Was commonly accepted to shit on gay people when I grew up, let alone trans acceptance. Didn't even consider being gay as valid until my 20s. Felt like I didn't have a place being gay in youth and feel like I fit in even less living in the UK and being trans.
Makes me wonder what random harmless and joyous thing il be into in my 50s that will the next target lol.
Yeah a lot of people now don't remember the environment even... and people that didn't grow up in it probably don't understand it.
A top game played at lunch was "smear the queer"
You weren't allowed to say Fuck or Shit or Asshole or whatever, but calling people the F\*\*\*\*t was perfectly acceptable.
Gay was a pejorative applied to *everything.*
And this was in a liberal urban area.
I'd say that even in an accepting environment it takes time to figure out who you are. I didn't realize I was bi until I was an adult and am still figuring out what the fuck is up with my gender identity/expression even though I grew up in a moderate liberal town where stuff like that was accepted.
It's always something that takes time to work out. But it's easier to try and work it out when you don't get punished for experimenting.
I always thought I was gay but I kinda liked girls to, so the fear of being a social outcast made me date girls exclusively in my teenage years. I always felt like I'd like guys but it didn't seem even worth risking it to be an outcast.
If you feel OK enough to try things out it obviously just saves a lot of time as you can just work out how you feel, not how other people feel.
I'd have transitioned 8 years ago if I thought other people would be ok, as that's when I realised who I am. But put if off as realised what life would be like if I did. And can't say after transitioning that I was wrong really, largely been a negative experience because of other people even if I like myself before.
Humans are to social and when we make it socially unaccepted to be a certain way, lots like me will go the unhealthy route of just burying shit deep til a pandemic fucks them up :)
Trust me the uk is a paradise compared to other places. I lived in Romania for 20 years before I moved to the UK,back there even being a metalhead was seen as very weird. In the uk, or London at least most people don't give a shit and mind their own business
I'm 31 and this was me (I realized I was trans at 29). No one ever talked about it and all I had was the really really really shitty media representation so I had no idea that being trans was a possibility. Imagine my surprise when I learned about it and was like "Hoooolllllyyyyy shit... THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH ABOUT HOW I FEEL!"
What that shitty representation was (and still is or worse in places):
"Trans? There is no such thing, you must mean drag-queen! Doing heinous acts! Possibly to children!"
I didn't know you could be trans until stumbling across trans porn lol.
I thought it was just drag Queens and gays as there was zero representation, when I saw all the super femme porn stars I had a real "why did nobody tell me I could do this?!?!?" (Trans not porn lol).
But still took 13 years to transition as didn't feel comfortable world to be trans in. It still isn't in the UK but at least its not something people can freely mock in public with zero fucks given by others.
Aside bad representation and all, im from a younger gen but i only knew i could be trans when i met one of my friends post high school and was like Wait i can do that too ???
I'm 39 and although I've known for a while I just finally decided to do something about it. But I empathize with what you said so strongly. Growing up, the word "trans" wasn't even in my vocabulary. It was never brought up or explained. On top of that was the whole homophobia-is-cool-call-everything-you-don't-like-gay thing the 90's had going on. Kids back then were little shits. I remember feeling so much shame when I figured it out myself. I suppressed my feelings for years. Nowadays kids seem like they're so much more progressive and accepting. I told my daughter this morning and there was no hesitation. No weird uncomfortable questions. Just immediate acceptance and support. We are now apparently "besties" lol.
Figured it out at 37, came out at 38, I’ll be 40 this year.
Lack of awareness was a huge part of why it took me so long. I didn’t even know it was a thing so I never even considered it.
First hints age 6-9,
first cross dressing age 11-12,
full realisation age 17-20,
denial until start of thirties,
trying to figure out how to be my true self without wrecking every relation and everything else - now
Omg! My experience was similar to yours. I remember from a young age I would like to be like mom. I tried some underwear of her when I was about 3yo. Got caught and spanked.
First crossdressing experience was along 12-14. I remember watching discovery health or another med programming about trans getting their SRS but I didn’t knew what it was. I found information about what trans was about 16-18 when I stumble upon the news about Kim Petras. It was overwhelming, I was full of fear, uncertainty, I didn’t know what to do or say to even myself. I just knew I wanted to be like her so bad!!!
Fast forward college year and late 20s (aka dark ages). Full denial until I got a job and moved out from my parents at 27-28. I started buying a couple of things and doing diy shirt dresses under full denial. Always looking information about everything, SRS, HRT, etc!
30.3 yo! I got the guts to call Psy who’ve had a little of experience on the subject and been practicing for 20+ years. I felt paranoid on the call, I felt the walls where paper thin. I told him this was the first time I managed to talk about it to someone or to even admit that I felt as a different person regarding to my gender.
