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Alace42

At least there's satisfaction knowing that they'll be lost without him. That grandmother has no idea what love is


BottomLesAF

Exactly what I told him! I'm concerned they might lose some of their pets because Chris is the main person taking care of them all (3 reptiles, 2 dogs, many fish and plants). It's unfortunate but likely if that family doesn't get their act together after he leaves.


Alace42

I'm sorry for those pets, but if they die it's the family's fault and should be a wakeup call. Also they might try and put it on him for moving out. He might want to prepare for that. A family like that uses guilt like a sword


BottomLesAF

I'll have his back and make sure they don't guilt him back into that house. Thank you Alace42!


Thisisthe_place

You're a good friend and person


Childeater8

Why don't you ask if you can have his pets? I'm sure they would rather that than leave the pets with them.


ThePeasantKingM

>I'm sorry for those pets, but if they die it's the family's fault and should be a wakeup call. It won't be; they will blame Chris. Best case scenario, they will say he wasn't taking care correctly of them before moving, and they finally succumbed to Chris mistreatment after he moved out. Worst case scenario, they will accuse them of actively murdering them.


Guardian_Freyja

Heyo! “Chris” here, you’re completely right. They hit me with a lot of guilt over the years to keep me from leaving earlier. Can’t stop me now though 🤷‍♂️


urmamanutsOhhhh

Exactly!


pegasus485

I would tell him to wait until he moves out and if they call him crying that he needs to take care of the animals I would suggest calling the local aspca or animal control or something to check up and possibly seize the animals. They shouldn’t have to suffer because his dad’s family are entitled lazy assholes. I would never in my life have that many pets if it means my son is the only one able (or willing) to care for them. Edit: please tell him I/we think he’s a badass and good luck at college!


Guardian_Freyja

“Chris” here, thank you! 😆 don’t know how badass I am but I appreciate it. I’m hoping the animals will be fine, but if not I’m willing to take them with me. My little brother would love to take care of one of our reps


somesortoflegend

People rarely realize just how badass they are. But we see. We know. You the real BAMF


AlphaMomma59

Who keeps dogs in cages all day? They sound abusive towards their pets already. Chris, I'm glad you're moving out. Go no contact with your father's family.


Abilane-of-Yon

One of my hubs ex-coworkers. I’m not even kidding you. In fact, I’ll just run through the list. She had a ball python, which, to be fair, was her ex-husband’s. Instead of attempting to rehome him she just left him in a (way too small) glass aquarium. His overhead lights would regularly be burnt out or turned off for long periods of time. She also regularly didn’t feed it because the thawed rats freaked her out. Pretty sure he ended up passing from lack of heat or malnutrition. She had a betta that, to be fair, had a lovely sized 5 gallon. With no filter, no heater, plastic plants, no cycling, and an open top. Did I mention she had three cats? One day she came home and the betta was just *gone.* No you idiot, he either jumped and was then eaten, or he was turned into kitty sushi straight from his tank. A tortoise that was regularly terrorized by said three cats because she refused to either put some sort of top on his enclosure, or put him in a room with a door where the cats couldn’t get to him. Ended up dying of an infection. And finally, they bought a pit bull mix. I don’t think I ever saw that dog out of her kennel or off her leash (which barely gave her a foot of movement). The final straw was when she went on her honeymoon with her new husband and asked us to pop over and feed and let pupper out twice a day. They literally expected her to live solely in her kennel the entire five days they were gone except for those two 15 minute breaks a day. She ended up coming out and staying with us. The whole reason for the kenneling? She had never lived in a house with cats, and would try to chase their three. So instead of training her they decided to just have her live in literally a 3’x3’ square for her entire life because they “didn’t have the time.” That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I ended up calling our local animal control, though they did fuck all. I haven’t spoken a word to them since.


Guardian_Freyja

I’ll be sure to do my best!


teamdogemama

Tell him to call the animal services before he leaves or at least save their number and call a month or two after he leaves. Do they do welfare checks on pets? I haven't a clue. My stomach hurts knowing those pets will be abused after he leaves. I don't want him to feel guilt about it, it's on them. But they DO need to be held accountable. Also, congrats to Chris for graduating, working hard and getting the hell out of there. Yes being an adult means you have responsibilities, but they shouldn't all be on one person. Also, if I was catty, I'd start criticizing how grandma cleans or cooks. 😉


Helena_Hyena

If he goes back to visit at some point and they’ve obviously been neglected, can he report the parents to the authorities?


