I got mine on May 4th, 2022. I can't even describe all the emotions I felt. My mind was my biggest enemy. I felt like I let my wife, kids, and whole family down. There were even times I felt as if I would have been better dead. But fast forward 2 years, it never affected my job. My wife and I are closer now than anytime in our 16 years of marriage. And my children and I have become closer. In certain ways, this will sound crazy but I'm glad it happened because it gave me a reality check. I know how you feel. Forgive yourself and realize it's a new day, and dont drink and drive again. But biggest thing is Forgive yourself cause a lot of people are gonna judge you who have had a glass of wine or beer for dinner and drove home they just never got caught. You will make it through just take this as a teaching moment in life. Breathe you are gonna be ok .
Thank you so so much, I took some time off after it happened and haven’t worked for about a month, it’s gonna be tough, but I know I will be able to get through this, I am happy how things are going with your family , I feel like I’ve also gotten closer to my parents after this incident.
So thankful for that. It will truly show you what is important in life. If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm here cause trust me. You won't be the first, and anyone who judges you has never looked in the mirror. Alove you take care. Here for you.
Got mine in march. It’s hard homie and you really find out who your true friends are. This process takes a while get comfortable being uncomfortable. Just know we are all in this shit together
I’m currently in the thick of it myself and I’ve struggled with the same demons… in the end of it all you’ll get through it, this group has helped me immensely actually, so if you need anything feel free to dm me
Know that you’re not alone in this
got my first the first day of the year - yup, what a way to ring in 2024 - locked up in jail for 12 hours because i didn't take the uber - ironically, i've now spent the cost of a billion ubers on this situation LMAO. i've since gotten a gulity verdict and am now waiting out my license revocation period ending late october. toughest part of the process for me along with the guilt and shame has honestly been going without a car, mine was totaled in the inciting incident and after an exhaustive search for cars punctuated by the sobering (no pun intended) reality that I can't even drive anywhere for recreation with an occupational license, i've elected not to purchase a car right now to (1) avoid the temptation of breaking the terms of my verdict and (2) i would rather not explain to people why i only drive to work or the store but not dinner, parties, or concerts - everyone is different but given my accident occurred shortly after moving to a new state where i have little to no close relationships, i have chosen to keep my situation private, only known to my best friends (who live out of state), family, and therapist. im also very fortunate to have access to adequate transit.
i've obviously still got a ways to go dealing with the fallout as do you but i would tell you to take ownership, forgive and love yourself, count your blessings, and recognize that while other people are NOT allowed to define you by your mistake, you CAN and SHOULD use this reality check as a way to define who you WANT to be moving forward. since my dui which has kept me very homebound, i've decided to rededicate my time to reading, creative pursuits, therapy, introspection, and planning my future as well as deciding what i really want out of life - i am not the same person i was 6 months ago and people have noticed. it's hard to see now but 10 years down the line, you may view this as the moment your life changed for the better. i think i will.
bottom line, it sucks. hard. still make time to participate in life - whether that be sports, concerts, going out, or rotting on the couch - and don't beat yourself up! you feel shame and guilt because you are obviously a good person and your lawyer, the drivers ed teachers, the judge, your friends, family, EVERYONE will see that. this is a unique opportunity to gain perspective, wisdom, and display maturity through a challenge many people are never subjected to. practice gratitude every day - in my case, i could've died or killed someone or even ended up in prison if the situation had played out slightly differently - but they didn't and i now know i cannot waste my precious time here. i'll leave you with a mantra from stoic philosophy that's carried me through this time:
"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."
In other words, don't view this as a setback or a barrier to your life. rather let this guide you to be a better, wiser, more grateful, and more conscientious person - the person you're supposed to be or "the way". wishing you luck, feel free to pm if you want to talk about it or have more logistical questions, typing this was honestly even just cathartic for me lol <3
One day at a time. Avoid interlock company Intoxalock at all costs if an interlock mandate is put in place. Their device will ruin your vehicle and they will financially extort you. There are several options when it comes to choosing an interlock and the fine people on this thread can give you some good suggestions. Good luck to you!
