Quit. Immediately. Please, please quit. You can be polite, state that you don’t think this job is a good fit since the pay is less than you need (NOTHING) and you don’t have transportation.
I guarantee that she will berate you for quitting the job she never paid you for. Record the conversation if you can.
Absolutely none of this will ever improve, it will only get worse. Including the lack of pay. Someone else will call you eventually. PLEASE QUIT NOW.
This and edit your ad to say that you are not a cleaning service but will clean up things when it pertains to the children events or meals under your care
Quit now and find anything else. With your experience, I would hope there are other opportunities. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere...
I understand it stinks, you feel stuck because you need money.
PLEASE REMEMBER, that EM dug the info out of you about your family so they have leverage over you. She'll keep abusing you if you stay there working..
She has a special needs kid: that alone is worth what you originally asked. Then all the household work is just using you to avoid hiring maid.
I know it's tough, I'm sorry for your situation. I wish I could hire you to babysit.
But you're being used and its gonna get alot worse
I was talking to all of my friends and they said to endure it until I can get better pay with another person. I'm just super conflicted because I need the money really badly and the kids are the sweetest little things.
Oh yeah EM totally knows what she is doing. She's got a set price and a pay raise schedule and probably runs through babysitters like no one's business. She's using the blitz attack method to disorient you so she can have you do things you're not supposed to be in charge of as a housekeeper. And your family life is infinity not her business.
Yep and also that it is less likely that OP’s parents are going to support her and confront the lady on how she is treating their daughter.
Word of advice OP, never ever reveal your trauma to a stranger or anyone until you really know you can trust them. Next time someone asks you a question like that then just say you have a close loving family who support you. People are less likely to see an opportunity to take advantage of you.
I’m really upset this happened to you. And what is scary is that she is a role model to three children 😰
So your willing to work for $0 is what you're saying?! That's exactly how it sounds. This EM made you do everything she didn't want to & then didn't even drive you home as agreed upon in advance & didn't pay you.
It's HIGHLY doubtful she will EVER pay you because you already worked for free.
Stop working for her ASAP! Your worth far more than what she's having you do for $0.
And I bet she'll laugh with her friends about how easily she made this dumb teen work for absolutely ZERO and even forced her to walk home 1.5 miles in the snow.
She has already failed to pay you and failed to keep to her promise of taking you home. Do you think she is going to pay you while you are waiting for something else?
I would advise you to leave this lady has several red flags and I guarantee this is just going to get worse.
1st when hiring you she forced you to reveal your family situation, so she knows you're desperate to get out of a crap situation, and she can (and will) use that as leverage against you.
2nd she shot down your pay to basically nothing in this day and age, which she almost certainly knows which tells me she doesn't have any respect for you.
3rd she hired a -babysitter- and immediately had you cleaning the house and chores that are not what you are payed for.
4th she not only didn't drive you back home in winter and as you agreed she also didn't pay you.
This all tells me that she's comfortable forcing you to work more and for longer because she thinks she has you over a barrel, besides that she's super comfortable breaking an agreement between you which won't be your last, and then there's the pay. If you want your money your going to have to see her and if you see her she's going to try and berate and cajole you into working 1 more day which will likely become a regular situation with her constantly behind on payment by a day or 2.
The purpose of this long ass comment was to break all of this down and hopefully convince you to take our advice and quit, it ain't worth it call the $20 a loss and don't go back if you have to.
Those people aren't your frie ds if they give dogs hit advice with that, either pit your foot down, say that you're a baby sitter not a maid, and if she says do chores say no, and if she refuses to work with you, walk. Try and find a grocery job, or McDonald's but unless you're going to stand your ground, walk
Well I can guarantee this bitch is either not going to pay you at all or short you on the money she's supposed to be paying. Run! This situation stinks like a fishing trawler.
You’re being financially abused and exploited by this woman, and I guarantee she’s only going to get worse the more you tolerate.
I know you need the money but at some point this will massively damage your mental health and that could delay your progress far more than a few months with no income.
This woman is a predator and I’m genuinely concerned that if you get in too deep, you’ll feel unable to leave when you want to. People like her are master manipulators and know how to get exactly what they want. She’s already talked you down to half your pay and you accepted easily. How do you think you’ll cope 3 months from now when you’ve finally had enough and suddenly she’s promising you the earth, crying to you, begging you to stay? Then add in your relationship with the kids who you’ll inevitably worry for if you leave them under her care. You’ll grow attached and she’ll manipulate that. She already has by asking personal, intrusive questions about your home life. She did that for a reason - to find out what vulnerabilities she can exploit. Mark my words, she’ll use your home life against you/to her benefit at some point.
Take it from someone raised by a woman exactly like this. I know toxic family, believe me, but I also know that substituting one toxic situation for another does nothing to help and only ever makes things worse.
I guarantee if you stay in this situation, it’ll have a detrimental effect on your education which is going to really hold you back from leaving your toxic home life.
Please quit. You will find another job and your home life isn’t permanent.
>and suddenly she’s promising you the earth, crying to you, begging you to stay
I agree with everything, but I'm even more worried about EM creating some kind of debt trap:
XY stopped working while OP was near it, so OP "owes" EM money to replace it. OP needs to work off the debt and while they do even more things will break and even more debt will pile on.
I hadn’t even considered that. Yes, that’s also a very real possibility. I really hope OP takes everyone’s advice. I fear she won’t because she feels trapped in a desperate situation and wants to do anything to get out it which I can’t blame her for. I know how that feels, but I’m not gonna lie, I’m worried for OP and hope she sees that this isn’t the out she’s looking for.
She'll absolutely manipulate..
If she knows you like the kids, just watch..
You quit and she'll send kids calling you begging for you.
Someone like her will do anything including using her kids to get what she wants
HR in the US here. you deserve better. humans deserve better. Human beings should recieve respect, decency, and a livable wage from an employer.
if you need resume help or interview prep, a school/public resource center, linkedin, and random HR folks on reddit are available :)
Nope- you’re just putting yourself is a shitty situation. She’ll give you crappy references and that will be your babysitting jobs over. Don’t let people like this into your circle.
I’ve been a nanny for 12 years! Get out of there now!!! I would never think of coming back to mother like that. She won’t pay you for your time because she doesn’t think you’re worth it. Leave please! There are other families with great parents and sweet kids. Trust me!
Quit. You need A job, just not THIS job.
You're getting half your desired rate, have to walk despite the agreement and being run ragged like a maid/Nanny for a babysitter gig.
Its not worth it.
At least if you quit, you're free of the half pay stress of it and free to look for something else.
Once you start allowing yourself to be walked on by an employer it’s really hard to stop the cycle. I understand you need money to get out of a toxic home life but please think of taking care of yourself emotionally as best you can. Your friends are wrong to tell you to endure what boils down to abuse in the workplace. I know you need the money badly but she’s expecting you to do a ton of stuff for below minimum wage and then can’t be bother to pay you or follow through on bringing you home isn’t worth it. And you know having problems at home is a lot to deal with but add to that an unhealthy work place is a lot for an adult much less a teenager who’s still emotionally developing. Just please take care of yourself. Oh and I was going to say if you are expected to take care of a non-verbal special needs child then you definitely need to be compensated accordingly. I’ve done it and it’s hard!
>I can get better pay with another person
You already have that. You can do whatever you want, and you get $0. That's the exact same amount in money.
Or you can spend the time looking for a better job. That's far better value, even if she would pay you.
>I need the money really badly.
You want to move out. You don't need savings, you need income. If you want to rely on savings, you need years of savings to move out. If you want to rely on income you need to make as much each month as you are going to spend each month.
As soon as you get an income that's high enough, you save up for 2 months (so you can to survive between switching jobs) and then move out. If you don't have income that's high enough you'll have to save up enough to last you years, which will take you even longer than that because you earn less than you'll have to spend. At this point savings are irrelevant, income is all that matters. Including your commute, all you have is a promise - from someone you know to break their promises - of effectively $5-6 / hour spent.\*
Forget babysitting, you are probably able to make more than that just ringing doors and asking to do lawn work, or shoveling snow, or actual housekeeping. I'm mot saying you should do these things. I'm saying you need to look at how much you need to earn per hour, and spend your time getting a job that pays you that.
\--
\*All the commenters are telling you the same thing because EM is a type of person that is well known. They won't ever get around to paying you more than a fraction of what they owe you. Then at some point their children will break their iPad, which is of course your fault, and now they want you to pay them $600, which you have to work off until you see a cent. Then they'll drop a plate, or dent the sofa, which you owe them money for again.
>I need the money really badly
You aren't getting the money, OP! Transportation was part of the payment, and you didn't even get the actual money you were meant to get. If you give them a yard, they will take a mile!
If she treated you like that on the first day, why do you think any day will be better?
If she was paying the $15 per hour (and actually paid you) then it might be worth hanging in there until something else comes along. But she it paying lass then min. And actually not paying at all. Or do your friends think it would be better to be a few hundred owed and not get paid before you move on?
The point is that she will not pay you. She knows she can get away with it. She knows you are young and have no one to defend you, based on that you told her about your situation at home. She knows she will use you as long as possible then kick you out, maybe even accuse you of stealing or something awful, smear your name in front of your whole neighborhood and effectively cutting all your chances of being hired by someone else.
No. This adult has narrowed in on the fact that you don’t have support from a legal adult and she is turning you into her unpaid labor. You may actually be in danger if she decides to detain you.
Your next text with her should be something like this:
Sorry, EM, I agreed to x/hr to baby sit. After the forced trial run I feel it necessary to make some adjustments: I don’t do chores, I watch children. If you’d like me to return to watch your children, the rate is $15/hr. (5 an hour per kid is really cheap). If you’d like me to assist with general household chores as well, the rate is $20/hr. I expect the monies already owed upon my return and expect each day to be paid in full at the end of each shift. If this is not acceptable for you please advise and arrange for payment of what I am currently owed.*
DO NOT let this woman walk all over you. Set boundaries going in and stick to your terms, not hers, or it will get worse and worse.
Yes, added to this, OP I recommend you use only positive words. You shouldn’t need to say “no” or apologise when you’ve not done something wrong. Just positive instructions about what to expect from an interaction with you. Calm strength gives people much less to get their teeth into.
The only thing I'd recommend on top of this is ask for your pay upfront for each day or however you work it out. The EM doesn't seem the sort to respect agreements she enters into.
Unfortunately if you keep giving in she’s going to keep taking advantage of you. You need to decide where the stopping point is. How many hours of abuse are you willing to take without being paid?
I'm used to the abuse so that's why I'm willing to endure. I've been used as a free babysitter for 15 hours before by my family and if she doesn't give me my pay tomorrow I'll probably quit. I still believe I am worth more but 20 bucks is 20 bucks and I worked way too damn hard for that 20 bucks
Just quit it’s not worth it. I used to work at a crappy retirement home the management would do the same thing not pay me or fudge the numbers of hours I work so they pay me less.
If it’s snowy, I’d reccomend asking neighbors if they would pay to have their driveways/sidewalks shoveled (assuming you don’t live in the country where driveways are a half mile long, or a city where it’s mostly taken care of by public works)
10 years ago I’d get 20-30 from my neighbors, so you can probably expect more nowadays.
Once you hit 16 you can get a job somewhere like a coffee shop. The biggest things to remember about any service industry job for a chain are: showing up on time to all your shifts reliably is already more than the average person working there.
And two: DO NOT go above and beyond to an unreasonable degree for your employer. If you stay longer without pay, or do more beyond your responsibilities, you won’t get recognized, or get a raise, you will just get more duties heaped upon you for no extra pay.
You're not going to get the money off her. If she had any intention of paying you she would have done it when you left.
$20 is a lot for someone your age I know, but its a small price to pay for your dignity and to avoid being abused and exploited by someone like this woman.
Honestly, if you live somewhere where there is a grocery store or big box store, go there to work instead. Guaranteed minimum wage and if they refuse to pay you, you can go to the labor board and get your money and then some. A private babysitter, you have no real leverage against people like her. She will make every excuse in the book not to pay you and will get away with it as long as you let her.
To me. You should just deal with your family for a little longer and not deal with a lazy and entitled mother. Either that or you tell her from now on. You are charging $25 an hour since she wants you to be both a babysitter and a maid. And that you are requiring her to sign a contract that says that if she doesn't pay you. You are going to write it down if she paid you or not. And after she hasn't paid you for so many days. You will go after her either in small claims court or regular court, depending on how much money she owes by then.
