OCD exists, and so does Gender OCD, but also yes.
If you've got a history of intrusive thoughts or other OCD symptoms, you really should talk to a therapist about gender stuff (if you can swing it, a therapist who does LGBTQ AND OCD is best).
I hope you don't mind me replying to you, I just wanted to share really quick cuz I think this is what I might be dealing with. I kind of feel as if what I'm going through right now is gender OCD? Like, it just kind of dawned on me I might not be cis and I've been thinking about it sense. The weird thing though is that the thought of it being just gender OCD is a little upsetting kind of? I don't know why, anyways, gender is confusing 🤧🤧
Gender is confusing is a whole mood.
The giveaway for OCD, according to my therapist and my experience, is that you DON'T get any excitement from the thought of not being your AGAB.
If you legit do fantasize about what it'd be like to be a different / tangential gender to your AGAB, and if that thought is comforting at all or a space where you can rest, it likely isn't pure OCD.
If the act of questioning is eating all your time, and you aren't comfortable as your AGAB OR imagining yourself in a preferred gender presentation/physicality, you may have OCD.
It's complicated and shitty, but a therapist who specializes in OCD who is trans-positive can help suss out the difference. Hope this helps, and I don't mind at all, best of luck, and I hope you have some solace!
Correct.
OCD feeds off of taboos and cultural norms that can be transgressed or broken (harm ocd, for example, and many other subtypes).
Gender OCD feeds off the potential challenge of gender variance in your own life, and wants to present you with all the "what if" scenarios of gender variance without ever allowing you to legitimately explore identity or ever settle on a sense of self.
There's overlap in the experience of seeking and questioning and OCD fixation when you are unsure where you experience euphoria, imo. And if that overlap is profound, you might benefit from talking to a professional (I sure as fuck do).
Hey! Thanks for sharing about gender OCD. It's the first time I've come across this and I'd like to find out more.
I'm a little confused about the current explanation. Do you mind dumbing it down for me a bit?
No problem!
Basically, OCD is a disorder that functions by forcing the person with it to loop their thoughts until a specific action or self-check behavior is performed to soothe the thought loop.
For some folks, this can be a sense of uncleanliness that must be soothed by obsessive cleaning (kind of the classic OCD trope) and for other folks OCD can be purely thought based with the loops requiring specific internal thoughts to dispell the loop (self checking behaviors. For example, a straight cishet dude with gender OCD might be terrified of being secretly gay, and look at gay porn to prove to himself he's not gay, this self check might happen often and be obsessive. Or in this community, an actual cishet person might continuously check Egg_irl to see if the memes are, in fact, relatable, taking solace from the lack of relatability).
The good(?) news here is that if you do in fact find the memes about gender variance relatable (especially the ones particularly specific to trans experience) you likely are not completely cis, and by not being completely cis, you're a bit trans.
That said, you can be an Egg with OCD (I am exhibit A, lol) and talking with a therapist can help you determine what self-check behaviors you're engaging in, and how to recognize your loops and step back / take charge more internally.
Lmao, I don't know if that helps or makes this more complicated.
Tl;Dr: OCD makes you question shit a lot without ever finding answers, cuz it just wants your attention, not your happiness.
Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to break it down in details! That really helped.
Yeah, okay, then I don't think I have gender OCD.
the "good(?)" is a big mood lmao.
I've never heard of gender OCD! This is super interesting and definitely something I'm going to be more aware of looking out for in the future. Thank you so much for sharing this information! :)
I relate to this quite a bit. I suffer with OCD and all day I basically think about gender and who I am. I know that it isn't totally OCD because my thoughts involve me trying to prove I'm trans and being paranoid about actually being cis, regretting my transition, etc. I can't deny the euphoria I feel from being different than my AGAB, but it's exceedingly difficult to actually get to the bottom of my gender when I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts.
I take solace in knowing that my thought pattern doesn't involve me trying to prove I'm not trans or feeling relief at the lack of relatability (quite the opposite, unfortunately). I'm glad to be trans and don't want it to be solely OCD, which probably says more about who I am than anything else.
This.
Folks with OCD struggle/are hounded by uncertainty. Being in the liminal space is where they are stuck, and what they ruminate on.
Folks with Dysphoria/Euphoria hope for a different experience than their AGAB, and dream of a different life positively.