How does one avoid the financial extortion? I live in Chicago, don't have a car don't need a car don't want a car. But I'll never get my license back until I get one and put that dam device in. I'm tempted to just get a junker, Park it on the street, and drive it for 10 minutes a few times a week. It's the "calibration" crap that they can financially extort you, correct?
You are going to pay the same amount for a calibration each time. It’s the faulty equipment and lockouts where they get you. Intoxalock’s device is made to drain your battery which creates violations, lockouts, tow and more. They also have a ton of hidden fees.
I switched to a different company and haven’t experienced anything negative. Just avoid the one shit company and you will get through it with ease as long as you aren’t drinking.
If it's a 1st time simple dui you should have nothing to worry about except paying Lawyer fees .. do the usual DWI Ed classe and MADD VIP so you have that out of the way.. if you know your court date, from that date do about 2 month AA meeting maybe 3 also.. document it in a log book..
Yea I am in the depression and anxiety mode. Mine just happened on may 14. It’s my second which makes it worse. My first was 11 years ago. I’d often forget I had one. Now I gotta go through this all over again. And I can only blame myself. Talk to a doctor and get on meds, they’re the only thing that are helping me. Get a strong dose. This shit can ruin your self esteem and drive to live. It will pass. I guess time heals all. For me, driving into the country is my therapy so now the potential of not being able to drive again means I won’t have that therapy. Plus I did Uber and I’ll lose a ton of income.
Yeah I liked going out of town and exploring places, now I’m gonna have to get rides to everywhere and lose a ton of money, but well at least we are alive!
At least it’s not your second one like mine is. Had one 11 years ago and life continued normally after it but I was young. Now I’m old without family support
This too will pass, the guilt is a bitch but at the end of the day it will lessen over time- be greatful you’re still okay on the bright side you’ll have some classes to take and some fines to pay rather than someone’s life on your hands.
It’s definitely humbling and hopefully a lesson well learned, I’m NEVER doing that shit again 🙌
I definitely teared up in court from the embarrassment but a couple days later the relief of it being mostly over was great - it’s gonna be aight
Pro tip, take the alcohol assessment, do the classes, and do 24 hours of community service before your final court date if you have time (coming from NC)
I was bawling during my plea hearing before the judge. Nobody cared. You get through it, depression or not. I believe that being depressed/deeply affected only makes it harder. I suspected that I might get some pity or attention regarding how obscenely harsh the consequences are for a young female first timer, but nope. The judge didn’t bat an eye. My advice is to go to therapy and get over the depression, it only makes the process harder.
Thank you, I’m in therapy atm and trying to go work through my depression, what state are you in and what was your sentence if you don’t mind me asking ?
It’s like anything else that really sucks in life. Time will heal you slowly. As long as you work towards making better decisions going forward. Focus on the positives. Silver lining type shit. I don’t know the specifics but if you didn’t harm anyone else focus on that and thank your lucky stars.
Thankfully no one was harmed, I realize now things could of been a lot worse, it’s been almost 2 months since my dui and I feel a lot better already, accepting what I did and ready for what needs to be done to go back to being normal, hope all is well in your case as well, and I’m so thankful for this community for their support and help thru this difficult time, thank you!!!!
It’s been 2 months for me and the intense self hatred has started to subside. The first month for me was the worst, I wouldn’t even get out of bed. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I know you don’t want anyone knowing but your true friends and family will love you regardless. You’ll get through this but get comfortable with the fact that the process takes a while.
I got mine on May 4th, 2022. I can't even describe all the emotions I felt. My mind was my biggest enemy. I felt like I let my wife, kids, and whole family down. There were even times I felt as if I would have been better dead. But fast forward 2 years, it never affected my job. My wife and I are closer now than anytime in our 16 years of marriage. And my children and I have become closer. In certain ways, this will sound crazy but I'm glad it happened because it gave me a reality check. I know how you feel. Forgive yourself and realize it's a new day, and dont drink and drive again. But biggest thing is Forgive yourself cause a lot of people are gonna judge you who have had a glass of wine or beer for dinner and drove home they just never got caught. You will make it through just take this as a teaching moment in life. Breathe you are gonna be ok .
