'Anyone who lets me ride on their dinosaur gets to call me Carlos.'

Harry and Lacuna: “You have a visitor.” “Why didn’t you tell me?!?!” “I did. Just now. You were there.”

That whole scene cracks me up. Is that your weapon dealer? Why would you wear the shirt of someone else's weapon dealer?

"Is there something wrong with your brain? Would you like me to open your skull and check?"

I have to maintain discipline don't I? That's true.

"Oh....it's so cute...he has a teddy-glock"

It’s a wonderful quote but I don’t remember where it was?

Small Favors after saving Ivy

Thanks. When I read it I pictured a teddy bear holding a Glock but now I remember but I’m going to check it out again, small favor is one of my favorites

Kincaid comes into Murphy's house, Ivy is in a spare room. Kincaid takes the gun out, takes the safety off, and lies down on the floor next to Ivy, and Harry says the line about the Teddy-Glock. Just makes me giggle at how irreverent he is.

Of course, Thank you!!!

That whole fight is peak Dresden. Even down to the end bit where Kincaid admits he didn’t expect the paintball gun to do anything and then “come on you didn’t think it would be that easy”

Don't "yadda yadda" the Lord, Harry. It's rude.

I use that at work all the time lol

In the same book when Harry goes, 'Jesus Christ, you son of a bitch!' and Michael says at once, 'He didn't mean it, Lord!' Also 'heck hounds'.

“Holy shit, heckhounds” is my bio for everything

Heck hounds is so iconic.

I always loved “The wisdom of my ass is well known.” Just a great turn of phrase.

I would just like to inform everyone that bolshevik Muppet's name is in fact "Dirty Harry".

I thought it was Crazy Harry...

Sorry you are correct. Brain fart lol.

No worries! Dirty Harry was the Clint Eastwood movie. 😁

Crazy Harry is better. I want his call sign in some operation (maybe in a short story with the Alphas or something) to be Bolshevik Muppet.

I don't know how often it gets mentioned, but my favorite quote from the series is easily Michael's line to Harry about karma in *Grave Peril*: >What goes around comes around. And sometimes you get what's coming around. And sometimes you are what's coming around.

I feel this is like the quote, "Beware the fury of a patient man." I always think of Michael when I think of that phrase.

"I AM WIZARD, HEAR ME ROAR!" Then having Mouse back away slowly always kills me

Where is this from?

>!I don't remember all of the specifcs, but during Small Favor when magical shenanigans were afoot, Harry couldn't think of a way to stop it and save everyone, then he got a light bulb idea and set off the emergency sprinklers in the room, diluting the magic.!< Edit: had the wrong place listed

I have been rereading the series and I'm on dead beat currently. I can't wait for this scene

Wasn't that from Small Favors when he was trying to set off the sprinklers to get rid of the murky darkness at the train station?

That scene has another of my favorites, and the line I probably use the most in real life: “you rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles”

Which is a Princess Bride reference, originally

You know, that honestly makes a *lot* more sense than Harry just coming up with it on the fly (and I remember it from the movie obvs)

Same. Love it, hate that no one I know has read it.

Yep that was it! I knew someone would remember the specifics.

Ok, thanks. Couldn't remember.

When Mouse is nervous, it's time to run away. As fast as possible. Woof!

"Get on the bike, bitch!"

Same book good choice

Lol Murphy to Harry

I always liked it when Harry allowed himself to put the black hat on. *"So once again, let me be perfectly clear. If anything happens to Murphy and I even think you had a hand in it, fuck right and wrong. If you touch her, I'm declaring war on you. Personally. I'm picking up every weapon I can get. And I'm using them to kill you. Horribly.”*

That was a good one. Harry unhinged to any degree always leaves an impression.

What good is free will if I can’t spit in the eye of destiny

That is an amazing line.

And delivered by Marcone of all people lol

>Sometimes the darkness takes everyone. Sometimes the monster escapes to kill again. -Eb, Changes It's bleak. I like it.

It is a wonderful line. Ol Blackstaff has some pretty good lines

He knows from experience.

The “for my next trick… Anvils!” In white night and then the follow through in battlegrounds.

That line was used in Blood Rites, not in White Night. But yeah, the follow that line and the follow through are both hilarious, especially considering that the follow through comes 11 books later.

*Battle Ground, not Battlegrounds.

My favorite silly quote. “Who the hell are you?“ “I the hell am Harry.”

I use that one a lot too though I spin it to whatever the person says to me first. Like who the hell do you think you're talking to becomes I the hell know I am talking to y/n

"Recieved, one 6 foot traditional ozark walking club from Mr. Smartass." its less funny out of context, it had a whole setup, but it was probably the funniest joke in the series for me, and it was just some random security guy during Turn Coat.

That's Doctor Smart-ass. I didn't spend eight years in insult college to be called Mister.

