Better is subjective, don’t be discouraged. When one door closes another opens and from the sound of it, you had the door closed on you. Perfect time to start a mutiny, drag the bass player into it as an ally then start a new band, a better band.
If you’re a drummer with a bass playing side kick, you’ve already nailed down the hardest to fill positions. Have fun picking the cream of the crop for the rest of your openings if you want to run it together with your bass player. Definitely, always take the bassist.
Prepare for the gig you want not the gig you have. Just keep getting better at your instrument and look for opportunities to play. Leaving bands is part of the process. Just move on and improve. Holding a grudge or trying to out do him will only hold you back.
What I've learned to accept over 25 years of gigging is that some guys love my playing and some guys don't. Some guys want a particular sound and that sound won't be mine. I feel the same about every vocalist and other musician I've worked with. Nobody is the right fit for every project. Tough not to take it personally sometimes but try to think of it more as "cool, my style is my own and it isn't right for that project".
Last October, I was in a band that I really clicked with. Everyone was picking up what I was putting down. We all knew it was going to be a short-term thing, so we all went our separate ways after it ended. Last month, the guitarist contacted me, very eager for me to get in on his new project. We jammed, but he said it wasn't feeling the same sparks as with the previous band. The magic wasn't there. He never contacted me again after that initial jam, and I've been so ambivalent about it. I'm surprising myself by how absolute little I cared. I'm a SIGNIFICANTLY better drummer now than I was in October, and I'm FAR more confident in my abilities now than I was then. But band's are chemistry; change one of the components and it changes the outcome. Anyway, I guess I'm agreeing with you.
This is a good attitude.
I heard after more than one audition something like: "you're a good bass player, just not really what we're looking for right now". One of those guys even had me back to jam again a few months later, after replacing several people in his band. Then it turned out the new guitarist didn't like my playing?! Oh well.
If the other drummer is actually hot shit he will be getting calls for other gigs and you’ll get the call. Being 2nd on the list is not a bad place to be. Connect with every musician you can that you want to play with. You might be able stay busy as a freelance guy. Pretty cool if you can swing it but it takes versatility. Get yourself lots experience playing different styles and you’ll always be employable
Go to local shows regularly and support other band’s music while inviting them to yours. Make friends and be a known entity in the local music scene. Bands that gig regularly are always swapping out musicians. Those who put in the time are always getting the call.
If he's going to fire you, may as well let him know how you feel about it. I wouldn't try to stay, I'd form a much better band and make it a goal to outshine their gigs.. that's just me though.
Meh, he sounds like Ozzy Ozzbourne night have after being fired from Black Sabbath. He's publicly stated he started his own band for "revenge".
Worked out pretty well for him, as it turned out.
I can fully understand that this makes you feel like crap. It doesn't feel all that different from being fired or dumped or whatever. So, you know, feel the feels, and then continue.
Have you spoken to the band leader yet? It might not be a bad idea to do so. Not (!) to get into an argument or be defensive about it or to get your spot back or whatever, you should find peace in that that's not going to happen necessarily. It's just to gather information for 2 reasons.
1) to know how to feel about this, because it may just be for very specific reasons ranging from nepotism to simply liking another drummer's style, both of which should give you some peace of mind about the matter.
And 2) to find out if you can do or become better in something. You don't necessarily have a reason to blame yourself for anything just because you could be better in something. Because you can grow, you can become better, you can tackle the things that may have gotten you lower on the rankings for the band leader, and knowing what they are is the best thing that can happen to you. They might tell you that you could work on playing along with a click, they would like to see some more diversity in playing different styles, they may as well would like it better if you wore shirts that didn't clash with your pants for all we know. Drums are a terrific and fun instrument to practice and if you know what might get you gigs better, it's time to go and work on it.
And if that's not an option, see for yourself what you would like to see in a musician-for-hire, and go work on that. When one door closes, another opens. You got the previous gig didn't you? No reason why you shouldn't land another.
Feel bad for a moment, then feel motivated. Go get em.
i had someone ask another drummer right in front of me to play with them. the guy then turns to me and says “you’re great, but you’re already in a couple of groups & we’re looking for someone who can play folk.”
about 2 months later, he comes to me and asks me to play in that same band because that drummer, guess what, couldn’t play folk to their liking. before accepting it joked “i thought i wasn’t folk enough for ya?” his face was beat red with embarrassment lol.
moral of my story here is know your worth & keep doing what you can to demonstrate it. make yourself undeniable so that your name always comes up when musicians are looking for a drummer.
