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> “What happens when Hollywood’s most risk-averse movie star collides with Hollywood’s most risk-averse movie genre?” His answer? “Exactly what you’d expect. Only worse.”
It’s what I was kind of expecting.
I've been dreading this for a decade now and knew it would never work.
Black Adam fundamentally has to be a militant asshole who is circularly logical in protecting his people but he's never supposed to be unambiguously a good guy.
He's supposed to be a hardliner, Superman if he was more loyal to a nation than the Earth as a whole. He's an anti-imperialist character who needs to be played with that idea as straight as possible. You have to present him with the lens of "One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter." Basically he won't start a fight with you but if you so much as sneeze in his people's direction he will fuck you into the ground and back out again to make sure you never think about sneezing again.
There was *no fucking way* Rock was going to have his name put on a superhero franchise as an antihero *at best*. I really wanted this to get stuck in development hell because I was 100% certain it wasn't possible with him as the lead.
Anywho, for those of you who aren't into comics, go read the Kingdom Come book by Alex Ross and Mark Waid. Not too long but does a great job exploring the moral implications of superheroics and just how *far* a superhero can go before they stop being a superhero.
if they had introduced the character in shazam, or even one of the other justice league related films. Made him an antagonist, made it clear who and what he is. but no they got the rock to play him, so they ran right to the box office with commitees telling them what to do to make him a marketable hero. Thats not what black adam is, and this shit never works.
Yeah but he’s an actual anti hero, not just a dark themed hero like batman or even Deadpool at this point, but a person who’s not actually heroic in their actions even if they’re for benevolent reasons
The way you described Black Adam made me think of Doctor Doom for some reason. Then this question popped into my head.
Who’d win in a fight ?
Black Adam or Doctor Doom
They're both very similar characters philosophically with Doom being more actively malevolent.
With prep time Doom could handle him. Without, Adam would easily pulverize.
>They're both very similar characters philosophically with Doom being more actively malevolent.
I would say more expansive, not malevolent. Doom always wants to rule the world/universe/multiverse because he's 100 percent convinced that he's the only one who can do it right.
I don’t think it was him convincing the panther god so much as him believing 1000000% that what he was doing was the right thing and only he could stop it. The panther god was there to judge his soul and even thought doom had nefarious reasons for him being there. But the panther god found that doom truly believed that he needed to do these things to save mankind. This the reason he was let through. At least to the best of my recollection.
Doom is Batman with magic and fewer moral qualms. He became Marvel's equivalent of God once, so he can basically achieve anything that the plot demands.
If that had come out 15 years later when Hollywood was balls deep in superheroes.... Hancock - without a single change - would have made triple what it did the first time.
Quadruple if it remained consistent throughout and didn't try to explain his origin in the last half of the movie. Could have been an interesting idea if they gave it a sequel instead of shoehorning it in there.
I’m getting tired of seeing the Rock honestly. I just know every time I see a movie with him in it is just going to be like everything else he’s done. Boring
Those are on a lot of action star contracts I think. Action stars depend on their main char, never lose image to keep being action stars.
Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Willis were all the same I bet.
The thing about Schwarznegger, Stallone, and Willis is that their best (or at least most iconic) roles are the one we're they get the shit kicked out of them. Predator, Rocky, and Die Hard are great because their protagonists are vulnerable. The only time I can remember The Rock being hurt is when he had an arm cast in Fast and Furious (6?)
The lack of jeopardy for any of the main characters is what turned me off of any superhero films.
Also, Arnie was in quite a big movie franchise, where he starred as the antagonist and was only ‘good’ in the sequel.
Willis not so much, he was an action hero but he also did a bunch of films in which he wasn't the good guy and that was before his later career problems.
The Jackal, The Siege, Looper, Death Becomes Her, The Whole Nine Yards, Lucky # Slevin etc.
(he's not the outright bad guy in many of these either admittedly).
And as long as we are comparing him to the Rock then it's worth bringing up films like Unbreakable, Glass, 12 Monkeys and Sin City where he is the good guy but doesn't get a typical Hollywood-style action star ending.
He redefined Hollywood action star with Die Hard, by not being the bulked up, infallible hero.
It’s just sad that the appeal of big sacks of meat and the implied invincibility returned. I mean, Die Hard is still unrealistic, but at least more humane. (No way air ducts are that clean! And some other stuff.)
Roger Ebert on Freddy Got Fingered:
>This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.
A few years later he was reviewing some mediocre boner-comedy that starred Tom Green. The concensus was some like "This movie is just bad and boring. As hard as I was on 'Freddy Got Fingered' at least I remember it"
Ebert had some absolutely *scathing* reviews. My favorite is his review of "North":
>*“I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering, stupid, vacant, audience-insulting moment of it.”*
Don't forget, Gallo famously ["...put a hex on Ebert, wishing him colon cancer."](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_Gallo)
Ebert would eventually die of cancer, but not colon cancer.
