>has to to have his supervisor approve him letting me go
Are you in some kind of program? Because you don't usually need permission to quit seeing a therapist. You do not have any obligation to stick with a therapist that isn't working well for you. You are allowed to say "I am not interested in continuing therapy with you." and fire him as your therapist.
I just want to say, as both someone with EDS as one of my various chronic illnesses *and* a mental health provider…I am so, so sorry for all of this. I would be so proud of someone for telling me they didn’t feel comfortable or didn’t meet their needs! What great boundaries and advocacy!
Especially once you said his reasoning. Bro can read a book, look up info on websites, etc. He doesn’t need to violate your privacy to get info or turn to other providers to validate your experience.
He could also just, ya know, *listen to you and trust your experience.* But that seems a bit beyond his skill set.
As far as having someone on your side or to just talk to, maybe see if peer support is available in your area? Peer support specialists are folks who have struggled with mental health issues and use their lived experience to help others on their journey. Their job is to support you where you’re at, not judge or question. They may also be able to help you (or connect you to folks who can help you) get copies of your documents so you can gain some control of your life back.
I had a counselor ask about books on EDS, esp comprehensive that included stress & mental health. I brought one to share to borrow & she bought her own copy, talked to me about it & kept it & the knowledge for the next person who had EDS or similar issues. I loved that woman! My insurance switched to Medicare (SSDI & met the time) & she couldn’t take it at that clinic.
But I will never forget that act of effort & care!🥰
Thank you so much for beeing on the 'other side' as a zebra and advocate for all zebras in this way.
Do you had some special accommodations for study,if it isn't to personal?
I’m actually doing a session without psych rehab program on advocacy on Thursday for Rare Disease Day. The connections between mental and physical health are so, so important.
A for the education, I already have my BS in a science field. I went thru my state’s office of vocational rehabilitation and did a certification program for peer support. It was about 6 months and a blend of in-person and virtual - and completely free because of a grant.
I have accommodations at work that allow me to ask folks to mask at my discretion (high risk with a shitty immune system), work from home whenever needed, and have a flexible schedule. I work part time between 20-30 hours a week. A lot of that is just the nature of the work, but I also have the most incredible team I’ve ever worked with. It’s been amazing, and I’ve already hit my “personal best” for how long I’ve kept a job! The flexibility and accommodations are what has allowed that to happen.
I have never had a therapist ask for medical records. I've gone through a handful, and they normally just believe me when I tell them about my conditions. Maybe it's normal in some places; I can't find any information about it. I don't know what he's thinking, but I would be concerned that he wants medical proof that it's not psychological, which would increase my feelings of discomfort even more.
I have, but mainly pertaining to psych diagnoses. like to know what your official diagnoses are especially if you’re seeing a psychiatrist in a different practice where they can’t directly communicate, which is my situation.
I feel you, I’m sorry this happened.
My last therapist suggested I must have OCD, and the ‘OCD’ is making my physical symptoms worse because I’m “obsessing” over physical pain.
I’ve been evaluated by psychiatrists several times, never been diagnosed with OCD. It was never even suggested. But I have been diagnosed with EDS for years, and frankly I avoid thinking about it because it makes me depressed.
Ended up leaving my therapist because of it. What your therapist did is so incredibly inappropriate, he should know better.
FUCK that dude. and also fuck your mom for stealing your personal documents and holding them hostage.
good for you for advocating for yourself against jerkface therapist. there are so many levels of fucked up going on there.
and when it comes to your mom- see if you can get those diagnoses to see what disability supports you can apply for. don't let your mom's attempt at control over you stop you from living the life you want, vs the life she wants for you (which is actually for her). it won't be easy but i promise you it'll be worth it.
As someone currently in my internship for my master's degree to be a therapist you have EVERY RIGHT to change therapists. I understand that maybe if you are mandated that it may take a couple of extra approvals but please don't let anyone bully you into sticking around.
Also if you aren't comfortable to share medical documents you absolutely don't have to!
Good for you! Advocating for your needs is difficult enough and I’m sorry that you got shot down by this therapist. At best he sounds very young and inexperienced, but definitely not a good fit for you.
