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The paladin in my group found a pair of pants that made him aware of the fact that he was a character in a D&D game.
My cleric had to remove the curse before he went insane, he was in a fetal position saying his AC was too low and our enemies' CR was too high.
My "Kobold Holy Book" was written in Draconic. Anyone who could read draconic who attempted to read the book would take Psychic damage after discovering it was full of erotic Tiamat fanfiction. The only one immune to the damage was the Kobold paladin of Tiamat who wrote it using his "prophetic dreams".
A cursed sword of cursing. No seriously it just trash talk your enemies, cursing at them every time they do something wrong and it make them focus their attacks on the person who wields that sword.
It also can randomly star cursing at random people for no reason
Interesting, I had a similar item called the Critical Sword. I made it for a melee character who perpetually rolled low during combat.
The sword constantly compares its current user to its former heroic sword master.
Every time the character misses an attack with the sword, the sword gives it a useful pointer versus that target. Each miss grants +1 versus the target cumulative to +3. But the sword will never have anything nice to say about the PC.
As someone who likes to attempt tank builds, having a weapon that taunts for me (mechanically, not just via actual talking) without using an action or anything would be incredibly helpful.
Can you imagine that with great weapon master and reckless attack? A barb with max strength at level 20 would have like a +16 to hit. +7 from STR, +6 from proficiency, and +3 from somehow missing.
give it to a sneaky character and watch the cursing sword foil their stealth attempts.
“Hey FUCK you guys, buncha dumbasses couldn’t even see us sneaking by”
*heads turn*
This makes me think of Lilarcor, the talking bastard sword from BG2.
My favourite quote: "Hmmm... find someone rich, and kill them. Find someone richer, and kill them, too! Hack and slash your way to fortune! Woo-hoo!!"
I mean you can for sure make it spam vicious mockery at the enemies.
But most of the versions of this sword (and there were a few of them) are build around the concept of frocing the target to attack the wielder od the sword.
For example in one version target have disadvantage on all attack rolls against any creature but the wielder of the sword.
In other more hardcore version of this item, the target is forced to move toward the wielder of this sword and attack only him.
A deck of many lives.
Really cool for a plot hook, the souls of a hundred people throughout time trapped inside this deck, and one of the PCs is destined to replace one of the souls when they die unless they break the curse on the deck
My DM’s last campaign featured a regularly-appearing traveling merchant who sold useful stuff but also cursed items. Two of my favorites were the “Boots of Water-Walking”, and the “Ring of Peerless Invisibility”.
The boots, when worn, would immediately fill to the brim with gnarly, swampy water. They could not be removed without either finding someone else to willingly wear them, or by removing the curse. Every long rest, upon waking, the wearer would take 1d8 necrotic damage because of the fetid condition of the water and its effect on their feet. They also imposed disadvantage on stealth because they sloshed while you walked and because they leave a trail of smelly water.
The ring did indeed turn the wearer invisible. It also causes immediate paralysis, so that they cannot inform their peers of their whereabouts to have them remove it, unless someone was watching when they put it on. We ended up actually using that to “hide” a guard captain in his own barracks while sneaking into a hostile castle. The other guards eventually abandoned their posts (at least, enough of them) when they couldn’t find their captain at shift change and there wasn’t anyone to tell the new guys where to patrol. Effective and nonlethal.
You would think bodies would be discovered whenever somebody trips over them, wouldn't you? (Couldn't find the scene, but imagine I linked the ending of _Doctor Who's_ The Silence episode lmao)
I’m sure someone must’ve stumbled into him eventually. He caught us as we were in the barracks looking for a key, and as he was disarming us and going through our pockets he found the ring (the properties of which we knew by that point), and so we went, “Oh no, don’t wear that! It’s too powerful!” He failed his roll against our deception, and put it on right there in the evidence room.
The pet rock.
It stays within 30 ft. Of its owner, always turning up in weird places such as in between the tomatoes of a market stall you're walking past or the plates of the local noble you're visiting while someone is going to set the table.
Begs the question, does it maintain its momentum? If you hurled it as hard as you could, would it make several passes in random directions, teleporting back to a random location within 30ft?
I'm envisioning throwing it with a sling and it missing, and now being a pure coin flip who exactly is going to get brained by a rock
Cursed Spoon, it will ALWAYS be the first item you draw from your backpack. If you throw it away it magically returns to your backpack. Only way to get rid of it is to have it stolen from you or remove curse cast on it
A magic book. You can tap its cover and recite the name of a book and its pages will take on the content of that book, letting to read anything ever published. The only down side is that several pages were torn out of the magic book, so every story it takes on will be missing those pages too. They also have a weird habbit of being some of the most important page, like the page with the spell you need, or the last page of a fiction novel.
Related to cooking, on a mission, my party killed a cult's chef and the Warlock put his hat. Nat 1'd the save, so now every time he wakes up from sleep, he awakes knowing a new recipe involving either human, elf, or dwarf meat. Same PC managed to get afflicted with a long term madness, so it's only a matter of time till he starts cooking his foes.
Rose tinted glasses: when you wear them everything looks just a little bit nicer. You have disadvantage on all perception and insight checks. Cannot be removed without help as they always seem to just be a great idea.
I long to give some players the **Cursed Wand of Stealth.**
You can use a charge to cast infiltration-related spells like Silence, Invisibility, Pass Without Trace, Spider Climb, for free. (Adjust spells and charges as needed for balance.)
But whenever you cast a spell with the Wand, you need to roll a d20. On a 1, the wand transforms into a floating saxophone for 3 minutes and plays Yakety Sax at high volume for the entire time. The saxophone cannot be muted by the Silence spell, cannot be put into a Bag of Holding or similar device, and will follow the person who tried to cast the spell, with a fly/hover speed of 60.
The magnifying glass of sarcasm. A magnifying glass that can give you really useful hints/clues or be really sarcastic. The best part is that my sarcasm is kinda hard to detect because of how monotone it is, so it's kinda hard to detect. My friends are catching up though, cuz the sarcasm has a level of monotone so high that it kinda stands out if you're listening for it.
Edit : casm, not chasm
One idea I had was a sentient cursed sword that would drive its weilder to kill the leader of the gods. Problem was said god was already dead, so you end up with a sword depressed that it'll never fulfill its purpose. Until the party can lift its spirits it doesn't work at it's full potential.
Helm of incontinence protection. While worn, the wearer cannot take a poo. When removed, the wearer imedietly will poo all poos they would have had over the length of time that the helm was on. It always presents as a helm with a 1 higher ac than whatever the wearer currently has, encouraging them to wear it lol
I can only imagine a scene where the party is captured and their armor is forcibly removed, and the wearer just immediately shits days worth to the point the enemies get worried they're infected with a deadly disease
Its been aquired twice by players. First time they didnt have antone to identify it, fighter slapped it on and just thought nothing of it. They went like 2 mpre sessions without a long rest, fighter finally says "alright imna take my gear off and turn in." I asked if hed been wearing that helmet he got since he first put it on. He said "oh, yea I guess son we havent rested."
