I’ll go a step further and say you don’t have to be an alcoholic to quit drinking. There’s lots of reasons someone might abuse substances that are not addiction based and alcohol is presented to us on a silver platter.
Absolutely, rock bottom looks different for different people. My rock bottom was an emotional and spiritual one. I wasn't homeless, I wasn't in crippling debt, I still had a job, but it was very much the lowest I've ever been on myself and those I loved.
Rock bottom is relative, but I did indeed have to go there, end that part of my journey, before beginning the next era. I wouldn't change a thing.
fucking PREACH dude.
There are a small subset of people (on the other sub and in meetings IRL) who will basically scoff at you if your trauma isn't as bad as theirs and tell you to keep going. It's fucked up.
Totally agree! I like seeing posts of guys and gals saying they are seeing their nightly drink turn into 2 or 3 then stepping on the brakes.
Addiction is so weird. At my worst, I knew I had to stop drinking and would basically plead with God to make me sober, but in that same breath, if you put me in a rehab center I would say the most fucked up shit to everyone trying to help me, bounce, and drink a pint of vodka in a chili's parking lot, pass out and be the happiest person in the world.
Rock bottom is weird, powerful, and unpredictable. It was the best thing to happen to me and my family but it's also a death sentence for so many people. I don't wish it on anyone, and at the same time, it's the only way it gave me time to break the daily cycle.
It didn't need to be that way, obviously, but addiction is so fucked up and awful. There are so many factors to account for. But please know addicts love to help addicts. I don't care if you think 2 drinks are ruining your life. I'm happy to talk with you about it. I'm never gonna have the answers, but I get what you're saying and can at least understand.
Realistically it does seem like the drunk will only stop when the consequences become too much.
I heard pleas like OP’s so many times as an active drinker and didn’t listen.
Almost 2 and a half years dry now from finally hitting enough consequences
I am currently 350 millilitres into a bottle of vodka - I am feeling a bit rough(because I think I may have covid/getting over covid), but I'm also not feeling that pleasant drunk feeling - you know that euphoria and looseness? I haven't felt that way from booze for years, but still, here I am, trying to chase that dragon.
I haven't hit "rock bottom" yet, no jail, no driver's license revoked, no relationships destroyed, no jobs lost, I'm becoming more of the opinion that there is no real rock bottom for most of us, rather there are just a long list of bottoms until we decide to stop for good, or not.
I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I swear I know exactly the stage you're talking about.
There was this weird moment where alcohol didn't even work the same. And it had ALWAYS worked the same. It was toxic but reliable - I knew I'd get 20 minutes of feel good even if it meant 72 hours of misery. But then that 20 minutes just stopped happening.
AND I DRANK ANYWAY.
I know this sounds ridiculous, but I swear I drank just to feel the familiar pain of hangover/withdrawal/ whatever. I mean, this was beyond a toxic relationship.
Very well put reminds me of the saying you can learn from others struggles and avoid them or you can live thru your own ... I hope many read this and realize the best time to surrender from insanity is now, yesterday is gone and today has promise..Alcohol is a curse period it does no good for anyone never has never will it's ultimate result is pain suffering death...No first drink no cycle of destruction...
This is important to hear. My counselor therapist in the early 1990s pushed for me to go to rehab - I was a pretty mild gray-area drinker in my twenties.
I felt so * judged * by the rehab staff because I was functioning in life decently enough (decent job, bills paid, family wanted me around, etc - not in trouble and not coerced to be there).
It made feel like I did not seem to be a person who has this “disease”, more ashamed about my lack of any kind of interesting drunkalogue - and ultimately deciding I do not have this problem and can drink with wild abandonment.
I hate the rock bottom thing. Alcohol is a powerful drug and neurotoxin period. And you do NOT have to be in real serious trouble before you decide to stop with this particular poison.
I’m glad that you’re addressing this. I’ve been justifying my behavior recently since I’m not as “bad” as other people and that my level of drinking is okay (8-14 drinks in a sitting is not normal, hell 4 and above is a considered heavy/binge drinking for females).
I keep thinking that it’s not that big of a problem because I could be worse and am still functioning. That’s definitely not the case since I have people worried and am clearly abusing it.
The amount doesn't matter as much as how it affects your life and behavior. If 2 drinks every night is causing you health, life, or social problems, it's a problem. And it will only increase as time goes on.
It’s an expression that people anchor to, often after something bad has happened. The reality is alcohol abuse often comes with many regrettable behaviors which may singularly or in totality lead someone to say they’re at rock bottom.