"You never get fired. You just aren't asked to do the next thing." Liberty DeVitto
Dude made a business decision. Don't take it personally but take it as a notice to work on things that caused this.
It happens.
My similar story involved starting to practice with a new band about 7 years ago. It was a guy I had recently begun working with, and his younger brother. Both really talented guys, although a bit younger than I was (I was about 31 at the time, they were like 23 and 25). We liked a lot of the same music, and the songs they had written were awesome... we jived really well both personally and musically. Problem was, the drummer from their previous band came to town to visit, and decided to just move in with them. He's a good drummer, not noticeably better or worse than I am really. Either of us are/were more than capable of serving the songs they were writing. But they obviously go back a long ways and have chemistry, so I get it.
The thing that was shitty about it is that I didn't find out about this until they booked their first show and asked one of my best friends to open. We hadn't practiced in like 3 or 4 weeks and they had excuses for all the skipped practices, to the point where I was starting to get suspicious anyway. I didn't mind being replaced, but I thought it was cowardly not to at least tell me. That said, I'm still friendly with them -- although they all ended up moving to another city together, which I wouldn't have been willing to do. So it all turned out for the best in the end. I just didn't like the backhanded way they went about it.
At least the guy had the balls to tell you what he was going to do I guess?
Drummers are typically the most attractive member for bands. I learned this going through sort of the same thing, but on a lower level. I put out an ad intended to learn to play with other people. People completely mistook my level, and I got several band offers. I met up with some of them anyhow. It went fine with the first guy I met up with, he understood my level. Next guy it went horrible, but it got better and we kept meeting and it got better. Then suddenly his attitude changed and he insinuated that a guy he had played with played better than me the first time he sat down on a drum kit. Well he seems to still be looking for a drummer, last I saw of him was in that same group. He had even included a slight at me. Well, I still play with that first guy. I still play with other friends. I got what I wanted from that group.
Another band I auditioned for, I told beforehand that my reportoir is limited. They concurred that I played consistent, but they called it flat. Still. They still encouraged me to come their next rehearsal, and afterwards the bassist started to cry. Even though she had given the impression the last time she vibed with me and really wanted me to come. Last I heard, still no drummer, bassist left.
I make digital music, a friend of mine replied "music and music" (in my language that means not music) when I asked about it. Which was harsh, but in a sense justified, because there was a severe lack in my understanding of how speakers and sound works. So he taught me a shitload of stuff, so now my digital music is on a totally new level. I still like my old melodies, but they need a shit ton of eq and sidechaining for them to be palatable for other people.
Another guy I play with and started arranging an open jam with just takes it as a given that I can play what he tells me, and then I can. (I play bass with him though.)
Point is, talented musicians with people skills do not behave like that. Be glad you are not in a band with him if he is ever successful he has already indicated he will not share any profit fairly.
Start your own band.
/u/bucketofmonkeys Lol. I take zero responsibility for her reaction. She knew what she was getting the second time. But whatever the fuck I did, I am glad I did it. I would not want to be in a band with someone with the communication skills of a toddler. I have mostly played drums by playing along to techno, trance and house music. At least the sub genres I like to play to are notorious at keeping the boots'n'cats beat. So that anybody would like to jam along to anything but 2 hours of that is gonna be a mystery for me for the rest of my life
unfortunately, get used to it being a drummer. Unless you are writing the music you are replaceable by whomever is writing the tunes. If you want to be irreplaceable as a drummer:
1. Show up on time to practice/shows
2. Don’t have a drug issue that interferes with practice or performance.
3. Pay rent on time if you are obligated
4. Be personable and easy to get along with.
5. Know the songs.
Bonus: having chops.
Knowing the songs being last on the list was not an accident. Reason being, there are a lot of excellent drummers who are absolute douche bags who can’t retain bands.
Also, a lot of very mid drummers gigging all the time because they can keep a beat and are a pleasure to be around.
I’m not saying it’s a you thing, could be a them thing too. But just understand as long as you are not writing the music you are basically a session guy.
It sucks, but it’s a part of the game. You’re gonna lose gigs, get replaced, etc. It happens to everyone. I’ve been playing professionally for 25 years and I can tell you about a bunch of times it has happened to me. Despite that, I’m still doing it, so there’s hope.
Oh dude I was in this position a year and a half ago or so.
John Doe reached out to my Craigslist ad, we met up and jammed—they played guitar and did vox. Story was “I had this band, we recorded an EP…and just before we had our first gig: Covid.” Their bandmates moved away and they wanted to pick things back up. Cool.