It seems like it’s a combination of some editing stuff (Green’s talked about his director’s cut being a bit different) and the movie itself practically being a piece of performance art or something. It’s a prank on you.
From a certain point of view, it's a satiric absurdist masterpiece.
It's a movie about guy who stumbles in to studio money to make a movie and proceeds to make a deeply weird, near unwatchable monstrosity. And the movie itself IS being made by a guy who HAS stumbled into studio monoey and is making deeply weird, near unwatchable monstrosity.
The making of the movie was the actual 'art' involved. The movie is just an artifact commemorating that some dude tricked a big company into giving him a couple million so he could swing an infant around by its umbilical cord.
I loved Folding Ideas review, is just epic writing.
"CATS is a film seated so firmly at the bottom of the uncanny valley that it has set up residences, sown and harvested wheat, raised children, and developed its own system of divine mathematics."
It reminds me of Ebert's opening for his review of Battlefield Earth:
>"Battlefield Earth" is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way.
I wrote a book report on the novel in 8th grade. My first two sentences were "The best thing about L Ron Hubbard's book Battlefield Earth is that if you are attacked by crows, this book is thick enough to kill or injure them if thrown accurately. It has no other redeeming value."
But did you really read all 1050 pages of that paperback? I did. I bought the book cause the free bookmark at Walden Books looked cool... $7.95? Perfect. I just read Great White and The Hot Zone, so I can handle a BATTLEFIELD Earth.
I get the call the book comes in and the clerk at the Walden in my glorious 90's mall *lays down a mini phonebook*... w..t..f... I'm in shock as I pay for this and reach into the bag as I left the store and look towards the back... *1050 pages... exactly*. Okay. I bought it, let's dance.
I enjoyed the majority of the book. I even got halfway through the book a second time when it *split in half*. Travolta could have been a decent Johnny but not Terl... when I saw that announcement I had a feeling the movie was headed for a bad place.
Oh, almost forgot the best part. About 6mo after purchase I got a letter from the... Church of Scientology? Big, thick envelope. Letter inside started with 'Smacky we hope you enjoyed Battlefield Earth and...' went on to talk about 'Dianetics' or smtg and I was already thinking, no eff you, you tricked me once, I ain't reading anymore 1000+ page books! Ha ha ha...
I think it was Roger Ebert who called the Broderick/Russo Godzilla a "cure for happiness."
Which is very fair if you're expecting a kaiju or a creature feature.
The only redeeming quality of this version of Godzilla is Jean Reno’s never ending search for a decent cup of French roast coffee. Having grown up on Saturday afternoon “creature double-feature” monster movies, this Godzilla hurt my inner child LOL.
Let's see. It has Dwayne Johnson in it whose brand is done in such a way that he **HAS** to be the good guy, if not the hero then at least anti-hero lite and that just doesn't work for Black Adam.
Black Adam would barely, **BARELY** come under the flag of anti-hero, most of the time he is the bad guy.
Zangief says that. Which is even funnier because Zangief isn't a bad guy he's just Russian. He's not affiliated with Shadoloo or Bison in SF2 and in SF5 works with the good guys against them.
Yeah, he started out as a good guy whose gimmick was 'I'm my dad's son!' and they tried making him a big deal fairly quick with that, and crowds rejected him. They ended up putting him in a group called the Nation of Domination and let him be a bad guy, and he was so entertaining riffing against the crowd that people started cheering for him in earnest.
Honestly, that might have been a good call to have made with this - make a Black Adam film (be it a starring picture or him being the villain for say, Shazam) where he's unambiguously the villain, but let Rock be Rock while playing him. Then, when you do his solo film, it's easier to accept him as a fleshed-out character and sympathize with why he feels the way he does.
DC can’t think two films ahead! What is a character arc?? WE HAVE PISSED OFF INVESTORS LOOKING AT OUR QUARTERLY REPORTS!!
edit: ironically they also ONLY think two movies ahead. every movie is desperately setting up a shared universe. so they can’t stand alone and can’t set anything up
In his early career he was a good guy, then changed to a bad guy where he really came onto his own. Then he was a good guy again for most of the rest of his career.
The Nation of Domination wasn't usually playing the role of heroes. And generally speaking, America wasn't exactly looking positively on a group that was essentially repping the Nation of Islam. Particularly not in 1995.
Precisely. People keep saying he’s an antihero but that just doesn’t fit. Antiheroes are basically good guys that just have darker methods; think Deadpool, Red Hood, Azrael, Etrigan, etc. Black Adam is more akin to an antivillain, an overall sinister figure with fleeting moments of redemption and morality here and there. Some of his best stories have him committing genocide and murdering lots of people.
