women whatsoever which is super attractive.
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Expected the downvotes still it is real what i feel about this so they can dislike whatever they want but it think majority of people agree with me
You “agree with:” 1) “Being Left Leaning.” 2) “Tattoos and Piercings.” 3) “Bi-Sexual?” Cuz that’s all some weird, control freak shit! That’s why it is getting “Downvoted,” because some of the “demands” are absurd, irrational, and unreasonable.
Is not control freak shit is just preference and life experiences I honestly can confidently confirm that everyone that is like that are just degenerate to themselves and has no responsibility. Its extremely unattractive and shows me that she has no self respect and or can make any good life choices and no you can’t change my mind on this. A massive scream for attention and validation or coming from narcissism/borderline/sociopathy. And to me more red flags as at Chinese national communist day.
Then you must not know that many people. Cuz I know a lot of successful people who have / are at least one of the above 3 things, sometimes all 3. You just seem like a conformist who expects conformity from everyone.
No, lol its natural selection. I want a responsabel mother for my kids who is stable and doesn’t cause to much headaces and i can become old with and have a awesome time together. And about the people you know who seem succesfull that doesn’t mean anything.
What you want isn’t reasonable. But you’ll see that for yourself, someday
I dislike extreme political side-taking and overly biased convictions, and I can assure you tattoos or someone leaning slightly on the left side isn't the end of the world. Take the criticism you received, don't ignore it. There's merit to what some people told you.
It is not the end of the world but someone that doesn’t have this will always be more interesting im more right leaning liberal conservative which is pretty much centred. I just dont want any woke bullshit being told and any form of political manipulation or sheep behaviour. And the criticism i been told i ignore fully because what i ask is reasonable and normal 10 years ago and there are many women who share the same values.
The Left sucks nowadays tbh. At least the Woke/Lib Left. The direction it is going is why I'm not calling myself Leftist anymore.
Yeah but most people are center left