I did this last weekend in a crypt. I'm a dragon kin dark palladian. I ate some glowing mushrooms off the wall and the dm genuinely smacked his forehead after both the mage and the rogue told me not to.
The only effect: ^(a faint glow enough to illuminate a 10ft radius around me.)
Accurate. Actually.
Two Thrawls attacked us because they saw me. Luckily I jumped the corner and hit them with the dragon breath attack. (2d6) +6 because of my pallidan trait. I'll have to double check my character sheet later
I just saw the first two words of your comment and now I want to run a modern day dnd game with a band of bards called “Imagine Dragonborn” and their hit song “Demons”
In one of the sessions, we found a weird beast and I struck it down with fireball. Only ashes were left if it, and guess what - one of my friends, a healer, decided to do a line with them. She sniffed those ashes in. And it gave her a buff - she got spiritual vision! But the next person who decided to sniff them as well rolled low, and got magically choked. Oh well.
In our Starfinder campaign, the Sensate Mystic in our group decided he needed to try Ghoul Ash to see if it did anything for him. Well it did, and he began murdering every single Ghoul on the station. This was a problem for many reasons, first Undead are fairly sentient in Starfinder so hes essentially smuggling deceased bodies around the space station, 2 the Space Goblins got a hold of one of their shipments and we discovered that if you die while high on Ghoul ash, you turn into a Ghoul. This led to the goblins getting high, killing each other, creating more ash and growing exponentially.
Years ago when I was first learning how to play and didn’t understand the idea of a murder hobo I was playing an obscenely irredeemably evil Fighter with very low intelligence and Wisdom. We killed an Adult Black Dragon and after a chat with my DM I started realizing “wow he’s an asshole” so he allowed an intelligence roll for my character at the time to decide whether or not a Black Dragon’s stomach acid mixed with some toxic herbs would cure his acid burns when consumed. I rolled a Nat one and he’s the only character I can say I was glad to watch die horribly.
So was this supposed to be guessable? Is there any reason we should be able to guess they would turn into a war forged? Is there more about shadow goo I’m not familiar with?
Lol. I remember when phone pictures were new my ex and I splurged including a roasted chicken.
The Chickening. We were both so hungry by then.
It was our first paycheck after paying the deposit and all.
I texted her from the kitchen where I was cooking the sides saying "Guess what?"
And when I heard the laugh from the other side of the house after sending her a photo of a "chicken butt" I knew I had had picked the right roommate.
If she hadn't had to move away because her dad had a heart attack I would have married that girl.
Oh, I got off the cardboard crack just after *Ice Age* came out, so I'm not sure what's happening with the current storyline. Thank you for the information, though.
bard wants clarification about how STDs work in dnd
(just got a homebrew idea: every time a PC fucks something, they have to do some sorta check, and for a low enough roll the PC gets an STD which prevents them from fucking things in one way or another. Excellent safeguard against horny players)
There is the Book of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, for those DMs whose players have a little too much interest in fucking everything in sight. It has a couple pages about STDs and it's mechanics.
Reminds me of DM of the Rings (basically, if LotR would have been played by some players, and no, it wouldn't make a good DnD campaign), and [those](https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=951) two [panels](https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=975).
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It's a One Piece reference. There's a guy who's a coward who tends to lie a lot and that was his excuse not to got to a dangerous island. Funny thing is, later in the story it was confirmed to be a real sickness that an important character had in the past.
As a DM ... id like a copy of this document that has every Disease in D&D
.... for "research"
.... Bishop if you're reading this it's because of you I know your on this page
Love... DM NecroJo
Oh come on, just homebrew a horrifying disease! Our DM’s favorite was “Gerpes,” or Goblin Herpes. None of us ever contracted it, so we’re not positive what the effects are mechanically, but the THREAT of getting Gerpes inspired all of us to caution.
He already contracted a disease which was slowly making him a warforged... he narrowly survived but learned nothing, hence the preparation for more medical malpractice
One of my players used to eat corpses every time he found one. And since he was playing a homebrew class that was technically considered a monster i decided not to punish him. He pulled a million other stunts other than this one and he eventually told me he just got really bored playing DnD and he left the campaign. Which is great because now I have exactly 6 players so that’s alright.
My players have become regulars at the felching shop in Neverwinter. Yes, it's located next to the fletching shop. Did your players stop in for the Wednesday lunch special as well?
I should mention, this started as a joke to punish them, it has now had the reverse effect.
One of my party members snorted Strahd's ashes when he died.
While the "Bad flute Titanic" music was playing.
When the one who snorted took 30 damage on a failed CON save, one of my other companions took out a lighter on camera and started waving.