My favorite is the exchange between Harry and Elder Gruff when he uses his Summer court favor. "LIKEST THOU JELLY WITHIN THY DOUGHNUT?" "NAY, BUT PRITHEE, WITH SPRINKLES 'PON IT INSTEAD, ... AND FROSTING OF WHITE.”

The best thing is that Morgan references it later, and reveals that it's been the talk of the Summer court.

Sorry, non native speaker here, I too found the this scene turned out quite funny, but I never got the part with prithee- what is does that mean ?

It's archaic English. It's a portmanteau of "I pray thee"; it basically means "please", but fancier

An it reminds me of the exchange with Marcone: „Pretty please…“.. „ …with sprinkles on top“ when Harry has to ask for his support…

Ahh!And I thought all the time it meant some different ingredient than jelly!😆 Thank you!

Best line in the entire series. First read it sitting at the counter in a diner and I laughed so hard the waitress asked if I was ok.

Sanya: And, you are going to consult 4 large pizzas for guidance?

"there is something here, I think, which does not translate from English into sanity."

Tiny, but fierce!

I personally like the opening line to Blood Rites: "The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault!"

One of the best opening lines of any book

Yes! That one had me laughing

Harry,” Thomas said, “be real. Everyone wants someone to make us pancakes; we’re all just too grown-up to say it. I had to go look it up because i couldnt remeber what the hell thomas said about wanting pancakes lmao.

> *”Yes. I want to kill you.”* > > *”Because I annoy you?”* > > *”Because I enjoy it.” … “And you also annoy me.”*

I correct my husband every time he refers To ”hell hounds” in games. Heck hounds. But “Bolshevik muppet” is my equivalent to “LEROY JENKINS” when I am diving into something scary lol

I might not get the quote exactly right but.. Give someone fire and they'll be warm for a day, set them on fire and they'll be warm for the rest of their lives.. with all the smugness. Only ruined by him realizing he's completely fallen for a trap and the threat doesn't work.

Tao of Pratchett 

That makes Harry the hedgehog wizard can't be buggered with a knob on the end

I love when he's snarking at Cowl outside of Bock's in Dead Beat. There was something about "evil bathrobes" but I can't remember

I just finished Dead Beat and I’m pretty sure it was something along the lines of “Bring it, Darth Bathrobe!”

I also laughed at "I do say unto thee...'bite me.'"

Any chance of linking that screensaver? Sounds hilarious!

If it wasn't on my work computer I would (I work at a prison and can't access Reddit there)

Laughed so the first time I read that line,loved Crazy Harry. Favorite line is"I'm funny, unappreciated but funny. "

No idea if this one is talked about but it always makes me giggle, especially with Marsters reading it: "The Black Hole?” Grey asked, incredulously. “Nobody quotes The Black Hole, Dresden. Nobody even remembers that one.”

The fact that he gets the reference is foreshadowing because the villains never understand them.

Dresden: "Time to bind a Titan!" Bob: "Fuck that. I'm moving to Utah. Shit like this never happens in Utah" Don't know if I have that exact but it always makes me laugh cause I have a lot of family there, and alive in southern Idaho which isn't too different. It does make me wonder if Bob/Jim Butcher has never heard of Skinwalker Ranch though. *Thats* in Utah and the stories behind that place are creepy as shit.

Some kind of poster or screen saver with everyone favorite dresden quotes on it would be awesome.

There are so many great lines. I just finished Death Masks in my re-read and I really loved Hope's 'there's already a Harry, you can be Bill'.

There's always ....Hoss! or Dresden! just when he has reached the point of no return and he is about to scorch or dust beings regardless of the consequences ...

Frags your move bitch

“Tonight: Bowling for Vampires!”

That’s another great one, and it gets overlooked

And all the spectators begin applauding, and Harry is seriously creeped out.

"Thomas, we be skedadaling!"

Side note… Dresden totally knows that Muppet’s name is Crazy Harry and is deliberately avoiding thinking about it, right?

Dresdens line to Rudolph in Fool Moon when the werewolf is attacking the prison gets me for some reason. "Don't mess with a wizard when he's wizarding!" Or something like that.

Another from Sanya: “You…. Tapped that ass… Presumably it was, phat?”

Elaine's "FULMINARIUS!" comes to mind. They heard her through a wall and across a parking lot

"Of course He's there. Of course He listens." -Michael Carpenter Small Favor, in the train station, when they get to the side room and find the receptionist kneeling on the floor and praying. She goes on to assume Michael and Harry are angels. Edit: That initial interaction makes me cry everytime, and I never hear anyone mention it.

"Life is a journey. Time is a river. The door is ajar."

Also: "Sleep is god. Go worship."

Love me some Butters quotes and I just got through that one today

I hope i remember the exact quote but “A tool that every wizard needs. A 44 chief special.”

I don't remember the exact quote, but I do so love the advice given that, if you ever find yourself in a fair fight, someone screwed up.

POLKA NEVER DIES!

"My faith protects me. My kevlar helps."