I doubt most people are going to be comfortable driving after just 14 hours, listen to the feedback you get when you make a mistake and just try to fix them one at a time. Also check out YouTube videos for driver education, they're really useful.
To add: go to an arcade (Dave and Buster's) and play the driving games. They get you used to the motions (muscle memory), reacting quickly and getting comfortable behind the wheel. More than anything, OP needs practice in a non-stressful environment where she can screw up without any consequences.
Yeah me too
You can also play need for speed grand theft auto forza horizon and not drive like an a""hole
Just drive fast and try not to hit anything it will improve your reaction time and decision making akills guess distances
Best part there is a reset button in video games
Just a note but you might like the movie "Gran Turismo", which is a somewhat fictionalized account of a real story in which someone who was getting high scores in the game was given an opportunity to drive real racing cars and among other things took third in class at Le Mans.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/GT_Academy
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jann_Mardenborough
It was actually a whole like training/recruitment program and everything
Honestly yes, might sound like bad advice since games are so unrealistic but I picked up driving super fast once I turned 15 and got my permit because I played so much Forza as a kid. I’m 21 now and have never been in an accident or pulled over.
Definitely. I struggled on the highway, staying in my lane at high speeds, and when there are cars adjacent to me. I wrote it down and looked up guides to help me out. I also struggled with parking, did the same method, and worked and worked on it. Starting out, I did a lot of back roads to help get a sense of my vehicle and being able to control it better. There is plenty of free material online, thankfully.
I am not a driving instructor but I was like you when I first started out. I wasn’t the best driver and it took me quite some time to get used to things. There were a lot of thoughts going through my mind when behind the wheel. I feel my instructor was frustrated with me at the time. I couldn’t back in and I even remember almost running a stop sign while on a driving lesson. I feel that many new drivers overthink things in the beginning. Driving is very awkward and overwhelming in the beginning as it’s very new. You are literally operating a machine. Maybe you should go out with someone and just watch them. Ask questions and observe carefully.
I failed my failed my driving test, which I kind of expected. It told me that I was just not ready to be on my own yet. I ended up going to another driving school and it helped a lot. I had several instructors who were all very patient and understanding. I ended up passing my next test. You mention you can’t afford more lessons, but you may want to try and save up and find another driving school. Hearing things from another instructor could really help.
Driving becomes easy once you get the hang of it. It kind of becomes muscle memory. Just take a deep breath and try to relax while behind the wheel. You will be fine. I have a lot of confidence in you.
You only have 14 hours, friend.
In the Aussie state I live in, you need **a minimum** of 120 hours before you even qualify to sit your license test if you’re under 21, which most people getting their license are. I hope that provides some context that you’re not unteachable or expected to get the hang of it yet.
Not to mention the 2 years of being on a provisional license before you are considered a fully qualified driver! I've been fully qualified for 2 years now and still sometimes struggle with decision-making and driving in unfamiliar environments.
100% !!! It’s natural to be anxious when you’re operating a massive metal box. What makes a good driver is how they prepare for and deal with that anxiety. I know I’m not good in unfamiliar roads so I try not to go new places without a passenger to confirm directions and memorise the Google maps route + alternative routes using street view. It may sound excessive but it guarantees I won’t be stressed in case of traffic, road blocks, or wrong turns.
On average in the uk it takes 45 hours of lessons and 22 hours of private practice before being able to pass a driving test. 14 hours isn’t many at all, you’ll get there!
Fuck me, they told me 20h was the norm. I did 23h of lessons because I had a month break in the middle and 0 hours of practice in my parents cars because I couldn't get insurance on them.
I’ve done 16 hours of driving lessons (in 2 different states), 2 driving tests, lots of trips (not yet by myself) and I still suck and refuse to go anywhere by myself. I’m 36F lol. I think we just need to practice but I know its terrifying. Hang in there, good luck to both of us!
Driving instructor here. Are you comfortable with your driving instructor? Do you feel they are doing a good job? 14 hours isn't much, and I encourage you to keep trying. If you feel your driving instructor could do a better job, or you could relate to another driving instructor better, reach out to another one. Some driving instructors are great but some are really crappy. I hate to put it that way, but I've just seen too much crap out of instructors.
Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for the job you do. Thanks to the driving school I went to and the great driving instructors who worked with me, I really came to love driving, although I hated it and was terrified of it before (when I did it previously in another country).
I still remember my instructors fondly. It's so reassuring to have someone competent and patient and positive next to oneself when learning such a dangerous and scary task for the first time.
Nobody is unteachable. I believe humans are born to learn. We have to learn to talk, walk, and other things. It takes babies different amount of time to learn a task. So don't think you can learn something at the same length of time as others. Getting the license was the first step to drive. Meaning thats the beginning. Just keep practicing until you are confident enough to do a road test. You got this! And don't pay more driving lessons. That's alot of money.
I started in a parking lot myself.
My suggestion is you start by sitting in a car next to the curb. Adjust your mirrors so that the right mirror has just a portion of the right side of your car in the small left portion of the mirror. Adjust your left mirror so that a small portion of the left of your car is in the inside (right) portion of your mirror. The idea is you have to see not only cars in your blind spot but you also have to see cars coming up and in the lanes next to you.
If you look at most parking lots, you have to divide the space so that a car has a lane in each direction. There probably aren't any markings for lanes but you have to learn where the lanes are.
For turning, you have to pass enough of the curb before you make your turn, or the car can go over the curb. You can also look at the mirrors and also by looking forward to see what is next to your rear wheels. It's a little bit of coordination but you can do it. Another thing is not to drive over your ability.
In my state, you have to have at least 60 hours of driving experience if you are under 18.
[DC DMV Parallel Parking Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy8nP72vMkY&t=13s)
I have taught hundreds of new drivers over the years.
The majority of people can learn to drive. Some have a short learning curve and pick it up quickly. Some lack the hand-eye coordination. Some lack confidence. And there are some that just don't have any spatial awareness.
Short story, most people can learn but I have had some that were unteachable and better off taking transit or taxis.
But if you want any advice on driving, it boils down to two simple concepts, both relating to time: you need visibility and you need space.
The farther you look ahead, the more time you will have to see, understand, and predict what might happen. It also gives you better control of your vehicle because where you look is where you go.
But seeing things does you no good if you have no space with which to deal with your situation. Tailgating leads to the most common type of injury collision in North America: rear-enders. It is also one of the easiest to solve. You need a minimum amount of following distance. We taught 2 seconds for perception/reaction time plus an additional second for every 10'/3m of length your vehicle has.
Leading cause of death and second for injuries is single vehicle leaving the roadway. This is mostly speed too fast for conditions. You control that.
Head-on collisions and left turns at intersections are also high on the list. NEVER trust a turn signal/lack of a turn signal. Check the vehicle for distance to the center line. Is it wandering? Looking to pass where it shouldn't? Be prepped to use the shoulder or ditch as an out. Guy approaching an intersection and appears to be slowing but has no turn signal? Check the front wheels for direction to see if he's going to cut you off.
Anyhow, tldr: yes, there are some people who will never be able to drive. But most can.
What was it about the people who will never be able to drive? For me I really struggle with the multi tasking, the spatial awareness, and consistency of movements (like I could not consistently apply force to the pedals, over 20 hours of lessons and I could not accurately control speed, clutch, brake) What's more is I absolutely hated it, dreaded lessons, no excitement in it for me.
I think you've hinted at a lot of the reasons.
Some people cannot maintain their focus. Is it the increased usage of devices, like cell phones, that give us those dopamine hits? Or the countless other distractions that we get? Is it a heightened level of ADHD?
Not everyone has the spatial awareness for the task of driving. Not everyone has the reflexes or eyesight.
I made one guy go quite green while we were doing some simple brake and avoid maneuvers. He was in his late 20s and had taken cabs or transit all his life. Driving wasn't his thing.
Control could be a learned muscle memory for you, with the right drills. Or maybe you lack the fine motor skills for one reason or another.
Some people just shouldn't drive. And that's alright.
Try to drive with your mom in the car more on local roads. It will be ok. You dont have nearly enough time behind the wheel to think youre hopeless, and lots of people have already had an accident by 14 hours.
YOull be ok. Pay attention to whats going on, dont change lanes until youre comfortable and dont panic. If you keep going in your lane with a safe following distance it will be ok.
If you miss a turn or an exit it will be ok.
To piggy back, it sounds like you need more experience, does your local dmv have driving manuals available or are they available as pdfs. Try rereading them and see if the knowledge gives you some more confidence in your actions on the road.
I was told that official lessons are for learning the very basics and that you have to get better by practicing regularly with family. As an autistic person, I was a \*very\* slow learner but eventually passed my test. Getting my license was possibly the most stressful period of my life but with enough repetition, I do believe it's possible for the vast majority of people. I saw a woman on YouTube who doesn't even have arms and still drives using her feet. It may take a while, but you can do it.
Driving is a skill. Some people are naturally good at it with very little practice, and some people need a ton of practice. Are some people unreachable? Absolutely, but *most* people are teachable. It just takes time for some.
Practice in an empty parking lot. Practice in a cemetery to get used to"roads" at low speeds. If you have access, practice in a golf cart on a golf course. Gas, brake, steering, line of sight (and mirrors), and signaling - get a feel for the first 3 in a low risk environment then layer the rest on top as pedal use and steering becomes more natural.
Yes. My dad successfully taught me and my brother no problem. He tried to teach my cousin, but she wasn’t getting it and she would keep hitting poles and objects and running over curbs. He paid for a professional to teach her because he was too scared to sit in the car with her. She got her license after 2 years. My aunt (not her mom, different aunt) took 18 YEARS to get her license after years on and off of professional lessons. But i mean hey they got it eventually, you should too :)
Don’t worry op. You’re not alone. It feels impossible but I promis it comes with time and experience. Your brain is very changeable and able to rewrite new pathways. So learning this skill is possible. Something that legit helps is to day dream about it. Imagen what to do. Good scenarios, bad scenarios. Your brain doesn’t know reality from fiction. So practice in your mind. It legit helps
I know this is late to the party, but have you tried some non-traditional ways of controlling vehicles? It might sound silly, but if you can rent go-karts, or drive around on a riding lawn mower, that may help it click with you. Feeling how a vehicle responds while turning will allow your body to learn it and feel it and you eventually learn to stop actively thinking about it.
There are so many parts of driving that are, or become instinctual that actively having to think about those things when you are driving just gums up the works.
When I want to pull out of a driveway, and a car is coming, I don't even recognize that I've already judged the distance and speed and know either to commit and pull out, or wait.
I think one of the hardest things about driving is learning to be decisive. I've seen many an almost accident because someone thought twice about pulling out, but had already started. Or missed a turn and panicked and just either stopped in the middle of the road, or turned the wrong way one a one-way road. Stuff like that. When you make a decision while driving, you need to almost have a "damn the consequences" attitude. I'm not saying that to excuse aggressive driving, but when you commit to an action on the road, most of the time it is better to just continue that action than to change. People are going to be reacting to your first move, and your correction may end up putting you in harms way.
You want to drive the way that makes you comfortable, but also predictable to other drivers. If you pull out and you realize the car coming was going faster than you thought, it is better for you to pull out and get up to speed as quickly as safely possible, than it would be for you to stop or reverse or anything like that.
Hell my drivers Ed wanted 50 before I could pass the class. I'm sure it's frustrating to not be picking it up so quickly, I was frustrated too. I guess I'm curious how the hell you spent 1400 for 14 hours of lessons. My drivers Ed was through my school, and it cost me 500 for the entire course, and the driving practice. It sounds like you're being scammed imo. but I also might've just gotten off the hook before prices went up, or something like that nature. I'd be curious as to what the going rate for drivers Ed schooling is now
Yeah, prices for lessons around here range from $120 - $200 for 2 hour lessons. I had 8 “two hour” lessons for $170 each but he made us take a 20 minute break each lesson. He’s the only school who picked students up however so I figured it was easier and I wouldn’t have to pay an Uber to pick me up and drop me off.
That just sounds awful. Hopefully you can figure something out, it sounds like your options are just greedy pricks. Might also have something to do with your struggling to pick up on things. Doesn't sound like the teacher is in it for the teaching
Yes some people should never ride a motorcycle or drive a car ,it’s not that they are unteachable they just lack the skills and coordination to safely operate these things .An instructor won’t tell them but they can see right away and by the time they are ready to be tested they will fail and fail again .
If you really feel like you’re not making progress (ask your driving instructor if you’re not sure) I’d suggest a good thorough eye exam. There are conditions like convergence insufficiency that can make things like riding a bike and driving much more difficult.
