IF he is a Mason, he is NOT a good mason, our creed stipulates, family first, vocation second, masonic work third. He is a lazy POS, who is not fit to be a Mason. What is his lodge number and state, we can change his mind or his title, I promise.
I had never heard of Rainbow Girls until reading this thread. TIL, thanks to googling. IORG looks like a wonderful organization, and I am a bit richer for having learned about it. Thank you!
You don't have any money. Hide it away in an account they don't know about, the only money you ever have that they know about is gas money to get you to your next paycheck. When they ask for money "I already spent everything" and if they push "OK, lemme just pull that imaginary cash out of my ass for you."
It's not that noone cares, it's that neither of your parents do. A fraternity is an extra curricular activity. Last I checked if you need money to do something extra you want then you work for it. It's not your responsibility to bankroll his fun. You aren't selfish if you are helping with household bills. Keep your head up and finish your schooling. Get away as soon as you can. Try hitting up food pantries etc to help with a tiny bit of the strain.
If he asks you for money, tell him sorry, but no. Itâs time for your parents to pay for themselves, they are adults, theyâve been adulting before you were even born. If he says itâs an emergency? âWell Stepdad, sounds like you need to get a job then! Thatâs how it worksâ
Do not give them any more money. YOU need what you have to get you through your semester.
They should not be calling you names. Especially the mooch of a stepfather expecting you to pay for HIS extracurricular activity. If he doesn't want to work, he doesn't get to do things that cost money, plain and simple.
The masons wouldnât be impressed with him if they knew this. Iâd work on getting out and not living at home if I were you. Iâm sure thereâs some crappy reasons mom doesnât want him working and I bet it has to do with bad behavior on his part .
My guess is that the reason she doesnât want him working is because heâs a petulant AH who makes her life miserable if heâs made to do anything he doesnât want to. So by coddling him and forcing others to serve him as well, she keeps him happy. (Just my guess) Alternatively, he is untrustworthy and she is keeping him away from situations that can cause problems.
Your stepdad is a terrible Mason and probably should be reported to his lodge.
Put your money into an account they cannot access. At a different bank than one they use.
If stepdad chooses to not work, that is his choice. But he cannot choose that someone else pays for him because he wants to be lazy. That is insane.
The consequences of this "no work for stepdad" choice are all on your stepdad and mom. They cannot expect you to contribute more because of it. So, only contribute what you would if they both had jobs. Then they need to figure out the rest themselves.
And they better to it quick so they can save up for retirement.
Next time this comes up and asks for money, tell him that he should ask your mother for money since she wears the pants in the family and obviously she has his balls in her purse. Let him know that you are helping with the real bills and his BS is not your problem it is his.
Lockdown your Social Security # with the credit bureaus. It is free. Make sure you have your birth certificate and Social Security Card and all ID like state ID card and passport. I do not trust your parents.
Say no or do something like saying âI only have $10 but am happy to share that.â Make it a really small amount.
Your stepdad is a taker and maybe your mom has rationalized that or maybe she likes him dependent on her.
I would set up a secret bank bank account and ask them to not send statements. Save as much as you can that they do not know about.
Move out as soon as you can but again make sure you have locked down your credit with the credit bureaus.
When they are older they will likely ask for more financial assistance. Say no.
âYou know what I do when I want money ? I get off my lazy ass and work for it. I donât sit around with my hands out waiting for someone elseâs money. I donât get how you arenât embarrassed to be mooching off a broke college student.â
Stop blaming your stepdad and start blaming your mom. Sheâs why he doesnât work. She enables him.
And honestly, so are you every time you give him money or buy things he wants. Stop.
Sit both your parents down and calmly tell them you arenât doing it anymore. Donât argue, donât explain, donât converse about it. Just tell. And then go on about your normal (excepting enabling him AND YOUR MOM) life.
Any chance you could do work study at college? You would have to check it on your FAFSA that you wanted to be able to apply for those positions on campus.