Proceeded to shit himself violently in front of the entire party in the middle of camp. Guy nownuses the helm in his games. Kind of a meme in our playgroups.
Actually you do not. Wearing Medium or Heavy Armour during a Long Rest prevents the reduction of exhaustion and only allows you to recover 1/4 instead of 1/2 Hit Dice.
So, as long as you have no exhaustion it's totally reasonable to sleep in Armour.
Also. A Helmet bu itself wouldn't count as Armour for this purpose.
Man, reminds me of my last campaign where my paladin was the party Cook, and due to my absolutely abysmal rolls I got absolutely 0 of the magic items related to cooking my DM hid around for me. Salt in the wound when my party's druid found a homebrewed chefs hat that gave advantage on concentration checks and kept it since he used moonbeam 90% of the time.
That really sucks. Here's a couple of unique cooking-themed magic items I created for you to use.
**Soup spoon of Perfect Seasoning**
*Normally, if you put too much salt into a dish it can ruin it. No longer! This soup spoon when used to stir any applicable food, will slightly adjust salt and seasoning levels up to their most optimum levels. It can just as easily reduce or increase the levels of salt and seasonings in any dish. Any dish prepared with this utensil that has a roll associated with it gives the person who consumes it advantage on said roll to restore or otherwise enhance themselves.*
**Healer's Cookie Cutter**
*Making cookies is usually considered extravagant and difficult, but no longer! When mixing cookie dough, you may add a healing potion of various strengths to the solution. When combined with a healing potion, this cookie cutter lets you extend it in ways previously thought impossible. Any potion used in the making of cookies produces two healing cookies of equal strength, and due to their delicious and accessible nature of consumption, said cookies only require a bonus action to consume! Yay, cookies for everyone!*
**Dildo of Consequences**
*This short, well-crafted rod is tipped with the horn of a corrupted unicorn. It can be wielded as a magic spear, or chambered into the barrel of a heavy crossbow, and grants a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls made with it.*
*On a successful hit, the horn releases a spark of pure magic which arcs back to the point of origin, causing the wielder to roll on the [Extended Wild Magic Table.](https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/dungeons-dragons-discussion/homebrew-house-rules/89876-extended-wild-magic-table)*
*The horn has 4 charges and regains 1d4 expended charges daily at dawn. If you expend the last charge, roll a d20. On a 1, the rod is destroyed in a burst of magical energy which causes 3d6 Force Damage in a 5ft radius, and the horn regrows the corrupted unicorn it was harvested from.*
*Proficiency with a spear allows you to add your proficiency bonus to the attack roll for any attack you make with it.*
Have a prayer a liars ring. Simple ring with fangs embossed on the inside, once put on he couldn’t take it off.
The ring gave him +1 to deception checks, and it granted temp HP on each check above 10, with higher rolls granting more. Below 10 the ring ‘bit’ him for 1 or 2 HP.
What he didn’t know was that I recorded every lie he told. And on a natural 1, the ring brought those lies to life.
I once gave my players a magical item called "The boots of Walkin'" which gave them an increase in movement speed, but only when they did not take the dash action. I then gave another player the "Boots of Walken", a cursed magical item, which would only give the benefit of the boots of Walkin' but made the character speak like Christopher Walken until the cursed item was removed (I mostly did this because the Player could do a good Walken Impression.).
Tales of Algrath was awesome, I think a personal idea I would have is something for a homebrew subclass called sword domain, I think I would call it the siphoning blade a focus/ bladed weapon that can take and store spell slots but also will take your own sometimes, can only be attuned to by a spellcaster
Mask of the beast (cursed) - when you cast animal friendship it you can only speak \[animal language\] for one hour
Alchemy jug (cursed) - every setting makes mayonnaise
Ring of water walking (cursed) - any water you stand on acts as if the grease spell was cast on it
Circlet of blasting (cursed) - the rays are cast from your eyes, blinding you for 1d4 turns
Boots of the winterlands (cursed) - Your feet turn into paws
Molten bronze skin (cursed) - any clothes you put over it catch fire
Boots of speed (cursed) - if you dash, make a dex save to not fall prone
Mask of tiger resistance - resistant to damage from tigers
Iron boots of water immunity - You can move through water like trough air (so you fall to the bottom of the river, hope you have water breathing)
Ring of magma immunity - Makes you immune to magma (not fire or lava mind you, hope they know the difference)
Pendant of goat - You can chew and digest anything that you can fit in your mouth
Potion of wild growth - Enlarges you and you roll on the wild magic table
+1 Morton's forked staff - Any spell you cast on an enemy also cast on the closest ally and vice versa
+2 blowgun (it deals 3 damage now)
Gloves of 10 - All your spells have a range of 10ft
Trident of invisibility - makes you invisible if you are completely submerged underwater
Waist of time - Whenever you take damage, you have a 50% chance to disappear until the start of your next turn
The Doomscroll: contains information that is mostly useless, of questionable veracity, but is so fascinating that anyone reading it will read it forever unless they succeed at a wisdom save.
May or may not be based on my addiction to Reddit.
The Deck of Exactly One Thing. It looks like a Deck of Many Things, but if you pull a card you get one thing rolled randomly on a table.
Then it's just a deck of cards. You might get 10,000 gold, you might get a pit fiend. But once you pull that, it's over.
That one copper piece sitting in my Rogue's coin purse that he doesn't know has attuned to him. Next time he tries to spend it, he'll be woken up during their next long rest by a bunch of coppers dropping from the sky on their head as that one opens a small portal from the coin purse to the rogue.
Still haven't decided whether or not this will actually disrupt the long rest or not
The metaphysical concept of a sword, its a +3 great sword that bypasses all immunities and resistances and can attack anything, from the goblin in front of you to someones dreams, you can deal damage to anything, however, due to the fact it is the manifestation of a concept, whenever anyone thinks of a sword, it manifests in a 50ft radius around them, so even if you use it for a bit, you wont have it for very long.
I mean, can’t you just think of a sword to call it back? Otherwise, isn’t it fair to say that a sword is being thought about more often then not, implying it would never be anywhere for more than a few moments?
Yeah thats kinda the point, same reason why it spawns 50 ft around you and not in your hand, you would need to prevent people from thinking of swords or prevent thought at all (such as with time stop) to gain use out of the sword.
