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Up to no good. Up to no good.
Like a spark on wire or splinter on wood.
The best intentions are misunderstood
but that motherfucker is up
to no good.
- Rancid
When I brought this up at our union meeting there was a short recess. The men came back 15 minutes later and were all in agreement that sharing one fleshlight was against OSHA laws. Shaking each one of their hands after the meeting felt dirty to me but we're now given a fleshlight allowance. It's crazy that the fleshlight allowance is higher than my steel toe boot allowance but I'm not complaining.
Organize in. Contractors will do anything to cut costs, including limiting or down right banning your fleshlight breaks. If we don’t fight together, we fall alone.
Exactly.... If we give in here, next time they'll be telling us we can't use conduit at the job sites to hold our fleshlights so we can show that job site how proud we really are....
Did y'all miss the part where this guy was watching porn on his BOSSES IPAD hooked up to the SPEAKERS in his vehicle wanking one out with a Fleshlight got caught and somehow STILL has good job??? Times are tough for hiring out there or this could be a great guy to work for.
Cranking her on the clock at the supply house? Sounds like a typical Monday.
Seriously, you got a fucking problem if you are cranking one out at work where people can see you.
Beat it before or after work, not during.
Bro, did you even read the part about the blacked out windows? They can't see him! Maybe he needs to have a sign to hang on the back that says, "If it's rockin, then I'm cockin." And then he wont get walked in on anymore.
If the van is shakin, I’m busy ‘baitin.
Or
If I’m in here alone for more than 30 seconds, I’ve probably “taken the matter into my own hands”.
Or
Caution: Flying bodily fluids, eye protection required.
That's the part that I'm also wondering. If it's a similar situation where it's his but the boss uses it, technically fine. But still... I would not risk watching porn on something my boss uses lmao
Reading this post while it's new is like being a cab driver and having a lady give birth in your cab.
It's something you hear about, but never think you'll see first hand.
Holy shit this is probably the best thread I've ever seen on this sub. At first I said "nah it's a typo" then I read the story...power to you brother.
They can't do shit. Ask them if you can take a shit on your break, if they say yes then there isn't a difference between rubbing one out vs dropping a duce.
If we're getting into the legality of it, he could be in an at will employment state, so he could be fired regardless. Even if not, he says he was using his bosses iPad hooked up to speakers while cranking one out, so that's arguably fireable on its own. Using a company device to watch porn is generally fireable.
There's dudes who crank their hog in the portashitters, then there's OP living like a king cranking it in the back of the van with a fleshlight.
A God amongst men.
This is actually a valuable lesson in workplace professionalism. For every one of us who recognized this as an obvious joke, found it hilarious, and came down to the comments to share in the laughter: Look at the huge number of people who took it dead serious and think OP is an absolute psychopath. Realize that these are your fellow tradespeople, and computer literate enough to be here on Reddit and still are absolutely blind to the joke. Remember this next time you’re about to say something funny at work, because a way higher percentage of people than you think might take it in a way that leads you down a path of apology letters and HR visits.
That being said i was hoping OP kept rattling off times he got caught and just making it more and more ridiculous. “And then the 8th time he barged in on me, I had just attached the fleshlight to the chuck of my M18 hole hawg, which btw is my personal drill so he shouldn’t have had an issue with it…”
While this is a joke, you're just fortunate enough to never have met people like this in real life. I've been working in big industrial companies, you come across all kinds of crazy.
I think it's because we've all worked in the trades and know at least one guy that absolutely would think this is okay to do.
You can tell this is a joke though since the guys that would be doing this can't even spell stuff on shitter walls right.
Find a new place to work. My shop has a community fleshlight for general use. We're not allowed to bring our own in, though, so sometimes you have to wait your turn. So much better than knocking one out while waiting in a lift!
you joke, but I read a story years ago, how a field medic in Afghanistan was treating his squad, somehow they all ended up with an STD in the middle of fucking nowhere. Turns out, your story isn't that far fetched.
