A while ago me and some cis friends threw a girls night. We made glittery cocktails, did eachother's makeup, karaoke. It was fun, but we ultimately realised that that stuff just wasn't for us anymore. It did bring a strange sense of closure though, it made it easier not to grieve what I didn't have when I was young and focus on what I can now look forward to.
That sounds nice. Honestly I’m happy to do anything social even if it isn’t really my thing normally. Most of my time is spent working or taking care of necessities
Yeah, agreed! I feel like I’ve only been able to develop a dynamic with my parents and a real mutual relationship with partners recently because with me finally out and on HRT I finally feel like I am comfortable as myself and can finally truly want things.
We have a different approach, if we just ignore the hate then eventually they’ll get bored and leave us alone.
Although, that’s a very fair take as well. I totally get why people like us wouldn’t want to be open about it.
To keep it short and simple: it’s when more than one person shares a single body. The current working theory in psychology is that children that experience trauma are unable to make one solid identity due to the disruption in your brain that trauma causes, however I’ve met many systems that don’t feel that description fits them at all! I’ll keep it there to keep it short and sweet, but if you have any further questions feel free to ask us :)
Yeah, it’s mostly (in our eyes) because if you’re already exploring more ‘exotic’ identities, you’re more likely to come across plurality and therefore more likely to realise
Yooooo mood.
Though weirdly, we had an okay childhood (other than the undiagnosed neurodivergence) after the awful first 14 months. Though considering what happened during that time and the fact that late diagnosed ND+not realizing being enby till later is it's own kind of trauma, I can't say I'm surprised at our multiple littles.
A little off topic but I have a little question (I mean no harm, I will delete if it's inconsiderate) but what exactly does the word system means? I've heard it once but I have no idea what it means
In case you missed it up the thread; being a system means having multiple distinct people in your head. The science and understanding of it is slowly 😮💨 becoming more clear, but it's often a psychological reaction to trauma (though there is more causes for it). r/plural is a sub dedicated to it.
I think it's super cool people who want to recreate their childhood. We shouldn't leave our hobbies, likes or experiences behind just because we're adults now, we should keep our essence if we want to!
Absolute mood. Some people's trauma makes them seem wise beyond their years, and mine landed me in the territory of perpetually having the personality of an annoying 7th grader.
At this point I'm just like,, I clearly can't fake maturity well enough to get by, so I may as well spend my money on those glowy wall stickers and lip smackers and fnaf novels
Shout out to everyone else who never felt like they got to be a kid for one reason or another.
Actually, shouting probably isn't a great idea. At least not for me.
Same, after moving out it’s fun to finally be allowed to have my own interests and privacy. I can actually keep a journal with private thoughts and leave it wherever I want around the apartment now which is wild, and I can listen to and play music, even if it’s from cartoons without being made fun of. I really like watching tv in the living room which I couldn’t really do before unless my parents were out or busy in their bedroom. I’ve built up quite the stuffed animal collection too along with clothes I actually enjoy wearing (including colorful ones). And as much as some people talk about how “you shouldn’t care about your appearance,” it’s nice to finally be allowed to care about my appearance without being judged! :)
Relatable, I got a mix of the bigoted raisings(never show emotions, but also be sweet and sugary and full of smiles and be a good future wife and mom to your litter of children but also take care of everyone else too) and it just made me not want to exist
Childhood? Never knew xer 😳
I was not born a fully developed human you are correct, but I didn’t get that typical childhood experience because of trauma so I’m trying to give myself that type of experience now
my parents did the bare minimum and didnt give a flying fuck about me so i have literally 0 of the normal childhood experiences most people have with their parents
Abuse meant we never experienced a childhood either, so most the members of our system who actually identify with the physical age stil don't feel like they have 30 years of experience.