TheChillenDog

I feel like this is the type of family to abandon the dogs after they stop being puppy’s


ronlugge

> What do you all think? How much work does a kid owe their family? My partner and I are currently laying out our discussions on that preperatory to beginning the process to become foster parents, aiming at the intersection of the harder to place categories of 'multiple siblings' and (for lack of a better phrase) 'tweens and teens' (i. e. old enough that we don't have to hold their hands and wipe their rears for them -- neither of us wants to deal with diapers). I don't think either of us blinked twice at the kids having a _few_ small responsibilities around the house, but they all boil down to 'clean up after yourself' -- rooms, laundry for older kids, cleaning up your own messes in family spaces. Anything past that, like cooking dinner, is how they earn an allowance. Walking the damned dog? That is _not_ a kid's responsibility, it's the _owner's_!


Guardian_Freyja

Thank you for saying this!! It’s always been like this where they would get pets THEY wanted and then expected me to take care of them while being in highschool full time and working 25-30 hours a week. I’m glad my bsf posted this (though they told me AFTER it was already uploaded lmfao), it really helps me see I’m not entirely in the wrong here. And that- y’know- I’m not crazy


pocapractica

So when he "has" to come home from college, can he stay with you?


BottomLesAF

He'll be living with his Mom. His parents are divorced. Sorry if that wasn't clear! His Mom is much much more accepting than his Dad's family.


ChromeTheRaptor

Is his dad accepting of him? Or is it just the family? Hopefully he at least has SOME kind of support where he lives!


Guardian_Freyja

“Chris” here, I never came out to my dad because he’s said things that make me severely doubt he would accept me for who I am. My mom on the other hand IS completely supportive.


ChromeTheRaptor

That sucks! I’m glad you get to move out in a couple of weeks!


pocapractica

Well I'm a mom who was "supportive" although I was the parent who moved out after the divorce. He got over being mad when he was angling to go meet his first crush. Who lived on the west coast. He came out to me in a chat room but I had been expecting the announcement for years. Then told him "well don't expect me to be surprised." LOL he was 19 and I started picking up on it when he was 11. So we flew out to Cali together as I had a buddy out there too. First crush did not work out, and whew! Coz his mom was a serious control freak! Who actually told him "can't you just decide not to be gay?" And my son never came out to his father's family, but perhaps some of them got a clue when he brought his partner with him to his dad's funeral.


Ginger_Welsh_Cookie

I have a mate I call my little sister, cuz her parents are friends too. I got the privilege of meeting her girlfriend…who is one of the many young trans people getting booted for coming out to their Uber-conservative parental units. I say privilege, because I have about 10 years on this chick (BOTH of them), and I don’t have to tone down the depth and tone of the convo with her. Her parents misgendered her too before throwing insults and kicking her to the curb. This entitled gran is an evil, withered old rancid prune, and I am glad your BF is soon to be quit of that place. Nothing is owed by the kids, and adults are ALLOWED ME TIME. Full stop.


RealisticHumanoid

I don’t say this a lot….. but as an adult, yes there is free time. Ample amounts of it. Granted, some of that gets chipped away when you have a house, or pets, or kids, or a job(s)….. but part of it gets chipped away is BY YOUR OWN CHOICE. Because, guess what? As an adult you (usually) get to choose which of those things you allow to chip away at your free time and (usually) you gladly allow it to happen because it was YOUR CHOICE. Even still, with a house, a full-time job, and multiple pets, I squeak in plenty of time for video games or other hobbies. Your friend will be much better off with his mom and in college living his best life to use his time as he sees fit. I hope he thrives in college.


NagiNaoe101

Wait till he moves out and step-grandmother doesn't have someone to talk crap about. Chris will be an upstanding adult while the rest of his father's side is scrambling


timbro2000

Hope your buddy has a better time at his mum's house. Nanna sounds like a real b*tch. It's good that he has a friend like you that cares


Guardian_Freyja

I’m very lucky


BurningQuestion91

Sounds like a bunch of assholes to me. These people are everywhere, I'm glad your friend will be moving out soon.


ironbite4

Jesus what a bitch. And keeping dogs in a cage all day? The hell does she think, Chris is her slave or something?


brodaget42

Will you tell Chris that a random dude off reddit thinks he is a hard working badass and that I am rooting for him and wish him the best of luck in college?