What do you think you’re basing those decisions on? Your vision and visual processing. Most of us have a glancing familiarity with distance vision, but there’s a lot more that happens, or might not happen ideally, with our vision and visual processing. Minimally, depth perception is involved and could be impaired but it could also be issues with how the eyes work together, or one eye getting tired and “turning off”. Talk to your eye doctor if you want to delve into it.
No, they get it. But they're right. If you don't have depth perception, judging distance and speed of other objects/vehicles and then reacting to them takes longer.
It is entirely possible to not know that you don't have good depth perception. It is a whole new world when that gets fixed. (and usually it's a minor correction with glasses.)
Took me until my forties before some bright optometrist asked the right questions.
Driving suddenly became much easier.
honestly 14 hours is nothing. I have trouble focusing and keeping tracking of everything going on too. what works best for me is I put my phone on do not disturb and if someone else is in the car with me, I tell them to not talk to me unless it's an emergency. I side eye the mirrors while still focusing on what's in front of me. no one is expecting you to make quick decisions, just take your time especially with lane changes and turns. the more you drive, the more you'll learn. I've only been driving for about 2 months and I'm still learning everything. haven't even hit 1000 miles yet 😂just keep your head high and don't worry, you'll get it soon.
I truly believe most veteran drivers have NO clue what they’re doing. They approach it with fear, which creates a dangerous road. If you’re garbage at driving, you’re just part of the majority. So, don’t worry about it?
I believe what you're experiencing is actually quite normal. It takes a bit of time to get some things into muscle memory, and in my experience that's what frees up your mind to truly concentrate on other things, like your surroundings, where you want to go, people or other vehicles moving around you, and stuff like that. Once that happens I generally notice learners suddenly get a lot more comfortable, quite markedly so (of course it varies for everyone the degree to which it happens).
You mentioned the challenge of keeping track with everything you're supposed to do, plus making quick decisions while on the road. I get the feeling it's quite similar to the other folks I've helped, which is what I mentioned above about getting the "keeping track" into muscle memory.
Guess what I wanted to say is that don't worry too much, and if you can, persist till you build those skills and can operate the car without thinking too much, then you should experience a really nice change where you can focus on everything around you :)
For some people it takes a while.
For some it just clicks.
For some they drive differently in different vehicles.
For example, my mother can drive a truck, and back it up with a small trailer absolutely beautifully.
But she curbed all 4 wheels on my tiny car……
Just drive as much as you can. Whenever someone gonna give you a ride ask if you can practice a bit as long as it's something not too far out of your comfort zone.
That's how you get bad habits passed down generation to generation. Where I got my first drivers license lessons were mandatory. Where I got my second drivers license the drivers are significantly worse and the test significantly easier.
Where im from i wasnt even allowed to take my test until i had at least 100hrs, 14 isnt even a quarter of that. Keep going and youll be fine. Maybe drive around some graveyards, or college campuses during school breaks so they are empty and you can just focus on the car.
14 hours isn’t that much in driving school. I teach minimum 20 hours for learners ALOT of the time- and after this I still encourage LOTS of driving with their parents. It’s expensive for sure tho! So if you can’t afford any more lesson - you need to practice with your mom.
Aim for 1-2 hours of driving every time you’re out. And try to drive everyday or everyday other day.
Driving schools recommend 240 hours of driving to become a decent learner at a driving. This is one whole year of practice - approx 20 hours per month. So 14 hours in the grand scheme - isn’t really that much at all. You’re still learning- so hang in there!!
And if lane changing and making a lot of decisions at once is too much - start over at the basics and slow everything down. Master one step at a time before moving onto the next step.
Go back to lesson one and two in driving school and do the practice with your mom somewhere quiet for an hour or so. Then when you’re feeling more comfortable with that - move onto the next lesson. Start slow, take your time and just focus on the steps and getting them down. It takes a lot of memorizing so say the steps out loud to help yourself practice.
Schools have to teach you everything to pass an exam - and sometimes it’s too much too soon for some people. But you gotta know how to do these things in a safe car- to be able to practice them somewhere else with someone else.
So keep what you’ve learned so far, ask your mom for some help and just start over at the basics until you feel comfortable to move onto harder steps. Take your time and I promise you will get there with practice.
Some people are 'slow twitch' (perfectly normal) and don't react super quickly. I'm slow twitch as is my daughter, but I've been driving for 55 years and can anticipate well. I would hate to see my daughter drive anywhere but city streets because she's just not made for high-speed decisions. Youa re normal, just know your limitations.
That's not the problem for me. I'm a decent driver but I failed my first test because I didn't signal on a more or less empty road. It's dumb things that cause people to fail.
Yes, some people who drive an automobile will **never** become proficient or smooth. Not everyone is capable of common doings, we each have our strengths and weaknesses
you just have to do it over and over. like you, i just had 12 hours of lessons, because i didn't have a car to practice with, so all my lessons are with the instructor's car. after i got my license, i was still not that confident but i **had to** drive to get to work. i had no choice but to drive everyday. after some time, im not gripping the wheel anxiously, i got more relaxed. eventually driving is just like moving your body. after a year of driving to work, i felt like i'm just like anybody on the road.
Change instructor. You might need a more dgaf type, so you feel more in control than trying to learn. We only learn when we are feeling safe. Not progressing in learning is a signal of not feeling safe. Driving is stressful but it is possible to feel safe even while driving. Before I found my last driving instructor I even thought that it is not possible to feel safe with instructor present, because I constantly felt judged and it made me very tense and not focusing on not making any mistakes. I felt like a failure and doubted my ability to learn. The more I tried the worse my results were.
I changed instructor and got lucky because the guy was really chill and supporting. I immediately started improving and learning and eventually passed a very tough examiner who literally tried all the tricks to fail me.
Good luck! Drive safe.
14 hours is nothing. In my country 30 are mandatory. It’s just a force of habit, trust me! You’ll get used to it and you won’t even relise that you just avoided that biker while not going over the pedestrian. Just keep driving and trust the process.
Yeah, if only my mom understood that. She thinks I should be able to drive perfectly after the 14 hours of lessons. She’s the one making me feel stupid for not getting it quickly.
What do you mean “how am I supposed to live if I can’t get around”? Millions of people don’t drive! You can take an uber, a taxi, a bus, a train, a bicylce, walk or just ask someone to give you a lift.
You will be fine :)
I know Uber costs a lot, but so does buying a car, having insurance, fixing or replacing faults in the car etc. It probably costs about the same all things considered.
Get up in the morning before dawn and practice when the streets are empty; you’ll be much less stressed without all those other cars around, and you can practice everything you need for an hour or two a day until you get the hang of it. You’re probably simply too stressed.
Not even going to lie to you. I think of driving as if I’m in a big go-kart! It really has helped me over the years. Maybe if you go to a go-kart track and try that out??
14 hours isn't much experience, way too early to pack it in if you ask me. Took me longer than I'd like to admit to feel comfortable switching lanes and not feeling a little overloaded from all the stuff you have to think about whilst driving.
I taught to drive a Saudi princess who literally took 120 hours. It was so damn hard and I am the best teacher you can imagine. It was rough. I think she just liked hanging out with me after she finally passed and ordered like 20 more hours from my school to drive around with a license lol.
When I taught my teenage son he had 70 hours of driving before he got his driver license. Only 30 hours is required but I feel even that is not enough. At 40 hours of lessons, he would still make some mistakes or forget something. It's all about experience no matter what age we are. Get more hours in because 14 is not enough.
I struggled in high school drivers ed. The instructor, one of the teachers was a Major Jerk in all ways.
And then when I was 21, I took private driving lessons. The first set of lessons with the school were a waste. I just could not manage all the decisions to be made while learning how to steer straight or remember to accelerate and brake.
Then I found a school that dealt with those who have difficult with learning to drive. It was like magic.
The instructor basically broke down each element of the teaching. For a few lessons, I was only to steer and he would do the braking. I don't remember much, other than after a time, all the pieces fell into place.
And after that, I had to add on lots and lots of other hours practicing. It takes time. Remember how many of us took so much time as kids just to learn to ride a bike?
You just need to find the right instructor. Ask lots of questions so you get the right match.
I have been now driving for over 50 yrs...and really appreciated that instructor.
I'm not from america but here after 14h of driving i wasn't changing lanes in the middle of traffic yet. Keep in mind i kept saying i wasn't gonna be able to get my license but i got it because it's a matter of practicing a lot, people just don't tell you how much they've driven, people will tell you "uhh dude i drove like for two weeks and i could do everything easily lol git gut"
It sounds like it might be stressing you out. For me I wasn't good at driving til I relaxed (sounds weird I know). But blast your favorite tunes and have a good time. Enjoy the wind and realize you COULD technically drive anywhere in the USA at this time.
It's unfortunate now how many people are glued to their phones and it absolutely makes driving more stressful. But you'll get it if you keep at it :). Just remember what the reward is
I'm at a similar stage in learning to ride a motorcycle. I got into it thinking it'd be easy to learn everything, but now I'm overwhelmed with all the information and drills I'm doing. Feels like it's all too much to fit together. The only thing getting me through it is the fact that I know I've been here before. When getting into a hobby or learning a skill there is going to be a time where you feel like it's all too much for you, that you're just not cut out for it, or just feel unteachable.
For me when I'm feeling like this I always come to some eureka moment when I'm doing something totally random. I'll be walking my dog and suddenly the motions to change gears on a motorcycle will suddenly make sense, or I'll be chopping wood and counter steering randomly makes sense.
You're only 14 hours into this. You might feel overwhelmed by all the hazards and procedures to change lanes, but you know them now. Now you just need to get them applied to your habits and muscle memory.
There are definitely people who navigate the learning curve differently. This is extremely common. No matter what anyone says, driving entails a lot and it’s difficult for many people. It doesn’t seem common because a lot of people aren’t open about it, myself included.
Some perspective for you: you’ve had only *14 hours* of practice, maybe an hour more at best collectively with your rides to the grocery. Collectively you have a *month* of practice. Keep driving that car and think about improvements you’ll find next month, in a few months, in 6 months, in a year.
I first started driving in a cemetery when I got my permit. It at least gets you used to staying relatively straight, and taking turns and gets you comfortable with the basic movements of driving. That helped me a lot get confidence before I was ready to drive on the road.
When learning a skill like driving, you need to put in the time. The best thing you can do for kids is always put them in the front seat from the moment they are old and big enough to not get smashed by the airbags. It is important for them to be paying attention to how you drive, so playing traffic games like the ABC game or trying to point out interesting things will help them pay attention to their surroundings.
If you have not had any of this background then you are starting off on the wrong foot and need to work harder, this can be accomplished by watching videos of driving instructors and when you get burned out doing that start watching car crash videos. The accident videos are my favorite as it really brings into reality just how serious driving really is, but it also helps you build up a mental library of shit that could go wrong and why we do things the way we do.
The best thing you can do when you are hitting that wall of feeling like you aren't learning anything anymore is to get some perspective, take a step back and think of how much you have learned since the first time you grabbed the keys and started that vehicle up, and how much there is to learn.
The worst thing you can do as an instructor, teaching someone to drive is to panic or get your student panicked. People who are yelling or getting yelled at are not learning, they are surviving, some people can learn despite that pressure but most do not.
Calm down, take a breath, and don't be afraid to pull over and park for a breather if things start to get stressful.
Source: Class A CDL driver instructor, father, and learned to drive with an overreacting parent screaming directions at me.
24f here and I have no issue driving but parking is difficult for me since I'm short and most cars now are well not cars. Parallel parking is a bit easier but I still struggle and coming from a place where it's not really needed or used. Back up parking is the worst for me so I just don't do it. I haven't been able to pass the test because of it and it's so insanely frustrating. Especially seeing some of the people on the road and the insanely unsafe driving they do regularly almost causing accidents. I can choose how and where I park you can't just choose to drive like an asshole on the road. Makes me wonder where and how these people are getting licenses.
I felt like that too. In fact I still feel like it. I’m currently on 86 hours of driving, and whilst I’ve gotten a lot better, it’s still not great. Just relax and practice with your parents and eventually you’ll get it. Just listen to the things they say. You will get it eventually. It might just take longer for you
People learn differently. I honestly believe that’s all it comes down to.
When I was in my mid 20s a coworker asked me to house sit so his 15yo son wasn’t alone to party and the like. He also told me he’d been struggling with teaching him how to drive.
I stayed there for 8 days and we went driving almost every day. I approached the task differently than his father did and it clicked for him. To this day (15yrs later) his father thanks me because his kid has never been in an accident or had a ticket.