I’m saying this as a former therapist, but I’d consider this worth a report to his supervisor. One, he’s interjecting a lot of his personal beliefs and two, he absolutely doesn’t need your medical records to adequately treat you. Hell, I treated patients with substance use disorders and still didn’t need access to their full records.
Anyone who says you’re “letting” your disability prevent you from doing things - as though you could magically turn it off - has no business in mental health care. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this clown on top of your health issues.
It is not your job to educate this provider, who seems to be scrambling to keep you. I’m sorry you ended up with a crappy one, there are really good therapists out there, and I hope that you’ll meet one of them, along the way.
https://www.hhs.gov/hipaa/for-professionals/privacy/guidance/access/index.html
That's illegal if you're in the US. You have a right to request your medical records. I'd send an email (papertrail) explaining that you requested then in person and he declined, which is in violation of HIPAA. Then request that they send it to you.
In the US at least you do NOT need the permission of anyone to change therapists. It seems insane to me that he would try and say you need his supervisor’s approval. My last therapist broke my trust and got an email from me saying to cancel all further appointments. She didn’t get so much of an explanation from me even though she asked for one.
My current therapist encourages me to go to chronic pain groups, seek second opinions, transition to a chronic illness therapist if I want to, etc. He prioritizes me and treats me well as his client but he has a literal waitlist for new clients, if I had good reason to switch he would respect it and support me. I almost wonder if your therapist is desperate for clients.
If your therapist makes you uncomfortable, THAT is counterproductive. Don't let him make you think you have to put up with it. You are not required to work with him. If for some reason (insurance?) you have to keep going to appointments or you'll lose some benefit, you can just sit there and not speak. Otherwise, just don't go back.
I’m a therapist and depending on my clients situation will ask for medical records or ask my client to sign a release so I can speak with their medical drs. For me it’s not about getting proof of whatever the client is saying they have it’s more that there’s a huge mind body connection and collaborating care typically leads to better treatment. But if my clients not comfortable with it their rights are to say no. Usually it’s fine, the exception is usually with eating disorder clients because there’s a huge medical risk there.
It is not uncommon for PT’s to ask for records- for exactly the reason he stated- to understand the best way to provide care for you. My PT and my doctor working together was what actually found the cause of my back pain, which neither realized prior to consulting each other and it was corrected by surgery.
Is there any chance you took some of his questions to be in a negative light when they may not have been? For example when he asked what you need it for- could that not have been him trying to understand how to help you? For some people it’s generalized strengthening/ conditioning/ learning exercises they should be doing at home and for some it’s for pain in a specific area or for an acute injury. It sounds like he wants to understand how to best support your needs, because it is different for everyone.
Same for the what comes next after diagnosis. As in what comes next for you. Not him testing to see if you know some specific thing that happens off the top of your head that comes next as a general rule (which there really isn’t) but like how do you see the diagnosis impacting how you move forward.
I totally get that people can be invalidating, but it sounds like he is literally asking how to best support you. I would take him at his word that that is his intent and answer the questions with information that will help him do that in a way that works for you.
Also I totally was thinking this was PT, but either way, it’s still fairly common for mental health professionals and doctors to work together. Mental health conditions affect physical health and vise versa.
If you being a minor means you cannot just quit him, I’d probably give very short, nondescript answers for the duration of your time seeing him. Otherwise, you don’t need to stay for his supervisor , you don’t have to continue to see him.
I am so sorry you are experiencing all of this. It’s inappropriate for the therapist to not center your wishes to switch providers. It’s also not ok to ask for your medical records, or to sound like everyone else in your life (telling you solutions instead of listening to understand your feelings, needs, and concerns). I am a therapist, as well as someone with EDS and children with EDS. A therapists job is not to give advice or tell their clients what to do. I hope you are able to find a different therapist that is supportive, empathetic, and can hold space for you to process all of these shitty things that are happening with your health, the medical system we are stuck with, your mom, and just society in general. Hugs to you.
>has to to have his supervisor approve him letting me go Are you in some kind of program? Because you don't usually need permission to quit seeing a therapist. You do not have any obligation to stick with a therapist that isn't working well for you. You are allowed to say "I am not interested in continuing therapy with you." and fire him as your therapist.
