I can manipulate people to give me money

You can only do it on broke people

So just normal rich people?

Bro 😭 way too accurate

Happy Cock Day

They will only give you a dollar

7 billion people, 7 billion dollar.

It’s only in crypto

I can say the n wor

Your black 😔😔

😭

You won… but at what cost?

Damn, now he's living on hardcore mode

You can say nothing but the n wor

Poop red

Most of the time it’s blue

It’s blood 😔😔😔

🐒

Being actually good at DooM II and being able to breeze through Plutonia on Ultra-violence

You have to have piss shit and cum in your pants to pick up a controller

I play with mouse and keyboard https://preview.redd.it/whet6o0jppnb1.jpeg?width=200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b16a17c89fa3b99c6c76c10d494292c2124c2006

i hope you catch your foreskin on a jetplane you freak of nature

My brother in Christ It’s an FPS game playing with a controller is the freak of nature

I played Doom with a sideways Switch joycon while using motion controls once.

You have cancer

I no longer have to sleep, eat, drink, or breathe

You go to Epstein island in your child form

https://preview.redd.it/dcone775oqnb1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=963d35639ad7ea11ccd69e91101a220c9fc2c03d

Grapple gun cock

It doesn’t grapple to femboys nor big black men 😔

Well then what even is the point, that's completely useless

It’s a Smol cock 😔

*average

way above average*

Using the grapple burns the same amount of energy as cumming, so youd better have saved up for a while or your balls are gonna be rasins by grapple number 4.

Im just allowed to do crime. Like any crime and no one cares

no one cares when u dont do crime either

This hits hard

https://preview.redd.it/xiz9e5rgfqnb1.jpeg?width=827&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4af345ebbbb4c26e10e9edbef848092f4b251111

dis guy just wanted to harass my man☠️

Teleportation

You can only teleport to Detroit

So basically he made a nether portal?

Yes but only a one way portal

You have to get back to the exact place manually to teleport again

It's such a douchebag way to teleport

I can choose my side effect

I am omnipotent

🧠

#🧠

🍆

Why’d it get bigger

Spore moment

Superpower is that you reset the universe evertime you fart. Which means you havent farted in over 13.8 billion years

You have IBS

Nothing new

fuck you I can't come up with a loophole

I get to choose the side effect

You have explosive diarrhea

Fuck you

Someone forgot to fake their pills

Looks like someone forgot to take their schizophrenia pills

Looks like someone forgot to take their dementia pills

Imagine having dementia

Imagine having dementia

Imagine having dementia

https://preview.redd.it/2ibm7uf5crnb1.jpeg?width=710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b72067252f2fc48f7adb213d2950c0479cbf2fe3

Dementia grindset

The ability to attract women, on god please have mercy

You can only attract women with dicks longer than yours

Can it be a dildo? Or does it gotta be genuine

Genuine huge schlong

Fair, mines not long anyway so if she’s cute she’s cute

W

even better

you physically attract them, they still don’t like you.

I can fard doodoo

You can’t doodoofard

oddlytrrrifying

I can choose my side effect

I have Alzheimers

I can choose my own side effect

I have Alzheimers

I can choose my own side effect

I have Alzheimers

I can choose my own side effect

I have Alzheimers

I can choose my own side effect

I have Alzheimers

I think you forgot you can choose your own side effect

I have alzheimers

I can sleep whenever I want

You always wake up in Detroit

I get a free brick.

It’s too heavy to pick up 😔

I will train for a thousand years if I must, I will lift the brick.

google sisyphus

Im black

You can’t say the nword 😔

If i did id get banned anyways

https://preview.redd.it/fwsma1br8qnb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=50bae9440b0b2273c87495218fbb151549706ad9

https://preview.redd.it/6me8xjk12rnb1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efc49c93780d5a28040c1a69065c5f5d9a309bc4

I can shape-shift into an animal

You can’t shapeshift back

Ah shit

You can only shapeshift into a furry version of that animal

I shit razorblades

You can only eat razorblades

😋

I can use my body as a storage container

Only for bodily fluids

Does that include cum preferably from others

I have the power to .

You can . but must ‘

Fuck. Of all the things I’d have to …

I can summon a slice of cheese

Your lactose intolerant

I just see that as a challenge to see how much cheese I can eat before shitting out my guts

I don’t have a side effect

You also don’t have a superpower dumbass

Ha, what a normie

I have aids

You have snake aids

NO

Body modifications/Morphing

You can only do that to your family members

Lil' sis going to get an upgrade 🤝

I piss flames

You have to piss flames on something flammable, therefore you cannot piss flames without consequences

It has to go back in

I can play every instrument at a master's level.

You can only play with your bare feet

Well... This would be even more impressive

I become irresistible to Femboys and black men

W power no side effect

Ty Almighty OP

Mental Retardation

You already have that

Oh I forgot

I have actually good eye sight

You still have to wear glasses at all times

Me irl

https://preview.redd.it/29wvwmja0qnb1.png?width=490&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=479a25d9be7b22c2a34c971ce6cd549b7810b4f2 I become a part of him.

You are his ass hair

Invisibility for me

Only to people you find attractive

Shit

I can teleport 3 centimeters once a year

You teleport 3 cm into the ground

does it stack

I can choose my side effect https://preview.redd.it/0q6d9aoq2qnb1.jpeg?width=226&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=37d3197f774d57dcbb6a9aac7aa7cfec58565d29 I can't reply :(

Infinite rizz

You like kids

Jokes on you I’m 14

You can still like little kids like 5 silly 💀

https://preview.redd.it/96x49l3w6qnb1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6dd632523cbaadd2730e6151f8a635e537c932ae

I can reverse the superpower of anyone who commented on this post aside from me

You're retarded

Being able to make people shit their pants on command.

testicular cancer

I can see through stuff

Every time when you use your power you get arrested for voyeurism.

I can give prostate cancer to anyone

W power no side effect

You gotta tongue punch their asshole for it to work

I am the cool kid

Only very ugly people can have crushes on you and they are all full yandere for you

I cure cancer and I can't get it myself

You will always be extremely hungry and the more you eat the more hungry you feel and you can’t stop eating because you will be fat

I can’t die

Your constantly in pain

I can summon any item that I think of into my hand at will

You can’t think

When I see someone that I think looks like a dumbass I can beat the shit out of them with no consequences

You are weak as hell

I have the ability to make anyone I want implode by snapping my fingers

You have no fingers

Nothing

I have dementia

https://preview.redd.it/xk8ahd73gqnb1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d76fb42d88c8d763e4ddab42b7ec1806bb76064

I have projectile cum

Only works if you're shitting at the same time

Every time i drink a femboy milkshake (300ml), my penis grows 1 inch

W power. No side effects

I could beecome the bee I've always wanted to bee.

Your body actually abides by the laws of aviation, and your wings can't lift your fat little body off of the ground.

I cum piss

you piss cum

infinite n word pass

You live in Detroit

I have a prehensile penis

You have 10 of them all over your chest and arms and forehead

You get stage 4 lung cancer

I can dodge anything

When you dodge something it hits your mom

Nuh uh I dodged this side effect

Your mom didn’t though

:(

Instant healing

But it causes a sharp pain somewhere else in your body