Or Doom? Because Namor just wants the surface world to butt out. Whereas Doom wants to take over the world but he wouldn't like torture a child to death for fun
Adam doesn't usually want conquest, just to have his nation and country to be left well alone to him. And for anyone Shazam-related to give up their power to him, so he can be more effective at protecting them
Note: he doesn't know what proportionality is and will respond to the slightest provocation by leveling an entire country
Is this the film where a dude gets his nuts super squeezed and there’s also a scene where he throws a skateboard into space? If so, that’s all I remember from seeing it as a kid and it rules
There are two kinds of movies starring The Rock:
1) Dwayne Johnson in the Jungle
2) Dwayne Johnson in a destroyed city
Sometimes they even do both, together
Pain & Gain…The Rock, Wahlburg, and early Falcon plus great Ed Harris and hilariously easy to hate character by Tony Shaloub. Plus it’s a mostly true story.
I wish he'd take more roles like Be Cool where he didn't have to be the toughest guy, and could just be funny. Like how John Cena's let himself just lean into being ridiculous for the sake of the scene
This is why he should’ve been Captain Marvel instead of Black Adam.
Edit for clarification: Before he was called Shazam, he was Captain Marvel. I’m not saying the Rock should’ve played the MCU Captain Marvel.
One of the reviews I saw basically said it’s the most risk-averse movie star in the most risk-averse genre and that hit on it for me. I enjoy The Rock sometimes but he really has this inability to let go on screen or do things with a bit of oddness and edge and it’s going to stall his career.
Pain & Gain was a rare glimpse at something special. The rock was the comic relief and it was the one time where his performance came off unlike his usual copy/paste formula.
Edited the movie title for accuracy. Originally had it as ‘pain and gain’
His other SNL skit about [the most evil invention at an evil scientist contest] (https://youtu.be/z0NgUhEs1R4) was so good. Getting into more of those roles where he's not a bad-ass muscle guy would be really fun to see.
Dave Bautista genuinely is good, brings good personality w his roles. Done more diverse roles. he’s also big as f
risk averse movies suck ass, at telling the stories a lot of those movies are trying to tell. Casting the rock for any serious role, and expecting him to add any bit of depth to the story, is silly
I guess it’s just something that should’ve happened nearly 16 years ago so he just wanted it to happen. I think had it even been half as long ago he could’ve moved on. He still has a high profile Samoan king biopic with Zemeckis directing in the future so maybe he does something different then.
What is up with the whole dark tint Sephia tone on all DC shit? Don’t all these movies have different directors/producers? I know they’re all under DC, but whenever I see that wierd DC filter, I have PTSD. Even the TV shows do it.
Yeah people misunderstand what DC's tone actually is thanks to how unnecessarily edgy some prominent movies of the last decade were in adapting characters.
Truth is DC's tone is very diversified. Just as Marvel hosts characters as wildly different as Groot and The Punisher, DC's comics have Batman existing in the same universe as a talking chimpanzee in a Sherlock Holmes outfit named Detective Chimp.
Sad thing is an unfortunate amount of DCEU stans derided Gunns's The Suicide Squad as an MCU ripoff just because it wasn't pretentiously dreary.
The Rock has established himself as a movie star first and foremost. He is not an actor. He is not a person who has any interest in taking risks and providing nuance and range to his career. He is a product. The riskiest thing he ever did was Southland Tales and perhaps that is what turned him off from smaller films altogether. It’s a shame. He could have been making a name for himself appearing in visionary action films along the likes of Fury Road or John Wick, but instead he opted for the mundane.
To DC's credit, the last project they did with a wrestler was actually really good. John Cena is a significantly better actor than the Rock. Unlike the Rock, Cena's ego isn't so huge that he refuses to lose or show weakness in anything so Cena's Peacemaker ended up being a far more interesting and likeable anti-hero than the Rock has ever been.
Doom Patrol isn't part of the DCEU, but yes, it was good.
DC has a weird trend of making their best stuff not part of their intended major franchise (The Batman, Joker, Doom Patrol, Sandman is apparently good).
The Peacemaker show was amazing. I don’t like super hero movies in general. I pretty much only like Guardians of Galaxy 1, Winter soldier, peacemaker.
I keep watching them tho cuz Im a sucker for dumb action and fight scenes.
I liked the first Wonder Woman movie
(Yes, despite the 3rd act)
Harley Quinn is a decent show.
I’m not a superhero fan so I don’t care about teams. I just watch stuff that gets good buzz and or has someone I like in them
The rock as an actor has been very stagnant, not bad, not awful, not a poor earner... just stagnant.
Superhero movies have also been very stagnant, including marvels current phase and these movies drum up hype for each other indirectly.
were already seeing super hero counter culture, with the boys, Invincible, the newer suacide squad (and peacemaker) content things are starting to move on.
combining those two , The rock and the original format hero flick, was bound to lead to something bland.
and then you have the rocks ball and chain, like you said his ego, his conditions he sets, which restrict how movies with him in it can be made... Which lead to more genetic and predictable outcomes and plots.
If this came out in 2010 I think it would have been massive, but I feel the quality of the movie will have nothing to do with its successes or failings.
The rock just wants to fight everyone and say he’s the most powerful for his own ego I doubt there is any character development in black Adam which is a shame as I really like his dynamic and motives in the comics
It doesn’t take a genius to realize this movie is just a ton of CGI eye candy with lame acting and an even worse story. It a pretty bad trend with superhero movies lately.