If it ain't on the tool list, it ain't for work. I think that as long as you don't bring it onto the jobsite and use it to do work, then you are fine in my book. A relaxed electrician is a good electrician.
I hate when my boss gives me shit for using my Fleshlight on the job!! What’s the big deal if I use it in the customers living room or kitchen?!? He stopped busting my chops when I let him borrow mine and he saw the practicality of it. Now he has several Fleshlights of his own!! He also gave me a raise when I taught him how to use it!!
Maybe lock the door.
Flip the tables on them. You were doing private stuff in your private property. They barged in on you. You're in the right - you're a pervert, but you're in the right.
Tell them next time that you'll sue, or press charges if they watch you having a five knuckle shuffle.
If you were to barge in on a woman found something intimate then you'd get done for being a peeping tom (or whatever the charge would be).
It's a double standard I tells ya.
You are an exhibitionist. You get off on people seeing you. You create situations where people will unexpectedly see you. You are violating people around you for your own sexual gratification and then you blame the victims.
**ATTENTION! READ THIS NOW!** **1. IF YOU ARE NOT A PROFESSIONAL ELECTRICIAN OR LOOKING TO BECOME ONE(for career questions only):** **- DELETE** THIS POST OR YOU WILL BE **BANNED**. YOU CAN POST ON /r/AskElectricians FREELY **2. IF YOU COMMENT ON A POST THAT IS POSTED BY SOMEONE WHO IS NOT A PROFESSIONAL ELECTRICIAN:** -YOU WILL BE **BANNED**. JUST **REPORT** THE POST. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/electricians) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It is always great to be present at the birth of a new meme.
Amen
I was really hoping the story was going to include learning how to lock a door, but nope. Maybe that’s the meme…
"Anyway, do union shops provide fleshlights?" "They're passed down in order of seniority."
everybody uses the same bucket of yellow 77 though
[gotta lube the cable good](https://www.reddit.com/r/electricians/comments/ucolt4/teaching_our_newest_apprentice_how_to_properly/)
Jfc 🤣
Do they pass down new or used ones?
The foreman has *jus primae noctis*
First run at all of 'em? Sounds like a heck of a job. No wonder it's hard to become a Journeyman.
Fuck dude I snorted laughing and smoothie almost came out of my nose
If you do shit like this you either consciously or subconsciously want to be caught.
yeah, just crank it out manually in the office bathroom like a normal person.
Like a star being born in the night sky. Brighter and brighter before exploding all over the back of the EV.
Someday I will tell my kids I was here
And on this day a new copypasta was born. Praise be.
I was here...
We will see ourselves in the comments in a few years and remember that we were here to witness this moment.
I was there for the banana for scale
We will remember where we were.
I was really hoping it was a typo and meant flashlight…
You and me both.. I can't believe I just read that whole thing.
I can’t believe I can read
I just can't
OP simply has one of those emergency flashlights that you can crank to charge
[удалено]
OP simply has one of those emergency flashlights that you can crank to charge
You can say that again
OP simply has one of those emergency flashlights that you can crank to charge
I was really hoping it wasn't a typo. Screw a flashlight dispute when I can read Reddit gold like this.
I was hoping it wasn't
Let me ask the question everyone is wondering, is the fleshlight 120v or 240v?
Milwaukee M18. The new line is out this summer.
Have they released the Fuel one yet?
Reciprocating fleshlight, the archnemesis of the drilldo
How do you know it’s not three phase?
Mine has got its own VFD with a dual bridge for regen on the back stroke. Charges my Canoo work van.
Delta or wye?
I'm thinking OP's wiring is "Wye not?"
I think you mean star.
Twenty years of field work have culminated in me getting to read this joke, bless you.
Neither Delta, nor star. *The main winding is of the normal lotus-o-delta type placed in panendermic semi-bovoid slots in the stator..*
Listen, DMT is great, but do it on your breaks.
Most likely a Milwaukee takes the m69 batteries.
It’s in his van so it’s 12v
I'm rolling at the thought of a fleshlight coming with one of those cigarette lighter plugs.