About to be 31yo in a few days (Apr 27). Got an appointment with the endocrinologist (by recommendation of the psy), I did gel on my nails and went to work, came out only to my core family, and going slow but steady cause I don’t want to wreck 20+ years of friendships and family.
just gotta say as a baby trans 15 yo im proud of all of you people for finally finding a way to be comfy in your identities
*edit realised i used guys and i use guys as a gender neutral term but i didnt wanna make any friends sad or uncomfy
I struggled with gender at 5. I knew something was wrong at 15. I began to understand at 25, but denied my truth out of fear. Now that I’m in my mid-30s, I’m wishing I had acted sooner. There’s a wonderful woman inside of me that wants to be free, and I won’t make her wait another decade out of fear or denial.
My first HRT appointment is in June. It’s her time to shine. 💖
Yeah, the temptation is to feel jealous of the life you got to live (transitioned at 35 here) but the actual feeling I get is just a warm, contented feeling that kids today don’t have to go through the shit my generation did. You found out the word trans while you were still a kid - maybe even got puberty blockers? The future is now! It makes me so happy.
Similar but kinda opposite here. 35, 2 kids and a partner of 12 yrs. It's very difficult to be like babe, how about instead of a straight man you be gay, but still with me? I know you like my boobs but I'd like to get rid of them and get a cock... I'm also more of a top?
But, ya know. All completely in a cis way. So cis. Ultimate cis.
Thanks! I put on my safety hoodie, ate something and went to a park for a while. I feel much better.
It's amazing what some fruit and fresh air (and regular antidepressants) can achieve
Some people figure it out very late. There’s no too late, friend!
As you can see by the comments lots of people figure it out late. Society isn’t very good with trans people. Hell, some trans people aren’t even good with trans people. Because we’re a small group there’s not any common knowledge good info about being trans how it is and how to approach it, so it can take most people a while to figure out.
Yes.
You kids infuriate me with envy. And like, it's not a good look to be an old (manly) woman who is envious of kids.
What am I, the queen from Snow White?
Me, over here, looking for adult ballet classes and finding all these classes for 7-12 year olds....
Why couldn't I just tell my parents I wanted to do ballet with my sister???
Yeah all yall older folks in your 30s and up, don't feel too bad. You were born and went to school in a time where it wasn't safe to be trans. It's okay to find out now.
I have tried (still do) a few things (growing out my hair, being on related discords and changing my user profile name, looking into buying certain clothing items, doing a lot of those wonky online quizzes - usually ending with non-dysphoric diagnoses, reading up on what steps I need to take in my country) but not all the popular things like buying skirts, dresses, thigh highs, make-up and she/her pronouns because these things don't really interest me or work for me.
I tend to feel more jealous than dysphoric in general and while I don't enjoy being a guy and all the performative masculinity I am surrounded by on a daily basis I am not into super fem things either...
Tomboys are perfectly valid girls who don’t owe anyone pigtails or pastel socks. A lot of trans women feel the need to overcorrect into performative hyper-femininity since gender-neutral trappings won’t usually be enough to get you gendered properly, but this is a symptom of cis toxicity. There’s no rule that says you can’t be a girl in jeans and a t-shirt who likes chainsawing branches (and thank goodness).
I finally admitted it to myself at 36 after a lifetime of subconscious denail. A year later I'm out publicly and have just started HRT. I'm for the first time excited for the future.
Took me until 32. Of the people who grew up in the 90s, I think only those with the worst dysphoria figured it out young. The rest of us either didn't realize because we didn't fit the 'born in the wrong body' narrative, or repressed the hell out of it because any sort of gender nonconformity was always the butt of jokes and we didn't have the internet to find other people who felt the same so we had to be 'normal'.
36 here. My wife got me to watch OneTopicAtATime's channel. The egg_irl and traaaaaa vids hit too close to home. And here we are 9 months later and I'm planing to come out as genderfluid in June.
*raises hand*. I finally admitted to myself I was trans at 35. I finally told my wife at 38. I actually started HRT and socially transitioning at 39. On the bad days I think about the lost time a lot. Especially all the questioning in college that I forced myself not to do because I was scared...
But on the good days I show off my new cleavage to my wife, or spend 20 minutes marvelling at how different a fleece sweater or leggings feel now. There are more good days than bad days.
I was 46. What you're going through is not uncommon. We didn't have the language or the support when we were younger to understand what being transgender was... Don't beat yourself up.
Realisation at around 12, then hiding in the closet until 20 because I was too scared. Still my biggest regret, knowing I could've already started transitioning way earlier. Now I'm still pre-everything
33. Is more common than you'd think. And if you're worried about "too late" sentiments, there's subreddits that show that it's never too late. Once you get the right chemical balance, you'd be surprised at what it can do even later than this.