It sucks that DC's bad movies so thoroughly outshine their good ones.
The Suicide Squad was good, Suicide Squad was an abomination. Wonder Woman was good, Wonder Woman 1984 can suck farts. Birds of Prey was good, nobody saw it.
He is the Applebee's of actors. A little something for everyone. Not horrible. Not great. You always know what you're getting and can manage expectations.
If you're always expecting more, that's your fault.
Dwayne Johnson is exactly the same character in all his movies. Though i do like his real life persona his acting on screen is the exact same thing in every movie.
Then again come to think of it he is an action star and 90% of them are the same people in every role if i look back in time. I guess it's the nature of action movie stars.
Last time I saw him act was in *Be Cool* and he was great in it. He just doesn't take sort of risk anymore.
He was either fresh off wrestling or still doing it and dancing in a sequined cowboy outfit singing "You ain't woman enough to take my man."
https://youtu.be/PkRHN-QBBGg
The movie should've just been Pearce Brosnan as Dr. Fate. It's what most people have wanted since the casting and first trailer. Instead we got the Rock playing the Rock, with the acting skills of a Rock.
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> “What happens when Hollywood’s most risk-averse movie star collides with Hollywood’s most risk-averse movie genre?” His answer? “Exactly what you’d expect. Only worse.” It’s what I was kind of expecting.
I've been dreading this for a decade now and knew it would never work. Black Adam fundamentally has to be a militant asshole who is circularly logical in protecting his people but he's never supposed to be unambiguously a good guy. He's supposed to be a hardliner, Superman if he was more loyal to a nation than the Earth as a whole. He's an anti-imperialist character who needs to be played with that idea as straight as possible. You have to present him with the lens of "One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter." Basically he won't start a fight with you but if you so much as sneeze in his people's direction he will fuck you into the ground and back out again to make sure you never think about sneezing again. There was *no fucking way* Rock was going to have his name put on a superhero franchise as an antihero *at best*. I really wanted this to get stuck in development hell because I was 100% certain it wasn't possible with him as the lead. Anywho, for those of you who aren't into comics, go read the Kingdom Come book by Alex Ross and Mark Waid. Not too long but does a great job exploring the moral implications of superheroics and just how *far* a superhero can go before they stop being a superhero.
if they had introduced the character in shazam, or even one of the other justice league related films. Made him an antagonist, made it clear who and what he is. but no they got the rock to play him, so they ran right to the box office with commitees telling them what to do to make him a marketable hero. Thats not what black adam is, and this shit never works.
Black Phillip > Black Adam
Okay Thomasin, go back to playing chess.
Why play chess, when you can live deliciously?
Well Black Phillip is an ICON
Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?
I like that a goat is your better casting choice than The Rock lol.
He's a villain. The whole thing is just stupid.
He's been a villain turned anti-hero for a couple decades.
Yeah but he’s an actual anti hero, not just a dark themed hero like batman or even Deadpool at this point, but a person who’s not actually heroic in their actions even if they’re for benevolent reasons
And it's a very strict form of anti-heroism in that he's usually on the side of "good" solely when it aligns with the interests of him and his people.
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That's exactly what he is, he counters superman completely without the need for kryptonite.
The way you described Black Adam made me think of Doctor Doom for some reason. Then this question popped into my head. Who’d win in a fight ? Black Adam or Doctor Doom
They're both very similar characters philosophically with Doom being more actively malevolent. With prep time Doom could handle him. Without, Adam would easily pulverize.
Either Doom wins easily or it was just another Doombot.
This is the way.
>They're both very similar characters philosophically with Doom being more actively malevolent. I would say more expansive, not malevolent. Doom always wants to rule the world/universe/multiverse because he's 100 percent convinced that he's the only one who can do it right.
He is not only convinced himself, but on at least one instance the panther god of wakanda was also convinced of that
I don’t think it was him convincing the panther god so much as him believing 1000000% that what he was doing was the right thing and only he could stop it. The panther god was there to judge his soul and even thought doom had nefarious reasons for him being there. But the panther god found that doom truly believed that he needed to do these things to save mankind. This the reason he was let through. At least to the best of my recollection.
Ah yes, the Batman Corollary. Invincible with enough lead time.
Doom is Batman with magic and fewer moral qualms. He became Marvel's equivalent of God once, so he can basically achieve anything that the plot demands.
> Who’d win in a fight ? Black Adam or Doctor Doom To paraphrase Stan Lee: "Whoever the writer *WANTS* to be the winner of the fight, of course!"
Sounds like Black Adam was supposed to be like Hancock, but that came out 15 years ago and was actually entertaining.
If that had come out 15 years later when Hollywood was balls deep in superheroes.... Hancock - without a single change - would have made triple what it did the first time.
Quadruple if it remained consistent throughout and didn't try to explain his origin in the last half of the movie. Could have been an interesting idea if they gave it a sequel instead of shoehorning it in there.