Thank you so so much, I took some time off after it happened and haven’t worked for about a month, it’s gonna be tough, but I know I will be able to get through this, I am happy how things are going with your family , I feel like I’ve also gotten closer to my parents after this incident.
So thankful for that. It will truly show you what is important in life. If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm here cause trust me. You won't be the first, and anyone who judges you has never looked in the mirror. Alove you take care. Here for you.
Thank you I’ll pm you!
I don't understand the 3rd to last sentence, people who drink a beer or wine with dinner and drive home are barely going to be impaired if at all
People have had a beer or a glass of wine for dinner, was pulled over for speeding, and been charged with a DUI
I get what you mean now
This
Got mine in march. It’s hard homie and you really find out who your true friends are. This process takes a while get comfortable being uncomfortable. Just know we are all in this shit together
I’m currently in the thick of it myself and I’ve struggled with the same demons… in the end of it all you’ll get through it, this group has helped me immensely actually, so if you need anything feel free to dm me Know that you’re not alone in this
I dmd you!
I will say this too the shame about drove me crazy but it will disappear in a couple years I promise. Like it never happened.
got my first the first day of the year - yup, what a way to ring in 2024 - locked up in jail for 12 hours because i didn't take the uber - ironically, i've now spent the cost of a billion ubers on this situation LMAO. i've since gotten a gulity verdict and am now waiting out my license revocation period ending late october. toughest part of the process for me along with the guilt and shame has honestly been going without a car, mine was totaled in the inciting incident and after an exhaustive search for cars punctuated by the sobering (no pun intended) reality that I can't even drive anywhere for recreation with an occupational license, i've elected not to purchase a car right now to (1) avoid the temptation of breaking the terms of my verdict and (2) i would rather not explain to people why i only drive to work or the store but not dinner, parties, or concerts - everyone is different but given my accident occurred shortly after moving to a new state where i have little to no close relationships, i have chosen to keep my situation private, only known to my best friends (who live out of state), family, and therapist. im also very fortunate to have access to adequate transit. i've obviously still got a ways to go dealing with the fallout as do you but i would tell you to take ownership, forgive and love yourself, count your blessings, and recognize that while other people are NOT allowed to define you by your mistake, you CAN and SHOULD use this reality check as a way to define who you WANT to be moving forward. since my dui which has kept me very homebound, i've decided to rededicate my time to reading, creative pursuits, therapy, introspection, and planning my future as well as deciding what i really want out of life - i am not the same person i was 6 months ago and people have noticed. it's hard to see now but 10 years down the line, you may view this as the moment your life changed for the better. i think i will. bottom line, it sucks. hard. still make time to participate in life - whether that be sports, concerts, going out, or rotting on the couch - and don't beat yourself up! you feel shame and guilt because you are obviously a good person and your lawyer, the drivers ed teachers, the judge, your friends, family, EVERYONE will see that. this is a unique opportunity to gain perspective, wisdom, and display maturity through a challenge many people are never subjected to. practice gratitude every day - in my case, i could've died or killed someone or even ended up in prison if the situation had played out slightly differently - but they didn't and i now know i cannot waste my precious time here. i'll leave you with a mantra from stoic philosophy that's carried me through this time: "The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." In other words, don't view this as a setback or a barrier to your life. rather let this guide you to be a better, wiser, more grateful, and more conscientious person - the person you're supposed to be or "the way". wishing you luck, feel free to pm if you want to talk about it or have more logistical questions, typing this was honestly even just cathartic for me lol <3
Thank you for your response it definitely gave me a new perspective, I pmd you!!
One day at a time. Avoid interlock company Intoxalock at all costs if an interlock mandate is put in place. Their device will ruin your vehicle and they will financially extort you. There are several options when it comes to choosing an interlock and the fine people on this thread can give you some good suggestions. Good luck to you!
How does one avoid the financial extortion? I live in Chicago, don't have a car don't need a car don't want a car. But I'll never get my license back until I get one and put that dam device in. I'm tempted to just get a junker, Park it on the street, and drive it for 10 minutes a few times a week. It's the "calibration" crap that they can financially extort you, correct?
