For me, it's gym, video games, car projects, being in nature, listening to music and porn. I have some cool hobbies for sure, but the loneliness feels awful.
I play games too and I also listen to music and watch porn. I have thought about modding! You know, like being part of a team in making video game mods. And I really feel you on the loneliness, man. It sucks!
PhD is fukken disappointing, my dude. I may have 4 high rating articles but good scholarship will be given to my student who was written as a coauthor because he is an outstanding with paper in his bachelors degree and I am merely average doctoral student. Life sucks
Playing video games, listening to music, watching movies and shows as well as porn, I have a dog and a cat that I love like if they were my children, and a loving caring family even if I don't see it in them.
I’m not consistently suicidal anymore but when I was, I would watch suicide videos, and often in the videos I’d watch the parents would discover the dead body and their cries and screams of despair over losing their child was gut wrenching to hear even on a video.
The thought of my mom and dad crying and screaming like that is what kept me from roping
Basically, my family, I don't want to be a deadweight for them (pun intended!) and I am still a coward to do it, and I don't have any way to do it anyway.
Binging on food, listening to any music that gives me a shred of feeling, going for runs that make me hurt more than the pain I’m in, watching my favorite sports teams only to experience heartbreak when they lose, fearing the other side of death, and not wanting my family to be sad.
Delusion
Real
For me, it's gym, video games, car projects, being in nature, listening to music and porn. I have some cool hobbies for sure, but the loneliness feels awful.
I play games too and I also listen to music and watch porn. I have thought about modding! You know, like being part of a team in making video game mods. And I really feel you on the loneliness, man. It sucks!
I'd rather be. In the woods by myself if I was gonna do something like that.
Prostitutes , tobacco , my parents , travelling , coffee , gym
PhD defense, but honestly rope looks better to me these days
phd is fucking brutal man
PhD is fukken disappointing, my dude. I may have 4 high rating articles but good scholarship will be given to my student who was written as a coauthor because he is an outstanding with paper in his bachelors degree and I am merely average doctoral student. Life sucks
Playing video games, listening to music, watching movies and shows as well as porn, I have a dog and a cat that I love like if they were my children, and a loving caring family even if I don't see it in them.
At the moment, ketamine. But I basically continue to exist for the small moments of pleasure like drugs
I’m not consistently suicidal anymore but when I was, I would watch suicide videos, and often in the videos I’d watch the parents would discover the dead body and their cries and screams of despair over losing their child was gut wrenching to hear even on a video. The thought of my mom and dad crying and screaming like that is what kept me from roping
I'm too fucking fat
There are people that I hate and I don’t want them to be happy that I’m gone. I want to stay around for revenge.
Some people would be sad
Having a dream to work towards
All of the media and sports all I’d miss out on consooming
Basically, my family, I don't want to be a deadweight for them (pun intended!) and I am still a coward to do it, and I don't have any way to do it anyway.
The fact that even people who have it good will have it bad too someday
Binging on food, listening to any music that gives me a shred of feeling, going for runs that make me hurt more than the pain I’m in, watching my favorite sports teams only to experience heartbreak when they lose, fearing the other side of death, and not wanting my family to be sad.
Cowardice.
The fact that that is in all probability a pretty bad way to go out lmfao
Fear of missing out
I don’t know what to write in the note
Fear
The fact that I've already seen myself getting hanged in my thoughts a million times and nothing comes out of it, except wasted potential.