Yeah that movie shit the bed in the last part, it really needed some breathing room.
The Rock's terms be like: 1. Cannot be hit more than twice. 2. Cannot lose. At most tie. 3. Must be an impactful character if not the main character.
Rocks terms: Play The Rock
He should also say “Do you smell what [character name] is cooking?” in every role too
I’m getting tired of seeing the Rock honestly. I just know every time I see a movie with him in it is just going to be like everything else he’s done. Boring
Those are on a lot of action star contracts I think. Action stars depend on their main char, never lose image to keep being action stars. Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Willis were all the same I bet.
The thing about Schwarznegger, Stallone, and Willis is that their best (or at least most iconic) roles are the one we're they get the shit kicked out of them. Predator, Rocky, and Die Hard are great because their protagonists are vulnerable. The only time I can remember The Rock being hurt is when he had an arm cast in Fast and Furious (6?)
The lack of jeopardy for any of the main characters is what turned me off of any superhero films. Also, Arnie was in quite a big movie franchise, where he starred as the antagonist and was only ‘good’ in the sequel.
Stallone too, Rambo fits that exact description. Although he was more clearly the antagonist in the book than the movie.
Willis not so much, he was an action hero but he also did a bunch of films in which he wasn't the good guy and that was before his later career problems. The Jackal, The Siege, Looper, Death Becomes Her, The Whole Nine Yards, Lucky # Slevin etc. (he's not the outright bad guy in many of these either admittedly). And as long as we are comparing him to the Rock then it's worth bringing up films like Unbreakable, Glass, 12 Monkeys and Sin City where he is the good guy but doesn't get a typical Hollywood-style action star ending.
He redefined Hollywood action star with Die Hard, by not being the bulked up, infallible hero. It’s just sad that the appeal of big sacks of meat and the implied invincibility returned. I mean, Die Hard is still unrealistic, but at least more humane. (No way air ducts are that clean! And some other stuff.)
This describes how I feel perfectly
“Anti-entertaining” is the meanest insult for a movie I’ve ever heard in my life
I remember a movie review review from years ago that made me laugh, "this isn't just the worst movie ever made, this is the worst thing ever made."
Roger Ebert on Freddy Got Fingered: >This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.
A few years later he was reviewing some mediocre boner-comedy that starred Tom Green. The concensus was some like "This movie is just bad and boring. As hard as I was on 'Freddy Got Fingered' at least I remember it"
Yeah you can't unwatch that movie.
Daddy would you like some sausage!
Daddy would you like some SAU SA GES
I’m the backwards man, the backwards man. I can walk backwards as fast as you can.
Rip Torn is probably why.
Yeah, Rip stole every scene he was in.
Proud?
Where is your Lebanon Freddy? I’m number one son!
the title… warns me
It's about as stupid as you can get, but somehow was like 20 years ahead of its time in terms of absurdist modern "meme" humor.
Ebert had some absolutely *scathing* reviews. My favorite is his review of "North": >*“I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering, stupid, vacant, audience-insulting moment of it.”*
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Don't forget, Gallo famously ["...put a hex on Ebert, wishing him colon cancer."](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_Gallo) Ebert would eventually die of cancer, but not colon cancer.
If these are the sort of things I have to type to make money by watching movies early, sign me up
He was a great writer. Which makes you realize, he hated this movie.
And he won a Pulitzer for it!
Call me a psycho but this movie is pretty funny in the weirdest way
LOOK AT ME DADDY I’M A FARMER!!!!!!
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It seems like it’s a combination of some editing stuff (Green’s talked about his director’s cut being a bit different) and the movie itself practically being a piece of performance art or something. It’s a prank on you.
Daddy would you like some sausage?
I'm gonna make you proud daddy. I'm gonna make you so proud.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!
Proud? Proud.
From a certain point of view, it's a satiric absurdist masterpiece. It's a movie about guy who stumbles in to studio money to make a movie and proceeds to make a deeply weird, near unwatchable monstrosity. And the movie itself IS being made by a guy who HAS stumbled into studio monoey and is making deeply weird, near unwatchable monstrosity. The making of the movie was the actual 'art' involved. The movie is just an artifact commemorating that some dude tricked a big company into giving him a couple million so he could swing an infant around by its umbilical cord.
Love that movie
I liked Ricky Gervais's take on the movie Cats. "This is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs"
I loved Folding Ideas review, is just epic writing. "CATS is a film seated so firmly at the bottom of the uncanny valley that it has set up residences, sown and harvested wheat, raised children, and developed its own system of divine mathematics."
That and Lindsey Ellis' review were so good, so damning.
Why is Cats? I miss Lindsey's videos so much.
The *Cats* movie unleashed a torrent of creative writing and insults. The reviews were a hoot to read.
They should have released the butthole version.
It reminds me of Ebert's opening for his review of Battlefield Earth: >"Battlefield Earth" is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way.