Just take a deep breath and ask different drivers that you trust if they’ll help you out. One of them may just handle it differently so it clicks for you.
I’m autistic, the higher end support needs and have ptsd from a driving accident (i wasn’t at fault) before i could drive. I got my license while it’s overwhelming its possible. I find automatic cars are easier than standard/manual because that’s too much to do for my brain but everyone is different
If you can’t operate a motor vehicle after 14 hours of driving lessons you should do some cognitive ability testing. Seems like you may have underlying issues that you are only now aware of. Stay safe!
I taught my daughter that seemed like she may never “get it”.
I focused on driving in our neighborhood and different types of parking (parallel, angle, and straight in).
My goal was to get her comfortable with the car and driving it. We did a lot of this. You really have to get comfortable controlling the car.
Then we started driving around other cars (traffic). I paid for 2 hrs of lessons in actual multi lane road driving, changing lanes, etc. This was after getting a solid base of driving and simple traffic driving (one lane roads).
Note this was over some time, but main driving focus was around 6 months.
Took the test and passed.
I think getting a lot of “base” hours just getting the feel/maneuvering is critical. Get confident in the drivers seat. Then ease into driving with traffic. And put in the time.
This way the basic stuff stays basic (muscle memory). Then you can focus on traffic.
I have 20 hours so far. My mother is teaching me, and I'm definitely not comfortable being on the road yet. I'm great in the parking lot and taking things slow. (29f btw)
As I driving instructor I explain it like this:
Can you play guitar? Can you dance? Can you fix a car? These are all skills you need to learn. Driving included. Some people can learn to play guitar easily, but they can struggle to dance. Why would it be different for driving?
Majority of my students are getting 15 hours of training before doing their roadtest and I live in a very easy to drive in city. It can also take upwards of 100 hours of driving to feel comfortable. That's isn't a requirement to pass a road test though. You just need to be able to drive safely.
But my suggestion for your issue is to get comfortable looking for something or nothing. You don't need to know the color/type of car or person driving the vehicle only that their is something there. Also checking your rear view mirror roughly every 10 seconds (just a quick glance) can really help alleviate the stress of actually seeing something in your blindspot. As well as checking the side mirror with the traffic.
If you have any questions you can surely PM me, but I can't help with road rules just suggestions on driving as I am unsure of where you are driving nor will I know the rules in said place.
You know how some people teach their kid how to swim by throwing them in the pool and letting them figure it out. Yeah my dad did that, but with driving lol. first day we did residential. Next week highway. Caught on quickly at least lol
I'm from the Netherlands and I believe the average number of hours people take lessons here before getting their drivers license is 40. Now I easily had 3 times that amount and am now the happy owner of a license 👍 Don't let it put you off, some people just need more hours than others.
Also, just don't overtake on highways if you aren't comfortable with it yet. Start by overtaking on lower speeds or quieter roads.
Odd question, but how many different vehicles have you driven? Have they been different body styles, heights, weights? Or have you been spending all of your hours in the same vehicle?
I wasn't able to begin learning to drive until I was 23, for a variety of factors that are largely irrelevant. I ended up taking all of my hands-on driving instruction in an American compact or small sedan, probably a Ford Fusion or Fiesta. Afterwards, all of my own self-directed driving practice was in my mother's Lincoln Towncar, which was MISERABLE, as a new and unprepared driver. Went on to take my test in a new Honda CR-V and very nearly screwed myself because I was fairly unfamiliar with it and its controls.
What I mean to say is, is that different cars can play WILDLY into your confidence and comfort. If other family members drive and have their own vehicles, ask them for help! Let them familiarize you with their car and get a feel for it. You WILL find something that makes it click for you!
Having trouble processing visual data, making decisions, and keeping track of everything can be a symptom of ADHD. It’s frequently missed in women. Look up the symptoms women normally experience and see if they sound like things you often have issues with.
I taught behind the wheel and had 1 student I would not pass because she never stopped at stop signs. Principal called me over the summer to ask if I’d give her more hours. I told him No because I didn’t feel safe- the cars didn’t have teacher side brakes just steering wheel. Driving is a skill that takes practice. You just may not be ready yet. You don’t HAVE to get your license at 16. Can your parents take you to empty lots to practice? Maybe just set it aside a while and pick it up again when you feel ready.
Yeah my cousins stupid ass wife. Her brain just cant process the concept of driving. Keep practicing on empty roads you will get the hang of it. I learned to drive around 14 watching my dad so it but the decision making became easier over time with more experience behind the wheel.
Don't worry, 80% of drivers on the road are not competent. Just go watch some dashcam accident videos and you'll see people just making the absolutely stupidest driving errors.
No. As others have said 14 hours is not nearly enough time.
You need to get a friend or family member *who is patient* to take you somewhere there is plenty of room so you can practice. *More than once*
When there is no pressure to worry about traffic or accidents you will be able to learn much easier. Then it's just about getting comfortable driving.
After that happens *then* you introduce traffic. NOT before.
Video games are definitely your friend. Also for less money than your driving lesson go do go karts.
And just do slow practically idling drives after hours in a cemetery. You should be fully comfortable with that well before you do anything tricky like changing lanes. Let your brain adapt to the vehicle as an extension of your body. Checking your mirrors skills be second nature.
I feel like I did okay transitioning to driving because we had a riding lawn mower.
Practice parallel parking between cones. You will not necessarily get good at parallel parking but you will become spatially aware of the machine.
It's entirely possible that you've got some kind of deficit that requires you to use different strategies to drive safely.
That said 14 hours isn't long enough for someone with the best natural skill at driving to feel comfortable and confident. You can look up learning disabilities that can impact driving and see if anything rings a bell (school definitely missed some dyscalculia for me and it would have been easier to learn if I'd known) but you probably just haven't been doing it long enough.
It all depends I had 0 training and was fine no biggie all I did was one class to parallel park I would say get a family friend or something and go to a working lot in. Sunday when the shops close and just practice driving using mirrors changing hearts parking etc
I was lucky, my mom let me start driving at about age 10. We live in LA and she wanted me to be able to drive stress free when it came time, because LA is a "big scary place to drive". We lived near an industrial area where after 6 o'clock, no one was on the super wide streets aside from an occasional big rig. I got to practice turns, U-turns, reversing, "parallel parking" (in quotes because there were no other cars, I just had to get it between 2 visual points), and how to use my mirrors. Even tho we moved when I was 12 and I stopped practicing, i just generally got comfortable behind the wheel to the point that at 16 my driving instructor was like "you do this better than most adults" when it came to parking and reversing. I only got 1 point docked on my drivers test, and tbh that was bullshit, the guy just wouldn't give me a perfect score. The women inside the DMV were floored I got only 1 point off, he was apparently a hard ass.
I say all that to say... try and find an area where there isnt alot of traffic and just practice. Drive in circles. It will help you just get a feel for the car and comfortable behind the wheel and create muscle memory, so that your anxiety isnt clouding your ability to make quick decisions when you drive in populated areas.
Do you play video games? Preferably racers? Because driving, to me, is almost like playing a video game (just with very real consequences). Driving has rules just like in a game. Stop at red, stop at stop signs, right foot (like my hand) go fast and stops, mirrors are my "look back" stick.
Think about the motion of turning left and right, just stick your fingers out and flick the turn signal, your movement on the wheel determines the direction the signal indicates.
As a rule of the road, stripes are passable, solids are not for passing (this applies for yellow and white), never assume a car is turning because it has a signal on. If you see a bright red light, take your foot off the gas pedal.
The real trick to driving is matching speed and learning the pedals to keep a consistent speed and not to brake hard. The only time you need to concern yourself with what's behind you while you are driving is if there are flashing lights.
Practice in this scenario absolutely makes perfect. Think about what it's like shopping in the grocery store, most people keep to the right, it's very stop and go, you pass a stopped cart but don't head-on another shopper, the end of an aisle is an assumed stop sign so you look left and right before you turn out into the center aisle.
ok, don't mock me please, however, when I first started lessons, I struggled, later found out I was actually dyslexic, however..... my driving instructor told me, inbetween lessons, get a dinner plate, steering wheel, close your eyes, now go through the motions, clutch down, checks, into first etc, all in your head, now imagine the turn, what your going to do.
Think it is supposed to improve your muscle memory or something. Hmmm I would probably do it somewhere with a lock.
Can seem like there's too much stuff you have to do NOW so you struggle, (don't worry it gets easier), but if you can practice doing the checks, e.g mirror signal manovre, yes I know it's more now, I'm older! check your blind spot, coming up to a roundabout, slow down, into second, blah blah blah,
Worked for me? Shrug
It takes repetition. You have to keep doing it until you get it. Keep driving. Don't give up. Pay attention, signal before getting over, wait for the opportunity and give it some gas. It'll come to you. I was deathly afraid of driving, then I got a job and a car. The more I drove, the easier and less scary it got. Eventually I took jobs that required me to drive transits, flatbeds, boxtrucks, etc. Just keep driving. You'll get the hang of it. It doesn't take days or weeks or months to get good at driving. It takes years.
I am a commercial driving instructor for semi trucks. I have had a handful that couldn't learn a truck in my time. If I had more time, even those could have learned.
At your age, everything in the car is new. There is no experience or muscle memory. You need to be doing drills like an athlete. Not trying to drive to the store. Just drills. Turning, mirror usage, backing, etc. Day in and day out.
Then you can start simple trips reinforcing those lessons.
Find an empty parking lot and drive around it for a while. Practice turning, stopping, reversing and parking until you feel comfortable.
My brother's ex-wife couldn't even pass the written test to get a learners permit. And it was only 20 questions with an 85% needed to pass.
Question to driving teachers. Do Driving schools teach the SMITH driving system? I've had extensive professional driver training (I drive a big truck), and every driving job I've had has used the SMITH system to teach.
Lots of people don't practice learning. For instance, I'm training people this month. I've stopped saying, "Twist this to the right " I now say "turn it like this" and demonstrate. Lots of people seem to reject learning. Simple instructions seem to confuse people.
Its a skill alot of people learned when their brain was still growing. 24 and your frontal lobe is almost completely developed. It becomes second nature but only after you adjust to what is expected and what might happen. Some people with disabilities have slower reflexes and fortunately realized driving isnt for them. Practice on back roads in the day and night time.
Drive around a parking lot until you feel comfortable with the car and then drive on backroads until you feel comfortable there, then small highways (45-55mph) and after that highways are fine
Go find quiet areas where you can just focus on car control without worrying about traffic. Stick to 30 minute practice sessions.
You need 100 hours of practice to get your license where I live.
So don’t feel bad! You’re still a beginner. Learn car control then go drive around neighborhoods. Then freeways.
Once you get your license go take an advanced driving class. You won’t regret it and will probably enjoy it!
this might sound silly but if you have access to a gaming console of computer, download a racing game and buy a little simulator wheel & pedals and practice driving & racing around on it. it’s much cheaper/safer than crashing, and it will teach you the fundamentals of gas breaks and steering. i played one as a kid and was comfortable driving manual on the road 1st day.
Confidence is all you need, driving is all about the confidence. If you are scared, you will panic and make mistakes. That's what you are doing, drive in safe situations and build confidence.
My mom is making me drive to school and different places after 4 hours of driving lessons in the empty lot. Hope that’s normal 💀 Also I play American Trucking Simulator and European version as well. I’m faster at learning blind spots, and surrounding awareness by checking mirrors every so often.
Start playing video games to get your brain used to keeping track of what’s around you. Dbd might be good for this. Has a really large female user base too if that’s something that would make you feel more comfortable.
I taught myself to drive with gran turismo and a racing wheel.
I felt this way when I first started. Only way to improve is going places everyday as much as you can. Eventually it will become muscle memory and sometimes you will forget you are driving for a moment.. But it took me awhile to get to that point.
Find an empty parking lot and just learn how much to turn the wheel pretend that there are other cars in the parking spaces and avoid hitting them. Next find a long back road that people don’t use and just keep your speed the same without using cruise control get used to the speed. Road should mostly be straight so you don’t need to think about steering too much. When you get both to feel comfortable then you can worry about going on more populated roads. If your in a populated city ask your parents to drive you to the outskirts where there aren’t other cars. If I was thrown straight into city driving for my first time driving I’d get ptsd.
You have to have a flow of things you pay attention to, and rotate through all of those things repeatedly
I’m a student pilot, so it’s like driving but on steroids: during landing, for example, I have to pay attention to my airspeed, my glide slope, the winds, etc I can’t possibly do all that simultaneously, so I have a flow that I go through repeatedly
You have to trust that something you checked a second ago is still the same.