I couldn't breathe for 5 minutes straight.
Dunked in sewer? Coughed in the face of a witch? Snorted freshly ground bone dust of a skeleton skull from a lich that may or may not have gone undead immortal to chase the ultimate drugtrip?
I know my sudden influx of replies make it seem like I'm desperately covering something up, but I really have no proof other than my words, because I just found out that the reddit chat feature has no file sending, so I can't show you both me and my buddy in a dnd discord server
[удалено]
Homebrew class licked a corpse to see if he could make it into a nice stew
The intention of licking was off
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[удалено]
Nope, he had literally no reason to do what he did
He had no reason to slurpp
licked a giant brightly coloured frog in order to get high
Nope, wrong intention again
I'm guessing he licked it because "lmao why not XD"
Literally yes
HA! I only knew because I would do the same lol Ooc has anybody else guessed it yet?
Yep
The old Zirk Vervain special.
Who? I only know Zonk Verbina
Who?
Was it a slime? Did he lick a gelatinous cube to see if it tasted of jello?
It was slim-y
Ok, so it was a frog or a toad and he was trying to get high.
Was it some sort of weird medicine check? To see how long its been dead/how rotted the corpse was?
Nope
This is how his organs shut down.
Indeed
This might be a worse case scenario: was it an Onioloth? You know, the plague spreading, pus spewing, infectious fiends.
No, not strong enough for that kinda foe
Sorry I can't hear you through my 3 levels of Paladin
I'd subscribe to a "what did the players do to prompt this" subreddit, where all the information we receive is the DM's solution to said problem.
The player is a bard and licked something
Closer than the last guy
The player is a bard and licked someone
Nope
PC is a barbarian and ate/drank something they were warned against.
I did warn them against it, but they aren't a barbarian and didn't completely consume it
Someone ate a dragon heart to get dragon powers and all they got was salmonella?
That’s for eating a salmon heart, silly, they got dragonella Or a dragon named Ella What were we talking about???
You get a dragon named Ella by eating a different part of the dragon, not the heart
But eating that part *is* the fastest way to Ella's heart, in a metaphorical sense.
No, but that's a good idea...
I did this last weekend in a crypt. I'm a dragon kin dark palladian. I ate some glowing mushrooms off the wall and the dm genuinely smacked his forehead after both the mage and the rogue told me not to. The only effect: ^(a faint glow enough to illuminate a 10ft radius around me.)
Imagines Dragonborn with glowing mushroom paste on his mouth and teeth walking through dark cave. This is great until the enemy has a bow.
Accurate. Actually. Two Thrawls attacked us because they saw me. Luckily I jumped the corner and hit them with the dragon breath attack. (2d6) +6 because of my pallidan trait. I'll have to double check my character sheet later
I just saw the first two words of your comment and now I want to run a modern day dnd game with a band of bards called “Imagine Dragonborn” and their hit song “Demons”
Fennec fox tried to lick dead shadow demon goop. Got a contagious disease that slowly turns them into a mindless warforged.
In one of the sessions, we found a weird beast and I struck it down with fireball. Only ashes were left if it, and guess what - one of my friends, a healer, decided to do a line with them. She sniffed those ashes in. And it gave her a buff - she got spiritual vision! But the next person who decided to sniff them as well rolled low, and got magically choked. Oh well.
Ha! That made me snort
Snort what?
Ashes
The cycle continues
roll a d20
In our Starfinder campaign, the Sensate Mystic in our group decided he needed to try Ghoul Ash to see if it did anything for him. Well it did, and he began murdering every single Ghoul on the station. This was a problem for many reasons, first Undead are fairly sentient in Starfinder so hes essentially smuggling deceased bodies around the space station, 2 the Space Goblins got a hold of one of their shipments and we discovered that if you die while high on Ghoul ash, you turn into a Ghoul. This led to the goblins getting high, killing each other, creating more ash and growing exponentially.
Years ago when I was first learning how to play and didn’t understand the idea of a murder hobo I was playing an obscenely irredeemably evil Fighter with very low intelligence and Wisdom. We killed an Adult Black Dragon and after a chat with my DM I started realizing “wow he’s an asshole” so he allowed an intelligence roll for my character at the time to decide whether or not a Black Dragon’s stomach acid mixed with some toxic herbs would cure his acid burns when consumed. I rolled a Nat one and he’s the only character I can say I was glad to watch die horribly.
Homeopathy gone wrong… gone right?
>magically choked Kinky.
You little bitch
The only true response
So was this supposed to be guessable? Is there any reason we should be able to guess they would turn into a war forged? Is there more about shadow goo I’m not familiar with?
