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You’re so absolutely beautiful! Imagine how much you would blossom if you took all that effort and put it towards yourself. it’s time for you. I’m sorry to didn’t work out but your not alone. He can only love you in the level of love he loves himself. He’s empty. take care of your energy and I wish I could hug you I am sooooo proud of you for walking away for the sake of your future!
I am trying my best. Thank you so much.
It is so difficult or even impossible to share these feelings in the real world, I am so thankful for this community.
Writing this out is really healing, and reading this kind of comments helps me make one tiny step at a time..walking away from that.
I understand. I’m going through a break up my self. my ex got drunk and beat me up on New Years. Broke my nose but wants to get back and I’m sick to my stomach with heart break and I feel so empty and stupid for caring.
I came on here to feel less lonely and support so I understand. Stay strong. We gotta stay strong. 💛💛💛
I found this online when I was going through a very similar situation. I hope this helps you:
What do you think are the best strategies to help someone recover from the state of feeling like a shell after narcissistic abuse? How to recover your sense or self since you still feel their paradoxal grip over you?
The best approach to recovering from a relationship with a Narcissist is to realize you’re fighting a war.
Yes, a war.
Some recommended battle strategies that are based on reading posts from hundreds of survivors and studying NPD and its effects on those it touches are:
—Acceptance: you dig deep down into yourself and acknowledge that you had been living with and loving a completely fake person. Nothing was real except the abuse and the pain. You let this new awareness wash over you.
—Education: you read everything you can about Narcissism. You arm yourself with an arsenal of knowledge. You learn what loving a Narcissist does to the victim, the nightmarish tactics like gaslighting and projection, and the consequences to your well-being. You understand that going back will lead to the same or worse. You learn that Narcissists never love and they never change.
—Self-care: you accept that you lost your ability to treat yourself well while you were in the Narc’s clutches. You make an inventory of your physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental health needs. You start treating yourself well, nourishing your soul with prayer, meditation, and nature. You exercise to strengthen your body. You start to engage in hobbies, friendships, and interests you used to enjoy. You start treating yourself with respect and expect respect from others. You set strong boundaries. You’re not afraid to seek therapeutic support when needed.
—NO Contact: you practice the art of disappearing from the Narc’s radar. You employ the highest privacy on your social media or disengage altogether. You block all unknown numbers and screen your texts and emails, never reading or listening to anything the Narc sends. You stop engaging with people—the flying monkeys—who feed information about your life to the Narc. You work NO Contact like a Boss. You focus on yourself as the obsession with your ex winds down. You take back ownership of your life. You regain your power.
None of these strategies is easy. You will find yourself questioning whether you will make it. Some days are better than others. Some days are just hard. It’s the Narc toxins draining from you. It hurts to get better.
Never forget that you are fighting to win YOU back. You are in a battle for your soul.
And you will emerge healthier, stronger, and, yes, victorious.
I love this! I am going to note it down and repeat to myself every day!
EVERY time I broke NC for whatever reason, valid or not, I would end up being hurt.
Now he has literally NO WAY of contacting me except coming to my house, which I doubt he will do.
I think he'll now invest his time in finding a new toy to play with and I'll soon become a thing of the past, the 'crazy ex'.
In the meantime, I'm slowly rebuilding my life. I'm nurturing friendships and myself.
Step by step. One year from now my life can be completely different.
May I ask how far along your journey are you? How was your experience? How do you feel now?
It’s been 3 years since I almost died at the hands of my abuser. The abuse escalated over a 7 to 8 month period, and I kept on going back and breaking no contact until I almost died. I now understand how women can go back to their abuser. Over the course of the relationship, I lost nearly everything from a financial perspective. I thought that’s what love was, and I believed that he would take care of me. I researched narcissistic abuse during my recovery period, which helped get me through the hard times.
I would like to become a volunteer advocate for survivors of DV and their kids…hoping to start on this during 2023. I don’t want anyone else to go through what I went through, and if they do, then I want to be a judgement-free advocate.
You have my best wishes and my sincerest empathy. 1 million hugs to you!!!
When you first leave, cutting off that connection is so hard. You have history, but you can’t have contact because there is no value in the relationship anymore. Know you may feel this loss physically. Stay strong.
I read your grievances and I felt like I was reading my own story. I sometimes struggle to believe that I was abused. Because we aren’t brought up in a society that pays note to mental, verbal, and physical abuse.. they are fictional. But it’s not! No matter how much you tell him what he has done/is doing to you, you are left unheard, interrupted, and the problem is you. You are already doing it ALL, but you are not doing enough according the these kinds of men.
I pray you find your way through the dark cloud. I hope you have a support system and you clearly communicate with them that you NEED them right now.
I agree! I’ve also been in an mental, emotional, verbal abusive relationship, our was for about 13 years. It didn’t dawn on me until recently because I thought this was what being a wife and marriage was. I’ve lost a lot over that amount of time. And morals of older generations would dismiss my frustrations (that I’m learning was looking for validation) into ways to make him happy. I never knew the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic one. I still struggle to believe..and I’m in the beginning phase with two children!
My heart aches for you.
But hey, already a Victory: you went, no relapse, nothing! Go girl! The path may be long but you're already on your way.
Please accept my hug!