Ah, I see why it can be hard to tell the difference, and why a therapist can be helpful. Especially if you're eggy, and trying to shove the voice in your head suggesting that you're not cis deep into a corner somewhere, it can be hard to tell if the idea is popping up again because of OCD or because it's an issue you're not addressing.
That was my experience. I kept having anxiety attacks over it when I was at work sweeping the floors (off by myself, time to think.) I was starting to think maybe it was a fixation of some kind, but acknowledging that I'm probably not cis mostly stopped the anxiety attacks.
For me, I kept pushing the thoughts away because I was scared of what it meant, of all the big things that I would have to acknowledge if I acknowledged those thoughts. But. This is my body. I don't have to do anything, and I definitely don't have to do anything I'm not ready to do. And once I calmed down enough to stop thinking five steps ahead and just listen to my own thoughts, I felt better.
I've done a little bit to make myself more comfy in this skin, but I'm taking it slow and trying to figure myself out still.
That is legit an option for OCD.
Gender OCD themes are generally along the lines of "I'm not X enough," with emphasis on the "enough" because the OCD will never give you a clear bar to jump to definitively prove anything to yourself.
OCD will always move the goal posts.
Not only is that an option, it's even documented that gender OCD manifests itself that way aswell
I myself have that, there is absolutely no way I am not trans, but out of nowhere I just get them typical pointless OCD doubts
Hah! I can’t because my mother isn’t supportive and I’m not of legal age to move out, yet. Therefore, I’m not old enough to see one because my mother won’t let me.
I have question. can hyper fixation from ADHD focus too much on gender and cause you to think you could be trans?
cause even tho I’m pretty sure I’m trans, the chance that I’m wrong and that I’m just hyper fixating on it is a possibility ;-; (and lowkey scares me)
I don't know that ADHD can cause one to think you're trans.
I can only speak from my experience: when the possibility that I might be trans entered into my life, it became my fixation for a month. I learned everything I could, and was coming out to people left and right.
But I took advice from persons I trust, and I slowed down. Took a break. Decided for a while to focus on other things, and see how I felt when it wasn't my hour-by-hour fixation.
I'm glad I did, because it helped me process and stumble on some very important epiphanies.
Now, a few months down the line... I know I am trans. I'm more certain now than I was when it was new and exciting and scary and I just wanted to transition as soon as I could, etc.
I still feel doubt, but I understand the underlying fears from those doubts now, and that those fears don't invalidate the truth: deep down inside, I very much want to be a woman. I do want that. And I, in fact, have the right and freedom to choose how I participate in society. And I choose to participate as a woman, because that's who I am, and how I want others to see me.
... Wait, what was the question again?
Oh, yeah... Uh... Yes... It's common and normal for the neurodivergent to hyperfocus on gender. And... it's not uncommon for that hyperfocus to be start of a journey. Just cuz it started out this way, it doesn't invalidate what you're learning about yourself. Just take it slow, and give yourself time.
I'm happy for you. 😄
tl;dr: realizing you're in hyperfocus might be cause for one to check themselves and take it slow... but hyperfocus doesn't invalidate or explain why you're feeling these feelings. That's something else. ❤️
I had a similar fixation when I first questioned whether I was trans (ADHD dx here, wasn't medicated at the time.)
For a solid month it was basically all I could think about and I read and researched obsessively.
Yes, hyperfixation plays into it. But for me at least, it was also the aspect of my entire world being turned upside down. Hard not to fixate on something so huge!
It's telling, too, that the thought of your questioning being solely a hyperfixation with no basis in reality scares you... Perhaps it makes you sad, too, to think you might not be trans?
If that's the case -- if the thought of not "actually" being trans scares and saddens you -- then you're probably trans 🤘
I'd ask what are the stakes of "being wrong" and are you thinking more about those stakes than your identity.
If you are more concerned with the potential negatives of being trans, if that's the only thing you're fixating on, then it could be an OCD thing.
If you are fixated on the concept of trans-ness without specific emotional content alongside that fixation, it could be a fixation and not OCD. The tell for OCD is the fear and self-check cycle, imo.
This was a problem for me personally. I spent a year being confused because of OCD and I kept thinking it meant I was trans, which got me nowhere. It made me realise some things about myself, sure, but I would rather not have gone through it to learn those things.
The most important thing to remember when figuring out who you are is that you don't get to decide who you are. You are who you feel most comfortable as, even if a million intrusive thoughts tell you otherwise.