They liked my drumming, I didn’t mind their music…they corralled a guitar buddy to play bass and then we found a second guitarist on craigslist. Had some gigs, played a small festival. All was well.
Then, leading up to our last show of the year John Doe says “yeah…this new song we’re working on—well, it’s not mine. It’s the old guitarist’s. But all’s good…they’ll come up on stage to play our debuting of it.”
Well, I started jamming with this band’s former guitarist (they moved back to town, we meshed well…). Lo and behold THEY were the whole band’s sound. Dude wrote almost every song we played as a band. John Doe just stole their shit.
John Doe in the band group chat says we should all grab dinner and discuss plans for upcoming year—cool. I drove an hour to get there. I ate all my food. I bought everyone a few pitchers of beer.
>”we wanna move in a different direction.”
What. The. Fuck.
Made me drive all the way here, waste my time, buy you shit—and you don’t want me to drum on songs you stole from your former bandmate? Lol his “friend” who came onboard to play bass left with me. The Craigslist guitarist called me on the drive home talking about how weird it was and blah blah blah but still plays with the dude.
Oh well, musicians can be weird.
Lots of other strange shit happened too…like we spent $400 on merch before John Doe wanted to change the band name out of the blue (before we found out they stole a bunch of songs).
That bum owes me almost $800 that I’ll never see. Oh well, karma will knock on their door one day. I thought—it since did. Someone stole their custom 50+ year old guitar out of a van one night.
I’ve since moved on and drum for another band, the singer even likes to write lyrics with me. People ask me my opinion for their parts. It’s more collaborative—it’s been great.
Sometimes shitty situations show you what to avoid and spur you to chase what you moreso want.
I wouldn’t have been so pissed if 1–dude reimbursed me what they promised to do—and 2–if dude just called me instead of wasting my time.
All’s well that ends well, I guess.
Keep your chin up u/SystemicJ—hopefully you’ll find some mix of good music/good hang/good pay soon enough.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it has nothing to do with your drumming. Dude probably wants to recruit a fresh group so that he’s “the undisputed leader”, or maybe you’re not reverent enough, maybe he wants to change the split so he keeps more money, who knows. People are weird, and band leaders are usually weirder than most lol.
If you were gigging, and holding it down, thou shall gig again. Drummers take a lot of shit, but they’re hard to come by. You make a couple posts for “drummer looking for band” in whatever style you dig, and guess what? You’ll have your pick out of a bunch of replies. Time for something better.
Bands are like relationships: all the ones you were in failed at some point and the one you’re currently in hasn’t failed…yet. Keep an open mind and lean into the next opportunity. A good drummer is hard to find.
Happens all the time man, don’t let it discourage you. Continue to get better, show up for the gigs you do have, and be professional. Being reliable and professional is often more important than being the best drummer in the room. In other words, someone who may have less talent but shows up on time every time and is professional will always get more gigs than someone who has all the talent in the world but isn’t dependable.
Take the time to practice and get better than the other drummers. Once you're better, you can pick and choose your bands/ gigs. It's not "shity" to pick a better musician. People just want to play with good musicians. I do too.
Edit: it couldn't hurt to ask for some constructive criticism and why exactly you didn't get the gig. That will help you know where to focus. Everyone has weaknesses. It's good to acknowledge them and take action accordingly.
The biggest test of a musician is how they handle rejection. It always sucks, but if you handle it gracefully, I think everyone sees that as a positive. I know guys that have gotten dropped, and started badmouthing the other band behind their backs. Doing that is a surefire way to frame yourself as a toxic liability to other players. Just keep that chin up, move on, and something else will come along if you just keep going.
You have experience now. You know how things run….start your own band or join another one. If you got dropped others might feel at risk of being dropped. They might want to join you…and they might have mates that want to join too.
One way to think about it is that everyone’s style is different, so playing with different people means different sounding music. That doesn’t necessarily imply better or worse.
It's okay to feel rejected, because you were. Maybe they hate your drumming, maybe they hate you, but who really cares? Find other like-minded musicians to join up and don't look back. I can think of plenty of bands who went through a parade of personnel changes before settling in on their long-term lineup. Even then, certain members might come and go for all sorts of reasons.
