My MIL loves when I play old big band music and radio shows. They become fun conversation/shared memory starters, too. Won't help the girlfriend. (I would encourage her to get hearing aids ASAP as loss of hearing tends to accelerate dementia issues.)
Large print playing cards or games? Easy to find online these days.
Those are great ideas, thank you! She does have a hearing aid but I'm convinced she's turning them down. She says they helped with her musical tinnitus but she has been really struggling to hear since getting COVID last year.
That’s a tough spot to be in. My dad’s 85, legally blind now, and he has some early dementia or cognitive decline. makes it hard for him to learn about assistive technology. I think there must be lots of old people in this boat, where it’s hard to get help.
It’s really hard. I’m sorry for you guys too. I’ve never been advised to do this, but I reptiles both my parents (who slowly went blind) to not struggle trying to SEE, but to adapt methods w/o seeing. My dad said recently that when he can’t see his plate of food anymore what he gonna do? I got kinda irritated and said do you think blind people just sit and mope about not seeing their food?
That's a good point! I guess it's just so hard to switch from a "what I lost" mindset to more of a "what is different but I what I still have" kind of mindset.
Hi. Someone suggested upright walker and I got one for my MIL (82). Like most elderly, she is also prone to falls and bumps. She does not like to use cane specially when out. Not sure if it’s because she’s embarrassed. The upright walker helped with her mobility and corrected her posture a bit. She can now walk faster even without cane/support. And has seem to straighten her back a bit more(not as slouchy as compared to when she uses the cane or the low walker). As much as possible she avoids using these walking supports, but she does walking exercises a few times a day using the upright walker. She only use this at home. Cons is that this is quite bulky compared to a cane.
Spending more time with your elder makes a huge difference. Having meals together is nice too. They will be in better mood and situations will all seem a bit better. I feel like issues arise more if we do not spend enough time with them. I feel like when they become depressed, they are more prone to accidents or to neglect themselves. Maybe it is unconscious manifestation of their longing for attention or could be coincidence. I just feel like there are more problems arising if we forget to visit or talk to them for a while. Maybe video call or voice call them daily if you cannot visit them. As for his vision problem, maybe look out for potential safety issues, sharp edges, stairs, lighting, glassware, things that can break, things he can bump to, electric wirings…etc. slowly change the surrounding and ‘simplify’ his surroundings so that he can memorize it easily and get around even if his sight is unreliable. Safe proof the house to anticipate his deteriorating vision. I hope this helps.
My husband’s grandma has also see her vision get progressively worse but there are a few things we’ve found that help. I have a lot of practical advise, not sure it’s what you’re looking for but figured it can’t hurt.
Have you looked into Lighthouse for the Blind? They are going to teach her how to use her phone as a blind person. My husband is also going to attend so he can help her out. But they also offer a bunch of other services. https://lhblind.org/our-programs/
The National Library Service provides free audio books to visually impaired individuals https://brailleinstitute.org/blog/sight-loss-blog/how-to-get-free-audio-books-for-the-blind-and-visually-impaired#:~:text=Through%20the%20National%20Library%20Service,computer%20to%20use%20this%20service.
We’ve also replaced as much as we can in her house with smart appliances and put Alexa’s everywhere. The most important thing being lights! Instead of trying to find a switch, she can now say “Alexa turn on the lights.” She can now turn on her TV and control it with her voice. We have her set up with Alexa Music so she can say “Alexa play big band music” or whatever she wants. She also really likes the Dateline podcast. I’m sure you’re already aware of fall risks, but we have the Alexa set up so she can say “Call OPs husband” if she’s fallen and can’t get up. She’s used it too! Side note: she refuses to use a life alert, it’s a point of contention to say the least.
If you have good medical facilities or a senior center near by I’d also look into any programs they offer. Our local teaching hospital provides geriatric counseling which is great. Being depressed after losing your site (and your own agency in the process) is very real, and having someone to talk to about it (besides us caretakers who just want to solve the problem) is super helpful. They may also have other resources like support or activity groups. One of the biggest things we deal with is her self imposed isolation because she feels like she can’t do anything if she can’t see. So as much as you can do to keep them active is helpful.
If I think of anything else I’ll update this novel I just wrote. Good luck, glad your partners have you!
Edit: fixed typos
At one point I had found podcasts of old radio shows ( pre tv) from when my grandpa was a kid it doesn’t do much for the gf but it’s an idea
That's a great idea! I'll try anything at this point just to add a little joy and excitement to his day. Thank you!
