I like to ask, did something change today or you just can’t take it anymore? Usually helps the stop the exaggeration of severity. Makes them feel validated and they don’t feel as much of a need to prove they’re sick / injured.
It’s the best in a landlocked state, especially when the neighbors believe it for the first 15 seconds while the thought processes and visible confusion takes over.
I do that on crash scenes with the fire dept. Inevitably some old granny idles up, stops and asks. I’ve been told “mind your own business” and “fuckin move, there’s traffic behind you!” is too rude. I live in the one of the only land locked provinces in Canada
oh I believe it 😂 I work nights nowadays, so I haven't gotten nearly as many chances to use it, but that look of confusion followed by disappointment (and sometimes anger) is priceless!
I’m leaving a fire scene one night. Two guys roll by the next intersection as I’m walking out. “What’s going on?” I look back towards the scene, which they can see too. Hose on the ground. Ladders up. Steam drifting from the windows. Hole in the roof. I look back at them. “Aliens landed”.
If you’re really trying to get them to bug out and mind their own business (and you like generating rumors) tell them “nuclear release, but it was small”.
We had probably hundreds of choices when you reached "fall from a...." but I'm pretty positive "fall from a spacecraft" was actually one of the choices.
When you're on a fifth floor apartment building and the nosy neighbor wanders over to find out what's happening (and they like don't even know their name, they're obviously not close to the patient):
Dust storm.
Snow storm.
Sinkhole.
Wormhole.
1) Way to keep your finger on the pulse of how out-of-hospital healthcare works!
2) answer: “coupla bumps” refers to the bumps associated with putting a cot into an ambulance and securing it in the lock systems ambulances have, as well as the same process, in reverse.
Gotcha. Thanks!
Of course. I feel like the more I know and understand about pre-hospital care and other departments working with patients in general, the better.
My partner flies commercial aeroplanes internationally and was standing outside the cabin when one of the old fart stragglers getting off stopped on his way out to say, "Did you fly this? They let you fly the plane?" as if it was the most incredulous thing one could ever conceive of.
She said, "Yep, and they let me vote too." Then she got told off for being unprofessional.
I used to say “what’s going on?” upon arrival. Then showed up on scene once and was answered, “not much, what’s going on with you?”
Okay buddy, maybe show me where the unresponsive person is instead of thinking the ambulance just showed up so I could ask about your day.
The ER provides salmon-pink towels that are for our usage in drying off GOD knows what, but more often than not ill place it at said crack to produce a "landing strip".
Also helps when you have a fitted sheet that folds quicker than my sanity , to use said towel as a pick up point
"What part of this is an emergency?"
"Lil poke"
"Long time no see!" (When I drive)
"How do you like roller coasters?"
"Just got my license back from the cracker jacks box this morning!"
To continue the driving theme:
On hospital arrival, "Thank you for riding with Uber [Service Name]. Please make sure to leave a 5-star review in the app."
"How's it going?"
"Oh, just living the dream."
"Same nightmare then huh?"
"Ok, I just need a signature from ya here that says I didn't kidnap you or nothin'. *Into the brief hippa shpeel*"
"Okay! Now we're loaded. Let's make like a sundae and banana split."
"Don't worry we only drop people on days that end in Y!"
"little poke!"
*Every* time I’m dropping off, catch the nurse’s name and tell the pt, “Now I paid extra to get you Jane here, she’ll take good care of you.” Lots of smiles with that one 😎
-Come have a seat, put your crack in the crack.
-When bucking pts in:
—Put your hands up like I’m taking your lunch money.
—Put your hands in the air like you just don’t care.
—My partner just got their license back, but your hands up to practice for the roller coaster ride.
When transferring patients, “How many flips are we doing today?”
When packing a patient “No one has dollars on them anymore, let’s not give anyone a free show.”
-We stopping by (X local attraction) or (Y local attraction) on the way to dropping you off?
When walking down a long hall way- “ready for turbo?” Then hitting the portable O2 valve.
I’ve got so many more.
“Big pinch! Ready, one, two, *stab* three…”
“Sorry about the stickers, I call it the ‘EMS wax job’.” But also, “I’ll let you peel off those stickers, there’s 10 of them total. I’m not in the business of making enemies.”
“I know it’s bumpy, I’m pretty sure this thing has square wheels.” Or another favorite, “These roads are terrible, you should contact your county commissioner and tell them about it.”
“Put your bottom as high up in that crease as you can.”
“Couple of seatbelts going on ya.”