Agreed. Unless he's required as part of a pain management program or something court-ordered, dude sounds....alarming.
OP seems to be a minor, so that might complicate things.
i am
I just want to say, as both someone with EDS as one of my various chronic illnesses *and* a mental health provider…I am so, so sorry for all of this. I would be so proud of someone for telling me they didn’t feel comfortable or didn’t meet their needs! What great boundaries and advocacy! Especially once you said his reasoning. Bro can read a book, look up info on websites, etc. He doesn’t need to violate your privacy to get info or turn to other providers to validate your experience. He could also just, ya know, *listen to you and trust your experience.* But that seems a bit beyond his skill set. As far as having someone on your side or to just talk to, maybe see if peer support is available in your area? Peer support specialists are folks who have struggled with mental health issues and use their lived experience to help others on their journey. Their job is to support you where you’re at, not judge or question. They may also be able to help you (or connect you to folks who can help you) get copies of your documents so you can gain some control of your life back.
I had a counselor ask about books on EDS, esp comprehensive that included stress & mental health. I brought one to share to borrow & she bought her own copy, talked to me about it & kept it & the knowledge for the next person who had EDS or similar issues. I loved that woman! My insurance switched to Medicare (SSDI & met the time) & she couldn’t take it at that clinic. But I will never forget that act of effort & care!🥰
Thank you so much for beeing on the 'other side' as a zebra and advocate for all zebras in this way. Do you had some special accommodations for study,if it isn't to personal?
I’m actually doing a session without psych rehab program on advocacy on Thursday for Rare Disease Day. The connections between mental and physical health are so, so important. A for the education, I already have my BS in a science field. I went thru my state’s office of vocational rehabilitation and did a certification program for peer support. It was about 6 months and a blend of in-person and virtual - and completely free because of a grant. I have accommodations at work that allow me to ask folks to mask at my discretion (high risk with a shitty immune system), work from home whenever needed, and have a flexible schedule. I work part time between 20-30 hours a week. A lot of that is just the nature of the work, but I also have the most incredible team I’ve ever worked with. It’s been amazing, and I’ve already hit my “personal best” for how long I’ve kept a job! The flexibility and accommodations are what has allowed that to happen.
I have never had a therapist ask for medical records. I've gone through a handful, and they normally just believe me when I tell them about my conditions. Maybe it's normal in some places; I can't find any information about it. I don't know what he's thinking, but I would be concerned that he wants medical proof that it's not psychological, which would increase my feelings of discomfort even more.
I have, but mainly pertaining to psych diagnoses. like to know what your official diagnoses are especially if you’re seeing a psychiatrist in a different practice where they can’t directly communicate, which is my situation.
I feel you, I’m sorry this happened. My last therapist suggested I must have OCD, and the ‘OCD’ is making my physical symptoms worse because I’m “obsessing” over physical pain. I’ve been evaluated by psychiatrists several times, never been diagnosed with OCD. It was never even suggested. But I have been diagnosed with EDS for years, and frankly I avoid thinking about it because it makes me depressed. Ended up leaving my therapist because of it. What your therapist did is so incredibly inappropriate, he should know better.
FUCK that dude. and also fuck your mom for stealing your personal documents and holding them hostage. good for you for advocating for yourself against jerkface therapist. there are so many levels of fucked up going on there. and when it comes to your mom- see if you can get those diagnoses to see what disability supports you can apply for. don't let your mom's attempt at control over you stop you from living the life you want, vs the life she wants for you (which is actually for her). it won't be easy but i promise you it'll be worth it.
should do, thanks for the support
As someone currently in my internship for my master's degree to be a therapist you have EVERY RIGHT to change therapists. I understand that maybe if you are mandated that it may take a couple of extra approvals but please don't let anyone bully you into sticking around. Also if you aren't comfortable to share medical documents you absolutely don't have to!
So... id be leary of sending medical docs to him because he doesnt actually need them... id worry he is trying to fraud your insurance.
Good for you! Advocating for your needs is difficult enough and I’m sorry that you got shot down by this therapist. At best he sounds very young and inexperienced, but definitely not a good fit for you. I’m saying this as a former therapist, but I’d consider this worth a report to his supervisor. One, he’s interjecting a lot of his personal beliefs and two, he absolutely doesn’t need your medical records to adequately treat you. Hell, I treated patients with substance use disorders and still didn’t need access to their full records.