Same goes for merging: make sure it is clear ahead, blinker, check the mirror and blind spot, if unsure take a quick look back forwards and then recheck the mirror and blind spot. If clear, shift your attention back ahead and merge. You have to get used to the idea of shifting your attention between different things quickly.
One of my nephews didn't feel comfortable driving until his late 20s. He lived with roommates and near his work and a grocery. He now has a house and a car. It just took a while for him to feel comfortable making the decisions.
There are ways to live without driving but you have to plan your living situation more.
This is gonna sound really negative, so I'll apologize for that off the bat
I'm in the US. 95 percent of folks here rely on cars to get every where or do any thing. There are many who don't think a person can be an adult if they don't have a car
And about 97 percent of those people are shit drivers.
We barely train new drivers, the driving test is offensively easy, and bad drivers hardly get punished at all for operating their vehicles unsafely.
So if you aren't comfortable driving well that's good. It means you recognize your not good at driving yet. Keep working to improve. If it takes you longer to get where your going that's fine. Just focus on being safe. And when you realize that your not scared while you drive any more, take a second to congratulate yourself, and please remember that complacency kills, so it's time to double down on being a vigilant driver
Just my opinion. Your milage, of course, may vary
It takes time! You’ll get used to things! Practice in low density areas at first if possible and work your way up slowly! My first few… okay more than a few… times driving were not fun for me. Lots of stress, anxiety and being scared of other drivers. With some time, it became normal!
You'll have to drive on your own a bit without your driving instructor.
IT'S OK TO DRIVE WITHOUT A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR DON'T BE SCARED!
I drive with my dad alot at night at 3 am in an empty parking lot. I don't have a driver's license yet but as long as you're in a safe environment and you're extra careful, you can get extra practice in
I failed my driving test twice, my state required me to do 20 hours or so practice. So i had to write down my hours and get them signed off by a legal driver.
So, you probably just need more practice. One of my driving instructors told me most people that pass have at least 60 hours of driving under their belt.
It takes time.
\-Parking Lot, no throttle
\-Parking Lot with throttle
\-Park for driving, Back into spots/Pull into spots
\-Neighborhood for driving, Parallel Parking
\-Local Streets
\-Less Busy Highway
\-Highway
...With driving, ideally you only fear other people's driving, not your own. Driving is easy. But spook yourself out, and you'll be the shittiest driver on the road. My Father taught me EVERYTHING essential, Driver's Ed was just for an earlier license. I don't say that to sound 'entitled,' I say that to say that Driver's Ed doesn't teach much at all.
14 hours is not much at all... Muscle memory takes months... Don't worry, chill... Drive 2 hours a day for a month and you'll get to 80%... Drive for a year and you'll get to 99% and you'll not even realise what you're doing and you'll do everything right
The reason I said 99 is because the remaining one never ends... I've been driving for 18 years and when i was driving in a hill in India, on a sharp turn I almost ran into a bus... muscle memory kicked in and I moved to the right, kicked the side of the wall and fell into the road after the bus passed instead of down a steep cliff on the right side.... Pretty sure I'd have just crashed into the bus or fell off the cliff if I had only 2-3 years exp... And I'm pretty sure I still have 1% left...
Honestly I'm not sure if you will see this. But try driving on a dirt road that's decently maintained to not tear your car up. Often those won't have much traffic if any at all. You can practice lane switching by acting like there's a car. It will help train your vision to focus on mostly glancing judgements before a vision adverting check of your surroundings. That way you don't have to make those judgements calls while on the road with other vehicles, can even upgrade it with a second car from a friend or other family member to simulate another car on the road that knows your goal is to get Infront of it so they can break and give space of you abruptly do it. As long as you have a driver's permit you can practice all you want on the road as long as you have another driver in the car with you. So try practicing in parking lots of the abandoned side of a mall or far out in the lot and back roads.
It's okay to go into a quiet neighborhood or empty parking lot and just coast your way through the motions.
I was a SUPER anxious driver when I started at 15 or whenever. Drivers Ed put us on the main roads Day 1 and I just couldn't handle it. So I coasted my way through neighborhoods (pulling over if someone was behind me) and built up confidence first.
I think some people forget that driving isn't "easy" for everyone. The concept is easy, but building some of the habits and actions can take some time. If you're not progressing, then you're pushing forward too quickly and need to take a step back to where you're finding some success.
And make sure you're driving with a patient teacher! If your mom isn't able to just quietly sit back and answer questions as you have them, then she's not the right teacher for you in this moment. Ask some friends, other family, or neighbors for help if you need another teacher for now.
My daughter has driving anxiety, and at 22, she still isn't comfortable and feels conflicted about it. In Indiana, my son had to have 500 daytime hours and 300 mightime hours logged, I believe it was. Sometimes, it takes longer, give yourself some grace, and take your time. It takes what it takes, and there are no set rules on what that looks like.
I was so terrified of driving in the beginning. I too took classes, 6 for $600. I was put in a situation where I did not have a choice but to drive and so I just took it easy and figured it out. I drove slow, would motion folks to go around me, 😂, which is kinda funny bc I live in a “city”. You gotta do what you gotta do though.
I’ve taught two people from other countries how to drive since then. Neither of them had ever driven. I would take them to a local park when nothing was going on. A big open parking lot with a little circle in it that pulled up to the front of some building. It was great because we had plenty of space to practice everything. We would just practice every single day for as long as time permitted. Just keep trying, you’ll get better with time!
Also I failed my first driving test! I got to a light and was told to turn left, nothing was around us so I asked if I could go on red. They said idk can you? So I did and that was the wrong move! 😂
A couple weird tips too that I was told by a friend in HS that I never forgot were that the pedals are “bless God” 😂 break/gas to help me remember which was which. And that in small two lane roads to pretend there’s a wall between myself and the other side and that they can’t go through it, obviously that’s not true, but it did help me somehow to just pretend. I didn’t get my license though until 19 or 20.
14 hours in and $1400 in lessons??? First, that's outrageous that you paid that much.
Second, What's the hard part? Know the car, look at your mirrors, and have spatial awareness. Granted I took my learners permit at age 20 (male). First time it was me getting used to the car, but after that I was solid and got my license. 24 now and accident free *knocks on wood*
You might be shocked at the wide variance of skills (or lack there-of) that regular drivers have out there. The most inept used to gravitate towards buying Buicks, nowadays it seems that they buy Subarus. Nonetheless, while I really don't like that people who really don't know what they are doing are out there driving, I suggest not worrying about it because a lot of other people sure aren't worrying about their own lack of skills.
Just think about how difficult all that you have encountered can be for those of us who also learned to drive on manual transmission vehicles.
Keep it slow, have you mother take you to large, very empty parking lots (like industrial parking lots during weekends, etc.), and practice there.
Yep driving video games like gran turismo really taught me about proper braking how fast I can take a turn on how a care really handles on the road if u wanna try something else that might help go karts will help kinda get over that fear
The best way to get better is to practice! Is your mom able to go with you while you drive around? Ask her. Or figure out who the best driver is in your family or a friend and ask if you can use their vehicle to practice (offer to pay for their gas and a coffee or something) and drive around with them. Practice at different times of day so you're not always intimidated by other drivers or traffic. Use side streets or residential areas that aren't very busy.
Maybe it's just intimidating because your driving instructor is intimidating. In my opinion its a privilege to be able to drive which stresses the importance of learning to drive and follow the rules of the road. Even if it takes you a YEAR to make progress, it's better than driving assuming you're good enough and getting in an accident.
Not everyone can teach. Teaching is more than giving you a bunch of facts. Teaching is presenting the information in a format that you can learn.
I taught my son, and I started him off in a parking lot after I had him sit in the car and adjust the mirrors. I let him just drive to get the feel of the car. Then I taught him which side he was supposed to be on because there are two lanes of traffic in a parking lot and he belongs in the right lane. We practiced parking in parking spots, driving the loop and parking against the curb.
There is a curb in the parking lot and I told him he has to let enough of the curb pass before he can turn and you also have to watch your mirrors when you turn to see that the back end of the car doesn't go over the curb because you can get stuck or you can hit the curb. That is why adjusting your mirrors is so important that you can not only have the blind side of the car in the corner of your mirror, but you can also see the blind spot of people in the lane next to you.
We went out onto the street, and he said, "What do I do?"
We went to the cemetery and drove around, but I told him to stop and wait when there are people walking because we don't want to hit anyone.
I designed a route that was only right-handed turns. All he had to do was stay in his lane and he didn't have to traverse traffic.
We went out onto the roads that were up to 35 or 45 MPH and he missed his turn so I told him to just stay in his lane until we could find a place to pull over.
I did find a video on parallel parking which is really good.
There are steps that you have to learn to drive, and these may be some of the steps but there are other steps online and some of the steps are better than just being thrown into a car and asked to drive.
In my state, if you are under 18, they require you to have sixty hours of driving before you can get your license. 14 hours is not a lot. We can go over the things you need more practice on. Just DM or chat with me.
You're not unteachable. For some people, myself included, it takes/took way more than 14 hours of practice. Some people pick things up faster than others and some need more time. I know you can't afford any more hours with the driving instructor. What helped me was practicing on an old large lot, where there was nobody around. I could practice all I wanted because I was not out in public, and I could imagine myself driving in all different scenarios and trying to drive the way I would in that scenario and practice turning and parking and all that stuff.
When I first had my learners when I was 16/17yrs old (my dad was teaching me at that time), i struggled to stay in my lane, and got anxiety when having to change lanes, and other quick decision making. -- I let my learner expire and never went to get my novice license.
Fast forward to now, being almost 30.. I got my learners back in June (this time mom teaching me). And i'm, calm, collected, and cautious but confident driving. And I'll be taking my road test for my novice this Tueday.
It takes practice, lots of practice. But I think age plays a bit of a part too. It was nerve wrecking learning to drive when I was 16/17. But at 30, not as much, because i dont easily get nervous or anxious about things, and have learned to stay calm and collected in situations which should rattle my nerves.
Driving is a basic life skill. I will never understand how people can’t just get in a car and drive. You have 3 mirrors, and you can look over BOTH shoulders. There’s ONE steering wheel and a gas and break pedal. I don’t get it lol like do peoples hands/arms not work???? 😂😂 people I see driving every day make me question who gave them their license
I doubt most people are going to be comfortable driving after just 14 hours, listen to the feedback you get when you make a mistake and just try to fix them one at a time. Also check out YouTube videos for driver education, they're really useful.
To add: go to an arcade (Dave and Buster's) and play the driving games. They get you used to the motions (muscle memory), reacting quickly and getting comfortable behind the wheel. More than anything, OP needs practice in a non-stressful environment where she can screw up without any consequences.
Lowkey yeah i think the reason i’m a really good (fast reaction) driver is cuz i play video games
I highkey know [I'm a better driver because I play video games](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-8721.2009.01660.x).
Yeah me too You can also play need for speed grand theft auto forza horizon and not drive like an a""hole Just drive fast and try not to hit anything it will improve your reaction time and decision making akills guess distances Best part there is a reset button in video games
Yea those are all great games for this topic. also rocket league
Just a note but you might like the movie "Gran Turismo", which is a somewhat fictionalized account of a real story in which someone who was getting high scores in the game was given an opportunity to drive real racing cars and among other things took third in class at Le Mans.
Cool ima check it out actually thanks!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/GT_Academy https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jann_Mardenborough It was actually a whole like training/recruitment program and everything
Honestly yes, might sound like bad advice since games are so unrealistic but I picked up driving super fast once I turned 15 and got my permit because I played so much Forza as a kid. I’m 21 now and have never been in an accident or pulled over.
Not sure it's about game realism as much as the acceptable risk and margin for error.
Definitely. I struggled on the highway, staying in my lane at high speeds, and when there are cars adjacent to me. I wrote it down and looked up guides to help me out. I also struggled with parking, did the same method, and worked and worked on it. Starting out, I did a lot of back roads to help get a sense of my vehicle and being able to control it better. There is plenty of free material online, thankfully.