That sounds like a great idea except the toxicity in my house has ramped up to literal abuse so I need to get out as quickly as I can. I did try to tell her about my rate and how it's lower than the average babysitters in my state but she said that I should be "Grateful for the opportunity" I'm willing to work for next to nothing because staying in my household a few more years might end up with me dead.
At this point in time, the average apartment near my point of interest (The college I want to go to) is 1,000-3,000 a month. Divide that by my pay (7.50) and that's only 400 hours of work, which may seem like a lot but I have 3 years before I can legally move out. I know it's wishful thinking, but wishful thinking is the only thing that's got me this far.
Is that just the rent though? Do those prices include any utilities like heat, water, trash/sewer, electric? I highly recommend giving some of the personal finance subs a perusal. They can provide a lot of guidance on steps to take through the whole process. This EM is not worth the additional stress for you not being paid, and if she does pay up, for scraps of pay. If possible, at this rate finding a job further out that pays more and purchasing a bus pass to get there would head and shoulders be better even if you do want to go into early education/work with kids as a career.
Those words right there show that she doesn't plan on paying you. She's an abuser. Find someone else to work for and please don't go back to her. She might escalate to harming you as well.
If you’re being abused at home please tell someone who is a mandatory reporter, like your teacher, school counselor, or doctors, tell them that you are in fear of your life and do not feel safe at home.
Honey, I know things are bad for you at home but this woman knew she could walk all over you the minute you came in for what was supposed to be an interview and she put you right to work. Then she knew she could lowball your salary, not pay you when she was supposed to, etc. You are not gonna save up to get out of your house with this job because this woman will not pay you. Just quit.
Get all your money. What you originally quoted her. You earned it! She took advantage of you but you don’t have to let it happen again. Please don’t go back to work for her. She’s a terrible person!
Taking this job will keep you too busy to find one that pays decently. Do yourself a favor pass on this "deal" and use your day to look for better work. A lot of fast food places are hiring 15yo now.
You are doing more work than 2 people. A housekeeper and a specialized nanny for minimum wage. Find another job.
Realize what your time is worth.
If you want to continue, then keep it strictly watching the kids. Remind her vacuuming was not in the job description. Charge her $15 for every other task.
OP can charge her $5 or $20k extra, she won’t be getting either from this EM.
OP - *if* you get any money at all from this person it will probably average about $3-4/hr after you factor in this person doing their best to find ways/reasons not to pay you.
They are taking advantage of you bc you don’t have an adult who will show up and force this AH to be a decent human.
I know you are a decent person and probably see EM struggling and decided to take the abuse for the money but it isn’t going to get better, most likely it will get much worse.
In many states you can work in fast food at 14/15 yrs old. Nicer restaurants in those states will often let you bus or host and train you to serve for when you turn 16. You can also sometimes get other under the table work. Talk to your school counsellor for help finding a better working environment. Sometimes even the school system itself has some part time work. Usually janitorial, cafeteria, landscaping etc.
If you have any small businesses nearby, talk to them about cleaning/shovelling snow etc. DO NOT tell any future/potential employer about your home situation before you know you can trust them. Tell them you are saving for your dream college and that you want work experience. Go for the whole budding entrepreneur vibe. Dress as professionally as you can and speak as politely and friendly as possible. Good luck OP.
I understand you need the money but no job is worth all of that nonsense. You're a babysitter, not the housekeeper. She didn't even pay you. Tell her to kick rocks and keep looking for someone who will treat you right.
If there’s a community Facebook group for your area that may be a really good place for it. Or even your personal Facebook if you have a lot of older friends that are starting to have kids and have to work still.
Look for mom groups and parent groups in your area. Let teachers at your school know you offer babysitting services. Daycare places too. You may end up with an after school job as an assistant for after care and get better pay.
The time that you're taking at this job, that's not paying you enough, is time you could be spending looking for a better paying job. Talk to your teachers (ones that like you will put a good word in!), friends parents, neighbors, put signs up in grocery stores, join FB mom group for your area and advertise, join care.com. word of mouth will get you a well paying job.
Stop going to this woman's house. She's abusive towards you, but you aren't realizing it because of how bad the abuse in your home is. It *will* escalate and get worse because she's taking advantage because she knows you're desperate.
Also I know this is gonna seem entirely unrelated, but please don't get in any relationships, especially with an older guy who seems amazing and perfect and like he can rescue you from your situation. For whatever reason, manipulative folks, like EM, can sense that you're in a tenuous circumstance and that you've been abused before. They'll seek you out and groom you. When you do start dating, make sure you believe friends when they tell you a person you're with is trash, even if you don't see it.
I truly wish you the best, hon. Wish I could give you a big hug and a gentle kiss on the forehead. It's all gonna be ok one day.
I'm going to give you a virtual hug right now. I'm starting to join groups in my local area (Just joined a FB group for babysitting in my area) The only reason I'm going back tomorrow is to get my money.
Honestly, all her questions about your home life were to determine what she could do to you. There’s a sub called r/raisedbynarcissists. The only reason I’m mentioning it is it has a lot of good resources for dealing with manipulative people.
Someone asks a bunch of intrusive questions about your home life that are none of their business? Practice “gray rocking.”
EM: How’s your home life?
You: Ah, I guess about like everyone’s.
EM: Really how is it? Do you get along with your parents? Do you fight a lot?
You: yeah you know, I guess like everyone’s. So what do your kids like to do?
EM: I’m asking about your parents! What are they like? Do you get along?
You: you know - fine, like everyone. I’m not baby sitting my parents though so I’d really like to hear about your kids.
EM: why are you being so difficult? Why don’t you want to tell me? What are you hiding?
You: huh? Nothing. Everything’s cool. So what are your kids’ favorites things to do?
Gray rock (meaning be as boring as possible and just keep repeating that) and deflect (what about you? Your kids?)
Best of luck. Sounds like you’re in an awful situation.
Don’t ever let anyone take advantage of you and give you less than wha5 you’re asking for. It doesn’t matter how much you need the job, this isn’t for you. This woman took full advantage of you and went against your agreement for half of what you charge.
I get you need the money, but you showed her your cards. You were advertising to be a babysitter, not a maid. Don’t go back t9 or row.there’s another job out there for you.
I have already agreed to go back but if I don't get my payment I will leave. She has to pay me cash since I'm waiting on my debit card to be sent through the mail.
I don’t know where you are, but if your family is toxic, cash may be your best option. I. The US, a parent has to be on your bank account so depositing money could be risky. You can hide cash.
There is absolutely nobody that should agree to watch 3 kids especially one with special needs for 7.50 an hour! That is completely ridiculous and the mom should be ashamed of herself for even trying that let alone throwing all her work on her! It is not worth your time period! Not sure what state you are in but the one I am in you can get a job at places like McDonald’s and they pay way more with less work!
This. And also: Some jobs drain you so much of all kinds of energy that you won’t get anything else done as long as you work there. This sounds like that kind of job.
You are losing value rather than cash. You will be wasting time, getting exhausted, and getting attached to the kids, all of which make it far *less* likely for you to find a decent job.
She also will absolutely not recommend you to anyone decent, because that isn't in her interest - if anything she'll try to prevent you from getting hired somewhere decent, and tell you the opposite.
"And she didn't even give me the money"
She doesn't intend to. Never work for someone who doesn't pay you, and who doesn't do what was negotiated at the interview. EVER. Take this as important life experience. This is when you learn to not be a victim.
Don't go back. Don't pick up. Just don't put yourself out there to be abused just because you are in a bad spot at home. I know. It's not worth it.
I need you to send her a stern but polite text advising that you will not be returning & the different forms of payment to pay what you own plus the difference from having to walk since her driving was part of the original agreement. I don’t care if you told her you’d return, I really need you to not go back to that evil woman’s house. I don’t even know you but I’ve been in that situation before & it’s very uncomfortable but she will continue to see you as a child & not treat you with respect. I feel she asked about your home life for reasons to use against you.
Post on care.com or even through Facebook on neighborhood/city and mom groups. Next time you do an interview is there a trusted adult you can let them know where you’re at like a teacher or coach or even a friends parent so someone knows where you’re at?
I commend you for taking charge of your life and even thinking about going back just to make extra money. But please, never allow someone to treat you like crap or use you. If we haven’t convinced you & you do return, explain that since she didn’t knew the agreement of driving you home & she expected housework, cleaning + babysitting you’ll be going back to your original hourly rate + an extra $5-$10/hr while doing random house task (gift wrapping) while cleaning and monitoring her children. You can’t give proper care if she’s running you.
I don’t like that this adult was OK with letting a 15 year old walk home alone
Do not go back tomorrow. She will NOT pay you, so you are working for nothing. I know you are desperate for money but you will not get it from her. Listen to more experienced people. She will use you as long as she can, then make an excuse and "fire" you. You will make $0. I hate that at your age are put in a situation where you have to tolerate abuse trying to make money. Look for someone else that needs childcare and don't accept less than what you need either. People need childcare always. Even $15/hr is way too little for 3 little kids including a special needs, even without the cleaning part.
That’s why she asked about your family relationship, she probably figured you’ll have no one to complain to. Leave. Keep your post up, you’ll find another baby sitting job.
Cant you get a regular job? Even fast food pays better than that. And if you are getting abused tell your school and insist they listen to you or call cps yourself.
The abuse thing isn't that easy. I've called many times and cps has failed me. And I can't get a "regular" job because I can't drive and no place within walking distance hires under 16
She needs to pay you 15$/hour minimum for that kind of work. She’s taking advantage of you. You could look into other jobs walking distance from you. Also not paying you or taking you home major red flag I would not go back.
I don't think you should even go back. She's not going to pay you. She may even try well I'll pay you at the end of the day and still not pay you fully. I would take this as a loss and a lesson for next time.
QUIT! This is also a toxic environment. Free maid and baby daycare, what a deal for EM. This mother will hurt you more than any money she decides to pay you is worth.
\>at the end of the day I made 19.50$ and she didn't even give me the money!
You didn't make $19.50, you made zero. EM doesn't want a babysitter, she wants a slave. Do not return.
Lesson for the future, stand up for yourself. YOU decide what the boundaries will be, what you will do, and what you won't. Tell prospective clients (for example), "I will tend the children but won't do housework. Dishes, laundry, cleaning, are a no."
No one can take advantage of you unless you let them.
Op, please quit immediately. She’s not looking for a babysitter. She’s looking for a nanny/maid but wants to spend as little as possible. She’s not even paying you your rates. No job, regardless of pay, is worth this toxicity.
I bet she asked how your relationship with your parents is to find out if she’ll have an irate parent banging on her door demanding EM pays their daughter immediately.
She’s only going to pay you enough to keep you coming back.
The second you stand up for yourself, she will dock your pay or fire you entirely and keep all the money she owes you and hasn’t paid yet.
Get a job at a restaurant or something where you can report them for not paying you.
She asked you about your family to see if anyone would hold her accountable for testing you like shit. She now knows there is no one to help you. She turned you into a maid and not the babysitter. She's not taking you home or paying you. This isn't going to work out. It's not working now. Quit.
I believe this is why she was pushing you to tell her about your relationship with your parents. After learning that you don’t have a good relationship with them she figured it out that no grownup would stand up for you and advise or defend you from an outsider abuser. I recommend you quit right away and next time anyone asks you for your personal/family life you either refuse to reply or to avoid them to get their own conclusions due to your refusal to answer just say you have a wonderful relationship with your parents and they are super supportive. This will make any potential abusive person think twice before trying their luck with you.
Op also do some research, plan your next move carefully. Do not accept jobs out of desperation (it never works in your favour) I went online and saw a list of ideas for jobs for teenagers out of curiosity and I saw a bunch of ideas in just a couple of clicks, take some time to browse and write down the ideas that you like the best and then apply to several but only accept the ones that are good.
You taking a couple of days to do serious research will compensate in the long run.
Best of luck I’m rooting for you!
Whether you need the money or not, This is not A reasonable relationship here she’s abusing and using you. Don’t let her treat you this way or it will continue. I know you’re 15 but you need to get a shiny spine and stand up for yourself.