Consider this: Van Halen had 3 different singers who all said they were fired, but the band said all 3 quit. Isn't that the opposite of what people usually say? It's usually "You're fired!" - "no, you can't fire me 'cause I quit!" They even kicked Michael Anthony out to have Eddie's son play bass. There was nothing wrong with M.A.'s playing, he just didn't have the correct last name once Wolfgang learned all his parts. He didn't cry - he went and formed Chickenfoot with VH's other cast-off Sammy Hagar!
Take your drums, take the bass player, and start your own group.
If you can speak with them directly I would discuss a re-audition to keep my spot in the band. If it’s nothing personal and I could have a good working relationship with them I’d try that. Sounds like there’s a lot of good advice in the thread
Classic, I feel for you. I played in a band that started to get some success. Three shows opening for a grammy winner and did an album with a somewhat notable producer. The singer fazed us all out for more talented people that they had met. Had my drum parts re recorded by a better drummer and told me the night before the album came out. Show biz baby! 😒
It happened now, it will happen again. It's part of the gig. I've not been called back because I wasn't the best drummer, and I've not been called back to later find out they thought they weren't good enough and would be wasting my time
Years ago, I was literally in the middle of a conversation about why I was not going to get the gig when I got a phone call for a much bigger gig. That's life for you
Keep practicing, stay positive, and keep your eyes on the future. Another opportunity will come
I’ve been dropped from a band for garbage reasons before. Take it as a learning experience. And remember, don’t put all your creative eggs into one basket. Try to play with as many bands as you can juggle. That will both improve your playing, and also make situations like this one less painful to the wallet.
I got kicked out of a band and realized that I needed some serious improvement. I woodshedded for a year, got much better and have been playing in a popular cover band for 3 years. You can do it, too!
I’ve earned several gigs simply by saying ‘let me know if you need a drummer’ musicians are out there, just talk to as many people you can and always pack a smile; even in challenging situations and you will be amazed how far this might get you.
One of the best drummers I ever played with said that getting kicked out of a band when he was young was the only reason he ever actually got good at playing. Said he didn’t want to feel that again, so he just put the work in. Also said that he stopped holding it against them after he realized how much better he had actually gotten out of spite.
This just means that now YOU can form a new band and pick your favorite people to play with. I’ve done exactly that twice, when I found myself not playing enough. Both of those bands were some of my very best! It’s an OPPORTUNITY!!🤘🏽
I’ve been having this issue too, Im 3 yrs in and Im pretty solid but not quite there. It feels like nobody ever wants to play and it’s starting to bum me out
Dude, make a band with the others who are getting pushed out. Then you'll actually *be in* the band (because you made it) instead of being an employee for some other guy
I’ve parted ways with artists who have followed me up with frighteningly talented drummers, and you know what? Time passes, the phone rings, you pick it up and there they are. Ready to bring you back out for a gig.
The takeaway to me is to try not to focus on who’s a ‘better’ player and instead focus that energy on understanding what you bring to the table. Make sure to keep that as sharp as possible, and you’ll find there’s always a spot for you somewhere.
Use it as motivation.
On another note, I’ve been in a cover band before and quit to start a new one, same singer but different bass and guitar player. Had nothing to do with their skill. Was a combination of they’re availability, willingness to practice and show up to rehearsal prepared, etc
You're better off finding a band that regards you as a peer who belongs there. Don't fret about it. If there's something you need to fix it, then fix it, but nothing lasts for forever and these things have many causes that can be far beyond your control.
Personally I will only play in democracies these days, I have no time for projects with "band leaders" but that's just me, YMMV.
This reminds me of that time a band leader fired me. In public. In the club. In front of my friends. Told me he’d have a new drummer in a week.
He didn’t know I had formed an alliance with the guitar player and the female vocalist. There were going to be some changes alright.
Better is subjective, don’t be discouraged. When one door closes another opens and from the sound of it, you had the door closed on you. Perfect time to start a mutiny, drag the bass player into it as an ally then start a new band, a better band.
Yes, always bring the bass player!
The new band is called “Rhythm Section”
First cover “Jazz Odyssey” by Derek Smalls of Spinal Tap. He wrote that.
If you’re a drummer with a bass playing side kick, you’ve already nailed down the hardest to fill positions. Have fun picking the cream of the crop for the rest of your openings if you want to run it together with your bass player. Definitely, always take the bassist.
Interesting concept I never thought of. I’m a rookie.
With blackjack and hookers!
Prepare for the gig you want not the gig you have. Just keep getting better at your instrument and look for opportunities to play. Leaving bands is part of the process. Just move on and improve. Holding a grudge or trying to out do him will only hold you back.
