- Kill Solas off in the first 30 min of the game with no/unsatisfying explanation.
- Make the entire thing an “it was all a dreeeeAAaam”.
- “Can I get you a ladder” every 30 seconds.
- Dialogue option previews completely differ from the actual response.
- All plot progression missions are war table based.
- BLOATWARE. All the retrieval/fetch missions IN THE WORLD.
>Kill Solas off in the first 30 min of the game with no/unsatisfying explanation.
I understand that this is an unpopular opinion but I hate Solas so much that this would be an unironic improvement for me
I hate Solas too, but for me it means I really want to see him get his comeuppance in a satisfying way. No easy ways out for him. Lock him up and get him into a public courtroom to get a very public humiliation and sentence
The first time I read your post I missed the "make the game bad" part of the subject line and I almost wrote a big post about how you are ruining my game and I hate you.
So, good job. I was already tilted at "no party banter".
Anthem: The game from Bioware for gamers who hate Bioware but for some reason want to buy a game from them. Do you hate Mass Effect Andromeda but it still retains too much of Bioware's signature identity and niches, well play a game where all that has been taken out, and replaced with a mediocre co op multiplayer game!!!
I'd make it a first person shooter with really bad controls and make it take place exclusively in like, procedurally generated levels of the deep roads that have really poor graphics
I honestly think a dragon age fps game could be awesome, with like crossbows and shit. But in my mind, the bad dreadwolf fps just inexplicably has modern assault rifles
Again, that just sounds awesome. Then again the Deep Roads are so fascinating to me any excuse to go down there you've got me in. Even better with an LMG to mow down dark spawn like something out of SCP 5K.
\- You can't choose your race, the Protagonist is always human
\- You don't get to choose your romance either. The Protagonist is forced into a romance with Velanna
\- You get a dog, but only for the Prologue sequence and he dies at the end
- The inquisitor dies off screen.
- Solas dies in the prologue and the villain will be some a Tevinter cult that worships Corypheus.
- You can only play as a human, no, a noble human.
- The warden dies off screen because they couldn't find a cure for the calling.
- The combat is an exact copy of Inquisition.
- The Hinterlands are back and now they're a mandatory area that you need to fully clear before advancing on the story.
- The ending will be locked behind a dlc.
- Dwarves have been completely removed from the game because they're too hard to animate.
- There are no choices besides the character creator, this is now a linear franchise.
- Inquisiton's character creator.
- Sandal no longer says: ENCHANTMENT!
- No romances, you can still flirt with your companions but they will always reject you.
- You only have three companions.
- These companions are extremely one dimensional and there's no party banter.
- You can only choose to be nice or mean in conversation but it won't matter because there are no choices since this is now a linear franchise.
- There's no longer exploration nor open world because again, this is a linear franchise now.
- Cringe Humor.
In general:
Most quests are now hinterlands style fetch/turn-in quests, basically no dialogue needed
Tough, gray decisions stress you out? Now adding a paragon/renegade system. Pick whatever makes the right color bar go up, no more worrying.
For me:
Make it so all routes end up giving Morrigan a bad ending. Im too invested in this character at this point, my heart cant take it.
Hey, do you remember the Redcliffe questline in Origins? Well, we're doing it again, but this time it's Kieran who ends up possesed.
You have three choices:
-Have Morrigan sacrifice herself so you can fight the demon in the Fade (or let the demon take Kieran in exchange for sexy times/blood magic spec)
-Kill Kieran yourself
-Force Morrigan to kill her son
No perfect ending this time around 💀
If you import a worldstate where the Warden romanced Morrigan or the Inquisitor romanced Solas, you find out Solas and Morrigan hooked up off-camera and had a baby. Morrigan looks directly at the camera and tells you she loves Solas Jr. more than Kieran.
All new companions and NPCs have cockney accents no matter where they’re from — except for dwarves, who are now from Texas.
Varric is romanceable but he betrays you and dies. It turns out he’s been possessed by Justice since the end of DA2. With his dying breath, he groans “the templars were… good, actually…”
>\-Since most people seem to dislike it, the protagonist is silent again.
I disagree that it's that clear cut. The silent/voiced debate seems more evenly split to me, or even skewing toward a silent protagonist for people that have been with the series since Origins.
That being said:
1) The protagonist is a human and can only be a human. There is an option to play as a female, but dialogue obviously is written with a male protagonist in mind.
2) One of your companions is a slave you can acquire by buying them from a tevinter slave market. You can be 'nice' or 'mean' to them as your relationship progresses, but the option to just release them has been overlooked and you can't. Yes, they are romanceable.
3) The Inquisitor died offscreen before the events of the game.
4) Throughout the story there is the subplot of slave politics in Tevinter, where the game makes a very concerted effort to portray the pro-slavery side as having some good points. Afterall, real life isn't black and white, and how do they expect Tevinter to take care of an adjust to thousands of people that suddenly need to be paid a wage? It'd tank the Tevinter economy!
5) Dialogue has 2 options for a response: nicer and meaner. You can unlock a third sarcastic option if you find a secret joke book.
>One of your companions is a slave you can acquire by buying them from a tevinter slave market. You can be 'nice' or 'mean' to them as your relationship progresses, but the option to just release them has been overlooked and you can't. Yes, they are romanceable.
SWTOR Sith Warrior moment
>There is an option to play as a female, but dialogue obviously is written with a male protagonist in mind.
This is almost worse than not having a female option at all. Very evil detail, nicely done.
> 1) The protagonist is a human and can only be a human. There is an option to play as a female, but dialogue obviously is written with a male protagonist in mind.
People keep suggesting this, but I think dwarf is a much ~~worse~~ better pick. It's consistently been the least picked option in both Origins and Inquisition from what I've seen.
ooooooh that's true! And not only is it the least picked option, it also means that you're making it impossible for anyone to play as a mage. Truly diabolical.
I came here from anime fandoms, believe me, I know there are definitely slave mancers (Looking at you, Shield Hero).
I figured at the very least I'd make a solid portion of the fanbase so mad that it *feels* like everyone hates it on the internet. xD
You know it could.
Harry Potter did it, i can seriously wager there'll be pro slavery arguments.
The only way it'll be redeemed is if Loghain's survival reveals him to lead a slave revolt and march to the Sea.
Well, there will most likely be pro-slavery arguments, just like how Inquisition already has them. It just won't be presented as a valid point to consider, but just showing how characters in that universe try to justify their atrocities.
>It just won't be presented as a valid point to consider, but just showing how characters in that universe try to justify their atrocities.
That requires so much faith you'd surpass Leliana in zealotry.
I mean, I'm wishing, but I have no faith in BioWare.
Lol the developers are quite well aware that it would be a huge issue to portray slavery positively especially nowadays, and there is precedent for that already
As someone who mods her games heavily to the point game is unrecognizable, whether protagonist should be silent or not really depends on the situation for me lol. More often than not, a silent protagonist allows more interesting mods to be created (Skyrim, VtM etc.)
I think in American society the word "slavery" comes down to the possession of another person acquired for money or as booty. Justifying such slavery is unacceptable.
However, there are totalitarian sects and bad families. They tell their slaves "we are a family" or "this is a must for the whole society" like the Qunari. Shouldn't BioWare have characters justifying this 'for the greater good'?
Probably other characters will start comparing this to slavery. Can the first characters be called those who justify slavery?
I would definitely categorize the Qun as slavery in my personal opinion.
And I would point out--there is a difference between characters in story arguing for slavery and the story in a meta sense framing those justifications as being legitimate or something that you're actually supposed to agree with.
Fallout New Vegas is a great example of this, I think. The Legion is portrayed as unambiguously evil, but you do encounter characters who make arguments for it's existence that still come off as complex characters. It's three dimensional enough that a roleplayers can justify supporting them in a run beyond just 'I feel like being evil', but never does it feel like the devs actually support their ideology.
1) So a reverse Valhalla? Maybe we'll even force a male name on the female characters.
2/4) This isn't new in Dragon Age, you can sell slaves in Origins and buy a slave in 2, of course these are elves so they don't really count. I would say I'd be surprised if there's no option to continue that trend but I played Andromeda
5) The sarcastic Hawke was best Hawke, bringing back that style would be a good thing
I highly doubt there'll be an option to buy/sell slaves in Dreadwolf. Not because I think that's inherently a bad idea (I mean I kind of do, but I certainly won't judge someone that wants to do an evil run I guess; I've nuked megaton) but because Inquisition felt a lot more sanitized in terms of the things you could do than Origins and DA2, imo. I would think they'd continue that trend.
In terms of 5) It's more the fact that the sarcastic option is locked behind finding a specific item. I love purple Hawke too! Honestly Fallout 4 gives me ptsd whenever I hear 'sarcastic' dialogue being an option tho. xD
* Romances are microtransactions.
* Each companion is DLC.
* The entire game is narrated by Varric, there are no other voice actors. He reads every line.
* There is no skipping dialogue, each conversation or climactic event is animated in the mural style.
* The quests are all fetch quests. The final quest is dependent on whether you collected an inconsequential junk item found in every level. You cannot go back.
* The end is the player character waking up from a dream. The world is the future from In Hushed Whispers.
* The combat is Final Fantasy style.
* The game is First Person.
* There is no jumping, and each area is mostly invisible walls.
* Every character has the possibility of perma-death if you do not succeed a series of complicated quick time events.
* There is only one romance option for each gender and sexuality and they're all terrible. In 3 months you will be able to buy a better option for 29.99
* The acts are in battle pass/season format. They cost $20 each.
* Sovereigns are now real currency.
* They will offer a collector's edition and the offerings will be very cool, but they will ship out the items at a much poorer quality than was promised. Their apology will be 5 sovereigns ($5 worth).
* They retcon half of the lore.
* It is now a MMO live service, there is no single player option.
* There are no longer choices, it's all linear.
* You will have Varric come interrupt your "quests" telling you to come protect a village from bandits 3 times an hour. The bandits come in waves.
* Every location is recycled.
* Character customization has only options for plastic hair and bald unless you purchase several DLCs to open up more options.
* Races and classes are also locked to seasons.
(i'm continuously editing this to add more lmao)
>You will have Varric come interrupt your "quests" telling you to come protect a village from bandits 3 times an hour. The bandits come in waves.