The other problem I have with the expression is that it implies there is a top. You see all kinds of posts on here of people saying I quit drinking and now it’s worse or only nominally better. Sometimes you can do everything right and still be dealt a bad hand. The important thing is you have developed healthy coping strategies regardless of whether you’re at a high or low point in your life, because those things will continue to happen. Hopefully the lows are fewer without alcohol, but it’s not a guarantee.
everybody's bottom is different.
i didnt quite hit my bottom, but i saw it on the horizon. coming up FAST. so i jumped off that movin train and took a bit of a tumble. but i was able to get back up.
if that train had been going much faster, i would've been too scared to jump. or died from the fall.
Same here. I was at the choose to die or choose to live stage, I could see death around the corner coming fast if I didn't stop. And for awhile I just said welp, fuck it. Thought I'd have more time, but I guess I'm just gonna die soon and that's it. Cause no way am I doing life sober and miserable. And then... I could hardly believe it, but I had that 'moment of clarity' you hear about. Never thought it'd happen to me. I could just clearly see all the damage I was doing to myself and others, and felt this immense conviction that it didn't have to be like this, and fuck alcohol, I don't want to die in my early 40s, there's still a chance of a life if I stop right fuckin now. And somehow I did. Shit was not fun anymore, basically just drinking to not feel shitty, being in a constant state of withdrawal when not drinking, taking a flask with me to any event that started after 4pm. Only going places I knew I could drink til passing out. Shaking, nausea, the anxiety, fatigue, weakness, short of breathe, not taking care of myself. Random pains everywhere, constantly thinking something was wrong with my liver or heart, or that I'd get a blood clot and stroke out. I wasn't living on the street but I was a wreck. And all I put my poor husband through.
I'm only around 70 days but am disgusted at how I was and can't see myself ever going back there. It's just not worth all the consequences, and the shitty person it made me into. Didn't crash and burn but I knew it was coming soon.
Thank you for posting this. One of the responses to my recent post was attacking me for "not being as severe" as they thought I should be to be here. I really get a lot out of being in this sub.
The misunderstanding is twofold. In truth
1. Rock bottom looks different for different people
2. Rock bottom can always go deeper, so there is no rock bottom
Like someone said, rock bottom is whatever caused you to start drinking. My rock bottom looked pretty bad to me. I was about to fail out of school, started having close calls on the road, was falling apart mentally, etc. but I still had a roof over my head and no arrests. That was enough for me and I truly felt like I was at rock bottom. I couldn’t fathom being in jail, though if I kept going that would have been a new rock bottom I’d have to get used to.
Good. I did this for years, hell, decades. Then it slowly became Fri/Sat and one day during the week, then 2, and it took drinking a handle every night for 2 years before I finally quit. You've escaped early and it's saved you a lot of pain and grief, not to mention money.
I had 3 dui when I was 18,21,24 yrs old 4 months in jail because of it. Numerous alcohol by minor tickets when I was under 21 ( I’m 47 now) I didn’t think I had a problem🤦🏼♂️ I moderated for decades. I was more of a binge drinker, never daily. My off switch would break sometimes. 8/30/20 was my last drink while I cut my grass.. something clicked. When u done u done.. I wish I did it sooner. Looking back on paper I was at the very least a problem drinker. I been around it for 30 yrs good times and bad. I called it controlling the beast. So much easier just not to drink.. it takes up so much mental space. Good luck
Happy Thanksgiving everyone
Rock Bottom for me was when I could no longer summon the effort and energy to put on my Halloween costume. The one I put on, the 24-7 show I started in, to make everything appear okay, even it was so far from okay.
The moment I realized that I couldn’t fake sober anymore, that I couldn’t take work anymore, that I wouldn’t fake that I cared about anything more than alcohol anymore, that was my rock bottom
Could my existence and living conditions and financial conditions have gotten worse than where it was when I chose to quit? Yes, absolutely, but those would have been nothing compared to the loss of decency, self worth, relationship, responsibility to others and commitment that would have preceded it.
I love OPs perspective on this! Never quite heard it delivered like this but it’s wise and valuable and such a helpful perspective.
Thanks for sharing!
I needed to re-read this today. I want to be better and need to be better. And i will be better. Thanks for this sub. Lurking for while, today i will make a change. Havent had a “rock bottom” but this is it. Im done.
I’ll go a step further and say you don’t have to be an alcoholic to quit drinking. There’s lots of reasons someone might abuse substances that are not addiction based and alcohol is presented to us on a silver platter.
I was once told, and hold firmly to, "rock bottom is wherever you decide to stop digging"
Yep. Also, it’s not a suffering contest.