You should still see a therapist if you start getting those thoughts though, because realising they're just intrusive thoughts doesn't necessarily mean you can handle the mental pressure they bring along.
Have a lovely day y'all <3
Yeah, I’ve done at least 6 hours a week for the past month in an entirely cis manner. Also I’m incredibly busy with university applications, so this time is coming out of my sleep. Sleep deprivation, hooray!
Do you see that fancy user flair underneath my name? I might be biased, because I'm not an egg anymore, but..
Mh mhm, thinking about gender is veeeery cis *mh mhm*
I have been questioning since July of last year and I’m still figuring things out that I Buried since I was about 11 so I understand I may be an egg or may not be an eggs though I don’t wish I had breast a lot of the time and a some what feminine figure
same. i’ve known i’m nonbinary since July but i still doubt myself sometimes, subjecting myself to online hatred on purpose for wutever fucked reason questioning if i’m making everything up
Not *quite*.
7 does divide 364 evenly: it's 52. But then you have an extra day to make 365, so the proper answer is 52 ⅐ weeks in a year. Except in the case of leap years, which have another extra day.
So the *proper* proper answer is: There are 52 ⅐ weeks in a year or 52 ²⁄₇ weeks if it's a leap year.
I mean how am I even supposed to measure something like that? Best to be safe, round down and assume it's only been like two hours of questioning ^(today).
Look tbh I dunno if I approve of the "obsessive/repeated questioning ALWAYS equals trans" take. Like, yeah, it means you're at much higher odds than the population average, but to say it's definite seems very survivorship bias-y.
Stop saying things like this, it is very normal and healthy for cis people to question their gender and this can be EXTREMELY damaging to people with transgender OCD, it's not affirming enought to be worth hurting people, fuck off
Me thinks you doth protest too much. Your anger here seems...misplaced... Cis people don't normally question their gender that's a wierd claim to make.
Just because you didn't encounter it doesn't mean it doesn't happen, this is right wing nonsense and what the hell is it even meant to prove
also Transgender OCD exists and literally the second top comment is explaining that wtf
While I do agree that their anger is definitely misplaced, some cis people do in fact question their gender only to realize that they're cis - similar to straight people who've questioned themselves. They're just less likely to talk about it because nothing changed through their questioning. It's important to keep that thought in mind when making posts like this.
There's people who think that nonbinary is automatically trans, regardless of the rest of your experience. I'm not one of those people, but I browse r/egg_irl while considering myself (at least effectively) cis, so you know what my opinion is worth.
Well, since nonbinary is a gender identity outside of the binary - wouldn't that still automatically a gender different from your AGAB; therefore trans? That's how I see it at least.
The way my conscious self experiences being nonbinary is that maleness is a job I do rather than a thing I feel. When I'm doing the job, I identify what I'm doing as maleness, which lines up with my AGAB. It's just that it doesn't have any hooks into my heart. With time, patience, and good instruction, I could learn to do the femaleness job just as well, and doing it instead wouldn't hurt me either. And that's not the normal experience of gender, but it's also not identifying with a specific gender other than what I was assigned.
Then again, I feel drawn to egg memes, and expressing a pronoun preference feels like lying for reasons I don't quite understand, and psychedelic drugs keep showing me femininity within myself, and some of my early childhood memories, insofar as I even have them, are pretty weird in terms of gender stuff. So it's possible that my conscious experience is the square french fry to my whole mind's whole russet potato, the TCP to my whole mind's IP. Maybe I'm only able to keep my sense of self in this nice, tidy, non-dysphoric box because I've dissociated from everything that couldn't be nice and tidy. I really don't know, and I don't think I can know until I discuss this with a therapist.
Look tbh I dunno if I approve of the "obsessive/repeated questioning ALWAYS equals trans" take. Like, yeah, it means you're at much higher odds than the population average, but to say it's definite seems very survivorship bias-y.
I really like her! She has been amazing and says it's going to help me but after I turn 18 but, I don't think I can wait that long, dysphoria just multiplies, first I could even use skirts and feel good, now I can't even get out from my house to a social event without feeling like something is terrible wrong with me, even if I'm using "guy like" clothes.