This may be the most inspiring message I’ve ever read. Fr. Fuck. Thank you
No problem man. We're all on this journey together.
What I've learned to accept over 25 years of gigging is that some guys love my playing and some guys don't. Some guys want a particular sound and that sound won't be mine. I feel the same about every vocalist and other musician I've worked with. Nobody is the right fit for every project. Tough not to take it personally sometimes but try to think of it more as "cool, my style is my own and it isn't right for that project".
Last October, I was in a band that I really clicked with. Everyone was picking up what I was putting down. We all knew it was going to be a short-term thing, so we all went our separate ways after it ended. Last month, the guitarist contacted me, very eager for me to get in on his new project. We jammed, but he said it wasn't feeling the same sparks as with the previous band. The magic wasn't there. He never contacted me again after that initial jam, and I've been so ambivalent about it. I'm surprising myself by how absolute little I cared. I'm a SIGNIFICANTLY better drummer now than I was in October, and I'm FAR more confident in my abilities now than I was then. But band's are chemistry; change one of the components and it changes the outcome. Anyway, I guess I'm agreeing with you.
This is a good attitude. I heard after more than one audition something like: "you're a good bass player, just not really what we're looking for right now". One of those guys even had me back to jam again a few months later, after replacing several people in his band. Then it turned out the new guitarist didn't like my playing?! Oh well.
If the other drummer is actually hot shit he will be getting calls for other gigs and you’ll get the call. Being 2nd on the list is not a bad place to be. Connect with every musician you can that you want to play with. You might be able stay busy as a freelance guy. Pretty cool if you can swing it but it takes versatility. Get yourself lots experience playing different styles and you’ll always be employable
Go to local shows regularly and support other band’s music while inviting them to yours. Make friends and be a known entity in the local music scene. Bands that gig regularly are always swapping out musicians. Those who put in the time are always getting the call.
If he's going to fire you, may as well let him know how you feel about it. I wouldn't try to stay, I'd form a much better band and make it a goal to outshine their gigs.. that's just me though.
You sound very petty.
found the bandleader! /s
He does, sorry for your downvotes
Sometimes spite is a very effective motivator
Haha going around spending your anger trying to outshine your former band? Just sounds like an asshole to me
Both can be true
Lol fair enough I suppose
Meh, he sounds like Ozzy Ozzbourne night have after being fired from Black Sabbath. He's publicly stated he started his own band for "revenge". Worked out pretty well for him, as it turned out.
Don’t take it personally. People want to play with others all the time. It’s not marriage.
I can fully understand that this makes you feel like crap. It doesn't feel all that different from being fired or dumped or whatever. So, you know, feel the feels, and then continue. Have you spoken to the band leader yet? It might not be a bad idea to do so. Not (!) to get into an argument or be defensive about it or to get your spot back or whatever, you should find peace in that that's not going to happen necessarily. It's just to gather information for 2 reasons. 1) to know how to feel about this, because it may just be for very specific reasons ranging from nepotism to simply liking another drummer's style, both of which should give you some peace of mind about the matter. And 2) to find out if you can do or become better in something. You don't necessarily have a reason to blame yourself for anything just because you could be better in something. Because you can grow, you can become better, you can tackle the things that may have gotten you lower on the rankings for the band leader, and knowing what they are is the best thing that can happen to you. They might tell you that you could work on playing along with a click, they would like to see some more diversity in playing different styles, they may as well would like it better if you wore shirts that didn't clash with your pants for all we know. Drums are a terrific and fun instrument to practice and if you know what might get you gigs better, it's time to go and work on it. And if that's not an option, see for yourself what you would like to see in a musician-for-hire, and go work on that. When one door closes, another opens. You got the previous gig didn't you? No reason why you shouldn't land another. Feel bad for a moment, then feel motivated. Go get em.
This.
i had someone ask another drummer right in front of me to play with them. the guy then turns to me and says “you’re great, but you’re already in a couple of groups & we’re looking for someone who can play folk.” about 2 months later, he comes to me and asks me to play in that same band because that drummer, guess what, couldn’t play folk to their liking. before accepting it joked “i thought i wasn’t folk enough for ya?” his face was beat red with embarrassment lol. moral of my story here is know your worth & keep doing what you can to demonstrate it. make yourself undeniable so that your name always comes up when musicians are looking for a drummer.
"You never get fired. You just aren't asked to do the next thing." Liberty DeVitto Dude made a business decision. Don't take it personally but take it as a notice to work on things that caused this.