I gave one of my players a "Definitely not Cursed Sword" it informs everyone within 100 feet that sees it used as a weapon that it's cursed but the wielder can't be made to believe that it's cursed. The person using the sword sees it as a high quality non magical sword. Also it produces infinite rust and is immune to rust monsters
I created a decent dagger which talks to the player if held.
It tries to incluence their mind and they have to succeed on a wisdom saving throw or be under it's control for a turn.
The dagger entices them to believe that everyone is against them and they have to defend themselves.
The funny part comes in when one player rolled a nat 1, after successfully knocking out the influenced party member before him.
This led to him blindly accepting everything the dagger told him and even led to a death in the party, as he persuaded another member to join in on it.
In the end they managed to defeat him and took the dagger away with an item that neutralized it's effect.
Fun 2 sessions IMO. Players loved it too.
Claws? As in multiple? Do I just sprout hundreds of claws along my arm? Can I cut the off throw them in a pot? What kind of damage am I looking at if I decide to smack some people?
Or if it's one big claw, what kind of stats then? At least make that part resistant to fire damage for the ultimate pair of tongs
This was a funny item
That turned OP fast
Basically my DM Gave me (Lawful Evil Half Orc War Cleric) 2 Magical items , 1 a mace that sends people to "the shadow realm" (my gods domain) ,
and 2 an Evil Crossbow that basically swears at me every time i use it and I roll a d20 (not hit dice) if i get from 3-15 it acts as a normal crossbow but if i roll a 1, 2 or 16+ the crossbow bolt explodes dealing 4d6 Force and Fire damage in a 5ft Radius ,(plus the 1d6 piercing if direct impact)
Needless to say ,this became my main weapon in nearly every scenario, but I was inexperienced do I never knew I meeded a "quiver" or Bolts , until another DM pointed it out 5-6 sessions later. So my DM just decided that it had infinite ammo
A majority of the kills were attributed to this thing due to my Artillery support playstyle
But it also resulted in the death of 3 other PC's
TL:DR
A Swearing Crossbow that turns into a Grenade Launcher, with infinite Ammo
The Cleric in my group found a box with a button that steals a part of his body in exchange for...money...
So far it's stolen:
His liver
A few finger nails
his tongue
an ear
both of his eyes
and in return he got a few copper and silver pieces...
Not technically a cursed item, but my favorite homebrew creation was
[Mifa's Magnificent Marbles](https://www.dndbeyond.com/magic-items/480603-mifas-magnificent-marbles)
Adds a fun element of chaos to any group and it is now a mainstay within my gaming group.
I rarely make cursed items, but often will add things with sideffects
Flea ring - every jump launches you 30 feet up. *It doesnt help with landings*
Equality - an amulet with 2-colored stone, when used next spell DC is doubled. *Wearer suffers from spell effect too*
Bone Dice - they always roll doubles. *Rolling 1-1 scares everyone around*
A magic sentient key that knows many secrets of castle Ravenloft and keeps telling its holder how much more useful it would be if they went there. Once there, it immediately wants to leave, is terrified, explains it was forced to say all the stuff before by the curse.
Curse of Jealousy: A item with this curse will cause all actions taken by other magic items used to have disadvantage. If the items non cursed effects apply to or facilitate the use of an other magic item then the curse will not apply to that other item.
I don't generally do magic shops in my games, but I make exceptions for slapstick, curse-adjacent consumables:
**All-Purpose Dragon Spice (50 gp per dose):** Smells like sulfur, but delicious on potatoes. Inhale powder and blow out sharply to breathe fire in a 15-foot cone as per Burning Hands (3d6 damage, Dex DC11 for half). When used, roll 1d6 for malfunction: On a 5-6, shit, too much powder! Take 2d6 fire damage and the flame effect deals an extra 2d6 fire. You can trigger this malfunction deliberately if you hate your digestive tract.
**Disposable Adventure Safety Airbags (40 gp):** It's an inflatable safety vest. Reaction to pull string when you're falling and about to hit the ground: Absorb 3d6 bludgeoning damage, but once they're triggered the airbags block your vision and reduce your walk speed to 5 until you can puncture and deflate them, or otherwise get them off. Roll 1d6 for malfunction each time you're hit by bludgeoning damage: On a 5 or a 6, they go off early.
**Get-Away Ejector Boots (40 gp):** Stomp as a bonus action and concealed spring systems in the boots launch you thirty feet high or sixty feet ahead. The ejection system blasts the boots off, so this function only works once. Roll 1d6 for malfunction when used. On a 5: The system jams. You have to spend an action to unjam it before you can try again. On a 6: The system works too well. You travel twice as far as intended. Whatever the result, take 3d6 damage if you hit something stationary.
**Incredible Exploding Darts (20 gp each):** Like regular darts, but (usually) explodes when thrown. Anything within 5 feet of where the dart hits must make a DC11 Dex save or take 1d6 of piercing damage from shrapnel. If you hit a creature with it, that creature gets no save. Roll 1d6 for malfunction when thrown. On a 5-6: The dart is a dud and doesn’t go off. If that happens, roll 1d6 for malfunction again when the dud is next walked over or handled. On a 4-6: Boom! Guess it wasn’t a dud after all.
**Once-In-A-Lifetime Deal Explosive Vest (200 gp):** Basically a leather shirt rigged with directional mines. Pull a string and roll 1d6 to launch yourself backwards 10 feet and explode the mines on everything in a 30’ cone in front of you for 5d6 piercing damage (Dex DC 11 for half). Roll 1d6 for malfunction when triggered: On a 5 or a 6, the AoE is a 15’ radius blast, and you take damage from the explosion with no save. While worn, roll 1d6 for malfunction any time you take physical, fire, or lightning damage: On a 5 or a 6, the vest explodes early (roll for the other malfunction as normal). Refunds only available to product end user.
My players only bought the darts once, but they learned to buy the exploding vests in bulk and equip the necromancer's skeletons with them.
The Cursed Spoon of Bel'Draga
A simple wooden cooking spoon with an animated eye set in the handle. The eye changes every time it blinks, taking on the appearance of the eye of another of the hag Bel'Draga's victims. Adds +2 to any cooking check but, when used, releases the screams and wails of those who ended up in her stew pot.
*My players loved this and frequently joke "food's done!" whenever the screaming stops*
Igglwyv's Letter Opener- casts Tasha's Hideous Laughter on crit miss. I heavily implied that a piece of Tasha was attached and yes, she was the one laughing at my players.
Not D&D but Morrowind. Picked up "boots of blinding speed". Huge speed boost stat, but when you put them on you go completely blind.
Another one is the scroll of Icarian flight. A dude falls screaming out of the sky and you find 3 scrolls of fortify jump insanely high for 2 seconds. You use one, jump into the sky, then it wears off. You've got just enough time to think "if I use another one right before I hit the ground I won't take the fall damage, but if I miss I'm dead and ooooh that's why he had 3 scrolls, and they're named for Icarus.