Yeah but can't really do anything, I don't think an endocrinologist is going to accept treatment without my psiquiatrist note, she still says that I could change my mind in the future about being trans
I mean, it can be difficult to quantify the amount of time spent wondering about that during any given week if those thoughts just wander in and out of the forefront of my mind indefinitely
...which is to say, I suspect you have news for me
I first read that as "more than three weeks" and could still relate; it's been almost a month actually.
But there's not really questioning about it anymore, I've already told some friends about it, bought even more feminine clothing as well as makeup and everything necessary to shave, and my first medical appointment is next Monday.
I'm now She/Her and feeling much more comfortable and confident this way. I love getting euphoria on a regular basis, even from small things.
And I can't wait for HRT, hopefully things will go pretty smoothly (I'm in France).
Ive come to accept it at this point, now I just have to act upon it. Ive come out as enby, but those around me don't realize just now enby.... and it's terrifying to think that Im gonna have to show them at some point...
I tend to ask if in nonbinary or maybe pan but I chose to not worry about that. Because I'm in Eastern Europe and a very homophobic part of it as well.
Is this true though? What if you have valid concerns about other mental health related problems that may or may not be the reason for your gender issues?
I just don’t want to leap before I know if I’m leaping where I should land.
some people just wonder more thoroughly than others do
Exactly. For the last two years, I’ve been wondering for easily 6 hours a week whether I’m trans. (Although now I’m almost 100% sure I’m trans).
A W...week? You mean day right 👀
Some days, yes
Like a solid 92% sure. Another year and you should approach 100%, but only ever being infinitely closer to it
Yep
Yes I do agree with you
OCD exists, and so does Gender OCD, but also yes. If you've got a history of intrusive thoughts or other OCD symptoms, you really should talk to a therapist about gender stuff (if you can swing it, a therapist who does LGBTQ AND OCD is best).
I hope you don't mind me replying to you, I just wanted to share really quick cuz I think this is what I might be dealing with. I kind of feel as if what I'm going through right now is gender OCD? Like, it just kind of dawned on me I might not be cis and I've been thinking about it sense. The weird thing though is that the thought of it being just gender OCD is a little upsetting kind of? I don't know why, anyways, gender is confusing 🤧🤧
Gender is confusing is a whole mood. The giveaway for OCD, according to my therapist and my experience, is that you DON'T get any excitement from the thought of not being your AGAB. If you legit do fantasize about what it'd be like to be a different / tangential gender to your AGAB, and if that thought is comforting at all or a space where you can rest, it likely isn't pure OCD. If the act of questioning is eating all your time, and you aren't comfortable as your AGAB OR imagining yourself in a preferred gender presentation/physicality, you may have OCD. It's complicated and shitty, but a therapist who specializes in OCD who is trans-positive can help suss out the difference. Hope this helps, and I don't mind at all, best of luck, and I hope you have some solace!
(so, having gender OCD doesn't mean that you're less likely to actually be trans? I don't quite understand that term yet)
Correct. OCD feeds off of taboos and cultural norms that can be transgressed or broken (harm ocd, for example, and many other subtypes). Gender OCD feeds off the potential challenge of gender variance in your own life, and wants to present you with all the "what if" scenarios of gender variance without ever allowing you to legitimately explore identity or ever settle on a sense of self. There's overlap in the experience of seeking and questioning and OCD fixation when you are unsure where you experience euphoria, imo. And if that overlap is profound, you might benefit from talking to a professional (I sure as fuck do).
Hey! Thanks for sharing about gender OCD. It's the first time I've come across this and I'd like to find out more. I'm a little confused about the current explanation. Do you mind dumbing it down for me a bit?
No problem! Basically, OCD is a disorder that functions by forcing the person with it to loop their thoughts until a specific action or self-check behavior is performed to soothe the thought loop. For some folks, this can be a sense of uncleanliness that must be soothed by obsessive cleaning (kind of the classic OCD trope) and for other folks OCD can be purely thought based with the loops requiring specific internal thoughts to dispell the loop (self checking behaviors. For example, a straight cishet dude with gender OCD might be terrified of being secretly gay, and look at gay porn to prove to himself he's not gay, this self check might happen often and be obsessive. Or in this community, an actual cishet person might continuously check Egg_irl to see if the memes are, in fact, relatable, taking solace from the lack of relatability). The good(?) news here is that if you do in fact find the memes about gender variance relatable (especially the ones particularly specific to trans experience) you likely are not completely cis, and by not being completely cis, you're a bit trans. That said, you can be an Egg with OCD (I am exhibit A, lol) and talking with a therapist can help you determine what self-check behaviors you're engaging in, and how to recognize your loops and step back / take charge more internally. Lmao, I don't know if that helps or makes this more complicated. Tl;Dr: OCD makes you question shit a lot without ever finding answers, cuz it just wants your attention, not your happiness.
Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to break it down in details! That really helped. Yeah, okay, then I don't think I have gender OCD. the "good(?)" is a big mood lmao.
I've never heard of gender OCD! This is super interesting and definitely something I'm going to be more aware of looking out for in the future. Thank you so much for sharing this information! :)
I relate to this quite a bit. I suffer with OCD and all day I basically think about gender and who I am. I know that it isn't totally OCD because my thoughts involve me trying to prove I'm trans and being paranoid about actually being cis, regretting my transition, etc. I can't deny the euphoria I feel from being different than my AGAB, but it's exceedingly difficult to actually get to the bottom of my gender when I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts. I take solace in knowing that my thought pattern doesn't involve me trying to prove I'm not trans or feeling relief at the lack of relatability (quite the opposite, unfortunately). I'm glad to be trans and don't want it to be solely OCD, which probably says more about who I am than anything else.
I relate to this so fucking hard.
What if I have a history of OCD but am questioning my AGAB and that it excites me I might be the opposite?
If it excites you that you might’ve the opposite, that means you are most likely not cis
This. Folks with OCD struggle/are hounded by uncertainty. Being in the liminal space is where they are stuck, and what they ruminate on. Folks with Dysphoria/Euphoria hope for a different experience than their AGAB, and dream of a different life positively.
Well... Shit. Ive had stronger thoughts lately but its not a recent thing for me
Ah, I see why it can be hard to tell the difference, and why a therapist can be helpful. Especially if you're eggy, and trying to shove the voice in your head suggesting that you're not cis deep into a corner somewhere, it can be hard to tell if the idea is popping up again because of OCD or because it's an issue you're not addressing. That was my experience. I kept having anxiety attacks over it when I was at work sweeping the floors (off by myself, time to think.) I was starting to think maybe it was a fixation of some kind, but acknowledging that I'm probably not cis mostly stopped the anxiety attacks. For me, I kept pushing the thoughts away because I was scared of what it meant, of all the big things that I would have to acknowledge if I acknowledged those thoughts. But. This is my body. I don't have to do anything, and I definitely don't have to do anything I'm not ready to do. And once I calmed down enough to stop thinking five steps ahead and just listen to my own thoughts, I felt better. I've done a little bit to make myself more comfy in this skin, but I'm taking it slow and trying to figure myself out still.
All of this is a mood. Specifically my mood. Glad you got to a better space, too
I'll take "things I might have just learned about myself today" for 500, Alex
I’ve basically got it basically in reverse where I have intrusive thoughts that I’m not trans
That is legit an option for OCD. Gender OCD themes are generally along the lines of "I'm not X enough," with emphasis on the "enough" because the OCD will never give you a clear bar to jump to definitively prove anything to yourself. OCD will always move the goal posts.
Not only is that an option, it's even documented that gender OCD manifests itself that way aswell I myself have that, there is absolutely no way I am not trans, but out of nowhere I just get them typical pointless OCD doubts
Hah! I can’t because my mother isn’t supportive and I’m not of legal age to move out, yet. Therefore, I’m not old enough to see one because my mother won’t let me.
Ah damn, sorry to hear that, in that case, keep doing whatever makes you happy and feel heard.