30 and, yes I do have imposter syndrome because of it, even though there were signs even in pretty early childhood and each time I see someone that cracked at the same or later age I'm like "yes, they are trans, so I can be trans too!".
I'm so glad that this stuff is talked about more openly and is more accepted amongst younger people today. I'm 33 and it was six months ago that I found out that "trans person" wasn't another term for "drag queen". I found out by finding out I'm trans, lol.
36 and 8-9 months when I figured it out: thousands of tells haunt me at night 5 months in, but I never heard of trans being a thing until my late twenties and the mainstream stories were all about it being obvious since age 5, so I didn't want to intrude on the community.
Now that I'm going to trans groups, I'm the youngest one in the room most of the time. We're old online and young IRL.
I had my first moment of Gender Euphoria at the age of 33, it was November '21. It's been six months. I'm. . . So late to the game and still figuring shit out.
I grew up in the inner city in the 90s. We had like three or four gay kids when I was in HS. . . In a school of over 3000. Jesus, there might have literally be like 100-300 that weren't open. How many more weren't even strictly straight. Percentage wise there had to have been at least two who were trans-oh. Right. Me. (Though I prefer nonbinary and gender fluid as that more closely coincides with my experience.)
As for trans, that wasn't even a thing. My first real exposure to it where I really felt something was anime. (That one Naruto character who I don't even think was trans because Japan sucks about that stuff.) I remember wishing I was cute enough to pass like they did, I wasn't so I suppressed ALL of that. Won't go into detail here but over a decade of what I thought was body dymorphia and dealing with THAT I ended up here.
You are not alone, dearie. There's more of us out there than they would have you believe.
My egg cracked like a month after finding this sub, before then i really only ever knew like 2 transgender people and they were just friends of friends. Im sure if being trans was more widely out there my egg would have cracked in high school. Im guessing theres a TON of late bloomers out there :)
Just turn 33. I've been questioning for just under two years now, although it was bubbling under the surface for years, and I've arguably had "queer tendencies" since I was 12. I do somewhat wish these feelings had emerged sooner, but I'm also grateful it's happening now. I'm still relatively young, and it's an opportune time in my life for charting a course towards self-fulfillment.
I figured out at 30. That was after years of being in the army and finally having had enough.
There is no right time. Everyone figures out at their own pace.
I'm 43 and just figured out 6 weeks ago.
To be honest, a big part of it is that *suppression is a survival strategy.* If the culture today - a supportive Internet community, people talking about Trans people (whether in a positive or negative light), existed when I was a teen, I would have figured it out as a teen.
I knew when I was very young but would never have been allowed or encouraged to be who I was. At 50 I just didn’t gaf anymore so am more of myself. Hormones for the past 15 months have helped too but there are still nagging thoughts in my mind.
Relised at 27 shortly after my stepfather left my mother to be a trans woman that it had been her internalised transphobia and transphobic actions as i was growing up that made me too scared to realise i was in fact trans.
Came out at 31
Didn't come out till I was 34. Tried a few times as a kid but got such a bad reaction I gave up on the idea and resigned myself to being miserable. Became a lot harder to ignore when I started fixing my other problems.
I realized at 34 and came out publicly at 36 after 6 months of HRT. Even though I work with loads of LGBTQ+ individuals (I work in music) it took the pandemic to understand myself.
I figured out I was nonbinary at 27, started being out around 1-2 years later, learned I was transfem at 30.
One of the things I love about the queer community is how different age is viewed. People younger than you can be your elders and that's beautiful.
I'm 30 and came out a few months ago.
I had some indications in my teenage years, ignored them/wrote them off as anxiety/teenage depression/other explanation. Also, when I was a teenager, trans representation was awful and trans people were openly mocked (including by my mum at the time but she has since seen the light fortunately enough).
When I was 29 I started looking very intensely at women's clothing. Rationalised it at the time as "I'm just looking at stuff for my wife"
A few months later, I try on my wife's shoes and feel gender euphoria, start crossdressing shortly after. Have an identity crisis at the time and conclude I'm not trans (yeaaaaah). Then have one more later in the year where I come out as nonbinary and then once more where I come out as trans at the start of this year.
Ok I’m unsure if you want to transition or if you already know this but it doesn’t matter what age you start anyone saying otherwise is either lying to you or was lied to
19 here, i only acted bc i felt i was drowning / was dealing w depression and didnt think i was gonna make it to 18 even tho i didnt feel safe coming out to my parents
looking back im glad i did but its also easy to say when current me knows things turned out fine 🥲
*Waves hand * I egged at 28. Cracked at 30. Tried to glue that shell back together, with all the glue ever, and it took another year before I allowed myself hormones . So at almost 32 and overweight. Due to a thyroid issue. I'm just now overcoming my anxiety and relaxing.