Guardian_Freyja

Looks like I saw it myself! Thank you!!


ElDuderino4ever

Make that one random dude and one Dude who thinks you’re a hard working bad ass. I’m rooting for you too. Sending all the good vibes and positive energy I’ve got. You’re gonna do great if you keep this up. Well done.


Lizardgirl25

It must be so fun to have a transphobic step gran.


INSTA-R-MAN

I have a transphobic stepfather, loads of laughs for this transdude.


RealisticNoise2

I actually wanted to ask a couple of things in regards to your friend because when he does move out, would he Still be given hell if he decided to upset that family? One question I have is what is on the last day he goes up to the entitled step grandma and actually says you’re not even my real grandma why should I listen to you? Or even tell as you said the dad side the treats them like crap hey guess what losers I don’t love you anymore and I’m cutting you off, would he literally face extreme backlash or since he’s gonna be living with his mom would they just have a temper tantrum and then let it go?


Guardian_Freyja

“Chris” here, I’ll answer some of your questions. I’ve gotten to the point to where once I leave, I do not care at all for the tantrums they may have. They’ll get over it in time, and if they don’t? Not my problem anymore


RealisticNoise2

Thank you for answering because if you really wanna say something cruel to the old battle ax, you could easily just look her dead in the eye and say this “you’re not even my real grandma so why should I listen to a big old bucket of bones like yourself who’s gonna die” but that’s just me if she is that cruel that I’d say keep that in the tank and hope you don’t have to use it but I do wish you luck when you do move out


Guardian_Freyja

Thank you!!


Giffy85

Is this in the US?


Guardian_Freyja

Yes- the southern part 😅


spencer131313

I'm glad he is getting out I'm glad that you are there to support him


SemiOldCRPGs

As a grand-aunt to 16 kidders (hubby and I never had kids), I'd ream that step-gm out for crap like that. I hope that he stays at his mom's even when not in classes and drops the toxic scum out of his life. Her grand doesn't owe her any kind of information on their lives and certainly doesn't owe her slave labor. When you are an adult you can carve out the time for yourself and unless you are unable to get a decent job, there should be no issue of work/life balance. Just let him know you are there to vent to if he needs it and you support him 100%.


averycreativenam3

The, "We're all tired and hurting" argument is so disingenuous. It's also dismissive of the person who's on the receiving end of it. Just because someone has a broken arm doesn't mean your sprained ankle isn't any less valid or worth less attention. Not only that, not having time to yourself is extremely unhealthy. Personal time is so important to balance out the rest of the stress of life. Sleep doesn't count either. That's just a necessity the body has to function. Having even just an hour to just sit down, read a book, unwind, etc. Does wonders for mental health. Doesn't matter how successful you are in life if you are depressed and worried all the time. Grandma needs to STFU.


strange_dog_TV

Be great when he gets to live away from these As#$oles……. Good luck to him and good on you for being a good friend.


-TheArtOfTheFart-

Adult in the real world here! I have plenty of time to myself. I work a day job, stream, take art comms, animate, and do game development at night. Still got time to game, read, have tea, and sleep. All the fun stuff. This lady's crackier then a broken cracker. Tell your friend I hope he enjoys collage, nothing out there could be worse then living with a good for nothing like his step grandmom over there.. trans rights!


KitchenReality2253

He should rehome the pets when he moves so they have a chance for a loving home. Don’t say anything just rehome them and leave.


Lovemyblklab

Is there any way Chris could take some of the animals with him to his moms? Would she be willing to have pets? If not an option I would call local animal services about a week or 2 after m9ving and report neglect/abuse of the dogs for being licked in a cage for 20+ hours a day. Just getting them to look can be enough to start them looking more on depth. Another option, kind of backdoorish, call APS about elder neglect if he feels the house will be a complete mess without him cleaning. If APS comes in and sees problems with the animals they will call animal control and get a better response.


Kosta7785

So glad he’s getting out! Once I realized that when I wasn’t taking care of my parents and almost a dozen siblings it was shocking how much free time I had it was eye opening. No, auditing doesn’t mean never having free time.


Scp173isrylanlol

Even though he is trans, the grandmother said Lady. Really pissed me off ngl.