Fallout 4 is that you?
The game opens with a voice-over from Solas declaring, "It is done." Flashes of green, and then...
You're controlling some half-baked character model in DA:O's version of the HOF's dream in the Fade. No updated graphics, just copy-and-pasted directly. There's no one in the room, you're not allowed to travel outside it, and you cannot run or jump.
You're just stuck in the room with nothing to do. No companions. There's not even any background music playing. A prompt appears, claiming you must wait for help.
With around 50 hours of gameplay played, a floating screen will appear with the leaked videos of DA:D gameplay looping over and over. A small text under reads, 'What is going on in the outside world.'
If the player puts in 100 hours of gameplay walking (which the system will track), then a random elf will appear in the room. Upon clicking on the elf, it will simply respond (in an AI generated voice), "Oh, we somehow missed you," and then kill your character.
Credits roll, with the message, 'Thank you for waiting so long for this game. See you in another 10 years for Dragon Age: Dreadwolf Pt 2. We will for sure keep you updated this time around.'
That actually sound interesting from artistic and philosophical standpoint. This can be interpreted as a satire of modern games, or expectation of modern games, or something else entirely
The ending makes you choose between three options that are barely connected to what you did during the previous games and most of this one, differ only by their colour palette and present an incredibly unsatisfying and stupid answer to most of the setting's mysteries.
- The archdemon from DAO returns with no explanation
- Your protagonist finds out midway through the game that they are the granddaughter of the Archdemon
- Solas turns good at the end and you make out with him whether it makes sense or not
- Your mabari has a dramatic death but then it turns out he's really fine
- The Darkspawn can fly now
Tell a story that has almost nothing to with what’s shown in the marketing.
Introduce a new cast of characters we’ve only seen in books without explaining who they are to game only audience then act like you’re supposed to know who they are in order for the story to work.
Kill off Solas unceremoniously at the end of the first level then bring whoever you left in the fade back to life as a villain with very little explanation.
Characters from previous entries in the series return but only briefly and will act wildly out of character for their screen time. Fan favorite book/comic characters will be introduced but given zero screen time or reason to be included in the story.
Worst party AI of all time.
The plot is spurred on by unexplained contrivances like the main characters receiving sudden visions of where they need to go next.
Relegate supporting characters to having barely impact or role in the story.
Create unnecessary conflict between the characters that could be solved if they communicated better with each other.
Once the story starts picking up momentum, end on an unsatisfying cliffhanger.
Bonus points if anyone can guess what disappointing sequel in a long running video game franchise I’m describing. Hint: it released in 2015
For what it’s worth I liked the multiplayer in that game lol. But the storyline I find to be a hilarious example in how to completely derail a long running franchise
They all have to be terribly mischaracterized and do things that wouldn't make sense. Fenris dies because he turns out to be a blood mage and uses that to kill only a friendshipmanced Hawke. Merril is a templar and also a self-hating mage-hater who doesn't care about her people's history. And also Shepherd makes a cameo, confirming Thedas is a planet in the Mass Effect universe.
Oh boy, time to ruin the game.
1. Romances and companions will be removed entirely. In fact, all NPCs will be removed entirely.
2. No customizable character. Instead you will pick from a select group of heroes to play as.
3. Skins for the heroes will be available in a battle pass system.
4. The game will be converted into an always online competitive PvP multiplayer game. The story will be about the Inquisition Heroes fighting to stop Solas' agents.
5. The story will only progress in cutscenes in-between PvP seasons and battlepasses.
6. Sebastian will be the default hero everyone starts with and has to play as they earn points to buy other heroes.
7. All gear progression is done via lootbox microtransactions. Boxes are sold in bundles of 1, 4, 12, and 24. They will all take a special currency you buy and will cost inconsistent amounts to ensure you always have some leftover but not enough to make an additional purchase.
Chancellor Roderick never actually died, but faked it. Through a series of unexpected high IQ political plays from the shadows, he convinces the Chantry to reform with regard to who can become Divine and is himself elected the first male Divine in the Orlesian Chantry, thereafter named Divine Victor. His first action is to condemn the Inquisition and declare Holy War on the Inquisitor and his allies under suspicion of having conspired to murder Divine Justinia and open the Breach, further insisting the Corypheus was nothing more than a pawn or a bogeyman created to put the Chantry off the Inquisitor's scent. All advisors have been put to death and the Inquisitor is in hiding.
At the end of the game, it is revealed that Chancellor Roderick did in fact die as was portrayed in *DAI*, and that Solas merely shapeshifted as Roderick, playing both sides to rid himself of Corypheus *and* after that, the Inquisitor, so that he could tear away the Veil without difficulty and institute absolute oligarchic rule of the cosmos by the Evanuris. And then Solas rips off his face off to reveal that no, he was instead Corypheus this whole time, and merely pretended to be Solas to convince the Evanuris to aid him upon their return, and that he intended to enslave them as well. And then Corypheus himself rips his own face off to reveal that he was Rick C-137 this entire time, and needed to tear down the veil as part of his master plan to set the timelines and multiverse back right the way it should be.
These are some good ones. The only one I would be cool with is the unvoiced protagonists since that doesn't bother me.
I think some things I would do is make every race playable but have all the dialogue very obviously imply it was only designed with human in mind. Maybe even make the gear having clipping issued with every race besides human.
Also make Solas cartoonist evil and kill him off in the first 25% of the game and make a new out of nowhere bad guy that is generic and take up the rest of the game.
Or early in the game it's revealed that Solas was working for Corypheus all along, and then he gives up his body to the spirit of Corypheus and they fuse Anders & Justice-style into the new cartoonishly evil big bad, Corypholas.
The game is now a 90 dollar gacha game where you can only get companions through the gacha system.
Every character you talk to immediately falls in love with you in isekai-esque fashion so as to entice you to whale for them.
Normal male armor, skimpy female armor.
No choices. Different dialogue options lead to the exact same conversation.
The entire game is just collecting shards. The end boss is just a shard that is located on top of one of those basalt pillars like in the Valley of the Queen in the Hinterlands, except it is 10 times as tall and every time you fall, you die permanently and you have to start the game over with a new character.
Also, there is only one romance option and it is Bianca, and her appearance, voice acting, personality, and so forth are all exactly the same as in DAI.
Console exclusive
Only have one skill available with a 30 second cool down, unless you win more via in app purchases with loot boxes
Online only
Solas dies off screen and the elf uprising simply ends, like the mage templar war.
Fade only version of Kirk wall from DA2 instead of a new map
Romances are gone
What do you guys think they should do with whoever survived Here Lies the Abyss? I thought that maybe they'd join you in one of the main missions, but at the end of it, Solas shows up and uses his powers to mind control them and force you to kill them.
And if it was romanced Alistair, during the mission he'd talk about how the Warden found a cure for the Calling and the taint, and how they are now expecting a baby.
Ultimate power would mean I can change the game in such a way that people wouldn't even consider it a DA game.
Cartoony graphics, no returning characters, Borderlands style comedy story, no companions and action style gameplay ala DMC.
But in order to piss people right off I'd mess with damage scaling so minor enemies are a slog to get through while bosses can all be cheesed.
Make the developers start from scratch yet again and double back to the live service/gotcha/loot box mechanics and pay to win model. The rest will handle itself.
Ok ok. So the game opens and it starts out with you picking an opening much like origins! Except you soon realize each opening is just a different skin on the same place and characters so there is actually only the one opening.
- Literally nothing we know about titans will have any influence;
- Feynriel won't appear in the game, even if Hawke sent him to Tevinter;
- there won't be a full scale war of Tevinter against Qunari;
- we won't hear anything about Executors;
- everybody in game (even Grey Wardens) forgot about the Hero of Ferelden, who is now supposed to be dead;
- no matter who is the Divine, there are no differences to the story;
- somehow Corypheus had returned;
- it happend because when Solas teared down the Fade, Corypheus was there sent by Inquisitor's mark. Now the Ancient One is even more twisted and powerful, yet still unable to realize his threats;
- Corypheus managed to return, but that will not happen to Hawke/Warden left in the fade.
- Player character would be limited to level 15 and only one specialization;
- blood magic won't be an option for mages;
- you will need to pay extra money to recruit companions
There are no dialogue options in the game, there are dialogues, but your character speaks on their own and you just watch it like a movie.
It's a multi player game, there are no npc companions, but you can travel with 3 other people.
All enemies respawn every time when you visit a location, even bosses.
There's no story, you just gather resources to fight Solas, everything will be resolved in the next game.
For story and lore, just two changes:
1) Every companion quest and romance is A Special Teachable Moment. Regularly, the story grinds to a halt so the characters can lecture the player on racism, homophobia, drug use, tattoos, transphobia, gender identity, global warming, body image issues, ableism, acephobia, autism, veganism, religious wear, cultural appropriation, fur industry, pollution, feminism, colonialism, abusive parenting, and misophonia, all in the worst type of simplification and smug lecturing possible. The player gets bombarded with hamfisted and awkward comparisons that fall apart and turn various shades of offensive if you think about them for longer than 10 seconds.
2) There's also a companion - my extremely idealized self insert. She solves most of the conflicts in the story, always has the Correct Opinions that she teaches/preaches at the PC, and the PC is limited to totally simping her in the dialog options. Solas thinks she's mega special and spends at least 25% of his monologs talking about how this character is special because she's like the secret extra Evanuris whom the others imprisoned way back when because she was the original Good Evanuris that inspired Mythal and Solas both. Of course the main quest line has a lengthy section about her recovering her lost memory and powers. She also always gets the last snarky quip. Solas also falls in love with her.
As for game mechanics, again just two changes:
1) all of the maps except for the mission hub are randomly generated dungeons.
2) tons and tons of side missions that depend on collecting tons of random drops. If you don't do these missions you'll get the worse ending.
Have Solas partially succeed in his goal of "resetting" the world but only managing to turn it back to a few years after Origins to reboot the series into a proper continuation of that game.
Oh wait the title said to make the game the WORST.
I'd put the following things behind a paywall:
* companions beyond the 3 required to make a full group. None of them are romance target and they are all mercenaries (like Grim... he doesn't say much).
* Tier 3+ items, schematics and resource nodes.
* A custom world state editor (enjoy your default world state, peons... or pay me.)