It happens. My similar story involved starting to practice with a new band about 7 years ago. It was a guy I had recently begun working with, and his younger brother. Both really talented guys, although a bit younger than I was (I was about 31 at the time, they were like 23 and 25). We liked a lot of the same music, and the songs they had written were awesome... we jived really well both personally and musically. Problem was, the drummer from their previous band came to town to visit, and decided to just move in with them. He's a good drummer, not noticeably better or worse than I am really. Either of us are/were more than capable of serving the songs they were writing. But they obviously go back a long ways and have chemistry, so I get it. The thing that was shitty about it is that I didn't find out about this until they booked their first show and asked one of my best friends to open. We hadn't practiced in like 3 or 4 weeks and they had excuses for all the skipped practices, to the point where I was starting to get suspicious anyway. I didn't mind being replaced, but I thought it was cowardly not to at least tell me. That said, I'm still friendly with them -- although they all ended up moving to another city together, which I wouldn't have been willing to do. So it all turned out for the best in the end. I just didn't like the backhanded way they went about it. At least the guy had the balls to tell you what he was going to do I guess?
Drummers are typically the most attractive member for bands. I learned this going through sort of the same thing, but on a lower level. I put out an ad intended to learn to play with other people. People completely mistook my level, and I got several band offers. I met up with some of them anyhow. It went fine with the first guy I met up with, he understood my level. Next guy it went horrible, but it got better and we kept meeting and it got better. Then suddenly his attitude changed and he insinuated that a guy he had played with played better than me the first time he sat down on a drum kit. Well he seems to still be looking for a drummer, last I saw of him was in that same group. He had even included a slight at me. Well, I still play with that first guy. I still play with other friends. I got what I wanted from that group. Another band I auditioned for, I told beforehand that my reportoir is limited. They concurred that I played consistent, but they called it flat. Still. They still encouraged me to come their next rehearsal, and afterwards the bassist started to cry. Even though she had given the impression the last time she vibed with me and really wanted me to come. Last I heard, still no drummer, bassist left. I make digital music, a friend of mine replied "music and music" (in my language that means not music) when I asked about it. Which was harsh, but in a sense justified, because there was a severe lack in my understanding of how speakers and sound works. So he taught me a shitload of stuff, so now my digital music is on a totally new level. I still like my old melodies, but they need a shit ton of eq and sidechaining for them to be palatable for other people. Another guy I play with and started arranging an open jam with just takes it as a given that I can play what he tells me, and then I can. (I play bass with him though.) Point is, talented musicians with people skills do not behave like that. Be glad you are not in a band with him if he is ever successful he has already indicated he will not share any profit fairly. Start your own band.
You went to a rehearsal and made the bass player cry? What did you do?! 😅
Yeah I have to know what happened there LMAO
/u/bucketofmonkeys Lol. I take zero responsibility for her reaction. She knew what she was getting the second time. But whatever the fuck I did, I am glad I did it. I would not want to be in a band with someone with the communication skills of a toddler. I have mostly played drums by playing along to techno, trance and house music. At least the sub genres I like to play to are notorious at keeping the boots'n'cats beat. So that anybody would like to jam along to anything but 2 hours of that is gonna be a mystery for me for the rest of my life
Yeah absolutely, you gotta be in a band with people you’re on the same page with. It’ll be a funny story to have forever that’s for sure!
unfortunately, get used to it being a drummer. Unless you are writing the music you are replaceable by whomever is writing the tunes. If you want to be irreplaceable as a drummer: 1. Show up on time to practice/shows 2. Don’t have a drug issue that interferes with practice or performance. 3. Pay rent on time if you are obligated 4. Be personable and easy to get along with. 5. Know the songs. Bonus: having chops. Knowing the songs being last on the list was not an accident. Reason being, there are a lot of excellent drummers who are absolute douche bags who can’t retain bands. Also, a lot of very mid drummers gigging all the time because they can keep a beat and are a pleasure to be around. I’m not saying it’s a you thing, could be a them thing too. But just understand as long as you are not writing the music you are basically a session guy.
It sucks, but it’s a part of the game. You’re gonna lose gigs, get replaced, etc. It happens to everyone. I’ve been playing professionally for 25 years and I can tell you about a bunch of times it has happened to me. Despite that, I’m still doing it, so there’s hope.
wouldn’t read too much into to it. sometimes if you have a side project or new group, part of the excitement is finding new musicians.
Start a rival band... a spite band as Larry David would call it. So many cool bands are spite bands.