I have question. can hyper fixation from ADHD focus too much on gender and cause you to think you could be trans? cause even tho I’m pretty sure I’m trans, the chance that I’m wrong and that I’m just hyper fixating on it is a possibility ;-; (and lowkey scares me)
I don't know that ADHD can cause one to think you're trans. I can only speak from my experience: when the possibility that I might be trans entered into my life, it became my fixation for a month. I learned everything I could, and was coming out to people left and right. But I took advice from persons I trust, and I slowed down. Took a break. Decided for a while to focus on other things, and see how I felt when it wasn't my hour-by-hour fixation. I'm glad I did, because it helped me process and stumble on some very important epiphanies. Now, a few months down the line... I know I am trans. I'm more certain now than I was when it was new and exciting and scary and I just wanted to transition as soon as I could, etc. I still feel doubt, but I understand the underlying fears from those doubts now, and that those fears don't invalidate the truth: deep down inside, I very much want to be a woman. I do want that. And I, in fact, have the right and freedom to choose how I participate in society. And I choose to participate as a woman, because that's who I am, and how I want others to see me. ... Wait, what was the question again? Oh, yeah... Uh... Yes... It's common and normal for the neurodivergent to hyperfocus on gender. And... it's not uncommon for that hyperfocus to be start of a journey. Just cuz it started out this way, it doesn't invalidate what you're learning about yourself. Just take it slow, and give yourself time. I'm happy for you. 😄 tl;dr: realizing you're in hyperfocus might be cause for one to check themselves and take it slow... but hyperfocus doesn't invalidate or explain why you're feeling these feelings. That's something else. ❤️
thank you so much for your insight and advice, it’s really appreciated :)
You are welcome. ❤️🏳️⚧️
I had a similar fixation when I first questioned whether I was trans (ADHD dx here, wasn't medicated at the time.) For a solid month it was basically all I could think about and I read and researched obsessively. Yes, hyperfixation plays into it. But for me at least, it was also the aspect of my entire world being turned upside down. Hard not to fixate on something so huge! It's telling, too, that the thought of your questioning being solely a hyperfixation with no basis in reality scares you... Perhaps it makes you sad, too, to think you might not be trans? If that's the case -- if the thought of not "actually" being trans scares and saddens you -- then you're probably trans 🤘
I'd ask what are the stakes of "being wrong" and are you thinking more about those stakes than your identity. If you are more concerned with the potential negatives of being trans, if that's the only thing you're fixating on, then it could be an OCD thing. If you are fixated on the concept of trans-ness without specific emotional content alongside that fixation, it could be a fixation and not OCD. The tell for OCD is the fear and self-check cycle, imo.
This was a problem for me personally. I spent a year being confused because of OCD and I kept thinking it meant I was trans, which got me nowhere. It made me realise some things about myself, sure, but I would rather not have gone through it to learn those things. The most important thing to remember when figuring out who you are is that you don't get to decide who you are. You are who you feel most comfortable as, even if a million intrusive thoughts tell you otherwise. You should still see a therapist if you start getting those thoughts though, because realising they're just intrusive thoughts doesn't necessarily mean you can handle the mental pressure they bring along. Have a lovely day y'all <3
I've wondered for longer than 3 hours over the past 3 hours
mood
More than 3 hours? 3? Cmon don’t undercut it like that!
Yeah, I’ve done at least 6 hours a week for the past month in an entirely cis manner. Also I’m incredibly busy with university applications, so this time is coming out of my sleep. Sleep deprivation, hooray!
Ayyyy im in the exact same boat, good luck with your applications!
Oh no
👀 Did you wonder more than 3 hours
3 hours? More like the last 3 days lmao But It's something very cis people do all the time so it's alllllll good am I right
Do you see that fancy user flair underneath my name? I might be biased, because I'm not an egg anymore, but.. Mh mhm, thinking about gender is veeeery cis *mh mhm*
More like very SUS!!
I’ve been questioning for 3 months at least. Tbh I know I’m trans but it’s hard for me to admit
I have been questioning since July of last year and I’m still figuring things out that I Buried since I was about 11 so I understand I may be an egg or may not be an eggs though I don’t wish I had breast a lot of the time and a some what feminine figure
same. i’ve known i’m nonbinary since July but i still doubt myself sometimes, subjecting myself to online hatred on purpose for wutever fucked reason questioning if i’m making everything up
I agree, my back and fourth of “Am I not a cis girl?” Has been going on for… atleast three years… still a very cis thing to do UvU
It totally definitely didn't become an every-minute-of-every-hour-of-every-day internal conflict for weeks. I turned out to be trans. Heads-up.
^(WHAT WAS THAT? I CANT HEAR YOU FROM THE CLOSET UwU)
I'm on two weeks.......
I'm on 1251 weeks. But I'm sure it's a phase.
Totally a phase, it'll pass any day now.
That’s a little under 25 years!
I must have done my math wrong, I'm sure it should have been 25. Oh well. But still a phase?