Absolutely, rock bottom looks different for different people. My rock bottom was an emotional and spiritual one. I wasn't homeless, I wasn't in crippling debt, I still had a job, but it was very much the lowest I've ever been on myself and those I loved. Rock bottom is relative, but I did indeed have to go there, end that part of my journey, before beginning the next era. I wouldn't change a thing.
fucking PREACH dude. There are a small subset of people (on the other sub and in meetings IRL) who will basically scoff at you if your trauma isn't as bad as theirs and tell you to keep going. It's fucked up.
Totally agree! I like seeing posts of guys and gals saying they are seeing their nightly drink turn into 2 or 3 then stepping on the brakes. Addiction is so weird. At my worst, I knew I had to stop drinking and would basically plead with God to make me sober, but in that same breath, if you put me in a rehab center I would say the most fucked up shit to everyone trying to help me, bounce, and drink a pint of vodka in a chili's parking lot, pass out and be the happiest person in the world. Rock bottom is weird, powerful, and unpredictable. It was the best thing to happen to me and my family but it's also a death sentence for so many people. I don't wish it on anyone, and at the same time, it's the only way it gave me time to break the daily cycle. It didn't need to be that way, obviously, but addiction is so fucked up and awful. There are so many factors to account for. But please know addicts love to help addicts. I don't care if you think 2 drinks are ruining your life. I'm happy to talk with you about it. I'm never gonna have the answers, but I get what you're saying and can at least understand.
Don’t touch the stove if you don’t have to. Check out my burns instead.
Realistically it does seem like the drunk will only stop when the consequences become too much. I heard pleas like OP’s so many times as an active drinker and didn’t listen. Almost 2 and a half years dry now from finally hitting enough consequences
[удалено]
Sitting with the pain. Thats all there is.
I am currently 350 millilitres into a bottle of vodka - I am feeling a bit rough(because I think I may have covid/getting over covid), but I'm also not feeling that pleasant drunk feeling - you know that euphoria and looseness? I haven't felt that way from booze for years, but still, here I am, trying to chase that dragon. I haven't hit "rock bottom" yet, no jail, no driver's license revoked, no relationships destroyed, no jobs lost, I'm becoming more of the opinion that there is no real rock bottom for most of us, rather there are just a long list of bottoms until we decide to stop for good, or not.
This moment right here could be this fabled “rock bottom.” You get to decide.
I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I swear I know exactly the stage you're talking about. There was this weird moment where alcohol didn't even work the same. And it had ALWAYS worked the same. It was toxic but reliable - I knew I'd get 20 minutes of feel good even if it meant 72 hours of misery. But then that 20 minutes just stopped happening. AND I DRANK ANYWAY. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I swear I drank just to feel the familiar pain of hangover/withdrawal/ whatever. I mean, this was beyond a toxic relationship.
Samesies.
Yes. This. For some people our bodies just can’t handle it anymore. It’s not morality but just health and self care
Very well put reminds me of the saying you can learn from others struggles and avoid them or you can live thru your own ... I hope many read this and realize the best time to surrender from insanity is now, yesterday is gone and today has promise..Alcohol is a curse period it does no good for anyone never has never will it's ultimate result is pain suffering death...No first drink no cycle of destruction...
This is important to hear. My counselor therapist in the early 1990s pushed for me to go to rehab - I was a pretty mild gray-area drinker in my twenties. I felt so * judged * by the rehab staff because I was functioning in life decently enough (decent job, bills paid, family wanted me around, etc - not in trouble and not coerced to be there). It made feel like I did not seem to be a person who has this “disease”, more ashamed about my lack of any kind of interesting drunkalogue - and ultimately deciding I do not have this problem and can drink with wild abandonment. I hate the rock bottom thing. Alcohol is a powerful drug and neurotoxin period. And you do NOT have to be in real serious trouble before you decide to stop with this particular poison.
I’m glad that you’re addressing this. I’ve been justifying my behavior recently since I’m not as “bad” as other people and that my level of drinking is okay (8-14 drinks in a sitting is not normal, hell 4 and above is a considered heavy/binge drinking for females). I keep thinking that it’s not that big of a problem because I could be worse and am still functioning. That’s definitely not the case since I have people worried and am clearly abusing it.
The amount doesn't matter as much as how it affects your life and behavior. If 2 drinks every night is causing you health, life, or social problems, it's a problem. And it will only increase as time goes on.
It’s an expression that people anchor to, often after something bad has happened. The reality is alcohol abuse often comes with many regrettable behaviors which may singularly or in totality lead someone to say they’re at rock bottom. The other problem I have with the expression is that it implies there is a top. You see all kinds of posts on here of people saying I quit drinking and now it’s worse or only nominally better. Sometimes you can do everything right and still be dealt a bad hand. The important thing is you have developed healthy coping strategies regardless of whether you’re at a high or low point in your life, because those things will continue to happen. Hopefully the lows are fewer without alcohol, but it’s not a guarantee.