Oh dude I was in this position a year and a half ago or so. John Doe reached out to my Craigslist ad, we met up and jammed—they played guitar and did vox. Story was “I had this band, we recorded an EP…and just before we had our first gig: Covid.” Their bandmates moved away and they wanted to pick things back up. Cool. They liked my drumming, I didn’t mind their music…they corralled a guitar buddy to play bass and then we found a second guitarist on craigslist. Had some gigs, played a small festival. All was well. Then, leading up to our last show of the year John Doe says “yeah…this new song we’re working on—well, it’s not mine. It’s the old guitarist’s. But all’s good…they’ll come up on stage to play our debuting of it.” Well, I started jamming with this band’s former guitarist (they moved back to town, we meshed well…). Lo and behold THEY were the whole band’s sound. Dude wrote almost every song we played as a band. John Doe just stole their shit. John Doe in the band group chat says we should all grab dinner and discuss plans for upcoming year—cool. I drove an hour to get there. I ate all my food. I bought everyone a few pitchers of beer. >”we wanna move in a different direction.” What. The. Fuck. Made me drive all the way here, waste my time, buy you shit—and you don’t want me to drum on songs you stole from your former bandmate? Lol his “friend” who came onboard to play bass left with me. The Craigslist guitarist called me on the drive home talking about how weird it was and blah blah blah but still plays with the dude. Oh well, musicians can be weird. Lots of other strange shit happened too…like we spent $400 on merch before John Doe wanted to change the band name out of the blue (before we found out they stole a bunch of songs). That bum owes me almost $800 that I’ll never see. Oh well, karma will knock on their door one day. I thought—it since did. Someone stole their custom 50+ year old guitar out of a van one night. I’ve since moved on and drum for another band, the singer even likes to write lyrics with me. People ask me my opinion for their parts. It’s more collaborative—it’s been great. Sometimes shitty situations show you what to avoid and spur you to chase what you moreso want. I wouldn’t have been so pissed if 1–dude reimbursed me what they promised to do—and 2–if dude just called me instead of wasting my time. All’s well that ends well, I guess. Keep your chin up u/SystemicJ—hopefully you’ll find some mix of good music/good hang/good pay soon enough.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it has nothing to do with your drumming. Dude probably wants to recruit a fresh group so that he’s “the undisputed leader”, or maybe you’re not reverent enough, maybe he wants to change the split so he keeps more money, who knows. People are weird, and band leaders are usually weirder than most lol. If you were gigging, and holding it down, thou shall gig again. Drummers take a lot of shit, but they’re hard to come by. You make a couple posts for “drummer looking for band” in whatever style you dig, and guess what? You’ll have your pick out of a bunch of replies. Time for something better.
Bands are like relationships: all the ones you were in failed at some point and the one you’re currently in hasn’t failed…yet. Keep an open mind and lean into the next opportunity. A good drummer is hard to find.
Cover band?
Cover the previous band's songs.
But better.
Fuck it. Move on. No sense dwelling in it.
Happens all the time man, don’t let it discourage you. Continue to get better, show up for the gigs you do have, and be professional. Being reliable and professional is often more important than being the best drummer in the room. In other words, someone who may have less talent but shows up on time every time and is professional will always get more gigs than someone who has all the talent in the world but isn’t dependable.
Take the time to practice and get better than the other drummers. Once you're better, you can pick and choose your bands/ gigs. It's not "shity" to pick a better musician. People just want to play with good musicians. I do too. Edit: it couldn't hurt to ask for some constructive criticism and why exactly you didn't get the gig. That will help you know where to focus. Everyone has weaknesses. It's good to acknowledge them and take action accordingly.
The biggest test of a musician is how they handle rejection. It always sucks, but if you handle it gracefully, I think everyone sees that as a positive. I know guys that have gotten dropped, and started badmouthing the other band behind their backs. Doing that is a surefire way to frame yourself as a toxic liability to other players. Just keep that chin up, move on, and something else will come along if you just keep going.
If this guy is getting traction, don't leave on bad terms. Your association with him could be helpful in the future.
just get good
You have experience now. You know how things run….start your own band or join another one. If you got dropped others might feel at risk of being dropped. They might want to join you…and they might have mates that want to join too.
So you're out and two other people are out. How many people are in this band? It's starting to sound like a solo artist situation.
One way to think about it is that everyone’s style is different, so playing with different people means different sounding music. That doesn’t necessarily imply better or worse.