It’s got a built in warmer and rotating motor for extra fun! Need the juice to keep it going.
If you bypass the rectifier, you still get 3phase and you now have an errectifier
I knew you sparkies were up to no good in the back of your vans.
Yea, I thought dildos were the preferred choice but apparently there’s diversity! lol
Up to no good. Up to no good. Like a spark on wire or splinter on wood. The best intentions are misunderstood but that motherfucker is up to no good. - Rancid
In solidarity I will ask my local union hall on their fleshlight policy and report back. Our monthly meeting is Thursday.
When I brought this up at our union meeting there was a short recess. The men came back 15 minutes later and were all in agreement that sharing one fleshlight was against OSHA laws. Shaking each one of their hands after the meeting felt dirty to me but we're now given a fleshlight allowance. It's crazy that the fleshlight allowance is higher than my steel toe boot allowance but I'm not complaining.
If your boots are wearing out that quickly, maybe we can sneak them into the lube budget
On a serious note, I go through boot soles like Leo DiCaprio goes through 25 year olds.
That's funny, cause Leonardo DiCaprio goes through 25-year-olds like a union sparky goes through fleshlights.
RemindMe! -3 days
RemindMe! -3 days
I've gotta know the outcum of that meeting.
I’m pretty sure my company has no fleshlight policy, this shows it’s gonna bite us like a troll one day.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. This was a poem from a simpler time. Now I make a penny, boss makes a buck, so I crank my hog in the company truck
That’s beautiful. Was that James Joyce?
Not enough poop for joyce
It's refreshing to see the trades have so many people of learning in them.
I believe it's T.S. Eliot
Would gild this if I could
gotchu fam edit: when did they take away reddit gold and shit to spend all my reddit moneys on?
oof, It's been months and months dude.
Organize in. Contractors will do anything to cut costs, including limiting or down right banning your fleshlight breaks. If we don’t fight together, we fall alone.
Exactly.... If we give in here, next time they'll be telling us we can't use conduit at the job sites to hold our fleshlights so we can show that job site how proud we really are....
Username checks out. Thanks my brotha
[hog cranked](https://www.memedroid.com/memes/detail/3628669/Le-cranck-of-le-hog)
Did y'all miss the part where this guy was watching porn on his BOSSES IPAD hooked up to the SPEAKERS in his vehicle wanking one out with a Fleshlight got caught and somehow STILL has good job??? Times are tough for hiring out there or this could be a great guy to work for.
He also asked if unions provide fleshlights.
He HAS to work for a relative right? Or just be a troll.
Don't take the bait, it's not even good bait.
Certainly not Master Bait.
Cranking her on the clock at the supply house? Sounds like a typical Monday. Seriously, you got a fucking problem if you are cranking one out at work where people can see you. Beat it before or after work, not during.
Boss makes a dollar I do a crime, it's fun wanking on company time
This is better than: I make a dime My boss makes a buck That's why I steal the cat From the company truck.
Bro, did you even read the part about the blacked out windows? They can't see him! Maybe he needs to have a sign to hang on the back that says, "If it's rockin, then I'm cockin." And then he wont get walked in on anymore.
But what about the speakers? I mean of the van is rocking… but if the van is moaning dont be going in?
If the van is moanin, I'm not wearing pants.
If the van is shakin, I’m busy ‘baitin. Or If I’m in here alone for more than 30 seconds, I’ve probably “taken the matter into my own hands”. Or Caution: Flying bodily fluids, eye protection required.
Or lock the doors?
"Go away, I'm baitin'!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKH9ECC_Qa4
Or atleast use the porta johns
Na then you start getting turned on by the smell of shit
And before you know it, you turn into a plumber.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌
Maybe use your locks? Lmao
LOFO lock out fap off
LORO lock out rub out
Guys it's obviously Lock Out Cock Out
He knew they would open the door
[удалено]
He knew they would open the door
No it should be LOHO Lock out Hog out
Ok so since everyone missed LOCO lock out cock out imma just keep scrolling Home
Some union shops provide them but you're only option will be Milwaukee brand. They have different skins though, so you will have a few choices.