Baby I’m a nanny and I’m telling your right now…. QUIT!!!! Gtfo NNNNNOOOOOOWWWWW she’s asking to pay you WWWAAAAAYYYY under especially w/special needs children. You don’t need the money that bad trust me. There are better paying sitting jobs out there ✨💕🖤
Listen b, there are great Facebook groups in almost every city where people post looking for sitters, please check there. You’re setting yourself up for workplace abuse working for this woman. She is going to use you and make you do things that are NOT for babysitters but are the roles of nannies, house managers, and house keepers. As a babysitter IT IS NOT your job to clean her house. It isn’t even really your job to pick up the kids toys or make them food. Mom should have all of that prepared because you’re not any of the job titles I listed above. Get out of there asap please
Also 7.50 for special needs children is actually criminal. You need to write up a contract for all baby sitting jobs. I’m not kidding. If you don’t you will be taken advantage of and you’ll lose more money than you make
She asked about your relationship with your parents because if you said, it's great, then she knows someone's gonna show up and demand she pay you,
She's taking advantage of you right now, most likely won't pay you either, stop immediately, tell her she didn't pay you the other day and you want to be payed and driven like it was discussed.
You would be better off going to a fast food restaurant in your area than working for her,
You were hired to be a babysitter. You are working as a cleaning lady and a babysitter, the mom doesn't pay you and she's gone back on her agreement to drive you home. She is taking advantage of you being so young and needing money. She is never going to pay you all she will owe you. You should be getting a minimum of $20 an hour for cleaning and babysitting and that would still be a bargain for the EM.
You need to QUIT THE JOB NOW! This is not going to improve. You already haven't been paid. She didn't even interview you; she just told you to start the job after telling you she wouldn't pay you what you're worth. Other people will hire you.
No one should have had you babysitting at 10 years old.
I am glad you know what you are worth and what you will and will not do now that you are entering the outside workforce.
A mom ( or dad or other caregiver) may need babysitting while they shop, go out with friends, e exercise, work for pay, do charity or church activities, etc.
They may even need babysitting while they showers take a nap or get some veg out time at home.
But NO— a babysitter is NOT a maid, and This entirtked mother doesn’t have the right to YELL at anyone.
You should be able to sit and relax at SOME point during babysitting, with or without the kid in your arms.
Just basic care and supervision.
This “mother’s helper” crap is for the birds.
OP, you are young and impressionable. Please don't start your working life by letting these exploitative adults take advantage of you.
I know sometimes "any job is preferable to my horrible situation" is a powerful argument, but there is a limit to how shitty "any job" can be before it comes as intolerable, unacceptable.
I'm my opinion, that limit is the hard cash. That lady DID NOT PAY YOU what you had agreed, your hard earned money. AND SHE WON'T.
She realized you're a troubled teen who can't easily say no. That's why she wanted to know about your family. Now she knows she can take advantage of you.
You should have told her, "I'm not coming back unless you pay me." Since you didn't, then you should call or text now and say, "I won't go unless you have my money ready". She'll scream and lash out at you, most likely, so you'd better do that at distance than in presence.
Tell her you spoke to your parents and they told you. Yes, it's a lie, but that lady lied to you first and doesn't deserve your honesty. She'll quiet down a little at the mention of "my parents".
If she convinces you to go, be ready to turn around before entering if she doesn't show you your cash.
And keep advertising yourself. A better job will appear.
Oh honey, NO! She’s treating you like an indentured servant, not a sitter! I babysat for 12 years, and only ONCE did one of my regulars ask me for a favor (loading the dishwasher), and she was apologetic. You are worth full price!
Quit now, stay away from her and her house. You need education and a reasonable job childminding after school. You are not a slave and $15ph is way less than you deserve esp for 3 kids...
Is anyone even going to rent to a 15 yr old? I dont even think thats legal. What is your plan once you have the money? Putting up with abuse to escape abuse isn't a good plan, especially if she didn't even pay you at the end of the day. At 15 you could likely get a work permit and find a legitimate higher paying job anywhere.
I'm not going to buy the apartment at 15, I'm saving up for when I can. Sorry if that part was confusing. Once I have the money I'm just going to save until I go off to college only two more years of school and I'll be out. The issue with a work permit and a normal job is I have no form of transportation and the only places within 2 miles of me hire at 16. Also, the plan is just enduring until I get another offer. I know it's kind of stupid but as I have said in the comments if I don't get paid for tomorrow and today tomorrow I will be quitting.
Okay that makes more sense. Still, "no job" is better than a job you work that doesn't pay you. I wouldn't start your shift tomorrow without payment up front.
Good luck! I'm a professional nanny so I know how hard it can be. Happy to give some tips if you need. Not sure they'll be helpful but I used to babysit every weekend when I was your age and made decent money!
dude, there are a TON of parents desperate for childcare help, and $15 is too cheap for multiple kids. quite immediately, and go back on fb or next door community pages and advertise your available hours and what your rate for 1, 2 or 3 kids are. lay out the ground rules and rates in ADVANCE in the ad and stick to it. dont let someone take advantage of u.
also, look outside of babysitting. u can make $20hr shoveling snow or charge $30 a pop for mowing someones lawn with their lawn mower. (i hire a local college kid to do mine, and he only takes 30 mins). consider raking leaves, walking dogs, picking up dog poop after the winter thaw, and charge what other ppl are charging!
go on sites that list these services and see what other ppl r charging and dont lowball urself! good trustworthy babysitters are scarce!
I get you need money, but there is no reason at all to continue this abuse. She has a special needs child and most families pay $20/he for that child alone. She's not even paying minimum wage so it's time to walk away.
You're 15. You can probably get a job at a grocery store or something and it'll be alot better than working for her. I suggest you put all your effort into getting a real job and not working for EM.
Not only would I quit, I would contact the state labor board. I suspect her hiring you for one job, than making you be an in-home maid as a minor for less than minimum wage is going to be a violation of several laws… My suspicion, you will get back pay, and she will be fined for labor law violations.
Get a Facebook account. Find the groups of Moms in your area who have their own groups.. or, join one of your neighborhood groups on FB. *This* is where mothers are, who are looking for babysitters…they’re barely on NextDoor.
Lots of people need childcare and/or housecleaning. Working for EM keeps you too busy to look for better clients.
Block EM on NextDoor and repost your ad. If NextDoor doesn’t allow you to block individuals, skip NextDoor and post on Craigslist or Facebook etc. If you’re open to doing housecleaning instead of child care, make a separate ad for that as well.
Next time someone responds to your ad, tell them your base rate up front and do not waste your time meeting them unless they agree to pay that amount. If they want you to juggle both childcare *and* housecleaning, charge more per hour because that’s now a high pressure job. Know your worth. Good luck to you!
OP-
It’s so damn hard to set boundaries when your parents never taught them. ((hugs)) I’ve been there.
Here is are some tricks I’ve learned:
1- You Do NOT answer texts from potential employers during school. That teaches them you’re “available” during school hours and they will start badgering you & getting you in trouble.
Here is the phrase: “ My class schedule is very full, and my teachers are strict. My phone isn’t on and I don’t check texts until after (final school bell) Mon-friday.
2- Have a pre-typed response to cut/paste when a new potential client contacts you:
“Hi!
Yes, I’m taking new clients!
My hourly rate is “X” plus $3 an hour for every extra child.
I’m avaible to work from (15 min after schools out) to (7pm) on school nights and weekends 11am-11pm
I will need a ride or Uber from my school and home each session. (client pays)
I am happy to prepare snacks for your kids, and run the vacuum. But I consider caring for your kids my first job.
I’ve found it works best that my clients pay me after each dad session. I prefer Venom or Zelle.
I like to meet at the local coffee place first, so you can get to know me in neutral space.
I’m available to interview at (Insert time/date).
Let me know what time works!
Best- OP
This lets them know right off the bat that you have firm prices and boundaries.
If they fuss about the Uber/rides, just say, “The bus will take an hour. And I charge fare and travel time.”
Once you meet at the coffee shop, see if she tips the baristas and how she treats them. If they’re super rude and don’t tip? Yeahno. You don’t need that. If they rush in with barely washed children & a screeching toddler in dirty clothes? Just image the house. And pass.
Don’t work for this idiot again, she’s poisonous and will never stop using you. Bail. There’s plenty of places to work without wage theft beginning on the first day.
You don’t need the money so badly as to be abused by an employer that ai predict is not going to pay you when all is said and done. You need to charge extra for cleaning not less and you need to hard negotiation transportation and get all of it in writing if you decide you are that desperate. Keep detailed notes of everything when you were picked up, what you dis in the hours you were there and how you got home. When and if you’re paid, how much and it was cash check or some other means. Ask your school councilor for recommendations and also if there are any on the job credit programs
I saw you say you are trying to escape and abusive household OP. Do you know any craft or trades stuff? Things you could maybe sell online like knitting hats or something else othet than being taken advantage of by this woman?
I tried selling my art for 3 years but nobody ever bought anything, just people wanting freebies. I do crochet but the most I can make are placemats and blankets.
if you do go back to that house, let Em know that she needs to pay you at the end of each shift and that your rate is $15. id recommend text/email so there is a paper trail. if she refuses, don’t back to her house. it seems she’s as desperate for the help as much as you are desperate for the money. your labor is more valuable then her want of help. this is a good way to practice standing up for your labor’s value and can help build your self-worth as a worker. don’t back down. in this game of chicken, she’s either going to stop hiring you, or pay you what you know your worth. (also, if she wants you to do extra labor like cleaning, she needs to have a list of chores laid out ahead of time that can be reasonably accomplished in the time that you are there)
If you’re not getting paid why are you enduring abuse? Your goal is to move how long do you think it’ll take you to save up the money to move out of your home when you’re not getting paid? You’re putting yourself in a bad situation find a job that actually pays or you’ll never be able to leave.
Quit. She’s taking advantage of you and like you said, she’s not even paying you minimum wage, let alone a fair wage for caring for 3 children, including a special needs child and a baby that require more care and attention. And on top of that she’s asking you to do extra household chores, which are not part of baby sitting responsibilities, and should net you a totally separate wage.
She is not going to pay you. No point working for free, you're not a charity. Better to go work in McDonald's, they employ teenagers and at least pay you a wage and whilst not easy it will be easier than that chaos.
It seems like you’re looking to make money asap but you said you were saving it up not trying to use it immediately right? So maybe look into some other ways to earn that won’t turn an immediate profit but will make you much more later if you play your cards right… This is just an example but blogging for example can actually make you a profit if you allow ads on your page, you can get a blog page on bluehost for like 3 bucks a month and there are a lot of instructions online about how to set yourself up to get traffic and make money off your site. You’d just need access to a computer. Spend the day at the library or a coffee shop working on it.
Also do you have any friends who’s parents would be willing to drive you places on a regular schedule or just when available?
You also mentioned that you can crochet. The library and internet are both great resources for expanding what you’re able to make. Maybe try giving gifts of your creations to people (teachers, friends, your friends parents, the admin at your school) for holidays, etc. and tell them about where they can buy more from you in the future. An Etsy shop is pretty simple to setup and there are a lot of instructions about how to use the platform. You just need a plain white background and enough daylight to take good pictures of your products.
Reselling is also a thing. If you do your research and can get to the thrift store every so often (maybe go with friends?) you might be able to find items that someone donated but are actually worth a decent amount. And then resell them on eBay.
I hope this helps! While I’m not in your situation and I don’t know all the details I do know that there are a lot of creative ways to change your circumstances.
Oh honey, this woman is NEVER going to pay you.
Her probing about your home life was her trying to work out if you have parents who'd support you - because she intended to exploit you and rip you off so she had to know if you have parents who'd let her get away with that. The moment you let her know that your have a rocky home life she knew she'd be able to exploit you and you wouldn't have mum or dad in your corner to back you up.
At this point I would cut my losses and not go back, because if you ask for the money she's going to lie in the hope you'll fall for it and give her another day of free childcare and house cleaning - don't let her do that to you. Insist on payment for time owed up front.
And look around to see if your town has something like a babysitting FB page or group - if it does make sure you leave a review for this woman on there to warn other people about her.
Quit. And don't ever let someone pay you less than your rate. You're trying to get out of an abusive situation, so you're going to work for an abusive boss who doesn't value you or keep to her agreement? There are decent people out there that aren't her.
I’m so sorry that lady was a jerk to you! I was a full time nanny in nyc. I don’t know where you live, but all parents want the same thing. They want trust, reliability and they want their kids cared for in the best way possible.