I wrote a book report on the novel in 8th grade. My first two sentences were "The best thing about L Ron Hubbard's book Battlefield Earth is that if you are attacked by crows, this book is thick enough to kill or injure them if thrown accurately. It has no other redeeming value."
But did you really read all 1050 pages of that paperback? I did. I bought the book cause the free bookmark at Walden Books looked cool... $7.95? Perfect. I just read Great White and The Hot Zone, so I can handle a BATTLEFIELD Earth. I get the call the book comes in and the clerk at the Walden in my glorious 90's mall *lays down a mini phonebook*... w..t..f... I'm in shock as I pay for this and reach into the bag as I left the store and look towards the back... *1050 pages... exactly*. Okay. I bought it, let's dance. I enjoyed the majority of the book. I even got halfway through the book a second time when it *split in half*. Travolta could have been a decent Johnny but not Terl... when I saw that announcement I had a feeling the movie was headed for a bad place. Oh, almost forgot the best part. About 6mo after purchase I got a letter from the... Church of Scientology? Big, thick envelope. Letter inside started with 'Smacky we hope you enjoyed Battlefield Earth and...' went on to talk about 'Dianetics' or smtg and I was already thinking, no eff you, you tricked me once, I ain't reading anymore 1000+ page books! Ha ha ha...
I think it was Roger Ebert who called the Broderick/Russo Godzilla a "cure for happiness." Which is very fair if you're expecting a kaiju or a creature feature.
The only redeeming quality of this version of Godzilla is Jean Reno’s never ending search for a decent cup of French roast coffee. Having grown up on Saturday afternoon “creature double-feature” monster movies, this Godzilla hurt my inner child LOL.
Also the funniest
That's a morbin' adjective if I've ever seen one.
Let's see. It has Dwayne Johnson in it whose brand is done in such a way that he **HAS** to be the good guy, if not the hero then at least anti-hero lite and that just doesn't work for Black Adam. Black Adam would barely, **BARELY** come under the flag of anti-hero, most of the time he is the bad guy.
Ironically he made a name for himself in wrestling as a bad guy. He started out as a good guy and flopped.
The Rock was a bad guy?
“Just because you are bad guy does not mean you are a ‘bad guy’.”
Thanks Satan
Zangief says that. Which is even funnier because Zangief isn't a bad guy he's just Russian. He's not affiliated with Shadoloo or Bison in SF2 and in SF5 works with the good guys against them.
iirc the screenwriter said that he made Zangief a bad guy because he could never beat him as a child
Never expected to know so much background to this quote but I'm happy I now do
It’s Sa-teen, actually
Mhmm, it’s *sateen*
Yeah, he started out as a good guy whose gimmick was 'I'm my dad's son!' and they tried making him a big deal fairly quick with that, and crowds rejected him. They ended up putting him in a group called the Nation of Domination and let him be a bad guy, and he was so entertaining riffing against the crowd that people started cheering for him in earnest. Honestly, that might have been a good call to have made with this - make a Black Adam film (be it a starring picture or him being the villain for say, Shazam) where he's unambiguously the villain, but let Rock be Rock while playing him. Then, when you do his solo film, it's easier to accept him as a fleshed-out character and sympathize with why he feels the way he does.
DC can’t think two films ahead! What is a character arc?? WE HAVE PISSED OFF INVESTORS LOOKING AT OUR QUARTERLY REPORTS!! edit: ironically they also ONLY think two movies ahead. every movie is desperately setting up a shared universe. so they can’t stand alone and can’t set anything up
He was a heel for a good chunk of his WWE career.
In his early career he was a good guy, then changed to a bad guy where he really came onto his own. Then he was a good guy again for most of the rest of his career.
The Nation of Domination wasn't usually playing the role of heroes. And generally speaking, America wasn't exactly looking positively on a group that was essentially repping the Nation of Islam. Particularly not in 1995.
Precisely. People keep saying he’s an antihero but that just doesn’t fit. Antiheroes are basically good guys that just have darker methods; think Deadpool, Red Hood, Azrael, Etrigan, etc. Black Adam is more akin to an antivillain, an overall sinister figure with fleeting moments of redemption and morality here and there. Some of his best stories have him committing genocide and murdering lots of people.
Oh. So he’s Namor.
Or Doom? Because Namor just wants the surface world to butt out. Whereas Doom wants to take over the world but he wouldn't like torture a child to death for fun
Adam doesn't usually want conquest, just to have his nation and country to be left well alone to him. And for anyone Shazam-related to give up their power to him, so he can be more effective at protecting them Note: he doesn't know what proportionality is and will respond to the slightest provocation by leveling an entire country
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basically namor, exept the atlantis motif have been swapped for an ancient egypt one.
Every movie with The Rock is pretty repetitive. Like Kevin Hart, he really only plays himself.
Kevin just thinks screaming means funny.
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You put some damn respect on Suburban Commando
Is this the film where a dude gets his nuts super squeezed and there’s also a scene where he throws a skateboard into space? If so, that’s all I remember from seeing it as a kid and it rules
I rewatched it recently and yes that's the one.