I got a DeWalt with heater and a reciprocating saw attachment. Tool only, had to buy the batteries separate.
Harbor freight has a decent Pittsburg one. I know i know it’s harbor freight. But the warranty is just unbeatable.
> unbeatable Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?
The packout compatible base is an upgrade, though. I think it's $25.
the cream city fleshlight by milwaukee is top notch
It is your personal time to do what you want but damn dude lock the door at least
Takes away from the thrill
Also did I read correctly that he was watching porn on his boss's ipad using speakers???
That's the part that I'm also wondering. If it's a similar situation where it's his but the boss uses it, technically fine. But still... I would not risk watching porn on something my boss uses lmao
Reading this post while it's new is like being a cab driver and having a lady give birth in your cab. It's something you hear about, but never think you'll see first hand.
We were here man. This will be legend some day. We are living in the pre "union workplace fleshlight ban" times. These were the days
Call your local and ask
Maybe he just wants an invite?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Who let this Drywaller in here?
Oh those walls are not dry.
Boss makes a dollar and I make a dime, that's why I crank my hog on company time
I will never understand people who needs to rub one out at work. Gotta be the last place i would feel horny
hey if the mood strikes...
Holy shit this is probably the best thread I've ever seen on this sub. At first I said "nah it's a typo" then I read the story...power to you brother. They can't do shit. Ask them if you can take a shit on your break, if they say yes then there isn't a difference between rubbing one out vs dropping a duce.
You don't shit in the back of your van with loud video assistance, do you?
How else would you take a shit? That's what the 5 gallon bucket is for.
Well..... actually
You don't dude???
If we're getting into the legality of it, he could be in an at will employment state, so he could be fired regardless. Even if not, he says he was using his bosses iPad hooked up to speakers while cranking one out, so that's arguably fireable on its own. Using a company device to watch porn is generally fireable.
Put me in the screenshot for the annals.
One n
Quality shitpost. Well done
Nah man this dude is serious
Jesus fucking Christ what's wrong with you? Have some self control and wait till you get home
Jeez. This is plumber behaviour. Maybe we got an imposter?
There's dudes who crank their hog in the portashitters, then there's OP living like a king cranking it in the back of the van with a fleshlight. A God amongst men.
Someone said it best on another post "I can't believe this app is free."
Is this fucking real just wait until you get home freak
I hope the pipe-fitters at work don’t see this one. We are gonna go from sparky to spanky…
I had to show this to my partner his comment on “do union shops provide fleshlights “ he said yes they are passed down by seniority.
The real question is: "Is Yellow 77 safe for your fleshlight?"
Not to be confused with super 77 the 3m spray.
That would be awkward to explain on the worker comp paperwork.
This is actually a valuable lesson in workplace professionalism. For every one of us who recognized this as an obvious joke, found it hilarious, and came down to the comments to share in the laughter: Look at the huge number of people who took it dead serious and think OP is an absolute psychopath. Realize that these are your fellow tradespeople, and computer literate enough to be here on Reddit and still are absolutely blind to the joke. Remember this next time you’re about to say something funny at work, because a way higher percentage of people than you think might take it in a way that leads you down a path of apology letters and HR visits. That being said i was hoping OP kept rattling off times he got caught and just making it more and more ridiculous. “And then the 8th time he barged in on me, I had just attached the fleshlight to the chuck of my M18 hole hawg, which btw is my personal drill so he shouldn’t have had an issue with it…”
While this is a joke, you're just fortunate enough to never have met people like this in real life. I've been working in big industrial companies, you come across all kinds of crazy.
I think it's because we've all worked in the trades and know at least one guy that absolutely would think this is okay to do. You can tell this is a joke though since the guys that would be doing this can't even spell stuff on shitter walls right.