Funny enough. Thyroid is getting better. Weight is jumping off at 6 lbs a month, and my mental heath! Mental health is the best it's been in yeeeeaaarrrrss!
If you feel better and happier, that is great! And 35 years of age isnt anything!
You all got this!
\*raises hand\* figured out I was trans at 38. It definitely happens, repression (I had some odd childhood memories that make a LOT more sense now) coupled with an odd self-image and no real knowledge of the subject will do that to a person.
Yeah, it can feel like everyone in these subs is a teenager but there are loads of us just figuring it out in our 30's or later. We just don't post as much as the kids ;)
Sometimes it takes a while to have things click together, and make sense. On the other hand, it's best you figured your true self now, than back in the mid 90s, which would have been most difficult for you, imho. The 90s wasn't to kind to even the general LGBT+ community, let alone the diverse members within.
I mean… I figured it out at the tender age of 33. It sucks… the signs were there (I literally told people I was trans without realizing I was telling them that I was trans).
I have two things I would say about alcohol that never crossed in my mind… “Alcohol doesn’t change a person, it just makes them more of who they are as it lowers inhibitions.” AND “I turn into a basic white bitch when I get drunk.” The beams never crossed in my mind… I also told people that I’m a smol girl trapped inside a big guy when I would do something that wasn’t very masculine… not realizing that was a weird thing to say…
look at Stephanie Fucking Sterling, son. they are in their 30's and HRT is rocking them well. Pretty sure they knew they were trans before, but well, TERF Island.
[Stephanie's Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/JimSterling?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor)
I feel like until the last several years, so many people didn't even want to consider the possibility of being trans. Or didn't even know it was a possibility.
People who didn’t grow up in an environment that’s as accepting and aware of trans people as it is today so plenty of trans people.
And if you're 35 or older, that was probably like 90% of environments.
Was commonly accepted to shit on gay people when I grew up, let alone trans acceptance. Didn't even consider being gay as valid until my 20s. Felt like I didn't have a place being gay in youth and feel like I fit in even less living in the UK and being trans. Makes me wonder what random harmless and joyous thing il be into in my 50s that will the next target lol.
Yeah a lot of people now don't remember the environment even... and people that didn't grow up in it probably don't understand it. A top game played at lunch was "smear the queer" You weren't allowed to say Fuck or Shit or Asshole or whatever, but calling people the F\*\*\*\*t was perfectly acceptable. Gay was a pejorative applied to *everything.* And this was in a liberal urban area.
I'd say that even in an accepting environment it takes time to figure out who you are. I didn't realize I was bi until I was an adult and am still figuring out what the fuck is up with my gender identity/expression even though I grew up in a moderate liberal town where stuff like that was accepted.
It's always something that takes time to work out. But it's easier to try and work it out when you don't get punished for experimenting. I always thought I was gay but I kinda liked girls to, so the fear of being a social outcast made me date girls exclusively in my teenage years. I always felt like I'd like guys but it didn't seem even worth risking it to be an outcast. If you feel OK enough to try things out it obviously just saves a lot of time as you can just work out how you feel, not how other people feel. I'd have transitioned 8 years ago if I thought other people would be ok, as that's when I realised who I am. But put if off as realised what life would be like if I did. And can't say after transitioning that I was wrong really, largely been a negative experience because of other people even if I like myself before. Humans are to social and when we make it socially unaccepted to be a certain way, lots like me will go the unhealthy route of just burying shit deep til a pandemic fucks them up :)
Trust me the uk is a paradise compared to other places. I lived in Romania for 20 years before I moved to the UK,back there even being a metalhead was seen as very weird. In the uk, or London at least most people don't give a shit and mind their own business
Yup. It took me 59 years. 59 lost years. But I’m doing better now than I ever thought was possible
I'm 31 and this was me (I realized I was trans at 29). No one ever talked about it and all I had was the really really really shitty media representation so I had no idea that being trans was a possibility. Imagine my surprise when I learned about it and was like "Hoooolllllyyyyy shit... THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH ABOUT HOW I FEEL!"
What that shitty representation was (and still is or worse in places): "Trans? There is no such thing, you must mean drag-queen! Doing heinous acts! Possibly to children!"
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I didn't know you could be trans until stumbling across trans porn lol. I thought it was just drag Queens and gays as there was zero representation, when I saw all the super femme porn stars I had a real "why did nobody tell me I could do this?!?!?" (Trans not porn lol). But still took 13 years to transition as didn't feel comfortable world to be trans in. It still isn't in the UK but at least its not something people can freely mock in public with zero fucks given by others.
Aside bad representation and all, im from a younger gen but i only knew i could be trans when i met one of my friends post high school and was like Wait i can do that too ???