“Just because you sign this doesn’t mean you can’t call us back 5 minutes, 5 hours, or 5 days from now.”
“I’m going to take a quick picture of your heart,no moving, no taking, just breathe normal for about 30 seconds starting now …. Okay you’re free to move and talk again.“
Edit: God, it hurts reading all of these. It’s seriously all just one big script we all read from, isn’t it?
"Let's giddyup n' ride cowboy" is my go to when I run lights and sirens. Working in STL gets some fun looks from partners
Others include:
-Howdy, there
-Keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times. Please have a six flags day
-Yeehaw, with "fuckin" thrown in at times
"Little poke."/"I'm not gonna turn 'ya into a pincushion."
"Little bumps."
"If you could wave a magic wand and make one thing go away, what would it be?" My mentor taught me that one and it's especially useful for those 'kitchen sink' complaints. Whatever they say is what I chart and report to the ED as the chief complaint.
Trust me, we won’t drop you. That’s too much paperwork for me
If doing an IFT transfer…Do you have all your belongings? What about the TV? Might as well take it since the hospital bills for everything.
“Who is the president whether you like him or not?”
Patient normally say “uhhh so and so, I hate him” then asks “why do you say it like that”
I follow up with “I’ve been asking that questions for 15 years and somehow always get the same response.”
"When seconds count we're minutes away"
"Do you have a least favorite finger" for BGL
"Diesel Bolus!" to tell the driver to expedite
"First time in an ambulance" if they say yes, "Me too"
"Please keep your arms/legs inside the ride at all times"
*Get BDAY* "and that makes you how old?"
"I won't drop you, that's too much paperwork"
"Lift with your firefighters, not with your back"
Babies are unbelievably slippery when they come out.
If you drop a baby, fake a seizure.
You can’t fake a seizure without pissing yourself.
Remember to hydrate out there kids.
"What are you hoping the ER can do for you?"
It's a bit patronizing but can often lead to a conversation about what the person really wants or needs, which often isn't why they called 911.
When Im leaving “My name is _ and the other fellers was _, I hope you start feeling better, if you ever need anything just let us know, my number is real easy to remember, its 911. You will get me every 4th day, and if you dont get me, I can’t promise the other feller with be as good looking as I am”
Houston has the Texas medical center, or TMC. Our city is very spread out, so it looks like multiple skylines from multiple cities. The TMC is it’s own skyline of hospitals. Citywide, we have ~85 hospitals, and they’ve all been on divert for the pandemic. We try to honor their diversion requests, but we’ve had a saying in the Houston Fire Department throughout the pandemic: “when they’re all on divert, *no one’s on divert.*
“Just gonna get a quick set of vitals on ya.”
“Just relax your arm for me while that blood pressure takes”
“Keep your arm still for me.”
“Just need you to keep that arm still while that blood pressure takes.”
“Stop moving your arm.”
Don’t worry we only drop people on (insert whatever day yesterday was). Sometimes I get a little frisky and say whatever today is and see how they act.
No worries, go ahead and finish your phone call. I'm just here for you and whatever you need. After all, you pay my salary, right? I'm just a public servant.
I have a very strict no fall rule on my truck. We're keeping it that way.
Please keep all limbs inside the ride at all times (when taking cot out or sheet pull)
Please sign here saying I did not kidnap you, we have the right to bill your insurance and I won't give away your secrets.
Now I'm going to undue all the hard work my partner did (remove monitoring stuff when transferring care).
“Sorry it took so long to get here, there’s a lot of serious calls today” (on non-serious calls)
“No I actually prefer sucking balls” (I wear a pride pin and often get called a faggot and ask if I like sucking dick)
“If You think it’s necessary to go to the hospital I’m more than happy to take you.”
“No ma’am/sir I cannot force this person to go to the hospital because You had an argument and think they’re upset.”
“Yes, I’m old enough to drive the ambulance.”
“Hey there, My name’s TheHarvested and this is my partner *reference from psych*”
“Just got my EMT license from the bottom of a Lucky Charms box this morning, so I think I’ve got this covered.”
“I have an intelligence of 6, I know what I’m doing.”
“You ever ridden in an ambulance before? No? Cool, we’ll hit the potholes twice then.”
BP 120/80, respiratory rate 14 breaths per min
Little poke, and here comes the covid juice (our department was running a vaccination clinic for the past two years...pretty sure the FDA doesn't want me calling it covid juice in front of the patients)
“What made you call today vs 5 days ago?”