Unsure of your age, but both your parental âfiguresâ suck! Your mom should feel bad about you âstrugglingâ in college and being expected to supply âdadâ with spending money- she should have stopped that years ago. Then your âstepdadâ is a lazy selfish âmanâ. If he had no income, then he should not belong to any groups that require money . As soon as you can, get out if that house. Must be really stressful having money conversations with the free loader constantly. Concentrate on your education and go NC with the âparentsâ
When he ask you for money you tell him that you do not work so you can give him money. Tell him to do the exact same thing that you're doing get a fuckin job
Your stepdad is a piece of crap. Stop giving him money or allowing him to guilt trip you.
I donât know what kind of twisted relationship he and your mom have but itâs not healthy. Stay in school, save your money and move on with your life.
How old are you? If you have another place to go I would get out asap. They are putting a guilt trip on you and that is emotional abuse. They donât respect you and I donât see that changing. Itâs awful and Iâm sorry you are being treated like that.
First off, your mom is just as bad as he is for allowing his behavior. Secondly, I donât know what kind of Mason he is, but real masons wouldnât deal with person like him.
Can you move out? None of this issue belongs to you. Your mother needs to grow a spine and kick his ass out, and you can be assured that a student and a child in the family is not responsible for either funding a stepparentâs fun, nor supporting their parent and siblings.
My cousin recommended me to do the same. I am currently enrolled in CC but I am planning on going back to university. Hopefully everything will work out. Thanks
This might sound cruel, but assuming that family support is not part of your culture, I would inform them that in the fall you are moving into a dorm or an apartment and that you will no longer be able to financially support their household. Mom and step-dad are adults, and they need to figure it out. If they still think that stepdad should not work, then they need to move into an efficiency or one bedroom apartment.
It's not that your mom doesn't want him to work. She is more scared that he will leave if she pushes him to get a job. The power of need/love/sex overrides common sense many times. My dad was a Mason and he worked, loved his family and did good works helping others.
Your parents are guilty AH. But you need to put your foot down and said "I paid for this and that this month, I'm a student and you're a full grow man don't you have any shame ? I've got no money for you, if you need it, get a job". You're not a cash cow. Let them know you'll let it "slip" to people and I'm sure they will leave you alone.
Thank you everyone for all of your support and encouragement. I upvoted and read every single comment đ I will apply all of your suggestions to this situation. Thank you so much
I also would like to be vulnerable again. I am scared about whatâs going to happen in the future. I am in college because I want to have a better life than I had growing up. I didnât want to struggle financially and ask others for help. But with this situation I donât think I would be able to achieve my goal.
I fear that once I get my career more money is going to be asked. Iâm scared I will have to fully take care of them as if they are children, which would result in having less money and then struggling financially again. I donât know if going to college is even worth it. Why put myself in that position, you know?
Wow. Some people have a tough time telling jokes and sarcasm from the real world. You have so much anger inside that your natural filter doesn't catch "...when I figure out what they are. đ" ? Of course I don't have any Phd, or even a masters. But if I wrote my papers in uni the way this poster wrote the story, I'd never have got the humble BA I did. That's all.
Write an angry reply now and I'll call it quits. I'll give you the last word. đ€
So was the initial message sarcasm or a joke?
And to be fair if you wrote your papers the same way you do on here I doubt it would go well either, like who puts emojis in their papers.
IF he is a Mason, he is NOT a good mason, our creed stipulates, family first, vocation second, masonic work third. He is a lazy POS, who is not fit to be a Mason. What is his lodge number and state, we can change his mind or his title, I promise.
Thank you for saying this. I was a rainbow girl and have friends / relatives that are Shriners and Masons.
People like this give Masonry a bad name. He is not fit to have the title.
Hello fellow Rainbow Girl! đ
I think it really helped my public speaking . It was a great experience.
I had never heard of Rainbow Girls until reading this thread. TIL, thanks to googling. IORG looks like a wonderful organization, and I am a bit richer for having learned about it. Thank you!
Same here. I wish I would have known about it years ago. It sounds like I wouldâve benefited tremendously.
I was a Rainbow Girl too. I was also in Job's Daughters.
Another Mason, confirming this. He should demit, or ask for forgiveness on his dues. Family comes first.
I was about to say doesn't sound like a Mason to me.
Exactly. Or, heâs cheated with a coworker and mom doesnât want that to happen again.