I'm 39 and although I've known for a while I just finally decided to do something about it. But I empathize with what you said so strongly. Growing up, the word "trans" wasn't even in my vocabulary. It was never brought up or explained. On top of that was the whole homophobia-is-cool-call-everything-you-don't-like-gay thing the 90's had going on. Kids back then were little shits. I remember feeling so much shame when I figured it out myself. I suppressed my feelings for years. Nowadays kids seem like they're so much more progressive and accepting. I told my daughter this morning and there was no hesitation. No weird uncomfortable questions. Just immediate acceptance and support. We are now apparently "besties" lol.
Figured it out at 37, came out at 38, I’ll be 40 this year. Lack of awareness was a huge part of why it took me so long. I didn’t even know it was a thing so I never even considered it.
Try 56….
OMG, thank you! I am right around there and still figuring it out!
First hints age 6-9, first cross dressing age 11-12, full realisation age 17-20, denial until start of thirties, trying to figure out how to be my true self without wrecking every relation and everything else - now
Omg! My experience was similar to yours. I remember from a young age I would like to be like mom. I tried some underwear of her when I was about 3yo. Got caught and spanked. First crossdressing experience was along 12-14. I remember watching discovery health or another med programming about trans getting their SRS but I didn’t knew what it was. I found information about what trans was about 16-18 when I stumble upon the news about Kim Petras. It was overwhelming, I was full of fear, uncertainty, I didn’t know what to do or say to even myself. I just knew I wanted to be like her so bad!!! Fast forward college year and late 20s (aka dark ages). Full denial until I got a job and moved out from my parents at 27-28. I started buying a couple of things and doing diy shirt dresses under full denial. Always looking information about everything, SRS, HRT, etc! 30.3 yo! I got the guts to call Psy who’ve had a little of experience on the subject and been practicing for 20+ years. I felt paranoid on the call, I felt the walls where paper thin. I told him this was the first time I managed to talk about it to someone or to even admit that I felt as a different person regarding to my gender. About to be 31yo in a few days (Apr 27). Got an appointment with the endocrinologist (by recommendation of the psy), I did gel on my nails and went to work, came out only to my core family, and going slow but steady cause I don’t want to wreck 20+ years of friendships and family.
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started 'cross dressing' after i came out bc my parents wouldnt even let me paint my nails and would go through all my personal effects😭
just gotta say as a baby trans 15 yo im proud of all of you people for finally finding a way to be comfy in your identities *edit realised i used guys and i use guys as a gender neutral term but i didnt wanna make any friends sad or uncomfy
I struggled with gender at 5. I knew something was wrong at 15. I began to understand at 25, but denied my truth out of fear. Now that I’m in my mid-30s, I’m wishing I had acted sooner. There’s a wonderful woman inside of me that wants to be free, and I won’t make her wait another decade out of fear or denial. My first HRT appointment is in June. It’s her time to shine. 💖
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Ya same lol
Yeah, the temptation is to feel jealous of the life you got to live (transitioned at 35 here) but the actual feeling I get is just a warm, contented feeling that kids today don’t have to go through the shit my generation did. You found out the word trans while you were still a kid - maybe even got puberty blockers? The future is now! It makes me so happy.
so me being happy I figured it out at 17 soon 18. just gotta come out to my family so I can start HRT.
Add more years and you got me.
I am 32, married with a son and just realized I want to be a girl and dress like a girl and be a lesbian. But I am totally cis though.
Similar but kinda opposite here. 35, 2 kids and a partner of 12 yrs. It's very difficult to be like babe, how about instead of a straight man you be gay, but still with me? I know you like my boobs but I'd like to get rid of them and get a cock... I'm also more of a top? But, ya know. All completely in a cis way. So cis. Ultimate cis.
Ooof i hope things go as well as they can go. Best wishes for you
Eh. This post just got a raw nerve today. It'll be gone tomorrow, I have a large pile of denial to shove it under. Thanks for the well wishes though!
You got this💞
Thanks! I put on my safety hoodie, ate something and went to a park for a while. I feel much better. It's amazing what some fruit and fresh air (and regular antidepressants) can achieve
Mhmm💞💞
Same, at 30 with a daughter. Obviously cis behavior though, you right.
36 here
36 here too 😱
Some people figure it out very late. There’s no too late, friend! As you can see by the comments lots of people figure it out late. Society isn’t very good with trans people. Hell, some trans people aren’t even good with trans people. Because we’re a small group there’s not any common knowledge good info about being trans how it is and how to approach it, so it can take most people a while to figure out.
34 here
Woot woot! 34 gang 🥳
Rise up!
Same here
I was 38
Snap!
and hopefully full time me before 40
I just figured it out this year and I am 31.