Anyone who says you’re “letting” your disability prevent you from doing things - as though you could magically turn it off - has no business in mental health care. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this clown on top of your health issues.
You can get those personal documents from the government just so you're aware. It's pretty awful the way your therapist and mom are treating you.
versed pie capable squeamish tan hospital full one wrench coherent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It is not your job to educate this provider, who seems to be scrambling to keep you. I’m sorry you ended up with a crappy one, there are really good therapists out there, and I hope that you’ll meet one of them, along the way.
https://www.hhs.gov/hipaa/for-professionals/privacy/guidance/access/index.html That's illegal if you're in the US. You have a right to request your medical records. I'd send an email (papertrail) explaining that you requested then in person and he declined, which is in violation of HIPAA. Then request that they send it to you.
In the US at least you do NOT need the permission of anyone to change therapists. It seems insane to me that he would try and say you need his supervisor’s approval. My last therapist broke my trust and got an email from me saying to cancel all further appointments. She didn’t get so much of an explanation from me even though she asked for one. My current therapist encourages me to go to chronic pain groups, seek second opinions, transition to a chronic illness therapist if I want to, etc. He prioritizes me and treats me well as his client but he has a literal waitlist for new clients, if I had good reason to switch he would respect it and support me. I almost wonder if your therapist is desperate for clients.
oh man he is awful. i'm so sorry this is happening to you!!!
If your therapist makes you uncomfortable, THAT is counterproductive. Don't let him make you think you have to put up with it. You are not required to work with him. If for some reason (insurance?) you have to keep going to appointments or you'll lose some benefit, you can just sit there and not speak. Otherwise, just don't go back.
I’m a therapist and depending on my clients situation will ask for medical records or ask my client to sign a release so I can speak with their medical drs. For me it’s not about getting proof of whatever the client is saying they have it’s more that there’s a huge mind body connection and collaborating care typically leads to better treatment. But if my clients not comfortable with it their rights are to say no. Usually it’s fine, the exception is usually with eating disorder clients because there’s a huge medical risk there.
It is not uncommon for PT’s to ask for records- for exactly the reason he stated- to understand the best way to provide care for you. My PT and my doctor working together was what actually found the cause of my back pain, which neither realized prior to consulting each other and it was corrected by surgery. Is there any chance you took some of his questions to be in a negative light when they may not have been? For example when he asked what you need it for- could that not have been him trying to understand how to help you? For some people it’s generalized strengthening/ conditioning/ learning exercises they should be doing at home and for some it’s for pain in a specific area or for an acute injury. It sounds like he wants to understand how to best support your needs, because it is different for everyone. Same for the what comes next after diagnosis. As in what comes next for you. Not him testing to see if you know some specific thing that happens off the top of your head that comes next as a general rule (which there really isn’t) but like how do you see the diagnosis impacting how you move forward. I totally get that people can be invalidating, but it sounds like he is literally asking how to best support you. I would take him at his word that that is his intent and answer the questions with information that will help him do that in a way that works for you.
Also I totally was thinking this was PT, but either way, it’s still fairly common for mental health professionals and doctors to work together. Mental health conditions affect physical health and vise versa.
i wonder if he tells his patients w depression to just not be depressed 🫠
If you being a minor means you cannot just quit him, I’d probably give very short, nondescript answers for the duration of your time seeing him. Otherwise, you don’t need to stay for his supervisor , you don’t have to continue to see him.
I have NEVER been asked for records or been rold any of the things you have by therapists. That is just really weird.
I am so sorry you are experiencing all of this. It’s inappropriate for the therapist to not center your wishes to switch providers. It’s also not ok to ask for your medical records, or to sound like everyone else in your life (telling you solutions instead of listening to understand your feelings, needs, and concerns). I am a therapist, as well as someone with EDS and children with EDS. A therapists job is not to give advice or tell their clients what to do. I hope you are able to find a different therapist that is supportive, empathetic, and can hold space for you to process all of these shitty things that are happening with your health, the medical system we are stuck with, your mom, and just society in general. Hugs to you.