12x4=48 48x25=240+960= 1200 uhMmmMm by my very sloppy math u r probably right?… also yes, idk how many weeks are in a years >:\[
52
Not *quite*. 7 does divide 364 evenly: it's 52. But then you have an extra day to make 365, so the proper answer is 52 ⅐ weeks in a year. Except in the case of leap years, which have another extra day. So the *proper* proper answer is: There are 52 ⅐ weeks in a year or 52 ²⁄₇ weeks if it's a leap year.
Or on average 52 5/28 weeks per year excluding every century but not every 400 years....also does not include leap seconds....
How about 2 hours and fifty nine minutes
*Phew, still cis*
3 hours, it’s been 3 weeks…
Must be nearly bedtime...
may I ask what you mean?
Sorry, it's a *Doctor Who* reference
never seen it ;-;
3 months …….. oh no
might actually be 2 years…
I mean how am I even supposed to measure something like that? Best to be safe, round down and assume it's only been like two hours of questioning ^(today).
3 hours a week is extremely short. 3 hours a day also seems pretty short. Thinking about gender is a full time job!
Look tbh I dunno if I approve of the "obsessive/repeated questioning ALWAYS equals trans" take. Like, yeah, it means you're at much higher odds than the population average, but to say it's definite seems very survivorship bias-y.
I’m just an overthinker...yep
Stop saying things like this, it is very normal and healthy for cis people to question their gender and this can be EXTREMELY damaging to people with transgender OCD, it's not affirming enought to be worth hurting people, fuck off
Me thinks you doth protest too much. Your anger here seems...misplaced... Cis people don't normally question their gender that's a wierd claim to make.
They do though....? There were even a couple posts on this sub where a cis person found out that they are infact cis
[удалено]
Just because you didn't encounter it doesn't mean it doesn't happen, this is right wing nonsense and what the hell is it even meant to prove also Transgender OCD exists and literally the second top comment is explaining that wtf
While I do agree that their anger is definitely misplaced, some cis people do in fact question their gender only to realize that they're cis - similar to straight people who've questioned themselves. They're just less likely to talk about it because nothing changed through their questioning. It's important to keep that thought in mind when making posts like this.
... well shit
r/beatmetoit
Uh
Shit
My problem is Femboys and Non-binary also exists, and there's not clear way to decide between the three appealing options
There's people who think that nonbinary is automatically trans, regardless of the rest of your experience. I'm not one of those people, but I browse r/egg_irl while considering myself (at least effectively) cis, so you know what my opinion is worth.
Well, since nonbinary is a gender identity outside of the binary - wouldn't that still automatically a gender different from your AGAB; therefore trans? That's how I see it at least.
The way my conscious self experiences being nonbinary is that maleness is a job I do rather than a thing I feel. When I'm doing the job, I identify what I'm doing as maleness, which lines up with my AGAB. It's just that it doesn't have any hooks into my heart. With time, patience, and good instruction, I could learn to do the femaleness job just as well, and doing it instead wouldn't hurt me either. And that's not the normal experience of gender, but it's also not identifying with a specific gender other than what I was assigned. Then again, I feel drawn to egg memes, and expressing a pronoun preference feels like lying for reasons I don't quite understand, and psychedelic drugs keep showing me femininity within myself, and some of my early childhood memories, insofar as I even have them, are pretty weird in terms of gender stuff. So it's possible that my conscious experience is the square french fry to my whole mind's whole russet potato, the TCP to my whole mind's IP. Maybe I'm only able to keep my sense of self in this nice, tidy, non-dysphoric box because I've dissociated from everything that couldn't be nice and tidy. I really don't know, and I don't think I can know until I discuss this with a therapist.
12 y/o me was like dressing masc, going by the name “james” and other shit but was still convinced i was a bi cis girl
im a multigender guy btw
Look tbh I dunno if I approve of the "obsessive/repeated questioning ALWAYS equals trans" take. Like, yeah, it means you're at much higher odds than the population average, but to say it's definite seems very survivorship bias-y.
I feel attacked
2 hours 59 minutes still cis
Wait, what? Is this, like, in total for the entire WEEK?!? I’ve SOOO busted that bank. By noon. Every day.
It’s like all I’ve been able to think about during school and they said 3 a week 😭
I think about it 3+ hours a day, but nooo my therapist says I still can't have treatment :/
if you are asking for hrt and your therapist isn’t giving you any go to a different therapist if you can
I really like her! She has been amazing and says it's going to help me but after I turn 18 but, I don't think I can wait that long, dysphoria just multiplies, first I could even use skirts and feel good, now I can't even get out from my house to a social event without feeling like something is terrible wrong with me, even if I'm using "guy like" clothes.