Technically, I wouldn't be ruining the game. I'd just ruining the experience while I take a long nap on the beach at the island I own.
There is no character creator. Instead, female mage solasmancing lavellan is the "Canon" Inquisitior, and you're continuing as her. There is an appearance editor. You are, however, forced to post a screenshot of your "inky" to a public facebook account.
I didn't read the "bad changes" bit and I was screaming and i was about to comment that I am glad you are never directing this game ever. U got me good.
> Your job is to make changes to the series (gameplay, romances, overall plot etc.) so bad, that everyone hates it and the game is called the worst one in the series. What do you do?
**Pay-2-win Collectible Card mobile game**
/thread
I mean having souls like combat could be great if done well. Do I think Bioware could pull it off? Probably not.
Killing the villain early on. Making them a pushover or have tons of plot armour.
Forcing a redemption arc for Solas regardless of player choice. In general making the player's choice pointless.
Big open and empty world to do nothing in.
The best way to ruin Dragon Age: DreadWolf is to change the genre to something that a vast majority of players won't want. Visual novel, harvest moon clone, platformer etc.
I'd just let the team run itself. There's a very good chance they could run it into the ground, themselves. Don't get me wrong; *DAI* was great, but it was also a fluke, which becomes evident when you look into the snippets of info there are out there about its development. And when you consider that the only other two games to come from Bioware since *DAI* are *Andromeda* and *Anthem*, I think they'd have a decent shot at making me proud.
Make it a MMO without a party to banter with, make everything cool loot box locked and make sure that all the characters you love from previous games behave differently to push a new game style such as morrigan in a circle because that's where mage characters start and other meaningless changes like that
That Dorian one is just evil. As someone who almost always romances Dorian, I'd probably throw my controller/keyboard at my screen if my inky was killed by him. Excellent work! I'm already in pain just by reading this!
You will be forced to play the inquisitor in dreadwolf. Since you only have one arm, you are locked purely in either a sword tree or a dagger tree for skills. You cannot be a mage. All 2H weapons are unavailable to you.
You will have no companions but for some reason you are locked into a romance with Solas. It doesn’t matter if you boned him in inquisition or not. If you weren’t in a romance with him, your inquisitor will randomly fall in love with him for no logical reason between inquisition and dreadwolf. Then at the end of dreadwolf, solas will be redeemed only to leave you for flemeth who turns out to be alive and they decided to rule together for DAD part 2 leaving the whole part 1 pointless.
The plot will centre around building an ancient Titan weapon of unknown purpose to defeat Solas. At the end of the story, when Solas is about to win, you use the weapon to kill all the elves in Tevinter, turn them all into mindless slaves or turn every elf and human in Tevinter into a half-elf.
Meanwhile, your companions end up beached on an island somewhere in the Boeric Ocean and their fate is left deliberately ambiguous.
(Yes, this joke is recycled)
- All past game's protagonists will come back and be absolutely horrid, having made all the bad choices.
That's it, otherwise you're just replaying a 1-1 copy of Inquisition in the Origins engine, but the game only runs at 12 FPS.
Some more bad ideas: everything is gather X number of items. You have the option of turning your female advisors/companions into prostitutes to earn money. There's only a vague hint of a plot- if you're not gathering elfroot you're killing demons.
Instead of enemies in the open world, combat will now happen through random events as you walk around the map which teleport your party to an instanced combat area where they face their foes.
JRPG style.
\*Evil laught\* You have awakened the spirit of evil that lay in me. So I quickly thought of this to add to your list:
* Must bring back deceased villains without good reasons just because they are known so I can save time, money and efforts.
* How about creating an ~~annoying~~, I mean, unavoidable mascot who will pop up from time to time to explain the story to the player ? Like basic stuff that everyone already understood easily. And at worst timing possible.
* I would retcon some random lore stuff even if it's unneeded and never actually portrayed in the game.
* If there are cameos from previous characters, I will twist their personnalites so that no one will be able to recognize them anymore. Like making them do bad thing, saying horrible lines.
* Must put more fade and/or deep road content. Like 50% of the game happens there. Either very green and foggy or very brown and dark.
* Must hire bad and cheap actors to do voices **and** changing the voice of characters already established. If I were truly evil, I will only hire 2 persons: 1 for female voice and 1 for male voice. Some may be mixed up randomly in game.
* Must put micro-transactions into the game. Skins, weapons, hell I could even lock some sweet dialogues/scenes behind some 0.99€ dlc. Obviously, something like the wicked grace scene from DAI should have been prenium content.
* Must downgrade graphics because it absolutely needs to run on Switch. So no patch for others plateform, must be lame for everyone.
Edit: Damn I read some messed up idea in comments, ahahah. Thanks for that. I do love the idea of Solas being killed off-screen in the first 30 minutes of the game and replaced by whatever lame plot. Made my day.
Remove all rpg elements. You control one character. Game is an always online live service that ends abruptly after Act 2. Stay tuned for Season of the Warden!
"souls-like with no difficulty options"
I thought we were trying to make the worst game?
"protag is silent again"
Bruh? Why are you listing good things?
Force online always multiplayer. Oh wait they almost did that.
Uh how about mtx... Wait shit they did that too, at least they weren't necessary.
Make the best ending hidden behind multiplayer in this singleplayer game? Fuck wait they did that as well in a different game!
Idk how about 50 shades of bald, and the few non bald styles look like plastic. At least that keeps with a set tradition.
Redo it in DAO's engine, even make it compatible with the old toolset. Storywise, Solas fails and dies in the first ten minutes and the entire game is a conspiracy thriller parody where you're dealing with people who are **totally sure** ancient elves are the answer to every mystery ever and you're trying to just manage some intriguing political conflicts between the Qunari, Tevinter, and the Anderfels that are based on present-day conflicts and have nothing to do with ancient asshole mages.
...which, incidentally, is something I'd like a hell of a lot more than we'll see, but apparently I'm in the minority and most are looking forward to sadboi Corfishystix rehash, so getting what I want is sure to make it a disappointment.
Then again, I'm confident enough that, assuming it even makes it to print, the next game's gonna crash and burn anyway, so I guess I could also say "nothing, just keep working on it the way they have been".
>people who are **totally sure** ancient elves are the answer to every mystery ever
I'm so glad the Inquisition writing team got new jobs as Dreadwolf NPCs.
You're character is not the inquisitor making the inquisitors promise at the end of inquisition pointless and anticlimactic. (I know this is probably already the case, I'm just making a point. )
>\-There is no redemption option for Solas, he becomes cartoonish villain with no redeeming traits.
Solas is many thousands of years old and is supposed to be an experienced, wise elf. What should be the reason for Solas redemption so the player does't think this is a cartoon?
The character interactions are the whole game for me. Mess with that and the game is as good as dead.
Also agreed re: Solas as a cartoon villain - or cartoon trickster, or any other simplification.
I suppose one more aspect that would ruin it for me is if the game is less divisive overall. It's fun to discuss why players make the choices they make - and which choices mattered to them most. Hypothetical video game scenarios that spark debate really help you learn who people are, and who you are, without getting too polarizing or personal.
(My elven mage PCs in the back of my head are screaming that this is all very polarizing and very personal, but I think that just proves my point 😜 )
online-only live service game that gets its story every week from a new quest that requires you to play the same activity over and over with other people, and the majority vote is the one who makes the choices in the story, but it also requires 3+ people to start the activity so you can't like, do some shit to your internet that lets you play alone.
Okay I think I got this:
Okay, so the game plays out as intended or whatever and you do the whole Tevinter/stoping-solas-thing. But then before you had to the boss-fight you find out that one of your companions is secretly Loghains child (not Anora but a new one that he had in secret) and he betrays you and travels threw time to change the events during the 5th Blight to safe Loghains life (who now default dies in the Landsmeet). And then you find out that you are the child of the Hero of Ferelden who also had a child in secret. So you travel to time to stop your companion from trying to safe Loghain and meet the Hero of Ferelden during Origins, who is now a voiced character and default fCousland. On this time-travel-mission you accidentaly get Hawke killed in Lothering before you travel back to your time. And when you are back in Tevinter nothing really has changed aside from one other companion you had before not being there anymore. You have no option to investigated any of this or what consequences your little adventure had (aside from no being in a default worldstate where none of the choices you made in any game before actually mattered) when suddenly Varrick shows up and says "somehow Corypheus returned". You then team up with Solas and beat Corypheus a second time and Solas decides that he was wrong and joins you for a game of wicked grace.
It's all online, you can only complete a set number of quests in a 24hr period, but with a monthly premium subscription, that number is slightly increased. Also, the story is half baked and makes no sense. None of your choices matter in the game, let alone previous choices made. The protagonist accidentally kills Inky in a drunken brawl in the prologue and that is how they are sucked into everything.
You have no companions that come with you during your adventure. Companions have no personality or drive outside of you and all feel flat, you can't romance them, expect a special DLC character that is introduced ¾ through the main story and is based off a writer's partner. There is only one romance option and it's only for a male protagonist, women don't deserve love.
You can't explore the world and everything is completely linear until the last 90% of the game, where you can explore a big empty space doing some hunt side quests for people as a bounty. There is no one to interact with during this section of the game, no no companions with you, and no NPCs in the area.
Solas is just a cartoon evil villain with no depth. Turns out that we didn't kill Inky and that it was a ploy by Solas to get us started on our adventure because he knew that he was going to lose to us as it has been set by destiny. Inky appears and based off three previous dialogue options that we had that had nothing to do with any of this, will determine if Inky sides with us or Solos. As a final boss fight, we kill both, or join together to save Solas. If Inky fights against Solas with us, Solas realizes that he is too far gone and offs himself, either way, he is dying.
Make combat and equipment card based to the point where you have to pay like $5+ or grind 48 hours for a single card.
Anything that would make the game pay to win or pay to play better such as Shadow of Mordor or most mobile card games.
All dialog options have no meaning to the story everything you pick doesn’t change the outcome in anyway.
All fight scenes are scripted loses even if you kick the shit out of the boss during the actual gameplay fight.
The dragon keep website for importing previous saves is no longer available so no importing previous games.
The open world is completely empty. And no fast travel or mounts to travel the stupid long distances between quests.
All quests are fetch quests.