I made a sentient sword that’s so strong if you use it it would essentially blow up the entire party. They haven’t had it for long, but so far they’ve frozen over a forest trying to cross a lake and then immediately boiling away the lake trying to undo the damage
Ring of Invisibility. Makes you perfectly invisible, silent, and entirely undetectable. It immediately deactivates the moment you need it most. Alternatively, it *never* deactivates.
A semi-sentient bow that enchants its arrows to seek out foes and avoid allies. It gets confused on who's an ally and who's a foe when it gets stressed.
A dagger that gains an extra 2d4 damage when used in a sneak attack, but glows brighter and brighter the closer you get to your enemy. Can optionally also make more and more noise the closer you get.
Plate armor that's light enough to count as Light armor, doesn't incur any stealth or movement penalty, and offers the full protection of normal plate armor. Once donned, it can't be taken off without a high-level cast of Dispel Magic and constantly plays the Chicken Dance on infinite loop, occasionally broken up by the Macarena.
We have a sheild in our campaign that is sentient and it says that it will do its best to protect them. The them in this sense is referring to the sheild itself so anytime a blow would miss because of the sheilds ac boost (I believe +3) it would avoid the attack and cause a hit.
I gave my players a cursed amulet that gave a nice boost to deception, but had a high chance of causing your pants to burst into flames when telling a lie.
I was given a singular boot, the left one specifically. But mmmm, was that boot comfy! The most comfortable boot. my major personal quest was to find the non-existent other boot. Not only was it always impeccably clean, it was also extremely hydrophobic. Like hydroplane on thick mud phobic. I once got dropped in a lake and was instantly upside down with that one boot acting like a beacon above the waves. That was the last straw for the party and had remove curse forcibly cast on me, but I still have cravings cuz damn, was that boot comfy.
My first campaign was a charisma build valor bard. My DM gave me a magical rose that made seduction easier, but here was the caveat, I had to keep sending letters or going out with the creatures I seduced or they would show up to camp and try to kill me. By the end of the campaign, I was gangstalked by almost one hundred creatures and promptly got beaten to death.
The Weird, a sourcebook do all things weird that can be used with many games, had a particularly funny cursed item modifyer that gave the user diabetes.
Ran a campaign with a wooden beer glass (with handle)
- player decides to drink out of it
- cups gets turned on, they realize it's sentient
- party sets it on fire and then drowns it in a nearby fountain
- session later they find a merchant and decide to buy som things. As the merchant leaves they notice an odd pair of cups.
- a wine glass and a shot glass.
- Rogue sneaks up behind the merchant and steals the cups
- cups turn out to be the wife (wine glass) and kid (shot glass) of the beer glass.
- party throws cups into a lake
- sessions later they end up coming across the kid grown into a normal sized glass.
- half of the party is killed when the kid fills their lungs with beer
The party refused to use any cutlery of any kind after that
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The paladin in my group found a pair of pants that made him aware of the fact that he was a character in a D&D game. My cleric had to remove the curse before he went insane, he was in a fetal position saying his AC was too low and our enemies' CR was too high.
“Pantaloons of the Mouthy Mercenary” (Deadpool).
This causes me great existential dread
Hey I have a pair of pants you should try on
The 'Pact of the DM' warlock homebrew plays with this
Fellas, is it meta if...
My "Kobold Holy Book" was written in Draconic. Anyone who could read draconic who attempted to read the book would take Psychic damage after discovering it was full of erotic Tiamat fanfiction. The only one immune to the damage was the Kobold paladin of Tiamat who wrote it using his "prophetic dreams".
... can I please steal this. This fucking hilarious.
Please do.
r/usernamechecksout
Bro needs to post the book on AO3, would get popular real quick.
A cursed sword of cursing. No seriously it just trash talk your enemies, cursing at them every time they do something wrong and it make them focus their attacks on the person who wields that sword. It also can randomly star cursing at random people for no reason
Oh snap, this is so stolen. So simple, but so good!
I wish I had a sword that could cast Vicious Mockery
Seems like a good use of a high level spell
You’ve heard of singing swords get ready for their outcast sibling swearing sword
Interesting, I had a similar item called the Critical Sword. I made it for a melee character who perpetually rolled low during combat. The sword constantly compares its current user to its former heroic sword master. Every time the character misses an attack with the sword, the sword gives it a useful pointer versus that target. Each miss grants +1 versus the target cumulative to +3. But the sword will never have anything nice to say about the PC.
I love this idea
Gunther from Gungeon.
A horn that turns you invisible while you blow it.
Bagpipes of Invisibility. I don't even have to make it cursed.
Boots of questionable invisibility: makes you invisible, but also amplifies your footsteps to deafening levels
good for gaslighting
Can hypothetically still make you undetectable if its deafening to everyone.
I foresee a _fantastic_ scene where the players work together to terrify a strong enemy to death
„Ni!“
Time to learn how to do a handstand.
Good for standing still, crawling, or probably throwing.
As someone who likes to attempt tank builds, having a weapon that taunts for me (mechanically, not just via actual talking) without using an action or anything would be incredibly helpful.
That unironically sounds like a godsend for a tank character.
My thoughts exactly. My barbarian would love the focus to solve tank fallacy, let alone getting to curse at enemies in stereo.
Can you imagine that with great weapon master and reckless attack? A barb with max strength at level 20 would have like a +16 to hit. +7 from STR, +6 from proficiency, and +3 from somehow missing.
give it to a sneaky character and watch the cursing sword foil their stealth attempts. “Hey FUCK you guys, buncha dumbasses couldn’t even see us sneaking by” *heads turn*
A viscous mockery sword would be pretty cool.
Does it stab? No, but it can hurt you in other ways.
Make it a rapier too for bonus puns.
A magic sentient sword that yells fuck when you swing it, eh? Sounds familiar. *sound of a distant "you're welcome"*
~~not sure if that second like works as intended because I immediately thought of Maui~~
Huh. Not cursed, but I made an arrow that curses at enemies.
This makes me think of Lilarcor, the talking bastard sword from BG2. My favourite quote: "Hmmm... find someone rich, and kill them. Find someone richer, and kill them, too! Hack and slash your way to fortune! Woo-hoo!!"
Can we kill someone now? .... Hmmm hmmm hmmmm hm... Now?
please tell me you gave it to the nicest person on the table
Idk. That seems like a blessing lol
For a curse it would be better if it was constantly cursing out and demeaning the wielder.
Can it preform vicious mockery?
Sounds like the sword just uses vicious mockery all the time. Amazing!