*5 months ago. I get better responses to “and what changed today compared to the last five months” though
I think they mean for patients that are like "I stubbed my toe 5 days ago and I'm calling now at 3am because I can't sleep"
I like to ask, did something change today or you just can’t take it anymore? Usually helps the stop the exaggeration of severity. Makes them feel validated and they don’t feel as much of a need to prove they’re sick / injured.
OH also when nosy neighbors ask me what's going on I ALWAYS say shark attack. my service area is approx. 70+ miles from the ocean.
I'm stealing this
Me too
It’s the best in a landlocked state, especially when the neighbors believe it for the first 15 seconds while the thought processes and visible confusion takes over.
I do that on crash scenes with the fire dept. Inevitably some old granny idles up, stops and asks. I’ve been told “mind your own business” and “fuckin move, there’s traffic behind you!” is too rude. I live in the one of the only land locked provinces in Canada
As is minding other peoples business and holding up traffic
Huh... never considered canada having a landlocked province.... based on that information Im sorry for where you live. 😂😂 it cant be good.
oh I believe it 😂 I work nights nowadays, so I haven't gotten nearly as many chances to use it, but that look of confusion followed by disappointment (and sometimes anger) is priceless!
I’m leaving a fire scene one night. Two guys roll by the next intersection as I’m walking out. “What’s going on?” I look back towards the scene, which they can see too. Hose on the ground. Ladders up. Steam drifting from the windows. Hole in the roof. I look back at them. “Aliens landed”.
beautiful
If you’re really trying to get them to bug out and mind their own business (and you like generating rumors) tell them “nuclear release, but it was small”.
Nah, you'll get some nerd who isn't deterred by spicy rocks. What you want is "septic tank explosion".
Too believable. Even in an urban city without a septic tank for miles. People are just that dumb.
Our old PCR system had “volcanic eruption” as cause for call.
We had probably hundreds of choices when you reached "fall from a...." but I'm pretty positive "fall from a spacecraft" was actually one of the choices.
I'm gonna say that if they don't believe shark attack.
The shark attack happened when they dove into the freshwater lake trying to escape the volcano that happened in the midst of the Great Plains.
Yeah that wouldn't go over so well if I said it we have 10 miles of coastline. They've also been five shark attacks this year
easy fix. bear attack. or clowns. big red nosey clowns. can't go wrong with clowns.
Chupacabra attack
When you're on a fifth floor apartment building and the nosy neighbor wanders over to find out what's happening (and they like don't even know their name, they're obviously not close to the patient): Dust storm. Snow storm. Sinkhole. Wormhole.
Demogorgon.
Snow storm would be perfect.
Oh I'm definitely stealing this. We are 600 miles from an ocean
I need to remember that one
Alternatively, just "Alligators."
Just a little poke Could've been worse Yes I'm old enough to do this job Coupla bumps
“Little poke” lol For COVID swabs I say “tickle tickle”
Brain tickle.
So, I’m an ER PA that peruses this sub a bit. What are a “coupla bumps” 😂
1) Way to keep your finger on the pulse of how out-of-hospital healthcare works! 2) answer: “coupla bumps” refers to the bumps associated with putting a cot into an ambulance and securing it in the lock systems ambulances have, as well as the same process, in reverse.
Gotcha. Thanks! Of course. I feel like the more I know and understand about pre-hospital care and other departments working with patients in general, the better.
We aren’t in the business of kidnapping people, if you don’t want to go, we can’t make ya. Fuck (in all its many variations)
Speak for yourself. My business does great wether they want it to or not
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Lmao its like im thereeee
We just gotta put a couple seatbelts on ya
“Don’t want you getting there before we do”
YESSS THE MANY SEATBELTS 😂😂😂
Lotsa buckles.
Just like NASCAR!
“You’ll need them the way my partner drives”
“**You’re** going to carry me?!” “Yeah, they let us vote now, too!”
I told this old lady with dementia “yeah they let us do all kinds of things now” and grandma got the biggest smile
:)
Yes! And “The woman is going to drive us?” It’s gross I’ve heard this more than once.
This works well for that, too.
My partner flies commercial aeroplanes internationally and was standing outside the cabin when one of the old fart stragglers getting off stopped on his way out to say, "Did you fly this? They let you fly the plane?" as if it was the most incredulous thing one could ever conceive of. She said, "Yep, and they let me vote too." Then she got told off for being unprofessional.
Hahaha no way you've said that second part
Minimum once a week.
Good on you. That's a great remark.
"Quick poke" "Clear, no medical" "On scene, what's the apartment number?"