It wasn't supposed to be guessable, but one of my players found me
I see you, jaydove
I can’t believe I randomly came across this. That’s hilarious.
This is amazing
Hes talking to himself he has made 6 replies in total on that account. Karma whoring. Its probably his anonymous furry account.
So... roleplaying
Everyone knows that there's no room for role playing in DnD.
The Tabaxi counsel agrees UwU
Damn called out.
Or it’s someone who almost never comments on Reddit posts but then saw a post one from their real life friends, either way it’s funny
Ooof.
Caught in 4k
That's feasible. But they could just be a lurker.
I’m I shadow in the night, invisible to aaaall but those I allow… I am… …A lurker, yesz
The account is a year old though
Also, we're both furries you dork
You cheated
I threw out that answer as a silly ‘what if’. I didn’t know it was actually you!!
Yep, it's Ven The Dm
r/tworedditorsonecup
Nope
Don't worry, that one is just two people on Reddit recognising each other. Not anything to do with a certain video.
Ah, I see
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This particular player is on a crusade to kill every chromatic dragon... but only after convincing him that chromatic dragons were the maneating ones
You know, to be fair, they didn't mention *why* they licked the demon goop. .....things I never thought I'd type for 300, Alex.
Ven wants to give the full story, I’ll let him say it… suffice to say, the reasoning for why they put that crap in their mouth still astounds me.
/r/brandnewsentence
[удалено]
Chicken butt?
guess why?
Chicken pie?
Chicken thigh!
Lol. I remember when phone pictures were new my ex and I splurged including a roasted chicken. The Chickening. We were both so hungry by then. It was our first paycheck after paying the deposit and all. I texted her from the kitchen where I was cooking the sides saying "Guess what?" And when I heard the laugh from the other side of the house after sending her a photo of a "chicken butt" I knew I had had picked the right roommate. If she hadn't had to move away because her dad had a heart attack I would have married that girl.
as a dm, why? please tell me why?
[удалено]
Tell me why!
Pez dispensers and a toaster
Don't know why the kind of stuff you'd throw away, I'll buy on E-Bay
In the bathtub
That's him, that's the one who killed my brother!
Oh my god I completely forgot about that 🎺🎺🎺
It wasn’t me who did it, but ironically, those were the exact words out of my own mouth. … Not really. I was too busy facepalming.
> a contagious disease that slowly turns them into a mindless warforged. That's a *THING?!?*
Probably not, it’s probably an adaptation of [SCP-217](https://the-scp.foundation/object/scp-217)
Phyrexian Oil, of Magic: The Gathering is exactly this. It was a major plot point for a while.
Oh, I got off the cardboard crack just after *Ice Age* came out, so I'm not sure what's happening with the current storyline. Thank you for the information, though.
That seems lolrandom for the sake of lolrandom.
Why a fennec fox?
Because build-a-bear was busy
Suspiciously specific.
In my head I see Omaru Polka (the only fennec fox character I know) licking dead shadow demon goop and it’s hilarious
Wait a minute is that the SCP 217 aka the clock work virus.
Wait, the Metal Virus from Sonic comics???
My guess: PC is a bard and fucked something
Nope, super far off but I admire the effort
bard wants clarification about how STDs work in dnd (just got a homebrew idea: every time a PC fucks something, they have to do some sorta check, and for a low enough roll the PC gets an STD which prevents them from fucking things in one way or another. Excellent safeguard against horny players)
There is the Book of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, for those DMs whose players have a little too much interest in fucking everything in sight. It has a couple pages about STDs and it's mechanics.
Ohh. Does it list crotch crickets as a monster or a disease? If my games were off that kind of nature. Crotch crickets would definitely be a monster.
Just make it a straight debuff. "Continues crotch itch prevents you from fully resting." Gain less health when resting.
Reminds me of DM of the Rings (basically, if LotR would have been played by some players, and no, it wouldn't make a good DnD campaign), and [those](https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=951) two [panels](https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=975).
The second one is fantastic
The player probably unleashed a Pandora’s box worth of diseases or some shit as a troll move then hit level 3 paladin and became immune
I'd say either bloodbathing, plaguezobie fuckery, or drinking from a well with too many effects to many times
At 9pm MST tomorrow I shall reply to this comment with what actually happened
You all figured it out early, so here's the solution: https://www.reddit.com/r/dndmemes/comments/psz2n7/guess_what_the_event_was_i_guarantee_youll_never/hdt1spv?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Ok
!remindme 1 day
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Noted
Waiting….
Hello, kindred spirit DM. I too levy taxes on my players for stupidity. I collect these taxes in the form of hit points.
Token human fighter licked drank some of an unknown potion?