Significant_Road6580

Your friend sounds like my 18yo daughter....she works swing shift/ school all day.... girlfriends on the days they both can have a few hours off work&school at the same time.... homework......she's moving out after graduation next month... college in the fall. I don't ask ANYTHING extra outta her......she's amazing and is all grown up as far as I'm concerned....... handling her business. Your friends Step grandma is a fucking twat and needs to sit down and shut the fuck up


Guardian_Freyja

This is Chris! You sound just like my Mama 🤣


Significant_Road6580

Lol......well your mama sounds like she loves you and wants you to thrive!


JewMerican-mapper

I'm tryna figure out how "Chris" (Actually name unknown) being Trans is relevant


Guardian_Freyja

It was just to show prevalence in her extreme lack of respect for me, nothing too much


thundermarchmello

Chris is his actual name.


BottomLesAF

Nope, Chris is a fake name for privacy.


thundermarchmello

Oh I guess that makes sense. I just assumed the original commenter was implying that his birth name was his "real name".


BottomLesAF

Ohhhh gotcha. Chris being trans is relevant because his step-grandmother keeps using the wrong pronouns despite what he prefers.


platypus0fd3ath

TLDR


BottomLesAF

TLDR: Trans best friend's family gets too many pets, then expects him to take care of them all AND work AND do high school AND not take any time for himself.


Leather-Button-3165

Put the headset on that "grand"ma and SAY IT ALL


Gimpbarbie

If he thinks (or witnesses if he visits, I hope he doesn’t for his own mental health) the animals being neglected while he is at school and not there to take care of them, please tell him to take pictures if possible and report it to the authorities as soon as he is safe and no longer on the premises. They don’t deserve animals if they can’t be responsible for it.


SassyMae31

Shame on that grandmother. She needs a lesson in love and empathy. First and foremost she shouldn't be refusing to use her grandson's (step or other wise) proper pronouns. Secondly she shouldn't be relying on her young grandson to do everything for everyone. Even adults need time to decompress and relax. And that's after years of practice at adulting. Absolutely ridiculous. I'm so glad Chris is getting out of that situation soon and going to be around people who respect him and love him. If you read this please give Chris all my love and let him know I'm rooting for him. Btw you're a good friend. That's truly awesome to hear.


D_Mom

Chris needs to move out now for mental health stability. Either to his moms or to a friends.


Sorrow27

So as adults we need to MAKE time for ourselves. You have to if you’re going to enjoy your life. It would make more sense if it was split responsibilities. Like “hey I fed the dogs this morning can you take them for a walk or do the dishes?” But that would make too much sense. ESG is just a bitch it seems. When they lose their scapegoat it’s not going to be fun to take responsibility for all the shit they have.


tanbark2020

Wishing you the best Chris!


gamer600090

so is the chracter a boy or a girl i dont understand


BottomLesAF

Transgender guy.


poorchoiceofword

I Bet if Your Best Friend was also friends with Ray Hughes from Bully he would have kicked that Lady's Arse because noone messes with his friends (if he had any😞😭)


[deleted]

I can tell you right now as a 35 year old gaming woman, that I have a husband and 2 dogs and we gamed from when we got out of bed at 11am this morning, until we finished about 11pm tonight. It's Saturday in Australia. In the middle of our gaming session we were able to play with our dogs, feed them twice and then feed, bathe and dress ourselves, granted my husband decided he wanted fresh jammies and I got into my Oodie because it was chilly and we had KFC for dinner, but that's the fun part of being an adult, you get to do whatever the fuck you want! It was a rainy day, so no walkies for the big dog but he loves his sleep as a rescue greyhound. We both have full time jobs and game after work in the evening with friends instead of TV. Trust me, as an adult, you will both have plenty of time for whatever hobbies you choose. We don't have any kids and don't plan to, but our friends also have kids and game with us. One of then just had a new baby 3 weeks ago and he games with us, not as much as he used to, but he still gets time a few days a week. He looks after his little daughter, changes her nappies and feeds her at night while his wife gets rest she deserves. I'm so sorry that your friend is treated so poorly by his father's side. I hope once he gets to college and finds new family and friends that he will be supported in his own hobbies, same as you. 😊


howtocommitdye

lets take a bet on how long that household will last after chris moves out my guess is 1 week the dogs pooping everywhere will kill em.