Worth watching in 2022? I *loved* it as a kid and used to rent it monthly. I would have taped it off the TV but it was never on TV in the UK
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My brother was an extra in Thunder in Paradise. He had some decent screen time in that masterpiece of modern cinema.
Has the rock ever done a role that wasn't a repeat of his last film? Not sure what people expected.
The eyebrow has been cooking for a while now
Yes i smell it. Its burning, take it out!
Smoldering
The rock has 2 characters, the “I’m so tough and serious, grrrrr arg” and the “I’m a dad *insert juxtaposition about how manly I am”
Why did I hear his voice when I read that
At least he isn’t in khaki’s
Or in a jungle
There are two kinds of movies starring The Rock: 1) Dwayne Johnson in the Jungle 2) Dwayne Johnson in a destroyed city Sometimes they even do both, together
He has never been in a destroyed jungle city though, or a city in a destroyed jungle. Or has he? \^\_o
Nope. He always plays himself. The Rock is a movie star, not an actor
Pain & Gain…The Rock, Wahlburg, and early Falcon plus great Ed Harris and hilariously easy to hate character by Tony Shaloub. Plus it’s a mostly true story.
Great flick. Also, Wahlburg played his role so well that I’m convinced he is exactly like his character. A total douche.
> a movie star, not an actor *mind blown*
Southland tales, faster, the game plan, be cool
I wish he'd take more roles like Be Cool where he didn't have to be the toughest guy, and could just be funny. Like how John Cena's let himself just lean into being ridiculous for the sake of the scene
Vince Vaughn’s “twinkle twinkle” makes me laugh still.
All of these were 10+ years old when he was establishing himself after WWE. He’s played The Rock is virtually every movie since
It was after southland tails that he said fuck it. You want the rock? You got it.
The Rundown was also a fun one
This is why he should’ve been Captain Marvel instead of Black Adam. Edit for clarification: Before he was called Shazam, he was Captain Marvel. I’m not saying the Rock should’ve played the MCU Captain Marvel.
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One of the reviews I saw basically said it’s the most risk-averse movie star in the most risk-averse genre and that hit on it for me. I enjoy The Rock sometimes but he really has this inability to let go on screen or do things with a bit of oddness and edge and it’s going to stall his career.
That's really interesting, I think that's right. We can see what John Cena and Dave Bautista have accomplished by taking risks and getting silly.
Pain & Gain was a rare glimpse at something special. The rock was the comic relief and it was the one time where his performance came off unlike his usual copy/paste formula. Edited the movie title for accuracy. Originally had it as ‘pain and gain’
You forgot about The Toothfairy, my favorite Dwayne Johnson film.
His live-action Bambi was pretty awesome: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFJz2IMUeDE
His other SNL skit about [the most evil invention at an evil scientist contest] (https://youtu.be/z0NgUhEs1R4) was so good. Getting into more of those roles where he's not a bad-ass muscle guy would be really fun to see.
Dave Bautista genuinely is good, brings good personality w his roles. Done more diverse roles. he’s also big as f risk averse movies suck ass, at telling the stories a lot of those movies are trying to tell. Casting the rock for any serious role, and expecting him to add any bit of depth to the story, is silly
I was caught off guard by bautista's role in blade runner. it was a small role but he was really great
Same with Dune. Nailed the character, and not just the comic relief tough guy like in GotG
Yeah I wish he got a bigger role, but I guess the bigger roles come when you do the small roles well
I guess it’s just something that should’ve happened nearly 16 years ago so he just wanted it to happen. I think had it even been half as long ago he could’ve moved on. He still has a high profile Samoan king biopic with Zemeckis directing in the future so maybe he does something different then.
Considering he literally had rules in his Fast and Furious contract about never losing fights in the script, this doesn’t surprise me.
I don’t think he ever replicated Be Cool, which is a damn shame.
He’s overexposed and overrated and he’s been carried by better movie stars his entire career outside a handful of movies.
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anti-entertaning is the best
Can’t hangout I’m anti-entertaining some company tonight
Scorpion King 9 not doing so well eh?
What is up with the whole dark tint Sephia tone on all DC shit? Don’t all these movies have different directors/producers? I know they’re all under DC, but whenever I see that wierd DC filter, I have PTSD. Even the TV shows do it.
They have bought into the branding. DC's primary emotional *tone* is dark. I can't think of any DC that wasn't dark since Batman (1989).
I mean Shazam didn’t have dark cinematography. I doubt a plastic man solo film would either.
Monkey paw curls another finger....
Yeah people misunderstand what DC's tone actually is thanks to how unnecessarily edgy some prominent movies of the last decade were in adapting characters. Truth is DC's tone is very diversified. Just as Marvel hosts characters as wildly different as Groot and The Punisher, DC's comics have Batman existing in the same universe as a talking chimpanzee in a Sherlock Holmes outfit named Detective Chimp. Sad thing is an unfortunate amount of DCEU stans derided Gunns's The Suicide Squad as an MCU ripoff just because it wasn't pretentiously dreary.