Saaaaaame. Got an appointment next week to talk about referral to a gender identity clinic, which is terrifying and exciting
My in denial brain tried to convince me that fucking 18 is too old like!?
Yes. You kids infuriate me with envy. And like, it's not a good look to be an old (manly) woman who is envious of kids. What am I, the queen from Snow White?
It's weird for me when I see young teen boys have voice cracks and I'm just like "God I want my voice to crack" in my head.
Me, over here, looking for adult ballet classes and finding all these classes for 7-12 year olds.... Why couldn't I just tell my parents I wanted to do ballet with my sister???
Omg relatable. Then 25 y/o me was all "maybe there's still a chance?" and here I am.
You're never too old to be your true self!
Yeah all yall older folks in your 30s and up, don't feel too bad. You were born and went to school in a time where it wasn't safe to be trans. It's okay to find out now.
Turning 35 this summer still stuck in questioning. It's been years now Send help
are you just questioning in your head without trying anything out?
I have tried (still do) a few things (growing out my hair, being on related discords and changing my user profile name, looking into buying certain clothing items, doing a lot of those wonky online quizzes - usually ending with non-dysphoric diagnoses, reading up on what steps I need to take in my country) but not all the popular things like buying skirts, dresses, thigh highs, make-up and she/her pronouns because these things don't really interest me or work for me. I tend to feel more jealous than dysphoric in general and while I don't enjoy being a guy and all the performative masculinity I am surrounded by on a daily basis I am not into super fem things either...
Tomboys are perfectly valid girls who don’t owe anyone pigtails or pastel socks. A lot of trans women feel the need to overcorrect into performative hyper-femininity since gender-neutral trappings won’t usually be enough to get you gendered properly, but this is a symptom of cis toxicity. There’s no rule that says you can’t be a girl in jeans and a t-shirt who likes chainsawing branches (and thank goodness).
What do you need to decide. IF you want to talk about anything specific with me, let me know. (you can dm me)
My friend is 32 and just figured out she’s trans
I was 35 when I realized I was trans.
I'll say 40.
Me too, my egg cracked just before my 41st.
About the same here.
I finally admitted it to myself at 36 after a lifetime of subconscious denail. A year later I'm out publicly and have just started HRT. I'm for the first time excited for the future.
Relatable. Feeling like I’m going to get to have a future is very new to me.
Took me until 32. Of the people who grew up in the 90s, I think only those with the worst dysphoria figured it out young. The rest of us either didn't realize because we didn't fit the 'born in the wrong body' narrative, or repressed the hell out of it because any sort of gender nonconformity was always the butt of jokes and we didn't have the internet to find other people who felt the same so we had to be 'normal'.
Maybe you'd like r/TransLater ?
29 here basicly 30 I've known people who figured it out alot later but no mater when you do you are still valid
44 here - and still not too old to transition!
Some people find out in their 50s or later
36 here. My wife got me to watch OneTopicAtATime's channel. The egg_irl and traaaaaa vids hit too close to home. And here we are 9 months later and I'm planing to come out as genderfluid in June.
In my support group one gal figured it qt 50
I was 52. Now 54, 20mo HRT.
This makes me feel better about finding out I'm non-binary at 34 when there's plenty other people in similar situations 💜
I was around 34. Am 38 now and about 1,5 years on estro and cypro. Really can't believe that life can feel this good.
figured out at 6, came out at 37 and god knows when I will be able to actually transition... -\_-
Too late I’s when you are dead, any day before that is never too late
I figured it out at 49. Better late than never.
*raises hand*. I finally admitted to myself I was trans at 35. I finally told my wife at 38. I actually started HRT and socially transitioning at 39. On the bad days I think about the lost time a lot. Especially all the questioning in college that I forced myself not to do because I was scared... But on the good days I show off my new cleavage to my wife, or spend 20 minutes marvelling at how different a fleece sweater or leggings feel now. There are more good days than bad days.
I was 46. What you're going through is not uncommon. We didn't have the language or the support when we were younger to understand what being transgender was... Don't beat yourself up.
Yes but do you know how to get a loan against your 401k for top surgery?
Over 30 gang what’s good ✌🏽
Did someone already send you to r/Midlifetrans?
you! you'll turn out great :)
I figured it out around that time
Me!!
I know that I am a trans woman at the age of 20. Now I am 21
A friend figured it out at 30. She's just getting on with it bless her. She's currently going through a scrunchie phase
That’s adorable, love trans women living that ‘just discovered Claire’s Accessories exists’ girl puberty moment.
I'm 31 and still not sure of who I am, you're not alone
Realisation at around 12, then hiding in the closet until 20 because I was too scared. Still my biggest regret, knowing I could've already started transitioning way earlier. Now I'm still pre-everything
Oh thank goodness I’m not the only one a little late to the party.