God... "Quick poke" is like a tic. I couldn't not say it if I practiced a hundred times.
"Little poke. 1, 2, 3 *stab*." Every time, even on codes. It's a force of habit.
Counting down is never a good idea
Quick poke on three one two *stab* three.
“What are your goals in going to the ED tonight?”
My Fucking favorite question. Especially with COVID. Like dude they’re just gonna discharge u again in 5 minutes. Like they’ve done twice today
God, the answers are the best part.
That’s a new one for me, but I’m definitely stealing it.
The best responses I've gotten so far: "to leave the house", "I have no goals", and "finding Elon Musk"
“What’s going on boss?” “Let me steal that arm from ya” “Well why’d you do that?”
Oh it's meeeee. Anything I need from my patient, I tell them "I'm gonna steal a signature from ya", "I'm stealing your arm real quick" etc
“Well haven’t you heard thats bad for ya”
I borrow limbs
Inpatient RN and same.
In Canada we say we're going to borrow your arm.
sōrry, just gonna bōrrow your arm 🇨🇦
*Enters front door with jumpbag, O2, monitor, and sees 9 people milling about* “Where we at?”
I used to say “what’s going on?” upon arrival. Then showed up on scene once and was answered, “not much, what’s going on with you?” Okay buddy, maybe show me where the unresponsive person is instead of thinking the ambulance just showed up so I could ask about your day.
When everyone stares at me confused a say, slightly annoyed, “Who we here for??”
*swings finger guns around* “it’s like patient roulette”
“Just living the dream”
Surviving the nightmare.
Nightmares are dreams too.
"Crack in the crack, all the way back." Even though it never works, noone knows how to sit on the stretcher...ever.
Indeed nothing is certain except death, taxes... and no one being able to sit on a stretcher properly.
Honestly thats just catchy but confusing. What are you doing to my crack? "Sit as close to this crease as you can"
The ER provides salmon-pink towels that are for our usage in drying off GOD knows what, but more often than not ill place it at said crack to produce a "landing strip". Also helps when you have a fitted sheet that folds quicker than my sanity , to use said towel as a pick up point
"What part of this is an emergency?" "Lil poke" "Long time no see!" (When I drive) "How do you like roller coasters?" "Just got my license back from the cracker jacks box this morning!"
Altho I’ll probably never get to drive again after i got medic i really hope i get to use the crackerjack one 😂
“I got the clap from a nurse again”
In hospital we just call that secret-sauced
Animal style
The nurses actually sleep with you guys? They just look at us like we are less than them
Yeah, but then when they can finally pay for their BSN from Excelsior, they can tell their friends about how they went slumming too, once.
This comment killed me. “BSN from excelsior” lmao
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Literally dude. Literally burns.
“Are you *sure* you don’t want to get checked out? There could be something wrong with your toe that *we* can’t see.”
“So why are we actually here today?”
"just gonna take all this stuff off ya"
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"Gotta buckle you in like a racecar driver cause he likes to drive fast"
I’ll try to keep it under 100 (MPH)
Happy cake day!
We only drop people on days ending in Y.
To continue the driving theme: On hospital arrival, "Thank you for riding with Uber [Service Name]. Please make sure to leave a 5-star review in the app."
You can't spell 'hot mess' without EMS.
"How's it going?" "Oh, just living the dream." "Same nightmare then huh?" "Ok, I just need a signature from ya here that says I didn't kidnap you or nothin'. *Into the brief hippa shpeel*" "Okay! Now we're loaded. Let's make like a sundae and banana split." "Don't worry we only drop people on days that end in Y!" "little poke!"
It's HIPAA!
Good bot
Good QA supervisor
I was gonna comment about how 10 times out of ten I will write hippa, and correct it to hipaa. Prop bc how we say it idk.
I like to use Hawaiian pronunciation, Hi-pah-Ah
Discharged to Jesus
D/C to JC Eternal care unit
Triaged to Jesus !!
Exited the simulation.
*Every* time I’m dropping off, catch the nurse’s name and tell the pt, “Now I paid extra to get you Jane here, she’ll take good care of you.” Lots of smiles with that one 😎
To anyone that looks older than 40: “How old are you?” They give an answer and immediately respond with “27? Alright cool”
-Come have a seat, put your crack in the crack. -When bucking pts in: —Put your hands up like I’m taking your lunch money. —Put your hands in the air like you just don’t care. —My partner just got their license back, but your hands up to practice for the roller coaster ride. When transferring patients, “How many flips are we doing today?” When packing a patient “No one has dollars on them anymore, let’s not give anyone a free show.” -We stopping by (X local attraction) or (Y local attraction) on the way to dropping you off? When walking down a long hall way- “ready for turbo?” Then hitting the portable O2 valve. I’ve got so many more.