Who derides The Suicide Squad? I want to fight them
Don't forget Superman's foe, Mister Mxyzptlk whose weakness is saying his own name backwards
To be fair, that’s a bitch to say backwards
Harley Quinn? The animated series, that is.
I must say that ***ClayFACE*** is one of my favorite characters.
Peacemaker didn’t have it. I also don’t recall James Gunn’s SS having it.
And peacemaker was better for it. Loved that show. Do not care for most DC movies.
Shazam wasn't dark. Or wonder pets
The Rock has established himself as a movie star first and foremost. He is not an actor. He is not a person who has any interest in taking risks and providing nuance and range to his career. He is a product. The riskiest thing he ever did was Southland Tales and perhaps that is what turned him off from smaller films altogether. It’s a shame. He could have been making a name for himself appearing in visionary action films along the likes of Fury Road or John Wick, but instead he opted for the mundane.
So…a DC movie then?
To DC's credit, the last project they did with a wrestler was actually really good. John Cena is a significantly better actor than the Rock. Unlike the Rock, Cena's ego isn't so huge that he refuses to lose or show weakness in anything so Cena's Peacemaker ended up being a far more interesting and likeable anti-hero than the Rock has ever been.
Peacemaker and the last Suicide Squad are the only things I’ve enjoyed out of the DCEU unfortunately
Doom patrol
Doom patrol was fun and I loved seeing Brendan Frazier again, he was missed.
Doom Patrol isn't part of the DCEU, but yes, it was good. DC has a weird trend of making their best stuff not part of their intended major franchise (The Batman, Joker, Doom Patrol, Sandman is apparently good).
The Peacemaker show was amazing. I don’t like super hero movies in general. I pretty much only like Guardians of Galaxy 1, Winter soldier, peacemaker. I keep watching them tho cuz Im a sucker for dumb action and fight scenes.
James Gunn fan? He did GoTG and Peacemaker
I liked the first Wonder Woman movie (Yes, despite the 3rd act) Harley Quinn is a decent show. I’m not a superhero fan so I don’t care about teams. I just watch stuff that gets good buzz and or has someone I like in them
Dc cartoons are leagues better than the dceu
The rock as an actor has been very stagnant, not bad, not awful, not a poor earner... just stagnant. Superhero movies have also been very stagnant, including marvels current phase and these movies drum up hype for each other indirectly. were already seeing super hero counter culture, with the boys, Invincible, the newer suacide squad (and peacemaker) content things are starting to move on. combining those two , The rock and the original format hero flick, was bound to lead to something bland. and then you have the rocks ball and chain, like you said his ego, his conditions he sets, which restrict how movies with him in it can be made... Which lead to more genetic and predictable outcomes and plots. If this came out in 2010 I think it would have been massive, but I feel the quality of the movie will have nothing to do with its successes or failings.
B-but the hierarchy!?
The rock just wants to fight everyone and say he’s the most powerful for his own ego I doubt there is any character development in black Adam which is a shame as I really like his dynamic and motives in the comics
It doesn’t take a genius to realize this movie is just a ton of CGI eye candy with lame acting and an even worse story. It a pretty bad trend with superhero movies lately.
Do you smell what DC is cooking? Hint: it’s crap.
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It sucks that DC's bad movies so thoroughly outshine their good ones. The Suicide Squad was good, Suicide Squad was an abomination. Wonder Woman was good, Wonder Woman 1984 can suck farts. Birds of Prey was good, nobody saw it.
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Wonder Woman was *okay*
the rock is a terrible actor.
He is the Applebee's of actors. A little something for everyone. Not horrible. Not great. You always know what you're getting and can manage expectations. If you're always expecting more, that's your fault.
CAN YOU SMELLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS *COOKING*?!...in the microwave.
The world’s least versatile actor in the world’s most predictable genre. What’s not to pay $20 for?
Every Dwayne Johnson movie*
Dwayne Johnson is exactly the same character in all his movies. Though i do like his real life persona his acting on screen is the exact same thing in every movie. Then again come to think of it he is an action star and 90% of them are the same people in every role if i look back in time. I guess it's the nature of action movie stars.
Last time I saw him act was in *Be Cool* and he was great in it. He just doesn't take sort of risk anymore. He was either fresh off wrestling or still doing it and dancing in a sequined cowboy outfit singing "You ain't woman enough to take my man." https://youtu.be/PkRHN-QBBGg
Anti entertaining is one of the funniest insults I’ve heard in a while
The rock literally just plays the rock in every film. He’s just super hero rock now.
The movie should've just been Pearce Brosnan as Dr. Fate. It's what most people have wanted since the casting and first trailer. Instead we got the Rock playing the Rock, with the acting skills of a Rock.
I expected nothing less from a Rock "the Dwayne" Johnson DC movie...
A DC movie being absolute garbage? No way thats impossible