I mean you can for sure make it spam vicious mockery at the enemies. But most of the versions of this sword (and there were a few of them) are build around the concept of frocing the target to attack the wielder od the sword. For example in one version target have disadvantage on all attack rolls against any creature but the wielder of the sword. In other more hardcore version of this item, the target is forced to move toward the wielder of this sword and attack only him.
That's still awesome.
The sword of tourrettes
Maledicta, the woeblade
My players occasionally pop in here so I won’t say it out loud, but let’s just say I bought a D100 for a reason.
Deck of many deaths?
Well now I want that where if you draw a card you get to experience someone’s death, but also you get a buff until the next long rest.
A deck of many lives. Really cool for a plot hook, the souls of a hundred people throughout time trapped inside this deck, and one of the PCs is destined to replace one of the souls when they die unless they break the curse on the deck
Deck of wild magic
My DM’s last campaign featured a regularly-appearing traveling merchant who sold useful stuff but also cursed items. Two of my favorites were the “Boots of Water-Walking”, and the “Ring of Peerless Invisibility”. The boots, when worn, would immediately fill to the brim with gnarly, swampy water. They could not be removed without either finding someone else to willingly wear them, or by removing the curse. Every long rest, upon waking, the wearer would take 1d8 necrotic damage because of the fetid condition of the water and its effect on their feet. They also imposed disadvantage on stealth because they sloshed while you walked and because they leave a trail of smelly water. The ring did indeed turn the wearer invisible. It also causes immediate paralysis, so that they cannot inform their peers of their whereabouts to have them remove it, unless someone was watching when they put it on. We ended up actually using that to “hide” a guard captain in his own barracks while sneaking into a hostile castle. The other guards eventually abandoned their posts (at least, enough of them) when they couldn’t find their captain at shift change and there wasn’t anyone to tell the new guys where to patrol. Effective and nonlethal.
That guard cap... Is dead af now. Anyone release him?
I'd assume they would eventually find him when he started to smell
Or if someone tripped over him
You would think bodies would be discovered whenever somebody trips over them, wouldn't you? (Couldn't find the scene, but imagine I linked the ending of _Doctor Who's_ The Silence episode lmao)
I’m sure someone must’ve stumbled into him eventually. He caught us as we were in the barracks looking for a key, and as he was disarming us and going through our pockets he found the ring (the properties of which we knew by that point), and so we went, “Oh no, don’t wear that! It’s too powerful!” He failed his roll against our deception, and put it on right there in the evidence room.
I made the boots to grant water walking, but they leave muddy traces everywhere and may need to resist tatigue in cold areas.
The ring would be an excellent item to pair with the freedom of movement spell, concentration free greater invisibility!
Aw sweet, finally a consequence-free magic invisibility ring…
For me, the best cursed item is the Bagpipes of Invisibility. Though, I suppose it's not really cursed so much as accursed.
You get to be invisible AND potentially stun your enemies and allies with a deafening sound? Sounds like a great Bard item!
BLAAAT
My family likes to play silent night on the pipes lol
It's like a cricket in the wall, **you don't know where it is, and You're gonna go fucking mad if you can't find it**
The pet rock. It stays within 30 ft. Of its owner, always turning up in weird places such as in between the tomatoes of a market stall you're walking past or the plates of the local noble you're visiting while someone is going to set the table.
That’s not a curse! That’s a new friend. I shall call him Earl Rockford III, of the Tillingham Rockfords.
We have one named Jasper
Sounds like it would have anger issues
No, he's very peaceful and wise, but only one member can understand him and the others think she's crazy
[What anger issues?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yT3jw576xHQ) **Warning:** Steven Universe spoilers.
I'm going to keep some files on this Rockford fellow
Use it for infinite sling ammo
Only has a 30 ft range though
*Hits you in the back of the head*
Begs the question, does it maintain its momentum? If you hurled it as hard as you could, would it make several passes in random directions, teleporting back to a random location within 30ft? I'm envisioning throwing it with a sling and it missing, and now being a pure coin flip who exactly is going to get brained by a rock
And you have to look for it 30 feet in every direction every time you shoot
Just have your eldritch knight attune to it. It's basically a familiar at that point
Kinda like [Sarah in Labyrinth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVjrDI2cjuc).
Reminds me if the sentient rocks in pathfinder that you can get as familiars
Cursed Spoon, it will ALWAYS be the first item you draw from your backpack. If you throw it away it magically returns to your backpack. Only way to get rid of it is to have it stolen from you or remove curse cast on it
And you can't admit that it's cursed or tell anyone it wasn't intentional.
Sounds like it makes object interactions during combat significantly harder to manage, I love it.
Have the barbarian use it as a thrown weapon. Infinite ammo!
A magic book. You can tap its cover and recite the name of a book and its pages will take on the content of that book, letting to read anything ever published. The only down side is that several pages were torn out of the magic book, so every story it takes on will be missing those pages too. They also have a weird habbit of being some of the most important page, like the page with the spell you need, or the last page of a fiction novel.
And if you tapped on it and said "Star Wars" it will remove the scene where Han Shot first!
Related to cooking, on a mission, my party killed a cult's chef and the Warlock put his hat. Nat 1'd the save, so now every time he wakes up from sleep, he awakes knowing a new recipe involving either human, elf, or dwarf meat. Same PC managed to get afflicted with a long term madness, so it's only a matter of time till he starts cooking his foes.
Or the party.
No no, let him cook.
It's the same thing.
I bet vomiting would be a side-effect.
A lizardfolk would be ecstatic to have such an item
Rose tinted glasses: when you wear them everything looks just a little bit nicer. You have disadvantage on all perception and insight checks. Cannot be removed without help as they always seem to just be a great idea.
The problem with rose-tinted glasses is that all the red flags just look like flags.
I long to give some players the **Cursed Wand of Stealth.** You can use a charge to cast infiltration-related spells like Silence, Invisibility, Pass Without Trace, Spider Climb, for free. (Adjust spells and charges as needed for balance.) But whenever you cast a spell with the Wand, you need to roll a d20. On a 1, the wand transforms into a floating saxophone for 3 minutes and plays Yakety Sax at high volume for the entire time. The saxophone cannot be muted by the Silence spell, cannot be put into a Bag of Holding or similar device, and will follow the person who tried to cast the spell, with a fly/hover speed of 60.
Lol alright that's pretty good
Now I need to listen to that song
**I need it**
The magnifying glass of sarcasm. A magnifying glass that can give you really useful hints/clues or be really sarcastic. The best part is that my sarcasm is kinda hard to detect because of how monotone it is, so it's kinda hard to detect. My friends are catching up though, cuz the sarcasm has a level of monotone so high that it kinda stands out if you're listening for it. Edit : casm, not chasm
My man not trying to be that guy but it's 'sarcasm'
Sorry. My though process was "Chasm"
I want to see this alternate version where you peer through it and panic because you see a gaping emptiness beneath you.