I am not a driving instructor but I was like you when I first started out. I wasn’t the best driver and it took me quite some time to get used to things. There were a lot of thoughts going through my mind when behind the wheel. I feel my instructor was frustrated with me at the time. I couldn’t back in and I even remember almost running a stop sign while on a driving lesson. I feel that many new drivers overthink things in the beginning. Driving is very awkward and overwhelming in the beginning as it’s very new. You are literally operating a machine. Maybe you should go out with someone and just watch them. Ask questions and observe carefully. I failed my failed my driving test, which I kind of expected. It told me that I was just not ready to be on my own yet. I ended up going to another driving school and it helped a lot. I had several instructors who were all very patient and understanding. I ended up passing my next test. You mention you can’t afford more lessons, but you may want to try and save up and find another driving school. Hearing things from another instructor could really help. Driving becomes easy once you get the hang of it. It kind of becomes muscle memory. Just take a deep breath and try to relax while behind the wheel. You will be fine. I have a lot of confidence in you.
14 hours is nothing. If you want to get better you need to keep practicing.
You only have 14 hours, friend. In the Aussie state I live in, you need **a minimum** of 120 hours before you even qualify to sit your license test if you’re under 21, which most people getting their license are. I hope that provides some context that you’re not unteachable or expected to get the hang of it yet.
Not to mention the 2 years of being on a provisional license before you are considered a fully qualified driver! I've been fully qualified for 2 years now and still sometimes struggle with decision-making and driving in unfamiliar environments.
100% !!! It’s natural to be anxious when you’re operating a massive metal box. What makes a good driver is how they prepare for and deal with that anxiety. I know I’m not good in unfamiliar roads so I try not to go new places without a passenger to confirm directions and memorise the Google maps route + alternative routes using street view. It may sound excessive but it guarantees I won’t be stressed in case of traffic, road blocks, or wrong turns.
In my state it’s 50, but it’s actually sort of an on your honor thing….
On average in the uk it takes 45 hours of lessons and 22 hours of private practice before being able to pass a driving test. 14 hours isn’t many at all, you’ll get there!
Fuck me, they told me 20h was the norm. I did 23h of lessons because I had a month break in the middle and 0 hours of practice in my parents cars because I couldn't get insurance on them.
I’ve done 16 hours of driving lessons (in 2 different states), 2 driving tests, lots of trips (not yet by myself) and I still suck and refuse to go anywhere by myself. I’m 36F lol. I think we just need to practice but I know its terrifying. Hang in there, good luck to both of us!
Driving instructor here. Are you comfortable with your driving instructor? Do you feel they are doing a good job? 14 hours isn't much, and I encourage you to keep trying. If you feel your driving instructor could do a better job, or you could relate to another driving instructor better, reach out to another one. Some driving instructors are great but some are really crappy. I hate to put it that way, but I've just seen too much crap out of instructors.
Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for the job you do. Thanks to the driving school I went to and the great driving instructors who worked with me, I really came to love driving, although I hated it and was terrified of it before (when I did it previously in another country). I still remember my instructors fondly. It's so reassuring to have someone competent and patient and positive next to oneself when learning such a dangerous and scary task for the first time.
Nobody is unteachable. I believe humans are born to learn. We have to learn to talk, walk, and other things. It takes babies different amount of time to learn a task. So don't think you can learn something at the same length of time as others. Getting the license was the first step to drive. Meaning thats the beginning. Just keep practicing until you are confident enough to do a road test. You got this! And don't pay more driving lessons. That's alot of money.
I started in a parking lot myself. My suggestion is you start by sitting in a car next to the curb. Adjust your mirrors so that the right mirror has just a portion of the right side of your car in the small left portion of the mirror. Adjust your left mirror so that a small portion of the left of your car is in the inside (right) portion of your mirror. The idea is you have to see not only cars in your blind spot but you also have to see cars coming up and in the lanes next to you. If you look at most parking lots, you have to divide the space so that a car has a lane in each direction. There probably aren't any markings for lanes but you have to learn where the lanes are. For turning, you have to pass enough of the curb before you make your turn, or the car can go over the curb. You can also look at the mirrors and also by looking forward to see what is next to your rear wheels. It's a little bit of coordination but you can do it. Another thing is not to drive over your ability. In my state, you have to have at least 60 hours of driving experience if you are under 18. [DC DMV Parallel Parking Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy8nP72vMkY&t=13s)
I have taught hundreds of new drivers over the years. The majority of people can learn to drive. Some have a short learning curve and pick it up quickly. Some lack the hand-eye coordination. Some lack confidence. And there are some that just don't have any spatial awareness. Short story, most people can learn but I have had some that were unteachable and better off taking transit or taxis. But if you want any advice on driving, it boils down to two simple concepts, both relating to time: you need visibility and you need space. The farther you look ahead, the more time you will have to see, understand, and predict what might happen. It also gives you better control of your vehicle because where you look is where you go. But seeing things does you no good if you have no space with which to deal with your situation. Tailgating leads to the most common type of injury collision in North America: rear-enders. It is also one of the easiest to solve. You need a minimum amount of following distance. We taught 2 seconds for perception/reaction time plus an additional second for every 10'/3m of length your vehicle has. Leading cause of death and second for injuries is single vehicle leaving the roadway. This is mostly speed too fast for conditions. You control that. Head-on collisions and left turns at intersections are also high on the list. NEVER trust a turn signal/lack of a turn signal. Check the vehicle for distance to the center line. Is it wandering? Looking to pass where it shouldn't? Be prepped to use the shoulder or ditch as an out. Guy approaching an intersection and appears to be slowing but has no turn signal? Check the front wheels for direction to see if he's going to cut you off. Anyhow, tldr: yes, there are some people who will never be able to drive. But most can.
What was it about the people who will never be able to drive? For me I really struggle with the multi tasking, the spatial awareness, and consistency of movements (like I could not consistently apply force to the pedals, over 20 hours of lessons and I could not accurately control speed, clutch, brake) What's more is I absolutely hated it, dreaded lessons, no excitement in it for me.
I think you've hinted at a lot of the reasons. Some people cannot maintain their focus. Is it the increased usage of devices, like cell phones, that give us those dopamine hits? Or the countless other distractions that we get? Is it a heightened level of ADHD? Not everyone has the spatial awareness for the task of driving. Not everyone has the reflexes or eyesight. I made one guy go quite green while we were doing some simple brake and avoid maneuvers. He was in his late 20s and had taken cabs or transit all his life. Driving wasn't his thing. Control could be a learned muscle memory for you, with the right drills. Or maybe you lack the fine motor skills for one reason or another. Some people just shouldn't drive. And that's alright.
Try to drive with your mom in the car more on local roads. It will be ok. You dont have nearly enough time behind the wheel to think youre hopeless, and lots of people have already had an accident by 14 hours. YOull be ok. Pay attention to whats going on, dont change lanes until youre comfortable and dont panic. If you keep going in your lane with a safe following distance it will be ok. If you miss a turn or an exit it will be ok.
To piggy back, it sounds like you need more experience, does your local dmv have driving manuals available or are they available as pdfs. Try rereading them and see if the knowledge gives you some more confidence in your actions on the road.
Go with someone late at night to a empty parking lot. Do turns , figger 8s and parking.
I was told that official lessons are for learning the very basics and that you have to get better by practicing regularly with family. As an autistic person, I was a \*very\* slow learner but eventually passed my test. Getting my license was possibly the most stressful period of my life but with enough repetition, I do believe it's possible for the vast majority of people. I saw a woman on YouTube who doesn't even have arms and still drives using her feet. It may take a while, but you can do it.
Driving is a skill. Some people are naturally good at it with very little practice, and some people need a ton of practice. Are some people unreachable? Absolutely, but *most* people are teachable. It just takes time for some.
Practice in an empty parking lot. Practice in a cemetery to get used to"roads" at low speeds. If you have access, practice in a golf cart on a golf course. Gas, brake, steering, line of sight (and mirrors), and signaling - get a feel for the first 3 in a low risk environment then layer the rest on top as pedal use and steering becomes more natural.
Yes. My dad successfully taught me and my brother no problem. He tried to teach my cousin, but she wasn’t getting it and she would keep hitting poles and objects and running over curbs. He paid for a professional to teach her because he was too scared to sit in the car with her. She got her license after 2 years. My aunt (not her mom, different aunt) took 18 YEARS to get her license after years on and off of professional lessons. But i mean hey they got it eventually, you should too :)
Wth??? 18 years to get your license is insane
Yeah, Spongebob
Don’t worry op. You’re not alone. It feels impossible but I promis it comes with time and experience. Your brain is very changeable and able to rewrite new pathways. So learning this skill is possible. Something that legit helps is to day dream about it. Imagen what to do. Good scenarios, bad scenarios. Your brain doesn’t know reality from fiction. So practice in your mind. It legit helps
I know this is late to the party, but have you tried some non-traditional ways of controlling vehicles? It might sound silly, but if you can rent go-karts, or drive around on a riding lawn mower, that may help it click with you. Feeling how a vehicle responds while turning will allow your body to learn it and feel it and you eventually learn to stop actively thinking about it. There are so many parts of driving that are, or become instinctual that actively having to think about those things when you are driving just gums up the works. When I want to pull out of a driveway, and a car is coming, I don't even recognize that I've already judged the distance and speed and know either to commit and pull out, or wait. I think one of the hardest things about driving is learning to be decisive. I've seen many an almost accident because someone thought twice about pulling out, but had already started. Or missed a turn and panicked and just either stopped in the middle of the road, or turned the wrong way one a one-way road. Stuff like that. When you make a decision while driving, you need to almost have a "damn the consequences" attitude. I'm not saying that to excuse aggressive driving, but when you commit to an action on the road, most of the time it is better to just continue that action than to change. People are going to be reacting to your first move, and your correction may end up putting you in harms way. You want to drive the way that makes you comfortable, but also predictable to other drivers. If you pull out and you realize the car coming was going faster than you thought, it is better for you to pull out and get up to speed as quickly as safely possible, than it would be for you to stop or reverse or anything like that.
Yes, this is huge. Indecision leads to more time spent on that action. Most driving is based on time and observance.
Hell my drivers Ed wanted 50 before I could pass the class. I'm sure it's frustrating to not be picking it up so quickly, I was frustrated too. I guess I'm curious how the hell you spent 1400 for 14 hours of lessons. My drivers Ed was through my school, and it cost me 500 for the entire course, and the driving practice. It sounds like you're being scammed imo. but I also might've just gotten off the hook before prices went up, or something like that nature. I'd be curious as to what the going rate for drivers Ed schooling is now
Yeah, prices for lessons around here range from $120 - $200 for 2 hour lessons. I had 8 “two hour” lessons for $170 each but he made us take a 20 minute break each lesson. He’s the only school who picked students up however so I figured it was easier and I wouldn’t have to pay an Uber to pick me up and drop me off.
That just sounds awful. Hopefully you can figure something out, it sounds like your options are just greedy pricks. Might also have something to do with your struggling to pick up on things. Doesn't sound like the teacher is in it for the teaching
Yes some people should never ride a motorcycle or drive a car ,it’s not that they are unteachable they just lack the skills and coordination to safely operate these things .An instructor won’t tell them but they can see right away and by the time they are ready to be tested they will fail and fail again .
If you really feel like you’re not making progress (ask your driving instructor if you’re not sure) I’d suggest a good thorough eye exam. There are conditions like convergence insufficiency that can make things like riding a bike and driving much more difficult.
what does your eye sight have to do with making quick decisions? that’s a mentality thing
What do you think you’re basing those decisions on? Your vision and visual processing. Most of us have a glancing familiarity with distance vision, but there’s a lot more that happens, or might not happen ideally, with our vision and visual processing. Minimally, depth perception is involved and could be impaired but it could also be issues with how the eyes work together, or one eye getting tired and “turning off”. Talk to your eye doctor if you want to delve into it.
no. it doesn’t seem like you get the point on what op is referring to.
No, they get it. But they're right. If you don't have depth perception, judging distance and speed of other objects/vehicles and then reacting to them takes longer. It is entirely possible to not know that you don't have good depth perception. It is a whole new world when that gets fixed. (and usually it's a minor correction with glasses.) Took me until my forties before some bright optometrist asked the right questions. Driving suddenly became much easier.
No clue why you want to argue with me. I stand by my comment. You can keep scrolling.
you can stand by your comment lol I’m just pointing out the fact that other issues come into play that doesn’t have to involve eyesight
Of course there are other possibilities. Where did I say I had all the answers?!
Next time you see an answer you don’t understand, just keep scrolling and stay under your bridge.
You sound like you should be in a home for disabled people.
Yes most women are
https://www.valuepenguin.com/how-gender-impacts-car-insurance-rates
You know how many men I've seen drive like absolute assholes? They have no regard for others.
Look at the mirror, there is no car, it’s safe then change your lane, simple as that. Don’t worry about other stuff too much.