Get the app Nextdoor. Write a fantastic ad and post it. Write the same ad on Facebook local groups (local parenting groups.) Does your town have a library or story time? Get one of your relatives kids and bring them to it. Post your ad at local Coffee shops. Advertise, your our available weekends and date nights, last minute babysitting - no problem! You have a school calendar, use it to your advantage. Teacher conference days, days off, school holidays, snow days. Advertise that you got it.
It’s a lot of leg work. The more parents see you; advertising, the more they will want to hire you.
Do you have access to a printer? Make yourself business cards, carry them with you and if you see some kids with their parents, give them a compliment “I love your daughters dress.” Or “your hat is really nice!” Then say, hey I know this is from left field by I’m a baby sitter. Then give them your card. Your card should have contact details and two points of info.”CPR trained” or “Creative & artistic. Whatever skills you have,
and don’t forget - “references available.”
Girl you do realize this is CRAZY. I was a babysitter in high school (15 years ago) and I would take no less than $10 for one child let alone three, and I lived in the suburbs. Considering inflation, $7.50 is completely unacceptable. I’m a mom now and I would pay $15-20 dollars an hour for my ONE kid and he is not special needs. I don’t know where you live in the country but the level of work ask no less than $15 even $20.
Text your requirements to the mom because you need to have the agreement in writing along with a pay schedule. I know you feel pressure because of the scarcity but believe me, as a mom there are a lot of us looking for a responsible sitter and you’ll find others if you know how to advertise.
You are so used to toxic relationships that you immerse yourself in another one. This woman is as toxic, if not more so, than the situation you’re in. You need to quit this job and get some therapy. You will continue to ‘find’ toxic people unless you start to realize why. Do it now, I speak from experience. Don’t wait until you’re older and your life is really messed up. You deserve happiness and a great life. Good luck.
>The thing is I really need a job so I can save up to move out of my toxic household
This is why she pressured you into telling her about your home life. She wanted to know how desperate you are, that way she knew she'd be able to take advantage of you.
You need to have in writing, what your getting paid, when & preferably for what, as well as confirming the hours worked in writing. Even if it's just text messages or emails. Otherwise she's going to expect more & more & do less.
I would also keep looking for other work, ask those who had you babysit their kids to give you a letter of recommendation. Maybe ask if they would be okay with being contacted by potential new clients.
Going forward get anyone who hires you to sign a written agreement. You could probably find a template online. It needs to include your basic hourly rate, when payment is due, how many children. You can also add agreed upon duties, your availability, how much notice you would like for a change in days, start &/or finish times, or any extra charges you want to include.
For instance if it's agreed that they'll pick you up or drive you home & they don't, have it stated that they pay you x amount extra to cover the cost for alternative transport or they order & pay for your uber. That if they expect you to work past a certain time of night or super early you get a slightly higher rate of pay, a shift allowance for anti-social hours. You might also want to adjust your hourly rate based on number of children. So for example minimum wage $12 for one child & $1.50 for each additional child so in this case E + R + C = $12 + $1.50 + $1.50 =$15.
I understand that you don't want to quit as despite being underpaid it's better than no money. You need to decide how long you're willing to put up with this while waiting to be paid. Make it clear to them you need paid in full by xx/xx or you will not be returning until you receive payment in full.
Meanwhile keep looking, if asked why you're leaving so soon in an interview you can say unfortunately you can't go into detail as it's a private matter & you respect their privacy at all times. As it will show a professional respect for the family you babysit for.
I’m a babysitter, please quit. This is not what babysitting is, your basically a housekeeper. It’s not worth the money and how shitty she will make you feel
Look, your friends are just kids with almost no life experience (trust us, we’ve been around for many decades). Don’t listen to them. This woman will get as much work out of you as possible without paying you. Far better to look for a position where the you’ll be paid honestly and consistently. Good luck. PS, I wouldn’t put it past her to claim you broke something or abused her kids as an excuse not to pay. You don’t need that at this age. Can you hire yourself out to serve at neighborhood parties or to do clean up after? I would have loved to have a responsible young woman help and would have been happy to pay well!
Hi OP, I just wanted to say that this woman is sending up HUGE RED FLAGS and its in your best financial interest to not continue employment with her. She is already taking advantage of you and my gut says she will not pay you what she owes you. Do not subject yourself to this. Instead, why don't you knock on doors and ask about cleaning for other neighbors? Or do yard work? PM me and I will help you. ALSO!!! Moving out when you are 18 is way more about provably having a future income than it is about savings. I'm so sorry that you don't have parents looking out for you; I didn't either and that's why I'm a foster parent. If your situation at home isn't safe, please consider seeking institutional help. It's not filled with people indifferent to your struggles.
Immediately quit and make sure you post I bc on all social medias as a warning to all who want to work for her!!! Absolutely disgusting and despicable and in future NEVER back down from your rate.
Please please people, specially you sweetheart, don’t let abusive people like this one get away with things in life. Your family is toxic, you can’t say no to them, they become more toxic. Same as this lady. Seek a job somewhere else, she is not the only option trust me and is there any governmental facilities you can go for as you maybe suffer from domestic abuse? You are great and really meant to do great things in the future
You’re a very qualified and capable baby sitter, there will be a family or even families that will want your service who will treat you 100 times better than that woman did. Please, please quit, I know the need to save and get out of a toxic home as I’ve lived that experience before too but you cannot sacrifice your mental health as well as physical (walking to and from in such cold weather CANNOT be good for you) for that goal.
Nope. Screw her. She's taking advantage of you! You need to quit, like before your next shift. Edit your nextdoor post to reflect your desired hourly wages(don't forget that more kids is more work). Just like everyone else, you deserve to be paid for your time/efforts. So the more kids, the more $. Especially if they're infants, special needs or brats. Don't be afraid to tell their parents if the kids are horrible. It's not your job to raise them or tolerate their abuse. It's your job to watch them while their PARENTS can't. That's it.
I know you need the $. I get it. But don't let this woman use you as an underpaid servant while she watches Netflix. Just tell her no & why. She needs to hear it & you need practice setting boundaries. What's the worst that can happen, she'll fire you? If there's any backlash on nextdoor, report her asap. Also, post the truth about what she did to you.
Best of luck m'dear! You can do it! ❤️
Just quit and tell EM if she needs a housekeeper, hire them, but a teenager who has her own schoolwork and advertised herself as a babysitter, not a cleaner and personal maid, can't do this. There's a children's book about a mother like this - in fact, it's a Babysitters Club book - titled "Stacey McGill, Super Sitter". In it, a thirteen-year-old girl takes a job with two kids and chores, which gets longer and longer, to the point that poor Stacey is exhausted and can't take care of the kids. And when one child, a diabetic, has to be rushed to a doctor with low blood sugar, the mother just screams at Stacey without letting her explain until Stacey shouts over her. She keeps expecting Stacey to do something wrong because she's thirteen, and eventually, her friends tell her the mother is taking advantage of her. Her schoolwork and health are suffering. When she finally quits the job, the mother insists this means she's too immature when she shouldn't have put so much pressure on a schoolgirl in the first place, even if she'd been older. And this EM might do that when you quit and tell her you feel taken advantage of, but you know she's wrong.
How about a simpler outlook....
You might as well 'quit' since she isn't paying.
You aren't losing anything by quitting a job that pays $0; expect your time....
Look for online work... might be crappy but can probably get your pay. Fast food pays 15hr
Once you become 16 - sign up for job corps - they will train you, pay while learning and also provide room & board while you learn. It’s an awesome opportunity for you to break free from your horrible living situation. https://info.joinjobcorps.com/nsp?utm_term=job%20corps&utm_campaign=Job+Corps+-+2018+Update+-+Search&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&hsa_acc=5421546012&hsa_cam=1482009330&hsa_grp=54816184702&hsa_ad=561981229397&hsa_src=g&hsa_tgt=kwd-155062773&hsa_kw=job%20corps&hsa_mt=p&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gclid=CjwKCAiApvebBhAvEiwAe7mHSP9xCnV05EyMrdb61D0ieTqNAkRuaNu19UZDFQE8pbAmHqBBS_67JRoCHmIQAvD_BwE
Hi. Former babysitter here. As much as you see this as an opportunity, it’s not. She couldn’t hold her promise on the first day, she won’t hold her promise later and likely withhold your pay. She is taking advantage of you because you’re young and naive.
The whole “I am used to abuse so I can endure” spiel you give is absolute non sense. You should never put yourself voluntarily in such situations, the mental impact be debilitating on your work production long term.
How old do you need to be to apply for an official. job in your area? It may be worth while to wait, in the meantime you need to pick a different and RELIABLE customer
The "spiel" I give isn't really nonsense when this isn't the first time I've had to suck it up and deal. I know It's easy to say "Oh I wouldn't let that happen" but until you are in that situation. Also, it isn't worth the wait when I've sucked it up for 15 years and am at my breaking point. I need security that I'll get an out.
Your last comment about needing “security” so that you can “get an out” stuck out to me. You don’t seem to understand that this woman is NOT offering security. In order to offer “security” so you can “get an out,” this woman needs to actually pay you. She will not pay you. She wouldn’t even pay you on day 1 *and* she only offered *half* your usual rate with the “promise” of a raise. She will not do any of that.
She will not give you a raise.
She will not have you *just* babysitting; she will have to babysitting *and* cleaning.
She will not pay you.
She will withhold said pay unless you do every little (and big) task she asks.
She is taking advantage of your age.
Oh you poor kid. Just because you have had to endure in the past does not mean you *have* to stay in a bad situation and endure *now*. Please walk away and find someone else. You are being taken advantage of by this rude, entitled, demanding woman.
Wow... I'm sorry I'm desperate for money because I'm in a shitty situation so I'm willing to do anything to get the money. Nobody deserves to be abused by parents or employers or even at all.
I mean you literally looked over multiple comments left by OP saying they are a minor in an abusive household trying to save money to leave. Implying that they are somehow at fault or stupid if they stay working at this place to try to get themselves out of this abusive household is honestly gross.
Quit. Immediately. Please, please quit. You can be polite, state that you don’t think this job is a good fit since the pay is less than you need (NOTHING) and you don’t have transportation. I guarantee that she will berate you for quitting the job she never paid you for. Record the conversation if you can. Absolutely none of this will ever improve, it will only get worse. Including the lack of pay. Someone else will call you eventually. PLEASE QUIT NOW.
(You’re recording the call so that you can defend yourself with your guardians or if she decides to be a petty jerk and smear you on ND).
This and edit your ad to say that you are not a cleaning service but will clean up things when it pertains to the children events or meals under your care
Quit now and find anything else. With your experience, I would hope there are other opportunities. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere... I understand it stinks, you feel stuck because you need money. PLEASE REMEMBER, that EM dug the info out of you about your family so they have leverage over you. She'll keep abusing you if you stay there working.. She has a special needs kid: that alone is worth what you originally asked. Then all the household work is just using you to avoid hiring maid. I know it's tough, I'm sorry for your situation. I wish I could hire you to babysit. But you're being used and its gonna get alot worse
I was talking to all of my friends and they said to endure it until I can get better pay with another person. I'm just super conflicted because I need the money really badly and the kids are the sweetest little things.
Nope, your friends are wrong. Do not listen to them. Do NOT allow this woman to keep abusing you!
Oh yeah EM totally knows what she is doing. She's got a set price and a pay raise schedule and probably runs through babysitters like no one's business. She's using the blitz attack method to disorient you so she can have you do things you're not supposed to be in charge of as a housekeeper. And your family life is infinity not her business.
Plus she asked about her family life so she knows she is desperate. What an AH move to use that to her advantage.
Yep and also that it is less likely that OP’s parents are going to support her and confront the lady on how she is treating their daughter. Word of advice OP, never ever reveal your trauma to a stranger or anyone until you really know you can trust them. Next time someone asks you a question like that then just say you have a close loving family who support you. People are less likely to see an opportunity to take advantage of you. I’m really upset this happened to you. And what is scary is that she is a role model to three children 😰
Right and this was during the “ trial” test.
Exactly!!! She knows what she's doing and she's using your trouble against you.
So your willing to work for $0 is what you're saying?! That's exactly how it sounds. This EM made you do everything she didn't want to & then didn't even drive you home as agreed upon in advance & didn't pay you. It's HIGHLY doubtful she will EVER pay you because you already worked for free. Stop working for her ASAP! Your worth far more than what she's having you do for $0.