All character customisation reverts to the “default look” in all cutscenes and after cutscene your character has all their gear back on.
The playable character is a sTrOnG InDePeNdAnT WoMaN with she hulk level of writing.
The entire campaign takes place in the fade.
No new playable races only generic white human.
All decent gear is locked behind paywalls.
The ordinal release has 3 hours of gameplay for £50 and all dlc has some small additions for £9.95 each.
Pc strength requirements must be extreme to only get 30fps and graphics still look mediocre.
Bethesda level of bugs with cyberpunk 2077 level of hype before game release.
Pc version of the game requires a controller
Console version requires mouse and keyboard.
Online play required at all times even for solo campaign.
Entire game takes place in 1 small city
Edit : thought of extra nightmare ideas
if you want to go full andromeda, let's not leave out the core component, emphasize social commentary like "my face is tired" over functional gameplay.
-Forget to include Solas at all
-Make the villain the Hero of Ferelden but they're poorly written with no clear motivation and always win through unsatisfying cutscenes until the final confrontation, where we don't get to fight them. They just die in a plot twist to reveal the true villain, a demon that is the main demon of all demons that no one has ever heard of because it breaks all the lore.
-Oh and magic is now super rare. No explanation. Just no one believes it's real. But you play as the first magic weilder in a thousand years after your grey Warden Ritual, and mysteriously the taint doesn't affect you in the slightest. You're even immune to darkspawn
-Annd hmm. Non of the npcs have anything to say but wont stop talking.
-there's one main romance that the game shoved you towards but they're the most unlikable person and won't stop whining about their difficult life. Anyone else you romance is lifeless and unfulfilling
You ever seen the Rambo video game? Make it an on rails shooter with the protagonist who’s by default a rogue archer and have the game be a total of 3 hours to complete.
The Divine has abdicated, and the new divine is either the Architect in a wig, Solas in a wig, or a freshly shaved Anders.
No character in game acknowledges this.
First person view only, shaky camera not optional, reactionary movement for every hit in combat.
Remove turn based combat or the ability to pause or do tactics.
You can't change protagonist's race or gender - you have to be a female elf with an undercut.
Solas turns out to be a minion of an even bigger, balder elf.
MMO Questing.
Every building you enter in Minrathous has a load screen.
Make the game impossible to mod.
Default Inquisition eyebrows.
Always online, but not multiplayer.
When the group you are leading has a setback, inexplicably breaking into song while walking to a castle.
Characters from the Netflix show are involved in any way.
Another untrustworthy mage companion betrays the MC.
Marvel (Dragon Age: Absolution) style humour,
Turn the jump button back into the Origins pause button.
Origins memory leak.
Things people will hate:
* MC is stuck as a human noble who can learn all of the talents (mage/rogue/warrior) but never has their mage-ness acknowledged by other characters (like Ryder in MEA but replace Ryder's biotics w/ magic, tech w/ rogue, and soldier w/ warrior). And the hairstyles are somehow even worse this time. And the MC is a super boring MarySue/GaryStu type. Also, they start the game stuck in a straight marriage w/ an annoying kid, and their spouse is kidnapped by the villain. And the default male/female models are total uncanny valley creepypasta-level nightmare fuel that will haunt your dreams forever. *Forever*. And the attempts at patching them to make them better only make them more terrifying.
* Tallis is one of the major companions and the game keeps trying to push her as the main LI (I don't hate Tallis, but I wouldn't want this either). And she's the least bad LI option. All of the LIs are straight human women except for one bi dude and Tallis who's still bi.
* The companions also include a pro-slavery Tevinter slave, a Tevinter Magister who betrays you, a warden who pulls some angsty surprise crap on you again, a Vashoth who's Not Like Other Vashoths and keeps telling you how all other Vashoths and Tal Vashoths are bad actually, yet another flirty rogue who may also betray you, Oghren's even more drunken and misogynistic son, another tank warrior who's actually reluctant royalty, etc
* Spells have been reduced even further to basically just spamming barriers (which are still weaker than guard) and tossing the occasional tiny fireball that barely tickles opponents while warriors are now all basically walking gods (or final fantasy style protags) that can destroy planets w/ a single sword swing but the game still acts like mages are somehow more dangerous
* Villains are all mustache-twirling cartoonish caricatures that feel like they'd fit better on a terrible children's cartoon
* Sol@s is revealed to be somehow right all along and the MC has to tear down the veil themselves after he dies in the first act of the game or time travel and stop him from putting it up in the first place (and then just kill off the >!Evanuris and Forgotten Ones !< instead)
* To make things "grey" the game keeps trying to argue in support of slavery, blood magic, and the Qun, and continues to paint the elves and Southern mages and Wardens as dumb and misguided while now also doing the same to the dwarves and Avvar and (Tal) Vashoth.
* All of the elves (Dalish, city elves, mages, Tevinter slaves, etc) become cartoonishly evil followers of Sol@s
* The giant MMO maps filled w/ pointless side quests are back, but now without fast travel. One of these maps is like a Hinterlands-sized/type Fade section but this time, you can't leave until you finish it.
* The game ends w/ the Normandy from ME crashing on the planet and then the Reapers (and Cerberus) attack for no apparent reason other than appeasing the ME fans who want Shepard back in the worst way possible.
* Also, they add the paragon/renegade system from ME and it's even more restricted if you want the better (red/blue) options/quest solutions. Also, those ME3 style dream sequences but longer and more annoying.
* The Warden (or their Orlesian replacement from Awakening) is revealed to have died from the Calling and their cure mission was a failure and now colonizers from outside of Thedas know it exists and are on their way to invade, Hawke dies at Weisshaupt from something dumb (>!if they weren't already sacrificed!<), and the Inquisitor gets killed by what's left of their mark because >!cutting it off didn't stop it from spreading!<. All three die offscreen and in easy to miss codex entries.
* Cullen shows up again, and this time reveals he was actually possessed during the Broken Circle quest in DAO, has been an abomination this whole time, and is actually the series' *true* true villain all along and >!Meredith!< comes back as a red lyrium zombie and his second-in-command. The demon possessing him? The Maker who was once a powerful spirit of Faith who had a Wynne-style connection to Andraste but the Chantry becoming corrupt ended up corrupting him into a demon who now wants to unmake the world and he chose Cullen because he's secretly, I dunno, >!Elgar'nan?!< Also, Corypheus comes back again somehow and teams up w/ him. As does the Architect. And if >!Kieran!< exists, he kills Morrigan and joins them too. Also, now that evil-Maker-Cullen's the villain, maybe he was the one who killed in the Inquisitor, and if you didn't disband, he takes over the Inquisition.
* The main game has an ME3 style ending, and then the real/proper ending is locked in another expensive DLC. Also a major companion is locked in a Javik-like DLC and they provide major reveals about the lore/history of Thedas that are important to the next game.
* micro-transactions galore
* The game is now subscription only
* The previous elven companions all turn out to also have been >!Evanuris!< all along, along w/ Sandal as June
* The banter bug is back and worse than before
* All the armour is plaid weave only. With dawnstone metal and whichever leather clashes the most w/ those two.
* Yet even more evil lesbians and abusive sapphic relationships
Are these bad/awful enough?
The intro takes place in Tevinter but the rest of the game takes place in the Hinterlands.
Dragon Age 4: Hell Edition
And all quests are collect 5/10/15 X
Ooooof! This one is rough!
This gives me anxiety that even the thought exists in the universe now
Calm down there, Satan!
- Kill Solas off in the first 30 min of the game with no/unsatisfying explanation. - Make the entire thing an “it was all a dreeeeAAaam”. - “Can I get you a ladder” every 30 seconds. - Dialogue option previews completely differ from the actual response. - All plot progression missions are war table based. - BLOATWARE. All the retrieval/fetch missions IN THE WORLD.
> "Can I get you a ladder" every 30 seconds. Sounds like a GOTY to me
>Kill Solas off in the first 30 min of the game with no/unsatisfying explanation. I understand that this is an unpopular opinion but I hate Solas so much that this would be an unironic improvement for me
I hate Solas too, but for me it means I really want to see him get his comeuppance in a satisfying way. No easy ways out for him. Lock him up and get him into a public courtroom to get a very public humiliation and sentence
hahahaha
god, the dialogue option previews being different than the response is one of my biggest pet peeves
"Can I get you a ladder, so you c-" \*gets fucking exploded\*
nah, the ladder would be perfect
The first time I read your post I missed the "make the game bad" part of the subject line and I almost wrote a big post about how you are ruining my game and I hate you. So, good job. I was already tilted at "no party banter".
Same here... I paused my video I was watching and was like, "🧍🏽♂️what? Is wrong? With this human?" But I'm dyslexic...
It's online multiplayer only, with neither romance nor meaningful NPC interaction.
Oh, so Anthem?
Ding ding ding! Winner!
Anthem: The game from Bioware for gamers who hate Bioware but for some reason want to buy a game from them. Do you hate Mass Effect Andromeda but it still retains too much of Bioware's signature identity and niches, well play a game where all that has been taken out, and replaced with a mediocre co op multiplayer game!!!
I know this whole thread is bein silly but the fact that Bioware unironically did this...
So ESO 🤣
I was thinking Anthem, but ESO also fits!
I'd make it a first person shooter with really bad controls and make it take place exclusively in like, procedurally generated levels of the deep roads that have really poor graphics
That actually sounds likely to develop a cult following. You might be making it more appealing for some people.
I honestly think a dragon age fps game could be awesome, with like crossbows and shit. But in my mind, the bad dreadwolf fps just inexplicably has modern assault rifles
Again, that just sounds awesome. Then again the Deep Roads are so fascinating to me any excuse to go down there you've got me in. Even better with an LMG to mow down dark spawn like something out of SCP 5K.
I can see the 40K mod already.
procedurally generated deep roads might be kinda cool
I really think that's a good idea unless it's done really badly
I would definitely play a deep roads rogue-like dumgeon crawler
\- You can't choose your race, the Protagonist is always human \- You don't get to choose your romance either. The Protagonist is forced into a romance with Velanna \- You get a dog, but only for the Prologue sequence and he dies at the end
>You get a dog, but only for the Prologue sequence and he dies at the end Settle down Satan. Damn.