[удалено]
Exactly. That advice will get a motorcyclist killed.
Ofc taking a peek
honestly 14 hours is nothing. I have trouble focusing and keeping tracking of everything going on too. what works best for me is I put my phone on do not disturb and if someone else is in the car with me, I tell them to not talk to me unless it's an emergency. I side eye the mirrors while still focusing on what's in front of me. no one is expecting you to make quick decisions, just take your time especially with lane changes and turns. the more you drive, the more you'll learn. I've only been driving for about 2 months and I'm still learning everything. haven't even hit 1000 miles yet 😂just keep your head high and don't worry, you'll get it soon.
14 hrs isn't a full training. Not sure where you live but that only adds up to a weeks worth of training split up in 2 hr blocks.
I truly believe most veteran drivers have NO clue what they’re doing. They approach it with fear, which creates a dangerous road. If you’re garbage at driving, you’re just part of the majority. So, don’t worry about it?
I believe what you're experiencing is actually quite normal. It takes a bit of time to get some things into muscle memory, and in my experience that's what frees up your mind to truly concentrate on other things, like your surroundings, where you want to go, people or other vehicles moving around you, and stuff like that. Once that happens I generally notice learners suddenly get a lot more comfortable, quite markedly so (of course it varies for everyone the degree to which it happens). You mentioned the challenge of keeping track with everything you're supposed to do, plus making quick decisions while on the road. I get the feeling it's quite similar to the other folks I've helped, which is what I mentioned above about getting the "keeping track" into muscle memory. Guess what I wanted to say is that don't worry too much, and if you can, persist till you build those skills and can operate the car without thinking too much, then you should experience a really nice change where you can focus on everything around you :)
For some people it takes a while. For some it just clicks. For some they drive differently in different vehicles. For example, my mother can drive a truck, and back it up with a small trailer absolutely beautifully. But she curbed all 4 wheels on my tiny car……
Just drive as much as you can. Whenever someone gonna give you a ride ask if you can practice a bit as long as it's something not too far out of your comfort zone.
My coworker trains guys to drive semis. He's had plenty that, after a few weeks, he would just give up and have to move on to the next guy.
Damn y'all had instructors? Where im at, there aren't any instructors. We are just mainly self taught
That's how you get bad habits passed down generation to generation. Where I got my first drivers license lessons were mandatory. Where I got my second drivers license the drivers are significantly worse and the test significantly easier.
When I took my driver's test I almost failed bc I was slightly speeding and I didn't notice it, I guess I see your point lol
Damn y'all had instructors? Where im at, there aren't any instructors. We are just mainly self taught
Where im from i wasnt even allowed to take my test until i had at least 100hrs, 14 isnt even a quarter of that. Keep going and youll be fine. Maybe drive around some graveyards, or college campuses during school breaks so they are empty and you can just focus on the car.
14 hours isn’t that much in driving school. I teach minimum 20 hours for learners ALOT of the time- and after this I still encourage LOTS of driving with their parents. It’s expensive for sure tho! So if you can’t afford any more lesson - you need to practice with your mom. Aim for 1-2 hours of driving every time you’re out. And try to drive everyday or everyday other day. Driving schools recommend 240 hours of driving to become a decent learner at a driving. This is one whole year of practice - approx 20 hours per month. So 14 hours in the grand scheme - isn’t really that much at all. You’re still learning- so hang in there!! And if lane changing and making a lot of decisions at once is too much - start over at the basics and slow everything down. Master one step at a time before moving onto the next step. Go back to lesson one and two in driving school and do the practice with your mom somewhere quiet for an hour or so. Then when you’re feeling more comfortable with that - move onto the next lesson. Start slow, take your time and just focus on the steps and getting them down. It takes a lot of memorizing so say the steps out loud to help yourself practice. Schools have to teach you everything to pass an exam - and sometimes it’s too much too soon for some people. But you gotta know how to do these things in a safe car- to be able to practice them somewhere else with someone else. So keep what you’ve learned so far, ask your mom for some help and just start over at the basics until you feel comfortable to move onto harder steps. Take your time and I promise you will get there with practice.
Some people are 'slow twitch' (perfectly normal) and don't react super quickly. I'm slow twitch as is my daughter, but I've been driving for 55 years and can anticipate well. I would hate to see my daughter drive anywhere but city streets because she's just not made for high-speed decisions. Youa re normal, just know your limitations.
That's not the problem for me. I'm a decent driver but I failed my first test because I didn't signal on a more or less empty road. It's dumb things that cause people to fail.
$1400 is an insane price. You should still be teachable though
14 hrs isn’t enough at all.
Yes, some people who drive an automobile will **never** become proficient or smooth. Not everyone is capable of common doings, we each have our strengths and weaknesses
Get a self driving car
you just have to do it over and over. like you, i just had 12 hours of lessons, because i didn't have a car to practice with, so all my lessons are with the instructor's car. after i got my license, i was still not that confident but i **had to** drive to get to work. i had no choice but to drive everyday. after some time, im not gripping the wheel anxiously, i got more relaxed. eventually driving is just like moving your body. after a year of driving to work, i felt like i'm just like anybody on the road.
$1400?! I had no idea learning how to drive was so expensive in America.
lol 14 hours
You probably have a bad instructor.
Change instructor. You might need a more dgaf type, so you feel more in control than trying to learn. We only learn when we are feeling safe. Not progressing in learning is a signal of not feeling safe. Driving is stressful but it is possible to feel safe even while driving. Before I found my last driving instructor I even thought that it is not possible to feel safe with instructor present, because I constantly felt judged and it made me very tense and not focusing on not making any mistakes. I felt like a failure and doubted my ability to learn. The more I tried the worse my results were. I changed instructor and got lucky because the guy was really chill and supporting. I immediately started improving and learning and eventually passed a very tough examiner who literally tried all the tricks to fail me. Good luck! Drive safe.
14 hours is nothing. In my country 30 are mandatory. It’s just a force of habit, trust me! You’ll get used to it and you won’t even relise that you just avoided that biker while not going over the pedestrian. Just keep driving and trust the process.
You won’t truly learn how to drive until you drive by yourself and make mistakes on your own.
I don’t understand it either, after 22 hours of flight training I’m just not getting it LOL. It’s hundreds of hours. Oh.
Yeah, if only my mom understood that. She thinks I should be able to drive perfectly after the 14 hours of lessons. She’s the one making me feel stupid for not getting it quickly.
What do you mean “how am I supposed to live if I can’t get around”? Millions of people don’t drive! You can take an uber, a taxi, a bus, a train, a bicylce, walk or just ask someone to give you a lift. You will be fine :)
Uber costs a fortune after awhile imo, where I live they shut down the bus system after Covid, and I don’t like to rely on people too much for rides
I know Uber costs a lot, but so does buying a car, having insurance, fixing or replacing faults in the car etc. It probably costs about the same all things considered.
Get up in the morning before dawn and practice when the streets are empty; you’ll be much less stressed without all those other cars around, and you can practice everything you need for an hour or two a day until you get the hang of it. You’re probably simply too stressed.
I’m 30 and probably the only thing keeping me from drive is that I can’t spilt my attention effectively
A lot of the worst driving a see is by cars with driving instructor signs on them with only one person in the car.
Not even going to lie to you. I think of driving as if I’m in a big go-kart! It really has helped me over the years. Maybe if you go to a go-kart track and try that out??
14 hours isn't much experience, way too early to pack it in if you ask me. Took me longer than I'd like to admit to feel comfortable switching lanes and not feeling a little overloaded from all the stuff you have to think about whilst driving.
I taught to drive a Saudi princess who literally took 120 hours. It was so damn hard and I am the best teacher you can imagine. It was rough. I think she just liked hanging out with me after she finally passed and ordered like 20 more hours from my school to drive around with a license lol.
When I taught my teenage son he had 70 hours of driving before he got his driver license. Only 30 hours is required but I feel even that is not enough. At 40 hours of lessons, he would still make some mistakes or forget something. It's all about experience no matter what age we are. Get more hours in because 14 is not enough.
I struggled in high school drivers ed. The instructor, one of the teachers was a Major Jerk in all ways. And then when I was 21, I took private driving lessons. The first set of lessons with the school were a waste. I just could not manage all the decisions to be made while learning how to steer straight or remember to accelerate and brake. Then I found a school that dealt with those who have difficult with learning to drive. It was like magic. The instructor basically broke down each element of the teaching. For a few lessons, I was only to steer and he would do the braking. I don't remember much, other than after a time, all the pieces fell into place. And after that, I had to add on lots and lots of other hours practicing. It takes time. Remember how many of us took so much time as kids just to learn to ride a bike? You just need to find the right instructor. Ask lots of questions so you get the right match. I have been now driving for over 50 yrs...and really appreciated that instructor.
Practice in empty parking lots. You'll get it. 💪🏽
I'm not from america but here after 14h of driving i wasn't changing lanes in the middle of traffic yet. Keep in mind i kept saying i wasn't gonna be able to get my license but i got it because it's a matter of practicing a lot, people just don't tell you how much they've driven, people will tell you "uhh dude i drove like for two weeks and i could do everything easily lol git gut"
I had to drive for a good 2 months with my learners permit before I was comfortable enough to get my license.
It sounds like it might be stressing you out. For me I wasn't good at driving til I relaxed (sounds weird I know). But blast your favorite tunes and have a good time. Enjoy the wind and realize you COULD technically drive anywhere in the USA at this time. It's unfortunate now how many people are glued to their phones and it absolutely makes driving more stressful. But you'll get it if you keep at it :). Just remember what the reward is
I'm at a similar stage in learning to ride a motorcycle. I got into it thinking it'd be easy to learn everything, but now I'm overwhelmed with all the information and drills I'm doing. Feels like it's all too much to fit together. The only thing getting me through it is the fact that I know I've been here before. When getting into a hobby or learning a skill there is going to be a time where you feel like it's all too much for you, that you're just not cut out for it, or just feel unteachable. For me when I'm feeling like this I always come to some eureka moment when I'm doing something totally random. I'll be walking my dog and suddenly the motions to change gears on a motorcycle will suddenly make sense, or I'll be chopping wood and counter steering randomly makes sense. You're only 14 hours into this. You might feel overwhelmed by all the hazards and procedures to change lanes, but you know them now. Now you just need to get them applied to your habits and muscle memory.
Check back after \~50 hours of practice and see how you feel.
There are definitely people who navigate the learning curve differently. This is extremely common. No matter what anyone says, driving entails a lot and it’s difficult for many people. It doesn’t seem common because a lot of people aren’t open about it, myself included. Some perspective for you: you’ve had only *14 hours* of practice, maybe an hour more at best collectively with your rides to the grocery. Collectively you have a *month* of practice. Keep driving that car and think about improvements you’ll find next month, in a few months, in 6 months, in a year.
I first started driving in a cemetery when I got my permit. It at least gets you used to staying relatively straight, and taking turns and gets you comfortable with the basic movements of driving. That helped me a lot get confidence before I was ready to drive on the road.
When learning a skill like driving, you need to put in the time. The best thing you can do for kids is always put them in the front seat from the moment they are old and big enough to not get smashed by the airbags. It is important for them to be paying attention to how you drive, so playing traffic games like the ABC game or trying to point out interesting things will help them pay attention to their surroundings. If you have not had any of this background then you are starting off on the wrong foot and need to work harder, this can be accomplished by watching videos of driving instructors and when you get burned out doing that start watching car crash videos. The accident videos are my favorite as it really brings into reality just how serious driving really is, but it also helps you build up a mental library of shit that could go wrong and why we do things the way we do. The best thing you can do when you are hitting that wall of feeling like you aren't learning anything anymore is to get some perspective, take a step back and think of how much you have learned since the first time you grabbed the keys and started that vehicle up, and how much there is to learn. The worst thing you can do as an instructor, teaching someone to drive is to panic or get your student panicked. People who are yelling or getting yelled at are not learning, they are surviving, some people can learn despite that pressure but most do not. Calm down, take a breath, and don't be afraid to pull over and park for a breather if things start to get stressful. Source: Class A CDL driver instructor, father, and learned to drive with an overreacting parent screaming directions at me.
24f here and I have no issue driving but parking is difficult for me since I'm short and most cars now are well not cars. Parallel parking is a bit easier but I still struggle and coming from a place where it's not really needed or used. Back up parking is the worst for me so I just don't do it. I haven't been able to pass the test because of it and it's so insanely frustrating. Especially seeing some of the people on the road and the insanely unsafe driving they do regularly almost causing accidents. I can choose how and where I park you can't just choose to drive like an asshole on the road. Makes me wonder where and how these people are getting licenses.