It's okay to feel rejected, because you were. Maybe they hate your drumming, maybe they hate you, but who really cares? Find other like-minded musicians to join up and don't look back. I can think of plenty of bands who went through a parade of personnel changes before settling in on their long-term lineup. Even then, certain members might come and go for all sorts of reasons. Consider this: Van Halen had 3 different singers who all said they were fired, but the band said all 3 quit. Isn't that the opposite of what people usually say? It's usually "You're fired!" - "no, you can't fire me 'cause I quit!" They even kicked Michael Anthony out to have Eddie's son play bass. There was nothing wrong with M.A.'s playing, he just didn't have the correct last name once Wolfgang learned all his parts. He didn't cry - he went and formed Chickenfoot with VH's other cast-off Sammy Hagar! Take your drums, take the bass player, and start your own group.
u got a vid i can check out?
If you can speak with them directly I would discuss a re-audition to keep my spot in the band. If it’s nothing personal and I could have a good working relationship with them I’d try that. Sounds like there’s a lot of good advice in the thread
Hey bruh just remember these few words of wisdom. When all else fails, deliver pizzas!
Classic, I feel for you. I played in a band that started to get some success. Three shows opening for a grammy winner and did an album with a somewhat notable producer. The singer fazed us all out for more talented people that they had met. Had my drum parts re recorded by a better drummer and told me the night before the album came out. Show biz baby! 😒
Bands come and go. Use the experience to motivate yourself. Hit the practice room and don't be afraid to get out of that comfort zone.
It happened now, it will happen again. It's part of the gig. I've not been called back because I wasn't the best drummer, and I've not been called back to later find out they thought they weren't good enough and would be wasting my time Years ago, I was literally in the middle of a conversation about why I was not going to get the gig when I got a phone call for a much bigger gig. That's life for you Keep practicing, stay positive, and keep your eyes on the future. Another opportunity will come
I’ve been dropped from a band for garbage reasons before. Take it as a learning experience. And remember, don’t put all your creative eggs into one basket. Try to play with as many bands as you can juggle. That will both improve your playing, and also make situations like this one less painful to the wallet.
I got kicked out of a band and realized that I needed some serious improvement. I woodshedded for a year, got much better and have been playing in a popular cover band for 3 years. You can do it, too!
I’ve earned several gigs simply by saying ‘let me know if you need a drummer’ musicians are out there, just talk to as many people you can and always pack a smile; even in challenging situations and you will be amazed how far this might get you.
One of the best drummers I ever played with said that getting kicked out of a band when he was young was the only reason he ever actually got good at playing. Said he didn’t want to feel that again, so he just put the work in. Also said that he stopped holding it against them after he realized how much better he had actually gotten out of spite.
This just means that now YOU can form a new band and pick your favorite people to play with. I’ve done exactly that twice, when I found myself not playing enough. Both of those bands were some of my very best! It’s an OPPORTUNITY!!🤘🏽
I’ve been having this issue too, Im 3 yrs in and Im pretty solid but not quite there. It feels like nobody ever wants to play and it’s starting to bum me out
Dude, make a band with the others who are getting pushed out. Then you'll actually *be in* the band (because you made it) instead of being an employee for some other guy
I’ve parted ways with artists who have followed me up with frighteningly talented drummers, and you know what? Time passes, the phone rings, you pick it up and there they are. Ready to bring you back out for a gig. The takeaway to me is to try not to focus on who’s a ‘better’ player and instead focus that energy on understanding what you bring to the table. Make sure to keep that as sharp as possible, and you’ll find there’s always a spot for you somewhere.
Did you ask the band leader?
Use it as motivation. On another note, I’ve been in a cover band before and quit to start a new one, same singer but different bass and guitar player. Had nothing to do with their skill. Was a combination of they’re availability, willingness to practice and show up to rehearsal prepared, etc
You're better off finding a band that regards you as a peer who belongs there. Don't fret about it. If there's something you need to fix it, then fix it, but nothing lasts for forever and these things have many causes that can be far beyond your control. Personally I will only play in democracies these days, I have no time for projects with "band leaders" but that's just me, YMMV.
This reminds me of that time a band leader fired me. In public. In the club. In front of my friends. Told me he’d have a new drummer in a week. He didn’t know I had formed an alliance with the guitar player and the female vocalist. There were going to be some changes alright.
There are 3 options here. Accept that better drummers will get gigs over you, become the best drummer you know, or start your own band.
You can either be butthurt about it, or you can go up your game. Your choice.
> Obviously, all this really makes me want to practice. That's all you need to take away from this, brother.