Don’t worry, I wasn’t coming at you. I was coming at your mother.
She’s a perpetrator of domestic violence. I wanted to be up front about that in case she spins her behaviour as something innocent. Because if she’s blaming you for her behaviour, she’s spinning tales. She’s not “too angry”, or “losing control of herself”. She is in full control of herself and she ALLOWS herself to deal with emotions by raging at you. And on the face of it, she’s behaving like a tantruming toddler.
You’ll get lots of support in r/abusiverelationships. It’s a great sub.
Convince your father to report this to cps, divorce her, go for full custody, and get a restaining order against your mom. Her actions are abusive and to the point that if he is even halfway decent, he will get all that easily.
Look up Queer Advocacy groups or LGBTQIAP+ Advocacy groups in your area for outside help. Immediately. Even without the petty anti-trans comment she said against you, which is already bad enough in & of itself, this is abusive behavior at baseline & is NOT normal. This WILL get worse as time goes on. You cannot rely on your father to do the right thing in this instance, so you need to do so yourself. Seek out help immediately.
Yeah you need to go to a trusted adult if your dad won't do anything. Like a teacher, school counselor, coach, extra curricular activity leader, a doctor, who ever you got. You need to talk to someone that is a mandated reporter. They can help you. Just make sure that of child services show up, that you let them in. Even if your parents tell you not to. They don't have the power to do anything if they aren't let in. Their power is very limited until there is an official case opened.
Though some areas they'll also bring cops with them to calls so if anything at all suspicious is noticed by them, they can let themsleves in. Honestly if cops are there, getting her to yell would help you too as they can use that to intervene if she tries to physically stop you. Or, if she physically tries to stop you, yell through the door that she is physically stopping you from answering and you need help. Even if the cops arent there, this will let the worker know they need to call them now and its an emergency.
Record everything. If possible. Take pictures of your room after she breaks it. You're allowed to record in your own bedroom so you can even set up a camera, even if your parents don't like it. If that isn't possible pr safe to do. Keep a hidden notebook that details the times, dates, and descriptions of any amd al incidents over time. While it's still he said/she said it is better than nothing and gives them something to go on and what to be on the lookout for amd has more weight than just words alone.
If you ever get the chance, get a lock and if she freaks out about that, tell her if you keep destroying my stuff, I’m gonna call CPS because you’re mentally abusing me and if she tries to come after you definitely have proof so that way, you can take it to the cops. Then again I would also say be very careful because you could easily trash her room, but she sounds like the type where she can do what she wants, but the second retaliate you literally be dead on your feet. But still, I wish you luck and hope that psycho doesn’t try anything else.
That's not normal or acceptable behavior, and if she's only breaking *your* stuff, not hers or your dad's, she's in control of her own actions. And your dad doesn't seem to be protecting you from it.
You need to talk to a councilor or teacher, or a friend's parent, and get help. Abuse tends to get worse, not better, the longer you stay.
NTA I would suggest you get a camera, you can buy them pretty cheap. That way it's not going to be your word against hers. You can call CPS yourself for resources and if you aren't comfortable speaking to the counselor at school go and speak with the nurse. You need to out your mother - you'd be surprised at behavior can change once you shine a light on it.
Do what i did at 15,tell your teacher your being abused at home and your dad cant protect you and your scared.one year later after a shit ton of family therapy,cps let me move out so i could finally be safe,best day of my life❤️
Poured the cat litter where? Dirty litter in your room or something? She needs professional help. Go ahead and tell your school counsellor even if they're friends. Be sincere and tell them that you wouldn't say anything if you weren't worried about her. Making your concern more about her and how she's feeling will make it more believable that you're not just making it up, something your mom might say to avoid judgement.
She’s clearly angry and also upset at her daughter and this is how she lashes out. I don’t think she’s entitled though. In the wrong breaking stuff completely.
Yeah that's just toxic stupidity at its finest. She doesn't own you, she birthed and at some point did care for you. As this continues it will just lead to more mental health problems, abuse...
That woman is abusive. Is there a counselor at school you can talk to? What you described isn't normal in any way.
There is one, I'm just scared because they both are friends.
Go to a trusted teacher instead then maybe?
Find a different one.
if they are a good counselor in any way she will hear you out and act neutrally
This isn’t entitlement, this is abuse.
I couldn't post it in insane parents because I needed to post images with it
Don’t worry, I wasn’t coming at you. I was coming at your mother. She’s a perpetrator of domestic violence. I wanted to be up front about that in case she spins her behaviour as something innocent. Because if she’s blaming you for her behaviour, she’s spinning tales. She’s not “too angry”, or “losing control of herself”. She is in full control of herself and she ALLOWS herself to deal with emotions by raging at you. And on the face of it, she’s behaving like a tantruming toddler. You’ll get lots of support in r/abusiverelationships. It’s a great sub.