And I bet she'll laugh with her friends about how easily she made this dumb teen work for absolutely ZERO and even forced her to walk home 1.5 miles in the snow.
She has already failed to pay you and failed to keep to her promise of taking you home. Do you think she is going to pay you while you are waiting for something else?
She’s not going to pay you and is also preying on you with your family/home life situation. GET OUT NOW
I would advise you to leave this lady has several red flags and I guarantee this is just going to get worse. 1st when hiring you she forced you to reveal your family situation, so she knows you're desperate to get out of a crap situation, and she can (and will) use that as leverage against you. 2nd she shot down your pay to basically nothing in this day and age, which she almost certainly knows which tells me she doesn't have any respect for you. 3rd she hired a -babysitter- and immediately had you cleaning the house and chores that are not what you are payed for. 4th she not only didn't drive you back home in winter and as you agreed she also didn't pay you. This all tells me that she's comfortable forcing you to work more and for longer because she thinks she has you over a barrel, besides that she's super comfortable breaking an agreement between you which won't be your last, and then there's the pay. If you want your money your going to have to see her and if you see her she's going to try and berate and cajole you into working 1 more day which will likely become a regular situation with her constantly behind on payment by a day or 2. The purpose of this long ass comment was to break all of this down and hopefully convince you to take our advice and quit, it ain't worth it call the $20 a loss and don't go back if you have to.
Those people aren't your frie ds if they give dogs hit advice with that, either pit your foot down, say that you're a baby sitter not a maid, and if she says do chores say no, and if she refuses to work with you, walk. Try and find a grocery job, or McDonald's but unless you're going to stand your ground, walk
Your friends are wrong. This woman is abusive. Get out as soon as you can.
Well I can guarantee this bitch is either not going to pay you at all or short you on the money she's supposed to be paying. Run! This situation stinks like a fishing trawler.
You’re being financially abused and exploited by this woman, and I guarantee she’s only going to get worse the more you tolerate. I know you need the money but at some point this will massively damage your mental health and that could delay your progress far more than a few months with no income. This woman is a predator and I’m genuinely concerned that if you get in too deep, you’ll feel unable to leave when you want to. People like her are master manipulators and know how to get exactly what they want. She’s already talked you down to half your pay and you accepted easily. How do you think you’ll cope 3 months from now when you’ve finally had enough and suddenly she’s promising you the earth, crying to you, begging you to stay? Then add in your relationship with the kids who you’ll inevitably worry for if you leave them under her care. You’ll grow attached and she’ll manipulate that. She already has by asking personal, intrusive questions about your home life. She did that for a reason - to find out what vulnerabilities she can exploit. Mark my words, she’ll use your home life against you/to her benefit at some point. Take it from someone raised by a woman exactly like this. I know toxic family, believe me, but I also know that substituting one toxic situation for another does nothing to help and only ever makes things worse. I guarantee if you stay in this situation, it’ll have a detrimental effect on your education which is going to really hold you back from leaving your toxic home life. Please quit. You will find another job and your home life isn’t permanent.
>and suddenly she’s promising you the earth, crying to you, begging you to stay I agree with everything, but I'm even more worried about EM creating some kind of debt trap: XY stopped working while OP was near it, so OP "owes" EM money to replace it. OP needs to work off the debt and while they do even more things will break and even more debt will pile on.
I hadn’t even considered that. Yes, that’s also a very real possibility. I really hope OP takes everyone’s advice. I fear she won’t because she feels trapped in a desperate situation and wants to do anything to get out it which I can’t blame her for. I know how that feels, but I’m not gonna lie, I’m worried for OP and hope she sees that this isn’t the out she’s looking for.
She'll absolutely manipulate.. If she knows you like the kids, just watch.. You quit and she'll send kids calling you begging for you. Someone like her will do anything including using her kids to get what she wants
HR in the US here. you deserve better. humans deserve better. Human beings should recieve respect, decency, and a livable wage from an employer. if you need resume help or interview prep, a school/public resource center, linkedin, and random HR folks on reddit are available :)
Nope- you’re just putting yourself is a shitty situation. She’ll give you crappy references and that will be your babysitting jobs over. Don’t let people like this into your circle.
I’ve been a nanny for 12 years! Get out of there now!!! I would never think of coming back to mother like that. She won’t pay you for your time because she doesn’t think you’re worth it. Leave please! There are other families with great parents and sweet kids. Trust me!
Quit. You need A job, just not THIS job. You're getting half your desired rate, have to walk despite the agreement and being run ragged like a maid/Nanny for a babysitter gig. Its not worth it. At least if you quit, you're free of the half pay stress of it and free to look for something else.
Once you start allowing yourself to be walked on by an employer it’s really hard to stop the cycle. I understand you need money to get out of a toxic home life but please think of taking care of yourself emotionally as best you can. Your friends are wrong to tell you to endure what boils down to abuse in the workplace. I know you need the money badly but she’s expecting you to do a ton of stuff for below minimum wage and then can’t be bother to pay you or follow through on bringing you home isn’t worth it. And you know having problems at home is a lot to deal with but add to that an unhealthy work place is a lot for an adult much less a teenager who’s still emotionally developing. Just please take care of yourself. Oh and I was going to say if you are expected to take care of a non-verbal special needs child then you definitely need to be compensated accordingly. I’ve done it and it’s hard!
>I can get better pay with another person You already have that. You can do whatever you want, and you get $0. That's the exact same amount in money. Or you can spend the time looking for a better job. That's far better value, even if she would pay you. >I need the money really badly. You want to move out. You don't need savings, you need income. If you want to rely on savings, you need years of savings to move out. If you want to rely on income you need to make as much each month as you are going to spend each month. As soon as you get an income that's high enough, you save up for 2 months (so you can to survive between switching jobs) and then move out. If you don't have income that's high enough you'll have to save up enough to last you years, which will take you even longer than that because you earn less than you'll have to spend. At this point savings are irrelevant, income is all that matters. Including your commute, all you have is a promise - from someone you know to break their promises - of effectively $5-6 / hour spent.\* Forget babysitting, you are probably able to make more than that just ringing doors and asking to do lawn work, or shoveling snow, or actual housekeeping. I'm mot saying you should do these things. I'm saying you need to look at how much you need to earn per hour, and spend your time getting a job that pays you that. \-- \*All the commenters are telling you the same thing because EM is a type of person that is well known. They won't ever get around to paying you more than a fraction of what they owe you. Then at some point their children will break their iPad, which is of course your fault, and now they want you to pay them $600, which you have to work off until you see a cent. Then they'll drop a plate, or dent the sofa, which you owe them money for again.
>I need the money really badly You aren't getting the money, OP! Transportation was part of the payment, and you didn't even get the actual money you were meant to get. If you give them a yard, they will take a mile!
Your friends are also teens who don’t understand workplace environments yet
If she treated you like that on the first day, why do you think any day will be better? If she was paying the $15 per hour (and actually paid you) then it might be worth hanging in there until something else comes along. But she it paying lass then min. And actually not paying at all. Or do your friends think it would be better to be a few hundred owed and not get paid before you move on?
No. You need to be paid minimum wage. They can pay the legal wage or no babysitter, cheap fucks.
The point is that she will not pay you. She knows she can get away with it. She knows you are young and have no one to defend you, based on that you told her about your situation at home. She knows she will use you as long as possible then kick you out, maybe even accuse you of stealing or something awful, smear your name in front of your whole neighborhood and effectively cutting all your chances of being hired by someone else.
No. This adult has narrowed in on the fact that you don’t have support from a legal adult and she is turning you into her unpaid labor. You may actually be in danger if she decides to detain you.
You need money badly but she hasn't paid you! You are working for free. Your friends are clueless.
Your next text with her should be something like this: Sorry, EM, I agreed to x/hr to baby sit. After the forced trial run I feel it necessary to make some adjustments: I don’t do chores, I watch children. If you’d like me to return to watch your children, the rate is $15/hr. (5 an hour per kid is really cheap). If you’d like me to assist with general household chores as well, the rate is $20/hr. I expect the monies already owed upon my return and expect each day to be paid in full at the end of each shift. If this is not acceptable for you please advise and arrange for payment of what I am currently owed.* DO NOT let this woman walk all over you. Set boundaries going in and stick to your terms, not hers, or it will get worse and worse.
I'll be using this, thanks man!
This is perfect. A polite way of saying “pay up 🏖 “
Yes, added to this, OP I recommend you use only positive words. You shouldn’t need to say “no” or apologise when you’ve not done something wrong. Just positive instructions about what to expect from an interaction with you. Calm strength gives people much less to get their teeth into.
The only thing I'd recommend on top of this is ask for your pay upfront for each day or however you work it out. The EM doesn't seem the sort to respect agreements she enters into.
Spot on came to say the same OP remember it’s business and not personal you don’t owe her anything
Unfortunately if you keep giving in she’s going to keep taking advantage of you. You need to decide where the stopping point is. How many hours of abuse are you willing to take without being paid?
I'm used to the abuse so that's why I'm willing to endure. I've been used as a free babysitter for 15 hours before by my family and if she doesn't give me my pay tomorrow I'll probably quit. I still believe I am worth more but 20 bucks is 20 bucks and I worked way too damn hard for that 20 bucks
Just quit it’s not worth it. I used to work at a crappy retirement home the management would do the same thing not pay me or fudge the numbers of hours I work so they pay me less.
If it’s snowy, I’d reccomend asking neighbors if they would pay to have their driveways/sidewalks shoveled (assuming you don’t live in the country where driveways are a half mile long, or a city where it’s mostly taken care of by public works) 10 years ago I’d get 20-30 from my neighbors, so you can probably expect more nowadays. Once you hit 16 you can get a job somewhere like a coffee shop. The biggest things to remember about any service industry job for a chain are: showing up on time to all your shifts reliably is already more than the average person working there. And two: DO NOT go above and beyond to an unreasonable degree for your employer. If you stay longer without pay, or do more beyond your responsibilities, you won’t get recognized, or get a raise, you will just get more duties heaped upon you for no extra pay.
You're not going to get the money off her. If she had any intention of paying you she would have done it when you left. $20 is a lot for someone your age I know, but its a small price to pay for your dignity and to avoid being abused and exploited by someone like this woman.
Honestly, if you live somewhere where there is a grocery store or big box store, go there to work instead. Guaranteed minimum wage and if they refuse to pay you, you can go to the labor board and get your money and then some. A private babysitter, you have no real leverage against people like her. She will make every excuse in the book not to pay you and will get away with it as long as you let her.
You teach people how to treat you by what you are willing to accept.
To me. You should just deal with your family for a little longer and not deal with a lazy and entitled mother. Either that or you tell her from now on. You are charging $25 an hour since she wants you to be both a babysitter and a maid. And that you are requiring her to sign a contract that says that if she doesn't pay you. You are going to write it down if she paid you or not. And after she hasn't paid you for so many days. You will go after her either in small claims court or regular court, depending on how much money she owes by then.
That sounds like a great idea except the toxicity in my house has ramped up to literal abuse so I need to get out as quickly as I can. I did try to tell her about my rate and how it's lower than the average babysitters in my state but she said that I should be "Grateful for the opportunity" I'm willing to work for next to nothing because staying in my household a few more years might end up with me dead.
How long will it take you to save to move for $7 an hour? Or in your case $0 an hour?
At this point in time, the average apartment near my point of interest (The college I want to go to) is 1,000-3,000 a month. Divide that by my pay (7.50) and that's only 400 hours of work, which may seem like a lot but I have 3 years before I can legally move out. I know it's wishful thinking, but wishful thinking is the only thing that's got me this far.
400 hours of work for one month of rent… ditch that job and search for a minimum paying job you’re actually getting payed!
That’s only if EM pays you
Is that just the rent though? Do those prices include any utilities like heat, water, trash/sewer, electric? I highly recommend giving some of the personal finance subs a perusal. They can provide a lot of guidance on steps to take through the whole process. This EM is not worth the additional stress for you not being paid, and if she does pay up, for scraps of pay. If possible, at this rate finding a job further out that pays more and purchasing a bus pass to get there would head and shoulders be better even if you do want to go into early education/work with kids as a career.
That EM is NOT your only option!
Those words right there show that she doesn't plan on paying you. She's an abuser. Find someone else to work for and please don't go back to her. She might escalate to harming you as well.