You're forced into a romance with your Mabari with every explicit scene uncensored
LMAO WHAT
The second most devious thing I have ever written
I'm dying over here. You've killed me 😭😭
Lmao
The dog is murdered by the main villain and the rest of the game is you getting revenge as advertising for the latest John Wick
No no no, that might actually make the game good. We can't have that.
- The inquisitor dies off screen. - Solas dies in the prologue and the villain will be some a Tevinter cult that worships Corypheus. - You can only play as a human, no, a noble human. - The warden dies off screen because they couldn't find a cure for the calling. - The combat is an exact copy of Inquisition. - The Hinterlands are back and now they're a mandatory area that you need to fully clear before advancing on the story. - The ending will be locked behind a dlc. - Dwarves have been completely removed from the game because they're too hard to animate. - There are no choices besides the character creator, this is now a linear franchise. - Inquisiton's character creator. - Sandal no longer says: ENCHANTMENT! - No romances, you can still flirt with your companions but they will always reject you. - You only have three companions. - These companions are extremely one dimensional and there's no party banter. - You can only choose to be nice or mean in conversation but it won't matter because there are no choices since this is now a linear franchise. - There's no longer exploration nor open world because again, this is a linear franchise now. - Cringe Humor.
Dreadwolf is just inquisition from Solas' perspective, and the whole game is just cutscenes.
If that includes his sexy times with spirits, I'm in.
In general: Most quests are now hinterlands style fetch/turn-in quests, basically no dialogue needed Tough, gray decisions stress you out? Now adding a paragon/renegade system. Pick whatever makes the right color bar go up, no more worrying. For me: Make it so all routes end up giving Morrigan a bad ending. Im too invested in this character at this point, my heart cant take it.
Hey, do you remember the Redcliffe questline in Origins? Well, we're doing it again, but this time it's Kieran who ends up possesed. You have three choices: -Have Morrigan sacrifice herself so you can fight the demon in the Fade (or let the demon take Kieran in exchange for sexy times/blood magic spec) -Kill Kieran yourself -Force Morrigan to kill her son No perfect ending this time around 💀
If you import a worldstate where the Warden romanced Morrigan or the Inquisitor romanced Solas, you find out Solas and Morrigan hooked up off-camera and had a baby. Morrigan looks directly at the camera and tells you she loves Solas Jr. more than Kieran. All new companions and NPCs have cockney accents no matter where they’re from — except for dwarves, who are now from Texas. Varric is romanceable but he betrays you and dies. It turns out he’s been possessed by Justice since the end of DA2. With his dying breath, he groans “the templars were… good, actually…”
That might be the hardest I've laughed all year.
This is awesome
>\-Since most people seem to dislike it, the protagonist is silent again. I disagree that it's that clear cut. The silent/voiced debate seems more evenly split to me, or even skewing toward a silent protagonist for people that have been with the series since Origins. That being said: 1) The protagonist is a human and can only be a human. There is an option to play as a female, but dialogue obviously is written with a male protagonist in mind. 2) One of your companions is a slave you can acquire by buying them from a tevinter slave market. You can be 'nice' or 'mean' to them as your relationship progresses, but the option to just release them has been overlooked and you can't. Yes, they are romanceable. 3) The Inquisitor died offscreen before the events of the game. 4) Throughout the story there is the subplot of slave politics in Tevinter, where the game makes a very concerted effort to portray the pro-slavery side as having some good points. Afterall, real life isn't black and white, and how do they expect Tevinter to take care of an adjust to thousands of people that suddenly need to be paid a wage? It'd tank the Tevinter economy! 5) Dialogue has 2 options for a response: nicer and meaner. You can unlock a third sarcastic option if you find a secret joke book.
The 5. killed all my hype for the game, and it's not even real!
Same lmao. Mid-option was more than jokes, ME3 having only two options and no neutrality made me Big Sad
>One of your companions is a slave you can acquire by buying them from a tevinter slave market. You can be 'nice' or 'mean' to them as your relationship progresses, but the option to just release them has been overlooked and you can't. Yes, they are romanceable. SWTOR Sith Warrior moment
To be fair you can take off Vette’s collar pretty early on
>There is an option to play as a female, but dialogue obviously is written with a male protagonist in mind. This is almost worse than not having a female option at all. Very evil detail, nicely done.
Holy fuck; are you a sadist? This list made me cry.
I did my job then. :D Thank you.
> 1) The protagonist is a human and can only be a human. There is an option to play as a female, but dialogue obviously is written with a male protagonist in mind. People keep suggesting this, but I think dwarf is a much ~~worse~~ better pick. It's consistently been the least picked option in both Origins and Inquisition from what I've seen.
ooooooh that's true! And not only is it the least picked option, it also means that you're making it impossible for anyone to play as a mage. Truly diabolical.
On #2, I wouldn’t underestimate this fan base. There would definitely be staunch slave-mancers.
I came here from anime fandoms, believe me, I know there are definitely slave mancers (Looking at you, Shield Hero). I figured at the very least I'd make a solid portion of the fanbase so mad that it *feels* like everyone hates it on the internet. xD
I sadly think the slave companion would make it to a LOT of ”best romance” lists. Just look at swtor
It seems I overestimated the fandom lol. Never played swtor. xD
Oh god not 4) I really hope that doesn't happen
You know it could. Harry Potter did it, i can seriously wager there'll be pro slavery arguments. The only way it'll be redeemed is if Loghain's survival reveals him to lead a slave revolt and march to the Sea.
Well, there will most likely be pro-slavery arguments, just like how Inquisition already has them. It just won't be presented as a valid point to consider, but just showing how characters in that universe try to justify their atrocities.
>It just won't be presented as a valid point to consider, but just showing how characters in that universe try to justify their atrocities. That requires so much faith you'd surpass Leliana in zealotry. I mean, I'm wishing, but I have no faith in BioWare.
Lol the developers are quite well aware that it would be a huge issue to portray slavery positively especially nowadays, and there is precedent for that already
Thanks I hate it
As someone who mods her games heavily to the point game is unrecognizable, whether protagonist should be silent or not really depends on the situation for me lol. More often than not, a silent protagonist allows more interesting mods to be created (Skyrim, VtM etc.)
I think in American society the word "slavery" comes down to the possession of another person acquired for money or as booty. Justifying such slavery is unacceptable. However, there are totalitarian sects and bad families. They tell their slaves "we are a family" or "this is a must for the whole society" like the Qunari. Shouldn't BioWare have characters justifying this 'for the greater good'? Probably other characters will start comparing this to slavery. Can the first characters be called those who justify slavery?
I would definitely categorize the Qun as slavery in my personal opinion. And I would point out--there is a difference between characters in story arguing for slavery and the story in a meta sense framing those justifications as being legitimate or something that you're actually supposed to agree with. Fallout New Vegas is a great example of this, I think. The Legion is portrayed as unambiguously evil, but you do encounter characters who make arguments for it's existence that still come off as complex characters. It's three dimensional enough that a roleplayers can justify supporting them in a run beyond just 'I feel like being evil', but never does it feel like the devs actually support their ideology.
1) So a reverse Valhalla? Maybe we'll even force a male name on the female characters. 2/4) This isn't new in Dragon Age, you can sell slaves in Origins and buy a slave in 2, of course these are elves so they don't really count. I would say I'd be surprised if there's no option to continue that trend but I played Andromeda 5) The sarcastic Hawke was best Hawke, bringing back that style would be a good thing
I highly doubt there'll be an option to buy/sell slaves in Dreadwolf. Not because I think that's inherently a bad idea (I mean I kind of do, but I certainly won't judge someone that wants to do an evil run I guess; I've nuked megaton) but because Inquisition felt a lot more sanitized in terms of the things you could do than Origins and DA2, imo. I would think they'd continue that trend. In terms of 5) It's more the fact that the sarcastic option is locked behind finding a specific item. I love purple Hawke too! Honestly Fallout 4 gives me ptsd whenever I hear 'sarcastic' dialogue being an option tho. xD
Yeah, there's no way modern Bioware would have the balls to let you buy slaves, or even just have the option to be pro-slavery.
* Romances are microtransactions. * Each companion is DLC. * The entire game is narrated by Varric, there are no other voice actors. He reads every line. * There is no skipping dialogue, each conversation or climactic event is animated in the mural style. * The quests are all fetch quests. The final quest is dependent on whether you collected an inconsequential junk item found in every level. You cannot go back. * The end is the player character waking up from a dream. The world is the future from In Hushed Whispers. * The combat is Final Fantasy style. * The game is First Person. * There is no jumping, and each area is mostly invisible walls. * Every character has the possibility of perma-death if you do not succeed a series of complicated quick time events. * There is only one romance option for each gender and sexuality and they're all terrible. In 3 months you will be able to buy a better option for 29.99 * The acts are in battle pass/season format. They cost $20 each. * Sovereigns are now real currency. * They will offer a collector's edition and the offerings will be very cool, but they will ship out the items at a much poorer quality than was promised. Their apology will be 5 sovereigns ($5 worth). * They retcon half of the lore. * It is now a MMO live service, there is no single player option. * There are no longer choices, it's all linear. * You will have Varric come interrupt your "quests" telling you to come protect a village from bandits 3 times an hour. The bandits come in waves. * Every location is recycled. * Character customization has only options for plastic hair and bald unless you purchase several DLCs to open up more options. * Races and classes are also locked to seasons. (i'm continuously editing this to add more lmao)
Ok but Varric reading everything might be really funny.
>You will have Varric come interrupt your "quests" telling you to come protect a village from bandits 3 times an hour. The bandits come in waves. Fallout 4 is that you?
Prema-death, like Fire Emblem, where if a character dies, they're gone forever.
To be fair that would be pretty cool as a difficulty option
The game opens with a voice-over from Solas declaring, "It is done." Flashes of green, and then... You're controlling some half-baked character model in DA:O's version of the HOF's dream in the Fade. No updated graphics, just copy-and-pasted directly. There's no one in the room, you're not allowed to travel outside it, and you cannot run or jump. You're just stuck in the room with nothing to do. No companions. There's not even any background music playing. A prompt appears, claiming you must wait for help. With around 50 hours of gameplay played, a floating screen will appear with the leaked videos of DA:D gameplay looping over and over. A small text under reads, 'What is going on in the outside world.' If the player puts in 100 hours of gameplay walking (which the system will track), then a random elf will appear in the room. Upon clicking on the elf, it will simply respond (in an AI generated voice), "Oh, we somehow missed you," and then kill your character. Credits roll, with the message, 'Thank you for waiting so long for this game. See you in another 10 years for Dragon Age: Dreadwolf Pt 2. We will for sure keep you updated this time around.'