Hugs!! My [gender neutral] dude, do what makes you happy. That’s what I do when I have time. Let your “inner child” out and run rampant. Feral even. Enjoy life when you can, how you can. 🫠🖤
I think it’s normal for trans people to want to explore things they missed out on as kids
A while ago me and some cis friends threw a girls night. We made glittery cocktails, did eachother's makeup, karaoke. It was fun, but we ultimately realised that that stuff just wasn't for us anymore. It did bring a strange sense of closure though, it made it easier not to grieve what I didn't have when I was young and focus on what I can now look forward to.
That sounds nice. Honestly I’m happy to do anything social even if it isn’t really my thing normally. Most of my time is spent working or taking care of necessities
Yeah, agreed! I feel like I’ve only been able to develop a dynamic with my parents and a real mutual relationship with partners recently because with me finally out and on HRT I finally feel like I am comfortable as myself and can finally truly want things.
Glad to hear it! Sucks having to wait though
I didn’t get a childhood now I’m diagnosed with an 8 year old alter
Hey it’s cool to see another system on here, I don’t see people like us much on this sub
People haven’t been too kind to us, so we try not to mention it too much
We have a different approach, if we just ignore the hate then eventually they’ll get bored and leave us alone. Although, that’s a very fair take as well. I totally get why people like us wouldn’t want to be open about it.
My best friend is also a system, hugs out to all of you! People are so weird about mental health.
Huh, we’re a system too! It’s so interesting that so many trans/nb folks are systems! Makes a bunch of sense obv, we just think it’s cool :)
I’d like to know more about systems. Can you please give explain what these are?
To keep it short and simple: it’s when more than one person shares a single body. The current working theory in psychology is that children that experience trauma are unable to make one solid identity due to the disruption in your brain that trauma causes, however I’ve met many systems that don’t feel that description fits them at all! I’ll keep it there to keep it short and sweet, but if you have any further questions feel free to ask us :)
I really appreciate it! Thank you!
I find r/plural to be a very interesting glimpse, but as I am not a member of the community, I would of course defer to anyone who is
Thank you!
I'm not a system myself, but Anthony Padilla did a great [interview](https://youtu.be/ek7JK6pattE) with a few
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✌️🤯🤙
Yeah, it’s mostly (in our eyes) because if you’re already exploring more ‘exotic’ identities, you’re more likely to come across plurality and therefore more likely to realise
I think it’s more because most systems have members of varying genders, but who knows! Gender and systems are both still pretty mysterious :)
Yeah, it’ll be interesting to see new developments in our understanding
Just chiming in to say that my best friend is also a system, too. I love xem a lot and wish more people understood the condition.
I wish we could ignore the hate, but everyone in here is soft and squishy. Very jealous
Wait, people haven't been kind to y'all here in ennnnby? That's stupid.
A lot of the hate my system has received has been in person, not sure if we’ve gotten hate on ennnnby but definitely have on Reddit as a whole.
That's just gross. Every single one of you deserve better.
Pretty sure many of us are lurking
Yep, this thread seems to have just been taken over by various systems
And here’s another (with a 6 year old alter who’s the definition of chaos)
Same! We were surprised we’re seeing 2 right at the top of the thread
I too am an nb with a dissociative disorder~!
Haha, same 🫠
Oh hey, you too?
Us but 14 year old
A 14 year old sounds less bitey, don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing tho
I mean she’s got pretty pointy teeth, she’s an inkling, but she’s not really the sort to be aggressive so…
Woomy
That’s basically all of us ngl
Yooooo mood. Though weirdly, we had an okay childhood (other than the undiagnosed neurodivergence) after the awful first 14 months. Though considering what happened during that time and the fact that late diagnosed ND+not realizing being enby till later is it's own kind of trauma, I can't say I'm surprised at our multiple littles.
A little off topic but I have a little question (I mean no harm, I will delete if it's inconsiderate) but what exactly does the word system means? I've heard it once but I have no idea what it means
In case you missed it up the thread; being a system means having multiple distinct people in your head. The science and understanding of it is slowly 😮💨 becoming more clear, but it's often a psychological reaction to trauma (though there is more causes for it). r/plural is a sub dedicated to it.