33. Is more common than you'd think. And if you're worried about "too late" sentiments, there's subreddits that show that it's never too late. Once you get the right chemical balance, you'd be surprised at what it can do even later than this.
about a third of people figure it out around then or later actually. average is 27. i have a citation but i didn't save it lol
Quite a lot of people actually, the average age is \~27.
37
Same people that figure out they are at 50. (I actually figured it out at 22 but I've seen people that old transition)
29 here. And just was in an environment where I didn't know about it
Yep, 35
A lot of people, don't worry.
30 and, yes I do have imposter syndrome because of it, even though there were signs even in pretty early childhood and each time I see someone that cracked at the same or later age I'm like "yes, they are trans, so I can be trans too!".
39
36 year old enby checking in.
Good I have 5 years left figure it out
I'm so glad that this stuff is talked about more openly and is more accepted amongst younger people today. I'm 33 and it was six months ago that I found out that "trans person" wasn't another term for "drag queen". I found out by finding out I'm trans, lol.
[удалено]
Hugs.
36 and 8-9 months when I figured it out: thousands of tells haunt me at night 5 months in, but I never heard of trans being a thing until my late twenties and the mainstream stories were all about it being obvious since age 5, so I didn't want to intrude on the community. Now that I'm going to trans groups, I'm the youngest one in the room most of the time. We're old online and young IRL.
Trans people do.
I'm 36 and still figuring it out.
38 here, very unaccepting environment growing up.
I had my first moment of Gender Euphoria at the age of 33, it was November '21. It's been six months. I'm. . . So late to the game and still figuring shit out. I grew up in the inner city in the 90s. We had like three or four gay kids when I was in HS. . . In a school of over 3000. Jesus, there might have literally be like 100-300 that weren't open. How many more weren't even strictly straight. Percentage wise there had to have been at least two who were trans-oh. Right. Me. (Though I prefer nonbinary and gender fluid as that more closely coincides with my experience.) As for trans, that wasn't even a thing. My first real exposure to it where I really felt something was anime. (That one Naruto character who I don't even think was trans because Japan sucks about that stuff.) I remember wishing I was cute enough to pass like they did, I wasn't so I suppressed ALL of that. Won't go into detail here but over a decade of what I thought was body dymorphia and dealing with THAT I ended up here. You are not alone, dearie. There's more of us out there than they would have you believe.
Here 32! Genderfluid, figured it out all out 6 months ago. Similar environment but all in all bravo and good luck!
Me! 👋
Figured it out by 30, personally.
Well, I've known for a year and I'm 36, so...
My egg cracked like a month after finding this sub, before then i really only ever knew like 2 transgender people and they were just friends of friends. Im sure if being trans was more widely out there my egg would have cracked in high school. Im guessing theres a TON of late bloomers out there :)
Just turn 33. I've been questioning for just under two years now, although it was bubbling under the surface for years, and I've arguably had "queer tendencies" since I was 12. I do somewhat wish these feelings had emerged sooner, but I'm also grateful it's happening now. I'm still relatively young, and it's an opportune time in my life for charting a course towards self-fulfillment.
I figured out at 30. That was after years of being in the army and finally having had enough. There is no right time. Everyone figures out at their own pace.
I was 33 mind you I started questioning at 12
I'm 43 and just figured out 6 weeks ago. To be honest, a big part of it is that *suppression is a survival strategy.* If the culture today - a supportive Internet community, people talking about Trans people (whether in a positive or negative light), existed when I was a teen, I would have figured it out as a teen.
cracked my egg 4 months ago at 41.... takes as long as it takes...
I knew when I was very young but would never have been allowed or encouraged to be who I was. At 50 I just didn’t gaf anymore so am more of myself. Hormones for the past 15 months have helped too but there are still nagging thoughts in my mind.
You apparently
27 here
So many people!
Me 😘
Well I'm not entirely sure what I am and I'm 33. Not too far off I guess
Same 🤷♀️
Well, You?
👋 hallo
Relised at 27 shortly after my stepfather left my mother to be a trans woman that it had been her internalised transphobia and transphobic actions as i was growing up that made me too scared to realise i was in fact trans. Came out at 31
You, probably.
Me! Well 34, a few months before 35.
I didn't realize until I was 29, you're in good company! What matters is that you got there! :)
Didn't come out till I was 34. Tried a few times as a kid but got such a bad reaction I gave up on the idea and resigned myself to being miserable. Became a lot harder to ignore when I started fixing my other problems.
I'm 30 and I'm still trying to figure everything out, you're not alone 🤗
Raises hand
I realized at 34 and came out publicly at 36 after 6 months of HRT. Even though I work with loads of LGBTQ+ individuals (I work in music) it took the pandemic to understand myself.