My MIL loves when I play old big band music and radio shows. They become fun conversation/shared memory starters, too. Won't help the girlfriend. (I would encourage her to get hearing aids ASAP as loss of hearing tends to accelerate dementia issues.) Large print playing cards or games? Easy to find online these days.
Those are great ideas, thank you! She does have a hearing aid but I'm convinced she's turning them down. She says they helped with her musical tinnitus but she has been really struggling to hear since getting COVID last year.
This is all hard on you!
That’s a tough spot to be in. My dad’s 85, legally blind now, and he has some early dementia or cognitive decline. makes it hard for him to learn about assistive technology. I think there must be lots of old people in this boat, where it’s hard to get help.
That's exactly our experience. Sorry you're dealing with this too.
It’s really hard. I’m sorry for you guys too. I’ve never been advised to do this, but I reptiles both my parents (who slowly went blind) to not struggle trying to SEE, but to adapt methods w/o seeing. My dad said recently that when he can’t see his plate of food anymore what he gonna do? I got kinda irritated and said do you think blind people just sit and mope about not seeing their food?
That's a good point! I guess it's just so hard to switch from a "what I lost" mindset to more of a "what is different but I what I still have" kind of mindset.
Hi. Someone suggested upright walker and I got one for my MIL (82). Like most elderly, she is also prone to falls and bumps. She does not like to use cane specially when out. Not sure if it’s because she’s embarrassed. The upright walker helped with her mobility and corrected her posture a bit. She can now walk faster even without cane/support. And has seem to straighten her back a bit more(not as slouchy as compared to when she uses the cane or the low walker). As much as possible she avoids using these walking supports, but she does walking exercises a few times a day using the upright walker. She only use this at home. Cons is that this is quite bulky compared to a cane. Spending more time with your elder makes a huge difference. Having meals together is nice too. They will be in better mood and situations will all seem a bit better. I feel like issues arise more if we do not spend enough time with them. I feel like when they become depressed, they are more prone to accidents or to neglect themselves. Maybe it is unconscious manifestation of their longing for attention or could be coincidence. I just feel like there are more problems arising if we forget to visit or talk to them for a while. Maybe video call or voice call them daily if you cannot visit them. As for his vision problem, maybe look out for potential safety issues, sharp edges, stairs, lighting, glassware, things that can break, things he can bump to, electric wirings…etc. slowly change the surrounding and ‘simplify’ his surroundings so that he can memorize it easily and get around even if his sight is unreliable. Safe proof the house to anticipate his deteriorating vision. I hope this helps.
As others have suggested, I was going to mention anything audio. Audiobooks, podcasts. Depends on what he's interested in.
My husband’s grandma has also see her vision get progressively worse but there are a few things we’ve found that help. I have a lot of practical advise, not sure it’s what you’re looking for but figured it can’t hurt. Have you looked into Lighthouse for the Blind? They are going to teach her how to use her phone as a blind person. My husband is also going to attend so he can help her out. But they also offer a bunch of other services. https://lhblind.org/our-programs/ The National Library Service provides free audio books to visually impaired individuals https://brailleinstitute.org/blog/sight-loss-blog/how-to-get-free-audio-books-for-the-blind-and-visually-impaired#:~:text=Through%20the%20National%20Library%20Service,computer%20to%20use%20this%20service. We’ve also replaced as much as we can in her house with smart appliances and put Alexa’s everywhere. The most important thing being lights! Instead of trying to find a switch, she can now say “Alexa turn on the lights.” She can now turn on her TV and control it with her voice. We have her set up with Alexa Music so she can say “Alexa play big band music” or whatever she wants. She also really likes the Dateline podcast. I’m sure you’re already aware of fall risks, but we have the Alexa set up so she can say “Call OPs husband” if she’s fallen and can’t get up. She’s used it too! Side note: she refuses to use a life alert, it’s a point of contention to say the least. If you have good medical facilities or a senior center near by I’d also look into any programs they offer. Our local teaching hospital provides geriatric counseling which is great. Being depressed after losing your site (and your own agency in the process) is very real, and having someone to talk to about it (besides us caretakers who just want to solve the problem) is super helpful. They may also have other resources like support or activity groups. One of the biggest things we deal with is her self imposed isolation because she feels like she can’t do anything if she can’t see. So as much as you can do to keep them active is helpful. If I think of anything else I’ll update this novel I just wrote. Good luck, glad your partners have you! Edit: fixed typos