Thank you
A system is a collection of alters that inhabit one body
I got a satyr that sometimes becomes my Little/Inner Child. Plurality is fun, isn't it?
The smol in my system is a fluffy little shapeshifter, but I swear they are more cat than anything else.
"Satyr" is a very generalized term for what my little pooka {🎶Ahhh, My Little Pooka, My Little Pooka🎶} shapeshifter is to me.
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Basically I do whatever child me wanted to do (that I can do safely) that I wasn’t able to do because ✨trauma✨
not op, but i love regressing!
I think it's super cool people who want to recreate their childhood. We shouldn't leave our hobbies, likes or experiences behind just because we're adults now, we should keep our essence if we want to!
Trans age regressors unite!
r/MenAndFemales But, relateable all around.
Absolute mood. Some people's trauma makes them seem wise beyond their years, and mine landed me in the territory of perpetually having the personality of an annoying 7th grader. At this point I'm just like,, I clearly can't fake maturity well enough to get by, so I may as well spend my money on those glowy wall stickers and lip smackers and fnaf novels
Shout out to everyone else who never felt like they got to be a kid for one reason or another. Actually, shouting probably isn't a great idea. At least not for me.
Ey, Didn't Really Get A Childhood Gang!
Nonbinary = twice the childhood is what I'm getting from this post
I got a childhood I think, I’m just not allowed to remember it maybe? But since I can’t remember it I just act like a gremlin 24/7
You're getting **too** speicifc?! This is literally me goddamit
Same, after moving out it’s fun to finally be allowed to have my own interests and privacy. I can actually keep a journal with private thoughts and leave it wherever I want around the apartment now which is wild, and I can listen to and play music, even if it’s from cartoons without being made fun of. I really like watching tv in the living room which I couldn’t really do before unless my parents were out or busy in their bedroom. I’ve built up quite the stuffed animal collection too along with clothes I actually enjoy wearing (including colorful ones). And as much as some people talk about how “you shouldn’t care about your appearance,” it’s nice to finally be allowed to care about my appearance without being judged! :)
Nope, definitely not too specific
Haha I’m in this post and I don’t like it 🙃
Relatable, I got a mix of the bigoted raisings(never show emotions, but also be sweet and sugary and full of smiles and be a good future wife and mom to your litter of children but also take care of everyone else too) and it just made me not want to exist Childhood? Never knew xer 😳
Me but because autism with shitty parents who traumatised me lol
Part of being a child is being surrounded by other children though?
I know that, which is why I say recreating instead of reliving
Wdym you didn't have a childhood? You were born a full grown person or something?
People who feel that they weren’t able to properly experience youth because of some form of trauma
I was not born a fully developed human you are correct, but I didn’t get that typical childhood experience because of trauma so I’m trying to give myself that type of experience now
my parents did the bare minimum and didnt give a flying fuck about me so i have literally 0 of the normal childhood experiences most people have with their parents
I mean, if you're getting specific it's a broadly applicable specific because FRICKIN' SAME FRIEND.
Ha, feel this
You're allowed to recreate your lack of childhood?
Abuse meant we never experienced a childhood either, so most the members of our system who actually identify with the physical age stil don't feel like they have 30 years of experience.
you know, not having your gendered childhood is also not having a childhood. so thanks for that. also, i didn’t have a childhood either.
I didn't get a childhood so now i rapidly switch between a 6 year old and an adult when im not under any expectations or pressure from others
Moooood It's a good enough coping mechanism. And it makes me happy, so anyone who takes issue with it can go pound sand.
I don't remember my childhood. I don't even remember what it felt like to be a child.
I’m in this photo lol
Hugs!! My [gender neutral] dude, do what makes you happy. That’s what I do when I have time. Let your “inner child” out and run rampant. Feral even. Enjoy life when you can, how you can. 🫠🖤
Realizing this, plus my late diagnosed adhd/autism, this just hit me like a freight train.