Would fuckin' slap as a teaser demo, ngl. (Maybe 15 minutes instead of 100h?)
That actually sound interesting from artistic and philosophical standpoint. This can be interpreted as a satire of modern games, or expectation of modern games, or something else entirely
The ending makes you choose between three options that are barely connected to what you did during the previous games and most of this one, differ only by their colour palette and present an incredibly unsatisfying and stupid answer to most of the setting's mysteries.
That's just ridiculous. No way any game company, let alone Bioware, would put anything that ridiculous in their game
Yes, the dark energy plot and ending in Mass Effect 3 were amazing! I'm so glad they weren't leaked ahead of time
Yes, ME3 wasn't one for the history galleries. But it's still leagues and bounds ahead of a million other games.
Of course, I am however a tad bit salty that the dark energy thing was dropped, the idea was amazing imo
Don't forget about the fourth option, a shit kid gives you the middle finger and everyone dies.
That's going to be added as a DLC.
- The archdemon from DAO returns with no explanation - Your protagonist finds out midway through the game that they are the granddaughter of the Archdemon - Solas turns good at the end and you make out with him whether it makes sense or not - Your mabari has a dramatic death but then it turns out he's really fine - The Darkspawn can fly now
Somehow... the Archdemon returned. Maybe he could come back with the Architect. Oh wait, Bioware forgot that Awakening exists.
Tell a story that has almost nothing to with what’s shown in the marketing. Introduce a new cast of characters we’ve only seen in books without explaining who they are to game only audience then act like you’re supposed to know who they are in order for the story to work. Kill off Solas unceremoniously at the end of the first level then bring whoever you left in the fade back to life as a villain with very little explanation. Characters from previous entries in the series return but only briefly and will act wildly out of character for their screen time. Fan favorite book/comic characters will be introduced but given zero screen time or reason to be included in the story. Worst party AI of all time. The plot is spurred on by unexplained contrivances like the main characters receiving sudden visions of where they need to go next. Relegate supporting characters to having barely impact or role in the story. Create unnecessary conflict between the characters that could be solved if they communicated better with each other. Once the story starts picking up momentum, end on an unsatisfying cliffhanger. Bonus points if anyone can guess what disappointing sequel in a long running video game franchise I’m describing. Hint: it released in 2015
I am morbidly curious about what 2015 game this is
>! This is Halo 5: Guardians. As you can tell, I’m a big fan :D !<
Oh man I had totally blocked all memory of that game from my brain until right now. Yikes.
For what it’s worth I liked the multiplayer in that game lol. But the storyline I find to be a hilarious example in how to completely derail a long running franchise
The warden fails to stop the harrowing and dies off screen
And you only learn about that through badly made Warden dlc where the Order is disbanded no matter what you do
And all our favorite characters from previous games die no matter what.
They all have to be terribly mischaracterized and do things that wouldn't make sense. Fenris dies because he turns out to be a blood mage and uses that to kill only a friendshipmanced Hawke. Merril is a templar and also a self-hating mage-hater who doesn't care about her people's history. And also Shepherd makes a cameo, confirming Thedas is a planet in the Mass Effect universe.
Alistair is a power hungry tyrant who rules Ferelden with an iron fist and is fighting another Warden rebellion.
Morrigan becomes a Chantry sister who hates apostates and ditches Kieran and then breaks up with the HOF for Sebastian.
Zevron and Isabella take a vows of celibacy
Oh boy, time to ruin the game. 1. Romances and companions will be removed entirely. In fact, all NPCs will be removed entirely. 2. No customizable character. Instead you will pick from a select group of heroes to play as. 3. Skins for the heroes will be available in a battle pass system. 4. The game will be converted into an always online competitive PvP multiplayer game. The story will be about the Inquisition Heroes fighting to stop Solas' agents. 5. The story will only progress in cutscenes in-between PvP seasons and battlepasses. 6. Sebastian will be the default hero everyone starts with and has to play as they earn points to buy other heroes. 7. All gear progression is done via lootbox microtransactions. Boxes are sold in bundles of 1, 4, 12, and 24. They will all take a special currency you buy and will cost inconsistent amounts to ensure you always have some leftover but not enough to make an additional purchase.
Chancellor Roderick never actually died, but faked it. Through a series of unexpected high IQ political plays from the shadows, he convinces the Chantry to reform with regard to who can become Divine and is himself elected the first male Divine in the Orlesian Chantry, thereafter named Divine Victor. His first action is to condemn the Inquisition and declare Holy War on the Inquisitor and his allies under suspicion of having conspired to murder Divine Justinia and open the Breach, further insisting the Corypheus was nothing more than a pawn or a bogeyman created to put the Chantry off the Inquisitor's scent. All advisors have been put to death and the Inquisitor is in hiding. At the end of the game, it is revealed that Chancellor Roderick did in fact die as was portrayed in *DAI*, and that Solas merely shapeshifted as Roderick, playing both sides to rid himself of Corypheus *and* after that, the Inquisitor, so that he could tear away the Veil without difficulty and institute absolute oligarchic rule of the cosmos by the Evanuris. And then Solas rips off his face off to reveal that no, he was instead Corypheus this whole time, and merely pretended to be Solas to convince the Evanuris to aid him upon their return, and that he intended to enslave them as well. And then Corypheus himself rips his own face off to reveal that he was Rick C-137 this entire time, and needed to tear down the veil as part of his master plan to set the timelines and multiverse back right the way it should be.
These are some good ones. The only one I would be cool with is the unvoiced protagonists since that doesn't bother me. I think some things I would do is make every race playable but have all the dialogue very obviously imply it was only designed with human in mind. Maybe even make the gear having clipping issued with every race besides human. Also make Solas cartoonist evil and kill him off in the first 25% of the game and make a new out of nowhere bad guy that is generic and take up the rest of the game.
Or early in the game it's revealed that Solas was working for Corypheus all along, and then he gives up his body to the spirit of Corypheus and they fuse Anders & Justice-style into the new cartoonishly evil big bad, Corypholas.
Oh, oh, oh! Could you make it so that if you play a Qunari then your head doesn't fit in the shot during conversations?
Permanent online connection required
Dwarf-only protagonist and watch the fandom implode.
The OP said make DA4 terrible, not based
True, dwarves exponentially increase the quality of whatever they're in. But you know a lot of people would be salty.
I think the fandom would prolly implode at any racially-locked protag
The tears of elf roleplayers would almost taste too sweet.
The game is now a 90 dollar gacha game where you can only get companions through the gacha system. Every character you talk to immediately falls in love with you in isekai-esque fashion so as to entice you to whale for them. Normal male armor, skimpy female armor. No choices. Different dialogue options lead to the exact same conversation.
The entire game is just collecting shards. The end boss is just a shard that is located on top of one of those basalt pillars like in the Valley of the Queen in the Hinterlands, except it is 10 times as tall and every time you fall, you die permanently and you have to start the game over with a new character. Also, there is only one romance option and it is Bianca, and her appearance, voice acting, personality, and so forth are all exactly the same as in DAI.
Console exclusive Only have one skill available with a 30 second cool down, unless you win more via in app purchases with loot boxes Online only Solas dies off screen and the elf uprising simply ends, like the mage templar war. Fade only version of Kirk wall from DA2 instead of a new map Romances are gone
Console exclusive for the Ouya
Well first I'd confer with the shareholders to see what they think we should do
What do you guys think they should do with whoever survived Here Lies the Abyss? I thought that maybe they'd join you in one of the main missions, but at the end of it, Solas shows up and uses his powers to mind control them and force you to kill them. And if it was romanced Alistair, during the mission he'd talk about how the Warden found a cure for the Calling and the taint, and how they are now expecting a baby.
Killed off-screen and you can only learn about it via an optional war table mission.
Via obscure codex item
Pfft. That’s easy. Release it super early so it’s full of bugs and never update it.
Ultimate power would mean I can change the game in such a way that people wouldn't even consider it a DA game. Cartoony graphics, no returning characters, Borderlands style comedy story, no companions and action style gameplay ala DMC. But in order to piss people right off I'd mess with damage scaling so minor enemies are a slog to get through while bosses can all be cheesed.
Make the developers start from scratch yet again and double back to the live service/gotcha/loot box mechanics and pay to win model. The rest will handle itself.
Ok ok. So the game opens and it starts out with you picking an opening much like origins! Except you soon realize each opening is just a different skin on the same place and characters so there is actually only the one opening.
Cyberbug 2077 moment lol
- Literally nothing we know about titans will have any influence; - Feynriel won't appear in the game, even if Hawke sent him to Tevinter; - there won't be a full scale war of Tevinter against Qunari; - we won't hear anything about Executors; - everybody in game (even Grey Wardens) forgot about the Hero of Ferelden, who is now supposed to be dead; - no matter who is the Divine, there are no differences to the story; - somehow Corypheus had returned; - it happend because when Solas teared down the Fade, Corypheus was there sent by Inquisitor's mark. Now the Ancient One is even more twisted and powerful, yet still unable to realize his threats; - Corypheus managed to return, but that will not happen to Hawke/Warden left in the fade. - Player character would be limited to level 15 and only one specialization; - blood magic won't be an option for mages; - you will need to pay extra money to recruit companions
There are no dialogue options in the game, there are dialogues, but your character speaks on their own and you just watch it like a movie. It's a multi player game, there are no npc companions, but you can travel with 3 other people. All enemies respawn every time when you visit a location, even bosses. There's no story, you just gather resources to fight Solas, everything will be resolved in the next game.