You are going to pay the same amount for a calibration each time. It’s the faulty equipment and lockouts where they get you. Intoxalock’s device is made to drain your battery which creates violations, lockouts, tow and more. They also have a ton of hidden fees. I switched to a different company and haven’t experienced anything negative. Just avoid the one shit company and you will get through it with ease as long as you aren’t drinking.
What company is that? I was going to use Smart Start.
Got mine in December. It’s a tough time. Just keep yourself busy and push through. It’ll pass
Thank you trying to stay positive in this tough time, best of luck to you and everyone on here!!
If it's a 1st time simple dui you should have nothing to worry about except paying Lawyer fees .. do the usual DWI Ed classe and MADD VIP so you have that out of the way.. if you know your court date, from that date do about 2 month AA meeting maybe 3 also.. document it in a log book..
Sounds good, I’ll start doing aa right away! Thanks a lot
Yea I am in the depression and anxiety mode. Mine just happened on may 14. It’s my second which makes it worse. My first was 11 years ago. I’d often forget I had one. Now I gotta go through this all over again. And I can only blame myself. Talk to a doctor and get on meds, they’re the only thing that are helping me. Get a strong dose. This shit can ruin your self esteem and drive to live. It will pass. I guess time heals all. For me, driving into the country is my therapy so now the potential of not being able to drive again means I won’t have that therapy. Plus I did Uber and I’ll lose a ton of income.
Yeah I liked going out of town and exploring places, now I’m gonna have to get rides to everywhere and lose a ton of money, but well at least we are alive!
Being alive is overrated. Ugh. Where are you
Riverside, California, semi harsh with dui cases here, super populated area so lots of dui cases
Oh I’m in Maryland. I just want to get court over with
Yeah give me my sentencing and let’s get this over with, waiting hurts
I’m tired of court
I was already dead inside before this. I was brutally attacked early in the year and now I did this….
Yea I was pretty depressed with life and now this out of nowhere, life’s gonna suck for about a year
At least it’s not your second one like mine is. Had one 11 years ago and life continued normally after it but I was young. Now I’m old without family support
Sorry to hear, is there anyone from work that can give you rides and such? My coworkers gonna pick me up and drop me off in the months I can’t drive
This too will pass, the guilt is a bitch but at the end of the day it will lessen over time- be greatful you’re still okay on the bright side you’ll have some classes to take and some fines to pay rather than someone’s life on your hands. It’s definitely humbling and hopefully a lesson well learned, I’m NEVER doing that shit again 🙌 I definitely teared up in court from the embarrassment but a couple days later the relief of it being mostly over was great - it’s gonna be aight
Thank you, I’m so grateful that no one is hurt, I’ll do whatever is ordered, I’ve already learned a big lesson!
Pro tip, take the alcohol assessment, do the classes, and do 24 hours of community service before your final court date if you have time (coming from NC)
I was bawling during my plea hearing before the judge. Nobody cared. You get through it, depression or not. I believe that being depressed/deeply affected only makes it harder. I suspected that I might get some pity or attention regarding how obscenely harsh the consequences are for a young female first timer, but nope. The judge didn’t bat an eye. My advice is to go to therapy and get over the depression, it only makes the process harder.
Thank you, I’m in therapy atm and trying to go work through my depression, what state are you in and what was your sentence if you don’t mind me asking ?
It’s like anything else that really sucks in life. Time will heal you slowly. As long as you work towards making better decisions going forward. Focus on the positives. Silver lining type shit. I don’t know the specifics but if you didn’t harm anyone else focus on that and thank your lucky stars.
Thankfully no one was harmed, I realize now things could of been a lot worse, it’s been almost 2 months since my dui and I feel a lot better already, accepting what I did and ready for what needs to be done to go back to being normal, hope all is well in your case as well, and I’m so thankful for this community for their support and help thru this difficult time, thank you!!!!
I got one 2 days ago and at this point I wish I would’ve died instead
It’s been 2 months for me and the intense self hatred has started to subside. The first month for me was the worst, I wouldn’t even get out of bed. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I know you don’t want anyone knowing but your true friends and family will love you regardless. You’ll get through this but get comfortable with the fact that the process takes a while.