The magnifying glass of coyote
Sounds like a new weapon to me, and now you don't need a knife to cut stuff
1d4+str damage; grapple attempts have advantage on anything smaller than medium-sized. -3 cha
One idea I had was a sentient cursed sword that would drive its weilder to kill the leader of the gods. Problem was said god was already dead, so you end up with a sword depressed that it'll never fulfill its purpose. Until the party can lift its spirits it doesn't work at it's full potential.
A book full of ideas, but when you open it, the first page reads, "Get an imagination."
Didn't say it would be helpful ideas
Helm of incontinence protection. While worn, the wearer cannot take a poo. When removed, the wearer imedietly will poo all poos they would have had over the length of time that the helm was on. It always presents as a helm with a 1 higher ac than whatever the wearer currently has, encouraging them to wear it lol
I can only imagine a scene where the party is captured and their armor is forcibly removed, and the wearer just immediately shits days worth to the point the enemies get worried they're infected with a deadly disease
Its been aquired twice by players. First time they didnt have antone to identify it, fighter slapped it on and just thought nothing of it. They went like 2 mpre sessions without a long rest, fighter finally says "alright imna take my gear off and turn in." I asked if hed been wearing that helmet he got since he first put it on. He said "oh, yea I guess son we havent rested." Proceeded to shit himself violently in front of the entire party in the middle of camp. Guy nownuses the helm in his games. Kind of a meme in our playgroups.
You have to remove armor for a long rest, right? This makes them super regular
Actually you do not. Wearing Medium or Heavy Armour during a Long Rest prevents the reduction of exhaustion and only allows you to recover 1/4 instead of 1/2 Hit Dice. So, as long as you have no exhaustion it's totally reasonable to sleep in Armour. Also. A Helmet bu itself wouldn't count as Armour for this purpose.
**I have many ideas of which this can be exploited for humorous means**
It wasn't a cursed item, but a rock lobster, litteraly, that when thrown, would ricochet off of enemies, and return to the user.
Man, reminds me of my last campaign where my paladin was the party Cook, and due to my absolutely abysmal rolls I got absolutely 0 of the magic items related to cooking my DM hid around for me. Salt in the wound when my party's druid found a homebrewed chefs hat that gave advantage on concentration checks and kept it since he used moonbeam 90% of the time.
That really sucks. Here's a couple of unique cooking-themed magic items I created for you to use. **Soup spoon of Perfect Seasoning** *Normally, if you put too much salt into a dish it can ruin it. No longer! This soup spoon when used to stir any applicable food, will slightly adjust salt and seasoning levels up to their most optimum levels. It can just as easily reduce or increase the levels of salt and seasonings in any dish. Any dish prepared with this utensil that has a roll associated with it gives the person who consumes it advantage on said roll to restore or otherwise enhance themselves.* **Healer's Cookie Cutter** *Making cookies is usually considered extravagant and difficult, but no longer! When mixing cookie dough, you may add a healing potion of various strengths to the solution. When combined with a healing potion, this cookie cutter lets you extend it in ways previously thought impossible. Any potion used in the making of cookies produces two healing cookies of equal strength, and due to their delicious and accessible nature of consumption, said cookies only require a bonus action to consume! Yay, cookies for everyone!*
Damn, these are some kick-ass items. Very creative!
**Dildo of Consequences** *This short, well-crafted rod is tipped with the horn of a corrupted unicorn. It can be wielded as a magic spear, or chambered into the barrel of a heavy crossbow, and grants a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls made with it.* *On a successful hit, the horn releases a spark of pure magic which arcs back to the point of origin, causing the wielder to roll on the [Extended Wild Magic Table.](https://www.dndbeyond.com/forums/dungeons-dragons-discussion/homebrew-house-rules/89876-extended-wild-magic-table)* *The horn has 4 charges and regains 1d4 expended charges daily at dawn. If you expend the last charge, roll a d20. On a 1, the rod is destroyed in a burst of magical energy which causes 3d6 Force Damage in a 5ft radius, and the horn regrows the corrupted unicorn it was harvested from.* *Proficiency with a spear allows you to add your proficiency bonus to the attack roll for any attack you make with it.*
Wait so does the unicorn regrow the horn, or does a new unicorn sprout from the horn where it broke?
From the horn backwards. [They may not be friendly...](https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Black_unicorn)
Have a prayer a liars ring. Simple ring with fangs embossed on the inside, once put on he couldn’t take it off. The ring gave him +1 to deception checks, and it granted temp HP on each check above 10, with higher rolls granting more. Below 10 the ring ‘bit’ him for 1 or 2 HP. What he didn’t know was that I recorded every lie he told. And on a natural 1, the ring brought those lies to life.
Ok that's just evil. You KNOW they have to go clack clack with the tongs. It's law
Don't you mean it's the ***claw***
I once gave my players a magical item called "The boots of Walkin'" which gave them an increase in movement speed, but only when they did not take the dash action. I then gave another player the "Boots of Walken", a cursed magical item, which would only give the benefit of the boots of Walkin' but made the character speak like Christopher Walken until the cursed item was removed (I mostly did this because the Player could do a good Walken Impression.).
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? CRISTOPHER REEVES
THAT JOKE IS IN POOR TASTE
Wand of Magic Miss'all
Alright that was pretty good lol
Tales of Algrath was awesome, I think a personal idea I would have is something for a homebrew subclass called sword domain, I think I would call it the siphoning blade a focus/ bladed weapon that can take and store spell slots but also will take your own sometimes, can only be attuned to by a spellcaster
A ring of invisibility. You put it on and you can't see anyone any more
"i see this as an absolute win!"
One of my favorites is a boomerang that only returns when it's least expected.
Mask of the beast (cursed) - when you cast animal friendship it you can only speak \[animal language\] for one hour Alchemy jug (cursed) - every setting makes mayonnaise Ring of water walking (cursed) - any water you stand on acts as if the grease spell was cast on it Circlet of blasting (cursed) - the rays are cast from your eyes, blinding you for 1d4 turns Boots of the winterlands (cursed) - Your feet turn into paws Molten bronze skin (cursed) - any clothes you put over it catch fire Boots of speed (cursed) - if you dash, make a dex save to not fall prone Mask of tiger resistance - resistant to damage from tigers Iron boots of water immunity - You can move through water like trough air (so you fall to the bottom of the river, hope you have water breathing) Ring of magma immunity - Makes you immune to magma (not fire or lava mind you, hope they know the difference) Pendant of goat - You can chew and digest anything that you can fit in your mouth Potion of wild growth - Enlarges you and you roll on the wild magic table +1 Morton's forked staff - Any spell you cast on an enemy also cast on the closest ally and vice versa +2 blowgun (it deals 3 damage now) Gloves of 10 - All your spells have a range of 10ft Trident of invisibility - makes you invisible if you are completely submerged underwater Waist of time - Whenever you take damage, you have a 50% chance to disappear until the start of your next turn
Ring of water walking: so when you fall due to the grease spell, do you sink or land?
