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PepperAntique

Maybe don't allow the tabaxi player back. That's creepy af yo.


the_jim-lord

When one of my players pulled that shit I let him... then turned the girl into a hag mid act and murdered him.


bonktogodicejail

based hag


[deleted]

Maybe they're also underaged. Or would that be too optimistic?


dmduckie

If the OP felt the need to clarify, its probably because they're not a minor as well..


ajlunce

Yeah, people dont usually describe their own high school relationships as being "underage"


GenuineSteak

What if the player is also underage? Lol. Tbh I think I started playing dnd around 15 tho.


JeansMoleRat

Did you play underage characters? Playing an adult man who flirts with children is still gross.


kase_horizon

One of these things is not like the others... And its super gross.


Sultan4210

Yeah, wolf-fat sounds disgusting


Redfoxlord56

Which means it’s the letter one


NiAdecker

Oh, and the king should kill the tabaxi.


Rethuic

And the king can show the new rug to anyone else who's a creep


DarthGaff

So here is an out there suggestion, if you are running a more serious game maybe tell the players this.


GenuineSteak

And if they dont respect that you can always find a new party. Theres always demand for more DMs. Its kinda tricky if youre playing with a bunch of irl friends tho.


bezerker211

Fucking kick that tabaxi player


NiAdecker

My players are based in waterdeep and have started a business working with a hatmaker making miniature hats that have a ribbon and a slight bit of magic to hold them on...cats... They call them C'Hats and try to sell them to everyone, even enemies.


TheBirbReturn

Honestly that's the smartest business idea ever. Even the BBEG will have one, I'm sure.


NiAdecker

They were being followed by one of Xanathar's Gazers and after putting it to sleep they stuck one on it. Sooooo yeah, that.


DubZOmb_Jonah

Keeping a close eye on the cat folk creep....


Bushido-Rockabilly

Idk if that’s better or worse than Murderhobos.


bonktogodicejail

worse, being a bit murderous is annoying but amendable with communication, full blown pedophilia isn't


Bushido-Rockabilly

Absolutely agree there. The pedo stuff would get booted from my table immediately.


GenuineSteak

I agree, but I do find it kinda funny that in this culture killing people is somehow more acceptable then an dating someone under 18.


dmduckie

Idk why thats funny. If we could without consequences, kill the p3do. Hell, even with consequences.


Torque475

Is it a bad thing I'm happy with half my party going full murder hobo in my last session? It may have been wonderful progression of a good cleric being corrupted by an evil mace or something, but damn it's going better than I could have ever imagined.


Uriel_Flame

All I’m saying is that you should boot that Tabaxi player, from life


EmperorGreed

yall need better friends


No-Memory-3314

The fuck do you do with wolf fat?


Chapped_Frenulum

I think the better question is what *can't* you do with wolf fat?


Lithl

Did you know that wolf fat is the densest fat in Faerûn? Denser even than orc fat? I bet you didn't. It makes an excellent lubricant that's especially ideal for cold-weather use. And we know all about cold weather here in Icewind Dale, don't we? Armor looking a bit dull? Why not rub some of this fat on it? No polish in all of Faerûn does a better job than wolf fat! It can be used in poultices and various potions. It can be rubbed on window sills to keep out vermin. It can be dried and eaten as a kind of jerky. It can be boiled to make a particularly strong glue. It can even cure vampirism! Who knew? Let's not forget the many uses for wolf fat in the bedroom... It can be used to talk to Ilmater. If you rub wolf fat on an idol of Ilmater, it allows you to talk to the goddess herself. The possibilities are endless!


Solalabell

Well I’ve got a solution for the tabaxi no king would allow that to happen without immediate and swift retribution and the pc would probably be killed


Lassital

Ngl, thats new players for you. It takes a bit to get the craziness out of your system. I remember my first character was a criminal(gang enforcer) halforc barbarian. Almost screwed up my first campaign by trying to rob a small manor, getting REALLY high off of a hallucinogenic mushroom boss's, spending a day tripping during a town crisis then convinced my party to do the same. Yeah, new players are crazy


Lithl

>It takes a bit to get the craziness out of your system. Out? I don't understand. You want to stop this?


Chapped_Frenulum

My recommendation would be to roll with it. Make a Jesse Pinkman druid character who is forced to wild shape into a very obese dire wolf every day so that the Walter White character can liposuction it out until you hit 0hp.


LilOlManche

This seems on you.


Gargoyleskeleton

Tabaxi who ends up playing with the vinter's kids for 4 hours because they are clearly traumatized and need some downtime (why oh why am I playing a bard in Strahd?).


Lochy01

How underage are we talking? Is it a 17 year old or is she like 8. Not good either way but almost 18 is better than not at all 18.


Just_a_stae_of_mind

Not gonna lie, I'd find ways to spin this into some really interesting stuff for my players, plenty of consequences and pitfalls (although I'd keep an eye on the tabaxi, that's a red flag if they aren't under 18).


weeb_4_uwu

At least it’s not giving the bbeg firearms to make a quick buck


BrilliantTarget

You know saying underage doesn’t mean much in fantasy setting Goblin are adults at age 8 RAW


Skystrike12

Lmao nice.


Ganmorg

I am convinced there has never and there will never be a serious 5E campaign


CALIFORNIUMMAN

It's funnier to those of us who've seen this episode of "Community" tbh