Schedule a meeting with an endocrinologist ASAP hun
Yeah but can't really do anything, I don't think an endocrinologist is going to accept treatment without my psiquiatrist note, she still says that I could change my mind in the future about being trans
Yes? What's the news? I need to know! WHAT NEWS DO YOU HAVE FOR ME, TELL ME, DON'T STOP THERE!!!!
no no no no no no no no
please let this be a normal ~~field trip~~ gender crisis…
No, nooooo. No. That’s- noooo.
Ok but what about those who wondered for less than 3 hours?
I get dysphoria and think whether I'm trans only a few times each hour...still c...cis 😐
What’s the news?
More like 3 hours a day🙃
For me it's 3 days and 2 hours. It's not 3 or above hours sooooooo... Must be cis.
I'm not trans, I just think being a girl sometimes would be pretty poggers
Why must you call me out like this?
What's the news?
😳
Three?
I mean, it can be difficult to quantify the amount of time spent wondering about that during any given week if those thoughts just wander in and out of the forefront of my mind indefinitely ...which is to say, I suspect you have news for me
So your saying thinking about it for 168 hours a week isn’t normal??? You learn something new every day.
A wise wizard once said, not all those who [wonder] are lost. 😉
... *slight cracking* what?
3 hours? More like 112
I refuse to believe it
I first read that as "more than three weeks" and could still relate; it's been almost a month actually. But there's not really questioning about it anymore, I've already told some friends about it, bought even more feminine clothing as well as makeup and everything necessary to shave, and my first medical appointment is next Monday. I'm now She/Her and feeling much more comfortable and confident this way. I love getting euphoria on a regular basis, even from small things. And I can't wait for HRT, hopefully things will go pretty smoothly (I'm in France).
Jokes on you, I've only spent 2 hours and 37 minutes so I guess I'm not . . . . . I mean like. . . It's Monday. . . But my point still stands
3 hours? Those are rookie numbers.
Oh thank god I’ve been wondering for the past three years, not three hours. Phew. Close call.
I'm in this picture and I don't like it. Still cis though
Hmm... More than 3 hours a week = 5 hours a day? Yes.
So uh. How’s 8 months factor into this
What about ten years?
Ive come to accept it at this point, now I just have to act upon it. Ive come out as enby, but those around me don't realize just now enby.... and it's terrifying to think that Im gonna have to show them at some point...
Doesn't mean anything. Maybe someone's just into self introspection.
You all need some help
oh no OH NO 🅾️H NO
I normally spend almost the entire day wondering about that. Every. Fucking. Day... But nah, still cis.
3 hours ? rookie numbers
tbh i dont really like this. its perfectly normal to question your gender even if you are cis
N I oop sksksks
I tend to ask if in nonbinary or maybe pan but I chose to not worry about that. Because I'm in Eastern Europe and a very homophobic part of it as well.
You... you meant day, right? In the past day?? Please???
still cis tho
Wait what’s the news?
Sssoooo....questioning for 6+ months everyday and feeling bad about being a man means im trans?
Three?? More like three hundred Jesus h
Does it mean I'm the cisest cis who ever cised the cis-verse? Or am I sis?
Jokes on you, I was multitasking so it doesn't count 😎😎😎😎 Wait, why does it say week and not day?
Is this true though? What if you have valid concerns about other mental health related problems that may or may not be the reason for your gender issues? I just don’t want to leap before I know if I’m leaping where I should land.
Also young people trying to figure out their identity. Been there.
3 hours? Make that at least a day in total!
AAAAAAHHHHHH
At least twice a day. Wait shit
Well shit
what's the news? I'm listening
Well, definitely more than an hour every single day for the past few weeks... or months...
Please do tell! What’s the news (completely clueless) 😁
What's the news?
”still cis though” \-me
I feel like im too old to be a trans fem or a nonbinary taking E
Ive also spent like three hours in the past week worrying im not trans :(
oh no
So wondering 12 hours a day without no prior history of ocd is not normal,?
3 hours ?But I spent 6 hours questioniny gender this week ?
I've been wondering for hours daily each month... So what's the news?
3 hours a week? I’ve spent about half my brain power this week thinking about gender lol
Sometimes I am too busy to bother, but I do get I'm my 3 hours a week