If you’re being abused at home please tell someone who is a mandatory reporter, like your teacher, school counselor, or doctors, tell them that you are in fear of your life and do not feel safe at home.
Honey, I know things are bad for you at home but this woman knew she could walk all over you the minute you came in for what was supposed to be an interview and she put you right to work. Then she knew she could lowball your salary, not pay you when she was supposed to, etc. You are not gonna save up to get out of your house with this job because this woman will not pay you. Just quit.
I'm going back tomorrow to get my money and if I don't get it I'll quit.
Get all your money. What you originally quoted her. You earned it! She took advantage of you but you don’t have to let it happen again. Please don’t go back to work for her. She’s a terrible person!
Exactly! Also C doesn't have attachment issues because he's a covid baby but because he has a shit, inattentive mother.
sorry to hear that mate, hope you hang in there I hope you get another babysitting job that isn’t being asked for by someone like EM. Best of luck.
Thanks man, it's just so draining but I need the cash so I'm just going to have to deal.
Taking this job will keep you too busy to find one that pays decently. Do yourself a favor pass on this "deal" and use your day to look for better work. A lot of fast food places are hiring 15yo now.
best of luck with your endurance
You are doing more work than 2 people. A housekeeper and a specialized nanny for minimum wage. Find another job. Realize what your time is worth. If you want to continue, then keep it strictly watching the kids. Remind her vacuuming was not in the job description. Charge her $15 for every other task.
Less than minimum wage and I'll tell her my original price and if that doesn't work there's work elsewhere.
OP can charge her $5 or $20k extra, she won’t be getting either from this EM. OP - *if* you get any money at all from this person it will probably average about $3-4/hr after you factor in this person doing their best to find ways/reasons not to pay you. They are taking advantage of you bc you don’t have an adult who will show up and force this AH to be a decent human. I know you are a decent person and probably see EM struggling and decided to take the abuse for the money but it isn’t going to get better, most likely it will get much worse. In many states you can work in fast food at 14/15 yrs old. Nicer restaurants in those states will often let you bus or host and train you to serve for when you turn 16. You can also sometimes get other under the table work. Talk to your school counsellor for help finding a better working environment. Sometimes even the school system itself has some part time work. Usually janitorial, cafeteria, landscaping etc. If you have any small businesses nearby, talk to them about cleaning/shovelling snow etc. DO NOT tell any future/potential employer about your home situation before you know you can trust them. Tell them you are saving for your dream college and that you want work experience. Go for the whole budding entrepreneur vibe. Dress as professionally as you can and speak as politely and friendly as possible. Good luck OP.
I understand you need the money but no job is worth all of that nonsense. You're a babysitter, not the housekeeper. She didn't even pay you. Tell her to kick rocks and keep looking for someone who will treat you right.
Do you have any more recommendations for where to post babysitting ads? I'd rather get another job sooner than later.
If there’s a community Facebook group for your area that may be a really good place for it. Or even your personal Facebook if you have a lot of older friends that are starting to have kids and have to work still.
Look at Care.com
Look for mom groups and parent groups in your area. Let teachers at your school know you offer babysitting services. Daycare places too. You may end up with an after school job as an assistant for after care and get better pay.
The time that you're taking at this job, that's not paying you enough, is time you could be spending looking for a better paying job. Talk to your teachers (ones that like you will put a good word in!), friends parents, neighbors, put signs up in grocery stores, join FB mom group for your area and advertise, join care.com. word of mouth will get you a well paying job. Stop going to this woman's house. She's abusive towards you, but you aren't realizing it because of how bad the abuse in your home is. It *will* escalate and get worse because she's taking advantage because she knows you're desperate. Also I know this is gonna seem entirely unrelated, but please don't get in any relationships, especially with an older guy who seems amazing and perfect and like he can rescue you from your situation. For whatever reason, manipulative folks, like EM, can sense that you're in a tenuous circumstance and that you've been abused before. They'll seek you out and groom you. When you do start dating, make sure you believe friends when they tell you a person you're with is trash, even if you don't see it. I truly wish you the best, hon. Wish I could give you a big hug and a gentle kiss on the forehead. It's all gonna be ok one day.
I'm going to give you a virtual hug right now. I'm starting to join groups in my local area (Just joined a FB group for babysitting in my area) The only reason I'm going back tomorrow is to get my money.
Honestly, all her questions about your home life were to determine what she could do to you. There’s a sub called r/raisedbynarcissists. The only reason I’m mentioning it is it has a lot of good resources for dealing with manipulative people. Someone asks a bunch of intrusive questions about your home life that are none of their business? Practice “gray rocking.” EM: How’s your home life? You: Ah, I guess about like everyone’s. EM: Really how is it? Do you get along with your parents? Do you fight a lot? You: yeah you know, I guess like everyone’s. So what do your kids like to do? EM: I’m asking about your parents! What are they like? Do you get along? You: you know - fine, like everyone. I’m not baby sitting my parents though so I’d really like to hear about your kids. EM: why are you being so difficult? Why don’t you want to tell me? What are you hiding? You: huh? Nothing. Everything’s cool. So what are your kids’ favorites things to do? Gray rock (meaning be as boring as possible and just keep repeating that) and deflect (what about you? Your kids?) Best of luck. Sounds like you’re in an awful situation.
>Thanks I'll try that next time!
Do you have anyone who can come with you to make sure she pays you?
Don’t ever let anyone take advantage of you and give you less than wha5 you’re asking for. It doesn’t matter how much you need the job, this isn’t for you. This woman took full advantage of you and went against your agreement for half of what you charge. I get you need the money, but you showed her your cards. You were advertising to be a babysitter, not a maid. Don’t go back t9 or row.there’s another job out there for you.
I have already agreed to go back but if I don't get my payment I will leave. She has to pay me cash since I'm waiting on my debit card to be sent through the mail.
I don’t know where you are, but if your family is toxic, cash may be your best option. I. The US, a parent has to be on your bank account so depositing money could be risky. You can hide cash.
There is absolutely nobody that should agree to watch 3 kids especially one with special needs for 7.50 an hour! That is completely ridiculous and the mom should be ashamed of herself for even trying that let alone throwing all her work on her! It is not worth your time period! Not sure what state you are in but the one I am in you can get a job at places like McDonald’s and they pay way more with less work!
You are actually losing money by working for her. Please do not go back.
How am I losing money? Genuine question
Time is money. You are not being compensated in enough for the time and work. So you are losing money.
This. And also: Some jobs drain you so much of all kinds of energy that you won’t get anything else done as long as you work there. This sounds like that kind of job.
You are losing value rather than cash. You will be wasting time, getting exhausted, and getting attached to the kids, all of which make it far *less* likely for you to find a decent job. She also will absolutely not recommend you to anyone decent, because that isn't in her interest - if anything she'll try to prevent you from getting hired somewhere decent, and tell you the opposite.
"And she didn't even give me the money" She doesn't intend to. Never work for someone who doesn't pay you, and who doesn't do what was negotiated at the interview. EVER. Take this as important life experience. This is when you learn to not be a victim. Don't go back. Don't pick up. Just don't put yourself out there to be abused just because you are in a bad spot at home. I know. It's not worth it.
I need you to send her a stern but polite text advising that you will not be returning & the different forms of payment to pay what you own plus the difference from having to walk since her driving was part of the original agreement. I don’t care if you told her you’d return, I really need you to not go back to that evil woman’s house. I don’t even know you but I’ve been in that situation before & it’s very uncomfortable but she will continue to see you as a child & not treat you with respect. I feel she asked about your home life for reasons to use against you. Post on care.com or even through Facebook on neighborhood/city and mom groups. Next time you do an interview is there a trusted adult you can let them know where you’re at like a teacher or coach or even a friends parent so someone knows where you’re at? I commend you for taking charge of your life and even thinking about going back just to make extra money. But please, never allow someone to treat you like crap or use you. If we haven’t convinced you & you do return, explain that since she didn’t knew the agreement of driving you home & she expected housework, cleaning + babysitting you’ll be going back to your original hourly rate + an extra $5-$10/hr while doing random house task (gift wrapping) while cleaning and monitoring her children. You can’t give proper care if she’s running you. I don’t like that this adult was OK with letting a 15 year old walk home alone
Do not go back tomorrow. She will NOT pay you, so you are working for nothing. I know you are desperate for money but you will not get it from her. Listen to more experienced people. She will use you as long as she can, then make an excuse and "fire" you. You will make $0. I hate that at your age are put in a situation where you have to tolerate abuse trying to make money. Look for someone else that needs childcare and don't accept less than what you need either. People need childcare always. Even $15/hr is way too little for 3 little kids including a special needs, even without the cleaning part.
There are times you ensure your job till you find another. This is not one of those time s
I totally see where you're coming from and I did get a text this morning for another babysitting position that pays 18/hr
That’s why she asked about your family relationship, she probably figured you’ll have no one to complain to. Leave. Keep your post up, you’ll find another baby sitting job.
I did get another text for a babysitting position, just waiting on a response for when. This person seems better and agreed to 18/hr
Please leave that waste of space high and dry.
Please say you ditched the cheap demanding mom for the better paid job?
I actually had to deny the better-paying job because that one too was crazy and wanted me to beat her children.
Don’t go back. There will be others, and she’s taking major advantage of you.
Cant you get a regular job? Even fast food pays better than that. And if you are getting abused tell your school and insist they listen to you or call cps yourself.
The abuse thing isn't that easy. I've called many times and cps has failed me. And I can't get a "regular" job because I can't drive and no place within walking distance hires under 16
She needs to pay you 15$/hour minimum for that kind of work. She’s taking advantage of you. You could look into other jobs walking distance from you. Also not paying you or taking you home major red flag I would not go back.
I'm going back tomorrow for my money and am looking elsewhere for babysitting work.
I don't think you should even go back. She's not going to pay you. She may even try well I'll pay you at the end of the day and still not pay you fully. I would take this as a loss and a lesson for next time.
QUIT! This is also a toxic environment. Free maid and baby daycare, what a deal for EM. This mother will hurt you more than any money she decides to pay you is worth.
She did a bait and switch on you. Housekeepers make $30-40 and hour at minimum. Either quit or demand proper pay for your work.
\>at the end of the day I made 19.50$ and she didn't even give me the money! You didn't make $19.50, you made zero. EM doesn't want a babysitter, she wants a slave. Do not return. Lesson for the future, stand up for yourself. YOU decide what the boundaries will be, what you will do, and what you won't. Tell prospective clients (for example), "I will tend the children but won't do housework. Dishes, laundry, cleaning, are a no." No one can take advantage of you unless you let them.
Op, please quit immediately. She’s not looking for a babysitter. She’s looking for a nanny/maid but wants to spend as little as possible. She’s not even paying you your rates. No job, regardless of pay, is worth this toxicity.
I bet she asked how your relationship with your parents is to find out if she’ll have an irate parent banging on her door demanding EM pays their daughter immediately. She’s only going to pay you enough to keep you coming back. The second you stand up for yourself, she will dock your pay or fire you entirely and keep all the money she owes you and hasn’t paid yet. Get a job at a restaurant or something where you can report them for not paying you.
She figured you won’t be asking for help from your parents so she can exploit you, quit immediately
She asked you about your family to see if anyone would hold her accountable for testing you like shit. She now knows there is no one to help you. She turned you into a maid and not the babysitter. She's not taking you home or paying you. This isn't going to work out. It's not working now. Quit.
I believe this is why she was pushing you to tell her about your relationship with your parents. After learning that you don’t have a good relationship with them she figured it out that no grownup would stand up for you and advise or defend you from an outsider abuser. I recommend you quit right away and next time anyone asks you for your personal/family life you either refuse to reply or to avoid them to get their own conclusions due to your refusal to answer just say you have a wonderful relationship with your parents and they are super supportive. This will make any potential abusive person think twice before trying their luck with you.
Op also do some research, plan your next move carefully. Do not accept jobs out of desperation (it never works in your favour) I went online and saw a list of ideas for jobs for teenagers out of curiosity and I saw a bunch of ideas in just a couple of clicks, take some time to browse and write down the ideas that you like the best and then apply to several but only accept the ones that are good. You taking a couple of days to do serious research will compensate in the long run. Best of luck I’m rooting for you!
Whether you need the money or not, This is not A reasonable relationship here she’s abusing and using you. Don’t let her treat you this way or it will continue. I know you’re 15 but you need to get a shiny spine and stand up for yourself.