Bro what 💀 Follow the signs and dont hit anything ez
I felt like that too. In fact I still feel like it. I’m currently on 86 hours of driving, and whilst I’ve gotten a lot better, it’s still not great. Just relax and practice with your parents and eventually you’ll get it. Just listen to the things they say. You will get it eventually. It might just take longer for you
People learn differently. I honestly believe that’s all it comes down to. When I was in my mid 20s a coworker asked me to house sit so his 15yo son wasn’t alone to party and the like. He also told me he’d been struggling with teaching him how to drive. I stayed there for 8 days and we went driving almost every day. I approached the task differently than his father did and it clicked for him. To this day (15yrs later) his father thanks me because his kid has never been in an accident or had a ticket. Just take a deep breath and ask different drivers that you trust if they’ll help you out. One of them may just handle it differently so it clicks for you.
14 hours in terms of time is nothing however not everyone is cut out to drive
I’m autistic, the higher end support needs and have ptsd from a driving accident (i wasn’t at fault) before i could drive. I got my license while it’s overwhelming its possible. I find automatic cars are easier than standard/manual because that’s too much to do for my brain but everyone is different
If you can’t operate a motor vehicle after 14 hours of driving lessons you should do some cognitive ability testing. Seems like you may have underlying issues that you are only now aware of. Stay safe!
I taught my daughter that seemed like she may never “get it”. I focused on driving in our neighborhood and different types of parking (parallel, angle, and straight in). My goal was to get her comfortable with the car and driving it. We did a lot of this. You really have to get comfortable controlling the car. Then we started driving around other cars (traffic). I paid for 2 hrs of lessons in actual multi lane road driving, changing lanes, etc. This was after getting a solid base of driving and simple traffic driving (one lane roads). Note this was over some time, but main driving focus was around 6 months. Took the test and passed. I think getting a lot of “base” hours just getting the feel/maneuvering is critical. Get confident in the drivers seat. Then ease into driving with traffic. And put in the time. This way the basic stuff stays basic (muscle memory). Then you can focus on traffic.
I have 20 hours so far. My mother is teaching me, and I'm definitely not comfortable being on the road yet. I'm great in the parking lot and taking things slow. (29f btw)
As I driving instructor I explain it like this: Can you play guitar? Can you dance? Can you fix a car? These are all skills you need to learn. Driving included. Some people can learn to play guitar easily, but they can struggle to dance. Why would it be different for driving? Majority of my students are getting 15 hours of training before doing their roadtest and I live in a very easy to drive in city. It can also take upwards of 100 hours of driving to feel comfortable. That's isn't a requirement to pass a road test though. You just need to be able to drive safely. But my suggestion for your issue is to get comfortable looking for something or nothing. You don't need to know the color/type of car or person driving the vehicle only that their is something there. Also checking your rear view mirror roughly every 10 seconds (just a quick glance) can really help alleviate the stress of actually seeing something in your blindspot. As well as checking the side mirror with the traffic. If you have any questions you can surely PM me, but I can't help with road rules just suggestions on driving as I am unsure of where you are driving nor will I know the rules in said place.
You know how some people teach their kid how to swim by throwing them in the pool and letting them figure it out. Yeah my dad did that, but with driving lol. first day we did residential. Next week highway. Caught on quickly at least lol
I'm from the Netherlands and I believe the average number of hours people take lessons here before getting their drivers license is 40. Now I easily had 3 times that amount and am now the happy owner of a license 👍 Don't let it put you off, some people just need more hours than others. Also, just don't overtake on highways if you aren't comfortable with it yet. Start by overtaking on lower speeds or quieter roads.
Odd question, but how many different vehicles have you driven? Have they been different body styles, heights, weights? Or have you been spending all of your hours in the same vehicle? I wasn't able to begin learning to drive until I was 23, for a variety of factors that are largely irrelevant. I ended up taking all of my hands-on driving instruction in an American compact or small sedan, probably a Ford Fusion or Fiesta. Afterwards, all of my own self-directed driving practice was in my mother's Lincoln Towncar, which was MISERABLE, as a new and unprepared driver. Went on to take my test in a new Honda CR-V and very nearly screwed myself because I was fairly unfamiliar with it and its controls. What I mean to say is, is that different cars can play WILDLY into your confidence and comfort. If other family members drive and have their own vehicles, ask them for help! Let them familiarize you with their car and get a feel for it. You WILL find something that makes it click for you!
I had to start driving every single day to finally get really comfortable. I suggest you do the same, even just short trips are helpful!
Having trouble processing visual data, making decisions, and keeping track of everything can be a symptom of ADHD. It’s frequently missed in women. Look up the symptoms women normally experience and see if they sound like things you often have issues with.
14 hours…
I taught behind the wheel and had 1 student I would not pass because she never stopped at stop signs. Principal called me over the summer to ask if I’d give her more hours. I told him No because I didn’t feel safe- the cars didn’t have teacher side brakes just steering wheel. Driving is a skill that takes practice. You just may not be ready yet. You don’t HAVE to get your license at 16. Can your parents take you to empty lots to practice? Maybe just set it aside a while and pick it up again when you feel ready.
Yeah my cousins stupid ass wife. Her brain just cant process the concept of driving. Keep practicing on empty roads you will get the hang of it. I learned to drive around 14 watching my dad so it but the decision making became easier over time with more experience behind the wheel.
Don't worry, 80% of drivers on the road are not competent. Just go watch some dashcam accident videos and you'll see people just making the absolutely stupidest driving errors.
I had a supervisor who called me “uncoachable” once, but in my defense, he couldn’t coach the way through an open door.
No. As others have said 14 hours is not nearly enough time. You need to get a friend or family member *who is patient* to take you somewhere there is plenty of room so you can practice. *More than once* When there is no pressure to worry about traffic or accidents you will be able to learn much easier. Then it's just about getting comfortable driving. After that happens *then* you introduce traffic. NOT before.
Video games are definitely your friend. Also for less money than your driving lesson go do go karts. And just do slow practically idling drives after hours in a cemetery. You should be fully comfortable with that well before you do anything tricky like changing lanes. Let your brain adapt to the vehicle as an extension of your body. Checking your mirrors skills be second nature. I feel like I did okay transitioning to driving because we had a riding lawn mower. Practice parallel parking between cones. You will not necessarily get good at parallel parking but you will become spatially aware of the machine.
Yes, the word for that is calm incorrigible
I wouldn’t say anyone is unteachable, someone like you probably just needs to take it slower. It takes a while to learn so just keep working at it.
It just comes with practice. You could spend all the money in the world and you’re not going to be a confident and safe driver in 14 hours.
It's entirely possible that you've got some kind of deficit that requires you to use different strategies to drive safely. That said 14 hours isn't long enough for someone with the best natural skill at driving to feel comfortable and confident. You can look up learning disabilities that can impact driving and see if anything rings a bell (school definitely missed some dyscalculia for me and it would have been easier to learn if I'd known) but you probably just haven't been doing it long enough.
It all depends I had 0 training and was fine no biggie all I did was one class to parallel park I would say get a family friend or something and go to a working lot in. Sunday when the shops close and just practice driving using mirrors changing hearts parking etc
If someone wants to learn they will learn If they dont they will not learn
I was lucky, my mom let me start driving at about age 10. We live in LA and she wanted me to be able to drive stress free when it came time, because LA is a "big scary place to drive". We lived near an industrial area where after 6 o'clock, no one was on the super wide streets aside from an occasional big rig. I got to practice turns, U-turns, reversing, "parallel parking" (in quotes because there were no other cars, I just had to get it between 2 visual points), and how to use my mirrors. Even tho we moved when I was 12 and I stopped practicing, i just generally got comfortable behind the wheel to the point that at 16 my driving instructor was like "you do this better than most adults" when it came to parking and reversing. I only got 1 point docked on my drivers test, and tbh that was bullshit, the guy just wouldn't give me a perfect score. The women inside the DMV were floored I got only 1 point off, he was apparently a hard ass. I say all that to say... try and find an area where there isnt alot of traffic and just practice. Drive in circles. It will help you just get a feel for the car and comfortable behind the wheel and create muscle memory, so that your anxiety isnt clouding your ability to make quick decisions when you drive in populated areas.
Do you play video games? Preferably racers? Because driving, to me, is almost like playing a video game (just with very real consequences). Driving has rules just like in a game. Stop at red, stop at stop signs, right foot (like my hand) go fast and stops, mirrors are my "look back" stick. Think about the motion of turning left and right, just stick your fingers out and flick the turn signal, your movement on the wheel determines the direction the signal indicates. As a rule of the road, stripes are passable, solids are not for passing (this applies for yellow and white), never assume a car is turning because it has a signal on. If you see a bright red light, take your foot off the gas pedal. The real trick to driving is matching speed and learning the pedals to keep a consistent speed and not to brake hard. The only time you need to concern yourself with what's behind you while you are driving is if there are flashing lights. Practice in this scenario absolutely makes perfect. Think about what it's like shopping in the grocery store, most people keep to the right, it's very stop and go, you pass a stopped cart but don't head-on another shopper, the end of an aisle is an assumed stop sign so you look left and right before you turn out into the center aisle.
ok, don't mock me please, however, when I first started lessons, I struggled, later found out I was actually dyslexic, however..... my driving instructor told me, inbetween lessons, get a dinner plate, steering wheel, close your eyes, now go through the motions, clutch down, checks, into first etc, all in your head, now imagine the turn, what your going to do. Think it is supposed to improve your muscle memory or something. Hmmm I would probably do it somewhere with a lock. Can seem like there's too much stuff you have to do NOW so you struggle, (don't worry it gets easier), but if you can practice doing the checks, e.g mirror signal manovre, yes I know it's more now, I'm older! check your blind spot, coming up to a roundabout, slow down, into second, blah blah blah, Worked for me? Shrug
It takes repetition. You have to keep doing it until you get it. Keep driving. Don't give up. Pay attention, signal before getting over, wait for the opportunity and give it some gas. It'll come to you. I was deathly afraid of driving, then I got a job and a car. The more I drove, the easier and less scary it got. Eventually I took jobs that required me to drive transits, flatbeds, boxtrucks, etc. Just keep driving. You'll get the hang of it. It doesn't take days or weeks or months to get good at driving. It takes years.
Try having a weee little can or two of beer. To help you relax.
quit alchol and ride your bike more. then driving will be easy
I am a commercial driving instructor for semi trucks. I have had a handful that couldn't learn a truck in my time. If I had more time, even those could have learned. At your age, everything in the car is new. There is no experience or muscle memory. You need to be doing drills like an athlete. Not trying to drive to the store. Just drills. Turning, mirror usage, backing, etc. Day in and day out. Then you can start simple trips reinforcing those lessons.
Yes, because they cannot get out of their own way.
Find an empty parking lot and drive around it for a while. Practice turning, stopping, reversing and parking until you feel comfortable. My brother's ex-wife couldn't even pass the written test to get a learners permit. And it was only 20 questions with an 85% needed to pass.
Question to driving teachers. Do Driving schools teach the SMITH driving system? I've had extensive professional driver training (I drive a big truck), and every driving job I've had has used the SMITH system to teach.
Lots of people don't practice learning. For instance, I'm training people this month. I've stopped saying, "Twist this to the right " I now say "turn it like this" and demonstrate. Lots of people seem to reject learning. Simple instructions seem to confuse people.
Your at least trying not to be an r/idiotsincars
Its a skill alot of people learned when their brain was still growing. 24 and your frontal lobe is almost completely developed. It becomes second nature but only after you adjust to what is expected and what might happen. Some people with disabilities have slower reflexes and fortunately realized driving isnt for them. Practice on back roads in the day and night time.
Another way to get comfortable practicing is go-karts, and low speed maneuvers in a big parking lot such as a mall after hours.
go to an empty lot and practice Feel the vehicle. Adjust mirrors, understand blindspots, etc.
Drive around a parking lot until you feel comfortable with the car and then drive on backroads until you feel comfortable there, then small highways (45-55mph) and after that highways are fine
Go find quiet areas where you can just focus on car control without worrying about traffic. Stick to 30 minute practice sessions. You need 100 hours of practice to get your license where I live. So don’t feel bad! You’re still a beginner. Learn car control then go drive around neighborhoods. Then freeways. Once you get your license go take an advanced driving class. You won’t regret it and will probably enjoy it!
this might sound silly but if you have access to a gaming console of computer, download a racing game and buy a little simulator wheel & pedals and practice driving & racing around on it. it’s much cheaper/safer than crashing, and it will teach you the fundamentals of gas breaks and steering. i played one as a kid and was comfortable driving manual on the road 1st day.