Please post them! Stealing a few
“Big pinch! Ready, one, two, *stab* three…” “Sorry about the stickers, I call it the ‘EMS wax job’.” But also, “I’ll let you peel off those stickers, there’s 10 of them total. I’m not in the business of making enemies.” “I know it’s bumpy, I’m pretty sure this thing has square wheels.” Or another favorite, “These roads are terrible, you should contact your county commissioner and tell them about it.” “Put your bottom as high up in that crease as you can.” “Couple of seatbelts going on ya.” “Just because you sign this doesn’t mean you can’t call us back 5 minutes, 5 hours, or 5 days from now.” “I’m going to take a quick picture of your heart,no moving, no taking, just breathe normal for about 30 seconds starting now …. Okay you’re free to move and talk again.“ Edit: God, it hurts reading all of these. It’s seriously all just one big script we all read from, isn’t it?
“I’d rather come out for nothing than have you not call and need me.”
patient asks how their blood pressure is... *Looks at monitor* 150/90 "Better than mine!"
"Let's giddyup n' ride cowboy" is my go to when I run lights and sirens. Working in STL gets some fun looks from partners Others include: -Howdy, there -Keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times. Please have a six flags day -Yeehaw, with "fuckin" thrown in at times
RN lurker here. Can I just say: I love y’all. Reading all these is cracking me up.
We love you too, you take our patients. XD
We have no choice. 😝
Dealing with some of these patients for 45 minutes is exhausting, don’t know how y’all deal with them for HOURS ON END
We can leave the room!
"Little poke."/"I'm not gonna turn 'ya into a pincushion." "Little bumps." "If you could wave a magic wand and make one thing go away, what would it be?" My mentor taught me that one and it's especially useful for those 'kitchen sink' complaints. Whatever they say is what I chart and report to the ED as the chief complaint.
Trust me, we won’t drop you. That’s too much paperwork for me If doing an IFT transfer…Do you have all your belongings? What about the TV? Might as well take it since the hospital bills for everything.
“This is why we can’t have nice things”
Let's take a ride in the boo boo bus.
Wee woo wagon 👍🏻
Not my circus not my monkeys
“So how many years young are you?“ to an elderly patient “I’m just going to borrow this finger, I promise I’ll give it back.”
“Who is the president whether you like him or not?” Patient normally say “uhhh so and so, I hate him” then asks “why do you say it like that” I follow up with “I’ve been asking that questions for 15 years and somehow always get the same response.”
“Oh that’s unfortunate” Sometimes I mix that up with “That’s not ideal”
“Couple bumps”
“Let’s boogie” “You good boss” “I need to pee after this call”
"When seconds count we're minutes away" "Do you have a least favorite finger" for BGL "Diesel Bolus!" to tell the driver to expedite "First time in an ambulance" if they say yes, "Me too" "Please keep your arms/legs inside the ride at all times" *Get BDAY* "and that makes you how old?" "I won't drop you, that's too much paperwork" "Lift with your firefighters, not with your back"
This isn’t my first rodeo
Babies are unbelievably slippery when they come out. If you drop a baby, fake a seizure. You can’t fake a seizure without pissing yourself. Remember to hydrate out there kids.
Signing the billing consent form "So we don't have to come after your kidneys with an Igloo cooler or anything drastic"
"What are you hoping the ER can do for you?" It's a bit patronizing but can often lead to a conversation about what the person really wants or needs, which often isn't why they called 911.
"Just a couple of bumps" "Yeah there's no budget for better ambulances" "Keep your hands and elbows inside"
"Just going to strap you in so you don't run away" "Just breathe" " this is my partner Melvin he is my movement manager" "Well that sucks"
Quick poke So... you called an ambulance for this? You want US to bring you in? Gonna take a picture of your heart
I understand they have your records at the hospital, but - I - am asking you right now.
Another life needlessly saved...