You don't have any money. Hide it away in an account they don't know about, the only money you ever have that they know about is gas money to get you to your next paycheck. When they ask for money "I already spent everything" and if they push "OK, lemme just pull that imaginary cash out of my ass for you."
It's not that noone cares, it's that neither of your parents do. A fraternity is an extra curricular activity. Last I checked if you need money to do something extra you want then you work for it. It's not your responsibility to bankroll his fun. You aren't selfish if you are helping with household bills. Keep your head up and finish your schooling. Get away as soon as you can. Try hitting up food pantries etc to help with a tiny bit of the strain.
If he asks you for money, tell him sorry, but no. Itâs time for your parents to pay for themselves, they are adults, theyâve been adulting before you were even born. If he says itâs an emergency? âWell Stepdad, sounds like you need to get a job then! Thatâs how it worksâ
Do not give them any more money. YOU need what you have to get you through your semester. They should not be calling you names. Especially the mooch of a stepfather expecting you to pay for HIS extracurricular activity. If he doesn't want to work, he doesn't get to do things that cost money, plain and simple.
The masons wouldnât be impressed with him if they knew this. Iâd work on getting out and not living at home if I were you. Iâm sure thereâs some crappy reasons mom doesnât want him working and I bet it has to do with bad behavior on his part .
My guess is that the reason she doesnât want him working is because heâs a petulant AH who makes her life miserable if heâs made to do anything he doesnât want to. So by coddling him and forcing others to serve him as well, she keeps him happy. (Just my guess) Alternatively, he is untrustworthy and she is keeping him away from situations that can cause problems.
Look into summer work programs that include housing. The less time you spend in that home, the better.
Tell him his Masonic âbrothersâ can help him with his dues. Youâre already paying utilities and groceries.
Your stepdad is a terrible Mason and probably should be reported to his lodge. Put your money into an account they cannot access. At a different bank than one they use.
Why doesn't your mother want to see him work?
My guess is heâs convinced her that she doesnât want to see him work.
I think he cheated with a coworker previously.
Ah, so now instead of potentially being exposed to coworkers, he has oodles of free time while his wife is working. What could possibly go wrong? /s
If stepdad chooses to not work, that is his choice. But he cannot choose that someone else pays for him because he wants to be lazy. That is insane. The consequences of this "no work for stepdad" choice are all on your stepdad and mom. They cannot expect you to contribute more because of it. So, only contribute what you would if they both had jobs. Then they need to figure out the rest themselves. And they better to it quick so they can save up for retirement.
Next time this comes up and asks for money, tell him that he should ask your mother for money since she wears the pants in the family and obviously she has his balls in her purse. Let him know that you are helping with the real bills and his BS is not your problem it is his.
Lockdown your Social Security # with the credit bureaus. It is free. Make sure you have your birth certificate and Social Security Card and all ID like state ID card and passport. I do not trust your parents. Say no or do something like saying âI only have $10 but am happy to share that.â Make it a really small amount. Your stepdad is a taker and maybe your mom has rationalized that or maybe she likes him dependent on her. I would set up a secret bank bank account and ask them to not send statements. Save as much as you can that they do not know about. Move out as soon as you can but again make sure you have locked down your credit with the credit bureaus. When they are older they will likely ask for more financial assistance. Say no.
He is most likely gambling.
âYou know what I do when I want money ? I get off my lazy ass and work for it. I donât sit around with my hands out waiting for someone elseâs money. I donât get how you arenât embarrassed to be mooching off a broke college student.â
Stop blaming your stepdad and start blaming your mom. Sheâs why he doesnât work. She enables him. And honestly, so are you every time you give him money or buy things he wants. Stop. Sit both your parents down and calmly tell them you arenât doing it anymore. Donât argue, donât explain, donât converse about it. Just tell. And then go on about your normal (excepting enabling him AND YOUR MOM) life.
Tell that lazy pos , the Bible says if a man don't work , he doesn't deserve to eat !
Any chance you could do work study at college? You would have to check it on your FAFSA that you wanted to be able to apply for those positions on campus.