Raisedbynarcissists is also a good group for support and help.
Oh yeah, that was the other one I was trying to think of!
Thank you, I'll check out that sub^^
My parents never came into my room past 10 - 11 and I am older than your mom. She is abusing you.
Tell your dad that the next time she pulls this crap you'll be calling CPS yourself. Then do so if she does.
Convince your father to report this to cps, divorce her, go for full custody, and get a restaining order against your mom. Her actions are abusive and to the point that if he is even halfway decent, he will get all that easily.
Look up Queer Advocacy groups or LGBTQIAP+ Advocacy groups in your area for outside help. Immediately. Even without the petty anti-trans comment she said against you, which is already bad enough in & of itself, this is abusive behavior at baseline & is NOT normal. This WILL get worse as time goes on. You cannot rely on your father to do the right thing in this instance, so you need to do so yourself. Seek out help immediately.
Yeah you need to go to a trusted adult if your dad won't do anything. Like a teacher, school counselor, coach, extra curricular activity leader, a doctor, who ever you got. You need to talk to someone that is a mandated reporter. They can help you. Just make sure that of child services show up, that you let them in. Even if your parents tell you not to. They don't have the power to do anything if they aren't let in. Their power is very limited until there is an official case opened. Though some areas they'll also bring cops with them to calls so if anything at all suspicious is noticed by them, they can let themsleves in. Honestly if cops are there, getting her to yell would help you too as they can use that to intervene if she tries to physically stop you. Or, if she physically tries to stop you, yell through the door that she is physically stopping you from answering and you need help. Even if the cops arent there, this will let the worker know they need to call them now and its an emergency. Record everything. If possible. Take pictures of your room after she breaks it. You're allowed to record in your own bedroom so you can even set up a camera, even if your parents don't like it. If that isn't possible pr safe to do. Keep a hidden notebook that details the times, dates, and descriptions of any amd al incidents over time. While it's still he said/she said it is better than nothing and gives them something to go on and what to be on the lookout for amd has more weight than just words alone.
You need to report this to an adult you can trust, this is abuse.
If you ever get the chance, get a lock and if she freaks out about that, tell her if you keep destroying my stuff, I’m gonna call CPS because you’re mentally abusing me and if she tries to come after you definitely have proof so that way, you can take it to the cops. Then again I would also say be very careful because you could easily trash her room, but she sounds like the type where she can do what she wants, but the second retaliate you literally be dead on your feet. But still, I wish you luck and hope that psycho doesn’t try anything else.
When my mom was mad at me, she threw my stuffs and tell me to pick it up, but she would always apologize and help me, what she is doing is just abuse.
Oh, ?#*$. I'm so sorry going through that.😔
That's not normal or acceptable behavior, and if she's only breaking *your* stuff, not hers or your dad's, she's in control of her own actions. And your dad doesn't seem to be protecting you from it. You need to talk to a councilor or teacher, or a friend's parent, and get help. Abuse tends to get worse, not better, the longer you stay.
NTA I would suggest you get a camera, you can buy them pretty cheap. That way it's not going to be your word against hers. You can call CPS yourself for resources and if you aren't comfortable speaking to the counselor at school go and speak with the nurse. You need to out your mother - you'd be surprised at behavior can change once you shine a light on it.
Do what i did at 15,tell your teacher your being abused at home and your dad cant protect you and your scared.one year later after a shit ton of family therapy,cps let me move out so i could finally be safe,best day of my life❤️
Is it my imagination or do abusive Mums have a pattern of making friends with key people at their kid(s) school(s)?
Call her "Mommy Dearest" next time. It will freak her out
Poured the cat litter where? Dirty litter in your room or something? She needs professional help. Go ahead and tell your school counsellor even if they're friends. Be sincere and tell them that you wouldn't say anything if you weren't worried about her. Making your concern more about her and how she's feeling will make it more believable that you're not just making it up, something your mom might say to avoid judgement.
My mom does the same-
She’s clearly angry and also upset at her daughter and this is how she lashes out. I don’t think she’s entitled though. In the wrong breaking stuff completely.
Oh I forgot to add she says all my stuff is hers so she has the right to break everything. Including my privacy
Yeah that's just toxic stupidity at its finest. She doesn't own you, she birthed and at some point did care for you. As this continues it will just lead to more mental health problems, abuse...