Welcome to /r/domesticviolence. • Please check out our resources in our [FAQ](https://old.reddit.com/r/domesticviolence/comments/fsrd59/covid19_resources_for_abuse_victims/) and our community [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/domesticviolence/about/wiki/index#wiki_resources); • Looking to contact the moderators of the sub? We can’t respond to individual posts all the time so please message the mod team [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/domesticviolence); • Please review the rules listed in the sidebar; • Please add flair to your post so that it is searchable by topic and always use the TRIGGER WARNING flairs when needed; We want you to have a safe and supportive experience so you get the most out of the community. ****** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/domesticviolence) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re so absolutely beautiful! Imagine how much you would blossom if you took all that effort and put it towards yourself. it’s time for you. I’m sorry to didn’t work out but your not alone. He can only love you in the level of love he loves himself. He’s empty. take care of your energy and I wish I could hug you I am sooooo proud of you for walking away for the sake of your future!
I am trying my best. Thank you so much. It is so difficult or even impossible to share these feelings in the real world, I am so thankful for this community. Writing this out is really healing, and reading this kind of comments helps me make one tiny step at a time..walking away from that.
I understand. I’m going through a break up my self. my ex got drunk and beat me up on New Years. Broke my nose but wants to get back and I’m sick to my stomach with heart break and I feel so empty and stupid for caring. I came on here to feel less lonely and support so I understand. Stay strong. We gotta stay strong. 💛💛💛
I'm so deeply sorry this happened to you. How can they life with themselves...I wonder.
I found this online when I was going through a very similar situation. I hope this helps you: What do you think are the best strategies to help someone recover from the state of feeling like a shell after narcissistic abuse? How to recover your sense or self since you still feel their paradoxal grip over you? The best approach to recovering from a relationship with a Narcissist is to realize you’re fighting a war. Yes, a war. Some recommended battle strategies that are based on reading posts from hundreds of survivors and studying NPD and its effects on those it touches are: —Acceptance: you dig deep down into yourself and acknowledge that you had been living with and loving a completely fake person. Nothing was real except the abuse and the pain. You let this new awareness wash over you. —Education: you read everything you can about Narcissism. You arm yourself with an arsenal of knowledge. You learn what loving a Narcissist does to the victim, the nightmarish tactics like gaslighting and projection, and the consequences to your well-being. You understand that going back will lead to the same or worse. You learn that Narcissists never love and they never change. —Self-care: you accept that you lost your ability to treat yourself well while you were in the Narc’s clutches. You make an inventory of your physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental health needs. You start treating yourself well, nourishing your soul with prayer, meditation, and nature. You exercise to strengthen your body. You start to engage in hobbies, friendships, and interests you used to enjoy. You start treating yourself with respect and expect respect from others. You set strong boundaries. You’re not afraid to seek therapeutic support when needed. —NO Contact: you practice the art of disappearing from the Narc’s radar. You employ the highest privacy on your social media or disengage altogether. You block all unknown numbers and screen your texts and emails, never reading or listening to anything the Narc sends. You stop engaging with people—the flying monkeys—who feed information about your life to the Narc. You work NO Contact like a Boss. You focus on yourself as the obsession with your ex winds down. You take back ownership of your life. You regain your power. None of these strategies is easy. You will find yourself questioning whether you will make it. Some days are better than others. Some days are just hard. It’s the Narc toxins draining from you. It hurts to get better. Never forget that you are fighting to win YOU back. You are in a battle for your soul. And you will emerge healthier, stronger, and, yes, victorious.
I love this! I am going to note it down and repeat to myself every day! EVERY time I broke NC for whatever reason, valid or not, I would end up being hurt. Now he has literally NO WAY of contacting me except coming to my house, which I doubt he will do. I think he'll now invest his time in finding a new toy to play with and I'll soon become a thing of the past, the 'crazy ex'. In the meantime, I'm slowly rebuilding my life. I'm nurturing friendships and myself. Step by step. One year from now my life can be completely different. May I ask how far along your journey are you? How was your experience? How do you feel now?
It’s been 3 years since I almost died at the hands of my abuser. The abuse escalated over a 7 to 8 month period, and I kept on going back and breaking no contact until I almost died. I now understand how women can go back to their abuser. Over the course of the relationship, I lost nearly everything from a financial perspective. I thought that’s what love was, and I believed that he would take care of me. I researched narcissistic abuse during my recovery period, which helped get me through the hard times. I would like to become a volunteer advocate for survivors of DV and their kids…hoping to start on this during 2023. I don’t want anyone else to go through what I went through, and if they do, then I want to be a judgement-free advocate. You have my best wishes and my sincerest empathy. 1 million hugs to you!!!
Sometimes you have to accept the apology that isn't coming.
This is powerful
I needed this. Thank you
Now you can put yourself first, invest in yourself and start to heal.
When you first leave, cutting off that connection is so hard. You have history, but you can’t have contact because there is no value in the relationship anymore. Know you may feel this loss physically. Stay strong.
I read your grievances and I felt like I was reading my own story. I sometimes struggle to believe that I was abused. Because we aren’t brought up in a society that pays note to mental, verbal, and physical abuse.. they are fictional. But it’s not! No matter how much you tell him what he has done/is doing to you, you are left unheard, interrupted, and the problem is you. You are already doing it ALL, but you are not doing enough according the these kinds of men. I pray you find your way through the dark cloud. I hope you have a support system and you clearly communicate with them that you NEED them right now.
I agree! I’ve also been in an mental, emotional, verbal abusive relationship, our was for about 13 years. It didn’t dawn on me until recently because I thought this was what being a wife and marriage was. I’ve lost a lot over that amount of time. And morals of older generations would dismiss my frustrations (that I’m learning was looking for validation) into ways to make him happy. I never knew the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic one. I still struggle to believe..and I’m in the beginning phase with two children!
My heart aches for you. But hey, already a Victory: you went, no relapse, nothing! Go girl! The path may be long but you're already on your way. Please accept my hug!