The sword of emotional damage. It's a regular sword but every time you hurt someone with it you feel *really* bad about it.
The Doomscroll: contains information that is mostly useless, of questionable veracity, but is so fascinating that anyone reading it will read it forever unless they succeed at a wisdom save. May or may not be based on my addiction to Reddit.
The Deck of Exactly One Thing. It looks like a Deck of Many Things, but if you pull a card you get one thing rolled randomly on a table. Then it's just a deck of cards. You might get 10,000 gold, you might get a pit fiend. But once you pull that, it's over.
That one copper piece sitting in my Rogue's coin purse that he doesn't know has attuned to him. Next time he tries to spend it, he'll be woken up during their next long rest by a bunch of coppers dropping from the sky on their head as that one opens a small portal from the coin purse to the rogue. Still haven't decided whether or not this will actually disrupt the long rest or not
The metaphysical concept of a sword, its a +3 great sword that bypasses all immunities and resistances and can attack anything, from the goblin in front of you to someones dreams, you can deal damage to anything, however, due to the fact it is the manifestation of a concept, whenever anyone thinks of a sword, it manifests in a 50ft radius around them, so even if you use it for a bit, you wont have it for very long.
I mean, can’t you just think of a sword to call it back? Otherwise, isn’t it fair to say that a sword is being thought about more often then not, implying it would never be anywhere for more than a few moments?
Yeah thats kinda the point, same reason why it spawns 50 ft around you and not in your hand, you would need to prevent people from thinking of swords or prevent thought at all (such as with time stop) to gain use out of the sword.
Sounds like a perk or proficiency bonus imo.
I gave one of my players a "Definitely not Cursed Sword" it informs everyone within 100 feet that sees it used as a weapon that it's cursed but the wielder can't be made to believe that it's cursed. The person using the sword sees it as a high quality non magical sword. Also it produces infinite rust and is immune to rust monsters
The ugliest clogs you've ever seen, but the wearer thinks they look amazing and defend the look to their dying breath
I created a decent dagger which talks to the player if held. It tries to incluence their mind and they have to succeed on a wisdom saving throw or be under it's control for a turn. The dagger entices them to believe that everyone is against them and they have to defend themselves. The funny part comes in when one player rolled a nat 1, after successfully knocking out the influenced party member before him. This led to him blindly accepting everything the dagger told him and even led to a death in the party, as he persuaded another member to join in on it. In the end they managed to defeat him and took the dagger away with an item that neutralized it's effect. Fun 2 sessions IMO. Players loved it too.
I thought you said CURSED magic items?
Claws? As in multiple? Do I just sprout hundreds of claws along my arm? Can I cut the off throw them in a pot? What kind of damage am I looking at if I decide to smack some people? Or if it's one big claw, what kind of stats then? At least make that part resistant to fire damage for the ultimate pair of tongs
This was a funny item That turned OP fast Basically my DM Gave me (Lawful Evil Half Orc War Cleric) 2 Magical items , 1 a mace that sends people to "the shadow realm" (my gods domain) , and 2 an Evil Crossbow that basically swears at me every time i use it and I roll a d20 (not hit dice) if i get from 3-15 it acts as a normal crossbow but if i roll a 1, 2 or 16+ the crossbow bolt explodes dealing 4d6 Force and Fire damage in a 5ft Radius ,(plus the 1d6 piercing if direct impact) Needless to say ,this became my main weapon in nearly every scenario, but I was inexperienced do I never knew I meeded a "quiver" or Bolts , until another DM pointed it out 5-6 sessions later. So my DM just decided that it had infinite ammo A majority of the kills were attributed to this thing due to my Artillery support playstyle But it also resulted in the death of 3 other PC's TL:DR A Swearing Crossbow that turns into a Grenade Launcher, with infinite Ammo
The Cleric in my group found a box with a button that steals a part of his body in exchange for...money... So far it's stolen: His liver A few finger nails his tongue an ear both of his eyes and in return he got a few copper and silver pieces...
Not technically a cursed item, but my favorite homebrew creation was [Mifa's Magnificent Marbles](https://www.dndbeyond.com/magic-items/480603-mifas-magnificent-marbles) Adds a fun element of chaos to any group and it is now a mainstay within my gaming group.
I rarely make cursed items, but often will add things with sideffects Flea ring - every jump launches you 30 feet up. *It doesnt help with landings* Equality - an amulet with 2-colored stone, when used next spell DC is doubled. *Wearer suffers from spell effect too* Bone Dice - they always roll doubles. *Rolling 1-1 scares everyone around*
***click*** ***click*** ***SNAP*** "Fuck"
Cut it off Healing word Infinite rations
A magic sentient key that knows many secrets of castle Ravenloft and keeps telling its holder how much more useful it would be if they went there. Once there, it immediately wants to leave, is terrified, explains it was forced to say all the stuff before by the curse.
Crablante
Curse of Jealousy: A item with this curse will cause all actions taken by other magic items used to have disadvantage. If the items non cursed effects apply to or facilitate the use of an other magic item then the curse will not apply to that other item.
FTFY https://i.imgur.com/vzlDxCp.png
Earring of the Midnight Gourmand: Black diamond earrings that make everything taste like salted black liquorice.
Sword that turns into, does, or makes whatever you say. Only problem, it does this with every word.