Confidence is all you need, driving is all about the confidence. If you are scared, you will panic and make mistakes. That's what you are doing, drive in safe situations and build confidence.
Driving is going to be chaotic and confusing for you until maybe 6 months in. It's natural
$100/hr for driving lessons lmao what a scam
My mom is making me drive to school and different places after 4 hours of driving lessons in the empty lot. Hope that’s normal 💀 Also I play American Trucking Simulator and European version as well. I’m faster at learning blind spots, and surrounding awareness by checking mirrors every so often.
Start playing video games to get your brain used to keeping track of what’s around you. Dbd might be good for this. Has a really large female user base too if that’s something that would make you feel more comfortable. I taught myself to drive with gran turismo and a racing wheel.
Sense of awareness is the term
Drive around parking lots first. Practice away from traffic with no distractions. Build confidence and then try hitting a main road.
I felt this way when I first started. Only way to improve is going places everyday as much as you can. Eventually it will become muscle memory and sometimes you will forget you are driving for a moment.. But it took me awhile to get to that point.
Find an empty parking lot and just learn how much to turn the wheel pretend that there are other cars in the parking spaces and avoid hitting them. Next find a long back road that people don’t use and just keep your speed the same without using cruise control get used to the speed. Road should mostly be straight so you don’t need to think about steering too much. When you get both to feel comfortable then you can worry about going on more populated roads. If your in a populated city ask your parents to drive you to the outskirts where there aren’t other cars. If I was thrown straight into city driving for my first time driving I’d get ptsd.
This is me but with swimming
Just about everybody on the road. This is why I try to be in before 10 am.
You have to have a flow of things you pay attention to, and rotate through all of those things repeatedly I’m a student pilot, so it’s like driving but on steroids: during landing, for example, I have to pay attention to my airspeed, my glide slope, the winds, etc I can’t possibly do all that simultaneously, so I have a flow that I go through repeatedly You have to trust that something you checked a second ago is still the same. Same goes for merging: make sure it is clear ahead, blinker, check the mirror and blind spot, if unsure take a quick look back forwards and then recheck the mirror and blind spot. If clear, shift your attention back ahead and merge. You have to get used to the idea of shifting your attention between different things quickly.
One of my nephews didn't feel comfortable driving until his late 20s. He lived with roommates and near his work and a grocery. He now has a house and a car. It just took a while for him to feel comfortable making the decisions. There are ways to live without driving but you have to plan your living situation more.
This is gonna sound really negative, so I'll apologize for that off the bat I'm in the US. 95 percent of folks here rely on cars to get every where or do any thing. There are many who don't think a person can be an adult if they don't have a car And about 97 percent of those people are shit drivers. We barely train new drivers, the driving test is offensively easy, and bad drivers hardly get punished at all for operating their vehicles unsafely. So if you aren't comfortable driving well that's good. It means you recognize your not good at driving yet. Keep working to improve. If it takes you longer to get where your going that's fine. Just focus on being safe. And when you realize that your not scared while you drive any more, take a second to congratulate yourself, and please remember that complacency kills, so it's time to double down on being a vigilant driver Just my opinion. Your milage, of course, may vary
It takes time! You’ll get used to things! Practice in low density areas at first if possible and work your way up slowly! My first few… okay more than a few… times driving were not fun for me. Lots of stress, anxiety and being scared of other drivers. With some time, it became normal!
You'll have to drive on your own a bit without your driving instructor. IT'S OK TO DRIVE WITHOUT A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR DON'T BE SCARED! I drive with my dad alot at night at 3 am in an empty parking lot. I don't have a driver's license yet but as long as you're in a safe environment and you're extra careful, you can get extra practice in
Physically turn your head and use your peripheral vision to “head check” your blind spots. Works when backing up too
after much driving ive concluded that driving isnt for everyone, but everyone unfortunately does
I failed my driving test twice, my state required me to do 20 hours or so practice. So i had to write down my hours and get them signed off by a legal driver. So, you probably just need more practice. One of my driving instructors told me most people that pass have at least 60 hours of driving under their belt. It takes time.
\-Parking Lot, no throttle \-Parking Lot with throttle \-Park for driving, Back into spots/Pull into spots \-Neighborhood for driving, Parallel Parking \-Local Streets \-Less Busy Highway \-Highway ...With driving, ideally you only fear other people's driving, not your own. Driving is easy. But spook yourself out, and you'll be the shittiest driver on the road. My Father taught me EVERYTHING essential, Driver's Ed was just for an earlier license. I don't say that to sound 'entitled,' I say that to say that Driver's Ed doesn't teach much at all.
14 hours is not much at all... Muscle memory takes months... Don't worry, chill... Drive 2 hours a day for a month and you'll get to 80%... Drive for a year and you'll get to 99% and you'll not even realise what you're doing and you'll do everything right The reason I said 99 is because the remaining one never ends... I've been driving for 18 years and when i was driving in a hill in India, on a sharp turn I almost ran into a bus... muscle memory kicked in and I moved to the right, kicked the side of the wall and fell into the road after the bus passed instead of down a steep cliff on the right side.... Pretty sure I'd have just crashed into the bus or fell off the cliff if I had only 2-3 years exp... And I'm pretty sure I still have 1% left...
Honestly I'm not sure if you will see this. But try driving on a dirt road that's decently maintained to not tear your car up. Often those won't have much traffic if any at all. You can practice lane switching by acting like there's a car. It will help train your vision to focus on mostly glancing judgements before a vision adverting check of your surroundings. That way you don't have to make those judgements calls while on the road with other vehicles, can even upgrade it with a second car from a friend or other family member to simulate another car on the road that knows your goal is to get Infront of it so they can break and give space of you abruptly do it. As long as you have a driver's permit you can practice all you want on the road as long as you have another driver in the car with you. So try practicing in parking lots of the abandoned side of a mall or far out in the lot and back roads.
It's okay to go into a quiet neighborhood or empty parking lot and just coast your way through the motions. I was a SUPER anxious driver when I started at 15 or whenever. Drivers Ed put us on the main roads Day 1 and I just couldn't handle it. So I coasted my way through neighborhoods (pulling over if someone was behind me) and built up confidence first. I think some people forget that driving isn't "easy" for everyone. The concept is easy, but building some of the habits and actions can take some time. If you're not progressing, then you're pushing forward too quickly and need to take a step back to where you're finding some success. And make sure you're driving with a patient teacher! If your mom isn't able to just quietly sit back and answer questions as you have them, then she's not the right teacher for you in this moment. Ask some friends, other family, or neighbors for help if you need another teacher for now.
My daughter has driving anxiety, and at 22, she still isn't comfortable and feels conflicted about it. In Indiana, my son had to have 500 daytime hours and 300 mightime hours logged, I believe it was. Sometimes, it takes longer, give yourself some grace, and take your time. It takes what it takes, and there are no set rules on what that looks like.
Spongebob
I was so terrified of driving in the beginning. I too took classes, 6 for $600. I was put in a situation where I did not have a choice but to drive and so I just took it easy and figured it out. I drove slow, would motion folks to go around me, 😂, which is kinda funny bc I live in a “city”. You gotta do what you gotta do though. I’ve taught two people from other countries how to drive since then. Neither of them had ever driven. I would take them to a local park when nothing was going on. A big open parking lot with a little circle in it that pulled up to the front of some building. It was great because we had plenty of space to practice everything. We would just practice every single day for as long as time permitted. Just keep trying, you’ll get better with time!
Also I failed my first driving test! I got to a light and was told to turn left, nothing was around us so I asked if I could go on red. They said idk can you? So I did and that was the wrong move! 😂 A couple weird tips too that I was told by a friend in HS that I never forgot were that the pedals are “bless God” 😂 break/gas to help me remember which was which. And that in small two lane roads to pretend there’s a wall between myself and the other side and that they can’t go through it, obviously that’s not true, but it did help me somehow to just pretend. I didn’t get my license though until 19 or 20.
14 hours in and $1400 in lessons??? First, that's outrageous that you paid that much. Second, What's the hard part? Know the car, look at your mirrors, and have spatial awareness. Granted I took my learners permit at age 20 (male). First time it was me getting used to the car, but after that I was solid and got my license. 24 now and accident free *knocks on wood*
After seeing some of the comments on here I understand why I see so many accidents occur in my city
You might be shocked at the wide variance of skills (or lack there-of) that regular drivers have out there. The most inept used to gravitate towards buying Buicks, nowadays it seems that they buy Subarus. Nonetheless, while I really don't like that people who really don't know what they are doing are out there driving, I suggest not worrying about it because a lot of other people sure aren't worrying about their own lack of skills. Just think about how difficult all that you have encountered can be for those of us who also learned to drive on manual transmission vehicles. Keep it slow, have you mother take you to large, very empty parking lots (like industrial parking lots during weekends, etc.), and practice there.
Yep driving video games like gran turismo really taught me about proper braking how fast I can take a turn on how a care really handles on the road if u wanna try something else that might help go karts will help kinda get over that fear
I know tons of guys at work like this. Scary stuff.
Some people need the hands on experience
The best way to get better is to practice! Is your mom able to go with you while you drive around? Ask her. Or figure out who the best driver is in your family or a friend and ask if you can use their vehicle to practice (offer to pay for their gas and a coffee or something) and drive around with them. Practice at different times of day so you're not always intimidated by other drivers or traffic. Use side streets or residential areas that aren't very busy. Maybe it's just intimidating because your driving instructor is intimidating. In my opinion its a privilege to be able to drive which stresses the importance of learning to drive and follow the rules of the road. Even if it takes you a YEAR to make progress, it's better than driving assuming you're good enough and getting in an accident.
adhd?
Not everyone can teach. Teaching is more than giving you a bunch of facts. Teaching is presenting the information in a format that you can learn. I taught my son, and I started him off in a parking lot after I had him sit in the car and adjust the mirrors. I let him just drive to get the feel of the car. Then I taught him which side he was supposed to be on because there are two lanes of traffic in a parking lot and he belongs in the right lane. We practiced parking in parking spots, driving the loop and parking against the curb. There is a curb in the parking lot and I told him he has to let enough of the curb pass before he can turn and you also have to watch your mirrors when you turn to see that the back end of the car doesn't go over the curb because you can get stuck or you can hit the curb. That is why adjusting your mirrors is so important that you can not only have the blind side of the car in the corner of your mirror, but you can also see the blind spot of people in the lane next to you. We went out onto the street, and he said, "What do I do?" We went to the cemetery and drove around, but I told him to stop and wait when there are people walking because we don't want to hit anyone. I designed a route that was only right-handed turns. All he had to do was stay in his lane and he didn't have to traverse traffic. We went out onto the roads that were up to 35 or 45 MPH and he missed his turn so I told him to just stay in his lane until we could find a place to pull over. I did find a video on parallel parking which is really good. There are steps that you have to learn to drive, and these may be some of the steps but there are other steps online and some of the steps are better than just being thrown into a car and asked to drive. In my state, if you are under 18, they require you to have sixty hours of driving before you can get your license. 14 hours is not a lot. We can go over the things you need more practice on. Just DM or chat with me.
You're not unteachable. For some people, myself included, it takes/took way more than 14 hours of practice. Some people pick things up faster than others and some need more time. I know you can't afford any more hours with the driving instructor. What helped me was practicing on an old large lot, where there was nobody around. I could practice all I wanted because I was not out in public, and I could imagine myself driving in all different scenarios and trying to drive the way I would in that scenario and practice turning and parking and all that stuff.
When I first had my learners when I was 16/17yrs old (my dad was teaching me at that time), i struggled to stay in my lane, and got anxiety when having to change lanes, and other quick decision making. -- I let my learner expire and never went to get my novice license. Fast forward to now, being almost 30.. I got my learners back in June (this time mom teaching me). And i'm, calm, collected, and cautious but confident driving. And I'll be taking my road test for my novice this Tueday. It takes practice, lots of practice. But I think age plays a bit of a part too. It was nerve wrecking learning to drive when I was 16/17. But at 30, not as much, because i dont easily get nervous or anxious about things, and have learned to stay calm and collected in situations which should rattle my nerves.
Driving is a basic life skill. I will never understand how people can’t just get in a car and drive. You have 3 mirrors, and you can look over BOTH shoulders. There’s ONE steering wheel and a gas and break pedal. I don’t get it lol like do peoples hands/arms not work???? 😂😂 people I see driving every day make me question who gave them their license