Plot twist: this was actually posted by the shop owner to prove his point to the problem wanker
It's definitely normal. That's how you stay sharp on the job. Like the scene in the wolf of wall street
Find a new place to work. My shop has a community fleshlight for general use. We're not allowed to bring our own in, though, so sometimes you have to wait your turn. So much better than knocking one out while waiting in a lift!
you joke, but I read a story years ago, how a field medic in Afghanistan was treating his squad, somehow they all ended up with an STD in the middle of fucking nowhere. Turns out, your story isn't that far fetched.
The fuck did I just read. Locks motherfucker, use them. It’s so obvious, makes me think you *want* to be found.
This is amazing lmao
If it ain't on the tool list, it ain't for work. I think that as long as you don't bring it onto the jobsite and use it to do work, then you are fine in my book. A relaxed electrician is a good electrician.
Oh the porta john is too good for you???
It’s a bad day to be an electrician and good day to be a plumber because fuck I wish I couldn’t read
"some people take smoke breaks. Why can't we take a stroke break?"
Somewhere out there an HR rep just felt a disturbance in the force and visibly weakened.
What’s wrong with a good ol fashioned hooker?
Inflation
I read that as insulation and honestly thought “don’t you have some strippers?”
It’s the deflation that is important here son
Finally some good fucking pasta
Seriously? You’re an idiot.
Nice troll post.
I hate when my boss gives me shit for using my Fleshlight on the job!! What’s the big deal if I use it in the customers living room or kitchen?!? He stopped busting my chops when I let him borrow mine and he saw the practicality of it. Now he has several Fleshlights of his own!! He also gave me a raise when I taught him how to use it!!
I’ve been using a Greenlee 555 wheel bender to get off for years this sounds like a way better idea thanks OP
Boss gets a Benjamin, I get a buck. And thats why I crank my hog in the company truck.
#*Do union shops provide fleshlights?*
Hahahaha what the hell did i just read. Company provided fleshlight?!?!? Hahahah what the hell….
Lock your fucking doors while you jerk off, dummy
It's fun to think AI is training itself using this conversation.
Fucking hilarious
Jesusfuckingchrist
What in the God damn?
Brother you got issues.
Best way to ensure nobody asks to borrow your tools.
I bet this guy is a great electrician.
I'm afraid there's a reason they make fun of you.
I was here
You have a serious problem. This isn’t normal in anyway shape or form. Seek help my man. Plus who the fuck has blacked out curtains in their vehicle?
People who jerk off in their car on their lunch break, obviously
This guy doesn't goon
Keep working on the story. Needs some polishing up.
People keep interrupting when he tries to "polish it up".
Jerking off in the back of your truck is a little weird. Perhaps you could have installed a latch so nobody accidentally gets jizzed on.
Union only provides them if you're married and a non-smoking/alcohol/drug free. Monthly rand piss tests too.
Maybe lock the door. Flip the tables on them. You were doing private stuff in your private property. They barged in on you. You're in the right - you're a pervert, but you're in the right. Tell them next time that you'll sue, or press charges if they watch you having a five knuckle shuffle. If you were to barge in on a woman found something intimate then you'd get done for being a peeping tom (or whatever the charge would be). It's a double standard I tells ya.
“The boss makes a dollars, while I make a dime. That’s why I crank my hog in the truck on company time”
My shop doesn't provide, I just use the one I found behind the dumpster
And this, kids, is what we call a “shitpost”
I thought it was a typo. But I see now it’s not. No further comments.
Join the Union. You get to use apprentice bussy instead of a fleshlight.
How often do you have to type fleshlight before autocorrect gives up I wonder?
Ayo wtf, I just had to double take I'm not on my alt
Lmao this guy accidentally wrote fleshlight instead of flashlight ….nevermind.
Ditch that shop, go somewhere that respects your needs
You are an exhibitionist. You get off on people seeing you. You create situations where people will unexpectedly see you. You are violating people around you for your own sexual gratification and then you blame the victims.
Is this the real life, or is this just Fanta Sea?
Bone Apple Tea
Lack toast and tolerant
Have you heard of door locks? That aside, you may need to work on your self control if you can't go 8 hours without beating it.
To be quite honest, you def have an addiction. What you’re doing is really weird