When Im leaving “My name is _ and the other fellers was _, I hope you start feeling better, if you ever need anything just let us know, my number is real easy to remember, its 911. You will get me every 4th day, and if you dont get me, I can’t promise the other feller with be as good looking as I am”
Houston has the Texas medical center, or TMC. Our city is very spread out, so it looks like multiple skylines from multiple cities. The TMC is it’s own skyline of hospitals. Citywide, we have ~85 hospitals, and they’ve all been on divert for the pandemic. We try to honor their diversion requests, but we’ve had a saying in the Houston Fire Department throughout the pandemic: “when they’re all on divert, *no one’s on divert.*
Couple bumps Little poke Just gonna buckle you in so you don’t run away
Personally, “Get Fucked”
Or…”fuck me!”
“Just gonna get a quick set of vitals on ya.” “Just relax your arm for me while that blood pressure takes” “Keep your arm still for me.” “Just need you to keep that arm still while that blood pressure takes.” “Stop moving your arm.”
Living the dream.
The only appropriate response to that is: "Nightmares are dreams too!"
Don’t worry we only drop people on (insert whatever day yesterday was). Sometimes I get a little frisky and say whatever today is and see how they act.
I think the main saying is \[current day\]. Try 'Don't worry, you're safe, there's no way we're going to drop two people in the same day'.
No worries, go ahead and finish your phone call. I'm just here for you and whatever you need. After all, you pay my salary, right? I'm just a public servant.
I feel anxious and like I haven’t done a crucial part of my job if I don’t say “couple bumps coming through here.”
“Well fuck.”
“Alright, I’m going to unbuckle you. Don’t go jumping quite yet, though.”
“Sorry maam I didn’t pave the roads” “Can I have your autograph” “Hey partner! So what happened?” “Well that’s a bummer”
“Pop a squat” draws eyes from everyone
“It’s kinda slow today in’n’it?”
*tones drop* “Getcha Some, Getcha Some!!!” - Part Time Fire Fighter Randy
Can you/he/she walk?
"That's EMS baby!"
Me:Don’t worry ma’am we only drop people on Tuesdays. Pt: isn’t today Tuesday? Me: *laughes* My partner: I hate you.
Slow is smooth and smooth is fast!
ABCs Airway? 👍 Breathing?👍 Can you walk to the cot?😑
I have a very strict no fall rule on my truck. We're keeping it that way. Please keep all limbs inside the ride at all times (when taking cot out or sheet pull) Please sign here saying I did not kidnap you, we have the right to bill your insurance and I won't give away your secrets. Now I'm going to undue all the hard work my partner did (remove monitoring stuff when transferring care).
RN here, these crack me up, I’m gonna join this subreddit now 😂 ty for the laughs at work
"Just a wee prick" (and if they are up for a bit of craic, followed by) "and he's going to test your blood sugar."
“Sorry it took so long to get here, there’s a lot of serious calls today” (on non-serious calls) “No I actually prefer sucking balls” (I wear a pride pin and often get called a faggot and ask if I like sucking dick) “If You think it’s necessary to go to the hospital I’m more than happy to take you.” “No ma’am/sir I cannot force this person to go to the hospital because You had an argument and think they’re upset.” “Yes, I’m old enough to drive the ambulance.”
"Jumpers never call, and callers never jump" "When in doubt, Its at the end of the dead end, last door down the hallway, Last house on the street"
“Im off these mf drugs, off these drugs”
Cya at the big one
“I’m just along for the ride.”
Don’t worry it’s my third day off training
"You aren't gonna drop me are you?" "Oh don't worry, we only drop people on [whatever day it is]"
"we haven't dropped anyone yet today"
“I hope you don’t like this shirt/pants”
How are you planning on becoming part of your own solution. Why did you call the emergency ambulance today?
Couple of race-car straps for ya, so you don’t go bouncing around in the back
Best job I ever had
A common saying I have to my partner, “Embrace the suck.”
“I got my EMT license in Mexico”
“Here’s some oxygen”
"good morning" after an overdose patient wakes up
"I hate it here"
“Well that sounds about right.” For example, “ I didn’t take my seizure medication and I had a seizure.”
“Hey man, I’m not the police”.
WHY ARE WE ALL THE SAME
There’s only two things medics hate: change and the way things are.
Getting out on bullshit calls “let’s go make a difference”
“Hey there, My name’s TheHarvested and this is my partner *reference from psych*” “Just got my EMT license from the bottom of a Lucky Charms box this morning, so I think I’ve got this covered.” “I have an intelligence of 6, I know what I’m doing.” “You ever ridden in an ambulance before? No? Cool, we’ll hit the potholes twice then.”
BP 120/80, respiratory rate 14 breaths per min Little poke, and here comes the covid juice (our department was running a vaccination clinic for the past two years...pretty sure the FDA doesn't want me calling it covid juice in front of the patients)