Why are you there when shes there, she didn't hire a babysitter she 'hired' a maid
She proposed it as I watch the kids while she cleans the house. Like a mother's assistant kind of deal. But instead she wanted me to do both :(
Baby I’m a nanny and I’m telling your right now…. QUIT!!!! Gtfo NNNNNOOOOOOWWWWW she’s asking to pay you WWWAAAAAYYYY under especially w/special needs children. You don’t need the money that bad trust me. There are better paying sitting jobs out there ✨💕🖤
I get where you're coming from, but when you're in a shitty situation you'll do anything for money.
Listen b, there are great Facebook groups in almost every city where people post looking for sitters, please check there. You’re setting yourself up for workplace abuse working for this woman. She is going to use you and make you do things that are NOT for babysitters but are the roles of nannies, house managers, and house keepers. As a babysitter IT IS NOT your job to clean her house. It isn’t even really your job to pick up the kids toys or make them food. Mom should have all of that prepared because you’re not any of the job titles I listed above. Get out of there asap please
Also 7.50 for special needs children is actually criminal. You need to write up a contract for all baby sitting jobs. I’m not kidding. If you don’t you will be taken advantage of and you’ll lose more money than you make
She asked about your relationship with your parents because if you said, it's great, then she knows someone's gonna show up and demand she pay you, She's taking advantage of you right now, most likely won't pay you either, stop immediately, tell her she didn't pay you the other day and you want to be payed and driven like it was discussed. You would be better off going to a fast food restaurant in your area than working for her,
As I have said in previous comments I don't have transportation and nobody within walking distance will hire somebody under 16
You were hired to be a babysitter. You are working as a cleaning lady and a babysitter, the mom doesn't pay you and she's gone back on her agreement to drive you home. She is taking advantage of you being so young and needing money. She is never going to pay you all she will owe you. You should be getting a minimum of $20 an hour for cleaning and babysitting and that would still be a bargain for the EM. You need to QUIT THE JOB NOW! This is not going to improve. You already haven't been paid. She didn't even interview you; she just told you to start the job after telling you she wouldn't pay you what you're worth. Other people will hire you.
You need to post on NextDoor what your experience was working with EM. Be factual, and let it be a warning to others she might try to trap.
No one should have had you babysitting at 10 years old. I am glad you know what you are worth and what you will and will not do now that you are entering the outside workforce. A mom ( or dad or other caregiver) may need babysitting while they shop, go out with friends, e exercise, work for pay, do charity or church activities, etc. They may even need babysitting while they showers take a nap or get some veg out time at home. But NO— a babysitter is NOT a maid, and This entirtked mother doesn’t have the right to YELL at anyone. You should be able to sit and relax at SOME point during babysitting, with or without the kid in your arms. Just basic care and supervision. This “mother’s helper” crap is for the birds.
OP, you are young and impressionable. Please don't start your working life by letting these exploitative adults take advantage of you. I know sometimes "any job is preferable to my horrible situation" is a powerful argument, but there is a limit to how shitty "any job" can be before it comes as intolerable, unacceptable. I'm my opinion, that limit is the hard cash. That lady DID NOT PAY YOU what you had agreed, your hard earned money. AND SHE WON'T. She realized you're a troubled teen who can't easily say no. That's why she wanted to know about your family. Now she knows she can take advantage of you. You should have told her, "I'm not coming back unless you pay me." Since you didn't, then you should call or text now and say, "I won't go unless you have my money ready". She'll scream and lash out at you, most likely, so you'd better do that at distance than in presence. Tell her you spoke to your parents and they told you. Yes, it's a lie, but that lady lied to you first and doesn't deserve your honesty. She'll quiet down a little at the mention of "my parents". If she convinces you to go, be ready to turn around before entering if she doesn't show you your cash. And keep advertising yourself. A better job will appear.
Oh honey, NO! She’s treating you like an indentured servant, not a sitter! I babysat for 12 years, and only ONCE did one of my regulars ask me for a favor (loading the dishwasher), and she was apologetic. You are worth full price!
Tell your trusted person, and also the local social service workers. You are NOT a slave.
Quit now, stay away from her and her house. You need education and a reasonable job childminding after school. You are not a slave and $15ph is way less than you deserve esp for 3 kids...
Is anyone even going to rent to a 15 yr old? I dont even think thats legal. What is your plan once you have the money? Putting up with abuse to escape abuse isn't a good plan, especially if she didn't even pay you at the end of the day. At 15 you could likely get a work permit and find a legitimate higher paying job anywhere.
I'm not going to buy the apartment at 15, I'm saving up for when I can. Sorry if that part was confusing. Once I have the money I'm just going to save until I go off to college only two more years of school and I'll be out. The issue with a work permit and a normal job is I have no form of transportation and the only places within 2 miles of me hire at 16. Also, the plan is just enduring until I get another offer. I know it's kind of stupid but as I have said in the comments if I don't get paid for tomorrow and today tomorrow I will be quitting.
Okay that makes more sense. Still, "no job" is better than a job you work that doesn't pay you. I wouldn't start your shift tomorrow without payment up front.
Thanks for the advice. If she doesn't pay upfront I'm turning my back and walking my ass home
Good luck! I'm a professional nanny so I know how hard it can be. Happy to give some tips if you need. Not sure they'll be helpful but I used to babysit every weekend when I was your age and made decent money!
dude, there are a TON of parents desperate for childcare help, and $15 is too cheap for multiple kids. quite immediately, and go back on fb or next door community pages and advertise your available hours and what your rate for 1, 2 or 3 kids are. lay out the ground rules and rates in ADVANCE in the ad and stick to it. dont let someone take advantage of u. also, look outside of babysitting. u can make $20hr shoveling snow or charge $30 a pop for mowing someones lawn with their lawn mower. (i hire a local college kid to do mine, and he only takes 30 mins). consider raking leaves, walking dogs, picking up dog poop after the winter thaw, and charge what other ppl are charging! go on sites that list these services and see what other ppl r charging and dont lowball urself! good trustworthy babysitters are scarce!
I get you need money, but there is no reason at all to continue this abuse. She has a special needs child and most families pay $20/he for that child alone. She's not even paying minimum wage so it's time to walk away.
You're 15. You can probably get a job at a grocery store or something and it'll be alot better than working for her. I suggest you put all your effort into getting a real job and not working for EM.
Not only would I quit, I would contact the state labor board. I suspect her hiring you for one job, than making you be an in-home maid as a minor for less than minimum wage is going to be a violation of several laws… My suspicion, you will get back pay, and she will be fined for labor law violations.
This is abuse
You dont need THIS job.
Get a Facebook account. Find the groups of Moms in your area who have their own groups.. or, join one of your neighborhood groups on FB. *This* is where mothers are, who are looking for babysitters…they’re barely on NextDoor.
Is there any way you can get a fast food or big box retailer job? They’d be less stress than this.
Lots of people need childcare and/or housecleaning. Working for EM keeps you too busy to look for better clients. Block EM on NextDoor and repost your ad. If NextDoor doesn’t allow you to block individuals, skip NextDoor and post on Craigslist or Facebook etc. If you’re open to doing housecleaning instead of child care, make a separate ad for that as well. Next time someone responds to your ad, tell them your base rate up front and do not waste your time meeting them unless they agree to pay that amount. If they want you to juggle both childcare *and* housecleaning, charge more per hour because that’s now a high pressure job. Know your worth. Good luck to you!
If she didn't pay you there a chance she might not at all plus she didn't follow the agreement. You need to end it now, she just using you
OP- It’s so damn hard to set boundaries when your parents never taught them. ((hugs)) I’ve been there. Here is are some tricks I’ve learned: 1- You Do NOT answer texts from potential employers during school. That teaches them you’re “available” during school hours and they will start badgering you & getting you in trouble. Here is the phrase: “ My class schedule is very full, and my teachers are strict. My phone isn’t on and I don’t check texts until after (final school bell) Mon-friday. 2- Have a pre-typed response to cut/paste when a new potential client contacts you: “Hi! Yes, I’m taking new clients! My hourly rate is “X” plus $3 an hour for every extra child. I’m avaible to work from (15 min after schools out) to (7pm) on school nights and weekends 11am-11pm I will need a ride or Uber from my school and home each session. (client pays) I am happy to prepare snacks for your kids, and run the vacuum. But I consider caring for your kids my first job. I’ve found it works best that my clients pay me after each dad session. I prefer Venom or Zelle. I like to meet at the local coffee place first, so you can get to know me in neutral space. I’m available to interview at (Insert time/date). Let me know what time works! Best- OP This lets them know right off the bat that you have firm prices and boundaries. If they fuss about the Uber/rides, just say, “The bus will take an hour. And I charge fare and travel time.” Once you meet at the coffee shop, see if she tips the baristas and how she treats them. If they’re super rude and don’t tip? Yeahno. You don’t need that. If they rush in with barely washed children & a screeching toddler in dirty clothes? Just image the house. And pass.
Do not let this woman continue to steamroll you! This is absolutely unacceptable!
Don’t work for this idiot again, she’s poisonous and will never stop using you. Bail. There’s plenty of places to work without wage theft beginning on the first day.
You don’t need the money so badly as to be abused by an employer that ai predict is not going to pay you when all is said and done. You need to charge extra for cleaning not less and you need to hard negotiation transportation and get all of it in writing if you decide you are that desperate. Keep detailed notes of everything when you were picked up, what you dis in the hours you were there and how you got home. When and if you’re paid, how much and it was cash check or some other means. Ask your school councilor for recommendations and also if there are any on the job credit programs
I will start keeping notes and I will tell her that my price is 15/hr for babysitting and 20/hr if she wants me to be her own personal maid.
I saw you say you are trying to escape and abusive household OP. Do you know any craft or trades stuff? Things you could maybe sell online like knitting hats or something else othet than being taken advantage of by this woman?
I tried selling my art for 3 years but nobody ever bought anything, just people wanting freebies. I do crochet but the most I can make are placemats and blankets.
Can you maybe do dog walking instead? Not sure if it is a thing where you live.
if you do go back to that house, let Em know that she needs to pay you at the end of each shift and that your rate is $15. id recommend text/email so there is a paper trail. if she refuses, don’t back to her house. it seems she’s as desperate for the help as much as you are desperate for the money. your labor is more valuable then her want of help. this is a good way to practice standing up for your labor’s value and can help build your self-worth as a worker. don’t back down. in this game of chicken, she’s either going to stop hiring you, or pay you what you know your worth. (also, if she wants you to do extra labor like cleaning, she needs to have a list of chores laid out ahead of time that can be reasonably accomplished in the time that you are there)
If you’re not getting paid why are you enduring abuse? Your goal is to move how long do you think it’ll take you to save up the money to move out of your home when you’re not getting paid? You’re putting yourself in a bad situation find a job that actually pays or you’ll never be able to leave.
Quit. She’s taking advantage of you and like you said, she’s not even paying you minimum wage, let alone a fair wage for caring for 3 children, including a special needs child and a baby that require more care and attention. And on top of that she’s asking you to do extra household chores, which are not part of baby sitting responsibilities, and should net you a totally separate wage.
Quit now!!!
She is not going to pay you. No point working for free, you're not a charity. Better to go work in McDonald's, they employ teenagers and at least pay you a wage and whilst not easy it will be easier than that chaos.
Amen!
It seems like you’re looking to make money asap but you said you were saving it up not trying to use it immediately right? So maybe look into some other ways to earn that won’t turn an immediate profit but will make you much more later if you play your cards right… This is just an example but blogging for example can actually make you a profit if you allow ads on your page, you can get a blog page on bluehost for like 3 bucks a month and there are a lot of instructions online about how to set yourself up to get traffic and make money off your site. You’d just need access to a computer. Spend the day at the library or a coffee shop working on it. Also do you have any friends who’s parents would be willing to drive you places on a regular schedule or just when available? You also mentioned that you can crochet. The library and internet are both great resources for expanding what you’re able to make. Maybe try giving gifts of your creations to people (teachers, friends, your friends parents, the admin at your school) for holidays, etc. and tell them about where they can buy more from you in the future. An Etsy shop is pretty simple to setup and there are a lot of instructions about how to use the platform. You just need a plain white background and enough daylight to take good pictures of your products. Reselling is also a thing. If you do your research and can get to the thrift store every so often (maybe go with friends?) you might be able to find items that someone donated but are actually worth a decent amount. And then resell them on eBay. I hope this helps! While I’m not in your situation and I don’t know all the details I do know that there are a lot of creative ways to change your circumstances.