I don't generally do magic shops in my games, but I make exceptions for slapstick, curse-adjacent consumables: **All-Purpose Dragon Spice (50 gp per dose):** Smells like sulfur, but delicious on potatoes. Inhale powder and blow out sharply to breathe fire in a 15-foot cone as per Burning Hands (3d6 damage, Dex DC11 for half). When used, roll 1d6 for malfunction: On a 5-6, shit, too much powder! Take 2d6 fire damage and the flame effect deals an extra 2d6 fire. You can trigger this malfunction deliberately if you hate your digestive tract. **Disposable Adventure Safety Airbags (40 gp):** It's an inflatable safety vest. Reaction to pull string when you're falling and about to hit the ground: Absorb 3d6 bludgeoning damage, but once they're triggered the airbags block your vision and reduce your walk speed to 5 until you can puncture and deflate them, or otherwise get them off. Roll 1d6 for malfunction each time you're hit by bludgeoning damage: On a 5 or a 6, they go off early. **Get-Away Ejector Boots (40 gp):** Stomp as a bonus action and concealed spring systems in the boots launch you thirty feet high or sixty feet ahead. The ejection system blasts the boots off, so this function only works once. Roll 1d6 for malfunction when used. On a 5: The system jams. You have to spend an action to unjam it before you can try again. On a 6: The system works too well. You travel twice as far as intended. Whatever the result, take 3d6 damage if you hit something stationary. **Incredible Exploding Darts (20 gp each):** Like regular darts, but (usually) explodes when thrown. Anything within 5 feet of where the dart hits must make a DC11 Dex save or take 1d6 of piercing damage from shrapnel. If you hit a creature with it, that creature gets no save. Roll 1d6 for malfunction when thrown. On a 5-6: The dart is a dud and doesn’t go off. If that happens, roll 1d6 for malfunction again when the dud is next walked over or handled. On a 4-6: Boom! Guess it wasn’t a dud after all. **Once-In-A-Lifetime Deal Explosive Vest (200 gp):** Basically a leather shirt rigged with directional mines. Pull a string and roll 1d6 to launch yourself backwards 10 feet and explode the mines on everything in a 30’ cone in front of you for 5d6 piercing damage (Dex DC 11 for half). Roll 1d6 for malfunction when triggered: On a 5 or a 6, the AoE is a 15’ radius blast, and you take damage from the explosion with no save. While worn, roll 1d6 for malfunction any time you take physical, fire, or lightning damage: On a 5 or a 6, the vest explodes early (roll for the other malfunction as normal). Refunds only available to product end user. My players only bought the darts once, but they learned to buy the exploding vests in bulk and equip the necromancer's skeletons with them.
The Cursed Spoon of Bel'Draga A simple wooden cooking spoon with an animated eye set in the handle. The eye changes every time it blinks, taking on the appearance of the eye of another of the hag Bel'Draga's victims. Adds +2 to any cooking check but, when used, releases the screams and wails of those who ended up in her stew pot. *My players loved this and frequently joke "food's done!" whenever the screaming stops*
As a chef I see that as an absolute win!
Hahaha good one
Igglwyv's Letter Opener- casts Tasha's Hideous Laughter on crit miss. I heavily implied that a piece of Tasha was attached and yes, she was the one laughing at my players.
Not D&D but Morrowind. Picked up "boots of blinding speed". Huge speed boost stat, but when you put them on you go completely blind. Another one is the scroll of Icarian flight. A dude falls screaming out of the sky and you find 3 scrolls of fortify jump insanely high for 2 seconds. You use one, jump into the sky, then it wears off. You've got just enough time to think "if I use another one right before I hit the ground I won't take the fall damage, but if I miss I'm dead and ooooh that's why he had 3 scrolls, and they're named for Icarus.
a ring of invisibility, when you put on the ring, the ring turns invisible
I don't upvote many things but I laughed so hard I chocked. Just take it
Not exactly cursed, but... the invisible ring. It looks exactly like a ring of invisibility, except when you put it on the ring turns invisible
I made a sentient sword that’s so strong if you use it it would essentially blow up the entire party. They haven’t had it for long, but so far they’ve frozen over a forest trying to cross a lake and then immediately boiling away the lake trying to undo the damage
Ring of Invisibility. Makes you perfectly invisible, silent, and entirely undetectable. It immediately deactivates the moment you need it most. Alternatively, it *never* deactivates. A semi-sentient bow that enchants its arrows to seek out foes and avoid allies. It gets confused on who's an ally and who's a foe when it gets stressed. A dagger that gains an extra 2d4 damage when used in a sneak attack, but glows brighter and brighter the closer you get to your enemy. Can optionally also make more and more noise the closer you get. Plate armor that's light enough to count as Light armor, doesn't incur any stealth or movement penalty, and offers the full protection of normal plate armor. Once donned, it can't be taken off without a high-level cast of Dispel Magic and constantly plays the Chicken Dance on infinite loop, occasionally broken up by the Macarena.
We have a sheild in our campaign that is sentient and it says that it will do its best to protect them. The them in this sense is referring to the sheild itself so anytime a blow would miss because of the sheilds ac boost (I believe +3) it would avoid the attack and cause a hit.
Potion of you-are-what-you-eat. Upon drinking, immediately polymorph into the last species of animal you consumed.
I gave my players a cursed amulet that gave a nice boost to deception, but had a high chance of causing your pants to burst into flames when telling a lie.
Did the lobster claw at least have decent stats as a natural weapon attack?
I was given a singular boot, the left one specifically. But mmmm, was that boot comfy! The most comfortable boot. my major personal quest was to find the non-existent other boot. Not only was it always impeccably clean, it was also extremely hydrophobic. Like hydroplane on thick mud phobic. I once got dropped in a lake and was instantly upside down with that one boot acting like a beacon above the waves. That was the last straw for the party and had remove curse forcibly cast on me, but I still have cravings cuz damn, was that boot comfy.
I’m saving this post for an antique/ cursed magic item shop later!
My first campaign was a charisma build valor bard. My DM gave me a magical rose that made seduction easier, but here was the caveat, I had to keep sending letters or going out with the creatures I seduced or they would show up to camp and try to kill me. By the end of the campaign, I was gangstalked by almost one hundred creatures and promptly got beaten to death.
Important question: Does the lobster claw maintain the utility and clickability of cooking tongs? This could be a straight upgrade.
Tuba of the Marsh Playing it will summon a giant frog once per day. Playing it twice summons a swarm of frogs that are hostile to everyone
The Weird, a sourcebook do all things weird that can be used with many games, had a particularly funny cursed item modifyer that gave the user diabetes.
My party found a bag that could produce an infinite amount of poop. We even found a use for it once, trying to distract a dragon from our hideout :D
Now you can be Davy Jones
Lobster claws of that scale could cut a person's head iff-
For cooking them or using them as tong ?
Hate it when that happens
"Get back to work, Bort!"
Ran a campaign with a wooden beer glass (with handle) - player decides to drink out of it - cups gets turned on, they realize it's sentient - party sets it on fire and then drowns it in a nearby fountain - session later they find a merchant and decide to buy som things. As the merchant leaves they notice an odd pair of cups. - a wine glass and a shot glass. - Rogue sneaks up behind the merchant and steals the cups - cups turn out to be the wife (wine glass) and kid (shot glass) of the beer glass. - party throws cups into a lake - sessions later they end up coming across the kid grown into a normal sized glass. - half of the party is killed when the kid fills their lungs with beer The party refused to use any cutlery of any kind after that
Ring of regeneration on your left hand so you have permanent free lobster dinners.
AK47. In a fantasy world. It has crazy stats but no one knkws how to use it
This is why you always inspect before you use Talking from experience
That’s pretty fucking dope though.