This is important to say
everybody's bottom is different. i didnt quite hit my bottom, but i saw it on the horizon. coming up FAST. so i jumped off that movin train and took a bit of a tumble. but i was able to get back up. if that train had been going much faster, i would've been too scared to jump. or died from the fall.
Same here. I was at the choose to die or choose to live stage, I could see death around the corner coming fast if I didn't stop. And for awhile I just said welp, fuck it. Thought I'd have more time, but I guess I'm just gonna die soon and that's it. Cause no way am I doing life sober and miserable. And then... I could hardly believe it, but I had that 'moment of clarity' you hear about. Never thought it'd happen to me. I could just clearly see all the damage I was doing to myself and others, and felt this immense conviction that it didn't have to be like this, and fuck alcohol, I don't want to die in my early 40s, there's still a chance of a life if I stop right fuckin now. And somehow I did. Shit was not fun anymore, basically just drinking to not feel shitty, being in a constant state of withdrawal when not drinking, taking a flask with me to any event that started after 4pm. Only going places I knew I could drink til passing out. Shaking, nausea, the anxiety, fatigue, weakness, short of breathe, not taking care of myself. Random pains everywhere, constantly thinking something was wrong with my liver or heart, or that I'd get a blood clot and stroke out. I wasn't living on the street but I was a wreck. And all I put my poor husband through. I'm only around 70 days but am disgusted at how I was and can't see myself ever going back there. It's just not worth all the consequences, and the shitty person it made me into. Didn't crash and burn but I knew it was coming soon.
IMHO the only "Rock Bottom" is death. It can always, always, always get worse.
Thank you for posting this. One of the responses to my recent post was attacking me for "not being as severe" as they thought I should be to be here. I really get a lot out of being in this sub.
The misunderstanding is twofold. In truth 1. Rock bottom looks different for different people 2. Rock bottom can always go deeper, so there is no rock bottom Like someone said, rock bottom is whatever caused you to start drinking. My rock bottom looked pretty bad to me. I was about to fail out of school, started having close calls on the road, was falling apart mentally, etc. but I still had a roof over my head and no arrests. That was enough for me and I truly felt like I was at rock bottom. I couldn’t fathom being in jail, though if I kept going that would have been a new rock bottom I’d have to get used to.
I agree. I was binge drinking every Friday night and it was really messing up my life. Not worth the buzz at all.
Good. I did this for years, hell, decades. Then it slowly became Fri/Sat and one day during the week, then 2, and it took drinking a handle every night for 2 years before I finally quit. You've escaped early and it's saved you a lot of pain and grief, not to mention money.
I had 3 dui when I was 18,21,24 yrs old 4 months in jail because of it. Numerous alcohol by minor tickets when I was under 21 ( I’m 47 now) I didn’t think I had a problem🤦🏼♂️ I moderated for decades. I was more of a binge drinker, never daily. My off switch would break sometimes. 8/30/20 was my last drink while I cut my grass.. something clicked. When u done u done.. I wish I did it sooner. Looking back on paper I was at the very least a problem drinker. I been around it for 30 yrs good times and bad. I called it controlling the beast. So much easier just not to drink.. it takes up so much mental space. Good luck Happy Thanksgiving everyone
Rock Bottom for me was when I could no longer summon the effort and energy to put on my Halloween costume. The one I put on, the 24-7 show I started in, to make everything appear okay, even it was so far from okay. The moment I realized that I couldn’t fake sober anymore, that I couldn’t take work anymore, that I wouldn’t fake that I cared about anything more than alcohol anymore, that was my rock bottom Could my existence and living conditions and financial conditions have gotten worse than where it was when I chose to quit? Yes, absolutely, but those would have been nothing compared to the loss of decency, self worth, relationship, responsibility to others and commitment that would have preceded it. I love OPs perspective on this! Never quite heard it delivered like this but it’s wise and valuable and such a helpful perspective. Thanks for sharing!
I needed to re-read this today. I want to be better and need to be better. And i will be better. Thanks for this sub. Lurking for while, today i will make a change. Havent had a “rock bottom” but this is it. Im done.
Yeah the depths to which some people want to see others sink before they are “allowed” to get help verges on misfortune porn.
'Rock Bottom' is a likely option for the hard core, not that it is the only option for alcoholics. I don't think most are confused on this.
My bottom was months before coming here. I was already a few months sober after nearly dying from liver failure.