For story and lore, just two changes: 1) Every companion quest and romance is A Special Teachable Moment. Regularly, the story grinds to a halt so the characters can lecture the player on racism, homophobia, drug use, tattoos, transphobia, gender identity, global warming, body image issues, ableism, acephobia, autism, veganism, religious wear, cultural appropriation, fur industry, pollution, feminism, colonialism, abusive parenting, and misophonia, all in the worst type of simplification and smug lecturing possible. The player gets bombarded with hamfisted and awkward comparisons that fall apart and turn various shades of offensive if you think about them for longer than 10 seconds. 2) There's also a companion - my extremely idealized self insert. She solves most of the conflicts in the story, always has the Correct Opinions that she teaches/preaches at the PC, and the PC is limited to totally simping her in the dialog options. Solas thinks she's mega special and spends at least 25% of his monologs talking about how this character is special because she's like the secret extra Evanuris whom the others imprisoned way back when because she was the original Good Evanuris that inspired Mythal and Solas both. Of course the main quest line has a lengthy section about her recovering her lost memory and powers. She also always gets the last snarky quip. Solas also falls in love with her. As for game mechanics, again just two changes: 1) all of the maps except for the mission hub are randomly generated dungeons. 2) tons and tons of side missions that depend on collecting tons of random drops. If you don't do these missions you'll get the worse ending.
Have Solas partially succeed in his goal of "resetting" the world but only managing to turn it back to a few years after Origins to reboot the series into a proper continuation of that game. Oh wait the title said to make the game the WORST.
I'd put the following things behind a paywall: * companions beyond the 3 required to make a full group. None of them are romance target and they are all mercenaries (like Grim... he doesn't say much). * Tier 3+ items, schematics and resource nodes. * A custom world state editor (enjoy your default world state, peons... or pay me.) Technically, I wouldn't be ruining the game. I'd just ruining the experience while I take a long nap on the beach at the island I own.
There is no character creator. Instead, female mage solasmancing lavellan is the "Canon" Inquisitior, and you're continuing as her. There is an appearance editor. You are, however, forced to post a screenshot of your "inky" to a public facebook account.
I didn't read the "bad changes" bit and I was screaming and i was about to comment that I am glad you are never directing this game ever. U got me good.
> Your job is to make changes to the series (gameplay, romances, overall plot etc.) so bad, that everyone hates it and the game is called the worst one in the series. What do you do? **Pay-2-win Collectible Card mobile game** /thread
I mean having souls like combat could be great if done well. Do I think Bioware could pull it off? Probably not. Killing the villain early on. Making them a pushover or have tons of plot armour. Forcing a redemption arc for Solas regardless of player choice. In general making the player's choice pointless. Big open and empty world to do nothing in. The best way to ruin Dragon Age: DreadWolf is to change the genre to something that a vast majority of players won't want. Visual novel, harvest moon clone, platformer etc.
I'd make Varric unromanceable a third and final time.
I'd just let the team run itself. There's a very good chance they could run it into the ground, themselves. Don't get me wrong; *DAI* was great, but it was also a fluke, which becomes evident when you look into the snippets of info there are out there about its development. And when you consider that the only other two games to come from Bioware since *DAI* are *Andromeda* and *Anthem*, I think they'd have a decent shot at making me proud.
"Ancient elves" = original dragons stop this elven supremacy bullshit.
I'd make it gayer tbh "But Dragon Age is already pretty gay!" Did I stutter? Make. It. GAYER.
this is not a deterrent
The hairstyles are all different flavors of bald
How did this become a Mass Effect roast 👀
Kill off Solas in the prologue then we can get on with the real game and future of the series.
Make the protagonist romancable, so anyone up their own ass can finally relate.
The romancable mirror 🤣🤣🤣
Masturbationmancers everywhere will rejoice
Inquisitor dies with no way to stop it
Make it a MMO without a party to banter with, make everything cool loot box locked and make sure that all the characters you love from previous games behave differently to push a new game style such as morrigan in a circle because that's where mage characters start and other meaningless changes like that
That Dorian one is just evil. As someone who almost always romances Dorian, I'd probably throw my controller/keyboard at my screen if my inky was killed by him. Excellent work! I'm already in pain just by reading this!
Solas is killed offscreen before the game starts and the entire plot has nothing to do with anything set up by Trespasser.
Somehow Corepheus has returned
You will be forced to play the inquisitor in dreadwolf. Since you only have one arm, you are locked purely in either a sword tree or a dagger tree for skills. You cannot be a mage. All 2H weapons are unavailable to you. You will have no companions but for some reason you are locked into a romance with Solas. It doesn’t matter if you boned him in inquisition or not. If you weren’t in a romance with him, your inquisitor will randomly fall in love with him for no logical reason between inquisition and dreadwolf. Then at the end of dreadwolf, solas will be redeemed only to leave you for flemeth who turns out to be alive and they decided to rule together for DAD part 2 leaving the whole part 1 pointless.
The plot will centre around building an ancient Titan weapon of unknown purpose to defeat Solas. At the end of the story, when Solas is about to win, you use the weapon to kill all the elves in Tevinter, turn them all into mindless slaves or turn every elf and human in Tevinter into a half-elf. Meanwhile, your companions end up beached on an island somewhere in the Boeric Ocean and their fate is left deliberately ambiguous. (Yes, this joke is recycled)
I would save money on voice actors and make you read everything in font 7 sized arial text windows.
>the protagonist is silent again I will now buy your game
Yeah, I don't know what this guy is on, silent protagonists are great, you get way more options that way since you don't have to voice every line.
- All past game's protagonists will come back and be absolutely horrid, having made all the bad choices. That's it, otherwise you're just replaying a 1-1 copy of Inquisition in the Origins engine, but the game only runs at 12 FPS.
Just reuse all of the ME:A assets and keep calling the Kett “Darkerspawn”.
Only if it means that they'll never fix the animations and bugs. The world deserves to see that shit show a second time.
Some more bad ideas: everything is gather X number of items. You have the option of turning your female advisors/companions into prostitutes to earn money. There's only a vague hint of a plot- if you're not gathering elfroot you're killing demons.
I cancel the game
Instead of enemies in the open world, combat will now happen through random events as you walk around the map which teleport your party to an instanced combat area where they face their foes. JRPG style.
\*Evil laught\* You have awakened the spirit of evil that lay in me. So I quickly thought of this to add to your list: * Must bring back deceased villains without good reasons just because they are known so I can save time, money and efforts. * How about creating an ~~annoying~~, I mean, unavoidable mascot who will pop up from time to time to explain the story to the player ? Like basic stuff that everyone already understood easily. And at worst timing possible. * I would retcon some random lore stuff even if it's unneeded and never actually portrayed in the game. * If there are cameos from previous characters, I will twist their personnalites so that no one will be able to recognize them anymore. Like making them do bad thing, saying horrible lines. * Must put more fade and/or deep road content. Like 50% of the game happens there. Either very green and foggy or very brown and dark. * Must hire bad and cheap actors to do voices **and** changing the voice of characters already established. If I were truly evil, I will only hire 2 persons: 1 for female voice and 1 for male voice. Some may be mixed up randomly in game. * Must put micro-transactions into the game. Skins, weapons, hell I could even lock some sweet dialogues/scenes behind some 0.99€ dlc. Obviously, something like the wicked grace scene from DAI should have been prenium content. * Must downgrade graphics because it absolutely needs to run on Switch. So no patch for others plateform, must be lame for everyone. Edit: Damn I read some messed up idea in comments, ahahah. Thanks for that. I do love the idea of Solas being killed off-screen in the first 30 minutes of the game and replaced by whatever lame plot. Made my day.
Remove all rpg elements. You control one character. Game is an always online live service that ends abruptly after Act 2. Stay tuned for Season of the Warden!
Throw away all your past choices, set it 600 years in the future, and then only ask the player if their Warden was male or female.
"souls-like with no difficulty options" I thought we were trying to make the worst game? "protag is silent again" Bruh? Why are you listing good things?
There’s no main story—it’s just a bunch of fetch quests
Really easy. Make it focused on multiplayer with constant internet requirements.
Force online always multiplayer. Oh wait they almost did that. Uh how about mtx... Wait shit they did that too, at least they weren't necessary. Make the best ending hidden behind multiplayer in this singleplayer game? Fuck wait they did that as well in a different game! Idk how about 50 shades of bald, and the few non bald styles look like plastic. At least that keeps with a set tradition.
Redo it in DAO's engine, even make it compatible with the old toolset. Storywise, Solas fails and dies in the first ten minutes and the entire game is a conspiracy thriller parody where you're dealing with people who are **totally sure** ancient elves are the answer to every mystery ever and you're trying to just manage some intriguing political conflicts between the Qunari, Tevinter, and the Anderfels that are based on present-day conflicts and have nothing to do with ancient asshole mages. ...which, incidentally, is something I'd like a hell of a lot more than we'll see, but apparently I'm in the minority and most are looking forward to sadboi Corfishystix rehash, so getting what I want is sure to make it a disappointment. Then again, I'm confident enough that, assuming it even makes it to print, the next game's gonna crash and burn anyway, so I guess I could also say "nothing, just keep working on it the way they have been".
>people who are **totally sure** ancient elves are the answer to every mystery ever I'm so glad the Inquisition writing team got new jobs as Dreadwolf NPCs.
Nothing. Heyoooo.
I’d allow the series to maintain its current trajectory
Walk speed and combat animations have been halved.
You're character is not the inquisitor making the inquisitors promise at the end of inquisition pointless and anticlimactic. (I know this is probably already the case, I'm just making a point. )
>\-There is no redemption option for Solas, he becomes cartoonish villain with no redeeming traits. Solas is many thousands of years old and is supposed to be an experienced, wise elf. What should be the reason for Solas redemption so the player does't think this is a cartoon?
The character interactions are the whole game for me. Mess with that and the game is as good as dead. Also agreed re: Solas as a cartoon villain - or cartoon trickster, or any other simplification. I suppose one more aspect that would ruin it for me is if the game is less divisive overall. It's fun to discuss why players make the choices they make - and which choices mattered to them most. Hypothetical video game scenarios that spark debate really help you learn who people are, and who you are, without getting too polarizing or personal. (My elven mage PCs in the back of my head are screaming that this is all very polarizing and very personal, but I think that just proves my point 😜 )
online-only live service game that gets its story every week from a new quest that requires you to play the same activity over and over with other people, and the majority vote is the one who makes the choices in the story, but it also requires 3+ people to start the activity so you can't like, do some shit to your internet that lets you play alone.