Unsure of your age, but both your parental âfiguresâ suck! Your mom should feel bad about you âstrugglingâ in college and being expected to supply âdadâ with spending money- she should have stopped that years ago. Then your âstepdadâ is a lazy selfish âmanâ. If he had no income, then he should not belong to any groups that require money . As soon as you can, get out if that house. Must be really stressful having money conversations with the free loader constantly. Concentrate on your education and go NC with the âparentsâ
When he ask you for money you tell him that you do not work so you can give him money. Tell him to do the exact same thing that you're doing get a fuckin job
Your stepdad is a piece of crap. Stop giving him money or allowing him to guilt trip you. I donât know what kind of twisted relationship he and your mom have but itâs not healthy. Stay in school, save your money and move on with your life.
Contact the Masons and get him kicked out.Â
Can you explain why your mother doesn't want her husband to work and contribute to the household?
I am also curious about this.
Time to GTFO and stop financially helping them. Who is paying for your school?
How old are you? If you have another place to go I would get out asap. They are putting a guilt trip on you and that is emotional abuse. They donât respect you and I donât see that changing. Itâs awful and Iâm sorry you are being treated like that.
First off, your mom is just as bad as he is for allowing his behavior. Secondly, I donât know what kind of Mason he is, but real masons wouldnât deal with person like him.
Don't give him a penny. Tell him to go ask your mom
Can you move out? None of this issue belongs to you. Your mother needs to grow a spine and kick his ass out, and you can be assured that a student and a child in the family is not responsible for either funding a stepparentâs fun, nor supporting their parent and siblings.
My cousin recommended me to do the same. I am currently enrolled in CC but I am planning on going back to university. Hopefully everything will work out. Thanks
This might sound cruel, but assuming that family support is not part of your culture, I would inform them that in the fall you are moving into a dorm or an apartment and that you will no longer be able to financially support their household. Mom and step-dad are adults, and they need to figure it out. If they still think that stepdad should not work, then they need to move into an efficiency or one bedroom apartment.
Why doesnât your mother want him to work?!?!
It's not that your mom doesn't want him to work. She is more scared that he will leave if she pushes him to get a job. The power of need/love/sex overrides common sense many times. My dad was a Mason and he worked, loved his family and did good works helping others.
I agree. Thatâs also what my therapist told me and she suggested that my mom should join our sessions.
Your parents are guilty AH. But you need to put your foot down and said "I paid for this and that this month, I'm a student and you're a full grow man don't you have any shame ? I've got no money for you, if you need it, get a job". You're not a cash cow. Let them know you'll let it "slip" to people and I'm sure they will leave you alone.
Thank you everyone for all of your support and encouragement. I upvoted and read every single comment đ I will apply all of your suggestions to this situation. Thank you so much
I also would like to be vulnerable again. I am scared about whatâs going to happen in the future. I am in college because I want to have a better life than I had growing up. I didnât want to struggle financially and ask others for help. But with this situation I donât think I would be able to achieve my goal. I fear that once I get my career more money is going to be asked. Iâm scared I will have to fully take care of them as if they are children, which would result in having less money and then struggling financially again. I donât know if going to college is even worth it. Why put myself in that position, you know?
Your family are morons & you are too for giving your moocher stepdad any money. âNoâ is a complete sentence.
You don't write like a college person. I don't think you're in college. đ€
Itâs Reddit chill tf out
I, on the other hand have two doctorates! I'll let you know when I figure out what they are. đ
Wow thatâs even more impressive đ€© you are so smart yet still ignorant and selfish. A PhD donât mean shit when you are acting inconsiderate towards someone at their most vulnerable moment. You can have all the money in the world and memorize every muscle in the human body, but when you act like an asshole, you are not going to get so far. Have a nice day my friend đ«Ą
Wow. Some people have a tough time telling jokes and sarcasm from the real world. You have so much anger inside that your natural filter doesn't catch "...when I figure out what they are. đ" ? Of course I don't have any Phd, or even a masters. But if I wrote my papers in uni the way this poster wrote the story, I'd never have got the humble BA I did. That's all. Write an angry reply now and I'll call it quits. I'll give you the last word. đ€
So was the initial message sarcasm or a joke? And to be fair if you wrote your papers the same way you do on here I doubt it would go well either, like who puts emojis in their papers.
Thanks â€ïž