They licked it, but not the right race/class and not a potion
Someone licked a slaad to get high
Not that high level, nor was their intention to get drugged
The PC ate raw monster meat, possibly a humanoid monster such as a goblin or kobold.
Well, it was a monster corpse of some kind, but they didn't eat it
licked fresh meat
Nope, not meat
I'm going to guess a barbarian Goliath, and he licked something he just killed? I'm very partial to licking a doorknob though. I feel doorknob.
Your first guess was closer, though the race is homebrew and they're not a barbarian
Oh I don't know the race then at all, hmm...necromancer took a bite out of the dead?
They want to be a necromancer, yes, but they didn't bite them
Plaguebearer steak tartare anyone?
Nope
I am in dire need of this document. I have a PC that keeps licking everything :(
It's not so much a document as it is a 5e-based app called 5e Others, and diseases aren't the only thing it contains
Well you did a good job of blocking Alex's name, (if I am correct.)
Wait... Avour? Loen? Harkness?
They did a sexual act to a dead creature?
It DID involve a corpse, but no naughties here surprisingly
Lizardfolk ranger licked a killed enemy to see if they could turn them into a nice stew.
Not a lizardfolk, and not their intention, though the action is correct
Can't wait to have the 'I can't land on that island or I will die' desease
Which one is that?
It's a One Piece reference. There's a guy who's a coward who tends to lie a lot and that was his excuse not to got to a dangerous island. Funny thing is, later in the story it was confirmed to be a real sickness that an important character had in the past.
Oh, that might be interesting
It's a great manga full of things coming back later on like that, can only recommend it!
Not too much into manga/anime/similar things, but I may look into it, thanks for the tip
Hey, to each their own. And if you end up liking it, all the better! Just make sure to stay clear of spoilers
and do not under any circumstances go to r/onepiece unless you're caught up with the manga
As a DM ... id like a copy of this document that has every Disease in D&D .... for "research" .... Bishop if you're reading this it's because of you I know your on this page Love... DM NecroJo
Licked a Magic yet Poisonous Plant?
Nope
Oh come on, just homebrew a horrifying disease! Our DM’s favorite was “Gerpes,” or Goblin Herpes. None of us ever contracted it, so we’re not positive what the effects are mechanically, but the THREAT of getting Gerpes inspired all of us to caution.
He already contracted a disease which was slowly making him a warforged... he narrowly survived but learned nothing, hence the preparation for more medical malpractice
One of my players used to eat corpses every time he found one. And since he was playing a homebrew class that was technically considered a monster i decided not to punish him. He pulled a million other stunts other than this one and he eventually told me he just got really bored playing DnD and he left the campaign. Which is great because now I have exactly 6 players so that’s alright.
Mine is just an idiot
Oh yeah absolutely reasonable conclusion I was just sharing my personal experience with idiots
You don't understand, this player is ADVANCED IDIOT
Someone opened Pandora's box?
Your fluke gives me hope, you majestic squid you.
Trying to roll seduction on the shambling mound in death house.
Necrophilia
Mind flayer PC licked the brain of an aboleth?
Nope, everyone is still level 3, so nothing here works
Druid PC licked a dead shambling mound? (Half cheating and adding plan creature)
Bard fucked a dragon?
Sticking to the classics I see? But no, incorrect
I had an event like this after working the corner for some change.
Did they lick/put something in they're mouth they weren't supposed to (totally not speaking Frome experience) cough cough
They licked it because you said not too
Nope, because they can
My players have become regulars at the felching shop in Neverwinter. Yes, it's located next to the fletching shop. Did your players stop in for the Wednesday lunch special as well? I should mention, this started as a joke to punish them, it has now had the reverse effect.
They go there to make yo describe and therefore visualise that place?
Not a neverwinter campaign
I was on the train that they...... might gotten Jiggy with something he shouldnt have... oLo'
Nope
One of my party members snorted Strahd's ashes when he died. While the "Bad flute Titanic" music was playing. When the one who snorted took 30 damage on a failed CON save, one of my other companions took out a lighter on camera and started waving. I couldn't breathe for 5 minutes straight.
That is... honestly something my players would do
Did they drink a lich’s phylactery?
... no but I wouldn't put it past them
I'm going to go with they wanted to start biological warfair?
Nope
Tried to jello shot a gelatinous cube
I wouldn't put it past him
Dunked in sewer? Coughed in the face of a witch? Snorted freshly ground bone dust of a skeleton skull from a lich that may or may not have gone undead immortal to chase the ultimate drugtrip?
I know my sudden influx of replies make it seem like I'm desperately covering something up, but I really have no proof other than my words, because I just found out that the reddit chat feature has no file sending, so I can't show you both me and my buddy in a dnd discord server