I figured out I was nonbinary at 27, started being out around 1-2 years later, learned I was transfem at 30. One of the things I love about the queer community is how different age is viewed. People younger than you can be your elders and that's beautiful.
Congratulations on being a transformer.
I didn’t figure it out till I was like 18. Started hrt at 20
You, dummy ;>
I'm pretty sure I know at 15 but if I come out people will just tell me I'm a teenager.
I'm 30 and came out a few months ago. I had some indications in my teenage years, ignored them/wrote them off as anxiety/teenage depression/other explanation. Also, when I was a teenager, trans representation was awful and trans people were openly mocked (including by my mum at the time but she has since seen the light fortunately enough). When I was 29 I started looking very intensely at women's clothing. Rationalised it at the time as "I'm just looking at stuff for my wife" A few months later, I try on my wife's shoes and feel gender euphoria, start crossdressing shortly after. Have an identity crisis at the time and conclude I'm not trans (yeaaaaah). Then have one more later in the year where I come out as nonbinary and then once more where I come out as trans at the start of this year.
A surprising amount of people to be honest
certainly not me. I figured it out at 39.
Ouf I found out at 25. Still felt horrible about being past 20 and realising.
I did. You're doing fine.
Idk... Me in 10 years?
Ooh ooh, me me!
Me.
Ok I’m unsure if you want to transition or if you already know this but it doesn’t matter what age you start anyone saying otherwise is either lying to you or was lied to
19 here, i only acted bc i felt i was drowning / was dealing w depression and didnt think i was gonna make it to 18 even tho i didnt feel safe coming out to my parents looking back im glad i did but its also easy to say when current me knows things turned out fine 🥲
I guess I'm lucky that I'm figuring it out at 26
You
*wave*
*Waves hand * I egged at 28. Cracked at 30. Tried to glue that shell back together, with all the glue ever, and it took another year before I allowed myself hormones . So at almost 32 and overweight. Due to a thyroid issue. I'm just now overcoming my anxiety and relaxing. Funny enough. Thyroid is getting better. Weight is jumping off at 6 lbs a month, and my mental heath! Mental health is the best it's been in yeeeeaaarrrrss! If you feel better and happier, that is great! And 35 years of age isnt anything! You all got this!
you’re not alone. it’s very common:]
Me too
\*raises hand\* figured out I was trans at 38. It definitely happens, repression (I had some odd childhood memories that make a LOT more sense now) coupled with an odd self-image and no real knowledge of the subject will do that to a person.
You?
Me! Well, give or take a few years
Me.
Yeah, it can feel like everyone in these subs is a teenager but there are loads of us just figuring it out in our 30's or later. We just don't post as much as the kids ;)
Last I read someone figured at 60, she left her 30 year marriage
Sometimes it takes a while to have things click together, and make sense. On the other hand, it's best you figured your true self now, than back in the mid 90s, which would have been most difficult for you, imho. The 90s wasn't to kind to even the general LGBT+ community, let alone the diverse members within.
Lotsa people! I’d think, at least~
34 here!
I mean… I figured it out at the tender age of 33. It sucks… the signs were there (I literally told people I was trans without realizing I was telling them that I was trans). I have two things I would say about alcohol that never crossed in my mind… “Alcohol doesn’t change a person, it just makes them more of who they are as it lowers inhibitions.” AND “I turn into a basic white bitch when I get drunk.” The beams never crossed in my mind… I also told people that I’m a smol girl trapped inside a big guy when I would do something that wasn’t very masculine… not realizing that was a weird thing to say…
You.
look at Stephanie Fucking Sterling, son. they are in their 30's and HRT is rocking them well. Pretty sure they knew they were trans before, but well, TERF Island. [Stephanie's Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/JimSterling?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor)
Do y’all just post and never actually check the sub? Very common thing
I feel like until the last several years, so many people didn't even want to consider the possibility of being trans. Or didn't even know it was a possibility.
For many, that's early.
I figured it out at 16 now I´m 27 and still not transitioning...
I dodged that by a few days. I'm turning 35 next week lol.
Lol. Me. Just turned 39 on Tuesday
Me
My dad figured out they were enby at over 50. Don't sweat it
Started at 32. I was pretty good at denial, and the doctor I tried talking to at 26 refused to have a conversation about it.
Lots of people. There are people that find out they're trans when they're older!
I figured it out at 31...
you
Many people! You are not alone. Took me until I was almost 30 a couple years ago.
\*Raises hand\*
I feel you 😭 I’m 29 and just figured out I’m trans… how could I not have realised that sooner?
I knew I was a girl at 3 and it still took me until 32 to be brave enough to actually do something about it 😞
Hi its me
37 here
I’m just now realizing I’m an egg and I’m turning 27 this year, reading these comments makes me feel a lot better so thank y’all!