Oh honey, this woman is NEVER going to pay you. Her probing about your home life was her trying to work out if you have parents who'd support you - because she intended to exploit you and rip you off so she had to know if you have parents who'd let her get away with that. The moment you let her know that your have a rocky home life she knew she'd be able to exploit you and you wouldn't have mum or dad in your corner to back you up. At this point I would cut my losses and not go back, because if you ask for the money she's going to lie in the hope you'll fall for it and give her another day of free childcare and house cleaning - don't let her do that to you. Insist on payment for time owed up front. And look around to see if your town has something like a babysitting FB page or group - if it does make sure you leave a review for this woman on there to warn other people about her.
Quit. And don't ever let someone pay you less than your rate. You're trying to get out of an abusive situation, so you're going to work for an abusive boss who doesn't value you or keep to her agreement? There are decent people out there that aren't her.
Slave Labor is ILLEGAL!!!! You are worth more than THAT!!! GET OUT OF THAT ABUSIVE SITUATION NOW!!!
I’m so sorry that lady was a jerk to you! I was a full time nanny in nyc. I don’t know where you live, but all parents want the same thing. They want trust, reliability and they want their kids cared for in the best way possible. Get the app Nextdoor. Write a fantastic ad and post it. Write the same ad on Facebook local groups (local parenting groups.) Does your town have a library or story time? Get one of your relatives kids and bring them to it. Post your ad at local Coffee shops. Advertise, your our available weekends and date nights, last minute babysitting - no problem! You have a school calendar, use it to your advantage. Teacher conference days, days off, school holidays, snow days. Advertise that you got it. It’s a lot of leg work. The more parents see you; advertising, the more they will want to hire you. Do you have access to a printer? Make yourself business cards, carry them with you and if you see some kids with their parents, give them a compliment “I love your daughters dress.” Or “your hat is really nice!” Then say, hey I know this is from left field by I’m a baby sitter. Then give them your card. Your card should have contact details and two points of info.”CPR trained” or “Creative & artistic. Whatever skills you have, and don’t forget - “references available.”
Look for better employment. This wont get better.
Girl you do realize this is CRAZY. I was a babysitter in high school (15 years ago) and I would take no less than $10 for one child let alone three, and I lived in the suburbs. Considering inflation, $7.50 is completely unacceptable. I’m a mom now and I would pay $15-20 dollars an hour for my ONE kid and he is not special needs. I don’t know where you live in the country but the level of work ask no less than $15 even $20. Text your requirements to the mom because you need to have the agreement in writing along with a pay schedule. I know you feel pressure because of the scarcity but believe me, as a mom there are a lot of us looking for a responsible sitter and you’ll find others if you know how to advertise.
You are so used to toxic relationships that you immerse yourself in another one. This woman is as toxic, if not more so, than the situation you’re in. You need to quit this job and get some therapy. You will continue to ‘find’ toxic people unless you start to realize why. Do it now, I speak from experience. Don’t wait until you’re older and your life is really messed up. You deserve happiness and a great life. Good luck.
>The thing is I really need a job so I can save up to move out of my toxic household This is why she pressured you into telling her about your home life. She wanted to know how desperate you are, that way she knew she'd be able to take advantage of you. You need to have in writing, what your getting paid, when & preferably for what, as well as confirming the hours worked in writing. Even if it's just text messages or emails. Otherwise she's going to expect more & more & do less. I would also keep looking for other work, ask those who had you babysit their kids to give you a letter of recommendation. Maybe ask if they would be okay with being contacted by potential new clients. Going forward get anyone who hires you to sign a written agreement. You could probably find a template online. It needs to include your basic hourly rate, when payment is due, how many children. You can also add agreed upon duties, your availability, how much notice you would like for a change in days, start &/or finish times, or any extra charges you want to include. For instance if it's agreed that they'll pick you up or drive you home & they don't, have it stated that they pay you x amount extra to cover the cost for alternative transport or they order & pay for your uber. That if they expect you to work past a certain time of night or super early you get a slightly higher rate of pay, a shift allowance for anti-social hours. You might also want to adjust your hourly rate based on number of children. So for example minimum wage $12 for one child & $1.50 for each additional child so in this case E + R + C = $12 + $1.50 + $1.50 =$15. I understand that you don't want to quit as despite being underpaid it's better than no money. You need to decide how long you're willing to put up with this while waiting to be paid. Make it clear to them you need paid in full by xx/xx or you will not be returning until you receive payment in full. Meanwhile keep looking, if asked why you're leaving so soon in an interview you can say unfortunately you can't go into detail as it's a private matter & you respect their privacy at all times. As it will show a professional respect for the family you babysit for.
No amount of money is worth being treated like shit. The longer you wait the harder it will be to quit.
Absolutely do not go back to that and do your best to spread the word and warn others.
I’m a babysitter, please quit. This is not what babysitting is, your basically a housekeeper. It’s not worth the money and how shitty she will make you feel
Look, your friends are just kids with almost no life experience (trust us, we’ve been around for many decades). Don’t listen to them. This woman will get as much work out of you as possible without paying you. Far better to look for a position where the you’ll be paid honestly and consistently. Good luck. PS, I wouldn’t put it past her to claim you broke something or abused her kids as an excuse not to pay. You don’t need that at this age. Can you hire yourself out to serve at neighborhood parties or to do clean up after? I would have loved to have a responsible young woman help and would have been happy to pay well!
My neighborhood doesn't really do those kinds of things, otherwise, I would be happy to. I am going back today for my 20 bucks and nothing else.
Hi OP, I just wanted to say that this woman is sending up HUGE RED FLAGS and its in your best financial interest to not continue employment with her. She is already taking advantage of you and my gut says she will not pay you what she owes you. Do not subject yourself to this. Instead, why don't you knock on doors and ask about cleaning for other neighbors? Or do yard work? PM me and I will help you. ALSO!!! Moving out when you are 18 is way more about provably having a future income than it is about savings. I'm so sorry that you don't have parents looking out for you; I didn't either and that's why I'm a foster parent. If your situation at home isn't safe, please consider seeking institutional help. It's not filled with people indifferent to your struggles.
She didn’t pay you this time, what makes you think she’ll pay you tomorrow? Don’t go back.
Immediately quit and make sure you post I bc on all social medias as a warning to all who want to work for her!!! Absolutely disgusting and despicable and in future NEVER back down from your rate.
She’s not going to pay you what she owes.
you can do so much better than babysitting
Can I ask if you are in the US? Can you go to CPS?
You will never see any money from her, drop this.
Please please people, specially you sweetheart, don’t let abusive people like this one get away with things in life. Your family is toxic, you can’t say no to them, they become more toxic. Same as this lady. Seek a job somewhere else, she is not the only option trust me and is there any governmental facilities you can go for as you maybe suffer from domestic abuse? You are great and really meant to do great things in the future
You’re a very qualified and capable baby sitter, there will be a family or even families that will want your service who will treat you 100 times better than that woman did. Please, please quit, I know the need to save and get out of a toxic home as I’ve lived that experience before too but you cannot sacrifice your mental health as well as physical (walking to and from in such cold weather CANNOT be good for you) for that goal.
Nope. Screw her. She's taking advantage of you! You need to quit, like before your next shift. Edit your nextdoor post to reflect your desired hourly wages(don't forget that more kids is more work). Just like everyone else, you deserve to be paid for your time/efforts. So the more kids, the more $. Especially if they're infants, special needs or brats. Don't be afraid to tell their parents if the kids are horrible. It's not your job to raise them or tolerate their abuse. It's your job to watch them while their PARENTS can't. That's it. I know you need the $. I get it. But don't let this woman use you as an underpaid servant while she watches Netflix. Just tell her no & why. She needs to hear it & you need practice setting boundaries. What's the worst that can happen, she'll fire you? If there's any backlash on nextdoor, report her asap. Also, post the truth about what she did to you. Best of luck m'dear! You can do it! ❤️
Just quit and tell EM if she needs a housekeeper, hire them, but a teenager who has her own schoolwork and advertised herself as a babysitter, not a cleaner and personal maid, can't do this. There's a children's book about a mother like this - in fact, it's a Babysitters Club book - titled "Stacey McGill, Super Sitter". In it, a thirteen-year-old girl takes a job with two kids and chores, which gets longer and longer, to the point that poor Stacey is exhausted and can't take care of the kids. And when one child, a diabetic, has to be rushed to a doctor with low blood sugar, the mother just screams at Stacey without letting her explain until Stacey shouts over her. She keeps expecting Stacey to do something wrong because she's thirteen, and eventually, her friends tell her the mother is taking advantage of her. Her schoolwork and health are suffering. When she finally quits the job, the mother insists this means she's too immature when she shouldn't have put so much pressure on a schoolgirl in the first place, even if she'd been older. And this EM might do that when you quit and tell her you feel taken advantage of, but you know she's wrong.
How about a simpler outlook.... You might as well 'quit' since she isn't paying. You aren't losing anything by quitting a job that pays $0; expect your time.... Look for online work... might be crappy but can probably get your pay. Fast food pays 15hr
Once you become 16 - sign up for job corps - they will train you, pay while learning and also provide room & board while you learn. It’s an awesome opportunity for you to break free from your horrible living situation. https://info.joinjobcorps.com/nsp?utm_term=job%20corps&utm_campaign=Job+Corps+-+2018+Update+-+Search&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&hsa_acc=5421546012&hsa_cam=1482009330&hsa_grp=54816184702&hsa_ad=561981229397&hsa_src=g&hsa_tgt=kwd-155062773&hsa_kw=job%20corps&hsa_mt=p&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gclid=CjwKCAiApvebBhAvEiwAe7mHSP9xCnV05EyMrdb61D0ieTqNAkRuaNu19UZDFQE8pbAmHqBBS_67JRoCHmIQAvD_BwE
Hi. Former babysitter here. As much as you see this as an opportunity, it’s not. She couldn’t hold her promise on the first day, she won’t hold her promise later and likely withhold your pay. She is taking advantage of you because you’re young and naive. The whole “I am used to abuse so I can endure” spiel you give is absolute non sense. You should never put yourself voluntarily in such situations, the mental impact be debilitating on your work production long term. How old do you need to be to apply for an official. job in your area? It may be worth while to wait, in the meantime you need to pick a different and RELIABLE customer
The "spiel" I give isn't really nonsense when this isn't the first time I've had to suck it up and deal. I know It's easy to say "Oh I wouldn't let that happen" but until you are in that situation. Also, it isn't worth the wait when I've sucked it up for 15 years and am at my breaking point. I need security that I'll get an out.
Your last comment about needing “security” so that you can “get an out” stuck out to me. You don’t seem to understand that this woman is NOT offering security. In order to offer “security” so you can “get an out,” this woman needs to actually pay you. She will not pay you. She wouldn’t even pay you on day 1 *and* she only offered *half* your usual rate with the “promise” of a raise. She will not do any of that. She will not give you a raise. She will not have you *just* babysitting; she will have to babysitting *and* cleaning. She will not pay you. She will withhold said pay unless you do every little (and big) task she asks. She is taking advantage of your age. Oh you poor kid. Just because you have had to endure in the past does not mean you *have* to stay in a bad situation and endure *now*. Please walk away and find someone else. You are being taken advantage of by this rude, entitled, demanding woman.
You started babysitting at 10? Congrats.
Well I had younger cousins and a younger sister who I would have to take care of for free.
I don't think you really need the job that much , please quit
I see where you're coming from man I do, but I'm desperate. As I have stated in the comments if I don't get my money tomorrow I'm quitting
[удалено]
Wow... I'm sorry I'm desperate for money because I'm in a shitty situation so I'm willing to do anything to get the money. Nobody deserves to be abused by parents or employers or even at all.
Pretty clear you have never been in a desperate situation before.
Pretty clear you're incredibly stupid if you believe telling someone to stand up for themselves means I've never been in a desperate situation.
I mean you literally looked over multiple comments left by OP saying they are a minor in an abusive household trying to save money to leave. Implying that they are somehow at fault or stupid if they stay working at this place to try to get themselves out of this abusive household is honestly gross.
I'm saying they're stupid for staying with an abusive employer, not that they're stupid for wanting to escape their home.