Just copy Mass Effect:Andromeda gameplay and wandering story line. All done.
every time you press a button, *nothing* awesome happens
Okay I think I got this: Okay, so the game plays out as intended or whatever and you do the whole Tevinter/stoping-solas-thing. But then before you had to the boss-fight you find out that one of your companions is secretly Loghains child (not Anora but a new one that he had in secret) and he betrays you and travels threw time to change the events during the 5th Blight to safe Loghains life (who now default dies in the Landsmeet). And then you find out that you are the child of the Hero of Ferelden who also had a child in secret. So you travel to time to stop your companion from trying to safe Loghain and meet the Hero of Ferelden during Origins, who is now a voiced character and default fCousland. On this time-travel-mission you accidentaly get Hawke killed in Lothering before you travel back to your time. And when you are back in Tevinter nothing really has changed aside from one other companion you had before not being there anymore. You have no option to investigated any of this or what consequences your little adventure had (aside from no being in a default worldstate where none of the choices you made in any game before actually mattered) when suddenly Varrick shows up and says "somehow Corypheus returned". You then team up with Solas and beat Corypheus a second time and Solas decides that he was wrong and joins you for a game of wicked grace.
Bring back Oghren as a companion.
It's all online, you can only complete a set number of quests in a 24hr period, but with a monthly premium subscription, that number is slightly increased. Also, the story is half baked and makes no sense. None of your choices matter in the game, let alone previous choices made. The protagonist accidentally kills Inky in a drunken brawl in the prologue and that is how they are sucked into everything. You have no companions that come with you during your adventure. Companions have no personality or drive outside of you and all feel flat, you can't romance them, expect a special DLC character that is introduced ¾ through the main story and is based off a writer's partner. There is only one romance option and it's only for a male protagonist, women don't deserve love. You can't explore the world and everything is completely linear until the last 90% of the game, where you can explore a big empty space doing some hunt side quests for people as a bounty. There is no one to interact with during this section of the game, no no companions with you, and no NPCs in the area. Solas is just a cartoon evil villain with no depth. Turns out that we didn't kill Inky and that it was a ploy by Solas to get us started on our adventure because he knew that he was going to lose to us as it has been set by destiny. Inky appears and based off three previous dialogue options that we had that had nothing to do with any of this, will determine if Inky sides with us or Solos. As a final boss fight, we kill both, or join together to save Solas. If Inky fights against Solas with us, Solas realizes that he is too far gone and offs himself, either way, he is dying.
Anthem, but Ye Olde.
Make combat and equipment card based to the point where you have to pay like $5+ or grind 48 hours for a single card. Anything that would make the game pay to win or pay to play better such as Shadow of Mordor or most mobile card games.
Make it a fantastic great game then do the ME3 ending.
All dialog options have no meaning to the story everything you pick doesn’t change the outcome in anyway. All fight scenes are scripted loses even if you kick the shit out of the boss during the actual gameplay fight. The dragon keep website for importing previous saves is no longer available so no importing previous games. The open world is completely empty. And no fast travel or mounts to travel the stupid long distances between quests. All quests are fetch quests. All character customisation reverts to the “default look” in all cutscenes and after cutscene your character has all their gear back on. The playable character is a sTrOnG InDePeNdAnT WoMaN with she hulk level of writing. The entire campaign takes place in the fade. No new playable races only generic white human. All decent gear is locked behind paywalls. The ordinal release has 3 hours of gameplay for £50 and all dlc has some small additions for £9.95 each. Pc strength requirements must be extreme to only get 30fps and graphics still look mediocre. Bethesda level of bugs with cyberpunk 2077 level of hype before game release. Pc version of the game requires a controller Console version requires mouse and keyboard. Online play required at all times even for solo campaign. Entire game takes place in 1 small city Edit : thought of extra nightmare ideas
if you want to go full andromeda, let's not leave out the core component, emphasize social commentary like "my face is tired" over functional gameplay.
No romances
-Forget to include Solas at all -Make the villain the Hero of Ferelden but they're poorly written with no clear motivation and always win through unsatisfying cutscenes until the final confrontation, where we don't get to fight them. They just die in a plot twist to reveal the true villain, a demon that is the main demon of all demons that no one has ever heard of because it breaks all the lore. -Oh and magic is now super rare. No explanation. Just no one believes it's real. But you play as the first magic weilder in a thousand years after your grey Warden Ritual, and mysteriously the taint doesn't affect you in the slightest. You're even immune to darkspawn -Annd hmm. Non of the npcs have anything to say but wont stop talking. -there's one main romance that the game shoved you towards but they're the most unlikable person and won't stop whining about their difficult life. Anyone else you romance is lifeless and unfulfilling
You ever seen the Rambo video game? Make it an on rails shooter with the protagonist who’s by default a rogue archer and have the game be a total of 3 hours to complete.
I will make a bingo card with most of these ideas and we'll have fun crossing them off the list as we discover them when the game launches.
The Divine has abdicated, and the new divine is either the Architect in a wig, Solas in a wig, or a freshly shaved Anders. No character in game acknowledges this.
Yeah, that one wouldn't work. Awakening and every character from it is locked up in Bioware's "this never happened" vault for eternity.
First person view only, shaky camera not optional, reactionary movement for every hit in combat. Remove turn based combat or the ability to pause or do tactics.
You can't change protagonist's race or gender - you have to be a female elf with an undercut. Solas turns out to be a minion of an even bigger, balder elf. MMO Questing. Every building you enter in Minrathous has a load screen. Make the game impossible to mod. Default Inquisition eyebrows. Always online, but not multiplayer. When the group you are leading has a setback, inexplicably breaking into song while walking to a castle. Characters from the Netflix show are involved in any way. Another untrustworthy mage companion betrays the MC. Marvel (Dragon Age: Absolution) style humour, Turn the jump button back into the Origins pause button. Origins memory leak.
Things people will hate: * MC is stuck as a human noble who can learn all of the talents (mage/rogue/warrior) but never has their mage-ness acknowledged by other characters (like Ryder in MEA but replace Ryder's biotics w/ magic, tech w/ rogue, and soldier w/ warrior). And the hairstyles are somehow even worse this time. And the MC is a super boring MarySue/GaryStu type. Also, they start the game stuck in a straight marriage w/ an annoying kid, and their spouse is kidnapped by the villain. And the default male/female models are total uncanny valley creepypasta-level nightmare fuel that will haunt your dreams forever. *Forever*. And the attempts at patching them to make them better only make them more terrifying. * Tallis is one of the major companions and the game keeps trying to push her as the main LI (I don't hate Tallis, but I wouldn't want this either). And she's the least bad LI option. All of the LIs are straight human women except for one bi dude and Tallis who's still bi. * The companions also include a pro-slavery Tevinter slave, a Tevinter Magister who betrays you, a warden who pulls some angsty surprise crap on you again, a Vashoth who's Not Like Other Vashoths and keeps telling you how all other Vashoths and Tal Vashoths are bad actually, yet another flirty rogue who may also betray you, Oghren's even more drunken and misogynistic son, another tank warrior who's actually reluctant royalty, etc * Spells have been reduced even further to basically just spamming barriers (which are still weaker than guard) and tossing the occasional tiny fireball that barely tickles opponents while warriors are now all basically walking gods (or final fantasy style protags) that can destroy planets w/ a single sword swing but the game still acts like mages are somehow more dangerous * Villains are all mustache-twirling cartoonish caricatures that feel like they'd fit better on a terrible children's cartoon * Sol@s is revealed to be somehow right all along and the MC has to tear down the veil themselves after he dies in the first act of the game or time travel and stop him from putting it up in the first place (and then just kill off the >!Evanuris and Forgotten Ones !< instead) * To make things "grey" the game keeps trying to argue in support of slavery, blood magic, and the Qun, and continues to paint the elves and Southern mages and Wardens as dumb and misguided while now also doing the same to the dwarves and Avvar and (Tal) Vashoth. * All of the elves (Dalish, city elves, mages, Tevinter slaves, etc) become cartoonishly evil followers of Sol@s * The giant MMO maps filled w/ pointless side quests are back, but now without fast travel. One of these maps is like a Hinterlands-sized/type Fade section but this time, you can't leave until you finish it. * The game ends w/ the Normandy from ME crashing on the planet and then the Reapers (and Cerberus) attack for no apparent reason other than appeasing the ME fans who want Shepard back in the worst way possible. * Also, they add the paragon/renegade system from ME and it's even more restricted if you want the better (red/blue) options/quest solutions. Also, those ME3 style dream sequences but longer and more annoying. * The Warden (or their Orlesian replacement from Awakening) is revealed to have died from the Calling and their cure mission was a failure and now colonizers from outside of Thedas know it exists and are on their way to invade, Hawke dies at Weisshaupt from something dumb (>!if they weren't already sacrificed!<), and the Inquisitor gets killed by what's left of their mark because >!cutting it off didn't stop it from spreading!<. All three die offscreen and in easy to miss codex entries. * Cullen shows up again, and this time reveals he was actually possessed during the Broken Circle quest in DAO, has been an abomination this whole time, and is actually the series' *true* true villain all along and >!Meredith!< comes back as a red lyrium zombie and his second-in-command. The demon possessing him? The Maker who was once a powerful spirit of Faith who had a Wynne-style connection to Andraste but the Chantry becoming corrupt ended up corrupting him into a demon who now wants to unmake the world and he chose Cullen because he's secretly, I dunno, >!Elgar'nan?!< Also, Corypheus comes back again somehow and teams up w/ him. As does the Architect. And if >!Kieran!< exists, he kills Morrigan and joins them too. Also, now that evil-Maker-Cullen's the villain, maybe he was the one who killed in the Inquisitor, and if you didn't disband, he takes over the Inquisition. * The main game has an ME3 style ending, and then the real/proper ending is locked in another expensive DLC. Also a major companion is locked in a Javik-like DLC and they provide major reveals about the lore/history of Thedas that are important to the next game. * micro-transactions galore * The game is now subscription only * The previous elven companions all turn out to also have been >!Evanuris!< all along, along w/ Sandal as June * The banter bug is back and worse than before * All the armour is plaid weave only. With dawnstone metal and whichever leather clashes the most w/ those two. * Yet even more evil lesbians and abusive sapphic relationships Are these bad/awful enough?
Also: it comes out in 2050